Vixens En Garde - Maryland Renaissance Festival 2024

allow me to introduce the sexy SW woman before you to my right is our courtier Hara she loves fine dining fine clothing and a finely filled pair of ties oh to my left is our magad pie the she loves shiny things sparkly things things that Glitter and oh look over there Sticky Fingers and I am a blacksmith Andromeda I love honing Blaze looks perfect Breaking Chains and stargazing show me those celestial bodies and Together We All That B blades for how Fe of deadly Beauties to assemble you might ask we'd love to tell you but then we to kill you suffice it to say that our unusual background our outspoken way our predilection for fighting our habit of wearing tights and the general our assets make it quite impossible for us to fit the mold up Womanhood is this our Renaissance England so we did the only sensible thing that we could think of that would allow us to drink fight and get laid paid get paid we became mercenaries that we were fast thre formed the viory and have traveled together ever since in search of Adventure F and work indeed we are availing our sword skills to earn us a pie of eight eight AO unfortunately these are trying times and since scared we're skar broke so we got to begin performing here and there to earn us a little extra fonting as actors you know since that's a real stable line of work and so here we are ready to present our show during which we will be showing you William Shakespeare's nauy really really is that decent how to get your hands on his bits do you have to us well first I heated up the forge and then I lengthened out his village and then I 13 rating oh right we'll be performing some of Shakespeare's best fits in inrig figh Romance and seeing as last week in London when we be players at the Globe Theater certain Mr henslow informed us that are not allowed to appear on the English stage we therefore in a sunning display of we shall not only FL the fact that we are wearing H H tight we shall bonely go where no man has gone before West young man go to the beach oh that's my job we shall L play all the male roles and be needing your help to play the female role we'll be seeing one of you again later our entertainment for you today is roll please the tragedy of wait what I'm doing Julia H friend Roman Countryman L me Sunday we always do Romeo Julet on Sunday I'd rather do Hamlet Hamet on Saturday so it's not Julia Caesar but beware the eyes of M I prepared Hamlet and besides we haven't rehearsed Romeo and Juliet oh why don't we just do the first part of the play the SE the yes who wants to see Hara seduce Juliet as Romeo in a stei balcony scene who wants to see blade wielding babes in action oh Point not let's do this why don't we just with the audience's help tell the story and we'll throw in the lines you remember right so from pish all the way over to here including you there in the back you are now my family the Glamorous B you hate them because they're wearing florals ground breaking and you love me because obviously I know that this is not turquoise this is not lapis this is seruan blue I'll be playing that Paragon of romance Romeo monu and from here and all the way over to here and you all in the back you are now part of my family the I am bending cabula you hate them because they're are always cold and you love me because I know how to give a good pounding and because I will be playing that fire and ass kicking soulman OT cabul now these two rival families have their own battle cries whenever you hear us go mon you all go yeah and whenever you hear us go you all go let F shall we let's get ready and Juliet on three 1 2 once upon a time in Italy Mama Mia here I go again the lived in artist formly known as Prince of Thea who was trying to keep the peace between the two rival families of the mon and the two households both the life and dignity in serona where we may from ancient Grudge break to new Mutiny and insult the crap out of each other this you zy Lippard Lon you beetle-headed flapp name that drama you a foron Malto drudge well in that case enter tibles c in that case Mario friend of the House of mon I will bite my thumb at them but is a disgrace to them if they bear it do you bite your thumb at us sir I do bite my thumb sir do you bite your thumb at us sir as the law on our side if I say I no no sir I do not bite my thumb at you sir but I do bite my thumb sir in fact for all of us ready we all bite ourselveses ready oh do you quarrel sir quarrel sir no sir if you do sir I am for you my turn me merio look upon my dead oh crap I do but keep the peace keep up oh watch drawn and talk of peace I hate the word as I hate hell all monu and thee the prince rebellious subjects enemies to peace your weapons to the ground and he the sentence of your moving three civil brawls sprad of an Airy word by the Capulet and the mon have chice to serve the quiet of our streets who said this ancient qu on your Ro he did no he did you did you did you always you disturb our streets again you're life shall pay the for of the no shoot o you're in trouble no you're in trouble no you're in trouble you are trouble yeah once more on pain of death all men depart I'm so begin our play When the artists forly known as CL aola tries to keep the peace between the two feuding families by putting them in a really serious time out enter Romeo who is Ming because things in the romance Department aren't going so well enter Mario Romeo my cousin Romeo hum madman passion that's all right let's go to the party all right so cheer him up Maro sneaks Romeo into a m ball the C are hosting that night Ander tible C you who is really Vex that a monteu would dare crash our party I am so vexed vexed that every part about me Quivers if you know what I mean I hate him so much and Flames flames on the side of my faceing breath unw this Romeo Romeo is in transed by the fair Juliet on the Dance Floor crap what we need now is a J looking for someone lovely yes please o someone innocent I don't know about that something someone really really spectacular excellent right here here we go now I think that we should put stepen here through the test according to the Lord Wikipedia surely the greatest of our age the role of the Ary was usually played by someone possessing the following qualities one she must be endearingly innocent and wholesome when you say you are innocent and wholesome excellent she must be naive would you say you are naive well you came up here didn't you would you will take it free she must be virginal well let's not spoil this moment shall we who here thinks that Steven is perfect for the role of Julia now Sten there are only two more things you need to play Juliet and they are a costume as a flower for sniffing like this now you try makio has brought Romeo to the cath party and Romeo is about his lady love for the very first time there she stands provocatively sniffing a rose and shaking her booty like it's 1599 to burn call me but but love is the life and I'll be new baptized they meet instantly fall in love and of course what comes next is the famous balcony seene but soft what light beyond the window breaks it is east and Juliet is the are you sing trouble I'm trying will you all help me h t o she she says nothing that what it oh sorry um you say Speak Again Bright Angel say Romeo Romeo Romeo Romeo where where Romeo thus Juliet is Smitten by Romeo's tremendous woing and so she does what any heroin would do in this situation she into s flow please if you can please be so kind as to cre yourself in our very capable hands I never thought I'd have to say this to anyone but don't be so s ch everyone well that was a great deal of P what do you say we get back to the P St good idea now she is a c and he is a mon but does that stop them oh no they begin to sneak around and soon with the help of FR Lawrence and Juliet's nurse they are secretly wet to the end you may now the blind hold on come over here things are about to get dangerous enter T C you who is still really V and unaware that he and Romeo are now Family Vibes Mar has challenged Romeo to a jewel but instead comes across M mon looking to a f a word with you but a word couple it with something make it a word and AIO that consult us with Romeo consult what th make a me here's my fiddle stick here that shall make you a there here comes my man fromia the love I be you can afford no better term than this thou art a villing villain am I None therefore farewell as you know not Bo turn it draw good calculate which name I tender as dearly as my own be satisfied oh dishonorable vile submission T you grat catcher will you walk What would good king of cats nothing but one of your nine lives I sir shame me now you kid me what jeal as promised vix on vix action love and leave them wow I need a bit of crunching off that her I have my tool please this one no telling the bigger one thank you so much ready action it but do you always she hurt what thought that hurt a scratch a scratch Mary she's enough of Courage man the her canot be much will serve ask for me tomorrow and you shall find me a great man why the devil came you between us I was hurt under your rock I thought for the best a plague a plague on both your houses my very friend his mortal in my my reputation stained with tib slander that GED Spirit at the Spy of the cloud was too untimely here th the Earth Here Comes The Glorious T backing alive in Triumph and makio slain away to Heaven respective lity and fire I Fury be my conduct now now K take the bill and V which they found with me for makio soul is but a little way above our heads saying for thine to keep him company either thou or I or both will go him thou wretched boy that did consult him here shall wi him head this that I'm tired of this Grandpa you really killed it oh come on these are the jokes people and as a result Romeo is banished by the prince Bish Bish I am Fortune's fool sorry babe meanwhile poor Juliet we need her back meanwhile poor Juliet considered suicide but laink potion simulating death instead saying that this would allow her to secretly move to Tahiti it's a the rest of her life on a beach with Romeo where suncreen tropical dreams my time and watching the sunset Juliet agre thetion and is buried in the family T unfortunately Lawrence of leure to Romeo detailing and explaining this PO plan does not reach him in time used enter Romeo who believing Juliet to be dead plans to poison himself oh my love my wife come bitter conduct come unsavory guide here to my love tastes like col th with a kiss I wait is my lips right thus with a kiss I hang on th with a kiss I Juliet now awakes only to see that he is dead and because this is a comedy she takes the dagger speaks one lost line happy dagger oh happy dagger and kills herself a big round of applause to Sten Juliet and let's hear it one more time for the mon you company you have been absolutely fabulous audience if you should like to keep in tou with us you can join us in the boxes then at patreon.com follow us on all social media including the book of face tag us we love performing for you so if you love watching us please feel free to give us one more big round of applause be guys like be nice and cool down too it's not hot right here nice breeze and we are fix are