The Crow (2024 Remake)

[Music] yeah so there's this thing in uh in rap that I always really appreciate and uh two of the greats to ever do this particular style of rap that I'm talking about tonight is Jay-Z and Lil Wayne Oh I thought you can say dialon not dialon I said I said two not five yeah uh well it be seven s and the thing about Jay-Z and Lil Wayne in particular is that they both have a reputation for being exceptional rappers who do not write their lyrics uh they just step in the booth and then they just let it go and then uh they're able to make some incredible records just from memory and they influen two different generations of for other up and cominging rappers Little Dicky his freestyle was off the chain yeah that was off the chain yeah uh but the thing of it is is that I believe it was Jay-Z one day he was being interviewed by a radio host and he was asked so uh how do you feel about you know influencing all these other rappers and and with them bragging about also not writing their their lyrics down with them just freestyling and JC goes yeah I can tell they need to Star writing and the reason I bring that up is because as a longtime comic book reader and a longtime viewer of comic book movies I can tell when a movie is just freestyling some [ __ ] and I'm like y'all should have really wrote some [ __ ] down I don't bring that up for any particular reason really this uh it goes back to that uh George R Martin quote that I shared uh a couple episodes ago you know we talking about how it doesn't matter who writes it there's always some douchebag in Hollywood that thinks I can improve on this oh yeah you know true no matter what so uh o where your drink at heat right oh okay he he uh he got I'm just going to let y'all know this man got a coffee monster on the way over here Mean Bean I imagine no dog like got that Loca mocha loam Moka okay he drank that [ __ ] from the gas station to hear [ __ ] which folks is not but like a mile tops yeah I I I needed that energy you know I went straight to the theater from work uh-huh like straight there you time that [ __ ] I mean literally you you walked into the theater like right as the actual movie started yeah that's true yeah you did I mean like it was within like 3 seconds and then you quickly realize the movie never really starts that's true you I I have this thing called homie privilege I walked in there and I said you know you can't start the moving till I sit down right and they're like we got you ah got it got it well uh for those of you who may or may not have you know read the title before you clicked on it if I understand if you just want to listen to our stuff and you know that no matter what the content is that you will both be you know absolutely just enamored by it and delighted you know I I get that um but some of you guys listen to both read or die episodes and then hey I appreciate that yeah yeah I mean because there's no way you had any idea what the [ __ ] we were talking about you know I mean and and neither did Brendan so you know you're probably right there in lock step with him uh but uh tonight we actually are going to be here uh we're going to do a review of the 2024 Crow movie and just to go ahead and kind of set the expectations for that uh all our movie reviews follow a very simple set of rules uh the first half of this is going to be spoiler free uh we we will have a little part in the Middle where we will [ __ ] a little bit I mean we probably going to [ __ ] a lot uh and give you guys time to tune out if you haven't seen the movie don't want to get spoiled and then the second half will be absolutely balls to the wall spoilers spoiler riic um and also on this very kind of a special occasion I will note that uh since this is a remake of the original Crow film from 94 94 back in 94 literally 94 uh these two have seen and like the 94 movie uh I have never seen it uh so I'm kind of the uh control here as as far as uh I'm untainted by any really not going to get anywh additional bias a the great thing about this now is that you guys can see o seething uh yeah yeah like uh I I've I've kind of made a career on this show of uh like having emotions that I don't verbalize and also ones that I do um but yeah yall get to see all of that so fun yeah he's visibly uncomfortable for two reasons number one he's in the middle he hates that that that's a ADHD thing but yeah number two he just watched this movie and he also hates that yes uh I guess the proper introductions are in order they are before we and Caleb thank you for the for the wonderful reading of the rules as well uh so so proper introductions are in fact in order for those of you who may happen to be new here to the superhero homies podcast my name is superhero homie q and tonight I'm here with two of my my closest and bestest friends in the whole wide world uh they they are such good friends if they were murdered in Cold Blood and I knew them for 72 hours and I was also murdered I would come back as a eventual spirit for reasons and with that being said I am here here with my brother my homie the homie Oz welcome back how's it going everybody uh you finally get to see well this isn't the first time we've done video but and a bunch of my listeners have come over so that's a fair point that's a fair point yeah but uh hi nice to see you guys what's up and of course as always I'm here with my illustrious co-host homie Caleb what up what up I am considerably happier to be here than I was the last time I was here however not stop ranting about this however I'm prettyy sure that this episode's going to come out first yeah so from the past I'm here to inform you that in the future I will be experiencing something very negative well there was a DeLorean in this and there was a DeLorean in this movie so maybe maybe I used that maybe it would have been a better plot than we got um [ __ ] um but yeah uh I guess I guess right off the bat and I it it's probably very evident I I think at this point to anybody who may be tuning into to this or you know I think the general feeling on the internet but uh you know what was you guys's kind of just overall basic thoughts on the on the movie I think I'll go first on this one okay uh oh yeah so uh my my initial thoughts on this movie were I appreciated the effort that they put in to kind of spice things up from the original story they they didn't try to recreate the 94 and to a degree I can appreciate not doing kind of a a onetoone remake of what we got before I appreciate the effort uh and they they also chose not to try to stick closer to the original comic as well instead this movie kind of went off did his own thing if I had to kind of explain how this movie is related to the comic book it would be like if I pitched you a movie as I was passing you walking down the street you know it it would be like if it' be like you were just walking down the street right and then you don't you don't even notice me but I'm walking past you and I go the course is Supernatural thrill in about the man name ER dra his girlfriend gets killed and until to see another and then I'm gone and you're like I caught some of that and I think I can make a movie oh yeah and that's kind of what was that last name again it doesn't matter he's just going to be called Eric uh but I thought that this movie um it's somehow it it lacked all of the style of the original 94 and and the style was damn near half of what carries the original 94 Crow yeah uh and the other half is the uh the the direction the writing of performance for Brandon Lee and I got to say I also feel like that was missing from here as well but to interject some quasi positive I felt that this movie tried to explore Realms of our main characters that maybe weren't so explored in the original 94 or even the comic book to that extent uh they they tried some things to make you feel more for some of our main characters they they really wanted us to have a connection and uh unfortunately it didn't work for reasons that we were getting to throughout the course of this podcast but man ultimately yeah I was little disappointed I felt like my car had stalled out and it wouldn't get over 20 that's how this movie also failed but I there's a lot to say here but those are my vague basic thoughts I what about you oh to keep this vague um so I kind of explained this to Caleb on the car ride over here is it kind of felt to me like watching the Seth Rogan Ninja Turtles movie but watching The Crow it was like they had a vague idea of what the characters were the story was and decided to make a lot of changes that weren't in my opinion smart I'm very not happy with this movie like like At first I like when I was right before I left the theater I was like okay maybe it wasn't as bad as I was thinking but the more I've stewed on it in the past 20 to 30 minutes to get here from the theater from my seat I have fully determined that I dislike this movie completely I knew that before we left the theater so you know what what's interesting is that I think that uh probably in in in the next two to three weeks or next next month or whatever when we review the the original Crow uh we'll revisit this movie in spirit and and and talk more in depth about some things of course yeah uh and Caleb I can't wait for you to see the original same to kind of gaug your thoughts on that and and now I don't I don't want to I don't want to temper your expectations any kind of way I don't think that the original is perfect no stretch it's it's a cult classic for a reason uh but man what it does do well it does well in Spades and uh but yeah man what were your thoughts on this um I I didn't think it was like an awful movie um you know like I said when we came out of the theater like uh if it's between this and Umbrella Academy Season 4 give me this every day you know uh twice on Sunday um but obviously this movie did not do anything uh fantastic uh if if anybody uh I I'd say the the best played characters in the movie are probably the the main villain and Shelly um and even then the dialogue is kind of like an 11-year-old wrote it or as I made the comparison of a a a child who has just hit puberty and thinks they know what love is yeah um I I was not you know there's probably one scene in the movie where I thought that the there was some really good action and then there's a couple scenes in the movie where the action is is good uh and it is very gritty um you know they definitely aren't doing a bunch of camera cuts to like hide the gore or anything like that um but uh there's definitely nothing in this movie where it's like something else isn't doing it better and that's having not seen the original right uh so yeah I mean I never hated it um I I think the First Act has some incredible pacing problems uh to and that's even putting it lightly um but uh no I mean you know didn't hate this didn't love it wouldn't be in a hurry to watch it again uh if I was bored and it was on I might watch it you know uh but yeah that's that's you're a better man than I that's about my basic thoughts for the movie I mean I can't really be upset at with anything Caleb said because had I not seen the original movie or if I had not read the comic book had this been my first exposure to anything Crow related then I would just walk away saying yeah I watch some mundane action movie yeah you know some some mildly Gothic Hot Topic action movie yeah yeah and uh and I mean like it it wouldn't sear my brain you know like some other terrible movies I've seen it would just be forgotten you know I just kind of forget about it uh but because you know I have seen the the original 94 because I have read the comic there are a lot of things that that I cannot just push away and that's the thing that gets me you know that you're remaking a cult classic that people love like people really really truly love this movie a lot more than than D I say even I was in myself yeah like there are people who love it way more than us yes there are people the internet that are Furious that they even attempted to to remake them I mean to be perfectly honest like I felt the same way I was like why are you doing this there's no reason to I I will say this for it the it's better than the trailer made it look because that trailer came out and I was like I've never seen the original movie but this looks God awful uh it was kind of like the the the same feelings I get when I watch any of the Venom 3 trailers so like the movie was actually better than the trailer made it look somehow whoever made that trailer needs to get fired that that is the case sometimes right but you know I I actually was never upset at them wanting to remake this movie see I probably wouldn't have been as upset if it wasn't Eric Draven like if they would have because I guess the the little bit of you know like we can throw this a little bit like the comic book lore is that the crow is not the same person every time it's once the that particular person has finished its business they move on and it becomes another person right and if they would have done that I would think I would have respected this movie a lot more but since they heavily implied it was Eric Draven and Shelly Webster then that's I think that was a huge that's the Nostalgia in me being pissed yeah I guess for me even them wanting to retell the Eric Draven story that doesn't fully upset me either uh and and I get it right A lot of people have feelings that like well this is this is Brandon Le's role and no one else should do it uh I I'm not in that camp for actor sorry also recast to Chala uh I knew you were going there yeah I'm I'm never in that camp of of just oh no let the road down with the person uh yeah give me another Joker I I mean like these roles you know are are kind of immortal and it's a part of Storytelling and it's it's it is it's it's a part of the gift that they leave us but you know I just I just assumed that if you're going to try to attempt to tell the story of Eric Draven as the crow that you would handle this with like the most careful nuclear reactor resistant gloves that you possibly can because you know that you're handling something that can that can make you a lot of money if you handle it correctly and if you don't then you're you're not going to make money you're going to have a really pissed off fan base you know and I I do feel like the super die hards like I consider myself a pretty strong fan of the crow like it that movie really did like change a lot of who I was when I was younger and um I know there's people who are way more affected by this than me and just I I cannot imagine what that's going to do I almost said this movie you know in well you know no I can't say this this movie definitely inspired a a the original inspired a legendary wrestler in in the name of Sting right you know what I mean and I mean so if anyone watched WCW in the in the late 90s you know yeah congratulations you know where his influence is uh there's a reason it's called Crow thing yeah exactly uh but if I had to look at this movie aside from the original and just judging what I have unfortunately I still have a a big old nothing burger for the most part and that's and that's unfortunate yeah I think for for me personally an app comparison is like if I've never seen the original Mortal Kombat movie then the one we got like three years ago it would be okay I I I like I like the Subzero scorpion fights like you know I don't I don't know who this new guy is what was his name Cole or whatever okay yeah I enjoyed this more than I enjoyed the new Mortal Kombat for sure other than like I've still never not seen it so the the the Subzero scorpion stuff was like the only highlights and then everything else was garbage this movie is kind of the same but like what what does this movie have that to me this movie doesn't have anything that tops the Subzero scorpion stuff I don't think it tops it but like I can look at this movie and go the action was pretty good and that's all it's got and then at that Mortal Kombat movie I can go the Scorpion Subzero stuff was pretty good and that's all I got so and that's what I'm saying right but it's like but also just to continue that comparison looking at the original Mortal Kombat movie it's like it's it's not perfect by any means but you understand why people rever it so much MH but but also it's like the one thing that the the newer one does better better is maybe the action that's because High bigger budget and times have changed you know choreography is definitely come a long way yeah yeah but you know with that being said we can kind of break some of these things down uh I want to start with the pacing and I think that we all agree Caleb you said the pacing for act one I thought the pacing for I for me the pacing was so bad I don't even think there was an Act 2 or three I mean I kind of agree with you man oh God it was yeah I mean go ahead it was just uh like that the the slow pacing of the introduction of the you know the the two main characters was just okay when are y'all going to hit the gas somewhere somewhere and it doesn't get hit until like if you can call it this mid Act 2 like it's really not that good yeah I thought that yeah I mean don't get wrong I don't think the pacing is great at any point during the movie I mean honestly like it hits the crescendo like way before the end like you got a good 15 20 minutes a movie after this thing PE Peaks mhm you know like the roller coaster rides over and we're just sitting in the seats waiting on them to release the bar I mean that's a good analogy actually and it's like are you going to let us out of here or you know and uh yeah there's just uh I I I think it crawls and then like once the thing happens that kind of puts us in act too you're like all right well cool you know we're we're going to we're going to go and then it's like are we're not all right uh okay we're not uh we're going to go okay we're going to visit another guy and it's like you can you can tell because the either because we all watch too many movies or just modern plot beats have become super obvious and it may be both but it's like there's points in time where he goes and does a thing that you would do in in this type of movie right after a big action piece where it's like okay we've had the gas on let's hit the brakes give him a little bit to come down before we fire back up again but there was no fire up like we just crawled to a stop sign like there was no you know and there there is a lot of that I I I think for me it's the most severe in act one because it's almost like act one is like its own little short film it is you know it is and then act two is like okay now we pressed play on The Crow and and and oh God and then it's like when are we going to get around to that movie because but yeah I think it's awful in Act One some of the worst pacing I've ever seen in a movie and then after that it it picks up but it never like as you tend to say like the juice is not worth the squeeze no no it is not God damn it's not yeah uh the pacing killed me in this because my thoughts were it may not be a good movie it may not have a strong plot the characters might even be weak in this movie but I guarantee you they're going to hit the gas pedal and give us a bunch of nonsensical cool ass action uh I was probably like a quarter right with everything I just said uh they they really thought that they had we just go into the plot here now vaguely speaking but they really thought they had a super genuine hardfill plot on their hand you can tell by the way that they handle it and it's to the point where again no spoilers but the way that this movie ends is frustrating because it could have been a heart-wrenching moment had they made me give a [ __ ] throughout the other parts of the movie Yes like H I almost started jumping into the spoiler stuff but like oh man I I agree with you like there was I had a very hard time seeing the connections that they were trying to make with these characters any of them really um even the villain like don't get me wrong I don't know what the [ __ ] the villain is I guess m spoiler right I would it's like I would spoil it for you if I knew cuz it was never explained um not really uh no but like yeah the the the the plot like it just kind of fell right into in line like at least they were consistent like their pacing was garbage and the plot was garbage so and and but that kind of leads into the other thing that being the the characters aren't great either no K what you think about the plot here I think that if you showed me an outline of the plot of this movie I would go okay you know like that's a decent this this is a decent modern Blockbuster I mean it honestly just if you put it in like an outline format it's very similar to like a John Wick it would look like the crow which just frustrating uh you know uh uh so some good things happen and then and then a bad thing really really bad thing happens and then uh one character is very upset about the bad thing that happens and then they go out and and take care of [ __ ] and all black yeah yeah with a with a uh legendary plus three trench code you know uh and and so I'm like you know okay uh I I'll watch this you know but it's just the execution is not tremendous uh in any way shape or form uh like I said it's not all bad there's there's some highlights in there uh whoever the uh whoever like choreograph the fight scenes like it was like better than CW you know so imagine R-rated CW it kind of is Right everyone is very pretty yeah you know kind of CWS yeah you don't really get even the henchmen in this movie aren't necess yeah like they're very much Secret Service like well well kempt yeah no I get that yeah yeah there was only the one guy that looked like he worked for the Gotham PD and pretty much pretty much everybody else was like straight off the CW casting call can we also talk about how like and I forget the name of the city but like the city that that the crow typically takes place in this a fictional city and I think that this one is too but it is the quietest big city I have ever seen so I I I will also say this like I don't know if you guys noticed this but while we were watching the movie it was [ __ ] dead quiet in that uh theater like like it was almost like maybe people were so confused by the pacing that there was like we have to be quiet otherwise we'll miss something maybe they're just bored maybe that was it too maybe that was it too I know that's that's what I was was why I was quiet I had a burger and some fries that I had got from the bar at the theater and I sat there and ate my food and then I set it down and then I was like huh I really i' I'd be a lot more entertained if I was playing on my phone right now I was like man I wonder if if o seeds enough he might not notice me sneak out and go see alen ramulus which we all agree that we would rather wouldn't seen that that when I stepped out of the car I was like man I got I got a couple hours and a movie ticket and I'm going to go see [ __ ] the crow when right down the hall they're playing alien ramula in the G GTX God damn you just know the sound oh it's going to be so oh let's go back right now let's just let's just [ __ ] off go back all right homies that's gonna be it for this one I'm sorry guys we don't even give you the the spoilers here no we're just going to go uh we do need to talk about the the the major characters though um so obviously you know we had Bill scars guard here the worst scars guard and uh I I never like when you say that I'm not very cynical though like I'm not wrong cuz I think he's great okay uh still no one bats you know no one bats a thousand that's true um Michael Kane is about it yeah yeah I yeah you guys tell me a bad Michael Kane roll I'll wait uh I'll wait I'll wait um well that's where you're wrong Master PL but uh what you guys what do you guys think of Bill scars guard here obviously coming into this he had enormous shoes to fill I mean I got to give him credit for that I mean obviously this was this was the role where it's like this should never you know this should never be recasted is the kind of the sentiment you know uh General sentiment so what do you guys think of Bill scard here I I will say that I I applaud him for not attempting to be Brandon Lee like I never once felt like he was attempting to be him like it was he took the role the best he could do with it and made made it what it was unfortunately I don't know if it was the writing or just his acting ability I don't know I don't really have much of to work with because I don't know his work very well um but to me I think he did decently at trying to at least make the role his own yeah uh couple things one I wholeheartedly agree he didn't try to be Brandon Lee which is most important because you know you're not just like no other Joker is going to try to be Heath Ledger because they know they're going to fall flat on their face it it won't work that way uh two this version of The Crow I think does greatly suffer from uh very poor writing and it would be different if there were other characters in this movie that were well written but there's not and you look at this this version of the character and it's like it's not the actor's decision I can tell in this movie because these are definitely strong plot beats that they are choosing to do for this character for example I cannot tell where Eric ends and the crow begins like the bleed over there they're just it's the same [ __ ] it's the same guy like it kind of changes towards the end at the very end yeah it kind of changes but you're right I agree like there was I was waiting for that defining moment that oh [ __ ] he is the crow now right and I never really fully felt it like I felt like they kind of like gave us a little bit a Stutter Step a Stutter Step but they never gave us the full Crow no no not even close and uh and thirdly and lastly and that is uh listen uh the writing lit him down uh I know that he has the acting chops do way better than ultimately what we got in this movie but think of it this way before they chose Bill scars guard they were going to go with Jason Mamoa do with that what you will oh man um wow that's very different I don't know how I would feel about that it this was very uh Anakin Skywalker meets Jerry Leto's Joker I like and I mean attack of the Clones Anakin not of the good iteration yeah no no no like I I will I will say like scars guard there was a handful of times I was like is he really attempting to do Hayden christensen's voice yeah it it there were there were times where he was straight up aping 2002 Hayden Christensen here like almost like he was watching tapes before it came also I don't know if you guys picked up on this but every time he talked to a character in the movie that had an accent he would change a little bit and have a little bit of that accent you know you know like that's a very natural thing that happens yeah I do it all the time but I do it all the time too but and you know you I know you get stuck in accents and [ __ ] but like in a movie you kind of the director should be like cut retake that you're doing this but this just made it into the film every time I don't know if you guys picked up on I I really didn't but also like you have to watch it again and no I will not um but I was like I said like there was those moments where I was just like it was hard to listen to some of that dialogue yeah oh yeah and for me like the hardest dialogue to listen to was in the First Act yeah oh it was oh and then we'll definitely break that down later um you know uh I I think there's really only the three main characters here so uh let's uh is the I guess the actress is FKA twigs yeah so I was so confused when I uh cuz I was looking at the cast a couple days ago just trying to see who who I was in the movie and and I was like this person was formerly known as Twigs that's what I thought too I was like you trying to pull some prints [ __ ] and I was like who the [ __ ] is who the [ __ ] was twigs for me to know them right yeah I've never like she she feels like I I I've seen her before but she does she does have that there was like yeah it's like it's like I know you but I've never seen you before right exactly I I'll say this uh with all due respect to the actress she's very lovely she plays the stoner very well oh yeah she does yeah it was very believable to me yeah mhm 100% I was like this [ __ ] does drugs yeah before we ever even found out that she does right yeah I mean that's Fair yeah yeah um so here's what I say right and and and maybe this is I guess pseudo mild spoilers for for you Caleb but oh no yeah like for a 30y old movie for a 30-y old movie uh I mean Shelly doesn't get this in the in the 94 no she doesn't like she is only visible in flashbacks flashbacks but somehow some way that was more effective than what they do here in this movie I know and it's weird because those flashback the new flashbacks in this one too but in the '94 movie The flashbacks really helped you feel draven's pain and it kind of helped you resonate with the character but like that was the thing like whenever he had flashbacks in this movie it kind of felt like he didn't respond to them it was just like flash and then he's just he's still walking like yeah like give me something give me some emotion there yeah it was almost like they had no intention of putting the flashback in that spot they did it in in editing yeah in post yeah yeah that is what that felt like but I mean in terms of what she what she did I mean it was it it it was fine I guess you know like it it it didn't hinder the movie as much as just the the basic plot beats of what she had hurt the movie [Music] yeah I mean I definitely want to talk more about her character when we go into the spoiler section um because there's certain things that just don't check right um but that's more the writing I thought the actress was fine uh you know I wasn't blown away but I I you know I I thought that she delivered like I think that her and Bill Skarsgard both had very crummy dialogue very you know lowest common denominator dialogue uh I thought that she delivered hers fine uh I was never as bothered by her delivery as I was by his um but you know she was just fine she was nice to look at was the best day of shooting for Bill when he got to just grab a handful of her ass yeah yeah I mean there's a part where there was that point where you know he basically had his face in it and I was like I was like you know what director uh I don't think that was a a good take let's I think we need to that again yeah you know let's run the back let's do a little couple more takes and see which one we like best yeah yeah play it back can we play that in slow mode actually slow mo yeah 100% uh you the last one I want to talk about is uh Danny Huston who was the villain here oh surprise always typ cast whatever dude is the villain in everything I he he's he's typ cast now to the point where they need to put him in something where it turns out he's like a nice guy and like that's the twist I'd be waiting for the double twist right yeah yeah there's an after credit scene where he's just like ah it was a double cross uh this guy is in everything right like uh he was uh he's the middleaged striker Striker yeah uh cuz there's like three different actors that have played Striker uh Brian Cox was the uh the older Striker I don't know the name of the guy that played a m D's Future Past and then this was the one in uh X-Men Origins Wolverine this is the one that showed uh Deadpool's mouth shut and and started this whole alternate timeline that we're in yeah um and uh he's a major villain in Yellowstone I mean he's just he's in all sorts of things he a Wonder Woman yeah he he's always a [ __ ] yeah he's he's always a villain if you just need somebody to just have this air of douchebaggery I mean this is the guy it it's that smug look he he just has this face that you just want to punch yeah he has resting smug face yeah he does he he definitely strikes me as a guy who who owns some big Tire Corporation and every every quarter or so he comes down you know he yeah walks the shop walks the shop floor like I'm gracing you with my presence that's right nitp some [ __ ] is this area always this unkempt obviously knowing nothing about what his actual business does absolutely not he definitely does give that douchebag boss Vibe yeah does he looks like to me that he owns some of those was uh like Ice Cube specifically for Scotch you know what I'm saying I mean I'm not I'm not going to lie I I would have that if I drank Scotch that's true I mean uh I I I I do some Bouie [ __ ] from time to time you time to time two chains used to have this show it was the most phenomenal show ever it was I think it was called uh literally was called the most expensivest [ __ ] ever expensivest yeah and uh and he would just he would just go and like and like experience some of the most bougie expensivest [ __ ] ever and one of those was like I think it was $200 ice cubes that were made specifically like for you know for uh for consuming whatever yeah and it was like he was like God damn this cost how much $200 for ice cubes it's water frozen water well he drank like $500 water like and it's so funny cuz like they they like they do like this super dramatic editing like when he's taking the Sip or when he's doing anything in the show and then the camera is like focus on him then on like the person presenting it and then on the item and they're playing like the super intense music and you go yeah man this [ __ ] tastes like water [ __ ] $500 water it's kind of like the that scene in Pulp Fiction is like I didn't know what a $5 Shake tastes like nowadays a $5 Shake is just average average God that's like a McDonald shake they right [ __ ] Sonic shake during happy hour right yeah during happy hour happy hour doing three to five yeah yeah I mean uh yeah this guy he he always looks like he just like left a set of a cigar commercial you know right uh but I I thought that he was a you know he was good here uh he once again the script did him no favors he has uh I say what he did with his little bit though yeah was really good he was the best character yeah he was he the best character it's it's low bar you know cuz like he could have played this [ __ ] like a [ __ ] cartoon character but he he he could have I kind of want to see a [Laughter] cut the crow thinks she can follow me I want to see uh I want to see him like soft parenting the whole way the whole way through now you didn't want to come here to fight me did you you got your he got your you know Hot Topic ey Shadow on don't you want to be in the club wearing that you know do you really want to waste it on me right that really what you want to do think about it is that what shell would want oh jeez yeah yeah then he's going to get [ __ ] merked immedately you're right uh but yeah he I thought he did a good job but he also has vague powers and we hate that [ __ ] very much so oh God like don't get me started on those Powers man it just it really threw me off everybody B powers that has poers yeah yeah and there only well I'm not going to SP yeah I mean I'll be honest walking into this movie I thought it was just going to be one person you know and then to my surprise this mother another [ __ ] with powers I almost asked you guys questions like there was about you know about uh about 25 minutes into this [ __ ] you know while we were still watching The Notebook uh I was like d uh do he does does someone get powers or no one has powers okay uh is something G to happen I thought he had a trench coat where's the trch co oh oh this isn't really a spoiler but like the Trin coat almost became an interesting character on its own because there was that point when they first show it mhm and then like they're in that hotel room or whatever and then he takes it off and puts it on the chair and then they just super hyperfocus shot of the trench coat on the chair and once you know he got it I was like really in case you missed it the that's the rings of Power Shot where they're like hey you know this thing is going to be important right we're going to give you about 90 seconds to okay here we are it it it was definitely a good uh 10 to 15 second shot it was so stupid well ah since we're already on you uh you know the next thing we need to talk about here is the soundtrack why did you oh yeah okay so I probably could have forgave a lot of stuff in this movie um but the soundtrack is not one of them I grew up with that soundtrack from the original movie and it like it sparked a lot of my music taste today and the fact that there was none of the songs in this movie fit the tone really it was almost like a uh like uh abstract circus meets pop hit a lot of the times they go to an opera at one point and that bothered me that like like I understood what they were trying to do but it just didn't work for me I'm glad you did cuz we're going to have to revisit that in the spoiler section yep yeah I feel like Bruce Wayne asked his parents to leave that Opera right and just the that was the worst part of the movie to me was the music period like there was nothing good that made me like like the original crow like we were we actually run into our friend Kevin uh not not not the homie Kevin but a wrestling friend of ours who is very much into it just like like he was way more into it than us I think because you know he had a wrestling gimmick basic off of it you know died him yeah how many of our okay lot a lot I even had a phase bro come on but um yeah like he was he was just saying it like I I definitely agree was like the original had that soundtrack that like it flowed really well together and then you made it made you feel those scenes and like it would give you goosebumps in moments but this movie it just pissed me off a whole [ __ ] time you don't like Inu it has its placees dog this is not the movie come on man en you was was great and Gladiator I I've never seen the original movie but when I look at it look at like stills of it I get a Vibe of like the Matrix meets Batman Forever this movie was not that no like that's actually pretty [ __ ] close but it's it's more of that like it kind of reminded me of rent Oh you mean the new one yeah okay talking about you talking about the one we just watched tonight yes yes yeah yeah so like the origin like the new one reminded me of rant and how like none of the songs really fit the tone of what was happening in the scene it bothered me so much you can pull that off as a stylistic choice if you are good as [ __ ] they aren't no yeah uh it was it was either also Caleb it was one of you too who made mention of like uh you wonder where the budget was for this movie it was it was I yeah and I think I because I had the same question but I think that may play a factor into the music selection like a lot of that clearing cost a lot of bread especially like if you're not like if you're Sony it's one thing you just pull from Sony's catalog this ain't the case yeah so I I did see in the end credits it did say original music by this person and I'm like I'm wondering if that was all him like or that I don't even know it was him I just saw a name like I was reing so I understand it was uh it was a pretty modest budget 50 million uh by the day Standish for a superhero movie that is very modest yeah I mean like and you could tell I mean there wasn't a lot of it I mean but [ __ ] it the it on on uh its first day at the box office it didn't even crack a mill s 50k yeah I I think that the it it's probably not going to be Borderlands bad cuz I think there's a lot of people that'll go see this just to be curious how awful it is but that's kind of uh honestly works against it is it's not bad enough for you to sit back and go look how awful you know there's a certain level of bad where you like Captain America 1990 where you can just sit back and be like oh my God this is hilariously bad I will never sit through that movie again but this movie isn't that you know I mean at least with that movie we could pause it and laugh at the fake ears for 20 minutes that's true that's true there there were no laughable moments in this movie no there really weren't it it was more of just like really yeah like it was more of that it was yeah um it's not quotable there's no you know oh and the original movie was very quotable like matter of fact air dven quotes Edgar Allen Poe in the [ __ ] movie that's just how isor he is I mean me yes uh I will say and I will give this movie this much credit I did not have that weird uncomfortable feeling where I couldn't sit still like I did with every other horrible movie we've watched on this show um so I wasn't uncomfortable watching it it was just annoying to me the movie was just annoying uh another kind of pseudo positive for this um we don't have to deal with the uh the the little girl in this movie she character technically is in this movie but they repackaged her completely was that who that was supposed to be uhhuh same thing yeah was it Sophie no uh is it Sophie Sophie uh the name of Leah yeah cuz in the in the comic book and in the 94 that was the little girl in this movie spoiler alert she was friends with another character uh Sarah Sarah yeah is that what they said her name was I was maybe maybe hold on uh the the the friend was sad yeah so no no that's the thing in the comic book the name is stie and she's she's a little girl and the 94 they changed the name to Sarah and then yeah and then okay yeah uh okay so it's supposed to be the same I kind of got that feeling but then like the way things happened yeah you know I was like whatever so the director on this is uh rert Sanders okay just sounds like a douchebag I'll be honest any anyone named rert yeah but he also I'm going have to disagree with you who do you know name rert there is a guy who plays rert Giles his ALS his also name is Robert in Buffy the Vampire Slayer and I love that guy oh yeah have you met him he met be a douchebag I mean he's British but I don't know if that makes him a douchebag or not there's a a baseline of douchebaggery that's a fair point British uh it's the accent right like the accent you know it upticks your like charm but it AO you know it it adds the inverse of that to your douche bagger does uh the 2017 Ghost in the Shell same director so this guy I think he might just get his rocks off on remaking but love it things poorly damn oh oh [ __ ] I mean at least that had Scarlett Johansson in a bodysuit in 2012 he did the Snow White and the Huntsman oh so yeah career yeah this is yeah this is 100% his career they're like hm we would really love a very mid remake of something beloved get Rupert's ass on the phone honestly that that is it like that is the best descriptor is this movie is just very mid like there is nothing extraordinary but there's nothing like yes I like most of my disdain for this movie is because of my Nostalgia but objectively mid mid is my favorite gen Z slang term because it came from weed that I think that's more of a millennial uh slang that's been around for for a while now I think it became like prominent like the first time I ever heard anybody say it on TV was mjf oh I mean be that guy but he got that from Black Culture and Black Culture had been using that [ __ ] for years yeah I I never heard it refer to anything other than weed until about six years ago oh yeah yeah oh well so I mean yeah that's definitely where it originated from though you know yeah it's just has been around longer than I was aware apparently and you know I feel like a lot of a lot of slang is uh is co-opted by Jim Z and those [ __ ] are like the new colonizers they they came up with everything oh yeah I had a j Zer tell me one time uh and no offense I love you guys I I I love watching y'all Stick it to the old people uh [ __ ] them but uh yeah the uh and and and I include when we are the old people you know when that happens [ __ ] us too no I'm [ __ ] you up but uh just him in the knee I had a jzer tell me one time that Stan was their word and I was like are you [ __ ] serious I'm like this song came out in like 96 get the [ __ ] out of here he wasn't [ __ ] born yeah [ __ ] what the [ __ ] I'm like there's literally a song about this from when I was in Middle School which is where the song comes from the term comes from get the [ __ ] out of here I I draw the line at that [ __ ] that's ours God damn are we are we about done with the spoiler free here I I guess we are uh yeah I don't have anything else spoiler free to say about this one you can rate this thing oh yeah let's let's go ahead and read this and uh be about our merry way uh who wants to go first I haven't seen the original so I'll go first okay this is the this is the I this this wasn't treading on anything sacred review if you ask me to to tell you something this movie does that is outstanding I really got nothing for you uh if you ask me what it does well I would say that the action is good and the villain is about as interesting as the most mid Marvel or DC villain uh for what they're given uh beyond that there's not a whole lot positive I could say um I I was not impressed with Bill scars guard here at all there was no scene where I thought he killed it um there's no scene where I thought the script killed it though either um so yeah I mean the action is kind of the Highlight here uh there's not a whole lot else I really could give it uh I'm going to give this movie The Ultimate mid score I going to give it a 5.0 yeah I'll uh I'll go next here yeah this movie is an interesting case because I am trying to on one hand score it like Caleb and and just rate it based off of its own merits pretending that there's no other source for Crow but there is unfortunately for this movie and I mean listen if you're going to do something like this you got to come correctly and you have to understand that like like I said earlier if you if you can knock it out of the park it's going to go further because of how beloved this franchisees however if you miss the ball completely the fail is going to look that much more worse because of how the love of this franchise is uh the pacing is atrocious I I agree that the music is odd at best uh I think that the the action is unfiltered which I love albe it at times it feels a little uninspired uh as an action guy I can say that like it's it's fine you can tell that it's R-rated action which is you know hey yeah let's let's do it but you know it's just it's uninspired and I'm like man like if you if they really wanted to to kind of emulate John Wick be [ __ ] creative get some creative action going on here but it's it's more or less running the meal and it's not bad but it certainly didn't do anything to really uh tickle your testies uh I thought that the characters were again at best one-dimensional I am a bill scar scard fan and this was not a good performance from him uh but also he just entirely didn't have anything to work with I don't really think anyone had anything to work with uh I do wish that bill would have put more of his own flare onto this character because he's got the Charisma to do something at least different with this character M and uh but unfortunately he didn't uh yeah this movie does it it it tries a little bit to do a lot of things differently and I applaud them for the attempt I applaud them for attempting to uh expound on on the relationship between Eric and and Shelly I I applaud them for that uh but unfortunately their attempts all fall flat for me uh I give this a 5.3 out of 10 I don't disagree with anything that you two have said um I know my emotions are a big part of this so I'm trying to do I'm actually going to give two scores one as unbiased as I can for what it is like you said there's some decent action the main the main villain definitely the best character still Odd as [ __ ] um the pacing was slow um the act like the action is really the only good thing that I kind of liked I would my unbiased opinion is a 4.5 what is your biased opinion biased opinion I was like let's go let's [ __ ] go they stomped on my childhood they uh changed characters completely um while trying to do something original which I will give them but it was horrible in my opinion so my biased opinion is a three God damn I believe that is now Oz's new low score on the podcast [ __ ] you know I just want to take this moment to reflect and say welcome to to my RO imagine reading so many wonderful comic books and can't wait to see the adaptation only for them to just piss all over it oh man so this is they Molly wed you man they Molly wed you oh he's Molly whopping me uh so so uh folks this is the the point where we're going to we're going to Mosey right uh we're going to [ __ ] a little bit we'll try not to make it too long we we didn't blue balls you guys with the guys with the cold open so uh here's our chance but uh we're going to [ __ ] a little bit if you haven't seen the movie or you know if you care about spoilers for the 2024 crow in anyway uh now is your chance to uh turn this off go watch the movie uh if you still want to see it after here in those scores and uh and then come back to us uh and uh we'll be happy to start serve you up a nice spoiler filled slice of pie in in a few minutes you know uh uh something that's interesting I I also really love the crow but I also really expected this and again like I said earlier I'm just I've grown to be more immune to having things that I love be stomped on by Hollywood I'm just I'm used to it by now apatheist begun to set in however uh every once in a while there's a movie that's so bad that it still manages to kind of poke and proud at that for me uh you haven't seen Madam wub have you no I have not we do have to nobody has a Pepsi on them I mean this is a Pepsi product it is a Pepsi product yeah uh so we do have to put in our contractual obligatory Madam we reference uh yeah I mean honestly I was thinking about that earlier uh when you were kind of making that comparison like this is like a if you pass me in the street as I was trying to explain the pitch to you that's kind of like what Madam web was although I think it's got to be worse because uh you know I'm not like an Avid Reader of Madam Webb's Comics but just like the brief like 60-second description that you gave me before it's like I don't know how you go from that to Pepsi and vehicular manslaughter I will say I retract my my you know initial like after I watched the trailer I'm not going to lie I thought it was in intriguing enough to want to go see did you watch it I forgot about that yeah yeah no I've never seen it okay and y'all are the reason why and what's funny is you're the reason we went to go watch it the begin I know I know because K goes I was thinks this is going to be good and I was like really well see like I y'all remember that Nicholas Cage movie Next mhm that kind of reminded me of that and I enjoyed that movie so I mean I didn't like love it love it but like I enjoyed it it was a fun you know take on you know premonitions if they had made Superman lives it would still probably be better than Madam well oh my god do I I I still need to see some version of that movie like if I could just hop universes yeah the closest thing you're going to get is we might get the schacher cut yeah that odly enough that is the closest thing yeah I see your bookmark has moved over there there oh yeah yeah I see you're getting pretty close to the end oh well you know I yeah I think I only got yeah we're talking about uh Secret hisy by the way yeah you probably can't see it on the table over there I don't know if you guys can see it on camera or not it's it's a tiny book I'm actually going to start Saga tomorrow so this is going to be upcoming episode pretty soon very very nice yeah I'm almost done with this though and uh it is things have gotten intense so far in secret history uh a this is uh mbor is written by a man named oh I'm aware I've read the first three misb born books actually the first and and this one too right yeah I've even read this yeah he's actually read the first seven if you include this one so MH uh well he also wrote a book called white sand I don't know if you fam with that no I'm I'm familiar I have not read that one [ __ ] Noob [ __ ] [ __ ] Noob okay it's right here actually oh say white say guys yeah beautiful deluxe hard cover Edition we thought for a while this might be the only one I yeah for a while there seemed to be the only copy in existence uh but it is not it's not not anymore yeah not anymore that was one of those weird pandemic era things where mhm nothing could get made or or printed or or whatever the pandemic era was was rough not because of Co or anything like that but because like all the books that like I would typically pre-order I did and but then like think the world shut down and so oh well that sucks and then you know I look up one day and like my bank account is empty and I got like 18 boxes that I have to account for now [ __ ] ton of [ __ ] ton of com was flowing in I'm like hey I I got bored during the pandemic I I mean [ __ ] I mean I I started up a podcast during it rough times rough times yeah yeah uh man there was something else I wanted to uh to to roof on Dragon Con that is coming up that is yeah next week yeah we are we have five days yeah this time next week this will be my first I'm getting my my cherry pop for this yeah yeah y you are yeah yes yeah we about to pop his Cherry oh my gosh that's going to be a lot of fun oh yeah like uh I'm I'm very much looking forward to this like been hyping it up for over a decade for me so we stopped by the liquor store earlier went ahe the amount of that Caleb purchased was ridiculous no it wasn't I I mean it was a mere 31 bottles mere he says just to make sure everyone he's not an alcoholic they're tiny one so it's not as bad 30 of the 31 were small that's one of them was not no it's [ __ ] cute by the time you guys here on Umbrella Academy uh we almost likely be uh lit as [ __ ] at Dragon Con which I need to recover from having to watch that show so I did Pitch this to Caleb as we were discussing you know you know Dragon Con and prep and stuff like that I was like you know it would be kind of cool to do a live from Dragon Con podcast and you know I was telling him that uh there's actually like a podcast assembled Lost episode uh there is as a matter of fact it would be the the first assembled uh if it existed anywhere so uh the very first dra your very first Dragon Con which was 2018 2018 uh the homie Joe and myself and yourself uh we actually uh went down our top five this was like off the cuff right like we had no plans to do this we decided at the con to do it and we uh ran down our top five MCU characters at the time uh and we kind of like went around and C like everybody's number five everybody's number four so on and so forth and uh it was great content but we did it as a live stream and something happened to where the recording actually got messed up and we couldn't save the recording so the the people who tuned in to watch that live stream are the only people who have ever and will ever see that content that is awesome I think we should at least attempt to reenact that just saying oh yeah you know we can definitely do that I mean if we get time you know if we got time a place then uh I'm not opposed yeah yeah in between panels Raves and gaming yeah sure you know and the occasional hour of sleep yeah yeah yeah I mean you know two two or three two or three yeah just a few here there uh yeah that's definitely feasible um yeah [ __ ] I even got like a uh I got a portable mic a [ __ ] yeah yeah I have a tripod for my phone oh hell yeah so I mean I also I think I have a pretty decent you know travel mic too right the one that that yeah yeah yeah yeah very nice oh yeah I I have one laying around somewhere I think it's packed up but but yeah we could probably do something yeah we can make that work uh yeah we'll just get riggy riggity wrecked and then let's turn on the cameras Oh my God and just just uh let it flow yeah I can dig this oh hell yeah uh also this has been your first time what are you looking forward to the most uh I'm really really trying not to have expectations for this I did this with MomoCon and it I anything was exceeded everything was exceeded so uh but the big thing is I'm just excited to see the difference because I've only ever been to MomoCon so a lot of ass and titties too and you know what I I'm all for that yeah 100% so yes the the thing is like it's not that Dragon Con and uh before I I uh iterate this I'm not [ __ ] on on momon at all here I was accused uh on the forums uh of doing that earlier this year uh cuz I posted a meme and it was the uh it was the Wolverine meme where you got the picture oh yeah and uh he he's the the picture is the dra he the Dragon Con logo and I put the caption on it for when uh uh when you walk past your 900 generic anime character at moment and uh people were like I bet you won't post this in the momoon group I was like folks I put this in the dragon Kong group I'm not here to troll weebs I'm if I had been I would have put it in the mumo Kong group he is not afraid to do so yeah I'm not afraid to do so I don't know what they're talking about I was like I put it here just to let you guys know I was really missing Dragon Con that's it uh it's it it would be unfair to say that this is just a larger Momo con it it isar larger but it's not really that it's a very different thing this is more uh it it's not San Diego ComiCon per se although this year it could be I mean it's uh this is this year is massive as far as like the amount of stuff usually I have like four or five panels that's on my schedule that I really need to go to I usually put a bunch of [ __ ] on my schedule but I don't make it to half of it this year I'm like I guess I'm just going to have to like stuff some food in my back pocket and and eat while I walk uh cuzz my schedule's very packed and I intend to make it to almost all of that [ __ ] so like there is a lot of stuff that I I'm excited like I mean the one of the big things that I am excited about is the uh balers gate DND D panel like they're playing D and D live and I'm just excited to go see that I'm frustrated they're doing so much of that on Sunday I'm like that's supposed to be the cown yeah yeah like normally we we dip out usually around like 1 or 2:00 on Sunday I I will not be leaving early on Sunday at all it's going to be like late that night when I come home probably because there's just like so much on Sunday that I want to do the uh we were talking about secret history the cosm uh photo shoot is on Sunday this year uh so there there's a lot um I'm I'm really excited I'm I'm very excited for that uh there's just there's a lot going on you know um another thing I am excited for uh I know I don't know how many of our homie listeners would uh remember this show uh but there was a show in the early 2000s that I was very obsessed with that uh there are going to be at least three to four of the actors from it Heroes oh that's right uh Nathan Parkman and Isaac mendz are all going to be there hrg was going to be there but he backed out which that was the one I was most excited about I know uh but yeah I I mean I I've been waiting like damn near 10 years now for for John Bernthal to finally show up like he was supposed to uh is this like the the the Chris Jericho uh little bit uh the concert that was supposed to happen after that show yeah it's very much the same thing that that s down a crazy train of thoughts that I just said there cuz I was Kevin and I we were going to uh uh it was uh Chicago uh rizon it was basically the year of of the Daredevil like the whole dedova cashon crew were there bunch of The Walking Dead people were there but uh John bernth thought he didn't show but he was he was supposed to had other obligations and uh you know that that's whatever I'm not still thinking about it who cares but uh uh what got me thinking though was that um recently in the comic books uh Daredevil and Wolverine recently fought and uh and the internet has had a lot to say about it because there's like I haven't read it yet so I can't really say give my thoughts on but there's this one panel that keeps going around and it's of like Daredevil's in marog like he he's beat to [ __ ] he's cut up his suit is torn and he's standing there looking exhausted and he's like man I I'm I'm beaten up I'm exhausted I'm slowing down and he's healing and uh and a lot of people have been talking about it and I I was like well first of all how' y'all think this fight was going to go right I mean yeah like Dar was badass but yeah but and see and that part right there I wholeheartly agree with and then like I I got almost got offended but I couldn't I couldn't do anything about it because then the narrative started yeah dir was really cool is there any superhero he can beat and I was like yeah sure there is it's hard to think of something o i I found that to be a though because he's one of the most popular superheroes but uh yeah because I was like Mr Fant no actually no I don't think he can you know uh that is uh that's interesting I think he could beat [Music] Damian you always pick on on the 13y old boy I I think he can beat Jason also if that makes you feel better what about Dick Grayson saw always the fight okay yeah like come on like you know he will always side Dick Grayson you know that I don't think he could be I think he could be any of the other Robins he might be able yeah he might be able to I think he could fight Batman until Batman figured out the deal and then he' probably be [ __ ] I'm like Batman has like a little on his utility Bel yeah the little Sonic Gun he's going to be like this [ __ ] oh yeah I got you son and then you know he's going to walk over do I need to call you an ambulance and M going to be like just call my lawyer all I think we bullshitted enough dang man that is [ __ ] though yeah it is right it's incredibly [ __ ] C he could probably beat Captain Cold he could probably be citizen cold that that c gun is a [ __ ] though yeah yeah that's true you can't can't get shot by the cold G all right well we are here now for the spoiler Field section believe it or not we're talking about the crow in case you guys forgot I think Daredevil could be this version of The Crow oh 100% I'll be honest with you when he gets into the very first fight we're going in spoilers now by the way uh you've had time uh when he gets in the very first fight in this movie I was like does Bill scar guard know how to fight is this like a finnn Jones scenario I definitely feel that too cuz like oh my God like so and this I'm not going to give it too much away because we are going to review the original Crow but like Brandon Lee's Crow at least had a semblance of knowing how to fight before he became the crow it almost kind of made it seem like the like being attached to the crow taught him how to yeah and like this version when he comes back he's he's still he still Eric Draven like well no no no no hold up Eric Draven was never once [ __ ] said this in this version of of Eric is also just uh he's just very different what we're used to first of all like we can probably assume but we don't know for a fact that that Eric and shell were druggies uh um I mean we other than the fact that they were at rehab I'm not talking about I'm talking about in the original I was like no no like honestly I never once got that from the original as a matter of fact there's the one scene where he he you think he's going to kill this one woman who's I think with funboy but funboy yeah but instead he he doesn't kill her but he says pulls it out of her he pulls the heroin out of her Vans and goes you got you have a kid to take care of oh God what was it um that probably hurts yeah probably did God is the if you [ __ ] nerd God is the uh I believe it's the way his word is is God is the name on the lips of children that yeah that's what it was no no God is the name that children call Mother yeah something along those lines as he's literally pulling the heroin out of her veins yeah that [ __ ] was gnarly cuz she thought she was about to [ __ ] get wrecked oh yeah cuz what he did to fun boy [ __ ] anyway that we're not reviewing the OKO that's kind to hurt like a [ __ ] right because not only does it hurt but it's also pulling the heroin out of you yeah so you probably like get sober like instantly oh yeah she was oh she was but like and see that's another contradiction that really upset me like it that's the instance where it kind of stepped on my childhood was that it was very clear that Eric Draven and the OG was against that and this version of Eric is doing it but you know what and I know not really in the movie's defense but in the original did Eric do that because he was against drug use or did he do that because he was friends with that woman's daughter so in my personal opinion I never once got the feeling from Eric and Sh uh Shelly from the original that they were ever like that they were just people who were down on their luck living in a crappy neighborhood yeah but I always felt like even though he's a rock star I never felt like he was like a drugie yeah well in in in both movies defense uh you know I gotta say in 1994 The Straight Edge kids look like this and in 2024 the druggies look like this my God would you guys have scored this move any differently if like at the end of it you just come to find out he's died of like a heroin overdose yeah like the whole thing no I would hate it more actually any show the CW is very popular about doing this that uh makes you think that this is like all of the stuff that happened what didn't really happen yeah bothers the piss out of me like oh they wake up in a mental hospital and they show all the you know the the the comparisons to their life and the madeup world they made no [ __ ] that that is a cop out and I hate it I I actually so there is a ginv episode where they do that and it was so well done that I did not hate it uh which is saying something because I [ __ ] hated it in moonnight and like moonnight is a show where that Trope should happen right that's actually the one like I didn't hate was because it made sense for it to be there the only one that I well the one that I only one that I loved was in Batman they a made a series and is when he's living his life as Bruce way then he sees Batman come in and say he like what the [ __ ] and then he tries to get into the Batcave there was no Batcave and his caner alive and he's you know and he's got like a like a girlfriend or whatever and he's you know life is good but he's like this [ __ ] ain't right and then come to find out he he eventually snaps out of it it was the Mad Hatter trying to keep him sedated while he does Matt Hatter [ __ ] and and Matt Hat's like how the [ __ ] did you know that that was that that wasn't real he goes because when I'm by myself I'm not Bruce Wayne I'm Batman and he was like oh [ __ ] like well [ __ ] but that just that just fits so perfectly so that that least I'm not saying I love it in mood night I'm just saying like to it does make sense that's the one that makes the most sense yeah like I knew going into that I'm like they're going to do that this thing and they and they probably should and it's just a personal bias as to why I hate it but I I blame CW CW yes like running this Trope into the ground oh God it's so bad yeah yeah so let's talk about uh Eric and Shelly and their relationship Caleb I I'll be honest with you man like this [ __ ] don't expect to see this in the '94 no I was sitting there and I was like okay you know I've heard a uh a wide gamut of takes on the original like some people are obsessed with it like it's like you know if you ever met anybody where like Rocky Horror Picture Show is their favorite movie of all time I know people that feel that exact same way about this movie yeah same uh and I'm like okay and you know all the way to the other end of the spectrum where it's like eh if Brandon Lee hadn't died then nobody would care about this movie haven't seen the original I don't have an opinion I know that's probably that you're probably shocked uh I will develop one shortly trust me uh however um this whole section I was like is this how it goes I and then you know old dude's got a uh like a deal with the devil and [ __ ] we'll get into that but you know the thing I said I want to talk about about Shel character in this is like it's just very weird right that she goes from this situation where she's clearly running for her life we don't understand why we we kind of see the the horrific nature of the villain kind of reflected in the way they react right mhm um which I didn't think was a bad choice no it's not a bad choice like they're terrified of him and then when you finally meet him I mean obviously because of the dude that's playing him you're like this guy's the [ __ ] but you're like like you know he seems kind of like the sophisticated kind of villain or whatever and then you're like oh no this [ __ ] like made a deal with the devil okay uh all right all right we're going there but uh and that was kind of an interesting uh twist for someone like I said never seen the original it was a interesting tape for us too oh yeah we were like what yeah the [ __ ] like I was kind of hoping cuz I still hav't finished the you know the the choreographic novel um but I was hoping like maybe you could give me some insight on that but then when you came out and said I don't know where the [ __ ] that came from I'm like oh my God than that what the [ __ ] and know granted like it's been like a year since I read that book but I don't remember any of that like I feel like that'd be something that stands out yeah we don't get you know a specific like time frame here but the way the pacing in the movie makes it seem like it's like 72 hours yeah it's just like at one minute this chick is like r for her [ __ ] life gets arrested has time to like go to court and get sent to rehab because if they catch you with a bunch of [ __ ] drugs they don't just put you right in the rehab you're going to go to to to jail and get bonded out and have a court date and all of that [ __ ] it was just like no they was just like rehab also did anybody did anybody else feel it that rehab center was way too nice yeah and it was weird right like uh it it was just at first I thought it was a prison and and I was like ain't no prison ain't no [ __ ] prison you know what it reminded me of like the the the the like the kind of community where they put the the the clones for the island yeah they kind me of that [ __ ] I don't want to go to the island yeah it it was it was a super bizarre kind of facility right I didn't really know what to make of it yeah like and I mean it couldn't have been too long because when they escaped she still had her ey Shadow on uh I noticed this this is a thing that F out me I was like how did bit get do shadow in here in the prison here but uh uh yeah so it's like she goes from being terrified running for her life going to rehab and then just magically [ __ ] falls in love with this dude who's getting picked on not only by the inmates but also the guards the guards very quickly they effortlessly escaped like yeah he was just deciding to be here yeah I think the implication though was like he was already planning on leaving cuz he had the shiv in his hand or whatever the [ __ ] that was yeah um but at the like stab a [ __ ] that's you know like originally that's what I thought and then like oh maybe that's what it was for to cut the the the the ankle monitor whatever but also high-tech facility with ankle monitors probably make it out of material like is cut resistant at least at least for like that that cuz that came from a ra R blade you know yeah it was a razor blade yeah and so I'm like that was extremely easy yeah he cut both of them things off just like that and he's like yeah those windows up there take you out to the yard okay and there's like nobody out there patrolling nope they got razor wire though but like you know nobody's after them like they're already looking for you you know what I mean it isn't like they slipped out and then people were like hey have you seen these two people no no they were actively looking for you before you even escaped when then like it's just a a matter of so many conveniences like oh yeah it was def like they hitchhike not even a mile away from the the rehab facility in the rehab G and people like C in the back yeah I thought the exact same thing I was like first off how do you know that's not the [ __ ] chasing you right yeah that's right all they saw was headlights and they were like hey hey stop stop and they did and and they did and hopped in the that they just let him jump in the back of the truck and then they go back to not New York and they just happen to be going exactly to place where the characters live right and then they they were to go up to like the top floor of this like [ __ ] Penthouse and she she goes a friend of mine you know uh lives here but he's out the country right now whatever whatever I'm like but did you have a key like how the [ __ ] did you get in here yeah like the the the door people didn't stop you right and also you guys are walking in this busy City wearing jumpsuits basically yeah I think Draven had well he's not Draven Eric um had uh a T-shirt and some the sweatpants on it it was ridiculous also they look rough when they walked into that place that is a very fancy hotel they walked into they would have definitely [ __ ] stopped them they would have profiled the [ __ ] out of oh yeah 100% these are like a couple druggies 100 yes not men I mean he walked in there looking like Machine Gun Kelly and [ __ ] oh my God he did it also bother anybody else that they took every opportunity to show scars guard without his shirt oh yeah it was kind of ridiculous I mean it was it was gratuitous other than with stellin they pretty much do that with all of them though yeah yeah yeah but yeah I'm just saying like and and you you hit the nail on the head earlier when you described him as um Jared Leto's Joker meets um um attack of the Clones Anakin attack of the Clones Anakin like yeah it like they definitely took that model from Joker and which why yeah I don't understand the strange mullet thing that he had bothered the piss out of me I would have been more accepting if he had no hair there are scenes in this movie right where it kind of looks like Hayden Christensen died and they like cged his likeness on to this point right oh my God and like they gave him post Malon uh tattoos and [ __ ] bro yeah did an AI write this in yes wow and also like what strange design choices what the [ __ ] was up with the horse in the beginning I don't know why that was there like they they acted like they were going to make a big deal about the the the hand scars like from the barbwire which that also didn't make any sense cuz like the horse was wrapped up in it right and he and and so the tension was pulling it into the horse he pulls it back like this and then you hear a snap and then he he has the scars across his hands that doesn't work like the only way that anything could happen is if he had pulled it back and it had maybe broke which that [ __ ] is tough it's very hard for for and like like what a seven eight-year-old not have done that but that wouldn't happen if he had a scars guard no no the [ __ ] out I'm quoting Kevin here go to bed oh [ __ ] y'all that was funny no no we'll let the people decide write us or comment on social media let us know if you thought that [ __ ] was funny yeah that was hilarious get scar I know no we get it we get it his name I understand okay and then he had scars on his hand uh-huh and if you had a guard you could stop you know what's really crazy about that too is like they made such a big deal out of that whole scene which didn't make any sense from a physics perspective but every time they showed his hands he never had the scars on him I seen him at the once like after that cuz I I kept looking for the [ __ ] yeah but also like it really didn't truly explain like why they try to make it tie into the villain but it still didn't add up did it really they yeah cuz he his hand in the beginning and he's bleeding and he puts his hand o over the horse of like one of his bleeding orifices the same way that like the villain kept cutting his oh yeah but like I that was such a stretch I yeah I don't like I didn't even catch that like it was just there was none none of it made any sense like also how did he end up in the uh the rehab some did they actually say we get nothing from his backstory at all other than a horse yeah and and then like there's a flashback where we see his childhood house on fire for like a split second do it we don't know we know nothing John Snow John SN John SN I just got done watching that oh my God Johnn John SN do you know my name is snow mother snow oh yeah any who yeah that none of that [ __ ] really made sense yeah like this whole opening it it got to the point where this movie has and this is coming from me of all people this movie has no idea how to do romance no I agree Yeah well yeah I definitely agree as well um that's very insightful of you yeah that usually goes over your head a little bit we were just talking about uh we were just talking about crazy Rich Asians on here the other day randomly say what crazy Rich Asians it's my favorite romcom it's like the only romcom I like you think was being racist no I did that on here the other day too inadvertently twice one of them yeah for one of them it was bad I confused two Asian people and also two africanamerican people in the same episode he did and you didn't punch him good time just I mean Kevin also confused zazi beast and Zena and I I'll never let him live that down and both of those were like way worse than the ones I messed up cuz these were at least close I could pick those two out at like 2,000 yards like oh but I I agree with you like this this movie has no idea what they were doing with the romance like like we said earlier it's like the like a 12-year-old who just you know hit puberty wrote a love story and because of the pce was so bad how long were they a couple I we don't know 72 hours um it could have been 72 hours it could have been 6 months we don't know we don't know oh God long enough okay have you ever had [ __ ] good enough so that you like man I die for this [ __ ] and then you do and then you're like man come back to life for that [ __ ] and then you do man I'll Make A Deal With the Devil for that [ __ ] all over the course of like a week I never had that I ain't never had none that good also and this this may be just me but like I really didn't feel a connection between the two characters I know like it just fell very flat like maybe it's just the the dialogue maybe it was their acting I don't know it just they never had any natural moments together they kept trying to well let's have them physical contact all all the time oh yeah just because they [ __ ] or touching each other that means they're together and they're happy and love each other yeah I would say the I think the only chemistry I ever felt in the entire movie was probably between was it Sadie the the chick he kills her friend is that stie s Sadie and the villain yeah that that is the closest thing to like any kind of in y like their scene together was was great yeah yeah and this where it enters the strange devil power yeah so imagine our surprise yeah like I know like this is a supernatural style story which a dude coming back from the dead basically an undead zombie who's got a crow that keeps him alive kills the people who killed him and uh raped and murdered his girlfriend we need to talk about that there there is no rape and it's like I know the on the face of it that sounds awful that I'm upset that there's no rape but hear me out yeah less rape usually tends to be the ideal situation typically right but the uh the the the death of Eric and uh [ __ ] uh I sh uh was so Bland in this I I felt the [ __ ] same like yes it was very it could be traumatic but I guess maybe we're a little tainted because of the original was like [ __ ] and and to put it I mean there's no other way to put it but like the 94 was way more viseral and that was calm compared to the comic book yeah and like having not being familiar with the original movie or the comics I thought that it was pretty nuts like I mean it was obviously pretty awful right like he had to watch her suffocate while he was suffocating blah blah blah I mean it's a bad way to go but once again never I have no point of reference for any of the so and and again this I mean it may just be you know the Nostalgia talking or whatever but like and no I obviously do not condone you know that being on screen but the whole purpose of a person coming back as the crow is experience something so horrific yeah that they are they can't let go I kind of felt like this death scene for them wasn't that horrific it was just yes it was murder and yes they did suffocate bro th this is how non this is how like common that situation could have been after they suffocated those two they just could have put heroin tracks in each of their arms and just love it at that no one would have no one would have questioned anything no no one would have question that [ __ ] which it kind of seemed like the cops are under their thumb anyway that was also weird because like Ernie Hudson placed the cop in in 94 oh yeah and he's one of the um he's one of the main characters he is as as a good guy good guy good guy but this guy he's just like a weird kind of lacky he's the first kill yeah after the awkward kill yeah I mean the this was that that was the fight where I was like does scars guard know how to fight like not not not the character but like does scars guard know fight but no the the character definitely like you get the idea this [ __ ] never been in a fight before because he's armed like so like the cop shoots him and then he knocks the gun out of his hand and then at this point he's armed with the knife and is a a healing zombie and he's still losing this fight for several minutes after that oh God I just I'll piece some stuff together I don't think I like they they the first the first scene you see Eric in he's in the uh The Institute or wherever the the rehab center and he's being picked on by a lot of the inmates right and he is literally cowering up against the wall not responding and I think that's what they were trying to slow build for him to made him a [ __ ] they made him a [ __ ] so he could have overcome that bitchess when he becomes the crow but see that's the problem with that is that's not the point of this movie to give this movie a small prop a small Pro that [ __ ] was wicked as hell when you see him push the guts back in his body oh yeah that that was some definite like you know Claire putting her [ __ ] ribs back in yeah like that oh when he popped his knee oh God they did get that visual going the the visual effects of him healing was that is a that is a pro for me like they did a good job with that yeah because when you first see him healing like you know and this is one of those things where you know we've seen a a thousand like Wolverine heel scenes in the movies at this point you it it's completely lost at this point that like that [ __ ] all hurts him or that the claws hurt them every time they come out or any of that [ __ ] because right by now you know we're in the the 37th Hugh Jackman movie and they got to get the slow closeup on the claws coming out all nice and slow gets their dicks hard like soaking wet right now yeah exactly I mean so you know I like that was one thing I did appreciate is like the the healing factor that he has that [ __ ] is not fun oh no like it is definitely like that it's just very gritty like he feels like you you actually even see he feels every bit of it even in the end like you can see him still reacting to it see that's the thing though is like by the end of the movie I thought they basically dropped it because at the end of the opera scene he's just kind of walking up the steps while they casually shoot him uh to give the movie some kind of bail as flimsy as it is I think the the idea there was that he was so focused now on his mission that he didn't give a [ __ ] that that that's fair and also that and and maybe they did this intentionally or not but it was also a kind of a nod to the OG movie because he does that at one point yeah uh it's when he breaks and the tables big table which matter incidentally enough that is where Brandon Lee died I thought that was the scene I couldn't tell for sure yeah yeah yeah Dam sorry Downer a little bit bit so uh I'm not like a 100% clear on that was that a that uh uh a scene uh where like the prop gun went off is that what happened yeah cuz I know it came up a lot when the Alec Ballwin thing happened right yeah uh the the prop gun it work properly and back then you know they they use blanks right and even then that's still super [ __ ] dangerous right yeah but yeah the blank hit them screw on and that it killed him yeah I mean that there's no excuse in the use live weapons on set in this day and age like put the [ __ ] put all that [ __ ] in and post you know yeah yeah give them water guns there's so many convincing plastic guns that they they have no practicality whatsoever right you know what I mean oh man like I mean like hell you know we talking about John Wick like those movies don't use like like all the the [ __ ] muscle flashes you see that's all done in post like there's there's nothing going on with those right and so it's it's just weird that that [ __ ] still happened today with the Alec B yeah I mean uh you know it's really no fault of his whatsoever but like the production people in that movie like obviously was sloppy yeah I mean especially when like all the facts started coming out and everything and like you know uh they were like the guns were supposed to be checked every every scene basically there was just ammo live and blinks just lying around yeah like why would there be any live ammo on the set at all for any reason yeah like at most a replica live ammo like make it look real if you needed a set for a shot or something but don't actually put live ammo anywhere near it right yeah I mean it it's crazy that the Brandon Lee H thing happened in 94 yeah and in what that was 2022 when that [ __ ] happened 22 or 23 yeah yeah like very recently like we're still taking stupid Chances with things like that oh yeah that's Christopher Nolan set off a [ __ ] bomb and he would do some [ __ ] like that he he set off a bomb flipped a 18-wheeler and crashed a plane and still would not use live guns on his set I mean [ __ ] Michael Bay he had two Transformers fighting each other and there were no actual counsil tees in reality I pretty sure all that is what I think it's all it's all done uh I mean it's like I just that [ __ ] just blows my mind cuz I'm like is that right mean there goes [ __ ] Optimus Prime right there and that's [ __ ] Megatron and I guess the money was good cuz they and yeah nobody's ever died on that ride at Universal that's true and I've been on that sh and they was like tossing me around during the fight me too like yo so we're talking about the crow and optim is like we've never faced a thing like this before he said you to yeah oh [ __ ] yeah that is wow God damn how is the guest trying to Wrangle this back into come on now guys okay uh yeah we'll get off on a tangent what were we talking about the crow the crow I'm actually going to be in the same building as Peter colen tomorrow oh [ __ ] random fact yeah that's that's cool as [ __ ] yeah yeah I'm going to be at soda City Comic Con he's going to be there you should take Brandon with you he's actually ALS he already going to be there he's not riding with me cuz you know cuz phones cuz phones okay um yeah the uh the [ __ ] pacing I still can't get over how atrocious that was it really like it it it was it was a combination of bad right because the pacing was so bad that when he actually I want I want to Pivot real quick we'll come back to this what was up with the pseudo spiritual guide guy well yeah like that what where did that limbo area first off come from cuz that all right so in the the the comic and in the movie the original movie he gets tossed out of [ __ ] window then wakes up a year later is it a year or two two it's a year yeah a year later crawling out of his grave this [ __ ] where he's like put into like this strange limbo s Crossroads thing MH where the crows are and this random you know [ __ ] who's like hey Spirit God here you should go kill people I'm like bro who are you it's like I I kind of understand I I think what they were trying to do because in in the comic books only Eric Draven can see that Crow well only the crow can see yeah the actual Crow so it's not like a real physical Crow there it's something that he sees in his Mind's Eye and The Crow acts the same way that like the clown does for spawn gotta where it's like he's leading you but sometimes he's kind of being an [ __ ] to you as well oh yeah he's trying to also guide you because the whole concept of this is it's very it's a very neutral in entity like the crow is not here about what's good and what's evil it's giving you the opportunity to take revenge on the people who hurt you right I thought that they should have got Morgan Freeman or Vincent denafo on like which end of the spectrum you want take go magical mystical negro rout right or or if they want to go like uh this is definitely a [ __ ] you probably should not trust you know you can't put Vincent Denario and Danny Huston in the same movie that's true that's true yeah that's true uh also when they had the scene where like the all the crows like started surrounding them you know exactly I was like if this [ __ ] hits a crom oh my God I'm going to leave this theater 10 out of 10 oh God all they had to do yeah like oh God you know they saw morbius and they were like a we were going to do that don't don't yeah it's bad oh but yeah like like the way they did the Crow's Powers really was weird like you don't see anything except for the healing Factor the healing that's all you see right like it was just it like so I guess it was more of like it almost like he had to earn the healing a little bit at first okay that's the other weird thing about it right he goes to this weird caretaker guy and he's like you've been blessed with you know blah blah blah Powers but then he gets sent back again and then it's like all right for real this time and what was with the the Rukia from [ __ ] bleach punching him into another dimension thing it happened three times the second time it happened I was like dog that hasn't be easy way for you to send me back if you if you don't quit knocking me off these platforms and [ __ ] see it it could have been a funny gag if like every time he gets hit with something that should kill him he just keeps going back that be like but like I would really hate that even more but uh but at least then I would probably would have got a chuckle out what I'm saying yeah I would chuckled at that and then we just get a montage of like him trying to keep killing the main villain but he keeps getting [ __ ] up it's like yeah um you know we were going to let you go back and get revenge and then like y'all both could come back to life but your love had to remain pure AKA this [ __ ] can just hide anything she's done from you and that's pure right and then as soon as you find out and you're like I wonder why she murdered this person then all of a sudden it's like well now you got to trade cuz and and also since since he sent the villain to Hell shouldn't that count as like a soul for a soul you know cuz that's kind I thought they were going to do it but then he's kind of stuck in purgatory which purg Purgatory being a gry train station I mean yeah I mean that Purgatory would have be Burgatory God damn they're all the crows oh you know what I just put it together this is this is oh no bear with me here oh he bear with me here I haven't done that in a while all right so listen uh I know you guys haven't you guys haven't watched Yellowstone right no Danny you have oh so so you know Danny hust is in the show right and then Yellowstone take him to the train station is a euphemism for murdering them so that's what they're talking about here is is it's a crossover see when they say take them to the train station they're talking about this grungy training station cuz they're going to kill him they're going to kill him and Danny H's character must have made a deal with the devil to not die and then he's this dude so it's the same universe it's the same universe yeah I hate you yeah no I mean yellow cro as bear with me here as go that was pretty tame it was there was only one jump yeah yeah I don't like yeah the whole Purgatory thing also we didn't really we we've kind of talked around it a little bit but we've never really dove into the fucker's power like the the main villain's ability first off and again no major spoiler like if you haven't seen it in last 30 years this is on you um there is no villain that has superpowers that fights the crow like this is legitimately a Revenge Story I mean there might be in like books two or three but man I know for a fact in book one with Eric Draven there's no yeah like it it like this whole ability that he has is that he can like whisper in their ear some strange infernal language he has Allison harrie's power yeah sort just he has to say it in uh infernal yeah 100% and and and yeah like and again I will give uh home the the the actor playing it like he did that whole weird head thing when he did it was pretty cool like don't wrong I didn't hate the ability I just thought it was very poorly executed and it's like he has to send a certain number of souls to hell that weren't going to go there before as part of his way to stay alive and Caleb and I were talking about this on the way up here was like I feel that you know demons and Devils typically are from the the Christian mythology and um Mosaic mythology yeah yeah yeah you know what I mean uh but it's it's more of like that whole um I don't think that's how you know Souls work like you can't just give an innocent soul to the devil can you well I I mean I think in this this instance yeah because uh well like it seems like most of the time he makes them kill themselves and there are certain aspects of the Christian religion that think that that's an unforgivable sin so that's true and maybe we just didn't get enough context of them him just being that manipulator corrupt their souls maybe that's what maybe that's what it is like everything else in the movie they just like hey this dude has this power byebye and then yeah it was like they like they tried to not like they tried to create a movie that has smart fans except for they confuse the fans yeah don't think about it Morty yeah and like it's it's so much less effective in this movie where it could have been something cool to have like the crow face this guy who also has weird ambiguous Powers but it doesn't amount to anything here doesn't whereas you know you look at the original and it's like you know he thinks this job is done and and so because of that no more Crow powers and he learns that [ __ ] the hard way and then he goes to the final fight and then like now there's Stakes because it's just dude versus kind of zombie dude kind of zombie dude yeah not even full zombie dude at that point yeah I mean at this point like once the the we kicked the Final Act into motion right where you know he makes this deal of like he'll go to the to hell or whatever if she gets to come back we know he's Immortal basically at this point there there's really no Stakes it plays out exactly like that there's no twist no anything and you could tell that all of the big plot beats where they just like expected you to feel this big emotion they all feel flat like when you know he has that amazing scene where we talking about at the opera house where he's fighting through while the Opera is going on this was very well shot I thought well choreographed it's not the best I've ever seen but I mean it's not it's far from the worst I mean it's above oper music [ __ ] that whole scene up for me I mean they were at an opera I understand that but it it just didn't fit right and it bothered me see I didn't I didn't mind it but uh you know but the thing is when he gets to the top and kills the lady's husband which is the one that actually murdered the girl uh this is pretty anticlimactic and then when he actually gets to her you're kind of expecting him to have this they they acted like they they kind of wanted them to have that kind of V for Vendetta kind of moment um there's one of the kills in VOR Vendetta where he gets there and the person's actually kind of remorseful you know but he kills him anyway it's like they were going for that but it just Falls flat as [ __ ] and then the movie Never picks up again after that I mean when he gets to the final fight when he walks in there it's just like is this dude going to whip out some crazy demonic [ __ ] and they're going to have this crazy fight no they don't uh he it they leave this very open interpretation it's almost like the villain steals his Purgatory power and so that's where they end up and then it's almost like a like a doctor strange mirror Dimension type thing where he's like this is the crow Dimension and I I can beat you here and then they have a fight in a mud puddle y um fight in a mud puddle which I mean that had some creepy little lizard things in there too if you're fighting uh brce Willis's character from unbreakable you know it makes sense yeah uh this is like the one place you can beat him yep but uh uh you know and then like he just pushes them like the demons I guess take them like none of the none of this final fight did anything for me and where was the guardian of that place yeah like he during that he was working as an EMT he had a nino5 course yeah yeah I mean you got to you got to maintain the weird bizarre Purgatory training station somehow oh yeah so I wonder because I'm I'm just trying to draw connection where there probably is number there should be all I'm saying is that he's the EMT and so is madam wellb like there's some kind of I never saw this guy hit anybody with a car that's true Dam oh [ __ ] unless he was driving that semi unless he was driving the semi he could have been he could have been yeah yeah that that that [ __ ] looked awful oh yeah oh yeah yeah but even that like yeah what was up with the the Deadpool car fight I I didn't mind the car fight I I mean it wasn't bad it just it was very much like okay it kind of feel like you're he didn't have a plan at all uh-uh and that made sense right like his power is that he Mega heels or whatever so he just like literally throws himself at it but like I like the suspense of like he's after her and like they're trying to get her like away from him inside the car and everything that was cool until he starts to fight the dude in the back seat and like they [ __ ] Telegraph him being knocked out of the car about a minute before it happens and I'm like this would have been so much more impactful as if like the dude had just kicked him and the door had opened and he'd went right out that would been dop everybody would have been like oh [ __ ] but because they had him hanging half out of the car for 30 seconds you're like okay well they're going to kick him out of the car car's going to hit him and then that's going to be the end of it and that's exactly what happen also you're in the middle of a pretty big fight also the [ __ ] who killed your girl you're fighting in in a [ __ ] car you stop to turn around to try to kill the one the woman behind you while this [ __ ] shooting you there was a good like a good five seconds of that I'm like why I also wonder why when they saw this poor kid get tossed from a moving SUV gets hit by buy a car no one stops no the the the semi- driver definitely did not stop he slow down he's like up I'm and like and not a single person after that stops they just watch watch him stand up and walk down the road as he pops his leg back in yeah that's definitely a crackhead I'll be honest if I saw this [ __ ] I probably wouldn't stop no don't like also I'll give them the nod to this like I didn't hate the paint the face paint I didn't like I wanted to but I didn't like it actually kind of fit yeah it was fine it was fine and I did like the wear and tear on the jacket through the fights like that I will give him that too the face paint looked better than his normal face so God damn damn do uh cold bloody yeah that was cold blooded as [ __ ] uh yes so we still have no idea who or what the the the mystical magical ambiguous race dude was train train the train keeper yeah uh he was just there uh and again I think he just took the role of like what the crow was supposed to be yeah yeah he was expositing yeah yeah he was the exposition for the crows right he's like I'm going to exposit now I'm like I I would be like dude what do you do when I'm not here like what's your normal day he stands around ominously there there was a little similarity that I did notice that I mean uh this version of The Crow did not pull off as well in my opinion but the OG Crow when he was in his kill mode he was playful oh yeah he had a sense of humor oh he had a sense of humor he he hung up upside down uh what was it um fun boy was it fun boy he was like just dangling of like there's this that that creepy almost psychotic factor to him right there was a few moments where I saw it kind of peeking through with scars guard's performance but it never fully hit it was like when he was sitting next to uh after he finally became the crow and he's sitting down his best friend's got his eye eyeball shot through he takes his cigarette or whatever the [ __ ] you're smoking and puts it in the other dead guy's mouth he like hold this that's the only time you see it though only time you see it other than that he's just murderous eore yeah yeah why is that so accurate uh there was uh one part that I did enjoy with his performance as once he became the crow it was during the um uh opera house it was like it was towards the top right right when he comes up to fight um chick's husband or whatever like there was that you know he stops at the Ed the the edge of the hall turns and like he just kind of does this weird like side step in oh yeah I was like that's that kind of made me feel like oh this is the crow but what was up with the samurai sword I thought the sword was dope I mean it was definitely to great effect I mean it did okay I was just like he never used the sword I wasn't mad that he used a different weapon I mean he would he want to use another shotgun speaking of that scene where his uh with his friend or whatever the one they got shot in the eye yeah as soon as those dudes came in the room I was like that guy is [ __ ] oh yeah I was like cuz I was like cuz these two dudes are bad guys and your buddy here can heal I was like but you don't have [ __ ] you're about to get [ __ ] killed yeah and it was very much like oh I just shot Melvin in the face uh so let's talk about this and there's no around this there another 30y old spoiler for you Caleb but shy doesn't come back no she doesn't like no so that that whole deal of y'all being able to come back if you kill everybody or she can come back if you trade your soul not a thing like this is a pure Revenge story pure Revenge nothing more nothing less there there's no if I if I can do this right I can trade myself for her no none of that no again kill them that might be an imation for like one of the other crows but nothing with Eric D yeah well it it just kind of it's like we we talk about it here all the time that there's this overwhelming I guess just motive or desire in Hollywood to you know when when a villain gets popular all of a sudden they want to make them you know a baby face essentially they want to make them you know freaking white bread goody goodie whatever and it's the same thing with your antiheroes right where it's just like oh you know well it's got to be to bring her back to life he can't just be out here killing these people cuz he's pissed you know it's like no that's the story that's the story like he's brought back so he can kill these [ __ ] period yeah I mean uh like I I cannot wait to see what Disney does with the Punisher and I and I I mean that sarcastically oh because there's no way don't tell me that I didn't even hear this news yet oh oh that's official yeah he's in born again he's in the new daredevil show yeah John Bernthal all the Netflix stuff is Cannon so okay yeah except for Finn Jones I have a feeling like he's going to get [ __ ] redon but I mean with the dirt over show like they're uh I mean like the even the villain they're using his name is Muse and he's he's dark as [ __ ] like carves up bodies and leaves them imp poses and [ __ ] I I think they are going to go super dark with born again uh especially with Deadpool and Wolverine doing what it the numbers it's doing uh but I I don't I have a hard time thinking we're ever going to get a Punisher show this rated R where we just see him going through doing Punisher [ __ ] murdering police and [ __ ] like that uh I just I have a hard time thinking that that's going to be on the front of Disney plus you know speaking of dark [ __ ] up characters uh and this is a mild spoiler for you know the the OG one um I kind of miss the the the the creepy main bad guy from the original movie man yeah that [ __ ] was was so confident you know in himself he he was creepy but yeah he was him and his sister was that his sister that's what they said in the movie that they were siblings yes they were siblings that makes it so much creepier yes it does that that is what he they said like like it could have been implied that you know step siblings cuz she's was she Asian she's clearly Asian yeah he might have have a little Asian descent in him though like you can kind of see it in his face a little bit but it could have been step siblings or you know half siblings whatever that was that was way too sensual for that to be I mean you know Game of Thrones has done worse yeah facts big facts but I just remember that scene where she plucks out that that dead bitch's eye and like kind of eats it right yeah and that's the other thing man this movie didn't have any of the fun henchmen right like I was hoping for some tin some uh t- bird T Bird funy fun booy what was the the tomt right is it tomt pretty sure yeah the the the the annoying little weasel one the one that you know runs from you like the final one he kills out ofion pretty sure that was Tom time yeah okay but uh no Devil's KN yeah no [ __ ] devil's night man uh yeah so you know it's really quick here just going back to like the death scene for for Shelly and and Eric uh first of all all that [ __ ] was confusing like when he wakes up and then he's like uh did he make it and then like okay no he's dead no well no way he made it no he's dead and he was supposed to be confused but I was like are we supposed to be so confused yeah like there should be some sort of like we should know what's going on he can be confused we don't need to be right at least not to that degree but uh a little bit of a fun fun comic look for you so in the comics the way that the death happens is uh she well Shelly she she's taken and and and assaulted by the gang and then and then you know she she's about to be uh then she's being beaten and about to be killed uh Draven he is beaten and then he's shot in the head uh but he's not dead yet he's actually it leaves him paralyzed but he still conscious and so he just has to sit there lay there and watch as she's being brutalized and uh and then she's killed but he lives and he's the one who's taken up to the hospital and who dies later oh okay yeah yeah uh yeah it was uh yeah it's pretty [ __ ] up [ __ ] um I I think that version of of Draven would have loved to have been suffocated right right yeah uh like the the mo the OG movie version they just kind of Chuck him out of window out window which is you know like he gets stabbed he gets a knife throw in his chest yeah and then chunked out of window yeah still not fun no especially like man imagine coming home walking up all those stairs and then you get tossed out oh yeah top floor top floor um and also we don't get a cool ass SC like I I I saw they tried to do a little bit of their Loft a little bit you know that little oh yeah was like it almost G it was like okay they're going to give us a little bit of the OG but still no no guitar solo no guitar oh man if only Joel schacher was alive to direct this bro bro there would have been so many ass shots too yeah there would have been so many ass shots uh all the there a lot of ass shots in this movie though instead of the Clean Cut uh CW guys it would have all been gangsters with like neon [ __ ] oh yeah Joe Shar be like oh this is a fictional sh City I can do whatever I want oh yes how about a couple of like neon biker gangs and they be like okay yeah I mean you think you think that'll work for the aesthetic absolutely yeah oh [ __ ] uh do we have anything else want to say about 2024's Crow I hat re I just hate hate the music uh what do you guys want to see in the sequel uh I want to see that have decided not to make one and after I mean the fact that you put that thought in my head I hate you for it uh yeah I was I was looking up like while the final fight was going on I was like oh well this is the end I was like I was Googling whether there was an after credit scene it was very pleased to see that there wasn't um I I think that they probably just put this out because they were too far along with it not to and had spent $50 million on it um it's not not going to bomb as hard as Borderlands but it is going to be like the second biggest bomb of the Year probably uh what what studio put this out uh lion gate oh okay I only know that because they they did their little cool ass barbwire intro you know they do and I was like you know any of the Saw movies are probably better than what I'm about to watch and uh I did make the the fun joke of oh mechanist yeah Caleb goes gear maze yeah we're in the gear maze which is honestly probably better than this movie there's so many things you could say though that that would apply to yeah you know yeah I mean uh like like I said though you know it's probably good that that we just reviewed Umbrella Academy because my my you are a lot more chill with this one honestly like oh if you if you listen to that review I was Full Tilt on um it was scathing I had to be good I still haven't even watched it yet like I I want to because I'm a fan of the show but I I was like Kevin reviewing uh [ __ ] love and thunder like oh no or or uh or really you know uh any of the Captain Marvel stuff any of that it's it's always a fun time when like I get to be good cop and and try to find some some glimmer of hope you know I was messaging him after every episode like bro I don't know if I can like this is awful like I I was going to watch another episode tonight but I I can't do it to myself I got to go to bed I can't the best part for me was I I watched like the episodes five and six and then I was like oh he's gonna hate this that's amazing the only thing I've ever rated lower than that season was Dune 884 what about the holiday special no I think I gave the holiday special like a three oh what you give Umbrella Academy 2.5 that's right yeah that's like getting credit for spelling your name right on the test and the only reason d84 got a one and not a zero is because Patrick Stewart is in it and I literally couldn't I I couldn't you know and he had hair in that movie didn't he he did it was weird it was weird it was like seeing uh freaking uh Wade Wilson with the two-e St there's a difference though he intentionally made that unsettling he was also carrying a pug he was scared that was the ugliest oh don't be hating on that puppy well I mean yes yeah all right well uh I think that we have uh ranted and raved enough about this instant classic of a remake you can stop that uh you know the uh the original director the guy who did the first Crow he also did like iroot uh he did did a couple of other movies that I thought were actually pretty decent M and then we get this guy here who's like does glorified Movie videos music videos but yeah uh with crappy music I like know yeah this has been an experience and uh I'm so glad that I rushed to get off work and go straight to the theater to watch this instead of alien ramulus which would have been such a better movie you're going to have to come in and review something enjoyable with us eventually yeah yeah maybe alien Romulus you were there for Deadpool Wolverine I was I you on the review for that yeah it was oh okay yeah it was the three of us in Kevin y right right so yeah I mean you know that's still only one amongst many alien ramulus uh I haven't had any spoilers but I have heard divisive things about the finish so we'll we'll see they only remember the finish the finish uh but yeah uh and also you know uh the next throwback uh my pick is uh Big Trouble in Little China so something I haven't seen since I was a kid I've never seen it so oh but I I will not be on for that one I will not be returning to the throwback series until Brendan's pick which is the 86 I think this Transformers yeah I didn't even realize there was an 86 Transformer movie it's about these robots in the oh I'm I'm I'm aware of what Transformers are yeah they turn into like trucks and cars they're they're more than me yeah well that's going to be all for this one and we're going to catch Oz up on what Transformers are yeah after this movie and by the way Michael Bay used live Transformers in his movies and no one got hurt but it's going to be all for this one this has been another amazing episode of the superhero homies podcast so glad you homies stuck around and listened to us bull [ __ ] and ramble we had a blast and hopefully you guys did as well that is all for now but until next time my name is superhero homie Q I am Superhero homie Oz and I'm superhero homie Caleb