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Chapter 29 David Copperfield by Charles Dickens chapter 29 I visit steerforth at his home again I mentioned to Mr speno in the morning that I wanted leave of absence for a short time and as I was not in the receipt of any salary and consequently was not obnoxious to the implacable jkin there was no difficulty about it I took that opportunity with my voice sticking in my throat and my sight failing as I uttered the words to express my hope that Miss spender was quite well to which Mr spender replied with no more emotion than if he had been speaking of an ordinary human being that he was much obliged to me and she was very well we articled clerks as germs of the Patrician order of Proctors were treated with so much consideration that I was almost my own Master at all times as I did not care however to get to Highgate before 1 or 2:00 in the day and as we had another little excommunication case in court that morning which was called the office of the judge promoted by tipin against bulock for his Soul's correction I passed an hour or two in attendance on it with Mr spenlow very agreeably it arose out of a scuffle between two Church wardens one of whom was alleged to have pushed the other against a pump the handle of which pump projecting into a Schoolhouse which Schoolhouse was under a Gable of the church roof made the push an ecclesiastical offense it was an amusing case and sent me up to Highgate on the box of the stage coach thinking about the commons and what Mr speno had said about touching the commons and bringing down the country Mrs steerforth was pleased to see me and so with was Rosa dartle I was agreeably surprised to find that littimer was not there and that we were attended by a modest little parlor maid with blue ribbons in her cap whose eye it was much more pleasant and much less disconcerting to catch by accident than the eye of that respectable man but what I particularly observed before I had been half an hour in the house was the close and attentive watch Miss dartle kept upon me and the lurking manner in which she seemed to compare my face with steer forths and steer forths with mine and to lie and wait for something to come out between the two so surely as I look towards her did I see that eager Visage with its gaunt black eyes and searching brow intent on mine or passing suddenly from M to steerforth or comprehending both of us at once in this links like scrutiny she was so far from faltering when she saw I observed it that at such a time she only fixed her piercing look upon me with a more intent expression still blameless as I was and knew that I was in reference to any wrong she could possibly suspect me of I shrunk before her strange eyes qu quite unable to endure their hungry luster all day she seemed to pervade the whole house if I talked to steerforth in his room I heard her dress russle in the little Gallery outside when he and I engaged in some of our old exercises on the lawn behind the house I saw her face passed from window to window like a Wandering light until it fixed itself in one and watched us when we all four went out walking in the afternoon she closed her thin hand on my arm like a spring to keep me back while steerforth and his mother mother went on out of hearing and then spoke to me you have been a long time she said without coming here is your profession really so engaging and interesting as to absorb your whole attention I ask because I always want to be informed when I am ignorant is it really though I replied that I liked it well enough but that I certainly could not claim so much for it oh I am glad to know that because I always like to be put right when I am wrong said Rosa dartle you mean it is a little dry perhaps well I replied perhaps it was a little dry oh and that's a reason why you want relief and change excitement and all that said she ah very true but isn't it a little eh for him I don't mean you a quick glance of her eye towards the spot where steerforth was walking with his mother leaning on his arm showed me whom she meant but beyond that I was quite lost and I look so I have no doubt don't it I don't say that it does mind I want to know don't it rather engross him don't it make him perhaps a little more remiss than usual in his visits to his blindly doting with another quick glance at them and such a glance at me as seemed to look into my innermost thoughts Miss dartle I returned pray do not think I don't she said oh dear me don't suppose that I think anything I am not not suspicious I only ask a question I don't State any opinion I want to found an opinion on what you tell me then it's not so well I am very glad to know it it certainly is not the fact said I perplexed that I am accountable for steer forth's having been away from home longer than usual if he has been which I really don't know at this moment unless I understand it from you I have not seen him this long while until last night no indeed Miss dartle no as she looked full at me I saw her face grow sharper and paler and the marks of the old wound lengthen out until it cut through the disfigured lip and deep into The Nether lip and slanted down the face there was something positively awful to me in this and in the brightness of her eyes as she said looking fixedly at me what is he doing I repeated the words more to myself than her being so amazed what is he doing she said with an eagerness that seemed enough to consume her like a fire in what is that man assisting him who never looks at me without an inscrutable falsehood in his eyes if you are honorable and faithful I don't ask you to betray your friend I ask you only to tell me is it anger is it hatred is it pride is it restlessness is it some wild fancy is it love what is it that is leading him Miss dartle I returned how shall I tell you so that you will believe me that I know of nothing in steerforth different from what there was when I first came here I can think of nothing I firmly believe there is nothing I hardly understand even what you mean as she still stood looking fixedly at me a twitching or throbbing from which I could not dissociate the idea of pain came into that cruel Mark and lifted up the corner of her lip as if with scorn or with a Pity that despised its object she put her hand upon it hurriedly a hand so thin and delicate that when I had seen her hold it up before the fire to shade her face I had compared it in my thoughts to find porcelain and saying in a quick Fierce passionate way I swear you to secrecy about this said not a word more Mrs steerforth was particularly happy in her son's society and steerforth was on this occasion particularly attentive and respectful to her it was very interesting to me to see them together not only on account of their Mutual affection but because of the strong personal resemblance between them and the manner in which what was hay or impetuous in him was softened by age and sex in her to a gracious dig I thought more than once that it was well no serious cause of division had ever come between them or two such Natures I ought rather to express it two such shades of the same nature might have been harder to reconcile than the two extremist opposites in creation the idea did not originate in my own discernment I am bound to confess but in a speech of Rosa dles she said at dinner oh but do tell me though somebody because I have been thinking about it all day and I want to know you want to know what Rosa returned Mrs steerforth pray pray Rosa do not be mysterious mysterious she cried oh really do you consider me so do I constantly entreat you said Mrs steerforth to speak plainly in your own natural manner oh then this is not my natural manner she rejoined now you must really bear with me because I ask for information we never know ourselves it has become a second nature said Mrs steerforth without any displeasure but I remember and so must you I think when your manner was different Rosa when it was not so guarded and was more trustful I am sure you are right she returned and so it is that bad habits grow upon one really less guarded and more trustful how can I imperceptibly have changed I wonder well that's very odd I must study to regain my for former selfelf I wish you would said Mrs steerforth with a smile oh I really will you know she answered I will learn frankness from let me see from James you cannot learn frankness Rosa said Mrs steerforth quickly for there was always some effect of sarcasm in what Rosa dartle said though it was said as this was in the most unconscious manner in the world in a better school that I am sure of she answered with uncommon fervor if I am sure of anything of course you know I am sure of that Mrs steerforth appeared to me to regret having been a little nettled for she presently said in a kind tone well my dear Rosa we have not heard what it is that you want to be satisfied about that I want to be satisfied about she replied with provoking coldness oh it was only whether the people who are like each other in their moral Constitution is that the phrase it's as good a phrase as another said steerforth Thank you whether people who are like each other in their moral Constitution are in Greater danger than people not so circumstanced supposing any serious cause of variance to arise between them of being divided angrily and deeply I should say yes said steerforth should you she retorted dear me supposing then for instance any unlikely thing will do for a supposition that you and your mother were to have a serious quarrel my dear Ro interposed Mrs steerforth laughing good-naturedly suggest some other supposition James and I know our duty to each other better I pray Heaven oh said Miss dartle nodding her head thoughtfully to be sure that would prevent it why of course it would exactly now I am glad I have been so foolish as to put the case for it is so very good to know that your duty to each other would prevent it thank you very much much one other little circumstance connected with Miss dartle I must not ommit for I had reason to remember it thereafter when all the IR remediable past was rendered plain during the whole of this day but especially from this period of it steerforth exerted himself with his utmost skill and that was with his utmost ease to charm this singular creature into a pleasant and pleased companion that he should succeed was no matter of surprise to me that she should struggle against the fascinating influence of his delightful art F nature I thought at then did not surprise me either for I knew that she was sometimes jaist and perverse I saw her features and her manner slowly change I saw her look at him with growing admiration I saw her try more and more faintly but always angrily as if she condemned a weakness in herself to resist the captivating power that he possessed and finally I saw her sharp glance soften and her smile become quite gentle and I ceased to be afraid of her as I had really been all day and we all sat about the fire talking and laughing together with as little Reserve as if we had been children whether it was because we had sat there so long or because steerforth was resolved not to lose the advantage he had gained I do not know but we did not remain in the dining room more than 5 minutes after her departure she is playing her harp said steerforth softly at the drawing room door and nobody but my mother has heard her do that I believe these 3 years he said it with a curious smile which was gone directly and we went into the room and found her Al alone don't get up said steerforth which she had already done my dear Rosa don't be kind for once and sing us an Irish song what do you care for an Irish song she returned much said steerforth much more than for any other here is Daisy too loves music from his soul sing us an Irish song Rosa and let me sit and listen as I used to do he did not touch her or the chair from which she had risen but sat himself near the harp she stood beside it for some little while in a curious way going through the motion of playing it with her right hand but not sounding it at length she sat down and Drew it to her with one sudden action and played and sang I don't know what it was in her touch or voice that made that song the most unearthly I have ever heard in my life or can imagine there was something fearful in the reality of it it was as if it had never been written or set to music but sprung out of passion within her which found imperfect utterance in the low sounds of her voice and crouched again when all was still I was dumb when she leaned beside the harp again playing it but not sounding it with her right hand a minute more and this had roused me from my trance steerforth had left his seat and gone to her and had put his arm laughingly about her and had said come Rosa for the future we will love each other very much and she had struck him and had thrown him off with the fury of a wild C cat and had burst out of the room what is the matter with Rosa said Mrs steerforth coming in she has been an angel mother returned steerforth for a little while and has run into the opposite extreme since by way of compensation you should be careful not to irritate her James her temper has been soured remember and ought not to be tried Rosa did not come back and no other mention was made of her until I went with steerforth into his room to say good night then he laughed about her and asked me if I had ever seen such a fierce little piece of incomprehensibility I expressed as much of my astonishment as was then capable of expression and asked if he could guess what it was that she had taken so much a miss so suddenly Oh Heaven Knows said steerforth anything you like or nothing I told you she took everything herself included to a grindstone and sharpened it she is an edge tool and requires Great care indeed dealing with she is always dangerous good night good night said I my dear steerforth I shall be gone before you wake in the morning good night he was unwilling to let me go and stood holding me out with a hand on each of my shoulders as he had done in my own room Daisy he said with a smile for though that's not the name your Godfathers and godmothers gave you it's the name I like best to call you by and I wish I wish I wish you could give it to me why so I can if I choose said I Daisy if anything should ever separate us you must think of me at my best old boy call me let us make that bargain think of me at my best if circumstances should ever part us you have no best to me steerforth said I and no worst you are always equally loved and cherished in my heart so much compunction for having ever wronged him even by a shapel thought did I feel within me that the confession of having done so was rising to my lips but for the reluctance I had to betray the confidence of Agnes but for my uncertainty how to approach the subject with no risk of doing so it would have reached them before he said God bless you Daisy and good night in my doubt it did not reach them and we shook hands and we parted I was up with the dull Dawn and having dressed as quietly as I could looked into his room he was fast asleep lying EAS easily with his head upon his arm as I had often seen him lie at school the time came in its season and that was very soon when I almost wondered that nothing troubled his Repose as I looked at him but he slept let me think of him so again as I had often seen him sleep at school and thus in this silent hour I left him never more oh God forgive you steerforth to touch that passive hand in Love and Friendship Never Never more chap Chapter 30 a loss I got down to Yarmouth in the evening and went to Chapter 30 the Inn I knew that pegot spare room my room was likely to have occupation enough in a little while if that great visitor before whose presence all the living must give Place were not already in the house so I betook myself to the inn and dined there and engaged my bed it was 10:00 when I went out many of the shops were shut and the town was dull when I came to Omar and joram's I found the shutters up but the shop door standing open as I could obtain a perspective view of Mr Omar inside smoking his pipe by The Parlor door I entered and asked him how he was why bless my life and soul said Mr Omar how do you find yourself take a seat dot smoke not disagreeable I hope by no means said I I like it in somebody else's pipe what not in your own eh Mr Omar returned laughing all the better sir bad habit for a young man take a seat I smoke myself for the asthma Mr Omar had made room for me and placed a chair he now sat down again very much out of breath gasping at his pipe as if it contained a supply of that necessary without which he must perish I am sorry to have heard bad news of Mr biss said I Mr Omar looked at me with a steady countenance and shook his head do you you know how he is tonight I asked the very question I should have put to you sir returned Mr RAR but on account of delicacy it's one of the drawbacks of our line of business when a party's ill we can't ask how the party is the difficulty had not occurred to me though I had had my apprehensions too when I went in of hearing the old tomb on its being mentioned I recognized it however and said as much yes yes you understand said Mr RAR nodding his head we D do it bless you it would be a shock that the generality of parties mightn't recover to say Omar and joram's compliments and how do you find yourself this morning or this afternoon as it may be Mr Omar and I nodded at each other and Mr Omar recruited his Wind by the aid of his pipe it's one of the things that cut the trade off from attentions they could often wish to show said Mr Omar take myself if I have known biss a year to move to as he went by I have known him 40 years but I can't go and say how is he I felt it was rather hard on Mr Omar and I told him so I'm not more self-interested I hope than another man said Mr Omar look at me my wind May Fail me at any moment and it ain't likely that to my own knowledge I'd be self-interested under such circumstances I say it ain't likely in a man who knows his wind will go when it does go as if a pair of bellows was cut open and that man a grandfather said Mr RAR I said not at all it ain't that I complain of my line of business said Mr Omar it ain't that some good and some bad goes no doubt to all callings what I wish is that parties was brought up stronger minded Mr Omar with a very complacent and amiable face took several Puffs in silence and then said resuming his first point accordingly we're obled in ascertaining how biss goes on to limit ourselves to Emily she knows what our real objects are and she don't have any more alarms or suspicions about us than if we were so many lambs Minnie and joram have just Ste down to the house in fact she's there after hours helping her aunt a bit to ask her how he is tonight and if you was to please to wait till they come back they give you full partic cles will you take something a glass of shrub and water now I smoke on shrub and water myself said Mr RAR taking up his glass because it's considered softening to the passages by which this Troublesome breath of mind gets into action but Lord bless you said Mr Omar huskily it ain't the passages that's out of order give me breath enough said I to my daughter Minnie and I'll find passages my dear he really had no breath to spare and it was very alarming to see him laugh when he was again in a condition to be talked to I thanked him for the profer refreshment which I declined as I had just at dinner and observing that I would wait since he was so good as to invite me until his daughter and his son-in-law came back I inquired how little Emily was well sir said Mr Omar removing his pipe that he might rub his chin I tell you truly I shall be glad when her marriage has taken place why so I inquired well she's unsettled at present said Mr RAR it ain't that she's not as pretty as ever for she's prettier I do assure you she is prettier it ain't that she don't work as well as ever for she does she was worth any six and she is worth any6 but somehow she wants heart if you understand said Mr RAR after rubbing his chin again and smoking a little what I mean in a general way by the expression a long pull and a strong pull and a pull alog together my hearties hrah I should say to you that that was in a general way what I miss in ly Mr Omar's face and manner went for so much that I could conscientiously ND my head as divining his meaning my quickness of apprehension seemed to please him and he went on now I consider this is principally on account of her being in an unsettled State you see we have talked it over a good deal her uncle and myself and her sweetheart and myself after business and I consider it is principally on account of her being unsettled you must always recollect of Emily said Mr Omar shaking his head gently that she's a most extraordinary affectionate little thing the proverb says you can't make a silk purse out of a s's ear well I don't know about that I rather think you may if you begin early in life she has made a home out of that old boat sir that Stone and Marble couldn't beat I am sure she has said I to see the clinging of that pretty little thing to her uncle said Mr Omar to see the way she holds on to him Tighter and Tighter and closer and closer closer every day is to see a sight now you know there's a struggle going on when that's the case why should it be made a longer one than is needful I listened attentively to the good old fellow and acquiesced with all my heart in what he said therefore I mentioned to them said Mr Omar in a comfortable easygoing tone this I said now don't consider Emily nailed down in point of time at all make it your own time her Services have been more valuable than was supposed her learning has been quicker than was supposed Omar and joram can run their pen through what remains and she's free When You Wish if she likes to make any little Arrangement afterwards in the way of doing any little thing for us at home very well if she don't very well still we're no losers anyhow for don't you see said Mr RAR touching me with his pipe it ain't likely that a man so short of breath as myself and a grandfather too would go and strain points with a little bit of a blue-eyed Blossom like her not at all I am certain said I not at all you're right said Mr RAR well sir her cousin you know it's a cousin she's going to be married to oh yes I replied I know him well of course you do said Mr Omar well sir her cousin being as it appears in good work and welltoo thanked me in a very manly sort of manner for this conducting himself all together I must say in a way that gives me a high opinion of him and went and took as comfortable a little house as you or I could wish to clap eyes on that little house is now furnished right through as neat and complete as a doll's parlor and but for bis's illness having taken this bad turn poor fellow they would have been man and wife I dare say by this time as it is there's a postponement and Emily Mr Omar I inquired has she become more settled why that you know he returned rubbing his double chin again can't naturally be expected the prospect of the change and separation and all that is as one may say close to her and far away from her both at once but kissa's death needn't put it off much but his lingering might anyway it's an uncertain state of matters you see I see said I consequently pursued Mr RAR Emily still a little down and a little fluttered perhaps upon the whole she's more so than she was every day she seems to get fonder and fonder of her uncle and more loath to part from all of us a kind word from me brings the tears into her eyes and if you was to see her with my daughter Minnie's little girl you'd never forget it bless my heart alive said Mr RAR pondering how she loves that child having so favorable an opportunity it occurred to me to ask Mr Omar before our conversation should be interrupted by the return of his daughter and her husband whether he knew anything of Martha he rejoined shaking his head and looking very much dejected no good a sad story sir however you come to know it I never thought there was harm in the girl I wouldn't wish to mention it before my daughter Minnie for she'd take me up directly but I never did none of us ever did Mr Omar hearing his daughter's footstep before I heard it touched me with his pipe and shut up one eye as a caution she and her husband came in immediately afterwards their report was that Mr biss was as bad as bad could be that he was quite unconscious and that Mr Chilli had mournfully said in the kitchen on going away just now that the College of Physicians the College of Surgeons and apothecaries Hall if they were all called in together couldn't help him he was past both colleges Mr chilp said and the hall could only poison him hearing this and learning that Mr peggoty was there I determined to go to the house at once I i b good night to Mr Omar and to Mr and Mrs joram and directed my steps thither with a solemn feeling which made Mr biss quite a new and different creature my low tap at the door was answered by Mr peggoty he was not so much surprised to see me as I had expected I remarked this in peggoty too when she came down and I have seen it since and I think in the expectation of that dread surprise all other changes and surprises dwindle into nothing I shook hands with Mr and passed into the kitchen while he softly closed the door little Emily was sitting by the fire with her hands before her face ham was standing near her we spoke in Whispers listening between whils for any sound in the room above I had not thought of it on the occasion of my last visit but how strange it was to me now to miss Mr biss out of the kitchen this is very kind of you mosa Davy said Mr peggoty it's uncommon kind said ham Emily my dear cried Mr peggoty see here here's Mossa Davy come what cheer up pretty not a word to mosar Davy there was a trembling upon her that I can see now the coldness of her hand when I touched it I can feel yet its only sign of Animation was to shrink from mine and then she glided from the chair and creeping to the other side of her uncle bowed herself silently and trembling still upon his breath it's such a loving artart said Mr peggoty smoothing her rich hair with his great hard hand that it can't a beer the sorer of this it's natal in young folk Moss or Davy when they're new to these here trials and timid like my little bird it's natal she clung the closer to him but neither lifted up her face nor spoke a word it's getting late my dear said Mr peggoty and here's ham come fur to take you home her go along with tther loving art what Emily my pretty the sound of her voice had not reached me but he bent his head as if he listened to her and then said let you stay with your uncle why you don't mean to ask me that stay with your uncle moop it when your husband that'll be so soon is here for to take you home now a person wouldn't think it for to see this little thing alongside a rough weather chap like me said Mr peggoty looking round at both of us with infinite Pride but the sea ain't more salt in it than she has fondness in her for her uncle a foolish little Emily Emily s the right in that Mossa Davy said ham lookie here as Emily wishes of it and as she's hurried and frightened like besides I'll leave her till morning let me stay too no no said Mr peggoty you don't ought a married man like you or what's as good to take and Hull away a day's work and you don't ought to watch and work both that won't do you go home and turn in you ain't a feared of Emily not being took good care on I know ham yielded to this persuasion and took his hat to go even when he kissed her and I never saw him approach her but I felt that nature had given him the soul of a gentleman she seemed to cling closer to her uncle even to the avoidance of her chosen husband I shut the door after him that it might cause no disturbance of The Quiet that prevailed and when I turned back I found Mr peggoty still talking to her now I'm a going upstairs to tell your aunt as Mossa Davy's here and that'll cheer her up a bit he said sit you down by the fire the while my dear and warm those mortal cold hands you don't need to be so fearsome and take on so much what you'll go along with me well come along with me come if her uncle was turned out of house and home and forced to lay down in a dyke Mossa Davy said Mr peggoty with no less pred than before it's my belief she'd go along with him now but there'll be someone else soon someone else soon Emily afterwards when I went upstairs as I passed the door of my little chamber which was dark I had an indistinct impression of her being within It cast down upon the floor but whether it was really she or whether it was a confusion of the Shadows in the room I don't know now I had Leisure to think before the kitchen fire of pretty little Emily's dread of death which added to what Mr R had told me I took to be the cause of her being so unlike herself and I had Leisure before peggoty came down even to think more leniently of the weakness of it as I sat counting the ticking of the clock and deepening my sense of the solemn hush around me pegy took me in her arms and blessed and thanked me over and over again for being such a comfort to her that was what she said in her distress she then entreated me to come upstairs sobbing that Mr biss had always liked me and admired me that he had often talked of me before he fell into a stuper and that believed in case of his coming to himself again he would brighten up at sight of me if he could brighten up at any Earthly thing the probability of his ever doing so appeared to me when I saw him to be very small he was lying with his head and shoulders out of bed in an uncomfortable attitude half resting on the box which had cost him so much pain and trouble I learned that when he was past creeping out of bed to open it and past assuring himself of its safety by means of the divining Rod I had seen him use he had required to have it placed on the chair at the bedside where he had ever since embraced it night and day his arm lay on it now time and the world was slipping from beneath him but the box was there and the last words he had uttered were in an explanatory tone old clothes but kiss my dear said pegate almost cheerfully bending over him while her brother and I stood at the bed's foot here's my dear boy my dear boy master Davy who brought us together but kiss that you said sent messages by you know won't you speak to master Davy he was as mute and senseless as the box from which his form derived the only expression it had he's a going out with the tide said Mr peggoty to me behind his hand my eyes were dim and so were Mr pegat but I repeated in a whisper with the tide people can't die along the coast said Mr peggoty except when the Tide's pretty nigh out they can't be born unless it's pretty nigh in not properly born till flood he's a going out with the tide it's EB at half out of three slack water half an hour if he lives till it turns he'll hold his own till past the flood and go out with the next tide