One Night, One Mistake: ET2 Palfrey's Story

My name is ET2 Michael Palfrey. I am currently one of the hold staff duty members at the TSE North Island in the SEAL and SWIC attrition office. What I like the most about the Navy is the idea of the standards that you're held to. I was having a rather tough time in life. My marriage was breaking up, and I could see it coming and I was ... I suppose in kind of a "must resist" mode. And then it was Memorial Day evening, and I was out with some friends who had ridden their bikes down to Pacific Beach, and when we got back up to North County somebody pushed a beer in my face and I said, "why not, the night's over." I made that excuse that the night's over; I'm the only person that has to get home now. I had to have blacked out at some point. And it's not that I drank to excess often, or that I'm in the habit of having black outs. How I got from where I left, from the bar I left to right near Alverado Medical Center, I have no idea; I have no recollection of it. And I was actually the one that called the police, I found out later. I had the accident then I called the police and said, "hey there's been an accident." That moment when the cuffs went on, I just kind a sobered up and went, "this is not real. This did not just happen." And it's like that moment when you just feel the whole bottom fall out of your stomach like your falling, but you're standing still and I was like, "what is going to happen now?" I also had the courts to deal with out in town. I had a $2600 fine. I had the loss of a $25,000 car that I was so proud to have. I loved that car. And I had all of these things going for me a year ago, and now they're all gone. I'm not eligible for programs like officers programs. I'm very close to getting my degree. All of these opportunities have been shut down to me. It's not just the financial cost and where they get you in the wallet, but all the opportunities when something like this happens to you are shut down. I went and met with the command DAPA, and he was very helpful and very understanding, and he knew right where to send me to the substance abuse rehabilitation program. Our investigators talked to him and then I grabbed him. During the treatment process, he took it in like it was his own baby. He had no problem going to Alcoholics Anonymous meetings; he had no problem with treatment in general. I was very surprised to see how well they split that difference of allowing me to deal and ask the questions I needed to ask myself, but not letting me off the hook for the conduct that had been destructive in my life. I think that the Navy's treatment program actually helped him in life. Yes the DUI was horrible, getting behind the wheel and driving was horrible, but getting through the treatment process has made him a better Sailor and a better person. Obviously, Petty Officer Palfrey made a mistake, but the thing he needs to do is learn from it and I think he is doing that. He's doing a lot of things he needs to do. His attitude has changed quite a bit. He's always motivated, and he's trying to get these students to the right places. The things I do outside of work to put myself back kinda in a positive mind frame and occupy my time is ... the big one is weight lifting. I got back into that after being lazy for about a year after deployment. I also got back into painting, which I haven't done in a couple years. It's very nice and calming to have that one thing in front of to focus on in front of, and you just get to tune everything else out. It is very important to keep the things that you have worked so hard for. Not just the monetary things, that's important too because you have to start all over again ... but the respect of your peers and the people around you. The Keep What You've Earned Program is a way to show Sailors that, you know they have worked so hard in boot camp, they've worked so hard through their schools, they've worked so hard to make rank, to make their family and their community proud, and to throw that away for a couple drinks... And there is just no excuse to make that kind of decision. The math doesn't work. You can keep it going a few more hours, but you know that will expire. You know you have to go from where you are to home. You know that the decisions you make 24 hours a day, the Navy is holding you accountable for, and all you have to do is not make the dangerous ones.