I always felt I felt abandoned once I survived I didn't I didn't know there was nobody to talk to there was nobody to deal with my paliative counselor said don't forget what you've learned here and um time passes some of the times I do forget but I remember and pull out of my bag of tricks that I learned when I was in survivorship the different things that I learned at that time and I use whatever tools I need to get on with my life um I've continued many of the same practices one of the most important things uh I learned is there are many uh that I've integrated into who I am but one of the things that people said leave no stone unturned plan to live forever and be prepared to die today so I've kept my focus on planning to live forever