My Friend Is Trying to Strand Us in the Woods! With Amanda McLoughlin

I know that this is a replay but I do want to start it regular I'll change it but I had a I had a question that I had prepared and I want to I want to do it is that okay of course okay so now get ready I'm going to wait two seconds then I'm going to blast into it okay that's what I said like when I wait that's good I as you're anticipating it's like you're an animal crossing character where you like did the anxious react and you're like exactly right I'm Shing sound yes it comes out of your controller too so like even if your TV's muted your controller still yeah yeah Tangy when she sees a scorpion it's like I I how do I mute controller my husband is mad because my controller keeps making him anxious am I the [Music] [ __ ] [Music] hello people who want advice welcome to the replay where we replay and reply to advice questions uh from advice columnists in the past but it's about games uh we're the only husband and wife in podcasting I'm Eric I'm Amanda and uh I had this question so that's why we're doing a regular games and feelings intro style uh obviously going into work is the worst and having colleagues is terrible which is why every likes working from home but the thing that I miss the most about it from a games perspective is that when I cloak my personality from everyone and then like there's an opportunity for me to say oh yeah I'm actually very good at this one thing and everyone goes what that's actually pretty good to the surprise a bunch of people who don't really know me yeah it really is what is your favorite like genre to surprise them Tor I don't think it really matters the genre I think it's like this actually happened recently I was at when uh I was doing the live show for the distraction which we planned which is actually kind of part of this I saw my colleagues in person uh so I produced a sport show and we were talking about stuff and I was like yes I am a professional dungeon master and you don't know what a board game is outside of Monopoly yes that's right that's very true my version of that I think is revealing that I have tattoos now that I have a lot of tattoos that's a little bit different but when I worked at JP Morgan uh I would wear a a watch to work every day because literally nobody on my floor of 4 or 500 people had any visible tattoos also in business you're wearing like a full suit or the equivalent like I never saw any of my colleagues upper arms like it was extremely conservative dress environment uh but uh near my uh my end of my tenure I got a little uh you know risque and I showed you know like the back of my hairline which has a tattoo and my you know wrist which has a tattoo and everyone was like oh my God this was about from a Gaming's perspective I think you might have forgotten tattoos are for gamers yes okay good no but from a a games perspective I think it is my uh it would be a couple times we did trivia uh in the office and we did stock picking contests and people um both of in both of those scenarios people were always surprised when I knew things about anything that wasn't Finance uh and so when I for example was like the person in the room who knew a lot about musical theater or you know literature or essentially anything uh they were like well oh Mana coming through and I'm like I'm a person I I I exist outside of this octagon shaped building yeah no I like that that's actually really good do you know that like sometimes streamers cuz they run out of things to do and they have too much money they're like okay chat pick some stocks for me and then they do that and that becomes like a running content thing and they always end up picking like you know there's always like oh yeah apple and Disney and stuff but almost all the time they pick Nvidia which I think is so funny because it's a streamer like it's a name that streamers know because of its Hardware yes and because like they know that the products they make for those you don't know Nvidia makes the graphics cards that go into PCS and they always sell out like the new ones sell out immediately so I think it's like the idea that they always have products that people want Nvidia always shows up that's actually a really good strategy for picking stocks like that that you know I can go into long detail about why being like hey this is a thing that I know is good and as a user of the industry or like Observer of it I know that they frequently sell out uh that is much better reasons for picking socks than almost any other reason first of all this is my wife Jim Kramer it's nice to meet you hey what's up a man here for a man do bad money I have no hair and I'm 5 foot two and the second thing is like I understand that but I have a distinct memory of my mom buying like ver Wang stock cuz she knew like the new wedding dresses were coming out and I'm like that can't be a good Financial strategy yeah I I don't own any individual stocks uh when I worked in finance I couldn't and I just never did there are people way smarter than me with way more not even smarter no there are people with way more tools than me manipulating those prices in a way that I couldn't possibly understand like literally the way to make money on the stock market is uh insider trading or having a superc computer and uh there there's not a lot left for the rest of us um but that's why I find things like GameStop and stons so incredibly exciting because those people are no less qualified than anyone else or allowed to make money on the stock market yeah they just kind of work in a building with a lot of glass in it yeah they like took a lot of money to build they do and they're like hey doesn't it suck when the stock market moves for reasons you don't control and the Hedge Traders Hedon Traders were like I I can't comprehend this uh the reason why I asked this is I've been thinking about this a lot because um I lost 50 lb and no one cares so I'm just like man I wish that uh I had some people who saw me every day who knew me only on an associate kind of like acquaintance level they than they know right exactly those are the people who would care and they'd remark on it and then you'd be like probably in most cases I'd say don't remark on my body but please REM on my body it [ __ ] sucks yeah it sucks and it's stupid you're just an avatar from the shoulders up most of the time that's great in this particular case you're like Hey cuz like who sees me in person perceive me please yeah it's like I want to be please perceive me this sucks yeah I like that I thought you were going to ask what part of um like being in an inperson office you miss the most just generally and like we do to a small extent uh the thing I missed the most was gamifying catering and as a person in charge of ordering the catering um I often uh sort of manipulated events so that the leftovers that were left pleased me and oh sure great like well you were responsible for catering yeah I had to order catering for like a lot of uh see this is different cuz you are a woman so you are that you would be in that situation and I would not yes exactly but I mean if they're going to give you the power you're going to use it yeah I like all right folks we having Ethiopian today yeah or I mean I was vegan at the time so I'm like yeah there are going to be 20% vegan sandwiches no one's going to eat them Eric and that's lunch for me for the week you're just going to take home all of the eggplant sandwiches yeah and I would make sure the people like liked had had choices they liked and people I didn't didn't and then I would let my friends know when the catering was done and there was leftovers and then everyone else just had to pick it over yeah I think about this this is related because my dad works at a bank and I guess like he's been doing it for a very very long time so he's kind of senior now and like I was there for a zoom meeting for like his 30th year working at the bank did was that that's cor yes and it was first of all was the funniest thing I ever seen 20th but it was it was a lot it was certainly a lot and like seeing the interns who like interned for him were really funny and then there was like a running joke at one point I said I had to go to work and everyone laughed and I'm like what was like I have a meeing it's like they didn't believe me but there was a whole thing about this where every they ordered only salmon sushi cuz that's what my dad likes and I'm like the person who entered this in for my dad is the single this is the like I cannot I can't comprehend the person on the bottom of the totem pole who does who has to do org stuff yeah uh who has to do this for my dad for his weird like banal tastes it's so funny yeah either either one of his similarly leveled colleagues was like you know it would be funny let's order Eric's dad 500 pieces of sant Sushi TJ did do that DJ definitely said that and then the admin assistant was like all right and then texted her group chat as she was putting in order for like $2,000 of sushi I I mean well it was also like their lunch was the sushi but the way that it wasn't it wasn't like for show they just like ordered like a platter for you know I don't they did order I wasn't there so this is what I was crying right cuz I saw it only in Zoom uh like my Dad's friend at work is like the weird divorced sad one and I have distinct memories of that from middle school and high school this guy this guy TJ and TJ made a joke that like we're all going to go have Sam and sushi but I don't know if the entire platter was salmon sushi or there was like let's make sure to get my dad Eric's dad salmon sushi cuz that's what he always orders when we do this thing I but it's funnier in my head if it was like everyone gets s Sushi personal sushi right maybe they were taking him out for lunch just like six or seven of them nope he was in in the office I remember this being early lockdown but they were all in person it was mid lock down when people should not be back at work but they were got it was like don't worry we have like Hippa filters come to work because you have to do Finance here and there were like $10,000 uh like Cisco video chat systems and yet the angle was so bad yeah it was so funny it was so funny ah well Eric I'm glad that we uh got all our kind of internal uh like office building and like shared workspace chat out of the way because this edition of the replay is oops all Outdoors it's all Outdoors baby everyone else might think oh cozy season time to go inside la la la no those of us who hate to sweat are outside right now la la la enjoying it though if this is all Outdoors which I think if I remember correctly these questions are answered by Blair Braverman notorious person who's outside and loves telling people about it and is wants people to go outside yes at least I'll be wearing a shirt that's appropriate to sweat in I think that this is this is more the issue and that I've understood more as I've had to mandatorily sweat to uh shrink my body um it's about sweating in inopportune times yes what I my body is still hot and I sweat in the shirt that I was wearing in public but I can sweat in my gym clothes but it's like are you going to give me the time to put the gym clothes on yes the the worst part is is having sweated and needing to do other things exactly uh I've been going to yoga a lot and similar like I it's it's pouring off me uh it doesn't matter I I go home and shower and like everything's fine but you can wear Leisure more and more places yeah but afterward it's like it's wet oh after yeah for sure but before like you can set it up so it works yeah the the worst was like walking to work when I had to wear a full suit to finance and it was like 95 degre outside and then I had like do my entire day or even like you in school and wearing your clothes and it is sweaty or you just came off of gym and you haven't stopped sweating yet I feel like that's the thing I'm going to talk about when I'm elderly is that my elementary middle and high schools had no air conditioning that's C there was no air conditioning oh my God and it was really hot it was really hot for like three of those months at least yeah yeah it's hot it was hot ridiculous well Eric as you said you uh found an excellent source of new replay questions which I'm always looking for so uh hit me up at she so Mickey or uh email the show if you have any wrecks but this Amanda you are so Mickey like no one's no one's talking about this your mom says that to me and I'm like red to filth I know though your extended family does only know me as El silvero which is weirder than that my coolest aunt and no one else I mean they still know it they just didn't say it to my face that's true um but Blair Braverman you may know uh from social media uh she is a professional she does lots of things professionally she's a writer um but she lives in Alaska with her husband uh they were on Naked and Afraid together uh and they race dogs they do dog SL racing yeah those do those dogs are famous yes you know about flurm you know about about flurm everyone loves flurm oh noodle like there are so many good dogs over there and uh she has written welcome to the godamn Ice Cube a memoir about uh mushing and dog sledding uh as well as a uh spooky novel about a Naked and Afraid style abandonment reality TV show do you read that I did you did yeah how has Blair Braverman not been on Spirits yet that's a great question hang on head of creative Eric Silver folks qu a little the slack to myself put it in the remember Channel we have a remember channel on slack which is just Eric and Amanda where we uh tell each other things good ideas to remember for later yeah when when we're not at our desks which is uh very helpful anyway so she writes a column for outside magazine it is a uh it's called tough love it is about uh quote dating breakups and everything in between but you pointed out there are some things there about sports and so I have begun with the uh the question that you found and you know the headline but I've also uncovered some good ones from the archives so want to jump in hell yeah yes I did not not read I do not remember this question and I didn't read it at all because I immediately just send it to you so it's out of my brain so I'm coming to this clear eyed uh I'm really interested Blair is also very thoughtful so like anything I say is going to be harsher than the thing that she says so I'm actually kind of excited about it because after all of this Dear Prudence uh nonsense from the various dear prudes that exist it's always like I say something harsher but then they say something that's that's soft but totally [ __ ] out of bounds yes so I'm very excited about this also remember we're doing the replay because this is a main feed episode if you want more of these episodes we do them on the patreon all you have to do is go to patreon.com gamesand feelings give us $5 $5 per month $5 a month yeah that's one one wool suck one a lot of Blair's articles about wool she's a lot of explainers that's what I was trying to say is like what Blair is saying is like it's more about wearing things you can sweat in cuz Blair has like wool socks sweat waking tank top and like leggings that both are keep your heat in but also keep you cool question mark yeah uh for so as I was going through the uh the column I also just opened some tabs just for just for Amanda uh one of which is titled Blair braverman's favorite active bra friendly dresses exactly very important caveat yeah so she she's full of practical advice and she's l a lot of empathy um so like she you know she is a a queer woman her husband is trans they're Jewish like they there are a lot of reasons why they have had to carve out niches for themselves in the outdoors in Alaska in the different like competitive communities that they're in and so her perspective is often one of like hey you are welcome here too no question is stupid and like let me let me kind of welcome you in and and show you that it's possible to exist here while also kind of being safe um so that's that's her stance and I think I think it's going to be interesting how your advice kind of stacks up I'm interested also the people so this is outside magazine yeah yes so I'm very interested of the types of questions they write in as opposed to the people who write in to advice questions on slate which is where like you take a break from being the I don't know president of a nonprofit board and yelling at and yelling at your subordinates for 20 minutes and you're like woo I'm going to write in about my marriage to slate exactly uh I'm I'm sensing that most of these questions come from Blair's audience but let's let's review at the end of the episode it's still no I mean it's probably good like I'm sure no they're good so this headline that grabbed you is my nephew is a great athlete but he might be cheating do I report it o God all right my wife's nephew AG 10 is very talented in his sport oh age 10 I didn't even know that oh since my wife's family doesn't have much money and my wife and I have two incomes and no kids we've been helping out by contributing to his training and expenses he's a sweet talented kid and works very hard there's no doubt about that we also enjoy the chance to be involved and follow along with his competitions the problem is that but I recently saw something that indicates he might be cheating my wife is completely in denial about it and claims nothing is going on she even gets angry when I try to bring it up last time I tried she said she wasn't going to talk to me about this and she left the room I've been worrying a lot in the situation mainly because I've always felt strongly about honesty and I don't want to support someone who's cheating I'm not sure what to do I've even thought about going to officials and Reporting him anonymously in my mind the reason we support his Athletics isn't because he's great at his sport even though he is or because we expect it to be his full-time career someday we support him because it's something he loves and he's learning skills like hard work dedication persistence and problem solving I hate the idea that this thing that's supposed to be good might actually be teaching him the wrong lessons what would you do in the situation talk to his parents officials not say anything at all I've tried but I just can't let go what sport does it say what sport it doesn't say what sport and that's my first question for you how can a 10-year-old cheat I don't know and also be not found out I don't know I have no clue like he calls them compet itions not games so something about this makes me think it's individual like martial arts tennis oh martial arts is good yeah no it's probably like martial arts that's my guess like kids who are 10 arest like running track kids who are 10 aren't even wrestling I feel no I don't know I think it's got to be like a martial arts situation let's assume it is an individual SP yeah and they say training and expenses so I mean martial arts you do training sure expenses I guess you need gear but I don't know like that tennis Maybe swimming like even hot yeah swimming I guess but how do you cheing I don't know how you cheat like I don't know how you cheat especially in a way that isn't facilitated by the parents like you can't be buying better gear so I am so puzzled I I have I have no idea what he could possibly be cheating at no I think for this reason you just don't say anything I understand that they're 10 and you're trying to instill values and stuff but like kids also have personalities and they need so one this kid might be a douche first of all can we can we acknowledge the kids's douche can we acknowledge the kids a douche maybe maybe he's incredibly anxious doesn't want to fail I don't know or and second the thing that I have learned the most on my 32-year-old trip around this Earth is that no one learns anything by giving them and you giving them advice and giving a talking to yes it is just a blip upon the story that is eventually they get caught or they don't I I just I don't think that if you are pushing this yes it is racking you inside enough that you wrote into this advice column and your wife doesn't want to talk about it then I dude like I don't know I don't know what to tell you kind of out of options you're kind of out of options I think that kids are so complicated because people have a lot of themselves invested into child because child is a minor so like there's a lot of space for adults to put things on them yes so you can't really do anything about it and the second thing is like you can't stop it no one's going to believe you don't go to an official that's so stupid that is like that is so that's going to blow up your life if you do that and your family like that oh boy uh I I totally agree I I really like probably because you know I'm curious and this an advice column I I want to know how this adult could be so convinced that this child is cheating and why the child's parents don't know or if they do know or if they're implicated or like like how how is it like well it must be the 10-year-old like 10-year-olds are you know are smart but they're not that smart they can't reach that much like they they don't have money like how how could he be cheating in a way that no other adults who are responsible for his moral development or the competition have noticed yeah if there's anything we've learned from the various parenting colums we've looked at is like you can't really do anything because the parents don't want to do anything like you can't there's no situation unless the parents are doing something that physically endangers a child so the social contract says you cannot step it or he will go really badly for you if you do step in so let me also say another thing is like what again no one's going to listen to you like you know what the kid if even if you got to the kid the kid's not going to listen to you your wife doesn't want to listen to you they're the kids's parents will not listen to you I I learned this a long time ago because I felt this way about a lot of things like oh I'm seeing people treat act the type of way this is going to lead to worse behavior and even if you flag that behavior or even if you flag like oh this person is is like mean and I think it's going to really endanger or be really rude and makes me hurt more no one's going to listen to you until they do the thing that infringes on the social contract like uh you know the precogs we all we talk about Minority Report Minority Report they basically like plug technology into these people's brains and they predict crimes before they happen right but the thing is that the whole morality thing is can you arrest someone for a crime that didn't happen yet no you really can't even if like you would want to you can't that's the same thing with behavior is like you cannot get someone until they do something and even then you just look like someone who says I told you so which is good for you but does not keep you warm at night so it's like you can't really do anything I know it sucks I guess with kids is a little more complicated but it's like you can't really do anything you want to hear a player had to say yeah I mean the thing is Blair's probably going to say something way more empathetic and understanding but I'm just like I you're out of luck my man I know that this is tearing you up inside but if no one wants to hear it you're kind of stuck welcome to society word so I'll it's a it's a thoughtful and and long response uh linked as always in the episode description if you want to read it yourselves guys uh you have up to five articles in outside magazine for free per month by the way uh for for pay wall U management for those of you who have already used your five articles I'm so sorry just put on that Incognito wait till that uh that clock ticks over to a new month yep uh so she says I'm not sure why you think he might be cheating but it seems like mostly a suspicion on your part at this point yeah for sure it's important to figure things out within the family first and if he did cheat I mean that's serious but this is still a kid we're talking about and I think kids should be given a lot of Grace for their mistakes at least the first time I know many people who for example slipped a piece of candy from a store in their pocket at that age but they've grown up to become scrupulous ethical adults in other words his actions at age 10 don't represent his ultimate morality but instead could indicate a need for a conversation about how cheating harms everyone I'm sure Blair edited out yeah what if kids a douche yeah yeah yeah I mean that's the kind of thing like you would you would you know we've been in a situation where like we've hung out with people and then like you know on the subway home be like wow person's kind of a little [ __ ] huh and like that's I don't know that's that's when you recognize it you can't change their behavior but you can say to each other uh-huh and then like move on with your life right exactly um and You Youth Sports 10-year-old Sports is not the governing body where you need to be a whistleblower yeah uh Blair also points out another possibility is if he did cheat he might have been put up to it by an adult adults oh adults can get really invested in kids sports particularly if they're Achievers and there are several kinds of cheating that will be hard for a kid to pull off without adult involvement maybe your nephew feels he has to cheat in order to make people proud or maybe he's been put into a situation he doesn't want to be in and is following the instructions of a coach Mentor or relative however that's layering one assumtion on top of another for now let's assume that's not the case yeah I mean when you talk about sports like cheating the idea of cheating is so complicated and like what is cheating as opposed to like being taught by coaches that this is an advantage I think about football a lot this has been coming up a lot do you know about the tush push have you heard about the tush push no or you know I would have been saying it every day yeah okay so the tush push is this one play that is run by the Philadelphia Eagles which is where go igles where um so you know what do you know what a quarterback sneak is no no okay so there before quarterbacks were mobile AKA allowed uh people who were not just uh weird weird white men to be quarterbacks the other day I said Eric why they all handsome and he had a great answer yeah it's because it's being a quarterback has 40% Charisma aot being handsome um they would do a play called the quarterback sneak which where you try to get like you know you got to get the first down everyone knows this Taylor Swift fans have already told you how to play football you guys know it already but it's like you try to get the first down and you have one yard to go right so what you do is you know the way the football American football plays are laid out where it's like you have the offensive line and then you just try to like you the basically the quarterback just goes yeah you try to push it and throws their body to to over there right so with the uh Philadelphia Eagles they do something called the tush push or other people are pushing the brotherly shove which is worse where basically the big linemen some of them get behind the quarterback into a rugby style push to get them the extra yard or so and the Eagles are very good at it everyone else is very bad at it even people who try to reproduce this are bad at it right interesting and there's a whole thing about how this is illegal cuz one I mean the NFL is [ __ ] so it's like oh the Eagles have an unfair Advantage we have to take it out but two they're saying it's cheating cuz no one's done it before and also it might lead to health and safety violations oh my God [ __ ] I know all of football is violation yeah exactly to be clear to be clear exactly you can't pick and choose when they make a play that you can't do welcome to the National Football League so an idea of cheating might be another coach's Advantage um or trying to flout the rules to get a to get a leg up so it's very complicated I think what a player said that's actually quite complicated is like if a Coach is telling this 10year old to do this does the coach not think it's cheating but you do and then it becomes like again if the officials don't catch it then it's not cheating yeah well said well Blair does have some recommendations I think talking to your wife seriously should be your first step it's clearly a tender subject for her so schedule in advance so she doesn't feel like it's sprung on her why I don't see the problem obviously it's too dramatic for her well it's obviously wrapped up go back to the beginning of the of the question yes the letter writer says since my wife's family doesn't have much money and my wife and I have two incomes and no kids we've been helping out by contributing to his training and expenses right obviously your wife feels like this is her contributing to her family and she is in a fin because and she feels guilt about that cuz she's in a financially stable situation and she doesn't want any of that threatened because it makes her her life feel secure don't talk about it I don't think it's worth talking about well what Blair says is like I I think you should talk her because she might have like a strong reaction related to old stuff rather than this like for example she might feel like you jump to conclusions or you're quick to mistrust her family like there there could be a lot in there right but but legitimate like that's valid no I mean it's true I didn't even think of that yeah Blair continues maybe she knows something you don't know remember that as close as you are to them this is her family of origin there might be context or dynamics that have been at play for decades that you're not aware about yeah I guess it's the question has to be hey why are you so upset whenever I bring this up yeah but said in a different way yeah but I mean like that's the that has to be the context of the question yeah exactly so that's step one which which I do agree about and and I think why so crazy I think I would approach that by being like you're allowed to tell me you're tired of talking about this on board but like I want to make sure there's not something I'm missing about this situation because like there's something here that I'm not understanding I just don't know if question asker is going to be able to put his like his whistleblower hat going be a to take that away from the situation like can't you see 50% of these conversations going the kid cheating I don't know why me too yeah my favorite line of the letter is I've always felt strongly about honesty like okay okay calm down all right so let's let's close out Blair's response um I feel like I'm doing that thing where I call a woman Scientist by her first name but like her name is Blair bra people call her I mean they call her blur because of like the internet that's what the dog the dogs call her blur her blur yeah all right so she finishes with the step if your wife agrees would be talking to the nephew's parents my inclination would be to let them take the situation from there the fact that you sponsor your nephew financially will be a convenient lever it's fair to say whether to your wife or your nephew's parents that you're not willing to keep supporting him until you see this concern addressed pause Amanda here I think that sucks no this sucks don't don't do this I know Blair is trying to like be empathetic and give you the steps to do the thing that question ask or wants but again you can't precog this yeah someone an official or someone needs to get caught and then you can say I wish we I had only if you want to do this to say later I Told You So I wish we had talked about it but again it doesn't it doesn't actually help yeah uh and then Blair concludes with saying in part I hope your nephew isn't cheating and if that's the case you may want to look at your own proclivity for making assumptions got him [ __ ] got him I think there's a lot here about why this letter writer is so invested and what the hell could be going on this is not a 17-year-old who was taking steroids that endanger his health you know or even like even to add on to this this is not a 17-year-old taking steroids to get scholarship for college which is very complex 10-year-old yeah so uh I'm not sure dying to know what the answer was uh but that's uh that's what we've got from our column number one from outside magazine all [Music] [Applause] right hey it's Eric and I have so much leftover Halloween candy take it I ate all the Reese's but you can have anything else if I look at anything that has chocolate or peanuts in it I will hurl into my slowly moldering Jack Lantern and it's not for a sad reason why I have all this candy I just bought too much uh because plenty of kids came and asked me for candy and I said yes and I felt fulfilled thanks Society first of all Hello to Gabe who became our newest patreon at patreon.com and feelings you're supporting us thanks Gabe you're great Gabe was also an annual uh Patron where you can get 12 months for the price of 10 if you pay for the whole year up front uh so Gabe thank you you're the best also the best producer level patrons Polly Burge Kelsey Duffy and Payton who are all very proud of me when I 100% did Spider-Man 2 on Hall weekend because I was sick and couldn't go do anything fun but instead I got my first platinum trophy cuz now I have a PS5 and I care about that it is a great day to try a new show from the multitude podcast Collective like join the party it's our actual play podcast listen I put so much time and effort into it if you like this show and you're not listening join the party please please do it I'm the best DM in podcasting it's one of the best Dungeons and dragon shows since 2017 and we've been doing it for a very long time we're currently doing a one piece inspired campaign where it's all plant and bug people so it's Pirates and plants and bugs like it's fun we have so many episodes go check it out join the party wherever you can get your podcasts Jasper was on it we it's good it's good we're doing some really interesting stuff some really interesting guest stuff coming up so uh this a good time to hop on we are also sponsored this week by Ravensburger jigsaw puzzles did you know that Ravensburger produces more than just classic jigsaw puzzles and board games that we know so well I didn't tell me about it that's a different show but you get it introducing crear by Ravensburger the ultimate painting by number experience you'll find everything you need to know to start your artistic Journey today with 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but I was love the second you really wanted to set up that J grasing for it yeah this is a another question from outside magazine this one was from um also just a couple weeks ago um from yesterday at the time of recording W and it's titled my friend keeps trying to get us stranded in the wilderness subtitle he's a big fan of survival shows and I think he's trying to recreate one you can't put someone on a reality show without their consent you just you just cannot right all right here's the question I think my friend is trying to get stuck in the wilderness this year we started taking weekend backpacking trips together and have a nice time last time we were hiking to the trail head on Sunday and there were dark clouds gathering in the sky but according to the weather report it wasn't supposed to storm until afternoon I thought we could make it easily but it seemed like he kept stalling along the way and finally he said that we wouldn't make it out in time and we should set up camp and wait out the weather he seemed very cheerful about about it I said that was unnecessary and sure enough we got to the car with plenty of time oh my God it's like no man no man hunger down man this is like a lifetime movie right I think Eric there in love and the one who's stalling wants to engineer a like stranded one bed scenario you know that's Trope I do yeah I feel like you've read the end of the question and I need I'm not no I'm not oh okay no I think it's the thing if it was that this is incredibly funny mhm mhm writing in saying hey writing into an device column saying hey I think this guy is trying to strand me in the woods and the guy's like I'm so in love with Catherine right it made me realize how often He suggests this kind of thing like that we can't keep going on the way back or we'll have to wait out the weather one time he said a trail was impassible but we got through fairly easily this is so funny I'll admit I felt a little thrilled at the thought of staying out too but I quickly thought better of it my friend loves survival shows and often says he'd do well on alone am I off base for thinking that maybe he's trying to make that happen in real life to be clear I don't feel scared but I do feel like on some level He is wanting us to get stuck out there is this dangerous what is the best way to handle it okay I'm going to answer from my experience as someone who lives with Amanda MCL one I know from experience that you can just go to a website read a Blog and like train to be on these shows oh yeah yeah yeah so I don't I don't think it's this because there's no way this guy is this into Al loone and I'm saying this for someone like you who is so into different types of these shows but Survivor Big Brother Etc and not know and not gets further into the fandom as you are if he's this into the show for example Amanda has told me many times that there are websites and podcasts and Consulting you can buy to get yourself ready to be on Survivor there's American Ninja Warrior and the challenge like training camps where you can like go through you know Scale Models or like full-size examples of those challenges well the training camp for the challenge is worse reality shows and then again and then go into the challenge that's true make enemies on Big Brother yep yeah exactly uh so I'm just surprised that this guy I don't think it's this I know we were joking about the thing you said I'm not joking but that I think it's way more of that because again you can train if you want to be on Al loan just say hey I'm taking a week off I'm going to try to live in the woods yeah i' I've watched alone and so even if you're not in the in the fandom just a casual Watcher of the show all of the contestant bios start with all the things they've done to prepare that's what I'm saying it is impossible for you to be a fan of these shows and not do two clicks to figure out what you could do to also simulate at least yeah everybody's like oh yeah I made a Hut in my backyard and like lived there for a week I you know like learned all the skinning and trapping I you know etc etc I you know have learned how to do the fish nets in the river like everybody talks about what they've done to prepare and alone specifically is like hey this is incredibly dangerous and we don't cast people who can't do this and so they talk about like the show is making you see how much preparation even more so than Survivor it's literally right there so that's why I don't think it's I don't think that this guy wants to get you involved no in his alone fantasy like yeah if he did and he said like just like you said Eric like if he's like hey I'm going to like make a little Hut try to live in my backyard would you like check on me twice a day would you you know like encourage me would you keep me company like that is more regular that is very regular I'm trying to think of the words to phrase this that would be so much easier that's not weird that it this doesn't have to be a heist right exactly he would not have to do this if he wanted to do that yes yeah that's wild I do think yeah I think he wants to set up a meat Goot that's that's the only thing I can think of or slightly less than that maybe he really likes it and doesn't want the experience to end like I I think it means something that it's always on the way back to the car you know which is I understand but it's like the way that this woman I'm assuming it's a woman is framing this is like hey my friend has serial killer Behavior that's the thing like there's no there like this could easily be the beginning of you know a a true crime uh story but this is this is none of those vibes um the funny thing about it was like guess we had to camp and we were and then she said I'm Imaging this it's like a script yeah and then he's like oh no the clouds are coming we have to camp and then the woman is like I can see the car the car's right there the light the light on top of the bathrooms I can see it through the trees yeah yeah oh my god do you want know what Blair has to say I do because I think we called we called bunk on the question asked your situation so she says I'll confess I find your friend's efforts a little Charming even though let me be clear it's very irresponsible to try to get trapped in the woods even Blair thinks that it's a me yeah yeah yeah blur yeah um she has some very good and normal advice about the fact that lost hikers put Rescuers at risk also and like being silly about your health and Body in dangers like other hikers the environment people who want to hike and hear stories about like boneheaded hikers and are like oh I guess it's not for me Etc she says if you ever for a second get the vibe that your friend's sabotaging your trips misplacing supplies saying he's bringing things he's not bringing Etc like don't put yourself in a situation where he could be you know infringing on your safety that's what I'm saying though is like I know that this guy is being super weird I don't think he's doing that yes he's not like oh I misplaced the food we have no food and we're we're 10 miles we're 10 hours away from the car like he's not doing that no that's [ __ ] up dangerous and I'm sure people do it but that's not what we're dealing with here and Blair GRE she says it doesn't really sound from your examples like he's doing dangerous stuff sounds like he's just hoping in his heart that he might have to sleep out an extra night or wait out a rainstorm in a tent in the way someone might fantasize about getting stuck at a dream vacation destination so they don't have to leave I think that the different I think that this guy's also a little like he's not ready to put this in his own hands he's not ready to tell someone be like I'm going to go sleep outside in the woods for 3 days like I hope that the advice is can you power your friend yes it really is Eric oh W so she says I wonder if your friend's reluctance to reach the trail head and your own thrill at the thought of staying out is a sign that you're craving and ready for longer trips with all the fluidity that they entail and also K and maybe Kos and maybe you Kos is he up for four days five are you if doubling or tripling your distances seems daunting maybe give yourselves more days for the same length of trip set up a base camp explore take day Heights on Route Etc without the pressure of constantly moving and Hauling additional food and supplies and then you K and maybe K another option if your friend wants the excitement of feeling stuck out there is to hire a boat to leave you on an island with supplies than have it come back and pick you up at a set time later exactly like these are real things that people do all the time yeah she says you could even offer to split up for a while and let your friend truly try out being alone but check in with him a couple times a day and then he said no I really I really miss you I kiss want kiss what if we kissed yep ha what if we kissed well alone well Blair Blair doesn't say you should perhaps kiss but she does say very sweetly like you don't need an excuse to want to be out in nature longer you can stay because it feels like home and you love it like you're you're allowed and maybe he's searching for an excuse to do so I kind of love these particular advice columns uh like this one and uh Ola poy where it's like really the advice question is the jumping off point for a beautiful essay and I just that's good that's hot [ __ ] that's what I want I don't want this absolute nonsense that I'm getting from Slate constantly like I want this yeah it's it's really lovely and I'm I'm pulling out the you know highlights of Blair's responses but they really are very beautiful and like you know little uh little moment here of myself like she has a lot of extremely like encouraging advice to be like one of her articles that I first read was like Hey literally how do I like sleep outside overnight like what do I need uh what might happen uh what is it like what I might I be scared about and she goes into it without judgment which I think is really lovely and she is a beautiful writer so you should really check it out use those five articles have you uh slept outside before uh in my backyard in the suburbs of New York City oh yeah nice we would we would tent we would have like a big tent and Camp Outdoors uh and like use bathroom inside but I really want to and I I just never have had a like I don't know either someone who I felt was stoked about it enough that me not knowing how to sort of pull my weight would be okay uh like someone who's like oh yeah like let me show you like let me you know I'll set up the whole thing like show you how to do it or just like I live in New York City like the time and and equipment to do it yeah you always need someone who like knows how to do all the stuff cuz if you don't know how to do something you can be in real [ __ ] yeah like oh I didn't know I was supposed to put a tarp down is a big deal I don't know how to hang my food if I am in uh places where there are big things who want to eat my food yeah and she has a lot of very good advice like start in your backyard like start with a friend who knows it really well you can drive somewhere set up camp spend the day there drive home like there's you know she has very good advice for sort of easing into it I do want to be on Survivor and I think I will in fact make a video and send it in but like poof there's a lot of just like I did a lot of this but at summer camp like doing camping Out outdoors and we had really long camping trips like five six day camping trips um but it's like if I don't even have cards like am I just going to be sitting there hungry and then like oh God good then I have to like expend I have to do a challenge put together by reality show team that would be wild yeah though I think I do need to get on the show for me to ultimately get the job that I want which is games consultant on reality shows yeah um I saw the credits of a reality show recently and someone's title was games producer and I was like [ __ ] what wait what yeah what yeah oh my God I was like can iic find her in LinkedIn and talk to her that could be me I know hey can I pick you're free yeah genuinely you'd be so good at it I would love that that would be great my sister called me recently and was like Hey I accidentally saw an episode of Big Brother that challenge is absolute [ __ ] why don't they hire Eric and I was like great question great question great question all right let's uh let's do one more question from Blair okay okay this is titled the Fine Art of teaching your significant other to ski I'm already a podcaster it's like usually it's the other way around here we go my partner is an ex semipro skier oh boy lots of words there he's kind patient emotionally intelligent and very competitive this summer I taught him to climb which he agreed to if he could teach me to ski fast forward a few months whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa Eric mid coffee let's stop hold on you didn't know how to ski until this moment why is why are you so surprised I'm already seeing that this is a point of conflict in their relationship yes yeah it's like he like oh I think I it would be too weird for me to do it and but and he probably just wants you to learn how to ski so you can do the thing that that was the biggest part of his young life yes XPR to never have skied that's a that's a big distance cuz I can already see this I felt this way about video games for a very long time was like all right I have to put away my childish things which is professionally skiing and but then like no it can just be a part of your life in this situation I can see it's like well I'm older now I have this wife who doesn't even know how to ski I have put away my childish things but really how does question ask her not know how to ski in this relationship if you were with someone who is professional at any point in their life and probably still likes to do this thing how do you not know at least how to do it I think about um who's that Chef who met his wife at a cooking class that he ran oh yes uh jet Tila and his wife whose name I don't know right right and it was like well makes sense you don't have to be professional at it but it's like wouldn't two people come together around interests that they love so much and I think skiing though it sounds like she's she's has been resistant to skiing if they will only do the Hobbies of each other that they like as a trade I am very puzzled why this is framed as a trade can I tell you my head Canon here I think this is like month four of their relationship I think this is early in the relationship yeah because I know I know that the question asker is referring to their partner as their partner but it feels like a thing that comes up very early in the relationship to your point well that's why I'm like but you don't write in to outside magazine if you are only four months into a relationship so maybe though so the question asker says you know this summer I taught him how to climb fast forward a few months it's winter and I'm terrified it feels like they met in like March and then like some of their first things were over the summer and she was like they live in Denver let's say okay great they live in Denver and like oh okay great like let me teach you how to climb and then uh now it's like October and he's like okay great babe like time to go and uh she's like uhoh like what have I committed to here that's just my head Cannon I don't know why I'm picking up on that Vibe but it feels like something that would absolutely come up super early in the relationship where either it's like that's so funny I know nothing about it like tell me about this world that's why I'm surprised she doesn't know how to ski I mean lots of people don't ski is expensive and hard to get to etc etc but you know who would be able to help them and maybe have friends at the mountain and maybe some extra skis that they got for free for winning competitions well let me tell you a little bit perhaps why the question asker has some baggage around this okay okay uh the question continues my parentheses very expensive holy cow skis are getting tuned parentheses is that the right term as I write this so it's too late to back out but it seems like every friend I talk to tells me not to let my significant other teach me to ski they say things like that's how you almost broke up or one time I taught my girlfriend to ski she's not my girlfriend anymore now I don't think we're going to right like what [ __ ] also it's not that expensive if this is your main hobby the We There is a camera in this studio that is $600 yeah we use it for the job we have I also don't know why she would buy skis he probably had skis or got them or he sourced them and he's like oh you got to have good skis that's what I'm saying though it's like what how much is expensive is $500 for skis expensive to one person and very cheap to another person I'm not sure like there's there's lots of there's lots of ways like is this person like doing the equivalent of buying a very expensive road racing bike because they want to like get into cycling for Fitness you know or like have started dating somebody who's into cycling or like like why why does someone buy skis why did someone buy skis like I'm I'm very confused here I skied as a kid we rented them every time because like kids grow and it makes no sense to own skis a bit I skied enough with my mom and my stepdad at the time because my mom was into speed skating and was up in like plased a lot speed skating and also skiing uh I skied so much that I should have bought skis and boots that actually fit me at some point right and I still only rented them a lot but then again it depends if this is your hobby I think you should spend money on it but it's not yet her hobby she's never skied before and she bought skis but she should have I I guess the thing you're saying about that they just started dating is crazy but then why the [ __ ] did you write into Blair braver I am I am so puzzled here but here let's let's finish the question um um which concludes with now I don't think we are going to split over this but I'm very worried about setting realistic expectations for my abilities parenthesis I'm clumsy and risk averse and feeling pressured to perform to the point that I'm no longer having fun what should I do so it feels like there needs to be a conversation she climbs what the [ __ ] is she talking about I don't know Climbers no I don't I no no no I'm calling [ __ ] on question ask her she is a she is a climber enough that when you say climb what do you think she means yeah like rock climbing outside or inside I would say outside that's why I'm thinking Denver you know no I'm I'm with you with Denver I outside climbing you're not risk averse absolutely not not you're not clumsy if you can climb like that's incredibly like you are using your body I I get how if you go from like me nothing to skiing a like you know blue square trail like that's a lot um but this is like this person does a sport that involves potential bottle harm this is not starting from nothing can I also say something yeah I I want to give more credit to again I think that I do this a lot with question asker describing other person because I think that I you got to read of this like literary text right the question asker is an unreliable narrator let's try to fill in boyfriend a little bit more yeah you know what semi-professional skiers everyone other than like Shawn White I'm saying Shawn White cuz I don't know any professional skers but you know who everyone other than Shawn White has to do as a job what ski instructor to make money doing the thing you want to do I'm sure he knows how to teach people how to ski he has probably taught six-year-olds how to ski lots and lots I bet yes and the thing that she's saying about her being clumsy does not make any sense from the fact that she recreationally climbs and I don't holds her body weight on like a piece of putty that's 2 in wide but even if it is indoor which I don't even think it's indoor because she's riding into outside yes like this isn't even like she's at an indoor gym she's not I think she isn't de this is not indoor magazine exactly exactly so it's like no you're not people got in your head your friends got in your head yes about this and also you were hesitant from do picking up the hobby that your your boyfriend is SE was semi-professional at because you were worried about looking stupid in front of him yeah I think really what this is I I totally agree and I feel like skiing is not a thing that you're like naturally gifted at no it takes a ton of work every skier has fallen gotten hurt and to your point like taught people in exchange for their lift passes or to like live the lifestyle where you can become so good at skiing that you're sem you need a kajillion hours in skiing and so I I agree with you on on this like I I don't think that someone who is that good at skiing and has especially skiing as a as a thing like you can be a surfer and just like go out there and figure it out and like never teach others to Surf but like that's not true for skiing you you have a very realistic idea what someone with zero ski experience should do and is capable of yeah yeah I'm just like this whole thing smells fishy I think there's so much more context I I just like fishing for context well let's see what Blair has to say shall we all right Blair is going to be much nicer about this than I was well Blair starts with what is going on with your friends bad ski relationships that's surprising a lot of people learn Hobbies from their Partners that's how most of the world gets their hobbies and a lot of those couples are still together if they break up it's probably not the hobbies that did it so what's going on here yeah your partner with semipro he knows the work it takes to get good and he'll probably have realistic expectations for your progress one of the first tenants of teaching someone a new outdoor skill is to leave them wanting more so if he's a good teacher he'll give you frequent breaks and keep things low pressure you'll probably be sore so plan time in between to recover and then she goes into like this is a good time to like practice communication think about what you want tell him what you expect tell him your fears Etc you know how I know this is going to go badly cuz instead of that she wrote into outside magazine yeah yeah she says skiing is supposed to be fun one of your favorite people in the world is teaching you one of his favorite things that's what I'm saying why did they have to trade on it I'm not sure I'm not sure it feels so susp that feels suspicious it feels very weighted to me and I guess I'm trying to like color in the stuff around what question asker is saying I I'm with you like I again like I this is the thing that I take away most from these replay uh episodes which I really appreciate is like everybody is telling a story from their own perspective and so I could definitely see this being like hey babe I love to teach you how to climb he's like oh my God i' love teach you how to ski do you want to do both like a summer hobby a winter hobby incredible no no no but like you can also see though the scenario where he's like I'll climb but you have to ski and then she goes uh sure oh yeah fine sure good well that won't happen for 4 months cuz it's June that's what the letter I think is leading us to believe and we don't know we simply don't know I guess so I don't know I think I think in all of these questions from the number of times we've done this it's like question asker always wants to look good yeah and every time someone writes into a question you are you the reason why people write into advice columns is because they get to in writing tell their side of the story and no one else gets to weigh in yeah it feels like the question that that they're really asking is my boyfriend is silly for wanting to do this to me right versus I might have made a mistake in agreeing to this what do I do now right it was like I'm worried about looking stupid in front of my boyfriend the question that she's asking is the same thing you said yeah yeah that's why I'm calling [ __ ] on question asker I I like it I wish I knew more uh but I'm curious what uh everybody has to say in the comments hey outside magazine can you do follow-ups please um excuse me excuse me can you stop being a print magazine about the outdoors and new follow-ups well Eric because I ran out of payal articles I did pay $20 for a year of access to outside magazine um and the you didn't have to do that I did and uh I just want you to read the other brands that come with this subscription this is so funny okay you decide to keep this or not but this is like um buying Like a Porn subscription and you get like 20 different wildly variant things underneath it yep it's like outside magazine Trail Forks Pro Gia GPS premium Vell don't know what that is no is that what is pink bike don't know see biking for women I I couldn't tell you it's that's one of the things you get in the porn package Backpacker and yoga journal incredible I like it I love how everything's plus this is outside plus I know it's the plus ification I love outside being conglomerate of all these like smaller outdoor companies 20 bucks a year is pretty good hell yeah um Amanda I feel like I do want to do at the end here um I would like to ask I have a question here to that's written in um coming from uh Eric Silver me like hiy um I got peer pressured by my wife and Perpetual guest on my podcast to have a PS5 I have not plugged it in yet cuz I feel like I need like the right time to do it okay um what do you think I should do um I think that when you're uh spouse and your work spouse say hey bud you deserve to have nice things you deserve to buy yourself a new gaming console once every checks watch four or 5 years uh and you deserve to play a game that you really like because you're an adult who is allowed to spend money on his Hobbies uh you should be like you know what okay and wasn't cool of your wife to Kajol you to do that on public content um true true but you're allowed to you didn't do any public you and Jasper did it in a in a call you didn't you didn't few then and then like let let you think about it um but I am glad you did and I think you should theme a little night in for yourself I think you should get some empanadus from Queens you should get some pizza from Brooklyn you should get whatever makes you feel excited like Miles Morales put on that soundtrack which is a very good one that you love um and really say like yeah like I am committing to this I am plugging it in and uh I am going to play this game that my wife desperately wants to watch me play because it is in Queens yeah uh being 32 is you say what's up Danger plugging in a new console also we didn't have a DVD player so that's helpful oh yeah no that's a good point I did does this one have a disc drive it it it takes Blu-ray yeah okay good good good good um so yeah the next time we do this I will talk I'll probably would in the next episode I'm going to talk to Jasper about the PS5 I just not had not had a chance to do it I'm on the last I have 100% did almost all of Super Mario Wonder it's been out for six days but uh I still have one level left which is so hard and I feel like I need to beat it before I move on I don't know if that's a fallacy I guess I just think that I'm never going to come back to it unless I restart the game so it's why I'm trying to like get it out of the way but it's very very difficult I understand and I I think you're you're totally allowed to want to finish one game before starting another so like I can't in order for me to start the new game I have to like set up a new console which also feels daunting what's up danger what's up danger what's up danger pluging in the HDMI port that sounds like good content yeah yeah I mean I'm excited about it Misha's been telling me about it we just did it on the last episode so I want to play I'm going to play that and I'm going to play God of War Ragnarok which I've somehow resisted a lot of spoilers for um so I'm very it's my P it's my PlayStation exclusive machine man I guess I haven't bought a new console in years like I would no you bought a switch the switch and then the king of games yeah I would count yeah well it's half a work computer and it shared between us it's not it's not simply a a pagin machine but that was still like 20 it was 2020 2020 wow you're right that was like four years ago yeah that's wild you're allow all right that's fine it just it makes more sense to me and hey you're allowed to do it on your timetable there is no right time or wrong time to start a new game Bud okay fine um Amanda where can people find you when you're not doing this podcast I'm so Mickey incredibly Mickey no I'm she's so Mickey um online also I have a resume editing business uh I don't ever talk about it but uh if anyone uh want is a creative professional or a a non-creative professional uh and wants help and res and applying to jobs and being like hey this sucks someone take it 100 bucks and do it for me please uh be resumes.com that's me I'm Eric follow me on Twitter listen to podcast tell people a about it um look at your good fall fits on Tik Tok I I need to post again on Tik Tok I'm too tired to post do what's danger do the what's up danger no I don't I got it's like edited and set it up I'm tired um all right yeah I forgot how these episodes end up but uh you know there's nothing in the man you throw to me to make me say a oh that's right I usually do that and Amanda we say the thing that we always say at the end of these episodes what's up danger [Music] [Applause] [ __ ] games and feelings is produced by Eric Silver and edited and mixed by Mesa stanle the theme music is returned to French toast castle by Jeff Bryce and the art was created by Jessica Boyd find transcripts for this episode and all episodes at our website gamesand feelings.com until next time press X to enjoy the [Music] podcast