Sunday 19th March - Be Real - Ian Harding

foreign [Music] and a very warm welcome to C3 Sunderland online we are thrilled that you are choosing to join us in this space and we pray that the time that you spend with us today and whatever time you happen to be watching this really blesses you really encourages you and really helps you grow in your faith my name is Kat and along with my husband Ian it's our privilege to pastor this incredible Community right in the heart of the wonderful city of Sunderland as a church we exist for Christ for people and for our city and our passion is to help one another grow in our Vital connection with God our Vital connection with each other and our Vital connection with the world around us with all of that in mind we've got some great things coming up in the life of our church that we'd love to let you know about to help you do just that firstly next Wednesday slash Thursday um we are a part of an incredible Global Community called the C3 movement there's over 550 churches all around the world and next Wednesday the 29th of March we are going to be uniting together for 24 hours of prayer as part of this there's going to be two online Zoom meetings and that you are most welcome to join and participate in you can jump on our website to get the links for those and why not join us as we lift up our churches around the world as we pray for salvation as we petition heaven to see God's kingdom come here in our cities all across the world um the timing of it the first meeting is going to be 9 00 p.m on Wednesday the 29th of March and that one because of the timing of it is going to flow straight after As We Gather for groups so if you'd love to come and join us at our home we would love to welcome you coming to join us for groups at 7 30 and then stick around for This Hour of Prayer from 9pm until 10 pm alternatively you're really welcome to join from home and then also on Thursday the 30th of March at 9 00 a.m if you have the availability on the day you're really welcome to hop on again just check out our website on the coming up page for those links the second thing that I want to let you know about is that on Sunday the 9th of April that is Easter Sunday and we're going to be gathering for a really special night of worship we're having an incredible venue called 1719 it used to be Holy Trinity Church down in the East End of the city and we are going to be filling that space with worship our vision for the night is to create a thin place where Heaven touches Earth and we just want to make space to worship space to encounter space to meet with the Living God as we celebrate Resurrection Sunday that's going to be at 5 p.m on Eastern Monday the 9th of April we'd love to invite you to come and join us well we're in a series right now called the second space which is all about exploring the way that Jesus invites us not to just stay in the crowds but to come closer and draw near to him and his community and today Ian is going to be continuing this with a message called be real we pray this really encourages and blesses you this week and once you've watched it why not think about coming and joining us in person this coming Sunday we meet night at 10 30 P.M every single week at an incredible venue called Diego's join in the Sunnyside area of town again you can jump on our website and check out all of the details we pray this blesses you we pray this encourages you let's get into the word now if you have been with us um at four a while now you will know that we are in the middle of a series a series that we are calling the second space where we're exploring the idea that Jesus actually wants to meet us in more than one space Jesus wants us obviously to encounter him so we encounter and we connect with Jesus in our Sunday Gathering but actually our faith is deepened and it grows as we come together in smaller environments like our groups and what we're saying is is that we believe that it's a deliberate design of God and we see it in Scripture that actually we are supposed to be able to encounter God in both of those places and that when we do actually when we encounter God in this second space our faith goes from something whereby God has revealed something to us that it gets worked into our life and we are actually transformed by the power of the Holy Spirit which brings us very nicely to um this week and this week um I want to speak um on the idea of um the second space being a place of formation so um in a preach that I'm entitled entitling be real oh that's right yeah now those of you have a certain social media app called be real um we'll notice that I am I am using the r e a l version not the real version um uh from the app this is not for copyright reasons guys this is to do with what I want to speak about and I want to give you the big idea kind of upfront so that you realize it um and here it is God cannot redeem or form who you pretend to be [Music] in other words when it comes to the second space one of the things that we have to learn to do and I use that word deliberately is we have to learn how to be real and therefore we're going to need to learn to stop hiding let me talk a little bit about hiding for a while who is the kid ever played the game hide and seek or if you're if for our North American friends hide and go seek did you call it hide and go seek yeah I always find that I was like I was like I don't understand why the word go is in there it's kind of like suggested in the word seek but sure we'll just go with it um by the way I would like to point out I love all North Americans I am not mocking I just find your use of the English language confusing um but moving on so I don't know if you found this but like as a kid I mean I say as a kid probably even right now if someone said right let's go play hide and seek I'll be like I'm kind of more up there than I really ought to be as a 46 year old man um hide and seek I remember playing hide and hideous as a kid a lot growing up um basically because this was in the era before tablets and before phones so we basically played like games that involved actual people in real places it was amazing um welcome to the 80s guys um so like we played hide and seek a lot and because we played a lot um you you found over a while that when you play a kind of a game like that with people you begin to recognize certain personality traits um I'm just gonna like list some of them maybe you'll be able to find yourself amongst these number one I this person is the giggler this was the one who was so excited about playing hide and seek that even when they got hidden in a particular place they were just like and you'd be like they would literally be found within seconds because as soon as the person had characters were under their coming ready or not like that person would just like giggle from wherever they were hidden so loudly that they were like I found you and they're like I know they didn't even care they didn't even care that they were found with them in like 20 seconds thus defeating the entire point of the game you can tell what kind of person I was when it came to hide and seek and then there's the did they even try kind of personality uh this person they were tricky um this was the one who who chose a hiding spot that was so obvious you were you did wonder like were you even up for this game and yeah I realized it was probably not they were probably the kind of one he was like the elder brother or the elder sister who'd been kind of like cajoled into it they didn't really want to play but they kind of understood that for like you know like family Harmony it was probably a good idea to go along with it and so therefore they were like I'm going to choose the curtains and yes you can see my feet and I don't even care you know and then when the person came and finally got found you they were like because again they weren't even bothered then there is the shuffler this was the person who wanted to hide really really well but basically because of means of hyperactivity are incapable of remaining still and Silent for any extended period of time so like after about a minute they're like I can't stop I'm going to move and then they moved you know like yeah or their knee would like move or something like this and they were just therefore find themselves being fine then there's the reluctant one and again this was the individual who was a good deal older you know like they're nine everyone else is five they're like I don't even know why mum and dad brought me to this party and now I'm playing hide and seek I'm so over this but again they're like but I'm not old enough to be an adult yet and so I can't go into the adult table and I need to play hide and seeks you know because and every single time I go to Mum Mum's like no go off and play with your cousins and you're like I don't want to play with my cousins this game the boring yeah you know I can see by the smiles around you've all been there um and then of course I count to myself in this category the expert this was the one who was so committed who was so committed you know they would probably like no it didn't matter which friend's house they went to they knew the three or four top hiding spots in every single household of their friends and they were the kind of person who they're like do you know what um you know like when you go around to like your friend's house and you like go I really probably shouldn't like uh go into like the parents room or the brother and sister's room but they're like but the best hiding spot is there I know that they're sliding wardrobe probably can fit me and like they were going to like the parents room and then like literally get themselves in the smallest spot or they climb underneath the beds you know like in between kind of like the the Ikea boxes that are there I kind of like and then they're like and then and at that moment they'd be like I'm now going to slow my breathing and they're like I am a wizard I can do this it's smart watches have been around at that point they'd be like I have now slowed my heart rate to 32 beats you know I am disappointed in myself I was going for 14. you know and when somebody checks for their post they're like there was no pulse there was nothing happening because they'd like slowed their heart rate that much you know like those kinds of people who are who were such an expert that the Seeker after about like 10 or 15 minutes would be like I've just given up there's no point they're no longer in this house you know they've obviously gone somewhere else and like 45 minutes later you would kind of like extricate yourself from your expert hiding place going are we still playing you know like and everyone's literally played like 14 games in between yeah but you decide to give you decide to give yourself a badge anyway because no one was able to find you um you know those are the kinds of hidings now as an adult I can understand that the expert mindset does have some issues um largely you know like your parents might leave without you because you've been hiding that long I mean not good parents but you know like sometimes your parents like 45 minutes you know without them could be we'll come back in an hour we know they're in the house somewhere oh sorry moving on I'm but I don't know about you but I've realized like for most people like even if you kind of you you go through that season where you're like you're really up for the game and then you go through a season where you're no longer up for that game I think it's because there is a part of the human psyche that just I think like we love the idea of hiding we like hiding from things in actual fact as humans I think um I think one of the things I've realized is is that we kind of excel in human nature in terms of hiding we're very very good at hiding um now it's absolutely fine when it's a game but when it comes to kind of like real life we can find that we find ways of hiding too so for example sometimes when we don't really want to face life we hide in our work because it's actually easier to hide in work than it is to deal with stuff we may hide behind our accomplishments you know I wonder which one of you because I think we all have hiding mechanisms it's just that they turn up differently in our lives in some cases this is what I'm noticing a lot we hide behind our phones so like I could put my phone down and engage in a conversation with a person but it's probably easier just to scroll Instagram we may hold behind a role that we have so we allow that role to become something that we occupy so that we don't actually have to talk about how we're really feeling and how things are really going um we may hide from difficult and awkward conversations often you know like the kind of person you're like when it gets you know when it gets a bit too real you're like cool gotta go somewhere right now love you bye sometimes I think we hide behind if you're wired this way we hide behind people pleasing so rather than saying no we say yes always because we can't bear the thought of someone like being disappointed in this it's like I don't want that disappointment and the weird thing is is that they're not actually disappointed with us they're like we're like can you come now we're like I'm really sorry I can't they're like cool and then they move on and it literally it doesn't affect the relationship in any way but like we're literally for hours like unpacking them oh my goodness that was so disappointing me I saw it in their eyes I saw it in their face oh my goodness I'm an awful person I should probably text them should I text them I don't know whether I should text them yes I should text them I'm definitely texting them definitely definitely definitely texting them you know spend 45 minutes crafting crafting you know like very positive you know life-affirming message because I'm gonna send it decides not to send it delete message then Checks phone undo Just Gonna Keep it just in case I decide to send it three days later decides I should probably I should probably not send it actually now there's no point sending it because there's no context for some of us and we hide what we truly think from people that we care about because we're afraid of being rejected and when I get it if I actually tell them what I really think In This Moment what if they don't like me anymore what if they reject me sometimes we hide behind business well like I I could do that I could get involved in that friendship I could I could get involved in deeply in my relationship with God I could get involved in deepening my relationships within church but you know what actually I'm just really busy right now and don't get me wrong I don't hear what I'm not saying like we actually all do have busy seasons but I think one when the first response on your lips to any kind of interaction is I'm really sorry I'm too busy then I think you need to honestly look at your life and go actually am I using business to hide sometimes I think we hide behind our struggles and sometimes we hide our struggles because we don't want people to think that we've not got it all together and I think particularly as Christians this is a trap that we can definitely fall into they were like but I'm supposed to be Christian in the workplace how can I possibly say I'm actually struggling right now you know that'll make Jesus look bad I don't want to make Jesus look bad I'm going to pretend hi everyone oh you're always so relentlessly positive [Music] side so we begin to live like this we begin to live this inauthentic unreal life and counterfeit life because we're afraid that if somebody sees our struggles that somehow Jesus is not glorified sometimes we may hide our true feelings and just pretend that everything's okay sometimes we hide our face we're like I don't know if I can speak into that I don't think I can share with people that I'm a Christian and this one's particularly for everyone who's British in the room um we hide things behind a mask of politeness I'm really angry I love you so much and again it's particularly difficult I think in Christian context because we're like in Christian Community we're supposed to be brothers and sisters and I'm supposed to love everyone and like but I and I have very ungodly thoughts about them you know like and his thing I'm not saying that we shouldn't be working on that again like I'm not saying that we should just like turn around to people and just like you know let's go you really annoy me you're a very unpleasant person there I said it everyone else thinks it you know like this is not this is not what we're called to but at the same time I don't think that we're called to as it were like hide behind a mask of politeness actually I think what we're called to is we're called to go on a journey together whereby we can unpack how we're really feeling and actually get breakthrough as we do that together come on you see here's what I know to be true hiding is a defense mechanism that we learned that is hardwired into our DNA if you look at Genesis 3 it is the first thing that Adam and Eve do having embraced sin the first thing Adam and Eve do is hide and they hide from God and then they cover themselves and as human beings We have basically been playing the same trick every single generation by Nature our unredeemed nature we are all hiders and yet deep within us we want to be found we want to be found but also we're afraid of if we're found what will God say and even when we've accepted Jesus we bring that into our relationship with Jesus because it's a default setting and when things get complicated when things get difficult in life when we Face uncomfortable emotions we Face uncomfortable truths about ourselves somebody says something to us and there's a feeling that comes out of absolutely nowhere and we suddenly realize that we thought we dealt with doubt and forgiveness but we absolutely haven't we thought we dealt with that stuff from our past from the way in which we were brought up but we absolutely haven't and we don't know what to do with it I want to say Here and Now for every single one of us and this is every single one of us in here there is an area in your life where you naturally will want to hide and I want to say to every single one of you that the plan and the purpose of God is that you would get free from where you are hiding that Jesus has come to give you the truth and the truth has come to set you free you are not supposed to walk with wounds of the past you are supposed to walk as a brand new creation you are called you are destined to be you know renewed by the Holy Spirit and to be redeemed the reason why we are called the redeemed people of God is the fact that there are things that are lost there are things that have happened to us but God wants to take them and God wants to use them and God wants to pour His holy spirit on us and God wants to heal Us in areas where we are broken so we may become whole do you know what whole people become whole people are able to be holy because when we are whole we know how to live apart and separate devoted towards God fully and completely and when we live like that we will be a people who actually are full of the Holy Spirit and full of the fruits of the spirit it will be a journey but it's a journey that we are called to go on and this is why the second space is vital because I'm with you like this is not a space where we should just be like I don't like getting up and go hi my name's Ian I'd like to confess all of my sins in front of all of you I mean don't get me wrong like this kind of size it's probably about doable but but you know what I mean like imagine getting up on a stage in front of a thousand people I'm confessing your deepest darkest sins actually what the Bible advocates for is the Bible advocate for the fact that we need to be in relationship with people genuine relationship with people where we can actually bring our real selves to those people and that they can actually speak love and wisdom and correction and hope and prayer over us so that we can get free that's why we need the second space because the second space is where we actually learn how to be real you know like when someone asks you that question how are you doing you're like yeah fine good good thanks is there anything more British than that the question how are you going good thanks please move on do not dig any Depot do not ask any follow-up questions I have covered it in the good thanks the thanks was this conversation is over let's talk about something else I don't know a friend's episode maybe [Music] um now I want to speak into this because we need this second space because the alternative is just to the alternative is just too awful the alternative is is that we live a lie and we never show anyone who we really are and we keep who we really are from everyone and I don't know about you but not only is it like theologically a terrible idea I just think from a human point of view it's a terrible idea like who wants to walk through the entirety of life without anyone knowing who you really are anyone and it's from John 21 verses 17 to 18. I'm going to read it from the NLT just to set the context this is the moment Peter has denied Jesus and so ashamed so ashamed of what he's done and having been called out of fishing by Jesus himself guess what he's done he's gone back to fishing and he's gone back to fishing because he's hiding let's read it we pick up the story from the moment where some Giza said to them throw your nets on the other side and you'll catch you'll catch lots of fish but at the moment they don't know it's Jesus but we do verse seven then the disciple Jesus loved that's John by the way he likes to talk about himself um said to Peter it is the Lord when Simon Peter heard that he was the Lord he put on his tunic for he had stripped for work jumped into the water and headed to shore the others stayed with the boat and pulled the loaded net to the shore for they were only about a hundred yards from Shore when they got there they found breakfast waiting for them I love that about Jesus not only does Jesus turn up but he's already got breakfast going for them that's what I'm talking about fish cooking over a charcoal fire and some bread probably chips as well and maybe some tartar sauce that's what I would have liked to have had moving on verse 10 bring some of the fish you've just caught Jesus said so Simon Peter went aboard and drank the net to the shore there were 153 large fish and yet the net hadn't torn now come and have some breakfast Jesus said just a side note you'll notice that for this conversation where does Jesus decide to have this awkward and difficult conversation does he have it in a room full of lots of people no he has it round a table the most transformative and formative conversations you will have will not happen in an environment like this where you are just listening to me the most transformative informative conversations you will have with any other Christian are around a table when you are just talking about life and Jesus invites us to share that with him because we've got to believe that when we meet intentionally around a table guess who's there amongst us Jesus is Jesus is there amongst us because he promised he would be so you've got to imagine every single time we come to groups and we share that meal together Jesus is there with us the reason why we do the Last Supper why are we why do we do the Last Supper because we are reminding ourselves that every single time we gather around a table we gather around a table in Authority in under the adoption of who we are as children of God because Jesus is there amongst us and he is cooking up a storm now that storm is not food like it is he has in like physical food but it is spiritual food every single time we come around a table we should have an expectation that there is spiritual food there is something that God wants to speak through us to another person in that room and God wants to vitally use us to set someone else free you are the vehicle that Jesus wants to use so that other people can actually step into more of who they really are you are the person that God wants to use so that you can become real so that we can become more real look at this Jesus said none of the disciples dared to ask him who are you they knew it was the Lord notice at this point they're like pretty sure it's Jesus but not 100 certain I think sometimes that's like you know that when God speaks to us we're like I think this is Jesus but I'm not 100 sure yeah and that's okay then Jesus served in the bread and the fish now it's again Jesus serving them when we turn up our table Jesus says us this was the third time Jesus had appeared to his disciples since he had been raised from the dead after breakfast Jesus asked Simon Peter Simon son of John do you love me more than his yes Lord Peter reply you know I love you then feed my Lambs Jesus told them Jesus repeated the question Simon son of John do you love me yes Lord Peter said you know I love you then take care of my sheep Jesus said a third time he asked him Simon son of John do you love me Peter was hurt that word in the original Greek literally means grieved or cut to the quick or cut to the sword so it's like kind of the pain that you would have if somebody literally got a sword and kind of like slightly stabbed you with it not all the way not all the way just a flesh wound the point I'm trying to make is is that like for Peter in this moment it feels like a wound like it's it's raw and vulnerable and it's painful and he says Peter was hurt that Jesus asked the question a third time he said Lord you know everything you know that I love you Jesus said then feed my sheep and then look at How It Ends I tell you the truth when you were young you were able to do as you liked you dressed yourself you went wherever you wanted to go but when you are old when you are mature as a follower of Christ you will stretch out your hands and others will dress you and take you where you don't want to go I just got some quick thoughts to share with you as we finish up here I'm gonna put this here because I'm just gonna I know I'm gonna mess that up I'm a very special person guys awesome so here's what I want to here's what I want to unpack here I want to I'm going to look at this passage and I want to look at how this passage models how we can actually be real it's got a couple of points to make a couple of questions to ask you number one do you realize Jesus has already come looking for you [ __ ] um I love this that the background of this story is that Peter feels like an utter failure he feels like he has betrayed everything that he has stood for and that therefore he is gone into the place where he is hiding in the occupation that he knows he goes back to what he knows because he sees no future in what he was called to it's like he's like Jesus I know that you said that upon me you would build the church and the gates of hell would not Prevail against it but I can't see how that can possibly happen right now how can I be that kind of person and so he goes into hiding and it makes me realize that one of the most incredible things about God is that wherever we find ourselves hiding God does not leave us there God comes looking Genesis 3 while Adam and Eve hide God comes looking and notice the words that he says he says Adam where are you and not because God doesn't know where Adam is it's so that Adam will know the voice of the father will always be there calling out and saying where are you where are you like Caitlyn where are you great where are you and what it demonstrates to me is the fact that sometimes I think when we mess up we believe the lie that that's it we don't can I free you right now you are going to mess up so much over the course of a long life you might as well just embrace it because we're human and we are we live in the tension of the now and not yet of the kingdom of God yes we are Sons and Daughters of the Living God but we have not been fully formed into the image of Christ that is the journey that we are on we are becoming more like Christ but we are not fully christ-like yet therefore slip UPS messes they're part of the journey the part of what we're called to the important point is that we need to recognize that when we mess up Jesus has already come looking for us he didn't walk away he came looking it might have been through another person where the other person was like they ring you up and go I've not seen you in church for a few weeks I've not seen you in groups where have you been they're not asking you they're not asking you to put some kind of shame on you they're asking you because they are they are being used by God in that moment to invite you back to the space where you recognize that God is there and he wants to meet with you and he wants to transform you and he wants to show you that your failure is not the end of the story the second thing we see here is is that Peter runs towards Jesus look at this when Simon Peter heard that it was the law this is verse seven he put on his tunics this is an outer kind of tunic that they would wear but obviously it's really really long and if it gets wet it's going to kind of drown you so don't wear that if you're a fisherman so and he'd done that because he's stripping off to do this work this this hard work of like pulling in the Nets but he literally he literally puts on his tunic in other words what he's going to wear on Shore and he jumps into the water and he heads for sure what I love about Simon Peter is is that you know what that guy messes up like he's the most encouraging disciple that is in the gospels I think he's there for one reason mainly probably me but I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure because like I don't know about you but like I'm not exactly a catalog of disasters but I've definitely messed up enough times to kind of go oh God I'm so sorry I've literally messed up again and like God's like don't worry I'm here um but then I think one of the things that I learned really early on was like when you mess up the one thing that you should do is run towards God do not run away from God if you're not hide from God he's everywhere what's the point God I'm gonna run I'm gonna run away I'm going to run away into my dysfunction and start spending lots of money that I don't have like um like God's like yeah I'm still there still there telling you this is a really bad idea like you're hike okay or you know like like maybe you're like chasing relationship after the relationship as a relationship God's like yep still there I haven't gone away you know like I have put as a guarantee a deposit on the inside of you of my Holy Spirit guess what that means you and me we live together right now you are my home I'm there yes I may not like what you're doing but I'm still here I'm always here what we need to do is we need to decide okay God I'm tired of running it's time for me to run towards you and the thing that I want to kind of finish up on today is this I'm going to use an old school word that we don't use very much but I think it's really important I think what this story shows us in terms of a really important Dynamic that we need to have if we're going to be real so that we can actually be transformed into the people of Christ is we need to embrace repentance now just in case you don't know what this word means the word repentance means a complete reversal of Direction it's where both in our thinking but also in our actions we decide to do an about face and if we've been heading in One Direction we head in the other yeah now repentance within the church I kind of feel like it's got a really bad reputation you know it's got this idea of like being really heavy and serious but you know what like when you actually read about repentance in the Bible do you know do you know what emotion is mostly associated with the repentance in the Bible Joy freedom because what these people have done is they've decided you know what I'm sick of hiding I'm sick of running I'm sick of building my life on on a self-confidence that does not work because that's what's happening in this story if you look at verses 15 to 18 you'll see this is what's taking place all these questions that Jesus asked us do you love me do you love me do you love me three times three times to for every single betrayal because he sees in Peter here's a guy who is truly repentant and he's like because of your repentance I can restore you back to your purpose I can restore you back to what was lost I can restore you back to your identity your true identity your identity in Christ and it's so important that we grasp the power of repentance because what repentance does is it allows us to cancel any permission that we have given to ideas thoughts feelings that are not of God and we get to cancel the permissions I say nope you no longer have authority as a voice in my world I have repented of that attitude and I am embracing the voice of Jesus and we know it's powerful because look at this Verse 18 says this I tell you the truth Jesus speaking when you were young you were able to do as you liked you dressed yourself you went wherever you wanted to go but when you are old when you are mature you will stretch out your hands others will dress you and take you where you don't want to go repentance gives us the power to actually accept the things that are difficult [Music] because it's actually the difficult things that grow us I love what Jesus is saying here because he's not just restoring Peter but he's restoring Peter's purpose he's saying do you remember when I said to you that the devil had asked for you but I prayed for you I pray that you would stand firm in the trial and Peter you will stand firm and even though he denies him three times in this moment as Jesus restores him because Peter has repented Jesus says the word I spoke is still true the word I spoke of you still has power you might think that it's over but it's not over I have spoken to you in the word that I have spoken is true on authentic and it will endure now I Rise and step into all that you are and this moment that's what happens with Peter he realizes that when Jesus said you will stand firm under the trial he thought it was based on his love for Jesus but what this sows is and what Jesus is saying here saying no you got it wrong this is not based on the steadfastness of your love for me this is based on the steadfastness of my love for you and my love for you will not run dry my love for you will not fail my love for you will stand the trial it will stand the test and it will reach into it will reach into your dysfunction it will reach into the broken and hidden areas of your life and it is capable of renewing and restoring and Reviving what has been lost I want you to recognize that as you repent what is going to come upon you is a brand new anointing and in this moment I don't know about you but I feel like God is like is like stirring something on the inside of me at the moment where he's saying to me and he's asking me the question he's saying Ian are there things on the inside of your attitudes thoughts ideas have you really repented of those because until you repent of them the power The Authority the restoration that I have in mind for you cannot come upon you fully repentance is supposed to bring healing and set us free let's not make it this weird heavy thing let's regain a Biblical vision of repentance which is about restoration and realignment and repurposing and Reconciliation and healing another