Love is Blind UK Reunion Show - Can Catherine Get Over Adoption Trauma and Apologize

AK uh somebody woke me up really early this morning to watch The Love is Blind finales that dropped in America at 3:00 a.m. no but it was a very exciting finale we had made some videos and predictions you can check it out on the Maya blog about what would happen and what relationships and we got I think about 80% right on our predictions a week ago on who would go to the Altar and say yes or no and uh what' you think of the the final yeah I think it was pretty we were on Target but I have to say I was surprised at um what a nailbiter it felt like even though I had predictions and even though we had discussed it there were moments that felt very tense for me and I was sort of anxious for these couples like we were really right there with them right yeah and I think the Demi part we nailed right away and she said it beautifully and how they just detached or with kindness and love from each other as opposed to the American versions that we you know of the show that we've seen and I think CAD at the end obviously the most controversial couple was saved till the end almost got a whole 25 or 30 minutes and you know she had a line in there about being adopted and those that didn't watch the show was a common theme with this uh woman that she was adopted at 11 weeks old and because of that she needs a lot of attention she needs a lot of external validation she needs to be told how pretty or how great she is by her partner and she openly acknowledges this and it kind of struck me because it reminded me of a conversation we had had about the phrase I love you but and how people in relationships can use that as a excuse to do what they want kind of whether you have boundaries or not but it would be I'm going to do X Y and Z and if you complain but I love you but and that's why I can get do it and it's the same thing with an apology So when you say I am sorry if there's a comma in the word but next it's not a true apology that's still you holding on to some pain and wanting to transfer it a true apology is just the statement I'm sorry for X Y and Z with a period if you put a button there you're still not f letting it go and giving that person closure so if you're saying in this case Catherine was I was adopted so she has a whole discourse behind that at the age of 32 or 33 it's like no you're choosing that every day you're you're very true you were adopted at 11 weeks old by the way but now at 33 you're choosing to be this victim of it or this personification of it that these things are now required of someone who I meet as a partner so curious as to your take on putting a butt in an apology or and I love you or is a reason to act a certain way and falling back on that right so Catherine's a interesting character in all of this and we hold her up not to shame her because she's obviously in so much pain we hold her up because we can all see that and I wish Katherine would come and do the Maya program because quite frankly she doesn't have to be in this much pain she's carried it for long enough and it's time for her to just drop it to the side because it's really messing with her life and her happiness she said another line in in the finale where she said she kept she needed a lot of reassurance and she said very specifically I'm adopted therefore I need a lot of assurance and I think we can understand that and honestly as humans and as a woman in this world I've needed assurance I've had anxious attachment I've been wey of dating I've been been worried about being rejected like all all of those things things are just human feelings but she very specifically has assigned this back to her being adopted and it's it's it's a reason but she's using it as an excuse and it's actually getting in her way and she doesn't need to like you will still be adopted you will still have whatever baggage that comes with and I can't understand it personally because I'm not I'm not adopted but she also has an opportunity to say and I've overcome this and so in order to do that I see Catherine as somebody who needs to confront this pain and needs to ask it some questions and thoroughly investigate it and then ask herself does it serve you like what are you holding on to why are you holding on to this what purpose does it serve in your life to hold on to this and is it maybe a way to not get close to people is it a way for you to protect yourself or is it a way for you to make excuses so that you don't have to do the work yourself sometimes people don't want to do the work of getting wealth and and and it's understandable because that's hard right but sometimes we look to other relationships to heal us to complete us to make us whole and it never works Catherine can be made whole on her own if she does the Maya program yeah and I I agree that you hit the nail right on the head at the end like no one is out there Freddy or another person to complete you to make you need these things from another person right for this attention or this self validation like nope stop right there you don't and you're right like millions of people are adopted and again 11 weeks old this was not later in life type thing and there are traumas capital T's that people work through and get help for to have a happy and you know pain free from that experience or work through it and to carry that around in a burden as we mentioned in another video at this age to just constantly say like this is how I am now no you choose every day to wake up decide how you want to feel about being adopted and how you were treated in your adoption so that's certainly workable where the next person if it's not Freddy and they they don't end up together it appears they won't at least as of today um you know it's walking into like should know like I'm not here to complete you right and I'm not here to validate you we need to validate and complete yourself and then you won't be in the position asking someone to give something that they're not born to do or required to do and Freddy wasn't even saying that this was an obstacle for him you know we're all kind of like uh Freddy red flag maybe this should be an obstacle for you but his whole thing was that they had different Lifestyles and then he wasn't sure after a short amount of time if their Lifestyles would Mes in the real world that they just haven't been given the opportunity to see that through I have a theory on why and You' you've asked this question why does Catherine still hold on so tightly to this adoption narrative and my theory is that it actually is the source of her pain and and not because in of itself it was this terrible thing obviously was adopted by a loving couple that really loves her and you know we don't we don't know the ins and outs of their life but from what we've seen she was very much wanted and and she has a loving Mom and Dad the thing that's happened with Catherine is that she has she's created an entire narrative around it and she has played it in her head over and over and over again and any time I think Catherine's like um frontal lobe her executive functioning wants to say hey Katherine we're kind of awesome we're beautiful inside and outside we we're really nice to people we're caring and loving I think we're okay this primitive part of her brain shuts it all down and says actually no we're not remember that thing that happened and the answer is no you don't remember the thing that happened but she's but he goes in the room and actually talks to her and I have never seen that that takes courage because you know you're not very popular regardless if it was the right decision or not you just broke her heart and that's their daughter he goes and talks to her parents explains himself in a very gentlemen classy honest way and then goes and talks to her in the room of the absolute heartbreak so Freddy is by far a standup honest good human being and did what was right for him and her um if he's not ready then they're not ready so he did the right thing and then Whitten actually had the compassion and empathy to talk to the three most hurt people in the world by that decision and explain himself in a very kind and loving way so Props to Freddy I'm sure he'll do okay in life yeah Freddy has 138,000 followers on Instagram like three four five times as much as any of the other cast members so I think Freddy's doing just fine and I saw a photo of him earlier walking in London crowd like the Beatles with a crowd of 35 women chasing him on Betty yeah probably right right all right we're wrapping up there good job Freddy that's our summary Love is Blind UK season what that's a