Heather Dubrow On Shannon Beador & Alexis Bellino Tension, RHOC Cast Drama, Parenting, & More

well Heather welcome back it is always such a pleasure to see you oh I love seeing you I love speaking with you and I'm so the season is good yeah it's real good how are how are you feeling about it because I got to be honest after last season I was like I wonder if Heather's really going to come back because it was it was rough after last season it was rough it was hard and at the reunion you know after the reunion I still didn't feel like I got what I was expecting I don't know if I had resolv from absolutely everyone but I had to make a conscious choice to say okay well I need to you know clean slate this whole thing and figure out who my real friends are yeah who are the real friends I well it's a good question because then the thing is you live it you feel one way then you watch it back and you feel yeah you feel a little differently sure so what ultimately made your decision to come back this season you know was it was it even a question no it really wasn't a question for me I mean yes it was a very difficult season but at the end of the day these are my friends this is I I mean of course I'm going to come back yeah you know you said perspective changed after last season obviously what happened with Terry what how did it kind of shift for you so I think as you get older in general you get better perspective right you become less reactive you you realize you know what's really important in life and you lean into gratitude and all of those things I feel like I was always that kind of person um but after after last season and then after Terry having that mini stroke it really sort of recalibrated me in a way of okay wait a minute I really want people in my life that are positive happy people and I already knew what was important but trust me I lean in even further towards my family yeah so did it make going into this season easier for you then having this I mean I think so you watched tonight's episode so I mean I I don't remember if it was shown but when you know we're at the golf event everything I I said you know my husband had a stroke like I I don't have time for this this is and it wasn't about you know deflecting off of what was going on or anything like that it was literally me standing there saying this is so trivial and unimportant and not even a good in a good like Petty drama fight just really nonsensical I didn't have time for that you have no and then well I guess you got to realize like you said you get this perspective like I don't need I don't need to engage in this no yeah were you surprised obviously we're talking about Katie and how she came in the season obviously she's new and you know you have said it before like I thought like you'd come into a group and want to make friends do you feel like she almost came in with an agenda to kind of hurt you well not kind of definitely I I mean I mean I don't know if the timeline is is that understandable yet and it and it shall be okay but truthfully Katie months before joining our group months before meeting me was talking to people to try to dig things up on me went to Sutton's Christmas party obviously with some sort of agenda and there's really there's very you know conflicting stories apparently you know she had told Gina the day after that party oh I saw Heather and Gina told me and I said oh why didn't she say hi and she goes oh she didn't want to bother you and then it turned into this I snubbed her I mean listen do you think that if I thought someone was coming onto our I don't wouldn't snub someone at a party or anywhere anyway that's not in my nature polite person but I mean tfold if I thought you were coming on my show wouldn't I bend over backwards to be nice of course I would of course you would what happened with the whole tagged picture oh thing yeah so it was just an accident so um I had looked Katie up on Social cuz Gina had talked about her and I knew that she might be coming on the show there was another girl who they were talking to about coming on the show I looked her up as well but I don't take a deep dive look oh she's cute she's got kids all you know whatever but my social media person was putting my birthday post and what I'm assuming happened is she was tagging my dress my hair my whatever and I was wearing a Javan dress and the Gin I'm sure Janella popped up and she just hit it back AC but you want to know what's so funny is that a few days later Katie was setting a text out to the group and she put the wrong Heather oh interesting on the group text and so she had to sort of text me on the side and say oh sorry I I I added the wrong and I go that's okay and she goes oh I was just doing too many things at the same time and I go I get it it's it's okay but she didn't see how those things were comparable but what was also strange to me with the tagging thing obviously it was a mistake it was a picture of me by myself but was it offensive yeah no I mean I would think someone would be happy if they got tagged because then people might look them up follow them you're welcome by the way won't make that mistake again were you shocked that these paparazzi photos this was such a topic of conversation like you said it was so trivial it really didn't mean anything but why do you think that she was so hellbent on making you admit something that she thought was true I I I mean it's like the question is why why does she care why was this important in her life and why was this important in her life months and months and months before even meeting me you know I I feel like obviously she wanted to be on our show and she wanted to come in and make a big splash I'm not sure that was the right Splash and you know what's sad for me is that I was really excited to meet her we actually after my new year new you party I texted her welcome to the show I'm so excited you're here and we went back and forth several times so it's so not cool that we were having these nice exchanges and I think we're getting to know each other and going to be friends and she's trying to you know stir up all this stuff about me it's disappointing it's disappointing but you always leave it with class you you thanked her for the golf event you didn't take your Dom back which no I didn't it was so cute it had little golf te's in it it was really cute it was really cute you know what was but how funny was my sweater I guess oh yes it was was that foreshadowing that's right I had no idea I just thought it was funny I bought it off Instagram and I thought this is so cute and then when I heard we were doing this golf event thing it looked like a golf sweater and I thought it was cheeky and funny I had no idea how apropo it would be right it always always comes together you know what was interesting to me cuz I think you said in an interview recently that you and Tamara very close friends still on good terms but she got so excited when she found out that Katie had like this information on you during that girl's night did that kind of take you off guard a little bit oh it devastated me did it yeah I shed some tears that night did you here's the thing I understood when the girls were all at the bar that at first they were laughing and caring on about it because they were told this information in a very salacious way so understood that but then I kept thinking why is no one asking to see proof why is no one vetting this information and why is everyone so gleefully enjoying this but the scene with Emily and Tamara that followed was very upsetting to me and I have heard from Tamara you know she texted me and was very apologetic Tamara and I have been friends for a long time I am very upset about all of that but that's something we're going to just have to figure out and that doesn't mean mean we're not friends anymore it doesn't mean I'm mad it means I'm I'm upset yeah I'm upset are you upset with Emily or do you kind of expect that because I know that two of you are starting to get back on track a little bit and but I think she said I would like to see fancy pants with her pants down right but isn't that a terrible thing I mean that who wants to hang out with people that want your demise it's like Shadow freid on steroids like I don't I'm not that person I want my friends to succeed I want everyone to be happy and move forward in their life it it didn't feel good no and and I don't I didn't think it was funny and some I I think Emily is very funny and I know I'm sensitive and I always try to take a step back and be like am I overreacting to that but I felt like a lot of those statements were really mean-spirited yeah no definitely and I haven't heard from her and you haven't heard from no but you did hear from Tamara several times several times and yeah Gina and shann yeah were you I feel like gin has been sticking up for you though especially when it comes to Katie I spoke to her as well and she's like after this season I don't know if I can really trust Katie anymore but she lies but she Gina no no Katie yes right so I don't know if she she can trust her was it nice to see Gina taking your sides considering Katie was her friend I mean yeah but she had just met Katie you know Gina I not that it's a competition but we've been friends for a long time and I think what was disappointing for me at the beginning with Gina is that you've known me a long time why are you just taking this person's word that you just met and all these things and but here's the other thing you know even after this situation with Katie I never said anything to the girls like how could you be friends with her I I very much went you all do your thing you make your own decisions that's just not a friendship that I am choosing to pursue I'll always be polite I'll always be appropriate but I see she's uh you know she taught me who she is yeah you know circling back to Emily we see in the the trailer about Emily's making comment that uh that You' have made about her weight I think and how you always see her as like the bigger person I know you can you kind of give a little bit of context to what might that conversation look like yeah I don't understand where I listen I haven't seen and those episodes so there's information I really don't have but nothing could be further from the truth I am so inspired by her and her fitness journey and her confidence at any weight you know she was beautiful before she lost the weight she's beautiful now and I'm just I'm very impressed by her good so I don't know where that comes from yeah so we'll have to wait and see right yes we'll have to wait and see um Alexis is back on the show you the two of you have remained friends for quite some time but when she came back into the mix how do you feel like she fit in obviously we have the the John factor in all of this I mean look this was a tough thing it was tough for all of us uh and especially some of us that are friends with Shannon and Alexis to be in the middle um I I think for Alexis you know I hope that the audience really gets to see how much she's evolved and how strong she is since who she was when she was first on the show I think I mean kind of I guess fortunately but unfortunately because it's all interesting story but at you know her and Shannon's expense I think for Alexis she had a very difficult year her beloved mother passed away she ended a three-year engagement she's stuff with her kids like all this stuff going on and she found love in an unlikely place and wants to shout it from the rooftops she wants to protect her man from someone she feels has been trying to tear him down and so she's fighting for all of that I get it but I also completely understand where Shannon is and I and I kept saying to her I don't even know how you're showing up yeah because I don't think I could have done that no I don't think I could have done it either no it takes a takes a special person to kind of to do that because I don't think I would have been able to because even no because when you end a relationship you want them you want them gone you don't want to see them anymore you don't want them hanging out at the places you H you want them completely gone of yeah very challenging yeah very do you feel like Alexis in any way was throwing it in her face you know talking about how she had sex four times a day with John and like you know with the promised ring and things like that did you feel like it was a little much at times well I think both things are true I don't think that Alexis would intentionally hurt anyone she's just not that person and yes I think it was too much and I and I told her that and I don't know if that's shown but I did tell her that and I was telling her that I thought that her posts you know were maybe too much and maybe bring it back and she said you know what if someone doesn't want to see my posts don't follow me and that is her perogative too yeah do you were you surprised that Tamara took s such a step back from Shannon's friendship after the DUI or is it understandable to you I there's another one I mean like I I understand both sides of all of this yes I understand why Tamara took a step back and when she explained it to me at the time it made perfect sense I understand why Shannon feels the way she feels I mean they were in business together they've been friends a long time but they have had a sort of I think a complicated relationship over the years yeah how would you describe your relationship with Shannon right now well I think we're good okay um we were just texting and like I said she reached out to me after watching the episode our kids were at a concert recently together and it was so cute cuz Shannon and I were shooting that Deadpool commercial oh yes I want yes I love that so much so they sent us pictures and then we sent them it was really really and talking compc relationship for reason Shannon and I have a compated relationship I don't know why because you know what we get along great we have very similar backgrounds and I adore her my fault her fault our fault other people's fault I don't know but I love her I love her kids and I'm really happy with where she is I just and I texted her the other day to congratulate her on the dating show I think it's so great oh I'm thrilled for her yeah did Ryan Reynolds Reach Out directly did you speak to him he did not no he did not and I can't believe he doesn't remember me by the way we did have you you guys have worked together before well we didn't exactly work together but I was on a show called star gravy Matt with Neil Patrick Harris and Tony Shalo and he was on two guys a girl in a pizza place with Tiffany th and Rich Rolo and trer Howard and we all like would go out after the shows because we were all at CBS Radford everyone like in between scenes would smoke cigarettes in the alleyway and whatever got no call got no call no call there's still time I mean you were the inspiration for the movies really they didn't even give me the necklace they didn't know no oh my God that's that's a travesty yes um how would you how do you feel about Shannon's relationship with alcohol now after she explained you know what she's obviously she went through an alcoholic course and things like that but she decided not to go to rehab listen I don't I am not going to be Shannon's judge and jury I feel like she is a grown woman she made a really bad mistake and for whatever anyone thinks she has had to take a very good look at her life and I think her trend is good and I like where she is and I'm I'm happy for her and I'm hopeful for her continued success do you feel like John is love bombing Alexa I don't really understand what that means to be honest with you so I don't know like telling her what she wants to hear pretty much you don't know yeah don't they all tell us what Terry don't you tell me what I want to hear yes is that the secret after 25 years of marriage yes in December it'll be 28 years wow8 years isn't that crazy that's insane you know what's so funny sometimes I feel like we've been together like I don't remember my life yeah before him but in other respects it's like it it's all new yeah it does it it does feel does he still give you butterflies sometimes and sometimes not but they usually have gold on oh like van Clea butterflies was that your joke I love that that was a good one how is the world's most expensive closet the world's okay so it's so great and we're living in the apartment okay the apartment's beautiful thank you but we had we rented another apartment in the building so CU we have we have the kids right and so we have two bedrooms upstairs and now we have four bedrooms downstairs and people are saying to me so are the kids living downstairs I'm like I wish wouldn't that be great send the kids to live on their own I don't think the Optics of that would be very good no so everybody's all together no so basically we live in this rented apartment with so it's we have a bedroom and Max and Ace and Cat and then Nikki has our guest room and the other so Terry and I basically have two bedrooms I suppose of our own one up one down and Nikki you know he goes to school in La so he really has his own house with his friends and he's going abroad this semester so very nice and all that everybody's doing good all everyone's great great how do you feel about everybody going back to school getting getting back in the routine you know I think it's time we've had a really nice summer we had great time family time in Idaho together and then I rented a house um for next week for a few days that's not far and we're going to all just hang out and play games I love it I love it so do you feel after this season that you are rejuvenated after this season or was it because obvious this wasn't as tough as last season by any means right right um I think every season has its own set of challenges for sure but what I loved about this season is that you remember the reason why I came back on the show I wanted to start conversations in other people's families and we've been able to do that and the more I can show what the kinds of work we do and advocating for other families in the lgbtqia plus Community makes me really happy so I throw this big event for family equality and so exciting I've been working on this uh collab with them the gems sparkling wine lunch where 100% of proceeds goes to family equality we've been working on it for a year this was the culmination the launch and we get to show that I presented at the Glad Awards with mered of marks with the best time it was so cool Kate Hudson performed Oprah was there it was amazing and all these other things that we did and being able to show that and use this incredible platform for that that's the best it's worth all of it it's worth all the drama yeah it is how do you when maybe people come up to you and ask you how do you create such a household that is so honest and open and able to share feelings beliefs and with no judgment what advice do you give parents uh listen to your kids yeah because everyone just wants to talk at their kids like oh let me give you my let me fix this for you let me tell you my advice you really just need to let your kids talk they're really smart and sometimes they can work things out on their own and you also have to really build trust yeah building trust is very important did you find that that was easy for you well it was you know I grew up in a very 1950s household where people didn't talk about anything and everything was like brushed under the rug and everything's fine and you know we didn't know about anything so it was very important to me to have open communication with my kids and talk about everything they tell me everything sometimes too much sometimes to well that's good that's a good thing though that's you know it's much better for them to tell you too much than nothing at all 100% yes oh circling back we didn't talk about Jennifer I have to talk a little bit about Jennifer you know obviously everything that happens with she and Ryan this season and we see a lot of the legal Fallout and things like that do you feel like if she stays with him that it's going to be life ruined I guess like kind of how Gina says here's the thing Jen is the sweetest nicest girl and it's funny because as I've watched certain scenes I get to know her on a different level and I don't think I realized how she really went from her parents home to her husband's home and and lived a more of a sheltered life and I think this is a great opportunity for her to you know Branch out and figure out how she stands on her own two feet in the world and I hope she continues to do that as far as what's going on in their house I mean look my mother has always said you don't live in the house you don't know so I'm sort of I'm actually curious as a viewer to see the conversations that have been had and and what they do talk about behind closed doors when it concerns all of this yeah definitely and then when you feel like Katie watches back this season entirely do you think that she's going to regret the missteps that she made as a a first-time housewife that's an interesting question I think you'll probably have to ask her yeah okay I can't wait to see how this season unfolds Heather it's always a pleasure catching up with you so good see so good seeing you too thank you so much as always