Life in Long Island | Kennedy Saves the World

[Music] hello and welcome to this Labor Day episode of Kennedy Saves the World um Jimmy and I are going to our own professional funeral so we're dressed very nicely I know this is like the worst barbecue attire this isn't staying on just so we're clear you're going to be covered in rib sauce in about 20 minutes but it's so funny cuz like you do run in here on labor day to tape something but you don't plan what you'll have at your disposal like we're not dressed for Labor Day no absolutely not we have failed the American people no it's like there's there's like uh these uhhuh tack on little silvery beads that are very like punk rock Elvis we look like the Hollywood Foreign Press but like Hollywood hello Mrs Julia Roberts I would like to know how does it feel getting the big Tess nomination you and I'm just taking pictures click click click click click happy Labor Day Olaf thank you there it is um so Jim I was thinking about our Labor Day conversation and uh you know it my children already accuse me of being like a grandma and my 19-year-old thinks it's really funny to every week and be like I'm pregnant does that scare you and I'm like no because I know I would have to raise the baby so I'd be fine with that yeah it's like but they're like you're you're almost a grandma I'm like don't say that like no you you don't want that like I don't mind it like just it's it's one more on the pile I'd have a great time with a baby something to do good action no and and you can ask Jenny like when you're when your late 40s early 50s like you know you would be an amazing mom because you would put up with absolutely nothing and you know all the good stuff to you know how to do it now yeah absolutely right that's a that's one of the challenges though is like I feel like I was raised pretty well but a lot of the techniques are illegal you know what I mean it's like they're coming back on Instagram they are though like just watching this stuff like there's this whole movement gentle parenting doesn't work it doesn't and it's like you know when when Lincoln and and our my girls were little it was all gentle parenting just like maybe we can make a better choice as opposed to Gen X gen xers were raised like get the Desert Storm shock and a that's how it went down yeah I got roughed up a lot uh and there's a lot of value in that and and you know the whole pieace through strength thing M no it does matter if your kid is taught consequence at an early age it's a compass for them that really serves them well later in life so I'll tell you one that happened with me and Lincoln and this is one of my favorite memories ever so when Lincoln was going through that phase do you remember when Lincoln had the mullet yeah and he hadn't hit his height spurt and so he was a little plump I I always used to refer to him I say he looks like the toughest woman in prison cuz he had a mullet but he had like a gut and he had some booze okay but I'll tell you the Butterball turkey is succulent no one wants SK Frank Purdue was sad to see it go okay he sad to see Lincoln go but he hit his gross bir he's like 6'5 he's in shape now he's like an Adonis but when he was a porker okay you're a porker he was a porker I mean I was a porker I come from a long line of porkers it's not a I'm not slandering The Man by calling him one I'm saying he's a part of this thing of ours you know the mafia this thing of ours anyway so uh we used to go to Fred's Deli in Lev toown and Lincoln was uh you know a bit of a an ambitious snacker okay as were I I mean be clear the the behavior I'm modeling I mean I would assume when you're that age and you live on Long Island you want to be a competitive eater yeah you do like there's there's a Mystique to that you're surrounded by it too it's a thing so understand I'm not modeling good behavior here okay I would go to Fred's Deli and I would get a Hungry Man which is like a hero it's six eggs ham bacon sausage home fries and cheese I would eat two of them wow I would eat two of them is this a sandwich yes it's a monstrosity sounds incredible like these are the moments where I really miss gluten when people talk because there's no way to construct something like that gluten-free where would be delicious but I I know like pre 2010 I know exactly you know it's all about and I'm a 700 lb man trapped in a 300 lb man's body I mean that's that's my eternal struggle so anyway I was a bit of an eater but we went to Fred's Deli okay and Lincoln okay who got his bacon egg and cheese on a bagel also got a yooo also got a pack of Twinkies and got a chocolate covered Rice Krispie Treat and I was like dude Mommy's going to lose it we can't well I blame it on mommy by the way for sure she's the fat CH know I told her I got to police this thing yeah she's giving him Richard Simmons deal meal too soon R you can't rip you can't go well I think he's still alive his name is Tim Waltz he just changed his name Richard Simmons is still with us yeah oh gosh it arm the arms so stick with me so I told Lincoln just two of the three just do to help a brother out yeah get the yooo and the twinkie get the Yoo and the crispy treat were good I want all three and under the opes that I had gotten rid of one of them I actually didn't so it was weak parenting in the moment okay we walk a 5-year-old Lincoln out to the car at Fred's Deli he assumes his item is not in the bag slams the door we get home to our house okay he gets out of the car without talking to me once on the way home slams the door walks in the front door at our old house mommy's like you know how was Fred's she it was the worst daddy wouldn't get me anything and I held up the Rice Krispie Treat hit him once with it he cried and when I left the room he ate the rice krispy tree in the fattest moment I've ever seen but I was so happy for him that he still got his Rice Krispy treat but at the same time I've never in any capacity had to hit him again which is good cuz I couldn't take him yeah but it was about five when that happened and I'm not saying like I beat him like it was a night stick I did that to Jenny I was like you raised this I'm kidding but the point is just that minimal interaction with a bad result is helpful and gentle parenting does fail so the fact that you know you're daughter was joking about being pregnant and all that and you'd welcome it is good but the fact that every parent out there has some trepidation about yeah but I'd be weird about it like I would I would wear like the pregnancy belly and then be like oh yeah I can't believe I'm showing already are you going to Peete booty judge this Grand kid a th% then I show up at the newborn like isn't it a miracle yeah well in that case I'm breastfeeding it I'm putting on the remember he took those pictures it's like this is who's running the country that's normal yeah gentle we're being led by gentle parents yeah that's the problem don't go anywhere more Kennedy Saves the World right after this that is the absolute problem so there was a study that just came out that it's like 49% of Millennials and geners use more than their vacation and sick time like every chance they get to take time off they take it whereas J xers are still like terrified they're going to be fired even though it's like the best most solid part of the workforce they're like Jenny they're like a little bit scared always yeah know she keeps going you you'll find a day where she shuts off her only fans and tell me cuz I'm with her all the time it's on it is on I'm there not there it doesn't matter nose to the grindstone that girl that's so not true in fact I I texted Jenny a couple days ago because I needed to know how long to cook my cobbler is that true yep and that's not a euphemism actually that is a euphemism cuz I had I had pooped in a casserole dish and I was going to show it on my only yeah we've all been there it's called cooking the cobbler you got you got to cook the cobbler it's Labor Day we're laboring we are okay what kind of old guy do you think you'll be ooh this is interesting okay because I never thought I would be one because I had a lot of like destructive habits in my 20s but I think I have gotten mellow so you know what old guy I want to be and this is what I hope to achieve I've always lived my life for the old man version that gets to tell stories in the backyard because I grew up around cops and my dad's friends would come over and get hammered and if you stayed awake late enough to listen to them talk good yeah about the fights they got into smartest thing a kid can do is just shut up and they they don't realize you're there do not add anything don't be obnoxious just be quiet and blend in and you will hear everything everything and that's why I I heard we had a buddy his buddy Tommy W my dad hired a retired cop to put a dormer onto our house and he paid him in Scotch and it seemed like a good deal till the first this is the most fail of story the most long story he he paid Tommy W and Cy Sark whiskey or Scotch whatever the hell it is and it was the greatest deal in the world till the first day it rained and we had like 12 buckets in our living room but anyway after he was done constructing each day he would drink his scotch and tell stories in my backyard and he had told the story about here's Labor Day for you one time when he was A Beat cop and he got jumped and a guy was hitting him with his own night stick he had to bite the guy's balls and like he remembered I was in the yard and I was a gas and I never forget he like he didn't laugh that's actually foreplay for cooking the cob he didn't laugh he didn't apologize he goes hey when the whistle blows anything goes and just kept talking it was just like I'll never forget him saying that to me when the whistle blows anything goes an incredible phrase and I'm I'm kind of shocked that you haven't like you know it's like I'm not taking the Jersey off the Raptor speak Sports good as a hit no no I've always sat on that and what I'm hoping to become is that Oracle that old man that gives a of kids that piece of insight that they take forward that would be the goal what will I be probably a guy to horse track with no money giving handies in the parking lot also no teeth twice as much guaranteed no teeth you get more M as you say no I want to be I want to be I always see these old women in New York and I I find that the older I get the more I dress up which I thought it would be the opposite like but I start out like really really sloppy like I came of age on MTV in like the grunge era where it's like women look like they were fished out of a gutter in like men's shorts and it was like oh my God she's so hot it's amazing and and so now I like to dress up but I want to be one of those women with like you know is is that is that the feds my ankle BRAC continue you want to be one of those women who what why are you wearing my ankle bracelet as a ring that's that's something to tell my BR officer no but like with the big glasses and the the Pearl choker and the Chanel access like just rich and eccentric that's not like Joselyn Wilden Stern but but like lots of nice take taxis and call the guy driver I had a woman who used to do that in my cab who wore elbow length gloves be like driver I'm going to 23rd Street it was wonderful oh be her be her but I'm going I'm definitely going to be like smoking cigars and like but really like super dressed up overly accessorized lots of really bright lipstick I was going to say you're going to have the big lipstick on yes absolutely like turbin and a but no cats I love this I hate cats no offense I know you've got two cat Pro cat I grew up in a cat house frisky was 24 with no meow box at the end it was a old kung fu movie she'd meow and no sound would come out just she just do that and that was it I was like what up Frisk that's all you got but it was cute she was 24 so I get it no cats for you you get a dog maybe a dog I'll have like a you know a a little teacup Frenchie just like yes here's Mr beler get it somebody told me in my taxi ones that at sex clubs in New York some of the people who frequent them still virtue signal there and just like there was a guy getting walked around in the dog leash who made it a point to say he was a rescue I'm like all right nobody cares there's no virtue here there's nothing adopt don't shot I'm not I'm not from a breeder they're literally kicking the guy with the heel it's a good virtuous person here that's you know what that person is a victim of gentle parenting we did it full circle Jes off to the barbecue off happy labor day oh happy Labor Day to you this has been Kennedy Saves the World along with Jimmy F bang listen ad free with a Fox News podcast Plus subscription on Apple podcast and Amazon Prime members can listen to this show ad free on the Amazon music app oh go ahead leave me a review while you're there I'd love to hear what you have to say 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