Ep39 | Lily Allen | Dogs | Cosmetic Surgery

hi everyone welcome to this week's episode of the five pench change podcast I'm Michelle you didn't do the intro bit the little comment tell them tell them now tell them now hey if you want to like comments and subscribe share tell all your friends about it show us some love there you go done crack on with the [Music] episode what [Music] twist are I think I'm going to pass out all my toes in his mouth I can't get me which is why just and Action episode [Music] 39 welcome everyone I keep getting told off for hugging huging huging huging your cushion cross between hog and cuddling oh he sold you off for that cuz I always think you look dead snuggly and happy um my mate said he watched it he just was like why why you hugging a pillow why not I'd hug man if I wasn't leaning on it the main reason it's just it keeps my arm at a comfortable position so what would you do if you were at home would you sit like that as well like did your arm need to be up what I'm you haven't got a couch cushion yeah but they're just done a pile like behind the cushion behind the city what do you mean they're in a pile behind the city they for your city they go on your City on your couch on your [ __ ] living room [ __ ] sitting area no right get comfortable oh so the the the pillow isn't comfortable cuz you weren't even comfortable I was I was I just I was going to put it down right so I don't like sitting on them and so when they're on the couch they're just in the way you don't sit on them no I know but like do you know do you know when like some people's couches they don't have like this they have like like cushions like just together yeah scatter cushions I hate it I hate move it get it out the way I want to sit just on the actual couch and I don't want to sit leaning against the pillow because just I find it really annoying so I I've got the couch the C that bought has with some and they're nice but not nice enough to put on the actual City no that's see I think I always lean on them like I do now and even at home like I sit in this corner and I'll lean on it or I'll just lie down and put me heads on it no if you're lying down but like I just find it really annoying and so I don't when I'm at home I don't there's no there's no cushions on the C what do you snuggle what you Huggle when I'm at home yeah nothing a no beds and no cushions how tragic for you sitting on the couch got my phone in one hand a TV remote and the other do you know what I'm done with today my phone I know my phone major do not disturb today straight to [ __ ] voicemail it justes me titting the point in having a mobile phone not being able to contact you had more luck to sending a pigeon oh try that next time cool love why is it on do not disturb just don't want to answer me phone Fair how has your weekend been it's can still do that without it being on do not disturb you can you can just look and go I'm not answering it no because sometimes though notifications come through and you know you just happen to be tapping something at the top of your screen and then that notification comes through and and and your finger and the notification link together and then you're on it you've opened the chat done game over you can still not reply people not doing that you don't need to put put up Gates around using your phone you're well within your you own not you own nothing to No One you don't have to reply to every message just cuz someone's messageer there's plenty of time no no I don't which is why do not disturb I'll respond when I want I don't man do not disturb cuz what if there's a genuine emergency well I might check the notification screen every now and again what if I got kidnapped and you like ring someone to come and save you and I rang you and then you're just like I'm not do that disturb well I think i' I'd like to think that you know me well enough that if you had to make that decision you'd be like well you know what the chances are quite high that Michelle's phone will be on do noty stab so I'll I'll use someone else if someone if someone pointed a gun at my head and was like ring someone if the answer I'll let you go I to be like just [ __ ] shoot me now me because no one answers to me first time Mom Michelle no one aners the phone to me first time tried to when you were in the car just to prove a point I was like watch i r a now she won't even answer around my mom she's like oh yeah prove me wrong no one answers first time I just don't oh stop moaning no stop moaning I'm not moaning tired though well as I tried to say before it's bank holiday weekend um it's happy bank holiday everyone yeah for two weeks ago by the time you listen to this actually know it's going out tomorrow it it's going out tomorrow sorry I'm just so far away with me times it's going out tomorrow bank holiday Monday still bank holiday John's been gigging in Scotland this weekend so he's driven the 5our drive straight from Glasgow to my house to get me and then over to our little cupboard and chest there to record for tomorrow's episodes um so if he does seem a little bit doy that's why and also I'm thinking about the six people ran over on the way here six people just didn't stop didn't even see him to be hon honest with you I was having a nap I was having a nap pilot on I can't wait for the day when the car can just drive itself I'm all for it right I was having this conversation with someone and I don't think like do you know when you when you try and predict what the the future is going to be like I I don't think we're a million miles you think about phones now what you can do on a phone yeah and you think like 15 years ago it blow your mind if someone said like oh yeah you don't even you don't even need to take your card card out with you now you just tap your phone someone told you that 15 years watch or you watch yeah like you can literally Bard a plane using your watch like if someone tolds you that 15 years ago you like what I just tap my phone how does that work and even now I don't know how that works I just know it works I think even like me mom she used to be like oh when we got a phone like a telephone like back in the day day black and white days um and she was like oh we used to joke about imagine being able to see the other person on the other ends of that phone and that is a thing and that blew her mind I think the only thing that would really enrich my life if it I don't know how it would be possible but smell a vision do you know what I'm watching like all the cooking programs and stuff yeah yeah like of a on the weekends of a morning um who's that guy on the Sunday someone Martin I can't even remember his name I don't care about him but the food looks insane and I think can you imagine if you could smell no that's that's the guy from cplay and it's not Ricky Martin cuz we're not living Le either Lo R what is his name something Martin um but yeah like can you imagine smelling that food coming from their kitchen on a Sunday morning into your living room and I think there's got to be a way to be able to do it but how I I I'm just going to be the other the guy on the other side of the fence right I think it would uh ruin the magic because I think when they're cooking it on the show I don't think it's as good as they say it is do you think I think they're just doing that for the camera like they go like you know you watch him and they go James Martin James Martin there is the guy do you know when he do you know when you're watching him and they're just like yeah yeah but season it and and they're just throwing [ __ ] in and like and you put it all together and you put on the plate and go there you go I think it looks good but I reckon it's not properly but all the guests look like they're enjoying themselves and they took into it and they're like M oh this is delightful like I feel like if you'd pull a face if you didn't like it maybe they just honestly I just smell a vision but but do he like switch it over last minute like did he go here you go and they like cut away to it and it's actually the next plate over and they're like here you go try that I don't know I don't know I just I think if you smell it by smells raw that meat raw nothing how could you smell raw raw fish I don't think you can smell raw fish I think if it smells like St John's Market it's it's making like like one of those smelly fishes imagine you you're getting ready and you fing turn on James Martin he saying I'm making fish today and you're there getting ready for it smoked heck [ __ ] that smell to work smell on a fish hey you think of fish James Martin this morning you stink of fish it's the Telly I swear to God walking into someone's house going been watching Master like a factory in here sorry M I've been watching How It's Made [Music] well that's what I want and I don't know if that's possible but that's what I want everything that's possible I love your like your your just we you're at like out of everything that could be possible I just want to be able to smell what they're cooking on all just be really nice that's all you when they sit there say oh my God you smell this it smells amazing I just want to smell it but it always looks good whether that's Cooking With the Stars Master Chef Gordon Ramsay's like Kitchen Nightmares like it's top quality food and I want to smell it uh we'll cook it then get write down the ingredients and just cook it at home and go Ah that's what it smells like and I didn't need a 15 grand TV to do it checking that's how much it cost 15 grand yeah like look at the prices of the Tellies now well you can get a decent Siz Telly for about 400 quid it's not yeah probably go to Costco and get a 70 inch one for 400 quid they are every time I go in Costco I'm like who needs this Telly I think me mate Lauren I think is a 65 in and when she first bought it I was like [ __ ] H like I feel like I'm at the front row of the cinema that's what but now I'm just used to it and I love it there's one in Costco that's like it literally looks like it should be like in a cinema room like it is massive like like if you put it on this wall it would fill the whole thing how mad's that and and and I just sit there and think who's buying that who's looking at who's looking at their Liv how big's your house where you've got to look and go probably going to need a 9in TV in here yeah but I feel like if it was like obviously you guys can't see the whole wall behind us but if this was our living room space and our couch was on that wall over there you had a 90in TV on this wall behind you no you'd need to be way way back no I think that's it dirt your eyes if you if you were I honestly don't think it was that's a big wall it is a big wall but if you're sat no cuz me couch is at the back over there even if it was at the back over there and you're looking this way I still think that would just be a bit too big I think you're really boring I just think it'll be a bit too big and a bit too bright and after a while you''ll be going why do I keep getting migraines you're like I wonder if it's all you don't need that's how you know you you grew up on a counselor State though don't it just because I grew up on a councelor state doesn't mean I want a 30 TV in me living room for the rest of me life if your TV looks like it's it's too big for the room you grew up on a council state facts doing I've got a bit of money what I'm going to do get a big TV it doesn't fit can't have to take out a window just to get this TV in yeah put a council state we didn't have these big TVs back in the day I got oh another thing I get on side in in Glasgow had a TV well it had the TV in the room what I don't have and I get called weird for is I don't have a Telly in my room do you know what there's nothing wrong with that I know there's not not breaking the law why I just right I don't sometimes I love just lying in beds with the Telly on and and people say that my mate my M the says the exact same thing like nothing much then he he goes to bed an hour before he he needs to just to watch TV and chill out I feel like chilling in your bed is is a leite in comparison to chilling on the couch if I I go bed when I want to go bed M like I'll go bed I'll scroll through my phone for about half an hour and then I'll fall asleep like there's nothing on it that time of night that I want to watch yeah but there's all subscription Services it doesn't have to be what on terrestrial TV but I also know what I'm like I also know that if I get in bed right if I get in fact so there was this one on Netflix called the order right which is like a very um it's it's it's kind of like it's it's not like a Twilight thing but it's like witches Wizards and werewolves type of vibe right all the W's all the W's right www dot and um and I I I this is dead py why I got into it I got into it because I saw the trailer and I thought she's fit I want to watch this was she a vampire no she was a witch right oh right okay it's actually a really good like little series it's finished now anyway I binged it over the weekend I put the first one on and I just binged and and it was like it was getting like 2:00 in the morning and I did the exact same thing with Lucifer I got into that I know if I got into bed and I put a series on I'm not sleeping cuz I I'll just put another one on see I do I'm just really like doy in bed no and I'll put my timer on to go off in like an hour's time cuz I know I'll be flat out before that timer ends and the flip side when I wake up and I'll go I'll put the TV on for a bit I'll ruin my day I won't I won't leave oh I couldn't put it on the morning I [ __ ] put Lo foot on me this morning and I just got six episodes in I couldn't TV it in the morning no and I I I literally just have music on playing for me phone I I don't I don't TV in the morning I don't I I I'll watch something and then when I go bed I'm I'm going bed I'm not going to go sit and like you sit up or you lie down lie down but then you got to lie like yeah but I'm not I don't go to bed to watch things like I go to bed it'll be on and I'll I'll watch it it'll be something like really something that I haven't got to concentrate on but I know I'm going to fall asleep too like Emily and Perry because sometimes when I just switch off like the TV I don't fall asleep as quick whereas if it's on I'll fall asleep quicker and I'll just be like fall asleep already like right I've just said to you but don't fall asleep as quickly when there's nothing on do just get in bed fall asleep although it does help if I'm if I'm watching like knowing you you're kind of little Tik Tok YouTube rabbit hole M but then sometimes I could flip through that and just be like [ __ ] hell there's an hour gone 100% it's the worst it is the worst I start Mark like even when in the morning when I get up and uh I should put my phone on the other side of the room but I know all that'd happen is I'd wake up go get it and get back in bed anyway so what's the point um but I'll wake up in the morning and I'll just start flicking for my phone and then I'm like ah [ __ ] need to get up now after Crush off breakfast have a breakfast this morning just carry on scrolling through and then it's just getting later and later it's like ah [ __ ] it I won't take the kids to school today they can have a day [Music] off I don't do that of the morning my routine as my Alarma go off I'll look at me lock screen see what notifications I've got and then I'll just get out of bed start me day no I I need a good 45 minutes and just Mindless scrolling just in case anything's kicked off you know like it helps me sometimes you know you wake up and everyone's like it's snowing oh my God look at the snow oh my God you think it wouldn't snowed everyone banging on about the snowing and I know now it's snowing well it's not snowing this weekend is it no it's rain how mad is the weather please so don't know what's it been like been in a different wind and the rain I've been in a different country you'd have to be fair the wind and rain so honestly I've lived for this weekend um little threads on Twitter just videos of tensor creamfields going oh yeah there's a girl on on the on the bill who was she's doing The edber Fringe and she's camping didn't even know there was an option by the way no so she's doing the Ed Fringe and she's camping because it's cheaper yeah imagine [ __ ] hotel is and she said she was like the outside of the tent keeps like the pegs just keep coming out honestly the amount of flying tents I've seen this weekend on social media has been insane it's like you know after it's been windy and someone's trampolines in your garden that's like is anyone missing a 10 and someone called Barry from Stoke imagine though so yeah I do feel sorry for everyone my garden maybe that's why there's a child child just bow over BW over everyone missing a child if anyone's not seen that episode then please go back I don't know how far back but you need to go back cuz that was a belter little story um but that happen last night I went to the docks in Liverpool because wanted I needed a little dog walk so it took me m and the dog and the Jackson well they're not the five anymore are they but the Jacksons were performing so I was like oh sound we'll be able to wear that John I got a full-on view for free oh you said you got a free ticket I thought it wasn't a ticket I was just stood outside the entrance but you could just see the whole stage like oh really where was it at the Docks the peer head oh you can see everything everything so I got a free concert for an hour oh sound that was amazing with my little cost of coffee but then it thunders stormed and the rain was torrential me and my mom were pissed W through the dog looked like the biggest victim I've ever seen in my life cuz he was soaked um but it was funny you know when you've just got to laugh and I was like you know what if that's the price we've got to pay to see the Jacksons for free I'll take it I'll take it what a lovely bank holiday weekend this has been thing you on I always feel like it is this like this bank holiday weekend the August one is always when it pisses it down see I don't think it is cuz I've been to to um not in Hill Carnival this weekend in London is it and what what is not in Hill Carnival like a r in leads no it's Carnival so it's all like celebrating all you C of bean cultures and stuff Carnival like it's it's sick and there's just different stages all through the streets of noton Hill get loads of like Caribbean food yeah North London um so that's this weekend and I've gone there in I think it was 2019 oh my God it was so hot it was like 35 36 degrees Yeah PR pandemic though weather's changed since I feel like last year when it was this like cuz I know people who went creen Fields last year and they were just banging on about the weather I always feel like this weekend is when it I just feel like the weather in the North in general is just shite it was bad coming back then we had a couple of days of summer the other week didn't we and now I'm just living in hoodies I think it's Autumn but you know what I'm excited for like autumnal like latte selection from coffee shops and little Halloween pumpkins and pumpin pumpkin oh pum can two pump um the pumpkin [ __ ] lates are in Starbucks I've never had a pumpkin spiced one you know same I don't really I don't know how I feel about it but I just like autum fing hate everything about pumpkins what is this cuz you have to carve them with the kids hate that it's messy unnecessary oh you're so sad are you okay I'm fine it just right it's just you spend like a fi on a pumpkin it makes an absolute mess you leave it outside and it just [ __ ] rots anyway well it's the vegetable it will no that's what I mean like you see like pumpkin pumpkins aren't nice someone walked in now was like is b a pumpkin pie you eating it oh my God have you ever tried the Pumpkin Pie from Costco no really good no just I don't know if they do it over here I've had it in Canada and it's beautiful pumpkin that makes me want to try it like especially when you're carving it you see all the insides and that like [Laughter] brother what is that it's like stringy isn't it and like the seeds and everything but what would you use it for to eat if someone was like oh what you're on there roasted pumpkin yeah roasted pumpkin with [ __ ] bell peppers it's only the same as having like having like roasted carrots or roasted pnip [ __ ] new question none of this pineapple and pizza hey D pumpkin on Pizza I don't know if it' work on a pizza what what sort of te is it like a swed cuz it's not like sweet or anything a swed why do you call it a Swede I call it a tup carrot and SED carrot and tup [ __ ] off no one's ever called it carrot and tup it's a [ __ ] tup it's carrot and swed right I don't know where the word SED come from but it's a tup it comes it's from years my n's my n called it carrot and swed it is referred to AED it's t as n called it car car Carol car Carol and S Carol and sweet everybody don't know just the first song that come to me anyway it can be referred to as both but I'd say tup I'm going to give okay will you let us know what Google says and can any of the listeners let us know what you refer to it as this is weird so Google turnip right yeah and your picture comes off oh you a ticket you want a ticket I hate you [ __ ] pick back back down so where you way right it has a range of names swed has a range of names names including Swedish turnip maybe that's where it comes from it's a Swedish turnip Swedish turnip shorten is swed in it all terip sweet um and neep in Scotland neeps and tatties and it's called turnip in parts of England the Swedish word rot Roto BAGI rotto baggy I don't trust you with your pronunciations on anything r o t o yeah rotto b a g g- e a b b a g g e baggy rotto baggy that's r bagy ragy no it's Swedish not Italian and it's been converted to R buer you a rotten buger so we're both I didn't say you were wrong we're both right it is a turnip so like so you're just referring to it of the origin of the country this is what happens when I go bed I just go on a deep dive like somewhere in England there's a line where swed and turnip swats names swats swaps names well where because you we live 10 minutes away from each other and we call it different do you reckon it's like a southern Northern divide swed is a [ __ ] someone put swed swed is that big honking yellow brown variety and turnips are smaller and more purple than white oh my mom used to use tups for me when I was a kid at Halloween we didn't have pumpkins she carved a tup now I don't know if you've ever carved a taner before but I reckon that's why she's got arthritis in her hands probably yeah cuz it's quite It's Hard Solid is it honestly when my mom used to like when I was kids and she'd be like oh we're doing the Sunday dinner you can chop the tanip bet she was like you're horrible you can do it yeah I'm surprised I've got all my fingers left to be you be like that P like slaming down on the knife and just Agony I wanted to make some carrot anded and um got got got some and I didn't realize how tough it was to cut using like a bread knife eventually know like with the [ __ ] thingy Edge serrated edge yeah the Dr I thought you were going to say segregated oh yeah that's segregated say it got the black bit at the back and you know what I mean no no what I was going to I was going to call it um I can't remember it becs with s but it wasn't segregated rated yes rated is the word comment what word anyway anyway it's solid now I just buy pre- chopped in cubes I don't even get it now just to save the [ __ ] hassle and stress I think it is called T up in the shops as well it's not carrot and swed you know car and swed mash that's a thing is it oh I love SED Mash oh now it's swed Mash is it I'm just refering do it as whatever you do you know what I'm proper in the mood for yeah soe carv oh I've had one this week I haven't I'm just in the mood for some [ __ ] homecooked food do you know what I've predominantly eaten this week go on like Asian food I've done nothing but eat Chinese food you know just hold on Chinese food Chinese food or Chinese English Chinese food um well I've been to the chippy so Chinese English food been to Blackstock a couple of times and a Chinese food on both of them oh uh what's it called North Garden North Garden I've done nothing but binge Chinese food I've really fancied some Korean food last night yeah well that's why when I said to you before about maybe going fa te that's I just want Asian food from there too oh let's do it I'm starving yeah I'm hungry too right guys thank you so much for listening that's been episode 39 went off of food no there was something you said you wanted to talk about though which is quite funny so all over the Internet this week is Lily Allen she is getting annihilated because she had adopted a dog and I think she'd got it in the pandemic and she has got rid of it because um the dog at ha and her family's passports which had the Visas in and her words are it's his ruined my life babe I'm just getting it up now so I've not heard I've not heard this like how can you give a dog up after a few years like and because at your passport like it's a dog like if it's brand new any dog it's an adopted dog an adopted dog honestly like there VI and that they had their own she's a [ __ ] millionaire it's really not that bad of a thing like you can afford to replace your passport and your visas but more more so just train your [ __ ] dog so that it doesn't chew things if you can't put the time and effort into training your dog then you don't deserve it babe she's a rat can I play Devil's Advocate oh go on as always I think she's right what so because the dog at your passport and you go I can't [ __ ] look at you you're going back right I think that's horrible I just think think about the amount of times that you've looked at your kids and thought I can't [ __ ] look at but you get rid of them you don't come close but you can't come close um trying to shove him back in there get it um what if right we don't know the situation we don't know what it's like in the Allen house hold right what if it's a toxic dog what if the dog was like I've just been adopted cuz the last family left me you're not [ __ ] leaving me and starts ripping up the passports no you're not going anywhere [ __ ] [ __ ] your visas you AR leaving me now so apparently in the report that had read because obviously um the guy she's married to now isn't the father of the children so the father of the children live in London fact also not the father of the dog and apparently she was fuman because the kids couldn't go to London to see the dad for like four five months while she got assorted but that's the thing you say you say you can afford to get a new passport what if the flight was the following morning you imagine just you've got a dog you imagine you you going away right you're going you're going away you going in the males yeah right you're excited you're all packed you got you you got your currency you've got your suitcase you got your passport you come down in the morning yeah I have a cup of tea before I get taxi to the airport and there's Teddy [ __ ] ripping your passport up he would be a moment I would be F but I wouldn't get rid of him there' be a moment you'd consider it though there'd be a moment you think I might just open that door boot it out close it I would be fuming but also as well don't leave stuff like that in in reach of a dog think the dog's toxic it deserves to be put now I'm not going to say that both you and Lily Allen can get in the bin I'm not I'm not a dog dance so I'm not one of them I'm not right you can't just get rid of a pet because done one bad thing like that I don't know we had a cat once that shot all over the place and pull down the Christmas tree the woman next door ruined our Christmas no I'm sorry down on Christmas morning and it was just cat [ __ ] everywhere yeah that would be that would on the floor [ __ ] ruined Christmas but you wouldn't get rid of it he did went bye never right you and Lily can get in the bin stop siding with there I've got to you and are getting annihilated now on socials is this is this I don't know if this is the dog I don't I don't want to look at his little face why are you pulling that face I thought you wearing a dog NS I'm not but it does look cute let me have a little look I don't know if that's the dog oh yeah no way I've seen that picture is that the dog I think it is I've seen that on um on she said on the podcast the dog ate all three of our passports and our visas and sorry the the dog ate all three of our passports and they had our visas in and I cannot tell you how much money it cost me to get everything replaced you can you can literally go you know is she though I think like I don't know who her husband is but he's rich like do you know what I mean money isn't an object because it was Co because it was Co um and it was just an absolute logistical Nightmare and because the father of my children lives in England I couldn't get back I couldn't get them back to see their dad for like four months like oh no four month five months because this [ __ ] dog in the passport I just couldn't look at her I was like you've ruined me life you I mean how dramatic is that so all she's fuming about is the fact that she wasn't childree for when she should have been exactly she might have had plans I don't care you can't just give up a dog like that train the dog train the [ __ ] dog it's harder to train though an adoptive dog isn't it well that's if you're going to adopt a dog you need to have the time and the patience to put in it dogs aren't just for Co exactly and I feel like a lot of people did that I feel like a lot of people did just get dogs for Jordan Co because they were Fair Lo they were working from home I got one you know shut up yeah I nearly right because someone else was getting rid of the dog right so genuinely I'm not a pet person right I it's weird because when I was younger we we the only pet we had we had a couple of hamsters um which died apparently they hibernate is that true yeah we've had this discussion haven't we yeah yeah yeah so we we buried alive four hamsters basically stop it my mom was like you all die at the same time of year where is it not B apparently the hiate I think they were dead anyway so we buried four hamsters um that's me getting a call from the rspca was 20 years ago come at me yeah bro um and a couple of goldfish that we won at the fair yeah they get flush they only last a few days from the fair oh I had one that lasted a few years shut up from the fair from the fair wow yeah yeah one year it developed this white spot and then the following year it went weird what was the White Spot did have cancer looking back I think it was or a white head I think it was just a different fish I think every time it died my mom just got a new fish oh so we weren't upset not realizing I didn't really care much you know what it was called go on the fish the fish the fish fish the fish like it was like feed the fish clean the fish so we just called it the fish oh my God what's what's the fish's Nam the fish that's I'm not and I so when I was little I always like wanted a pet like a cat or a dog or something but now I'm older and I can I'm just like no I would I wouldn't mind a dog um that's what I was getting into so during during the vid um someone was putting on that they were they just got well they had this dog and they had the dog for 12 months and then they just had a baby yeah and it turns out the baby's allergic to the dog what get rid of the baby then that's what I thought right but apparently it's not that easy um so they were like so we unfortunately we need to get rid of the dog he wants a dog and he wanted like a grand for it oh what type of dog was it it's like a lab a grand nah they're just hustling there who's buying a labrador for a grand more expensive nah I had just said like 400 quit me reckon yeah nah right how much is we're going to go for puppy lab yeah I'm going 400 quit why does it come up why is the the first thing that come up saying how much is a labrador dog in India why is that one of the top Googled searched what are they doing in India putting it in a cie right so it depends on what you're looking for if you want show quality Labrador ah we just want the little mut show quality that's not any quity you get a [ __ ] audition on extenders mate you can take that dog with you it probably get you the part to be honest with show quality [ __ ] dog right there dogs there that [ __ ] juggling on the cruise ships that be on Britain's Got tent next week that dog sits down you ever seen a dog drag his ass across the carpet like that show quality show quality right there dogs there like shuffling jazz hands well jazz paws jazz paws anyway um Labrador Retriever puppy you can expect to spend over 2,000 however if the if if you're not that particular you can find pups on the go for6 to 800 like if you're not that particular what what's bringing the cost down from two grand to 6 600 it must just be like pure pedigree must it you want show quality yeah you can get two grand but you can get the little Runner like uh yeah he he'll bring you know he just brings the tea he just he just sits at the back he cleans the stage actually for the show show quality dogs that's what he does he's he's just he's just a ticket guy this one's 800 yeah I Reon 400 you could get one for n honestly I swear to God I will find you one for 400 quid tonight Labradors for sale this is like not puppies oh that's a puppy Grand 900 quid getting closer oh stop it how cute are they I know I wish I do like labradors I just wish they could stay puppy size forever that's 12200 quid these n let's get the little weird ones with like three teeth head yeah that's better yeah he's he's got a bug eyye though has he not show quality this one oh let me look at his b guy it gone one sec oh sorry clicking so many pop-ups come up this is what can get under B like he looks like's oh I think it's gone oh yeah cuz he's he's the cute one two grand that's a show quality [ __ ] dog right there I don't think that even looks like a a labrador this one looks like he's a stroke oh no he's gorgeous oh he looks like Trevor McDonald's he looks like Trevor McDonald I want him oh just for context for the audio listeners this Labrador isn't a blond one no it's his eyes he's got eyes like Trevor McDonald's it's not the fact that it's a black lab like he's got the eyes of Trevor McDonald he looks human oh yeah looking into his eyes looking he's you can just imagine him there going and it's been a wolf day that's such a bad joke uh but that's the difference that's 700 quid and that's what a grand gets you his eyes a level sometimes you don't need to have the most perfect looking dog like sometimes the funny ones are the ones that they have no teeth no tongue hanging out or like that they've got a little pop out eye or no eyes oh my God a little three-legged dog 8 to 900 right get you three chunky black boys right what site are you on now gen what it says it's like it's like this like this this she got three for that price updated um thick set of black boys looking for their amazing forever hes this this doesn't sound like a dog advert no it doesn't this sounds like a [ __ ] this sounds like a bit of a sex adult chat yeah does do it what's the details three thick set black boys looking for their forever homes these boys have amazing personality funny and affectionate I feel like I'm on [ __ ] blind date so do you get three for the price of one or what I'm just waiting for the thing or was it 800 quid a dog probably 800 quid a dog view more I want to view more you these black boys the lovely Remy has had 12 chunky pups three chocolate girls five black boys and four chocolate boys her babies were born on Tuesday the 25th of June they're ready for potential viewings from Tuesday the 23rd of June what they were born on the 25th but you can view them two days prior July okay now John just looked at the sale see it you see put finger in show quality that one look at that um but cannot go to the forever homes until the 20th of August they when they are 8 weeks old and then it says it's got 5 weeks free insurance Med at 3 five and 8 weeks fully treated microchipped puppy food to get you started why are we doing this Aid in an American accent it feels like it would be puppies are 900 each and 200 deposits are securing non non-refundable what if it died do you know what though this happens I'm on like a little cocka poo dog group there you are and there was a woman the other day who had collected a dog who was absolutely fine and then within 48 hours or something like that just deteriorated took to the vets and it had like this disease and died did you get your money back don't think so kick off would you like show quality human I'd be fum would you be F though if you paid for it turned up and then had your passport I would be pissed off if something at me passport yeah but I'm not going to give the dog up I just think that's shady F though that poor dog is now going like it's in its little home I don't know how long the dog was with Lily for when it happen what if it was constant like what if that's the straw that broke the camel's back what if this dog but she only got it in Co and then got rid of it in Co like I don't think she'd add him that long what if like it was just eating the walls what if it was just that's what some puppies do though I know but what like you've got to look into the type and you've got to put the time and the effort into train I think no and with you I've never had a dog like my mom's never had a dog we've never had a dog so I wouldn't know where to start so if if I got a dog and it was just [ __ ] bouncing around the house smashing [ __ ] up and you're not expecting I you know the time in to train it and all that people expect like do you know like when when we sit here with Ted Ted just sits out there chilling out my in my mindset now if I get a dog that's what a dog will do yeah that's why I would never get another dog after Ted because if he wasn't like Ted i' be and he fits so well into my lifestyle he's just he's not eating your so well I didn't bring him today to chill on the couches he's at home on the couch passport um Peter's vice president is that like a pets association thing pet yeah P you could get new new passports and rebook your flights Mary may spend many months in a shelter waiting for a new family if she's lucky enough to find one at all depends if she show quality [ __ ] lab didn't she why are you obsessed with the show quality it's just and if she's not I know three chunky black boys that'll [ __ ] see off so do I so yeah long story short Lily Allen can get in the bin John what what's your thoughts can she get in the bin or did she do a win I I I think you just got to I'm sitting on the fence I sit on the fence with everything I'm I do not care enough about it I I get why people are angry you know there's you know there's a to be fair it's dead funny because if if she came out and she was like need to get rid of me I I I gave the kids back to the dad and I'm not seeing my kids again because my kids at the passport there's more an upro because it's a dog if that was a child that she was talking about people like bad that that's as much as bad that yeah you shouldn't really do that but to be fair sounds like a little [ __ ] imagine all the school problems and school report that's not a show quality [ __ ] human there like but because it's a dog people [ __ ] kicker I know but it's a rehome dog re home re home it's already had a terrible start in life whatever reason it's not had a terrible St you don't know you don't know if it was battered or could have yeah it could have but but then on on the flip side then isn't that good for the dog then cuz she's clearly not in a house where she what to just not have a stable home no I mean like she like to not be in the house with her because clearly they don't love the dog anyway so the dog's not missing out if anything it might be you might go to a home now where they where they have like whe where he's he or she a little slide pool and it's got treats all day treats puppuccinos every week you know they might they might go to a home where she's loved more I hope so which might be on the next episode of Tracy beer we don't know yeah well me pissed me off this week actually there is something that's piss me off more than Lily Allen oh God girls can you make me feel better because I feel like the older I'm getting the more chin hairs I'm getting and random hairs that grow out the sides of my face and to be quite honest with there I'm 36 and I'm [ __ ] sick of it just know 36 are you sick of it you should have been pissed off at 29 mate you're horible you're audible because I grow more facial hair than you and and that pisses you off more than it pisses me off [ __ ] don't try and come at me go y you can't grow a beard well you can and you're annoyed about that not me you [ __ ] wish you had this face I I can feel another one now every morning I have to pluck her hair on my chin growing old I think people need to just Embrace growing old I honestly don't know what I'm going to look like when I'm in an old people's home when I'm like 82 when there's just [ __ ] hair growing everywhere what am I going to do what am I going to do um is this you and the old people's home ho ho [ __ ] ho yeah I'm Father Christmas John at least when they're in the old Christmas but I've got less charm just get [ __ ] just that's all it be I [ __ ] H that father the Christmas isn't uh isn't Jolly as [ __ ] I'm more father Jack or Father Ted I was talking about this people need to just I right it's just a part of growing old my n had a beard her n had a beard you all have a beard you don't worry about it it's all normal it's not making me feel better shave I want to shave what you want how you going to get rid of it then I tweeze them out but this just come through fast yeah just [ __ ] shave it wax your face or something get the feet just rub it in I don't know like no cuz it makes it grow back spiky I did that on my arms once and and the hairs grow back spiky when you've eat just have a shave I don't want a shave cuz then it'll grow back spiky and then I'll have pure 5:00 shadow you really not taking this seriously enough Jonica could cry right now cry because it's right we I so I was talking we had this conversation the other day right where about hair transplants and things like like more and more younger and younger men are getting hair transplants yeah cuz they start receding a little bit I'm Reed I mean I've got not a bad hair I've got a massive spot here oh yeah put that away that's horrible but I I've not got the worst hairline but I'm I'm I'm feeling it here I'm just not asked it's like you grow old just I like botox I'm not I'm never going to have it you know I I remember my granddad saying about all his brothers and um and his his friends and they all dyed their hair like jet black like and and he were saying to M Granda going TR us to sort your hair out he was like no cuz you look [ __ ] stupid how do we like you got jet black hair [ __ ] gray eyebrows you and and I'm I'm with it I people like do you know when you see it on like um like there's a picture of my granddad on my mom's side M where he stood there and he's he stood in the wind and he's he's just got one long piece of hair growing this way and and that was the one that he grew to comb over so he like cuz he was gr Bal on on the top so he grew his hair long and combed it over yeah which a lot of like you know there's there's um a lot of older years ago that's what people just did do Hitler do that I don't know I'll give him a bancey what he says oh I'm just going to look at a picture of Hitler go carry on with your story and what's his name Trump does it oh he's horrendous isn't he yeah you were saying like more and more younger people are getting this like cosmetic surgery done to make themselves look younger and it's like you're getting 25 year olds going for hair transplants just because you start receding a little here it's like it makes them feel better I do think some people do take it too far I think those some people are the younger girls like there's been loads of news um oh do you know what I hate as well news stories about young girls having like about the one who died she went for um uh like a Brazilian but left she went for one of them yeah no no which one was it I don't know if it was a gastri band shouldn't need one um or a Brazilian but someone went for procedure in turkey and and died and um one is it worth the risk I know we've all got our own like insecurities and all that but like I find now I don't know about you but I find a lot of women look the same yes but I also think younger women look older than they actually are because of the work that they've had done yeah well if you're 22 you do not need [ __ ] Botox and I think this is the really sad thing because these girls are having all these procedures done whether that be the Brazilian butt lift um fat removal um all of your Botox your face implants like and it's not necessary like some of these girls are absolutely beautiful before they start and then as you've said everyone just kind of looks the same the same extensions the same lips the same cheekbones I I I'm not I I I don't feel it I'm I'm not feeling the the I want to grow old Grace peacefully and yeah I have admitted in the past that I have had Botox in my forehead I think I've had that three times since in the last two years as we can oh as we can see at the minute it's fully moving but it is what it is that's why I've got me Fringe and I will get it done again but I'm not going to start [ __ ] about with like face filler and lip filler and stuff like that grow old gracefully I if I if I lost my hair I lost my hair not asked I'd love to see what you look like with a shaved head I haven't got the facial structure for a shave that I'd love I'd love a [ __ ] you know you see that look where it's like bald with it beard pull that off but you can't grow the Beards no lucky I might do that then do it beard and bald dads I reckon a weird sheep so maybe not I I do think though with um I'd say there's a lot of uh because you say there's a lot of pressure on on the way women look right 100% do you think it's as bad now that it than it used to be I think it's we you think it's worse now than it used I feel like it's a lot more ex I say that on one hand but then on the other like if you look at um Dean rice and the online abuse that not in fact yeah abuse that he was getting about his misses m is just a normal woman have you seen it yeah yeah yeah yeah I know ex like you not want to get yourself like a a nice yeah like super model and he's like he loves her what yeah just like she's beautiful I mean I couldn't imagine ever saying that to someone I think in the '90s the focus was everyone was too fat everyone had to be slim and straight there was no cures or anything like that the thigh gap I'm glad that's gone the I've got a thigh gap you think you've got a thigh carry on I have um so I feel like that was all you had to be in the '90s like that was what you had to be whereas now it doesn't really matter whether you're straight whether you're Cy I think KY is probably more in but you have to look a certain way which is why people get these procedures done which is why people use filters on the photographs to slightly adjust make your nose a little bit Slimmer like I I genuinely feel like it's it's a hell of a lot worse now than it was in the '90s there's a Japanese saying and I can't remember what it is so was was it went out my head but it was about per like about it's a me Mario something like about imperfections imperfections make you perfect what about TLC's um Unpretty song Do You Remember that no you can buy your hair if it won't grow you can fix your nose if you said so you can have all the makeup the Mac can make but if you can't look inside you you can what find out who I am I to be in the position to make you feel so damn pretty I let you do lovely song let you do that cuz was better version than I just sa Japanese art of imp imp what don't know I'm trying to um I'm trying to find that Japanese thing just to end on because I think it'd be perfect I think this might be it only things that are imperfect incomplete and in read me this one EP h e m e r a l don't know I can't I can't take it in just leave the last one out so start again but leave that last word okay only things that are imperfect and incomplete can can be truly beautiful because only those things resemble the natural world okay that's a good end to episode 39 yeah don't forget you are beautiful no matter what they say words won't bring up first down no but you facial hair mate have a good one we will see you next week um have the best remaining time of your bank holiday if you're listening to it tomorrow and if you're listening to it at any other point in the week then I hope you are so happy and thrilled to be back at work after your busy bank holidays where can you find us you can find us on Tik Tok and Instagram at five pench change if anyone does want to get in touch though obviously drop us a little line via email at 5 pen change hotmail.com thank you peace up a down down