Liam Gallagher's Funniest Moments On The Jonathan Ross Show

Dogs list honestly I'm not just saying it she thinks she's a rockweiler honestly she is dangerous sausage dogs are the same they lar I got two of them you got two sausage dog dogs yeah what's the dogs called Ruby and um Ruby and Bridget like one of them what it got worse M I lived on AMP e and Jean come home with it and he was he called it Sparkle and it was about that big and I have to take it out on the heath and they get lost in the bushes and I'm studying the bushes going Sparkle and it's onstead e where it's onad e where a lot of things going the go yeah was going I was going all these Gees is coming out going okay I had to change the name on BL I'm just looking for a bit of Sparkle Sparkle come on Sparkle I was supposed to be lead singer Oasis in Oasis and I got [ __ ] that it's not nice when you get promised something and then it falls through well you know hang on you say that but I know cuz back in the day when it was the big and you'll remember this of course the newspapers were pitting Oasis against blur I BL I was in the thick of it man I I don't remember any of that [ __ ] partying getting off messing about reading the news but the reason I mention it is because he was working for blur at the time he was opening for blur that's why he ended up the way he ended up man on a baking program then I ended up supporting them on tour I toured with blur the week they released the Great Escape which is a wonderful album Jonathan and um and uh and it has Classics on it like the universal yes is an amazing song [ __ ] sell much though did it and um I think he did okay yeah it's not as good as morning glor or anything what he did I'd be inclin to agree with you yeah and um uh only for fear of getting knocked out and umce of love peace of Love well you met at the time didn't you you met at the time I probably W remember cuz you you were hardcore partying I was once with Damon in a bar at the height of you know bar uh a posh one oh yeah Posh enough for you to be in there as well okay yeah and what was it called it was called the grouo club that one yeah and you were in there and Damon was in there and I thought oh my God am I going to have to referee a fight here and the three of us sat down and had a nice drink oh did it was very civil and I think said something like you're all right it's your brother I don't like are you sure that now wasn't no then no definitely wasn't it I don't know I don't know if that happened man it did the veil was dropped did we break bread together you did it was a beautiful moment was a moment of Peace can I say it was I'm having it mate because I'm not I don't I don't know that ain't happening it did happen no that would have been no it did happen and it was quite erotic may I say well hold on he would know you would you can tell there one was I not there I don't want to point this at you but I think last time I saw blur Boys in thinger there was a pool table at the top and I remember launching snooker balls at their heads was not sitting down and having drinks you don't have any any GES to anyone now though do you no no one only no no no peace and love you sound like my ideal guy you drink you don't really care you're quite honest you know how long it took me to get ready you just put on your little your jacket your child not that little man it's pretty it's extra lar it's actually big yeah yeah no no no don't care no no I don't give a [ __ ] mate well that's it's very attractive that other [ __ ] clowns I'm so pleased you came back on you know I'm I'm kind of like a lot of people I am thinking it's a shame it does feel to me loud like Oasis we're never going to see Oasis together again no well never mind if o got back together that there would be nothing to talk about in these situations there' be nothing to there'd be there'd be no hope left because there'd be nothing to wish for it's the last thing it's the last thing it's it's sort of like the end of the world when when you got back together that's I think we'd find something it would be the cat mate but it's not going to happen is it you know who cares anyways I I know for the fact there's nothing left on the table really you know what I mean we did have a good crack you know what I mean I can sit there like when I met you and go oh we should have done that when I was in when I was in a band we did everything yeah yeah yeah you had The Full Experience M we didn't leave anything on the table the only the only reason I asked cuz I know there was a period when I got the feeling you wanted to you like the idea of someone off his 100 million power to do a few gigs in that man you're going to sort of go all right then yeah was that but there's a lot of money knocking about is there so you know me it wasn't 100 million was it it was 10000 million through like a sword and that and I'm thinking what I'm not a [ __ ] you know what I mean I AIT up and one thing The Naked Chef I like about you is and I think I understand it more now is you often say very provocative things and I realize now this is you joking I mean I think sometimes it was presented in the press as you being serious when you'd say a not an insult but a kind of slightly mocking thing or slightly ribbing thing about someone and people think okay why is he being up there but now I see you're being funny you're making jokes about people yeah I'm a comedian man yeah but you're let's see uh if you can remember who you were talking about here he looks like [ __ ] balloon with a [ __ ] weater BS crushed on top no no not Wayne Rooney Wayne Wayne Mooney you said that about Wayne Mooney okay okay this was someone who lived near you he said I got told off for throwing stones at his windows pissed up asking him to chunk down some bacon rolls yeah that was the chef he called uh The Naked Chef dude Jamie Jamie what's his second name Jamie Oliver Jamie Oliver correct cuz we used to go with a pub across the road in iate on Amstead and he bought the house foolishly right across roll from the Booz like we were drinking in and on the way home we' be going yeah he's got some scran in there and he'd come out of his window he' be going Liam stop [ __ ] about and getting the kids to bed we're going to just Chuck us down a couple of bacon I mean I mean and then he moves you know what I mean I wonder why he moved no the funny thing is he's moved up to where I live now as well okay okay here's another one I've had more fun with the tin of sardines who are you saying that about got to be no man it was no this time it was no it's no here's a good one I like this one this is quite a long po everyone looks like you're talking about a band here everyone looks like they've got [ __ ] nits and eat lentil soup with their sleeves rolled up they look like [ __ ] armish people you know them ones with the big sides that don't use electricity growing their own food and putting barns up I know it was who was it m it was M okay okay that I uh I think that would be a good quiz show I think we could sell that show yeah yeah no I am a bit of a [ __ ] no but you know what I know you funny man funny is it they were jokes yeah man I don't the many are like you know people take the piss out of me yeah yeah and I can take it but you know so if they want get in that's what it's on you laughing John I saw you nodding at The Spider Man the fear of spiders yeah it's let me just quickly just finish this like this morning before like getting me air a little trimmer at that's like the cat bounces through the window with a massive bird in her mouth like an eagle steams up the stairs and I'm like and I'm like mid M Cur is in and I was like ah yeah I to leg it out dived over the next door got the hairdress he who C me bar it and I mean you're going to have to deal with this mate you know what I mean he's like no I I can't handle pigeons I don't like pigeons you know what I mean the way you walk and all that and the nod and all that I was going I ain't having this so someone's going to have to sort it out Debbie's down the road you know what I mean like so anyway he's G to get it so this is before I was going look man I'm going to have to I can't man we going on Jonathan Ross man I'm like we going have to sort this [ __ ] out you know what I mean so anyway he's there with a put pan on the brush getting his pigeon that the two cats are on then it flew flies into the the kitchen and then sits on one of these like little things like a little perch and that then he's got it and anyway bend it off in the garden that but that's what I had to deal with this morning nightmare I had no idea why you told that story but I loved every second of it lger man the lagger man he's spiders he was on about spiders was about the spiders we okay yeah give a [ __ ] anyway a TP at the beginning of it you got T yeah TP was this on the list already were you was but I've already had one there it is I've had one before and that but it got battered by a deer run in it and then got stuck in it wow and then like I come back and slashes down the side of it and I thought like some lunatics come like stabbed me in that but I went in popped in and there was a deer in there like with big antlers and that so we ruined the other one so I brought a new one cuz you could get them cheap last summer cuz there was nothing going on in Glon but that's an amazing story bang on it's it's a better story for the deer somewhere there's a deer on a [ __ ] in a tent and Liam gallager exactly yeah a d man a d sees me popping up you know what I mean yeah so it ruined it so yeah so I got a new Animals one I'm digging it me man as you get older I like walking the dog in that around the woods it's nice man on the new Goldilocks and John and let me ask you about animals because I know uh you've got some sheep mhm I imagine do you have any pets or are the Sheep pets or do you have dogs that kind I've got a dog and a cat dog and a cat mhm you have dogs I've got nothing to contribute I've got oh I have got I've got two dogs and I've got a cat and i' I've moved to the I've grow up in the city I've so you've moved to the country as well now yeah and I and I youve don't know if you've have you always been on the farm have you always been out there no no like I don't know about you but I was quite shocked with how many animals there are I always knew there were animals but it seems like it's slightly too many what you mean the quantity or the variety of both I've seen them all I've seen Partridge deer Badger I ain't seen a fox wow they were all in leam yeah I could move for a fox in leam seen a woodpecker I've seen a woodpecker that's M they're mad is they uh you've adopted a dog yeah now where did the dog what's the dog's name buttons buttons where did uh where Laughing Man buttons is a perfectly good name but we're all thinking of you in your hiking boot shouting buttons and you're depends man how I say it sometimes when there's no one about I say it really in a high pitched voice she understands it and that but when there's a couple of people about I go deep like B white go buttons and she doesn't understand it and she's going what's you know we need going on here she she needs the high pitch voice if no if no one was here and you had to call your dog how would you do it oh it's high man yeah yeah come on let's have a listen Oh no you're all right [Music]