An *interesting* 2024 VMAs Red Carpet Fashion Roast

- Ah, I'm. ♪ On the floor ♪ Today. (laughs) Did I purposely film on the floor just so I can make that stupid ass J-Lo reference? Yes, very much, y'all already fucking know me. So I was chilling today, just finished editing a video. Literally putting that out tomorrow on this day that I'm filming this. Walking away from a screen, walking away from lights, you know, about to order some Uber Eats, maybe give myself like a Mai Tai or some shit, no, I wasn't. When then, suddenly, out of just like basic curiosity, I decided to check Twitter. When I noticed they very peculiar mention that I got from somebody. "If MacDoesIt doesn't do the next VMAs fashion review, I'm gonna cry." And I was like, oh, okay, yeah, I'll do the next VMA fashion review. I did it last year, I did it the year before, it's what I do, girl. When is the VMAs, I wonder? Is it this coming Sunday? Like the VMAs used to be on a fucking Sunday? Or like a Monday once in a while? No, no, sis, they're today. And it's Wednesday. What's going on? Okay, what's going on, MTV? Y'all having money problems? Not getting views you need to be, I mean, that's very obvious. You're playing "Ridiculousness" like 24/7 on the fucking channel, it's very apparent that y'all aren't getting ratings. Last year, it was on a Tuesday and I was already like weirded out by that, and now this year, it's on a Wednesday and that's like even worse. Why are we putting award shows on Hump Day? Most people are already struggling to get like through the day, I don't really think people are in the mood to come home and watch Taylor Swift be tipsy for two hours straight, you know? Oh you know she's a vodka girl. Like, her entire persona screams, "I drink vodka cranberries." I miss the days when we were a proper country, right? When white supremacists stayed anonymous in their grandparents' basement and popular award shows stayed on a fucking Sunday, bitch. Sabrina Carpenter, delicious, delicious, delicious, casual, basic, you know, pretty basic. It's giving Hollywood starlet, which is like a usual thing that happens. I'm starting to realize there's kind of a pattern that's been going on. It's like whenever like a pop girly is in her prime, they seem to come to award shows dressed very like traditional Hollywood. Olivia Rodrigo did it at the start of her viral ride, now Sabrina Carpenter's doing it during the best year of her career. I don't know, maybe it's like a Disney pop girly thing, I don't know. But there seems to be a pattern here. But I like it, it's cute, it's giving Brillo pad, but like cunt. So Brillo pad, just period. Chappell Roan. I'm sorry, I just got a little bit emotional. This is the first time I'm reviewing Chappell Roan on a red carpet, girly, look at her, ah, ah. I just love seeing gays winning. It's just like great to see. This time last year, about like only 5% of the people who know who the hell Chappell Roan is now even listened to her back then. The dramatic exponential boom that she experienced within the past 12 months alone is unfucking seen, you know? There's no blueprint for it, there's no organized structure for it. I hope her mental health is okay and I hope she's going to bed every night showered in millions, bitch, okay? 'Cause she deserves it. I really like this. The sword is giving like Joan of Arc being woken up by a raid in the middle of slumber, you know? Like, she couldn't put her armor on fast enough so she put on some gloves and grabbed her sword and ran on out and killed them all and is still alive today. What did Joan of Arc do? (laughs) Taylor Swift. Oh. Okay. Very much giving, what's her name? What's her face? That YouTuber girl with the violin, Lindsey Graham? - [Speaker] No. - Lindsey Graham? - No. - Lindsey Graham? - No. - Who's Lindsey Graham? - This dude. - Am I saying someone else's name? - Yes. - I feel like I'm saying the name of some like weird ass conservative. - [Speaker] You are. - I'm sorry, I like it. It's very much like that girl coded, whatever that girl's name is. You know the girl I'm talking about? That girl, very much in that era. Honestly, there's like a level of confidence in this red carpet photo that I have never seen in this woman before in my life, which is like shocking. But, yeah, but I like it, I like the yellow plaid. It's really giving Merida if she was into piss play, you know? You know, gays? You know, gays. Do you know gays? Ah, ah, took too long to answer. Homophobe, homophobic, Found one, woke mom. Tyla, oh. We can see her choni. Have you ever like gotten into like your grandparents arts and craft chest, found their like giant spools of yarns and decided to wrap the yarn around your body to like turn yourself into a mummy? No? You're weird, you're weird, get a life. But that's what this reminds me of. Not that I did that or anything. It's like I really wanna be into it, like I really wanna get into this but then like you get to the strings that are falling just straight down and it's just giving like piss covered mop to me. Why am I thinking about piss too much? Hold on, hold on, hold on, I'm not a piss girly. I'm not a piss girly. I'm not a piss girly, I promise I'm not a piss girly. I'm not! Megan Thee Stallion. Ugh. Is she stuck? One, I feel like I've seen someone wear something like this before with like the like falling skirt situation and stockings and a little like cat suit on top. I don't know, maybe a drag queen, I don't know, I think so. I think I saw it in "RuPaul's Drag Race". It's giving, it's... Like, I wanna like it because it's so unconventional and like weird and like off-putting, but it's a little too off-putting for me to enjoy it, you know what I mean? Like, she really came to this red carpet dressed like a witch's broom and, honestly, work, okay? Halloween's around the corner, she said, "I'm ready." Camila Cabello is here giving us wife of a mobster vibes. She looks like she has hitmen on speed dial. She looks like, if she wanted to take you out, she would. Don't be skipping out on the rent or you might wake up with your ankles broken one day. Dead horse in the bed, you know, all that shit. Just sitting in that mobster car, drinking her little martini while her husband is outside dragging someone's face across the concrete. And honestly, fierce, honestly, I'm into it. Lil Nas X. (sighs) You see, sir, I appreciate you going against the grain, giving us something different than the average male gives us at an award show. But what I don't appreciate is you walking on the red carpet looking like a bootleg Power Rangers villain. It's very much giving, "We have Power Rangers at home." I understand you're trying to give us like cunty biker vibe. But Rosalia did that two years ago, so like catch up. The jacket is nice, the jacket is really cute. That's about it. The helmet, hate it, hate it, absolutely hate it. The side spikes are just like overkill. We're giving "Teletubbies" on ketamine. Cute. Katy Perry and Orlando Bloom. Are they together? Did I miss a chapter? First of all, what is with Katy Perry and British men? But then, second of all, I understand why Katy Perry chasing British men. But I like the dress, I feel like I've seen it before. Specifically, I feel like I've seen Tyla wear something like this but I might be crazy. I have reviewed and looked at too many red carpets, okay? There's only so many silhouettes you can make for a dress, so things are just starting to repeat in my head. Lil Nas X tried to mix it up by putting spikes on a helmet but I almost threw up in my mouth. So was that worth it? Tate McRae. No, no, no, fire whoever put you in that. If that was your decision, girl, you're grounded. Like, I get that she's like the dancer pop girly but doesn't even be coming on these red carpets like she's about to host a burlesque show in Las Vegas. I just can't get into it, is the bra on the outside of the outfit? Fire whoever you need to. Tinashe. (gasps) It's okay. I feel like red carpet fashion's become very like uniform as of late. Nothing overtly flashy, we're not getting like insane amount of like diamonds and bling like we used to. We're getting like solid colors, usually black, but like weird interesting shapes and cutouts on the body. During like the Lady Gaga "Fame Monster" days, everyone was like, "Blah!" Different colored hair, diamonds on titties, and now the most we get is Tyla looking like a covered mop. Addison Rae. Huh? Huh? Oh okay. What is happening? What are your boobs? What is happening? Why are your boobies? Huh? After reviewing so many red carpets, you can start to tell certain celebrities decide to dress a certain way to appear on certain publications and to get a certain amount of publicity. This is very much one of those moments because, what the actual fuck? The hip toile and the moose knuckle is already kind of weird but then the like weirdly shaped boob breastplate situation that's going on and then being covered in feathers. She knew what she was doing, she knew what she was doing. And I like kind of stan her for that a little bit. Don't like it, it's hideous, let's burn it. But you got a reaction, congrats. Shawn Mendes. Don't care, okay? At this point, if he's not eating my ass yet, why the fuck am I still talking about him, right? GloRilla, oh. This outfit looks photoshopped upon you. I think it's 'cause the outfit is very reflective and there's like a lot of flash probably happening to the point that the outfit just looks not real. Like, you walked up on that red carpet fully naked, everyone got scared, and so they FCC photoshopped some clothes on your ass, that's what it looks like. I love the hair, absolutely love the hair. Big Sean, no. Paris Hilton, oh. Hm, no. But we can talk about it though, we can talk about it a little bit. It's giving... It's giving that like moment when Cinderella made her own dress and the ugly stepsisters were like, "Oh, you think you're gonna go to the ball he-he-he-he," and they start ripping up the dress, that's what the dress looked like afterwards. Which is kind of ironic to make that comparison since she's like a rich ass motherfucker. Like, I'm really sitting up here being like, "Hmm, you look poor." You know she's never gonna be. Flo Milli. (gasps) Yummy, I am into it, yes, baby. It's giving me like a little bit of B52s a little bit, you know, it's like a spring dress. This is very much a spring dress in the beginning of fall, which I stan even harder. And then with the hair, she's giving a little bit of a SZA. And honestly, I stan that even more, okay? Kerri Colby, work. Come on, 2000s Britney era, we see it. Benson Boone? Who? His name sounds very familiar. Is he that guy that's sings? ♪ The beautiful things that I've got ♪ ♪ Meh, meh ♪ Keep on fucking hearing just that part, I just keep on hearing that part. I have no clue who sings that but he looks like someone that might sing that. Is he that person? Can you please sing other songs please? I really wanna hear something different from you. TS Madison, okay, she got the butterfly theme from Flo Milli, glad to see the girls linked up. They simply said, "I am over 2024, it's now March of 2025 in my mind. Thank you very much, bring out the butterflies." Jordan Chiles, whoo, girl. Now that I think about it, I don't think I've ever seen this girl outside of her gymnastics uniform. And it's giving and she's tatted up too, see, I didn't know anything about this girl. All I know is that the Olympic committee is weird as fuck, who were trying to take her medal away from her. Amelia Di, Di, Dimon, Dimolden, the Chicken Shop girl. No. You see what I mean? You see what I mean? Mundane colors, nothing super flashy. Usually wearing black, but just having like the weirdest cut out. That's the style right now, that's the red carpet fashion we've been seeing this year. And the cuts have been very funky on these girls. It's very much giving like Jennifer Lopez. But anyways, I kind of hate this. Like, it would be a vibe if it was just the black part but not like the sheer black. And also remove the straps. It would've been a move, she probably would not have been able to move, but it would've been a move. Halle Bailey, all right. Once again, weird cutout, funky weird cutout. So this time the dress is a little bit flashy, I was really liking the dress. But then you continue to look down and you get to the bottom of it, right? You see that, right? Like I'm not just imagining that, that's right in front of our faces together, correct? Gross, right? Disgusting? It's giving like that weird stringy fringe they put at the end of party tablecloth. Doechii, ah, ah, ah. What are you wearing, girl? Where are we going to school today? What are we learning? What's happening? You late for calculus? She's very much in her, "I am a female rapper," era. I feel like it is a rite of passage for when female rappers are in their, "I am a female rapper and don't you forget it," era, they always come onto a red carpet in some type of suit and tie situation. Megan Thee Stallion did it, Missy Elliott did it, Doja Cat did it, you know? And now it's Doechii. And I wanna say I'm into it, but I absolutely despise the pattern. I love your mix tape. Listen to her mix tape, guys, it's so great. Halsey, I did not recognize you, but I am into this, girl. You are giving Jersey wife if I've ever seen it. This is an outfit you see someone walking down the boardwalk with, you know? Like, she's a nail tech and her husband owns a loan business, they live in the same town since they were young. They been together since they were in high school. Anitta. I need a? This is the girl that woke Joan of Arc up in the middle of her slumber to tell her that there's a raid happening and they need to go fight right now. That's what this is giving. It's like giving the girl in a fantasy movie that owns a bunch of snakes, like, she just owns a bunch of snakes. That's the snake lady, she turns their venoms into magic potions and whispers in their ears to attack. The Orgogorps of Ringatar. So are we gonna write the movie or not, George R. R. Martin? Cyndi Lauper, wow. Hope you find those Dalmatians, girl. Naomi Scott. I don't know who this is, but she is the most twink looking female I've ever seen in my entire life, okay? Sasha Colby, wow, hate it, actually hate it, don't like it, really. The hair is giving "Toddlers & Tiaras" and the dress is giving African neck sponge. We're gonna have to skip this one, honey. Shaboozey. I ran into Shaboozey when I was at like some random bar by The Grove. He was like just walking down the street casually and no one else around me recognized him, but I recognized him because, girl, I knew those locks, I know those locks from a mile away, bitch. But anyways, this outfit is boring, you're a country man, so we're not expecting much. Coco Jones, ah! Wow! Wow! Okay, ooh. Oh, we're back in it. Ooh, we have sucked back in, ooh, we're biting down, oh, it tastes good. It's giving ghost. That's it. It's giving like smoke. That's it. I like all the little wavy strings at the bottom, it's a vibe, it's very much reminded me of like that anime fox with like 5 million tales. I don't know what anime is, but y'all know what I'm talking about. DJ Khaled, whatever. (laughs) Ashley Gill and Grant Gibbs, a twink and a redhead, come on. We stan, we stan a little bit. A little bit. I'm not really a big fan of wearing a leather jacket with no undershirt, that just feels hot and like uncomfortable. Summer Walker. Oh, okay, girly. It's kind of boring. Mikey Angelo, Jesus Christ. Are those bedazzled sperms climbing up your jacket? What's going on? Oh, I'm at the end of the page, so did not that many people show up to the VMAs this year? I mean, they did not really advertise the VMAs at all this year, girl, who was even fucking nominated? Beyonce didn't come out with any music videos so why the fuck should I care, right? But I do like wanna review one more person, I didn't even like announce I was like ending it yet. I didn't do my thing where like, "One more couple people." I feel like incomplete. Okay, here we go, here we go. Flavor Flav. I will say I am pretty impressed 'cause the clock is smaller this time. That's it. I guess not that people showed up or at least not that many people did the red carpet this year. The VMAs seem to be in a weird period right now with their marketing, with the way they're setting shit up. They seems to be in a very interesting period. There seems to be like no energy or like enthusiasm or like any general excitement around the VMAs anymore. Am I the only one? I might be the only one that feels that way. I'm also like not like a stan. Maybe some of y'all are, like, "What are you talking about, girl? I was waiting for this all year." I don't know, girl, I'm kind of disappointed. Like, no one was like outright terrible but not that many people were like outright, like, drop dead, oh my God, I'm about to like pass over, set up my funeral, I'm going into cardiac arrest, life alert, life alert, help me, help me, I've fallen and I can't get up. The only person that gave me close to that was Coco Jones. Coco Jones and Chappell Roan won the night in my head. And my least favorite? You already know, you already know, you already know. It's because of the helmet, it's because of the helmet. But anyways, I'm gonna go. What is going on, VMAs? Where's the Olivia Rodrigo? The Beyonce, the Lizzo, Meghan Trainor, maybe? Give me a Lindsay Lohan or some shit. I mean, y'all decide to do it on a Wednesday, okay, people be busy, bitch, people be busy. Like me, okay? Now I'm gonna go back to doing nothing and ordering a Mai Tai, bye. Wow! Did it in the darkness 'cause I totally forgot to do it at the end of the video. He-he-he-he.