Heartbreaking News For SNL Kenan Thompson Fans

this was interesting and creative and I thought I'd share it with you it's starting to feel like something I've wanted to say my whole life live from New York it's Saturday night please welcome Kon Thompson all right all right all right what's up DNC all right y'all remember this big old book from before the Republican blueprint for a second Trump term see that's the thing I don't like man is that they keep using this as if this is Trump this is not trumps this is not trumps this is a private organization M with multiple organizations that put together this document any focus on Project 202 is a distraction away from real policy I know I keep hear people even some people that I know that I thought we was cool keep on talking about this damn project is anybody can write anything there's a couple other books that are worst mean Camp comes to mind uhoh we use that one too that's that's that's I heard that's what they going to use that's what they want commonly to use y'all lose your mind wouldn't you I know what I need to do I need to show up with that book and be like if y'all get black people reparations I'mma use spj 2025 on you keep going Ken it is a yeah yeah boo it is a real document that you can read for yourself at kamah harris.com project 2025 you ever seen a document that could kill a small animal and democracy at the same time here it is you know how when you download an app and there are hundreds of pages there that you don't read it's just the terms and conditions and you just click agree right well these are the terms and conditions of a second Trump presidency you vote for him you vote for all of this let's take a [Applause] look man I'mma give it up for Keenan man I like Keenan I think Keenan is hilarious right so I sat through it it's interesting Keenan is doing his thing like I don't agree with the project 2025 thing but I will say this I want to say this on the record this was damn smart of the Democrats the DNC did their damn thing the energy to even do a seg like this shows that you're trying to be creative and think outside the box you know what I'm saying and that's fresh so let's keep going but I just want to put the record to give props where it is like I say we can we can appreciate when something's on point we can call it out when it's not okay come on Keeny what you got baby all right we got Matt here with us tonight is Matt here hey there he is Matt how are you sir all right Matt Now Matt I understand that you work as an AV Tech in Nevada and you make a decent hourly rage is that [Applause] right oh I don't know if we can hear Matt can we hear Matt so who's going to fix it keep speaking Matt till we can hear you you know I think somebody decided to Matt shouldn't speak yeah I think the DNC people was like Hey Matt how you doing Matt was like it was like okay Matt give us five minutes and we'll be right with you we're going live in a minute hey Becky um need you to cut down Matt's mic yeah we're gonna have a certain technical difficulty when it comes to Matt's mic that would be so harsh my he's so excited but look at him it looks like he's on Pro Z Xanax and similax at the same time we can't have this guy go up here in front of everybody he going to ruin this show okay go to all right we're going to you man three two one uhhuh okay that's good I guess we're going to move on from Matt I'm saying and this is Becky Becky can we hear you hi Kenan it's great to be here thank you all right good now Becky you're married correct I am me and my wife have been together for about eight years oh that's amazing very very cute thanks but I have got some bad news for you I hate that on page 584 project 2025 calls for the elimination of protection for lgbtq plus Americans hey man see this is always confusing to me man what the what are the protections for lgbtq like what can nobody punch you or nothing nobody's supposed to get punched like I'm trying to understand what are the ex the extra protections that lgbtq people supposed to get I don't get it I don't know what they are Maybe maybe somebody will enlight me but I can tell you this considering that black men are end dangered species in this country considering we get incarcerated three times more than white folks how about some special protections for black guys I'm just saying my life expect tocy is seven to eight years less than the white guy I kind of think black men are the ones that need special protection I'm just saying you know I'm just saying just saying but I'm serious guys what are the special protections that are afforded for lgbtq people aren't they people like what are you able to do to lgbtq people as you aren't able to do to everybody else the same things that kill gay people kill straight people bullets bullets poverty stress McDonald's I want to know guys let me know what's what's different heart disease gout a cheat neck alcohol fitel we all D from the same stuff is there something special that lgbtq people die from that Reg that that you know heterosexual couples don't die from too much time together what what I'm trying to figure it out child support you don't even have that one yeah if anything all right I'm just saying man they always point this out and they keep saying this the 20 the project 2025 was it project 2025 got a clause in there that's you know that's I don't get it it's not a law book I could write a project I do have a project on my computer oh no Tim black got a project telling you man don't realize when you're being Bamboozled so yeah right back to the Stone Age I'm afraid so right back to the Stone Age that's terrible yeah it is thank you Becky for being here and making that wonderful Point all right next up we have Nirvana Nirvana are you with us and your people are with us as well all right good now Nirvana I understand that you are on insulin to manage your diabetes yes yes and thanks to President Biden and vice president Harris I only PID $35 a month for my insulin why I got to keep hearing about the damn insulin everybody look look guys I'm tired of saying it but I got to say it all the time Donald Trump came up with a about insulin in 2019 he signed an executive order for the same [ __ ] $35 that wasn't going far enough it's nothing to brag about I don't know why bid felt the need to shut down this executive order when he took office and then try to take credit for it but I'll say this that [ __ ] should be free okay epip pens was also one that he had an executive order for all life saving drugs should be like a dollar or two yeah if we the richest country in the world why come we can't make sure our citizens are able to pay for their medication other countries don't have this we pay more two three four five times more than other than other countries pay not just for insulin what about all the Cancer drugs sis what about all the other drugs that other people are on why I just keep he about insulin insulin insulin because that's the one that they did something about and I'm sorry guys I can't get excited about it fine stop taking credit for other people's work and two this ain't far enough this is not far enough people are losing their homes and going bankrupt not because of insulin payments but because of operations and heart conditions and and all the other ailments as well as well there's a lot okay it's a lot of other illnesses that people can have that not covered by Biden all right so I'm just going to keep going man there'll been members of this show Friends of this show that I've seen pass away throughout the years because I've been doing this a decade we've been covering politics for about eight nine years so it kind of ticks me off right when I hear people talk like this is such an mon Monumental accomplishment that's because their expectations are so damn low let's keep going that is great that is great but on page [Applause] 465 project 2025 calls for millions of people like yourself to pay more for prescription drugs like insulin now if this to this this proves my point in 2019 Donald Trump signed an EXE could avoided a lower the cost of insulin specifically and also to negotiate prices and get prices similar to Canada in other countries right the same prices why would he then be a part of a project that does the opposite of what he signed an executive order to do now don't answer that question because we all know those who are not in good faith are just going to say uh Trump is Hitler he's melini he Ed I mean I want those somebody black in it he I mean hey I know cuz re realism realism or reasonableness is that allow when you are contaminated and infected with the Democratic party nonsense you can't think for yourself you couldn't say hey that don't make sense why did he sign an executive order to do the opposite doesn't that kind of prove this project ain't his project why doesn't it line up with what he did with the executive order that's cuz it don't have to this is their project this is their wish list and once again my beef with this is if we talking about a book that Trump didn't put out that this campaign didn't come up with we're not talking about real [ __ ] we talking about a dumb a book somebody else put together how is that relevant to Our Lives why are people falling for this it's a scary book written by people mat's in power all right let's keep going Johnson why why well I guess maybe to help big farmer make more money that they can donate to Republican politicians I assume hey man Democrats and Republicans take a lot of pharmaceutical money I said Democrats and Republicans take a lot of pharmaceutical money B took like $9 million some big farmer KLA took like two million y'all don't want us y'all don't want y'all don't want this cuz actually no numbers and facts Kenan don't know none of that he he told they told me what to say Tim I don't had time to be reading I'm the funny man I make jokes yeah that makes sense yes unfortunately it does make sense all right let's talk to Anita Anita are you there yes hello Anita hello and Anita what do you do for a living I'm an OBGYN who delivers babies and does surgery an OBGYN she is an OBGYN that delivers babies uh-oh uhoh yeah it's bad news isn't it sure is on page 459 project 2025 resurrects a law from the 1800 it's called the commstock ACT to ban abortion Nationwide and throw health care providers in jail oh my God that is awful yes it is awful look guys one good thing about this segment is that you realize that there are actual people that you may know who actually believe this [ __ ] they actually believe it and not all of them are stupid they just believe it's not all of them are drinking Kool-Aid they just believe it because somebody they trusted told them this is Trump's plan and that that that tells you that's that's why we got so many problems with you know with trying to come to like a I don't know where we can all like understand each other cuz we working with different types of music one of us is playing hip-hop the other one's playing country west and the other one's playing you know orchestra music I don't know chamber music it's like what somebody else playing some jazz all at the same time it's sound like a bunch of racket people believe this believe it all right let's do one more it's Sharia with us Sharia are you there hey Keenan I'm here yes Sharia I love it all right let's talk to you um I understand that you work for the federal government yes sir I'm in the United States Department of Education I'm a proud civil servant and a proud Union president she works for the Department of Education and she's a proud civil servant well unfortunately for you on page 78 project 2025 calls for president Trump to purge the Civil Service of everyone who isn't a Maga loyalist are you a Maga loyalist now Kina absolutely not you know what um this is funny man I I got to give it to them man give it up for them for this man hey I'm just I'm just asking I mean you might as well be because also page 319 calls for the complete elimination of the Department of Education [Applause] I yeah there there a there's a bunch of stuff in here but that's all we have time for at the moment just remember everything that we just talked about is very real it is in this book you can read it online at kamah harris.com pro202 and most importantly you can stop it from ever happening by electing KLA Harris as the the next president of the United States man I gotta give it up for my brother man my brother Keenan man he he did his damn thing man that was interesting I liked it um and I do understand how some people could be afraid of a book in fact there are a lot of us who are afraid of books in general especially books with facts in them yeah people you know people are afraid of books oh no knowledge my finger wants to swipe I can't read a book but check this out y'all in the same spirit that the Democrats just displayed I got a book in front of me that's pretty scary for some Democrats too particularly the ultra liberals it's called a dictionary and in his book there are pages that are kind of SC you page 47 boy human being with male with male junk page 123 girl I know you're melting right your face is about to fall off scary human being with female junk it's going to get really scary now page 422 man and for the grand cendo of all time scary I'm talking poge level [ __ ] man exorcism Exorcist make your ha spit around three times then jump off your shoulders for the win page 534 woman taada [Applause]