Jana Kramer On Wedding Plans, Severe Postpartum Anxiety, Allan Russell As A Dad, & More

Jenna welcome I feel like we haven't talked in person in Forever it's always over Zoom I like wait what I know so it's so good to see you nice to see how about Jay you said that he's about to start kindergarten in the fall and I can started crying again I'm like I can't I'm just like he's just my My Little Love Bug like just it's going to be a hard day it's going to be a hard day anyone that wants to see me have a complete meltdown on my socials kindergarten day bus driving away will be it it's going to be it it's going to be it but you get to do it all over again in few few more years you know six six months now um yeah six months I know he's so cute he's adorable we just fitted him for his little Kilt for the wedding day God oh my God I love it I love it how are the kids going to be involved in the wedding uh Julie's going to be the flower girl Jay is the ring bear um yeah and and Roman's just going to be the little pumpkin with his little kill I love that so much what's it like being a mom again like a new mom all over again I will say the first few months was a shock again because you go right you know they can take care of themselves they could even make themselves breakfast and then it was like who you're back in it I definitely had um postpartum way more postpartum anxiety this go around I think because I just felt like um oh my gosh what am I doing I forgot everything that kind of anxiety that goes along with it but now that I'm like oh back in the Rhythm sure yeah you kind of second guessed yourself this time around yeah then I just didn't know if I if I could not that I couldn't do it I'm like I know I can do it it's just um I think having the other ones and making sure I have time for for my you know for the bigs um but now it's like six months we're good sure have they settled into their roles nicely they love it like they're the best big brother and sister I'm sure it's nice because they're old enough to help out and like you know change change now like the Romans he's they're not changing diapers they want nothing to do like can you throw this away and like but um you know now that Roman's smiling and laughing giggling like they enjoy trying to make him I love that what's Alan like as a dad he's the the most incredible dad ever I mean I just feel like I went through all of that to just I mean he's just he's an amazing partner he's so supportive He Loves Me Like just incredibly um we both get each other really well um and he's just like he's he's the best dad I mean he's he got up with him almost every single night and didn't even complain about it like it was he's he's wonderful that's great is he living With You full time okay that's great that's amazing what is he like as a dad to your your kids was that an easy transition for you or easier maybe than you thought um he honestly that that's what gets me emotional too in times because he's he's so good with them like he um he taught both of them how to ride their bikes um he he's so patient with them but also now he's starting to get like you know hey a little bit more with the rules and stuff you know he had to kind of like warm up just going to come straight in and start disciplining them you know um but you know they respect him and he respects them and um TS them in at night it's like there's it just feels it feels like a family and I just it feels um wonderful and you know Mike has been a great you know he's really supportive of our relationship and um we just we have a really good thing all together you know Mike and Allen get along um it's just it's I never could have imagined it like this right yeah no I know we've talked for many times and it's so nice to see you in such a good Rhythm and I know I think you wrote on Instagram that like now or now or you finding the best version of yourself or I'm always a work in progress you feel like at this point that you are the best version of your of yourself up to this point I mean I think there's always moments where you can reflect and grow and go okay like that wasn't my best let me take that and and do better next time on something else and so I'm just I'm always going to evolve and continue to evolve to to continue to be the best version how do you feel like you and Mike got to this point where you're able to you know openly communicate and co-parent well we had to kill our last relationship and just let that be there um we had to form a new relationship and you know there's still some resentments that Brew at times that will come up but I feel like even when they do we're able to have a healthier conversation he knows where I get frustrated I know where he gets frustrated and so it's just again realizing that the past is the past that doesn't even get brought up anymore it's now just like you know um us being the best co-parents we can be for our kids and the happier we are together the happier the kids will be and you know he's he's incredibly flexible which is fantastic um you know I'm flexible with him and so I think being um kind to each other and just letting resentments die is um is good for everybody involved was it ever hard for him to see Alan step into that Dad role in a way it was in the beginning um but I know he knows how much Allan is great for the kids too um and you know I try to include my ex into a lot of these things like when he was teaching him I'm like oh my god look you know jayon is riding his bike so I mean the reality is we just have the kids more so it's you know it's trying to make him feel included so that way he doesn't feel left out and stuff like that so was like he needs you know more help with his bike so just like trying to encourage you know and again you know I think he appreciates that piece of it to definitely I know when he was on your podcast a while back he said that he was seeing somebody is that still the case um okay no but I will let him speak for his thing yeah I think he's I think he's happy and single but good okay and then he's happy for you that you're getting married again he's like can I come to the wedding I'm like no you cannot you cannot no where we draw the line I was like no no no right no but um but thank you the offer we're good no but no he's he's very happy yeah I know that you were you opened up about your feelings about getting married again and how you maybe were embarrassed which you have nothing to be embarrassed about but do you still feel that way after you talked about it um I don't I think I I know even after I post I'm like why did I do that like sometimes I'm like just be quiet Jan um but I I think you know would I like a different would I have lik to have not been married that many times yeah of course but also I'm not going to fault the person that tries to find love and I've gotten it wrong a few times I believe I've gotten it right this time and also I just I do believe in love and I and um I'm not I'm not ashamed of it because of where I am now like I'm I'm grateful to be with Allan and in this family so um how could I you regret the past does anything scare you about marriage this time around no no that's good think about that no it doesn't yeah big wedding small wedding very very very small small very small super super super small and you said Yes to the Dress we're all good to go yes know like it's getting altered when I come back it's get alter yeah oh that's so great that's so awesome yeah I love that so much for you it seems like you're very happy and and no more babies after this no I would feeling the family's complete I would have loved one more but I just I'm I'm old and the miscarriage before so I'm like I'm I think I'm done now yeah yeah you feel like your family is complete that's good I know Austin said on your podcast that he would be open to a one Tre Hill reunion if the script was right you feel that way as well absolutely absolutely yeah it'd be so much fun I loved Alex like she just she's she was a hot mess but I just I loved her and I just I would love to play her again yeah do you still are you friendly with a lot of the cast or Hillary Shantel and I stay pretty close yeah and then Austin and and you know um Stephen and I chat sometimes at the conventions and stuff and James I'm sure it's nice to see everybody happy and in I I just want everyone to be happy just want everybody happy that's my are you and Austin going to work together again I hope so he's my favorite actor to work with yeah definitely well this is a powerful movie sometimes hard to watch I'm sure it may have been hard for you to film as well but why why telling the story was so important for you you know I when I I have a lovely relationship with lifetime they're amazing partners and I told them they they asked me what I wanted to and I for me I aie around domes violence a true story um because it is very close to my my past and my history and I want to be able to tell those kind of stories and hopefully give voices to other women that can't find their voice in sure why this story in particular when uh when lifetime reached out about this story and I read it I mean it was chilling know you trust those that are close to you and to have your own husband try to kill you I mean it happens so much and a lot of um these abusive situations are from within the house and your partner and so I think it's important to sh shed light on you know what is happening in closed doors that people may not know about um and again to give voices to the women that that need their voices to be heard um especially in like the gaslighting situations too you know and I also spoke uh spoke to Austin Nichols on my podcast you know it does happen to men as well like they also get gaset too think you know women were just we were the first to say no it only kind of happens to us but you know men as well go through this too right yeah no it was um it was interesting because I feel like we don't really have that many films about being gastl and like you don't maybe sometimes people wouldn't even recognize the signs of being gaslite and you're like oh wait I've been through that or I'm sure like so many people can relate to this did you and Morgan have conversations about her story and how it how you wanted to represent it it it was important to you know I asked I was like can I talk to morg I didn't know kind of what you know where you know if I could talk to to her or not and you know the director was like absolutely you know call her and I was nervous to talk to her just because you know I'm telling her story and I wanted to be um respectful of her story and tell her this her story you know how it happened I also know there's parts of making a movie too so um you know I just kind of let her talk and I wanted to hear about her experience and she was familiar with my domestic um abuse background and so where we got to in the end was we both were doing it because we wanted to shed light on this topic and what's going on and um you know she was she was gracious to share her story but we all know that it's a lot of women stories that we're telling and um yeah and just I I love Morgan you know I'm I'm she's a very strong woman I think a lot of women feel like they won't be um believed yeah so so um you know to to feel that kind of indication and and to know okay I you know I'm doing this to help other people even though I can't imagine being Morgan and watching her life play out like that on television uh so that takes a very strong woman to do was shooting this movie was it triggering for you because I think you said that your therapist was like maybe you shouldn't do this right she was so I walked in very concerned because I've thought I dealt with everything um and I was like I don't even know can I even bring back that emotion do I want to bring back that emotion um and she had said you're not doing this for yourself and I was like okay she's like you're doing this for everyone that needs to see this movie and that clicked inside of me like okay you're right like I'm going to tell the story and but it was hard I mean we had a moment on um on set where we had to cut because it was it got too I I had a complete panic attack because Austin was on top of me I couldn't breathe and that just triggered me but right back to my uh abuse situation were you able to kind of turn it off when you went home like or did it kind of stay with you for so I had I did have to call my therapist cuz there was a few times where I was like I I was triggered waking up having feeling my arms bruised again because you know Austin didn't mean to bruise me or hurt me but I'm like when we're in the scene I'm like go for it you know what I mean but waking up and it's like there was moments going wait why do I have bruise marks on my arms and it's like no no no no like this is that's the past this is you're playing this part and um but I did have to kind of remind myself what was where I was at in reality right and you and Austin are such good friends yeah he's an incredible friend was he the only person that you probably could trust being in this situation and felt maybe safe so I told Austin this I was like there's no one else I could have done this role with because even that moment having that panic attack on set and having to you know run essentially run outside um knowing he was there I was like okay he's a safe person for me and then you know I called Allan when I got back in the trailer and you know I was crying and so it was like to have my like core people there was everything sure how did Alan feel about you taking on I know he said that he's been protective of you when it comes very protective right but how did he feel about you taking cuz I know he's protective like in like when you're in romantic relationships with somebody else but how did he feel specifically about this one um I it was hard for him to see the bruises like you know he's like you know um I'm gon to beat up I know he's and's like I'm sorry dude he's like like I understand um but yeah I mean it was he he would he was you know how are you like you okay I'm like yeah yeah yeah like I'm I'm fine um but you know he was sweet he was caring which was nice and he was there the day that we kind of blocked the attack scene too and I think it was definitely hard for him but you know but he also knows the the role that we the roles we have to play I think you said that like for so long that you dealt with a lot of Shame after you were in your domestic violence relationship how do you feel about it now looking at it um it's sorry oh no I don't want no no no no I think it's just um and you shouldn't um there's so much strength in it um that the shame piece always makes me it's I feel this is going to sound weird but like I feel um sad for the girls trapped in that um I feel sad for the version of myself that I was that that I would accept someone to put their hands on me or um that's and I wouldn't say it's so much shame anymore I just feel sad like I I still like you know there'll be some women that reach out to me on DMS and I'm like you know he didn't mean to I'm like it doesn't matter if he meant to put his hands on you like he should never put his hands on you you know and it's like but I I can only say so much and it's like until you believe that you deserve better and that you don't deserve that um you know that's why you just have to that's why I love that lifetime is doing the stop violence against women is opening conversations is that you know to to give them voices to know wait no that's not all right um and so yeah I mean now I I that's why I want to continue to do things like this you know Morgan and I are talking how can we further this on is there a foundation we can open to help women so it's to to keep that conversation and to be able to shed light on what is wrong versus what's right yeah but think of how many people that you are helping even not even with this but even with your podcast just talking about it because so many people like you said probably feel that shame and don't want to be open and honest about it and now that they can relate to you and you're there space as well I think the hard part with like the gaslighting part of it is we're made to feel like it's our fault we're made to feel crazy and that it's and I think that's what I love about this movie is like it truly takes and walks you through like how just you literally think you're going crazy and I'm like right and those right and in those scenes where you know she thought that she hit him or she thought that she pushed him down the stairs and no because like it's messing with your mind and and so many people are going through those similar situations and it's really it's it's sad and hopefully you know this gives them a stepping stone to get help and I think you're doing a great job you and you had your beautiful daughter on set with you I know oh she was just like what a light I mean that was that was beautiful and it was a really um you know I did get a lot of people saying like why would you want your daughter to be in this type of movie and it's like I think it's an amazing teaching opportunity to say Hey you know this is what the scene's about and this is also what happens and it's not don't ever let someone touch you or talk to you this way and you know I just want her to understand that what is again what's right and what's wrong sure yeah and you you were able to like explain the context she old enough to understand in in a certain way a certain way yeah I kind of was like I don't I don't think I'm going to let her watch the entire movie in its entirety but I'm going to you know there's um there's a way I think to to talk to to your kids and say okay this is like no don't ever let a boy hit you or even like when Jas and them fight I'm like no Jas don't hit girls you know so it's like you know it's just trying to have those kind of aged appropriate conversations has she officially caught the acting bug or has a meeting with an agent yes I know she's she's and I'm like you know what I I want them to try everything and if this is her thing then I'll I'll give her the opportunities that she that she wants were you ever hesitant at all being like for sure for sure but I mean I made her audition for this yeah I'm like I cuz I'm like you know I just I think you should work and you should earn the roles and had a little poll you know what I mean like but I'm like you know I think she did great what you guys think you know she great all looking back at this film what scene are you most proud of the courtroom scene the yeah um I never got a chance to I I when I was in court with my abuser um I was only cross um examined I never got to say anything to him I just was able to look him in the eyes but I wanted that moment so long and so it took I mean 15 plus years to have that final I feel like closure through Morgan story because and that was a one take I told the director I'm like I I'll do it as many takes as you want but this is this is the first time I'm going to be able to have my closure with my abuser through this story and so that was I'm I'm really proud of that scene that's great so you now you feel like you finally have that I I even walked out that stand was like it was like this weight was lifted that I didn't even know had to be lifted that's so great it's like you had to do this movie I am very thankful for Morgan for letting me play her definitely yeah a lot of people are going to you know relate to it and react to it and I think you're doing a great job than you so much it's always so great talking to you thank you