(3.91) Bronco Mendenhall: "Relationships Trump Everything!"

[Music] hello and welcome to fil with his love you know it's football season you know and I realize that not everyone loves football but I happen to really enjoy the game especially college football I guess I've been watching BYU play for so many years that I finally become a some people might call a super fan I really enjoy it to show you how long I've been watching BYU football I can remember when the BYU Stadium was not as large as it is now there was a time when it had no Endzone seats and they sold tickets to families at that time who wanted to sit on the grass in the end zone and watch the home games how much did those tickets cost five bucks that's it we could attend the game with all five kids and watch Jim McMahon and Steve Young complete thousands of passes it seemed for five bucks the ticket prices have gone up just a little bit since then I now have to take out a second mortgage I'm just kidding so when I saw in the church news an interview with Bronco mendenhal his wife and Sher do I wanted to take a look if you're not into football Bronco was one once the head coach at BYU and then he went on to the University of Virginia where he was also the head coach if you're interested in the whole interview you can listen to it or read it there was one part of the interview that had a lot to do with what we emphasize on this podcast relationships so I will share some quotes from Bronco and comment on them in this first erpt Bronco describes the contact he has had with his players over the years and how those messages from his players either in person or a message to him an email or a text have taught him important lessons so these are the words of Bronco of the hundreds I haven't even kept track one message has mentioned a game or a score every other message has mentioned moment hey coach do you remember when non-game non-practice moments moments of relationships and so what I've taken away as I've contemplated the last year and a half and maybe this is what our listeners or viewers or anyone that's watching this relationships are lasting and they're worth investing in and the titles they feel good and it's great to pursue and necessary in some cases right to to stay employed to say they're lasting not from what I've seen the relationships Trump everything okay that last phrase really got me relationships Trump everything that could actually be the title of this podcast but there's the interest here's the interesting thing if relationships Trump everything why do we spend so little time thinking about them nurturing them and strengthening them this is a mystifying question really I want you to think about this because if I ask people if they thought relationships are important you know they would likely agree if I ask them if loving God and loving their neighbor are the two most important things in mortality they would say yes but if that's the case why do we avoid thinking about relationships and finding ways to strengthen them and make them better Bronco didn't say this but he could have if relationships Trump everything what is the one relationship that trumps all others our relationship with God and take a second and consider how seldom we think about strengthening our relationship with God it's not the first thing on our mind likely in the morning and not during the day while we're working and trying to accomplish all those super important tasks that we need to accomplish and Broncos right we need to win games if we're a coach or if we or we won't be employed we need to accomplish our tasks at work whatever they are or we won't be able to put food on the table and a roof over our heads okay so that's that's understandable but if that's all we do and I might say that those daily tasks capture nearly all of our mental energy at times but if making money or spending money or getting Awards or any kind of recognition for our talents and SK if that's all we do we miss out on mortality relationships need to take more of our mental energy and occupy more of our time relationships are not what we think about when we've thought about everything else in our lives relationships are the very heart of everything we came on here on Earth to achieve so here's how Bronco continued after making that statement about relationships Trump everything then he said and the Gratitude of someone that really committed to a relationship that really tries to help someone else that knows you're in it for them man that has been the overwhelming message that I've received and I wouldn't have guessed that would be the message I would have guessed the messages hey do you remember 1999 we played so and so and we beat them and remember that play none of that hey coach do you remember you know my dad was struggling and I came to your office or coach do you remember when you slipped on the ice and I saw you and you your clipboard went flying and we laughed Bronco's surprise at how players emphasized relationships is the Crux of what I want to say today we shouldn't be surprised we all know that relationships are it so why are we surprised and I would guess that we all relate to Broncos surprise even though we don't coach football players we probably would have expected them to say what Bronco expected hey do you remember 1999 when we played so and so and we beat them yeah that's what we probably all would have expected I think that's what's Mo what most of us would have expected just as Bronco expected but that's not what players emphasized they focused on relationship ships and maybe one reason for that not only that we it's not only that we need to learn how to give and receive love but maybe it's also because it is in and through relationships that we learn our most important lessons in life relationships not only Lift Us and nurture us they help us learn things that we never could have learned without them and perhaps the most important thing that relationships with family and friends teach us is how to draw closer to God the father of us all the embodiment of all love Bronco goes on to talk about how the moments we have with people the moments that deepen our love for each other are the real stuff of life I really like the way he says it you know they are moments they're remembering moments and I'm kind of thinking like in maybe our life will be like the ESPN plays of the day you know it won't be this giant thing there will be like moments and then we'll look at the moments who were they with and I crave the moments with is what the past year and a half moments with young people under the architecture of football to make a difference I really like that quote because it's true we have relationships you know we we spend a lot of time with each other but then there are these certain moments that are clarifying that are Milestone moments in the relationship and they're important to reflect on sometimes moments can be negative and cause all kinds of problems but when the moments are really positive and contributing to the relationship these are moments we need to reflect on and think back on because they are the things that strengthen our tie with each other other and with God and I think we all have such moments they're moments that we treasure with loved ones moments that have helped us experience love from others and love from the Lord then Bronco reflects on how if he had not resigned his coaching position in Virginia and taken a break from his work he would not have learned the importance of such moments the importance of forging lasting relationships so this is is this last quotee and I wouldn't have known that as clearly if we just kind of let it keep rolling here here he's saying if we just stayed at Virginia and so lots of contributing factors determined my decision to leave Virginia the takeaway though has been how important caring for other people is and I wouldn't have guessed that would have been the main takeaway but that's what it's been so looking over this long career not just at Virginia but at BYU in New Mexico and other places where he coached Bronco is really saying I just wouldn't have guessed the most important thing I ever would have learned is that relationships Trump everything relationships are the important stuff of life he doesn't talk about how he learned to be a better coach of the defense or a better coach of the offense or a better coach of quarterbacks Etc he talks about how he learned the importance of relationships in our lives and so we come right back to those two Commandments that kind of Drive everything in mortality loving God and loving others I love how Elder kristopherson said at an April conference we can also choose the higher Holier way not just to love others as ourselves but to love others as God loves us so this is the goal this is really what we want to be about what we want to be thinking about and trying to improve in our lives because the more we do the closer we grow to each other and the closer we grow to God I pray myself that this can be my lot in life and for all of you and we look forward to seeing you next time I will see redeeming love the song that makes me [Music] oh