CHILDHOOD STAR COOKS & USES METH FINALLY GETS CLEAN | Jeremy Jackson

what up guys this is Jeremy Jackson and uh we all struggle everybody falls some people Splat and some people bounce and I I'm calling on you right now to be a bounce don't let yourself Splat pick yourself back up and I want you to use the power of positive thinking welcome to peggie's recovery Corner this is a recovery podcast recovery from what recovery from drug addiction from alcoholism from mental health and recovery from anything I'd like to get guests on here that are recovering from relationships even maybe in the future but we are recovery podcast uh please before we even start can you please subscribe can you like the channel and share it with lots of people because we're here to inspire and help you show that recovery is possible uh today I have a very very very special guest a good old friend of mine his name is Jeremy Jackson welcome to the corner good to see you man thanks for having me on here good to see you too you've been on this uh on this podcast a long time ago when it was really like uh kind of uber Co in my office it was kind of ghetto but like we've we've kind of dialed it in now so it's so good to have you here looks super cool man and I've been seeing you on other people's podcast and I'm like wait that's my friend I I know him yeah we started that's right we started and uh boy do we have a story we started this Gangsta [ __ ] that's the [ __ ] thanks I get that's right that's right hell yeah good old Westside Connection okay so um Jeremy let's hear a little bit about your upbringing where were you born born in Orange County uh born and raised here born in Anaheim actually uh lived in the city of Orange for a little bit but I knew moved to Newport Beach when I was about six years old okay and Newport life was how you have a sister too yeah I got a little sister Newport life was um it was kind of like fancy you know so kind of coming from the slums of Anna crime with a bunch of tweakers in the Alleyways and mechanics wrenching on cars all night and me and my little single mom on housing you know cockroaches coming up from the the drains and and social workers coming over to make sure you're still broke and you know people arguing and getting women getting beat you know that was a kind of a crusty little apartment conf over Anaheim yeah so moving then to Newport Beach a brand new apartment complex like tucked in back by the girls and boys club like on 16th and it was all fancy and we could walk to the beach like w this is cool beautiful com up in the world yeah good old TP and then if you say your single single mom was mom and dad never married so my dad uh I never met um my mom kind of tried to tuck me away and hide me from him he was a a gang member a heroin addict in and out of prison so she didn't want me to that way yeah okay and then uh growing up in Newport what high school did you go to well I went to Newport Heights Elementary School okay but uh I got too busy working in the entertainment industry by the third grade to stay in school and how' they find you was your mom uh trying to get you to get an agent or anything like that or what happened you know um from a very early age all I wanted to do was uh gain approval get Applause and be liked so I learned how to dance sing I taught myself how to do costumes and uh you know uh speaking uh freaking accents and stuff like that yeah so she just knew I was a ham I would like B her to take me to karaoke bars I'd be like four years old singing karaoke you were an actor of the making I was I was so one day she was actually at Orange Coast College and just saw a little bulletin board up with like a number of agent call an agent and she called an agent we went out to LA and I met this agent who turned out to be the agent for like the Olsen twins and Screech from Save By the Bell and a bunch of other big she was like the the big time child agent and they picked me up and you were how old right then I was five five years old that young mhm and so what happened were you doing commercials or anything before you actually got the the TV gig yeah I got my first commercial when I was six uh my first commercial ever was a Mattel commercial and it was like color Racers it was the cars that change color when you dipped them in water oh those were dope they were dope yeah and I already was like a Hot Wheels fanatic for sure I had my favorite one it was the little Camaro that was I think it was actually it was a Corvette it was a Corvette that was Chrome right that was my favorite one yeah yeah yeah so to get a Mattel commercial was a big deal for me and I knew it was a big deal and I knew I wanted to be in with Mattel I think that would have been a big deal for any kid in the world right I did a good enough job to get seven more commercials out of that when you were doing these commercial commercials were you was there other people trying out for the commercials oh yeah hundreds oh really is that even for commercials yeah drive up to LA and you go into a building and there's you walk in and there's you know whoever's casting 30 moms with with their kids and they're all you know rehearsing and you go into a room and it's a bunch of adults and you stand on a mark and you say the line you know it's crazy like they even want to like make sure they pick the right person for the commercial but that would make sense dude so critical right right you know okay so you did some commercials and then what um well that kind of exploded and then I did a bunch more and then I started having a lot of trouble at school because you know I'm coming back after summer vacation and I'm the kid that was like on the Frosted Mini Wheats commercial and the Mattel and you know how that is it's so was mom taking you from Orange County to LA all the time Orange County to LA in her Volkswagen bug that would catch on fire pretty much every time I had a Volkswagen Bug those old school ones did it catch on fire I mean I I actually crashed it but but yeah I know those those engines always overheat you don't see a lot of those on the road anymore probably for a good reason they're expensive now yeah yeah yeah now they're like they're hot commodity totally so uh so people were what were they doing like kids in school were telling you like you're the guy from the commercials well they just see me on summer vacation you know every 10 minutes on the commercial so I don't know if it's like felt felt like they developed some kind of look at the cats on hatred yeah Hey Jealousy yeah because now all the girls are talking about me and the guys are jealous so I'm getting in schoolyard scraps you know it was gnarly oo it was like that yeah how old were you was Baywatch the very first show that ever that you were ever on so I did a couple of other TV shows um like as a as a just a person like an actual like a bunch of yeah actual roles and I was I was Landing them left and right dude I was knocking them out they I developed sort of a hatred for me me and my mom they were like oh here comes that kid he'll probably get it right you know so people started hating on us were you were you educated did you do well in school during those times you're a smart guy I'm dyslexic I'm ADHD you know I can't write I write backwards uh yeah dude it's gnarly I mean now I can but when I was a kid I was gifted learning disabled that's what they called it so I qualified for gate and I qualified for special day they didn't know whether to put me on the you know on the field in the right in the trailer all day and I didal Ed or to put me in the accelerated progam so I was really smart but I was also held back in a lot of different stuff so you know it didn't interest me I was super hyper always getting in trouble hated school but um but it seemed like you knew how to land I had a knack I had a knack for um like performance you know and I knew what to do to get the job done make eye contact nice handshake pronunciate right hit my mark say it with who taught your mom your AG my mom did help me a lot my mom did help me a lot but from a very early age I studied Elvis Presley I studied Michael Jackson right I believe it or not I studied night rider dude it was like Michael dof like Airwolf and and David Hasselhoff I was like I need to act like that I need to do that it's interesting because like if you ever watch childhood actors that that really got famous at a very young age when they talk off camera like if they're being interviewed you're like this kid talks like he's like an like a [ __ ] adult yeah like like an advanced adult right an educated adult so I studied adults emulated them you know and Michael Jackson I mean come on now he was just good one of a kind yeah cool so then uh then you landed this role on Baywatch yep how old were you 10 years old 10 years old actually nine we didn't start filming till I was 10 so five six seven eight you know three and a half four years of doing 60 commercials a bunch of TV shows a movie uh and stuff like that so I I was already kind of Polished by the time I got Baywatch I was always like what was the movie uh I did a movie called shout was a universal uh production with Jamie Walters who was from that remember that How Do You Talk to an angel how do you hold the clothes that song he was I think he was on 90210 as like the bad boy right but then he did this movie um with John travolto and myself and then I did The Wonder Years I played Fred Savage in like a in a flashback oh wow so I was already on a lot of big sets I did a show with Ed Asner and what was that called I don't know Wonder Years was a great show Wonder Years was a good show they brought have you seen the the Remake I've seen that it's out I haven't watched it yeah me neither yeah so so when you okay when they told you that you're going to be on Baywatch did did you think this is [ __ ] major I mean You' already been doing a lot of stuff but like this is Major I mean with David hassle have that that you studied yeah yeah believe it or not yeah um I had already developed this uh awareness that don't get your hopes up too high you just in because Hollywood just has a way about it yeah cuz I had gone for like shows or or movies that was like free willly you know like it was it was me and the other kid and I was like dude I know this movie is going to go huge I know this would change my life and you get really really excited and then you don't get it and it's like you feel like you lost millions of dollars right cuz you were going to get it if you got the show or the movie or or whatever so when Baywatch hit yeah I was excited because David Hoff was my freaking Idol right I had no Dad my mom is the same age as him my mom's pretty hot what if they get married oh my gosh you know so the wheels start to turn and you you got to be careful because you'll K like kill yourself with depression if if you get your hopes up for sure so I was already jaded a little bit I guess you could say what was your stance on drugs and alcohol during that time you hadn't tried anything yet had you no so my my stance on drugs and alcohol was you know my mom had really beat into my head um don't ever do drugs and uh you're so sensitive because I was super hyper and sugar would give me panic attacks yeah and I was I was stealing and hiding sugar and like believe me my girlfriend's kid's nine right now going on 10 yeah he gets the sugar and he turns into P when he was on meth yeah exactly bouncing off the walls like Daffy Duck so my mom would be like see cuz cuz I'd crashed too yeah she's like see what sugar does to you if you do drugs it'll kill you right because drugs are stronger than this and I'd be like in the come down yeah so she was always trying to like um you know tell me about this stuff they wanted to put me on Aderall and riddling because I was a hyper to to kind of calm me down that's what they do for kids yeah and what she actually took me off sugar completely like a no sugar diet yeah she used we'd buy ketchup with no sugar and this is a long time ago it was hard to find stuff like that and that actually like pretty much cured it it it was a huge calm you down yeah did you not go on riddling then I didn't good yeah not that that changed anything I yeah the Story of My Life try as hard as you may everybody I'm gonna [ __ ] this up when you were on Baywatch were you still living in Orange County they put you up over the places up in La where the actor still Liv in Orange County man we stayed true to the game loyal to the soil cuz a lot of actors stay in those apartments the oak something the oak wood oak wood that's where they used to house all my friends that were like on scene or on on production so how long did that show go chy bips you know him remember the kid with the with the thick goggles from like was it Sandlot or or yes yeah he was a friend of mine Thomas Ian Nicholas was a friend of mine and they all lived at Oak Wood and I'd kick it with those guys yeah and there was a lot of activities going on at the Oak Woods I know kind of wish we were up there I think that's why my mom stayed in orang she no I'll just drive you up yeah yeah yeah she knew she was saving me from some weirdo stuff probably some some of those you know Illuminati child molester [ __ ] photographers and [ __ ] you know what I mean like that [ __ ] that's coming up these days dude there was a guy who we went to this pool party for actors and I was like kicking it with C Moon fry and she like Punky Brewster had her big old boobies all over me and stuff that was pretty cool when she grew up she got she kind of developed big old boobies yeah um she did and uh gosh who was there a bunch of like Clarissa Explains It All girl was there and all the moms the stage moms were like hey so and so wants to take a picture uh do a photo shoot with your son and there's a picture on the internet you can find it I'm uh I'm holding a big inflatable uh beach ball over my head and I have red swim trunks on and I'm in a pool and he took one picture of me and then he wanted to do a private little photo shoot and moms were like hey this is the guy like if he shoots with this guy he's going to get a lot of big roles and my mom got a little weird feeling about it and she like didn't do it most because everybody was being so pushy about it like you have to if you have to you have to so anyway her intuition told her something 20 years later dude that guy got busted for child porn dude big time he had a whole little pedophile deal going on what is wrong with people I don't know I don't know the more I hear about so many things that are coming up for for people that we really like admired at one time you just wonder like why funny enough that's like one of the most common questions I get mostly from from you know out there people people but that they want to know like hey were you ever involved in any of that Spirit juice you know blood drinking adrenochrome ADR did they make the offer did they offer you to sell your soul did you know and I guess since we lived in Orange County you know we just kind of drove up to film and then drove home not that far and probably less traffic during that time no no traffic at 4 in the morning oh yeah yeah but had I been in the baywoods or the the Oakwood oakwoods who knows that's why I lived in Baywood know Baywood oh Baywood is in Newport Newport CDM yeah instead of oakwoods I was in Baywood you were in your own little Baywood so uh how many years was the show I mean I I did my last um filming with Baywatch when I was 21 it was the Baywatch Hawaiian wedding it was like a two-hour TV movie so 11 years 11 fraking years dude did you start using drugs during that time I did how old were you when you did that well I started um I would say I was snor and Coke you know oh my probably every day from 16 to 18 uh I started I don't know ecstasy maybe smoking a lot of weed and drinking probably 12 13 14 15 did your mom know kind of not really was she trying to regulate you so hard dude she hired people to come find me I had one of those next tail phones she was chirp chirping me all the time was were these people that you were using with in Orange County or LA or scene or where mostly at when I was 12 13 14 it was mostly like teenagers high schoolers you know um always older people I didn't get in with the rough crowd until like after 16 like Cowboy Boogie yeah yeah yeah that's where it really started to crack off yeah Cowboy Boogie because I'd leave with you know what who was like Sergio and I don't I forget like their names but it was like the coka guys you know the long hair greasy cocaine guys like they were from freaking Mexico and had the bomb flake like that got gnarly I remember I remember the cowboy boie I forgot about it till you mentioned it the do House Dollhouse God bringing lots of memories of metropolis Metropolis I was I was already bad bad by Metropolis Club rubber yeah I was telling these guys about Club rubber man oh it was a production had to been there though it was yeah you can't even explain it unless you've been there and seeing it and the way the types of things we were doing the drugs remember Jade Ashley the go- go girl yeah Ashley Jade or something real tall like dark SK yeah she still looks amazing you got to look her up on Instagram she's looks like a she's like a super model now Jade Ashley all now yes what the f she's got to be like 40 something and she looks amazing wow I do remember the name right yeah I remember and she was just a go- go girl you know right um so I guess then when I met you you were probably 17 or oh you're probably 18 I think you're 18 yeah cuz we were hanging out like I think I was always 10 years older than I'm 52 yeah how old are you 43 43 okay yeah I knew that I was like a decade older than you that's a big deal back then 10 years is a big deal well the people that we we ran in similar circles the chachis and and all those types you were just a few chapters ahead we were few chapters ahead and uh because we already TW had totally we weren't even really that deep into the tweak yet yeah we were still partying it was about doing lots of ecstasy and things like that there's still some G and some ecstasy inv um and that was like during that time being in Southern California between LA and Orange County like it was really a happening time double stack Mitsubishi all that stuff right we didn't have the doves remember all star all that Ferraris were pretty good Ferraris all that the what was the thing I posted the other day Dolphins the dolphins that that's how old I am but remember Chase I think he was a Tim Curry's roommate I remember Tim Curry Tim Curry and he had that little short roommate that was kind of both I think I do vaguely he was a good plug yeah we kicked it with broi and toy and all them yeah Ro's killing it now oh he's he's Sober Sober a long ass time been sober he had to get sober or he would have died died right um like I saw so during that time like we were really about you know having fun yeah uh we just like to go still in limos having a good time there was a time and I know your friends will probably get a kick out of this we somehow ended up in the Hollywood Hills at some party and I got the Ecstasy I got the GHP flowing and I'm over here joking with Jeremy and in comes [ __ ] Hugh Hefner with a bunch of Playmates yeah and they needed some supplies that was yeah I felt so accomplished I was like a [ __ ] redhead pink K Kingpin let's bring it on like Hugh needs Viagra you got to find remember that give H give these girls the G we got them all G je up and sauce all that stuff got him he was doing he was doing this he was dryp well in his 70s during that time dry hump in the air dude not kidding like a dog with a red rocket we had some times that was Randy Basil's party right oh it was Randy Basil's he did those Mansion parties was Randy Basel living up there during that time no but he was just doing those parties yeah yeah he was active yeah he was an active guy that night I was smoking Coke in a in a in a cigarette with just three or four people left at the party at like 9:00 amm and I remember the maids were coming I was like [ __ ] like the party was over the maids came to clean it and I like dude I'm just getting started bro come on it's over and you know like when we made that one video when I just saw you a couple years ago at at uh the rock to recovery thing I didn't want it to appear like we were sensationalizing those times but dude like we we had some times and and here's the thing it even it it was really extravagant and looked really magnificent which it felt at the time yeah but I don't know that we really knew that we have a drug problem definitely not or in the making and I don't know man the times have changed the drugs have changed sure there was nobody on fentanyl back then over those things seconds dying anybody nowadays like has a good time you know talk about what it was like what happened and what it's like now and what it was like is like it was really fun it and it felt like a total New Era new open wide open Infinite possibility world of friends and because because nightclubs kind of fizzled out and it wasn't just about going and drinking with your friends or having bottle service and doing yay yeah it was about going to the Rave or anything like any kind of club that that was acting like a rave playing that type of music and doing those types of designer drugs the Ecstasy any anything the love drugs and then a week later you know being like wow I should probably go to sleep exactly why am I so depressed on Tuesdays I think I want to die I think I want to kill myself like the easy definitely depleted the serotonin and made you just want to [ __ ] the suicidal ideation was flowing but down the line though Thursday for me was the Friday Junior and by the time you know yeah I got to do a little bit of drugs on Thursday because we're about to go into the weekend it just became an on I don't think all throughout the 90s all throughout my 20s in the 90s did I ever take a break no never I mean accidentally sometimes sometimes well you have to actually catch a few yeah or exactly accidentally now there was uh a period and be really bummed about what you missed right you don't want to miss anything I don't want to miss anything why why should I I'll sleep when I die I remember that do you guys remember that tormenting feel of of like oh my God I can't miss it right I can't it's going to be so great and then wake up we started getting into some other heavier stuff though down the line yeah we uh we started I remember we were hanging out in or orange at a house and it was like a some would call it these days a trap house but really it didn't feel like a trap house because when you have a stripper pole in the middle of somebody's living room or even in their bedroom and you got tons of different types of characters coming and going yeah I mean some might call it a trap house but really like we were just we're we're here to party plenty of spray paint and markers to paint your shoes when boardly it was the Afterparty after the after party cleaning supplies if you just get a wild hair up your butt and you want to clean someone's bathroom right you know nowadays you walk in a trap house they don't have any cleaning supplies they got no spray paint they got no paint markers it lives up to its name it's like all trapped out just dirty to there there was tools in the garage color Books Galore yeah yeah gel pens lots of superglue plenty of super glue for whatever reason yeah I mean you got to make the lighter work forever you know so you take it apart super glue it put it back together so here we we were we already loved each other we were homies we were friends we'd have D'Angelo barsati with the Jamie lenberg or the Daryl came on my podcast not that long ago Big Bounce coming through but then some dangerous people started coming through some gangs if you will and they were after one thing they told me specifically we want the celebrity kids meth cuz you were cooking meth is it okay to say that now is the FBI watching it's okay see the camera in the corner say hi yeah yeah uh so during that time you got into cooking some dope and I I've often told you this I think that we were breaking bad before it was even the thought for a TV show very true right and not only were you cooking that mess the fire I'm not bragging like I'm not trying to brag I don't condone methus I think it definitely will [ __ ] up a person's life but this [ __ ] was beyond potent I mean it really was jet fuel and it was it it was euphoric it it took you in different directions and it also for some weird reason and maybe not that weird uh Drew attention from the agents the real agents I'm talking like the the the methamphetamine task force that was after guys like you guys like me because we were Distributing it you were cooking it I remember leaving that house once and having a lot of I mean I'm going up down the street with a gallon of GHB in the trunk and all of a sudden I look in my rear view and they come from different directions and they're behind me and they were all unmarked cars and some Mark cars and they're following me and I'm like oh this isn't going to turn out good but the weirdest thing was and this is like a few days I think a few days later you got arrested at the house but the weirdest thing is they they got behind me and then they drove away and I was like oh my God I just dodged you K Cannonball but then all of a sudden Jeremy gets busted we were hot so what happened was that was Johnny Garcia right yeah um so I was okay so I'm out living in LA and I have this girlfriend who's gorgeous and baller Arena and um you know she introduced me to meth you know and I had been just snorting coke and and I ran out of coke I was in San Diego actually at the uh hip-hop conference remember those like those were dope they were dope yeah but we were at the Double Tree you know and uh I ran out of coke and then it was like 3: in the morning and like nobody had Coke I was like you know come on dude nobody can call anybody for some y I'm in San Diego I might as well be in Japan I feel so far away from home I have no car and so this girl is like do some of this candy do some candy do some candy what is candy you know she like you know like asking people hey what's candy and uh they go you know like like meth I'm like you like like speed and they're like yeah oh I'm never that's disgusting bro that is like a poor man's drug right I'm that's what we used to think about meth we did it was the poor man's cocaine yeah was if you lived in a trailer and you had no teeth you didn't right right and other than that you know you drink freaking r Martin and you sniff Coke right so anyway and then you smoke some when no one's around right right right right right and so I did it and it was gnarly she had a candy necklace on and I was wearing a candy neckace you smoked it or you snorted it well uh I said um okay I couldn't find any Coke I was starting to come down I said there's no way I'm sniffing it but I will smoke it can't you smoke it and like I broke like nine light bulbs in the in the uh hotel room trying to figure this out on my own right and anyway I did it and uh she had a candy necklace on I had a candy necklace on we ended up under the covers on the rollway on the fold out on the the couch that goes out into a bed yeah under the sheets drenched in sweat super high having like the best sex of my life and like this candy necklace was Dripping that drug driven sex yeah so it was you know sugar laced candy necklace melting drug driven sex and I was hooked from that moment I was like dude this is this is never not going to do this yeah yeah yeah wait a minute here during that time you still going to the show and acting too yes because the show was filming in um season in the summertime okay so in the off time if I wasn't yed out cuz I started going to rehab when I was like 14 cuz I get so yed out and and beat up drunk whatever that I'd go to rehab clean up for a month and Adolescent rehab yeah and then go to go film in the summer you know go get a haircut and some facials and spray tan and I'm ready to work were the tabloids reporting that you were in have no I I don't know maybe because I was in Orange County I stayed away from all that they didn't catch up to you yeah so I did that for a few years but then when I found the the method was it was pretty bad but I would do the same thing I'd clean up go work and then party it away all winter yeah um so because this girl was so hot the the upper echelon of the the LA guys yes liked her she knew the big dealers and the big suppliers so before you know what I'm hanging out with the Taiwanese the son of the Taiwanese Mafia who lives here who's crystallizing meth for the Hell's Angels Hell's Angels are cooking it then they're giving him like pounds of crank and he's the guy that take from Crank to Glass biker dope biker dope peanut butter leave a bunch of crap in the pipe and he could clean it and make it Crystal yeah you know by washing it yeah and not just wash it but there was an inversion process and a microwave that separated the chemical structure and a way to actually gain another reaction and you're sitting you've learned all this from learned it all from him dude start to finish how to how to cook it from one of the Hell's Angel guys uh his name was Frank his partner was a guy named Gary Gary was a Hell's Angel who was in the DEA they both got popped it was a huge thing I was in the courtroom dude tweaked out at 17 watching these guys get busted they were the guys who were taking it to Hawaii for like $9,000 an ounce or whatever remember when it was like I was actually part of that like I I think Tommy was in that a little bit I started moving it to Hawaii myself and was it uh this is before when you could actually take stuff down your pants and you didn't have to go through the thing we part of that too maybe I was I was part of it and the reason that I stopped being part of it was because everyone was getting busted one guy got busted one night before and I was supposed to go the next morning and I see honolu airport bust and I knew the dude because I'd seen him like be in the same circles and I thought oh I'm not going to Hawaii tomorrow no no no no no no no no we're going to sell the stuff and it wasn't even it was ice it was Ice yeah that stuff was ice so ice is based with El fedrin so you can make meth with uh edrin yeah Puda fedrin and El fedrin and the edrin was the one that looked like a snake skin when you melted it remember the honeycomb shape yes and it was like the most potent form of yes amphetamine yeah well actually there's something called shabo yeah I remember Shabu which is made with um shabir like the shaboo yeah it's hard to find shabir yeah is he alive I don't know we the g king shabir we kind of fell out uh together but the there's the the top top of the line is uh shaboo which is made with um aetam raw amphetamine powder it's just amphetamine powder so you got amphetamine powder then you got edrin then you got edrin you got yeah so I'm hanging out with these Hell's Angels and they're showing me how to cook the stuff because the Dude um Frank who's in the Hell's Angels is dying and it's you you have to have an apprentice and you got to teach some but before you die you teach back then cooking dope was like a sacred thing like a lung cancer uh was pretty garly he was he older yeah he stank like death he could barely move he was all you know a IV user right anyway so did you become The Apprentice I became The Apprentice that house got busted for manufacturing I got arrested for manufacturing house the house we were at was a house in in Van eyes oh another house okay so that house got busted I got busted with them but the the Taiwanese crystallizer and the the other guys were like they had been wanted because a bunch of people were going and getting arrested a bunch of people were going to Looney bins a bunch of people were 5150 a bunch of people were screaming naked in the street a bunch of girls had been taken advantage of 16y old girls so they got they watched these people for a long time they're like okay you're you know you're doing you're getting daughters high that and taking advantage of selling you're putting people in they cracking down so they crack down on these dudes I was the youngb guy so and then they just kicked me out like on my own recognizance and I was like well I can't I got nowhere to live in LA so I'm going to go down to Orange County and I went down to Orange County with all this knowledge and know of how to [ __ ] cook yes and then that's when we started getting into it and um wow this is [ __ ] fascinating I mean if you haven't written a book yet you should one day man I'm waiting for the offer I'm telling you w for the offer and then and and then I was down there with you guys and it was Kim Kim took care of me I had lost my remember Kim naap I remember kimn I had lost my La you know Homestead yeah so Kim was a you know call girl you called and she would just go with her bag of dildos and her five wigs and she would go do these Hotel parties right once a week I mean you know it wasn't she wasn't even popping like that but and then she would take care of me I remember Kim and I just got to stay high and be there with my purple hair and my scabby face yeah picking it the face constant yeah yeah and then somehow then Kim introduced me to Randy Cole I Remember Randy Cole and and then from Randy Cole's I met you know started going over to Johnny's house which which was Kim's old house right Kim had that house had all the The Vines and everything outside it was kind of hidden but it wasn't hidden right yeah by the Circuit City yeah and then that's when it that's when it started getting weird and what happened was Johnny comes to me and he's like hey dude I got a few pounds of crank right right raw ra we need to cook this stuff up and he takes me over to this lady's house to do it I said I need to save place you know I'll get all the stuff you bring the stuff I'll bring all the chems and the glassware and I'll crystallize this and I'll give you the ice the you know and I had the turbo inversion process which is where you separate it put it back together separate it put it back together separate it put it back together and it comes back way stronger so you can take kind of [ __ ] teas dope and make it be really potent yeah and um while I'm there helicopters was it at that house yeah I'm in this apartment with this lady who's who's still alive I saw her at a detox recently really yeah oh my God she was very very big really really large anyway um amazing bow job but um I was stuck there for a couple days you guys doesn't changed the bed Jaba Jaba the Hut dude I'm not kidding huge um anyway while I'm at the house and the stuff is drying yeah helicopters Vans just looping same same car like I'm in the and I'm in this little pad I'm like oh my gosh what's going on this is total setup they're [ __ ] us yeah you know and what happened was uh I I don't know that was around the same time when they were following you yes and they pulled him he forgot where the apartment was he was driving around like a dummy and he tried to set me up he tried to tell him where I was but he forgot the exact location where where exactly it was he didn't know he didn't know exactly where it was just knew that it was right around there he was probably two two weeks out to remember right so I like narrowly escaped like a big red-handed meth manufacturing deal and it turns out the guy that they pulled him over with had a bunch of child porn in the trunk too oh my God so they got busted the guy that was driving the car and Johnny yeah oh my God mhm [ __ ] so so did you not get arrested I didn't get arrested they did and the whole house canall there dodged a big one okay so I got a job from job of the Hut one of the best to this day I'm not gonna lie some sometimes looks going to be deceiving so now I think if I'm not mistaken probably within a year or two after that you got sober I saw her at the detox a couple months ago I thought about asking for another one that's how good it was did she lose weight no worse you uh you got sober after that and I saw you somewhere and you told me you were sober I saw you at a club it was at a club yeah it was that what was that place called where where rubber was yeah yeah yeah yeah the what is that called I forget what was the club though it was a different Club yeah I remember seeing you and you're like I'm sober now P I'm like I don't know what that means I don't know that word I'd like to not to learn what that means I told him I go you need a you need a sponsor dude I'm like sponsor I don't skate what are you talking about surf what do you mean sponsor no thanks yeah so what had happened was uh why the hell did you get sober well Orange County blew up that spot blew up right and so then I ended up out your Belinda Michelle Torres no I remember Michelle you remember Michelle right it was Placentia yeah so she started taken care of me that was fun you always had someone taken care of what else am I going to do I can't take care of myself right right I'm a nightmare right but I got the secret to cooking really good dop that's right that's what need me that's what you were like I knew I only needed Wanted Wanted by us by all of us all of us Tweakers and uh and then you remember I got that setup when those guys kick the door down and those uh TRG the Asian gang the guns in my mouthed that was Johnny again you know cuz he pinched them and and they wanted they thought it was me because he didn't want to cop to pinch in them so they almost killed me it was crazy anyway got a hell of a memory though I'll tell you this right now I remember TRG so they were pretty gnarly yeah very gnarly the cops took me out to the to the cops noticed four cars in a in Alleyway and Johnny and Randy standing out there and we're like this looks weird let's go up there and then as guys are running in and out of the apartment with merchandise cops came it was Bridget's apartment oh wow and CYO and Bridget had just left right and I took five volumes to go to sleep and in a five volume stuper after I've been up for a week I wake up to a gun in my mouth and they're like Diddy M Bing down Diddy M Bing down I'm like what are you saying I had no clue they said give me the we want it where's it at where's it at where's it at yeah and I was like where's what at I had an ounce of the gnarliest firest meth in my in the world in my I had no idea that they just wanted meth I would have smoked them all out where's it at I you don't even want money you just want to get loaded here I was like do I have government documents have I have I come across some kind of incriminating evidence or some treasure that I don't know do I have a USB port that is naming all of your people I have no idea what you're talking about you're so serious it can't just be dope that you want that's too simple you know my mind went to all these other places so I kept denying that I had anything but I had it and I didn't know what they wanted right and the cop saw them and they anyway they arrested everybody and when I went out there the cop goes pulls the pops the trunk and he goes he goes you see this he goes you have no idea how lucky you are to be alive no idea this bullet had your name on it these guys killed people for Less all day long there's no reason why you should still be alive we've been looking for these guys specifically for a year they not only killed a police officer in the orange Hills but they drug him under their car for Miles his body under their car for Miles these are cop killers these are the gnarliest guys in in the game right and and the fact that you're alive we're all shocked like just looking all the cops were like it's a miracle this dude's not dead yeah they scared you they they shoot first and and then rob you nor but they didn't I don't know they wanted the really really fire up yeah well probably needed you for many reasons let's keep him alive G set me up put me in a lab that's all I need I would have been I would have gone willingly right that's all I wanted was a squad and a team you know so that was really gnarly but when I went out to Michelle and that's that's when I got busted for manufacturing I sold to somebody who got AR who got pulled over and then that guy said yeah dude I've been this guy somebody gave me the stuff and uh coincidentally I do talk to Michelle sometimes still and actually her a relative of hers wasn't doing well long enough long ago like not that long ago probably got year and a half or two years ago and so we were going to try to bring that person into my sober living but he kind of ducked and dodged it didn't work out but but I still talk to her sometimes so she was a sweetheart man yeah I know exactly who you mean she's she was cool she was a sweetheart and we were all doing the best we could back there totally all out of our minds hurting people hurting people blind lost confused uh scared out of our minds but anyway so with the with these cops like basically they busted me at her house yeah at her house they followed me Newport Beach police followed me did a controlled Buy on me that guy who had gotten arrested called me hey I want some more of that stuff I said yeah sure no problem he came over with a big Burly friend I didn't think twice about it and sold him some dope right in front of a cop and they just kept watching me and uh did the tabloids get you then I think they did get me that time that time they did get me and uh it's a great story 35 years in prison that's what you were looking at yeah manufactur me or get sober well no it was $100,000 um you remember Barnett it sounds for is it uh John Barnett oh John okay John Barnett okay John Barnett fired me because I wasn't I wasn't staying clean um and he said look I got this other guy salula was his name he goes I got another guy he specializes in meth cases he'll take you and that guy he was like looked at me and my mom he's like it's $100,000 I'll get it dropped from possession with uh from manufacturing to possession with intent to sell 100 Grand straight up and it'll never come off his record he'll have a felony for life of possession with intent to sell methamphetamine and we're like I'll take it so I did like three months in a pay to stay County Jail the Huntington Beach like work Furlow little like trustee program yeah and I did six months in rehab and it was total grace of God I ended up going to to like a a rehab well first it was called wits end it was in Dana Point and it was like a mostly hard timers mostly guys that had done 10 years or more in prison Dana and were released to yeah let called it wits in that's a good witsen that's a cool name so it was like me and a bunch of hard on the yard dudes and I was like 20 and they like kind of broke me off like in a really dope way and uh what do you mean how like made me get out of my bed when I didn't want to made me do push-ups with them told me to get with the program check it out you know check so they were serious about their recovery they were serious about their recovery I don't know if any of them stayed sober I I I definitely didn't but it was well I thought you did stay sober well yeah I did for 14 years you know after that yeah yeah because when I got finally decided to come get sober you already had a few years right right but stay like since that day I didn't stay sober complet you didn't stay I had a couple relapses later oh but it was a great start to my recovery it set me up for a long-term success um and that's that's when I saw you it was after that charge when you saw me at the club uhhuh which I wasn't ready to get sober yet but but I knew that you were a sober guy my friend that used to do drugs is now a sober guy and I didn't really know what that I had to go get myself into a world of problems too yeah as a matter of fact rated by the Orange County methamphetamine task force and all that stuff and that didn't get me sober another five years Steve berett is that yeah remember that guy yeah I went to uh my first experience in sober living was in Costa Mesa at a guy named Dave Regal's house I don't know if you remember who think so but anyway that's not when I stayed sober it was when I turned 35 almost 36 that I got Sober Sober and I remember seeing you at in Newport yeah at the Newport Club Frankie was there and you you had a few years and she had a few years and and um I really felt like you were about it about it like you were you really were but then but then suddenly one day I see you on Celebrity Rehab I think you had 10 years maybe at the time yes I did what happened there so Celebrity Rehab they kept calling me uh Hey 100 Grand uh you know my manager was like just drink a beer dude you know it's 100 Grand I like you don't understand bro my my recovery is like really freaking important to me I can't guarantee I can drink one beer you know um so I turned it down twice two years in a row I turned it down but why would they be calling you if you're in recovery because they knew I was in recovery shaky no just in recovery so almost nobody that's in recovery stay sober right so there's a lot of celebrities that stay sober for a long time yeah but you know the the there there is but yeah the you know the R A lot of them end up going back out because they're just exposed and so the calls were probably just like has he relapsed yet does he need help or is he still doing good I'm like no I'm still doing good anyway uh on the third time they called me I was like well check it out dude I'm like the type of [ __ ] that I shoot up you know from B vitamins to all these crazy supplements I take and on this regime where I'm injecting human growth hormone and Insulin like growth factor and procaine solution and blah blah blah blah I'm like these words and this this routine of injections would scare the [ __ ] out of anybody I look like a drug addict okay so come over to my house and film me he's like I don't think they're going to go for it I'm like just send them to my house let me let me show them my setup you know my thousands of needles my freaking alcohol swabs my hundreds you were ready to show all this stuff on television it was 100 Grand I mean I understand look like a maniac for 100 grand needed the money so I yeah I went in for I went in for uh addicted to steroids and I just played it up okay when you told me that because I asked you I go bro I just saw you on Celebrity reab I sent you a message I'm like you told me because of steroids I'm like what yeah St like that's not relap I mean maybe there's it's a fine line it's a fine line you know as a matter of fact when I saw you and Frankie at that meeting it was a question is an answers meeting and somebody asked the question they put it in the bucket is steroids considered a relapse and I'm like you remember that I'm like I wonder if Jeremy wrote that question I I don't know if I did or not or if somebody wrote it because they saw my big old puffy head in that meeting my pulsing neck veins totally totally so so you went on there uh and they gave you the the money what' you do oh just three weeks in in in rehab with you know the Long Island Lolita Amy Fischer who what snapped didn't she SN cut that dude's dick off no she killed somebody she killed some she yeah theob yeah so the Long Island Lolita was like killed that other guy or something so she was with it she was in rehab yeah and Dwight Gooden and was uh Dr Drew there Dr Drew was there I spent a lot of time with Dr Drew he's actually super super duper dope I just T him the other day he is great he's he's honest and real as a matter of fact I think that when you went through there cuz it was Pasadena Recovery Center yep my ex-girlfriend Stephanie was there with you huh at some point on the other side on the other side yeah where the celebrities weren't right right right because later she told me that she knows you I'm like how from Orange County she goes no no no I was in rehab with him like what exactly that's what she said and I went and spoke out a panel there one time and she was a patient again I'm like what the [ __ ] man this chick can't get Silber but she's she's better now I went there twice I went back there oh as a regular as a real yeah patient yeah so they gave you the money and you were there for three weeks and did you get loaded no oh no I I just I threw away all the steroids and made it look great for them and and then did you get you stay sober yeah I st I mean were you even sober or were you not you know definitely the ways the ways I was behaving I was you know deep in self deep in insecurity resting satisfaction out of this world if only I would manage better you know sure other people were more to blame I was I was you know emotionally loaded for sure yeah um and you know if you're you got trt you got a prescription or you know you got low T or whatever but you know when you're doing these exorb amounts of stuff and just chasing chasing chasing yeah definitely not doing what we do in recovery you know was I drinking alcohol smoking weed taking pills and snorting coke no no meth you know no meth no but I was not healthy we'll put it that way but then over the years I remember that you still struggled to really put real sobriety together because you were in and out yeah you even told me you did meth again yeah I did a couple times how many years are you sober now three and a half 100% abstinent 100% yeah why what brought you to that point um I was having the time of my life I had been micro doing and macro dosing LSD mushrooms DMT uh all summer long and was that for depression or just for leisure just because um for fun because I'm uh uh have the delusion that one day I will control and enjoy my drinking and using I suffer from this Obsession um and I thought I was managing and controlling it was great it was beautiful and then on this one particular night I heard call it the voice of God call it my highest self call it plant medicine I don't know for sure but this voice came in my head and it said you're are you're a clown look at yourself like enough is enough you're doing the same [ __ ] you were doing back at Club rubber you know just trying to be the cool guy and you're 40 years old and you live in a sober living and you're lying and you're taking advantage of people who people's kindness and you're going to meetings claiming You're Sober on weekdays when you've been doing acid all weekend and you're gonna [ __ ] die dude like you can't do a great realization to have it said it said you've got to do the steps I swear to God it said that you've got to do the steps I was like what are you serious you mean to tell me that in that 10 years that you had before you didn't never work the steps I did the steps yeah I did weren you sponsoring guys I was sponsoring guys I was going to meetings I was being of service I was doing the whole thing but it was exteriorly driven dude I was still full full I never had that happy joyous and free man I never had that that fourth dimension I didn't have God I had God I had pocket sized God pocket sized program you know I still I I just didn't have uh yeah I guess you call it surrender you know I was still under so many delusions so now I want to talk about now this three and a half that you put together which is a big deal it's [ __ ] Monumental it's wonderful I'd take this three years over the 10 years I had before exactly no I'd take this one the day I have today over the 10 years I had before I noticed a couple of times on one of your stories on on Instagram that you were going down to Mexico because there was people that were doing IO game MH do you believe in IO game so I've sat with um three people now going through IA gang treatment and any successes I've seen rapid amazing three-day turnarounds where people don't want their fent anymore like legitimately yeah um haven't no none of those cases have stuck I saw it work in the immediate and not stick in the long run I had somebody very close to me want to go down there and they ended up going down there I think it was P of varda or something like that but they had me read this LA Times article not LA Times it was La weekly article called Shock the junkie and when I read it like in detail I was like why are they having me read this and then when I got to the end of it is really interesting it said make sure that after you do this therapy that you followed up with some 12 step meetings and possibly like do the 12 Steps yeah so um one guy I saw die out there undergoing eyea gain treatment in my arms is that why they probably Don't Legalize It in America because there's a possibility of no it wasn't it he he he uh used on top of it there yeah my God yep so you know I IA gain will push opiates out of your cell and within three days no matter how big your habit is it can it can make your system fresh like you haven't done opiates anymore so you use a little bit you go there you go there high and you start micro doing it and because you're micro doing it you're not craving as much so you do less and you do next day you do even less the next day you maybe one or two hits a day yeah and then on the fourth day boom you go down on a flood dose and then you spend like two two days not even knowing how to pee not even like seeing demons you know or all kinds of crazy stuff light is really sensitive shaky I have to carry people I me the article was titled shock the junkie shock like you're going to get loaded but it's going to be dramatic rocks your world dude yeah and then um you know after at that point if you go back to using you'll probably die because you have because you're to low tolerance no tolerance a zero yeah wow so the after care I mean you know I mean katom could help in that situation too getting off you know with that but then also katom kills people so it's addictive too I got a buddy that was doing katum after a hip surgery from the smoke shop yeah okay he runs a business guess what he was testing positive for a heroin fent fentanyl yeah from the crom he was buying at the smoke shop so it was cut and they're selling that [ __ ] in Smoke show wow [ __ ] um have you ever done any more acting um not really any desire cuz I never really saw you in anything after that no no the desire totally kind of went away man yeah doesn't entice me anymore you know I'm I'm just more intrigued inspired and purpose-- driven for being a worker amongst workers okay and the type of worker that you are right now I know that you you have your own what is it called uh energy Wellness Group inner i n n r g ing capital G yeah inner G and what do you guys do so we do group facilitation um what kind of groups uh in rehabilitation centers mental health facilities um breath work breath work we teach some of all the stuff that's helped me this time around more so than anything else um meditation meditation lots of meditations I came to one of your breath works one time which one it was the one in and uh Newport okay it was great we're going to be doing one at the Newport really hot room though I didn't like that we're doing one at the Newport Alan club now every Sunday I'd be down a couple weeks I would like to come come down I'll bring my girlfriend that'd be cool yeah and uh and then also you go on Retreats is it okay to talk about that I would love to talk about the retreat and what what is the retreat the balanced man Retreat it's in Costa Rica we do it every couple three months um it's a men's Retreat Men's Work healing work our tagline is freedom through discipline and uh you know the the the pain of discipline is although it might seem hard at first is it pales in comparison to the pain of regret you know and uh each one of us has today and only today and we put things off and men men especially have uh you know we've kind of Fallen prey to uh accusations and or toxic masculinity and all this stuff but to to be strong is really to be gentle it's it's not to be rigid you know and and to be kind is one thing yeah um but just being nice comes from the the Latin uh origin word n which means naive so there's a difference between being a nice guy which is like a naive guy which is a fake guy which is pretending and being a kind but strong guy and in in order to do that we do a lot of the work that you you'll find in in many um spiritual transformation programs like the the steps or Buddhism or dosm or you know psychos spirituality or or studying spiritual texts Christianity of um you know rooting out these fears dude yeah it's the fear that's that's screwing everything up oh so much humanties is in fear so we dig into to dude's fears and we help them bring those fears to the surface and get rid of the root of the problem so that they don't keep experiencing the same stuff and and raise people's frequency and vibration we have a lot of fun we go we do intuitive archery we ride ATVs we get guys surfing for their first time we we box we do Jiu-Jitsu we you know teach people the Navy SEAL tactics UDA Loop observe decide and act observe decide and act repeat observe decide and act because a man of action is first but a man of reaction is always late so we don't always we don't wait to react to life we take action which is everything we're taught One Foot In Front of the other trust the process make a decision decide what your focus is and go for it you know leave the results up to God kind of thing but if you don't take the action you're just sitting around do I get anywhere do am I am I too sore to go to the gym should I eat this should I should I go there should I say hi shouldn't I say hi it's you know and then we're just stuck yeah we're not taking action one last question that's it talked about your pops in the beginning yeah did you ever throughout your life end up linking up with your pops with your dad at all do you have any relationship with him no so there's one time and one time only that I remember um an encounter counter which I I didn't even get to see him I was outside playing like Hopscotch I don't know if I was like four five or six and this guy pulls up in an old beater car and he goes hey Jeremy come here and it was too shadowy in the car and I remember losing my breath I was so scared because it was like stranger danger Elementary School time yeah you know and I was like who wants to kidnap me and I ran home and I told my mom and that's really all I remember however this most recent my most recent arrest before got sober this time this was about eight years ago um I went to Wayside supermax for like four months and I ended up in a pod uh with some real OG dudes from Apple Valley and they had done time in corkran State Penitentiary which is where my dad did 15 years the last 15 years of his life really and um I was asking around and asked this one guy you know that gentleman Bandit that guy that was robbing people up and down the interstate and he was real nice he'd be really kind to the ladies uh that guy was in there call him Cowboy anyway um you know these guys are like 50 60 MH and I'm like hey you ever you ever know this name ring a bell and I told him my dad's name and he looks at me like hold up homeboy wait right here and he goes over to the other ogs and they're talking and they're pointing they're talking they're point and U and they they call me over they goes check it out bro so my dad my dad's name was worth Jackson kikendall III okay but he went by crisscross he was in he was originally in U uh Fontana uh nlr Nazi low riders Fontana yeah he disavowed that and started something called like the seventh right or something like that um and and he went by crisscross that's what everybody called him even his family called him that and they go check it out dude we've only heard of this dude we've never even seen him most people have never seen him yeah they just know of him we just call him cross but if that dude was your dad like homeboy was with the [ __ ] he had the whole prison all the whites he was in solitary confinement all year he never came out but he pulled the strings on everybody he was like the man crazy enough I got all these letters that he wrote my aunt talking about how he hates racism how it's a freaking joke how it's disgust it disgusts him and everything he's committed his life to has been a total farce and but yet he was running it in there because where are you safest you have to at the top you have to be a certain way he played the game dude he had to as a trip man and uh it's it's a trip so I never knew him but one day there's a definitely a movie about his life because when he was released from prison he went to Delany Street no I know Delany Street uh he ended up getting Belle's paly which is common for IV heroin users oh it is very common does that happen for them yep okay um half the face goes numb for a month yeah so they they they booted him um from Delany Street out of prison so he went to live with a ordained minister he had become an ordained minister and he went to go live on a Christian Ranch and uh he was subpoena during that time to testify against the warden of corkran State Penitentiary because during his years there was the most active Gladiator days it was on CNN yes Gladiator days a lot of people died and the the warden and the correctional officers were betting on fights you had to sign a waiver before you went onto the yard you you knew would die a lot of guys would not go to the yard but if you were going to go out there you had a seven seven inch piece of Steel up your ass yeah and you signed a waiver that you knew your life was that was in danger um anyway because my dad was well spoken because my dad studied law he was a white dude handsome uh he's he was subpoena and two other guys were subpoena to testify against the warden they were going to try to take him down for this yes all three of them uh were killed in a mysterious way my dad was found with a needle hanging out of his arm on that Christian Ranch the other guy who was to testify was still inside got stabbed to death and the other guy that was supposed to be in protective custody shot himself in the head just two weeks before the trial dude Jeremy if you don't [ __ ] make a movie of this [ __ ] or write a book yeah and then make a movie like I don't know what the hell you're doing all I know you're not like into acting anything it's in God's time I'm telling you it's God this is like fascinating I could play my dad on his last days for I'm telling you you could be the one playing him yeah cuz you're the handsome one but you got to be on the outs while he was always on the ins it's a trip man I'm I'm just I'm so much like him and I never even met him it's a trip wow this was a one of the most powerful episodes I've ever had but honestly I I always say that he saved my life by dying because it was only because I knew my dad was a heroin user that I never touched heroin I had a resentment against heroin for stealing my dad which was a deeper wound than than I knew drugs could fix yeah so I strictly off of hate for heroin taking my d I never touched it yeah had I touched it come on dude you seen how survived I'd be dead you'd be dead yeah so we saved my life basically you know isn't that amazing some got to go so others can stay that whole thing absolutely well um it's been a pleasure it's been an honor I love you we've got a lot of work to do ahead of us we' talked about that before and we'll keep on doing this let's go baby um if you have I wanted to see if you have any kind of good energy you could put into the universe for anybody that might be struggling from addiction Mental Health alcoholism all of it talking to that camera and tell them what you think what's up guys this is Jeremy Jackson and uh we all struggle everybody falls some people Splat and some people bounce and I I'm calling on you right now to be a bounce don't let yourself Splat pick yourself back up and I want you to use the power of positive thinking I want you to tell yourself every second until you get through this storm right here things like nothing is falling apart everything is falling together things like the universe is conspiring in my favor things like I am exactly where I'm supposed to be things like what is meant for me will be things like the more I let go the more I have the more I let go the more I have I am filled and surrounded by perfect peace nothing is falling apart everything is falling together because you have to be your best cheerleader and your nervous system will begin to believe the things that you think so think your way into a new experience survive this storm so that you can start to find people like P and myself who can help lift you up even further and pretty soon you'll have a pack you'll have a team you'll have a squad but it starts with you because we can only help as much as you'll let us and you got to get to the place where you know that you can be okay through mental repetition of positive statements the more let go the more I have I'm filled and surrounded by perfect peace nothing's falling apart everything's falling together I'm right where I'm supposed to be yes I can yes I can God's Got Me God's got me yes I can yes I will God's got me we're waiting for [Music]