S2E14 Dominique Strauss-Kahn

welcome to the switch blaz sisters Social Club a true crime podcast where two sisters exploit their worst fears For Your Entertainment you're welcome I'm D and I'm Randa and together we are the saki sisters for more information check out our website at www.switchboard.com [Music] [Music] hi this is switchb Sister Social Club where two sisters exploit their worst fears For Your Entertainment you're welcome I am d and this is Rhonda um I am very excited because I know what the people's pulse question is today do you know what we were here I feel like five minutes ago recording yesterday's we were recording just yesterday obviously it's GNA come out with a week break but so I had to upload the people's PSE question today and I tagged loads of people made them contribute but the funny thing is I have not had time to sift through them yet so I'm just gonna read them out live without fetting them which we never get them by the way if you contribute we read it although I have to say um I feel bad because I know what the question is stay tuned to find out what it is I spent all day trying to think of my I have for you I have a story for you about you about me oh okay cool cool I felt really I've been self hunting all day I felt so guil I know people tell like embarrassing stories and then not tell them okay cool I don't have any one particular story actually for the people's PS today just many near encounter so yeah I'm excited about the people's pulse because it's risky I hav I'll be reading them out live so um look because it's been a full on 24 hours and have had chance to read him yet yeah and also your face is looking good yeah do you know I do look a little bit like Mickey work today because obviously yesterday we had our Botox and fillers or I had my fillers de her Botox and I had my Botox too and so you know this morning I went into um to drop the kids off and I had to say to chase teacher look don't be alarmed he's gonna tell you about my Botox appointment he's gonna go in and be like Oh had injections all over her face Lucy is amazing and but she comes to your house so we have our Salon but she does an extra special special service for us Yeah by yeah so we just basically get sprawled out on your dining table and get injected um which is fun anyway as it happens Chase teacher is now booking in for Botox with her amazing we should have a proper Botox party because everyone I talk to is like oh can I come next time I know you know I feel bad about how much we promote like botox and surgery and stuff but to be honest we're keeping it real so yeah you know it's like when you asked when you asked um yesterday which is last week's episode about is there anything we you know we wouldn't talk about on the podcast we [ __ ] tell you everything yeah sorry this is us um we've always been a bit no filter um I know it's not good to promote bad stuff but you know we are just keeping it real yeah and you know it's so it's so difficult isn't it because like obviously we want to promote B body positivity I would love it if I woke up and was just super happy with every part of my body but you know what it's not the case I am with my junk though huh I am happy with my junk in the trunk my gon gonk you you do have a gonk gonk and it's good I'll tell you what I was thinking about today I'm one of the only safier women who has not had some sort of boob work because we have in our family like notoriously huge boobs right notoriously I me mine are the smallest in the family now we do have unreasonably big boobs and my aunt who is now in her 80s who actually the funny thing about this is that she was almost a nun so we're talking about a deeply religious proper lady she actually in the 80s had a boob reduction and um so she was actually the pioneer of of all this and when I asked her why' you have a booer production she's like oh just for fun actually her response which is not a very hard thing to say but yeah so we are just let's call it a safe Circle a no judgment zone so if you can love your body the way it is that's great do you know what I think is a bigger problem is not if you do work on yourself but who you do it for okay what do you mean like if I was getting surgery or BOTOX for a partner or specifically to attract men rather than to feel better about myself and be happier with myself I sorry one sec R wants me to open her I just punch myself in the face ow ow I had to take a little podcast break because I had to open a bag of palm bears for real and what you missed was me trying to lift up my bra because I'm still having to wear this big supportive bra after my surgery and touch myself in the face yeah um yeah so what I was saying is like I think if you're having work done on yourself or doing anything much many things for yourself um on yourself for someone else or for external validation that's a bigger problem than doing something because it will just make you wake up in the morning feeling happier yeah it's to solve your problems no but if your problem is that you're not super happy with these wrinkles up here and you can throw money at that problem and make that issue go away I'm okay with it so yeah anyways I am excited because today I'm drinking RAM and Coke do you know what I was thinking today the cola lasts so long when the glass is mainly rum science m Ma so um yes I've got my Kraken and Coke this is can I tell you the [ __ ] story yeah I'm really excited I'm getting settled I've just explained to you that I'm drinking the rub and Coke and um ready for you to just tell me the [ __ ] story okay so today I'm reverting back to a no Murder theme and I don't know if our listeners are going to like that or not so we needs to do a poll actually to see whether you want us to be purely murder oriented or crime in general so this one I actually watched about a year ago a documentary on Netflix about this I never knew who this guy was or anything about the Scandal am I are you gonna give me an opportunity to guess or okay it's a political Scandal I do love a political Scandal what country France o okay recently quite recently as well not that long ago I don't think I know this then I didn't know the guy I didn't know the Scandal and I really well to say enjoyed the Netflix documentary is the wrong word but I found it fascinating okay and has a predictable ending so okay I'm gonna talk about Dominique Strauss Khan today and his full name is Dominique gast Andre Strauss Khan he was born in 1949 and he's also known as dsk so that's what I'm going to call him because his name is [ __ ] long so dsk is k h an K Ahn K Ahn so like okay okay he's of like he's French Moroccan Jewish background so that like that's what trying to I think work out in my head okay go on yeah so he's a French Economist and politician who served as a 10th managing director of the international monetary fund the IMF and he was a member of the French Socialist Party I'm not going to talk too much about his job for the IMF it's [ __ ] boring I occasionally have to edit articles about the IMF I don't even know what the [ __ ] they do what it is boring boring I was just thinking oh how interesting because I [ __ ] love that [ __ ] but that's because I have a yeah because my political geography background so I am at [ __ ] World Bank [ __ ] I'm all over it Bas yeah [ __ ] [ __ ] that manipulate the world economy and different countries economies to suit surprise surprise a handful of countries what disappointed me most is that he is a socialist yeah I don't I don't I don't know how the two could work together I would not describe the IMF as a socialist institution and I would love to think that he was like right I'll get in therein I wouldn't describe Kier starmer as left wi either but hey weirdest [ __ ] has happened soy and self-identify however they will yeah well I naively always hear socialism and think oh morals but not in this case no so he was a professor of Economics at Paris West University um and was a minister of economy and finance from 1997 to 1999 the last bit about his boring job stuff he was was appointed managing director of the international monetary fund on the 28th of September 2007 with the backing of then president of France Nicholas sarosi who we don't like he served in that capacity until he resigned on 18th of May 2011 at the time of the crime an allegation was made that he had sexually assaulted a hotel maid so so [ __ ] cringe yeah and it gets worse as they always do um as often happens with wealthy white men the charges were later dismissed and that's the frustrating [ __ ] thing about this story is that he pretty much got away scott-free and other sexual allegations followed and resulted in acquittals these accusations were seen as controversial in France and prompted a lot of conspiracy theories because this was at the time that he was running for president of France and he was so close to winning and it was actually the Scandal that [ __ ] it for him you know um and you know I even had to I had to ask myself this question and it's a terrible question to ask but is it worse to have a right-wing president or a left-wing corrupt yeah yeah yeah because we have that I feel like we've we're thinking that in our heads um here you know because like you said Kier Sumer is um two-faced [ __ ] piece of [ __ ] call him Keith yeah so um that's what Kei yeah is he better or worse than someone who at least is outrightly [ __ ] evil yeah so I also can I I'm sorry can I just go on a little aside because we haven't talked about what's going on in Palestine very much at the moment and part of it is because it's just so [ __ ] big um but you know it is something that affects you and me personally so [ __ ] much I know that like both of us are spending a lot of time trying to follow what's going on upset by what's going on you know at time of recording last week they had a vote about a ceasefire whether they should be supporting a ceasefire in Palestine and Gaza specifically um what I do I work with Charities and stuff and so I was working with one charity very heavily on like trying to encourage MPS to vote for a ceasefire the majority voted against or abstained and to those people I want to say I hope you never [ __ ] sleep at night if peace in your life because [ __ ] you and [ __ ] you further you are scum of the earth um who votes against a ceasefire um I don't even know why I've gone on this rant Kier stammer because he abstained from it um being a foreigner in this country and specifically being Palestinian while they're making this vote about how we are not worthy of a humanitarian ceasefire makes me feel unwelcome in this country um and not happy living here and being British and I know that a lot of people feel the same whether they're foreigners whether they have different um Heritage whether they're British I know a lot of like pure blood British people are super disappointed about what's going on at the moment um yeah and it just feels [ __ ] doesn't it it just feels [ __ ] [ __ ] why did I go on to this why were you talking about it h here starmer here starmer because he is a lawyer his background is a lawyer and he abstained from voting these are people who all sign up to the morals and the principles and the theory of international law and then when it comes to us as Palestinians are like nope not for you though and that makes you feel like second class citizens set as second class humans as my dad says children of a Lesser God um I was really disappointed is the harsh contrast the stark contrast between people's sympathy for Ukraine which includes us yes and awful what's going on there lack of sympathy for Palestinians can I just say something yeah you're constantly reminded literally thought less of but you you constantly have to remind people that Palestinian lives matter matter yeah you know that that that's what is that's what I find the hardest thing is that people can really turn a blind eye you know when things happen outside Europe and I just want to say that that thing of turning a blind eye if you can ever say if you've ever heard yourself say oh I don't do politics that there is privilege because I don't think we have any this we don't we don't we don't I I we don't um the one thing I will say is something that severely disappointed me recently um like literally yesterday or earlier today um it's because it's an MP who used to be so good on the issue she was absolutely [ __ ] amazing on the issue of Palestine but Lisa nandy um she came out and said that she's not sure whether international law should be applied to Gaza and to that it's like international law being the set of laws that the world in theory has signed up to to protect humanitarian rights and and equal rights around the world and so to say that they don't apply to a specific group of people is incredibly hurtful um I'm sure she had her reasons or whatever but I can't think why you wouldn't why you would say oh yeah these rules apply to everyone but not you you know and and again these these International laws the theory of international law it the times when people decide they want to uphold them or uh shout about them or promote them it is really subjective isn't it like we say people have been all for supporting Ukraine and the Ukrainian people really rightly so you know we're not saying that they don't deserve that support but then we are going through something that is incredibly similar just the main difference is that it's been going on for 70 plus years and to to have people say oh yeah but we're not going to apply International humanitarian laws to you is just it's [ __ ] being disgusting yeah yeah so just wanted to go on a little aside because it's something that to today in particular has been really bothering me and upsetting me uh as it has been the last few weeks so let's go on about this piece of [ __ ] okay so dsk these legal cases led him to drop out of the 2012 French presidential election where he' been the favorite to win the Socialist party's nomination and the presidential election but this all put an end to his political career so he afterwards though he did resume his activities in the private sector mainly advising governments on their Sovereign debts so as I said he pretty much escaped unscathed from all of this so his early life dsk was born in 1949 in a wealthy Paris suburb he and his parents settled in Morocco in 1951 but after the 1960 earthquake they moved to Monaco where his dad prac ractice law and later return to Paris he's been married okay I mean that sums up his background practice law in Monaco yeah so he's been married four times which is always a bit of an alarm Bell because I think he clearly was not tolerable um or he was shady um and he has five kids his first wife was Helen who he married in 67 when he was 18 and she was 20 the marriage lasted 16 years and they had three kids Vanessa maren and Lauren but it ended divorce then he married his second wife Bridget a PR executive in 1986 they had a daughter in 1985 called Camille his third wife was Anison Clair who he was married to at the time of the Scandal and she was a very well-known French journalist um and TV host so the marriage um barely survived oh sorry the marriage barely survived DK's tenure at the IMF and the highly publicized allegations of sexual assault which happened in 2011 and in 2012 the Press announced their separation the divorce was finalized in 2013 and in France um an Sinclair was a respected and renowned journalist who hosted one of the most popular Prime Time chat shows on French TV then after the Scandal and I'm going to go into detail he married a lady called Miriam who was a digital Communications expert and he also had American um yeah I don't know and dsk also had an American son Darius born in 2010 which was a result of aair an affair while he was serving as director general of the IMF in Washington so the guy you can already tell from this multiple marriages and Affairs that he's he's a dick anyway in May 2011 he was arrested in New York City for allegedly having sexually assaulted a maid in a Manhattan hotel he was subsequently charged with multiple counts of sexual assaults including attempted rape Crim a criminal sexual act forceable touching sexual abuse and unlawful imprisonment in the following day it was announced indicted a hostage situation sorry so dsk was released from jail in May under strict conditions of house arrest after posting $1 million in $1 million in bail and a $5 million insurance bond but in July after prosecutors uncovered evidence casting doubt on The credibility of his accuser the cash and bond were returned to dsk and he was released from house arrest so in August of that year all charges were dropped so he after a few months of some legal turmoil his life just went back to normal he resigned from the IMF on 18th of May 2011 after he was arrested um on the 15th of May and he was actually on a plane about to take off back to France when airport police asked that the plane be stopped he was escorted off the plane and interviewed by the police and the case was later settled for an undisclosed amount with the Associated Press and the Atlantic newspaper reporting that it was rumored to be around six million so let's rewind wait so this guy is [ __ ] loaded if he paying 1 million bonds 6 million [ __ ] settlement whatever so on the 14th of May 2011 he was arrested in charge with a sexual assault and attempted rape of 32-year-old navatu Dio a housekeeper at the sofel New York hotel in Manhattan so on the 14th of May after calling the hotel and asking them to bring his missing cell phone to the airport he was met by police and taken from his paris-bound flight um at New York City's JFK airport minutes before takeoff and was later charged on several accounts of sexual assault plus unlawful imprisonment he was accused four felony charges two of criminal sexual acts for which was forcing the housekeeper to perform oral sex on him one of attempted rape and one of sexual abuse plus three misdemeanor offenses including unlawful imprisonment how is that like misdemeanor unlawful imprisonment to me tells me like [ __ ] like I said hostage situation that's like let me tell you terrifying I'm terrified so the US state department determined that DK's diplomatic immunity did not apply to this case and dsk hired New York lawyer Benjamin braffman to represent him he was reported as having sought public relations advice from a washington-based consulting firm and his defense team even hired a private detective agency to investigate the housekeeper's past so nafas satu who is the housekeeper was represented by Kenneth Thomas and and Douglas wigdor of Thompson wigdor LLP a two-partner law firm whose areas of expertise included employment law and civil rights cases so Thompson hired a Paris lawyer to look for women in France who may have been victimized by dsk because obviously a guy capable of this is probably not his first time and dsk appeared in court on May 16th before the New York City Criminal Court Judge Melissa Jackson and during proceedings the prosecution stated that the housekeep er um who was an immigrant asy from um the West African state of Guinea had provided a detailed account of the alleged assault um she had picked dsk out of a lineup and the DNA evidence recovered at the site was being tested so dsk who had earlier agreed you just skip over whole sentences that are just gross the DNA evidence at the site like so I need to clarify that one so dsk who had earlier agreed to a forensic examin pleaded not guilty and judge jackon judge judge Jackson denied his bail request stating that the fact that dsk was apprehended on a departing airplane raised some concerns so on 19th of May five days later dsk was indicted by a Manhattan grand jury on several criminal counts two of which were first degree criminal sexual act each punishable by a sentence of up to 25 years in prison on that date New York Supreme Court Justice Michael J obis granted DK's bail which was set at 1 million with the additional restrictions of 24-hour home detention and an electronic monitoring ankle bracelet sorry can I just ask where did he live at this time Parris but his his wife had a townhouse in New York okay so he's kind of probably a bit half half yeah so he actually did spend four days at the really notorious Rikers Island prison in New York which is apparently almost as bad as it gets but he then was just under house arrest at his really nice Town House must be so difficult for him oh after dsk turned over his passport and posted an additional five million bail bond he was placed under house arrest in a residence in lower Manhattan and uh an his wife flew out to be buy a side telling friends that she did not believe the allegations for a single second she posted the $6 million in one million of it in cash from her own money because she was a wealthy airs as well oh L yeah when stasan was put under house arrest she stumped up 200,000 a month Around the Clock security guards and $50,000 month dollars of monthly rent on the Manhattan townhouse and so she was paying for the rent for him to stay in a really nice place sorry 50,000 a month yeah yeah so an was trailed by reporters everywhere she went her personal private fortune and her decision to stand by her man were endlessly analyzed and critiqued by the the media and on the 24th of May it was reported that DNA tests of Sean found on navatu shirt the housekeeper had shown a match with a DNA sample from dsk so he was arraigned on June the 6th and pled not guilty so hang on a minute can I just say say at the very least the least worst scenario then is that they had consensual sex yeah so he eventually admitted that they had an encounter and that it was consensual from his so what I'm saying is I mean I don't I don't for a second believe it was consensual but even if we think the least worst scenario that it was consensual sex between this guy and why is his wife [ __ ] standing well not for long but we'll see I'm gonna go that outside the Court lawyers for the parties made statements Benjamin bman for dsk said in our judgment once the evidence has been reviewed it will be clear that there was no element of forcible compulsion in this case whatsoever any suggestion to the contrary is simply not credible then Kenneth Thompson naatu lawyer said of all DK's power money and influence would not stop the truth come coming out so then the incident itself so the exact nature of what happened inside the presidential suite of the SEL Hotel uh will never be known because there are no Witnesses other than dsk and navatu both parties agreed there was a sexual encounter dsk says it was consensual nafas satu by contrast states that he dragged her first to the bedroom then to the end of the Interior Corridor across from the bathroom where after molesting her he forced her to perform oral sex on him dsk does not want to go into detail about the encounter though he doesn't deny that it takes place he claimed he was getting out the shower and rushing to meet his daughter for lunch at 12:30 when he stepped out the bathroom still naked he says he was surprised to see a woman in a housekeeper's uniform looking directly at him I don't know why i''d be surprised because he's in a hotel so from DK's perspective apparently it did not look as if she had come to clean the suite I don't know why he even says that because she was wearing the uniform so what the [ __ ] else do you think she's doing there and he said I am certain she had no cleaning equipment there was no cleaning cart he says can you imagine such a [ __ ] weak defense anyway they had a brief exchange of words and gestures from which he surmised that she was offering him a sexual service he says What followed he insists was consensual though that conflicts with Navas sat's account to police that he brutally sexually attacked her so on the 30th of June a month later the district attorney sent a letter to DK's defense team disclosing the information about naatu because remember I said that they thought question her credibility so prosecutors met with DK's defense team the same day and that evening the New York Times reported the case as being on the verge of collapse and quoted law enforcement officials as saying investigators had uncovered holes in navatu credibility so following DK's release on bail the following day the same paper reported that navatu had admitted she lied about the events immediately following her encounter with dsk she had initially said that the alleged assault uh after the alleged assault she waited in a hallway until dsk had left she later said she cleaned an adjacent room and then returned to DK's room to clean there before reporting to her supervisor that she had been attacked now I don't think that makes her not credible because no when you go through a traumatic experience you don't always it's hard to re re you know recollect the exact you know events in order right and also you don't know how to [ __ ] act when you've been sexually assaulted on a shift you know exactly exactly that's the thing I can imagine her I remember in the documentary she's saying I really like this job I've got a good job she had like a im exactly and she had a young teenage daughter she didn't want to lose her job and I can imagine there's probably that turmoil of do I report this and potentially [ __ ] up my job because you don't know how your superiors are going to handle it or you just force it down and get on with it so I can imagine this is probably a very bad example to bring up but you remember last week's episode about um when Susan had to get moved herself because she'd made an accusation against her Superior she was found to be in the right and he got demot but she still had to move because everyone was angry with her about that's the thing you know she knew I'm sure that it was G to have it's G to [ __ ] with her life whatever she does you know and I can imagine taking that moment to think am I ready to open up a case and report a guy who maybe she didn't know what his job was but clearly could see that he's wealthy judging by staying in the presidential suite so going to clean another room if that is what happened to think about what the [ __ ] you're going to do and process what happened is not that weird I don't because also we've all had situations where people have said or done stuff to us that has shocked us so much that we're like yeah hang that did that even happen am I am I am I remembering it right like because you're so shocked you know like you think for example if someone's going to be rude to you that you'll [ __ ] tell them you're being rude to me but actually when someone's really [ __ ] like out of this world crazily rude and unpredictably rude to me I normally go [ __ ] quiet because I'm so shocked and I'm so confused that that's actually [ __ ] happening in real time and then you have the annoying thing where you're like afterwards like oh I should have told them they have a micro P I don't know but you know so yeah that doesn't surprise me at all because you know what also no I just need to say especially that us as women we are quite often used to outrageous behavior towards us and so you do have to carry on with your [ __ ] day after someone said something stupid to it or you know like it that is just standard for women yeah so among the discoveries were statements by nafas satu to investigators differing from what she had put in her Asylum application um her claiming to have only one phone while paying hundreds of dollars a month to five phone companies and individuals including known felons depositing almost 100,000 into her bank account over previous two years again I see that as separate issues you know how the [ __ ] does that mean that if she says she's been assaulted exactly I see that as separate issues so you know how they just say Asylum Seeker is going to be extra nervous about um causing waves yeah so in addition the prosecution learned that the follow that the the day following the alleged assault nafasat had made a phone call in her native fola language to her boyfriend in an immigration detention center and the New York Times quoted a law enforcement official saying that a translation of the call revealed she had used words to the effect of don't worry this guy has a lot of money I know what I'm doing but prosecutors said that the conversation one of at least three they recorded raised very troubling questions about the credibility about her credibility because she discussed the possibil the possible benefits of pursuing charges against a wealthy man however according to the New York Times the translation of the call um sorry but after obtaining the recorded audio from the call the accusers attorney countered that it was her boyfriend who expressed fear about the financial power of dsk and navatu merely dismissed his fears by saying that her lawyer knew what he was doing so you see how entirely different context it's yeah exactly so that one like it actually shocked me because I thought this is how they can twist things so easily so Thompson navatu attorney challenged the prosecutor's handling inter interpretation of the phone call and asked them to withdraw and appoint a special prosecutor the prosecutors declined to recuse their office saying Thompson's request was without Merit so subsequent events the morning after the pro prosecution's disclosure in a brief court hearing in which prosecutors said they had reassessed the strength of the case dsk was released from house arrest on his um on his own recogn is this recognizance or recognizance how [ __ ] you say it recognizance on his own recognizance without bail so his passport remained surrendered although he was free to travel within the US um the next scheduled hearing was postponed twice from 18th of July to the 1st of August and then again to August 23rd with the prosecutors saying they needed more time to investigate and the defense saying they hoped it would lead to a dismission dismissal of charges so on the 8th of August navatu filed a civil action against dsk um in the Supreme Court of the state of New York in Bronx in the Bronx and um sorry hold on one sec sorry so then on the 15th of May 2012 the year after a few days after the French election for President dsk filed a counter suit against Dio for making baseless accusations that cost him his job as managing director of the IMF and other professional opport unities because until his arrest dsk was considered to be a likely candidate to run against Nicholas sarosi who became president instead and Navas Hat's lawsuit was settled together with DK's counter suit for an undisclosed amount on 10th of December 2012 so a year and a half after the initial incident in a separate suit against the New York Post who had reported she was a prostitute was settled at the same time and navatu attorney described navatu as a strong and courageous woman who had never lost faith in the American justice system and I have to say if you watch a documentary like I fully believed her you know I there was poor lady yeah she seemed very just imagine the scrutiny yeah yeah and um a French newspaper later reported the settlement um was for 1.5 million of which Dio received a little less than a million after fees um and it noted that negotiations between the parties had started after an application for diplomatic immunity by dsk had been rejected by the judge and settling the suit meant that dsk avoided a long and humiliating examination in court and you know I can see why Navas satu would have settled as well because a million is a changing amount and also at that point a year and a half in you must be so sick of this whole trauma taking over your life I can imagine your life just being on pause you know throughout all of this not being ble to move on from it being known as that being under scrutiny and having every element of your life and all your conversations [ __ ] analyzed and she must have got an indication that like this if it goes to court it's probably not even going to end well for her yeah yeah so on 22nd of August 2011 prosecutors filed a recommendation for dismiss dismissal of the charges and they told the court that inconsistencies in nafasat testimon led to a decision to recommend all charges be dropped the decision to drop the case was based on a number of facts outlined in a 25-page document which um cited that the physical evidence indicated a sexual encounter but did not prove use of force or non-consent the protection uh the prosecution noted multiple instances of the accuser's untruthfulness including fabricating the story that she was gang raped in her native Guinea to gain asylum in the US although her Asylum application didn't include it now again what so it had nothing to do with her Asylum application huh so she at some point has says she's been gang raped in our home Country Wasn't and she said that in court um and it was very convincing but her Asylum application didn't state that so it wasn't part of her application so it seems like it was [ __ ] irrelevant yeah so well they considered her to be untruthful because it wasn't onor application but it's like you know maybe people don't want to divulge at that time she's divulging it now because you're in the middle of a court case you know and also she would have had to analyze and hopefully had like you know professional advice about whether it was going to be upheld like whether people you know what was the best thing to [ __ ] put on that Asylum application yeah what [ __ ] dicks who [ __ ] when they say someone's an unreliable witness they really dredge up some [ __ ] that sometimes just isn't relevant you think like oh but why didn't she say X Y and Z like sorry but do you you know have a have a think yourself do you do you feel the need to [ __ ] tell everyone every part about you at every occasion yeah yeah do you tell your work colleagues your private life do you tell your [ __ ] private people all of the stuff that goes on in your work no like it doesn't mean you're unreliable it means that so also changing her version of events before during and after the alleged assault also apparently made her an unreliable um person but again you know ask anyone to recall the exact events of anything you know in order also you know when you're processing a traumatic experience it does come to you in stages yeah I can imagine so yeah it's so consequently prosecutors stated they could no longer believe Navas beond Reasonable Doubt and could not expect any jury to do so either and on 23d of August all charges against dsk were dismissed as requested by the prosecution he returned to Paris on the 3rd of September and on the 9th of September the accusers attorney filed a civil suit against dsk New York follow um followed Weeks Later by a motion for dismissal by dsk um on the 18th of September he was interviewed on French TV and he agreed that encounter with nafas satu in New York had been an error and a moral failure but denied it was a criminal act he accused her of lying about the encounter obviously he was going to say that um he was convinced that his downfall was choreographed by his political enemies so he thinks that well he said that he thought there was some sort of political conspiracy so that he wouldn't win the elections um he thinks they may not have gone so far as to set up the encounter with her but believes that they did play a role through intercepting phone calls and making sure she went to the police to create a scandal so he's clutching you know um it's like creating a diversion that yeah I might have done this but so what you know after they had consensual sex his enemies were standing outside the door and they're like oh you know you you know what you should do you should go to the police and pretend this was rape yeah so the media in France has recently reported based on interviews with French intelligence that that he had become a target of the country's intelligence service in 2011 but I apparently um sorry one sec when asked whether he believes the targeting of him by French intelligence and The Intercept interception of phone calls um and the surveillance are related he said it appear it would appear that more was involved here than mere coincidence okay so other accusers because obviously a guy like this is not going to be the first time back in France the spotlight fell on a young journalist in writer called Tristan benon who was in the documentary she had also accused dsk of attempted rape years before when she was only 23 years old um so she was a journalism graduate who dreamed of becoming a writer and a novelist and she went to interview dsk for a magazine in 2002 at the time he was 53 and a leading member of the Socialist Party he was also the father of one of her close friends and the former husband of her godmother so so it's gross on so many levels she says he jumped on her forced his hands into her pants groped her boobs and attempted to rape her St um dsk denied the accusation saying he had just tried to kiss her again Bill gross yeah sick [ __ ] you know she says she was dissuaded from reporting the attack to police by her mother and friends who said no one would believe her and the accusation would Define her life and that made me so [ __ ] sad that her mother said that you know and Friends bad advisers honestly really [ __ ] bad advice anyway so yeah but also also do you know what's what's also sad probably kind of true yeah yeah yes but at the same time this is how people get away with no I know I know probably a bit true but you would still hope that her friends and her mother are like well look we are GNA [ __ ] fight this right so after four years four years after his arrest in New York he was back in course court facing charges of aggravated curing for the purposes of prostitution commonly known as pimping so he was back in court four years later for Pimping Pimping yes so dsk was accused of helping to attain sex workers for an alleged prostitution ring and in the documentary they actually interviewed several sex workers um there's a lot of evidence there watch the documentary so amson Clair divorced him in June 2012 because of those allegations not because of the housekeeper allegations but because of the sex even when he confessed that he had had cons seexual consensual sexual relationship with this housekeeper that wasn't enough for her yeah so she said she was bathed in denial about her husband's activities and characterized her attitude to him as one of submission and acceptance so in a retrospect and says she cannot believe her own blindness she said Dominique never confessed I had if I had suspicions he calmed them or made me feel ridiculous and embarrassed when he switched his phone off suddenly or changed the page on his computer or came home late from meeting he always had a good reason he was a [ __ ] gaslighter and a manipulator so when it was revealed in 2008 that dsk had an affair with a Hungarian Economist at the IMF and said he swore to God that it was his first infidelity in 18 years of marriage never again he promised I am naive I believed him or I wanted to believe him so the case which had become known as the Carlton Affair concerns um this so this is the sex ring case concerns so-called sex parties and a prostitution ring centered around the Carlton Hotel in the northern French city of Le and he denied any wrongdoing any wrongdoing during his first day of testimony on charges of pimping and speaking in court um on the 10th of February he denied committing any crime or offense saying no wild activity took place he denies knowing the women were sex workers but has admitted taking part in orchies and the prosecution argues that dsk used his business contacts to hire women for sex parties in Paris Washington and in Le's Carlson hotel where the ring is alleged to have been based but he again but again he was acquitted of charges that he instigated sex parties with sex workers in addition to avatu accusations other allegations emerged against him too so we had Tristan the the French journalist who accused him of attempting to rap her in 2003 um and this accusation was made public around the time of the New York incident with navatu but French prosecutors eventually dropped the case citing the statute of limitations there were also reports of other women who came forward with allegations of inappropriate behavior or sexual advances by dsk those the though these did not Le to formal charges his conduct in these allegations spark debates about power dynamics sexual misconduct and political accountability and um women who claim that dsk here's a list of the women who have who claimed that he made advances towards them or worse than advances so we had Tatu in New York two female receptionists at the sof hotel which is the same Hotel one says she escorted thek to room and he asked her to stay for a glass of champagne she refused he then allegedly called the second receptionist and asked her to come to his room for a drink after her Judy she also turned him down then we had Tristan banon the journalist um who described him like a horny monkey yeah gross it's gross um an unnamed French actress who said DS acted like a gorilla after inviting her back to a Paris flat then we had 14 unnamed women who were friends of tiar Anderson a talk show host he says everyone knew about it I have 14 women Pals who've told me he tried to jump me 14 yeah then there's a Mexican uh housekeeper who dsk sexually assaulted in Mexico when he was making an official work visit then we have someone called Martina who we don't know her surname who is a tall and willowy journalist based in Europe who says it was after a group interview he got my phone phone number from his Embassy or The Institute um and started calling me saying if you go out with me you can have your own interview gross um a married also a married administrative worker who claimed she was press into having sex with him so this is quite a list and I'm sure there's more with a guy who clearly is so openly brazenly a sex Pest and a rapist that's what allegedly but you know what it's so scary how they really just do it in plain sight because they [ __ ] get away with it anyway so this not taught otherwise for so long consequences that's the thing no consequences no reason to moderate their behavior and urges he lives in mares with his fourth wife who's half his age so you know there was just no real recourse for his actions you know and okay so my sources you've got britannica.com euron news we've got three different articles from EUR news and New York Magazine New York Times the New York Post and the guardian what's the documentary called and what's it on it's on Netflix and I can't remember what it's called let me find the name because I did say go on Google it oh it's called the accusation the accus room 20 room 2806 the accusation oh watching it again I feel like watching it again you know I might do that tonight but yeah just [ __ ] awful you know what oh to be a rich white man also the other scary thing is that he is [ __ ] convincing when he's in his socialist mode I would have watched him on TV thinking oh yeah that guy's G what a good man yeah yeah that's a scary thing that and that's what I'll never understand the people who have do they have a split personality are they all bad is it possible to be so [ __ ] bad and still have a good side because I still don't understand how you can be a rapist and a socialist because to to me they don't align I don't understand how you can be good in some respects and moral in some respects and not in others are they good like 99% of the time but then their natural urges just overtake them at times yeah are they lying about what I don't is about his background what the clearly something [ __ ] happened as a kid in his formative years well he is it just he's so [ __ ] spoiled and Rich that he got away with it is that enough to make somebody so [ __ ] up I don't know because like I think you know as children you push your boundaries right you test your boundaries and it is the role of your parents to set the boundaries and to teach you consequences when you overstep any boundaries is it the case that if you are just that rich and spoiled that you just never learn where the [ __ ] boundaries are in polite Society well yeah but it's not enough but to be spoiled spoiled gone wrong can you can you go well maybe maybe it's if it's also found in someone who has for example narcissistic personality disorder you know and can you have good parents and still be like this I have so many questions this is what I'm fascinated by is how the [ __ ] it gets to that point you know because clearly he's a master manipulator he managed to get four women to marry him you know so he obviously knows how to put up a front to do the Charming act you know I mean like I said even the fact that he's in the Socialist Party and working for the IMF I'm like confused unless he was trying to you know beat the system from within the IMF is not a notoriously socialist institution so how do those things how does he um line up those uh cognitive dissonance beliefs I don't know and then also there's just so many themes you know when they say that certain types of women are not reliable Witnesses I hate it when they say that you know and like they when they were commenting on her reliability because how she responded after she was allegedly sexually supposed to does does the accuser need to be rich in white to be credible you know or is it is it you and and sorry how was she meant to act after she was sexually assaulted to make her credible yeah and that's the thing it's just there these recurring frustrating themes of you know when they say someone's not a reliable witness the type of people that get off scott free you know I mean for example we talked about the Menendez brothers a couple weeks ago there's no doubt that they were sexually abused sexually and otherwise abused growing up they're still in prison you know dsk four [ __ ] days in prison you know and I just feel like we didn't even get to get the case in court because they dismissed this lady as unreliable so it's not even an issue of whether or not she was telling the truth about this incident or not because they didn't give her the opportunity to prove that in court because they dismissed her it was dismissed before it even got to that stage but nothing I heard for me was evidence enough that she shouldn't even have that her the opportunity to present her case in I do have good news so with the money she opened up her own restaurant which is doing really well in New York yeah oh next time any of you guys are in New York go to her [ __ ] restaurant what what is it called it we'll link it I I can't remember the name but we'll link it in the show notes um but yeah apparently a really good restaurant of West African food and yes I'm really happy that she you know because she had a teenage daughter you know single parent of a teenage daughter so I'm glad I'm glad that it had she was able to you know open up and that would have been a factor wouldn't it I could go to court not be believed have my name [ __ ] dve through the mud even more have every life decision and activity [ __ ] questioned and blah blah blah or I could take this opportunity to make him pay financially rather than legally and have a life-changing opportunity for myself after this horrendous thing I've gone through yeah so you know yeah I like to end the story with the fact that she opened up her own restaurant cook do you know what I'm going to do I'm going to go on there I'm going to go on trip advisor and write her a good review even though I haven't been yet yeah let's yes exactly put we'll yeah put the rest on in the show notes everyone write her good review and write us a [ __ ] good review too while you're there oh yeah yeah you know I should probably put our Link in the [ __ ] show Notes too yeah um that was a [ __ ] Bonker story yeah do you know I I'm gonna do a poll to see if I listeners actually like the deviation away from murder but I actually find crimes that aren't murder even more interesting I I I find them more interesting and yeah just a shocking I mean that is [ __ ] shocking and yet totally unpredictable GNA be boring huh you thought it was gonna be boring when I started no I never think any of your stories are going to be boring but you wondered how I could fill an episode no yeah wasn't sure oh no that was [ __ ] I why I don't remember hearing about this at all maybe because you remember hear you know honestly I don't remember either at the time no I bet we would have if we lived in France and or the states at the time but yeah see okay so hold on I gotta go put kids to bed and then I'm GNA come back for people's PSE all right well so let's make that a little break time then and now we're GNA take a break part two people's pulse P people's pulse so com Karen actually reminded me that we said a few weeks ago that we were going to do this topic and we got on to this topic I think because we're talking about the worst job we ever had and then Mark mentioned his which was cleaning sewage pipes with his bare hands to be fair most of them more poo related yeah so then that prompted us we because we also talked about humor and how I think it's funny that you don't like any kind of like sexual innuendo or whatever like it has to be some people do to be honest like a lot of people do it's fine but it's not what you find funny and but then you it's not like your humor is so mature that you're not above a good poo story joke oh yeah I mean look if you I don't like farting and burping stories it actually [ __ ] annoys me if somebody does that around you I just feel like it's a violation of your space Also I want to say like we never grew up in a house where people were farting in front of each other or whatever like some household people feel comfortable doing that we never done that that's not to say like a little fart hasn't slipped out or whatever but like did we [ __ ] piss in the pool Sam thank you very much Sam thinks we were lying when we said that we as adults did not do not pee oh I was just about to say as a kid I probably did or as a toddler I probably did I'm sure I'm sure but I don't remember as an adult I don't remember since I developed the phobia and the story I told last week peeing in the pool and a SAM D is so considerate and polite and B I'm so grossed out so for those two reasons I can tell you that in our adult life we have not peed in a pool that's not to say we haven't done other gross disgusting stuff but that is not one of them I can't think of gross disgusting stuff that we have done but anyway okay sorry I'm pretty drunk oh okay let me continue so okay so as I said I haven't read I'm reading these in real time because we recorded an episode yesterday so one of another people's P went out yesterday and then today this one's been up only for a few hours on our stories I haven't had time to [ __ ] look at them yet so I'm read them out live so tell us first what the story is and then do we do our stories at the beginning or the end end end so basically the story is funny poo stories it was going to be stories about how people shout themselves I thought let me cast The Net a little wider okay so first we got our new friend Jane she says as a runner you can be struck down at any time with a runner's trots I didn't know that was a thing I didn't know and now I will never run I have been known to need a poo on a long run churches coffee shops garages hotels anywhere open early at a weekend will have Me Knocking asking to use a toilet during lockdown when all those places were shot I had to call hubs and ask him to pick me up because I needed a poo you're not a real Runner unless you've had an emergency poo ask Paul radical Joe this is my first time being exposed to to Runners Runners trots the first time I as a former longdistance Runner half marathons um I agree although I've been fortunate in that I've never been caught short anywhere but yes God I mean if that's there that's reason enough for me never to and also can I tell you another a new level of anxiety that you're probably not aware of when you're doing a timed event and a h what do you mean a timed event what do you mean a Tim like if you're actually doing a run like a a half marathon you know whatever and you're really like oh I want to beat my personal breast or whatever and then you have the [ __ ] to go and wait in the long queue with everyone else who's got the runner TRS Google this as to what it is about running is it all exercise is it just like movement I don't know okay so this is our our dear friend Sam our favorite Sam now I haven't read but I did read the last comment which says sorry it's vulgar so I read that now I'm going to read you the story so he said I was at a bonfire party of a friend of a friend's house while his parents were away when I was about 18 I was sitting on a bench in the garden next to one of my best friends we were all quite drunk surprise surprise I needed to fart and I thought it would be funny to do it really loud next to my mate unfortunately due to the intoxication and the extra emphasis of trying to do it loudly I followed through Sam you understood the assignment I didn't say anybody and went to the bathroom to sort myself out once I was clean I was trying to figure out what to do with the evidence that was my box of shorts I thought they might block his drains if I tried to flush and I couldn't just put them in his bathroom bin off so I decided the best course of action would be to open the bathroom window and throw them as far as I possibly could hey my trousers on and carried on with the night as if nothing had happened and said nothing more to follow I don't hear anything about it again until a few weeks later when I saw the guy who hosted and he was telling a group of us that when his parents got back from holiday they had a knock on the door from an elderly neighor elderly neighbor who had returned a pair of soiled box of shorts that he had retrieved from his Conservatory roof again I said nothing oh my God Sam you know this is the other thing about [ __ ] stories that makes them like hilarious it's the Panic the Panic you know not only are you like yeah it's the case of what the [ __ ] do you do do you know what I mean Sam that was a brilliant story oh that was exctly the assignment and I just want to say and I think I speak for round the two that has not changed how we feel about you we still if anything we still adore you maybe more and love you even more no need to apologize for vulgarity because we asked for shame stories we brought it on ourselves we'd be disappointed if it wasn't [ __ ] vulgar you know just when you think we can't get lower brow we we managed to okay so now I'm about to do something risky so you know our dear friend centry Karen centry Karen we love her yes okay she said she only has a funny one about her wife now the reason this is risque is that it's two voice notes I haven't there's no yeah so we apologize for my poor timekeeping and time management that I haven't had a time to read this transcribe it and read it out but you're going live make sure you hold it up to your mic okay we need to hear this [ __ ] crisp I love her accent okay let's go hi it's Karen from the Midlands um just giving you uh my voice note about funny poo stories but as I said it's not about me it's about my wife um so my wife had um a really delicate digestive system and she can't really have anything that's like full fat milk or or full you know like or anything like that it's really really rich for and it makes them in in in short it makes her want to P herself so we were on holiday and we've gone to like AB with all I'm do no somewhere for the day I can't remember which one it was and um we' gone and got a coffee and then we were going to walk up this really really big hill more really like mountain and um we got halfway up this hill and went I don't think that coffee was I don't think that coffee was s milk I think fat I was getting into that hold on there's a second one and I feel you I feel you Ken's wife because I'm the same stuff they're halfway up the hill okay okay let's hear the second second a half I did not realize it could me up for a minute so so as I said my wife said don't think that coffee was made with semis skinn milk and she just looked at me with absolute fear and went I really need to go to the toilet I'm going to PO myself and I was like well you can't po heer because we 20 minutes up this mountain 25 minutes or whatever it was and there's loads of people she's like I'm just going to go on the side I'm just going to go over go past the pth over the other side of the pth and I'm going to go and I was like do not you do not dare right so I basically made her walk really fast down to the bottom of the hill and all the time she gonna up so we R We R and she pushed into the toilets and said like I'm really sorry I have to go to the toilet and I had to sit outside and wait for her for like half an hour because basically bowels just let her [ __ ] on the mountain that story was going somewhere else she was gonna [ __ ] off the side of the mountain onto people below's the ideal place especially if there's no one around Karen why did you make her because she said there was loads of people around oh loads of people oh [ __ ] I mean oh Karen's wife I don't know what your name is but bless you and your delicate digestive system I feel her so bad because I have IBS so everything goes straight through me oh oh bless you I actually do remember listening to that I did have somewhat of a story okay so oh it's long okay so we have our theorist Susie we need to get her on here one day Susie Susie would you mind doing a a little guest appearance of course she won't well we'll ask her nicely so Susie says believe it or not the only funny poo story I have is the one I've already told you no Susie you've got more I do have a funny vom story while we're opening we take it we'll take it that will be our next topic oh I have loads of those oh yeah a b catalog so she says I went to see Robbie Williams with three of my besties I was the last pickup by the time we got out of my road I had a home measure vodka lemonade in my hand by the time we got to the stadium the four of us had drank a liter of vodka I was a n iated [ __ ] oh but you know when you show up and you're already far gone I was serving people behind the bar giving prizes for the best jokes it was a mess on the way home I was desperate for the L thankfully I was the first drop off home I ran to the downstairs Loop left all the doors open all of a sudden I could feel the Mexican lunch I'd eaten getting to Bubble oh so I was sat on the loose throwing up Mexican food and vodka into the smallest sink known to man oh there's something about vodka that's really not nice to throw up I remember throwing up vodka and it was a bright yellow oh God imagine throwing up because you're like nauseous from drinking too much and then you're puking up Mexican food too that's like double nausea yeah my sister came downstairs to see why the front door was wide open only to hear me heaving she opened the door to see me sat in the loose still peeing and hurling into the sink sorry it's good he then came out with the best line Susie if you have the choice of peeing on the floor or vomiting into a sink you pee on the floor I like your sister too life advice wa oh my God it's too much yeah because can we just say cleaning sick out of a sink I've done that many times many time oh God many times you've done it for me too she had never let me live that one down also thereso and vodka are not friends so she said it's not a poop story but a lose story and said you know what I [ __ ] love it we'll take it we'll take it that was brilliant sorry sorry that that happened to you Susie what a story Isa everybody knows Isa the of criminy good books York we opening in the new year she's got her property now yeah yeah follow her on Instagram so you can see it's [ __ ] swish it looks amazing and it's going to look better and better as the days go by she's posting about all the updates that you know all the renovations and everything and hopefully February time it's going to be open so you know that Isa has [ __ ] stories I know and this one only a few weeks ago I tagged her in this post there was one only a few weeks ago it involved her mother and some cake and some coffee anyway but we also believe in consent and so when I asked Isa did she have a story she said oh God no now we know that's lie she's lying I can literally think of like eight off the top of my head for her so she's lying but anyways but I don't have a story to read out it is it's funniest in isa's words okay then lucb our dearest friend so she says I'm reading this out having not seen it okay it's not my poo story but everyone who has kids has a poo story right then she says I took my eldest on holiday when he was potty training and we were waiting to go into the restaurant at the resort was that when you went to Spain and then we were playing on the grass outside right in front of the window and out of nowhere he just pulls his trousers and pants down and starts dropping a log on the grass the whole restaurant was watching not particularly appetizing for them at least he pulled his pants down and then another child related one you know how when toddlers poop they pull the most incredible face you know when they are about to go because of their con yeah you know when you're about they're about to go because of concentration on their face she said it was just before bath time and my eldest was having nappy free time I was on the other side of the bedroom and he is stood up balancing against the cupboard he turns and looks at me and I know it's coming I shouted at his daddy's gonna poo he was nearer it was a split-second decision what do you do you have two choices you let it go over the carpet or do what his dad did hold out your hands oh I mean that would never be the choice that I would take I would sacrifice the carpet you just get your whole house recarpeted wouldn't you I mean I I have a carpet cleaner uh which we have to regularly use but hounds oh wow I mean that's taking parenting to the next level parenting and home ownership to the next level like Lally holding myself that would hurt me um wow how did we come to this that that was it yeah thank you yours yours okay so yours yours yours okay so I'm really fortunate especially somebody who has IBS and who was a teacher for 12 years when I couldn't go to the toilet when I wanted to I actually am so lucky to say touchwood that I've never had I've never shat myself and I've never had an embarrassing whoo story but the amount of near misses I've had where my life could have instantly changed in a blink of an eye the amount of near Miss not the blink of an eye you know and whenever it's happening whenever you're like oh Karen had a great word centry Karen pooria where you actually do make it on times of toilet and you have a newfound love of life and I've been blessed that I've always managed to make it to a toilet but the near misses have been like in triple figures and whenever I'm in that situation and the funny thing is like several people mentioned it mentioned it the fear and the Panic of what the [ __ ] do I do you know it's so many times I was like okay if I sh myself here in this context in front of these people I'm going to have to cut off these friendships going I have to dump my partner because you can't ever come back from that no you will never forget somehow it's okay to puke in front of somebody but if you [ __ ] in front of somebody you [ __ ] yourself in front of somebody it will change things forever so there no coming back from it there's no coming back from it listen there's no amount of excuses oh I didn't mean to do that I'm so sorry of course you are but it [ __ ] happens and and no amount of them telling you oh it's okay don't be embarrassed would ever make you not [ __ ] embarrassed and honestly oh my sister-in-law I won't say she's shot herself driving several times oh I know exactly which one it isal times shot herself while driving and I'm lucky there must be a God that I have never actually chat myself the closest thing I can think I mean there's many near misses where I've just in time put the key in the lock and got through the front door or parked up run into the house or made it to the service station I've had so much luck on my side but the only closest story I have it's not even funny it's more just like sensible but like about a year ago I had the worst [ __ ] uh food poisoning like I ate like a dodgy Cari it must have been old cuz I have never you know I woke up 20 something times that night to [ __ ] myself 20 something times and then the next day I was supposed to take the kids to the soft play and like there was no getting out of that there was no getting out of that with Chay he is not when he has a plan yeah he is a stickler so there was no getting out of it so I thought I'm I'm gonna [ __ ] go there's every risk I'm gonna [ __ ] myself and you know what I did I wore a [ __ ] tenna lady and you know what I'm not ashamed to say that I wore a [ __ ] adult nappy yes I have those and I have those because I have anxiety any case for this kind of situation you never [ __ ] know when you need it you know what if I have to drive the kids to school but I've got the shits I still got to drive them to school that's a [ __ ] long journey that can take an hour so anyway I have them as a safeguard and so I'm not embarrassed to say this because I believe in the nobility of herir toiling yourself and and I thought I'm not going to let them down I'm still gon to [ __ ] take them and had not slept can you imagine wake up 20 something times a night like my I didn't sleep I was so [ __ ] dehydrated because you know you [ __ ] yourself constantly and it's like ass piss oh God I went to [ __ ] Bellaboo's soft play wearing a [ __ ] adult nappy luckily I didn't need to use it but that's the closest I have other than all of my near misses and they were so many I mean I can so many times I was in the classroom like I'm going to [ __ ] myself I'm going to [ __ ] myself and somehow through divine intervention I always man to manag to make it and now I probably won't now that I've said that because as soon as you say it it's GNA [ __ ] happen to me but yeah well we'll update you all listeners if Ron ever shits yourself oh I'll first did you say you have stories to volunteer for me yes I do yeah do you I'm gonna see what you remember first um so we've opened it up so it's not just [ __ ] yourself stories right okay right is that no are we talking about vomit ones let's save those for another people's P you are saving no I mean like I have a I have a story involving [ __ ] that I'm embarrassed that still makes me cringe okay um it involves your your dog Pooky when you had a Chihuahua called Pooky and I used to occasionally take Pooky for a walk and um I bumped into an ex time which one which one Stephen oh God bumped into him uhuh and I had Chihuahua lead here in one hand Pooky the chah AA and a bag of Pooky [ __ ] you know because responsible dog ownership and whatnot so I had a bag of dog [ __ ] in my hand bumped into Stephen we' had an awkward breakup so I was really uncomfortable about bumping into him and he'd not met Pooky or whatever and I meant to go and wave like the dog lead and be like oh it's not mine and instead I I wave this bag of poop and I'm like oh it's not mine like I need to clarify to my ex this is not a bag of my own [ __ ] I'm carrying down chisik High Road oh my God yeah that I I genuinely like I'm sure as a child I shat myself many of times yeah okay well I have a story about you it's a near story but it is [ __ ] incredible so one of them was that you were at the theater with cat you tell it you tell it so so this was I think I'm I think I had food poisoning or something because don't make it sad de no no no because like basically okay so it was at um for those of you who remember the Riverside Theater amazing venue that's now [ __ ] fancy block of flats I think um and we went to go see salad days it was a play with my friend cat and a couple of other people and the way they' done this [ __ ] theater was like um the way they done the setup was almost like a gym Auditorium so like imagine like a kind of basketball Coury type thing it wasn't set up like a basket C but like the the stage was in the middle and then there was two like bleachers on either side and we were on the far side from the [ __ ] door and we'd had dinner and everything and I don't know if it was from that or from something from previously but basically we sat down they start their opening dance number and instantly I'm like I'm going to throw up or [ __ ] myself like I didn't know what was going to happen but I knew it was going to be [ __ ] bad but to get out of the theater I had to literally walk across the stage and there was no way of waiting for this dance number to be finished I had to [ __ ] go and they were it was like 50 style swing dance it's a bunch of [ __ ] like imagine the Westside Story the ball the you know the gym dance scene it was [ __ ] like that and there was no way of even like walking around the side either I literally had to go through this dance number very fast sweating crying oh and get to a bathroom and what happened in that bathroom was a [ __ ] on a holy but it was good that I just made that decision to [ __ ] cut across um I was in there the entire First Act and then went home at the interval crying because I thought I was going to like soil myself in some capacity in the taxi on the way home as well oh God do you know what's even oh it's it's such a nightmare scenario to be and when you're away from home CU you don't know that you're going to make it back without you're like yeah you're stuck there until there's like a safe window for you to try to get home you want to get home as quick as possible because you're feeling [ __ ] and you're [ __ ] everywhere you you want to get home as quick as possible but you also are afraid to do that because the the the journey home could be risky oh God do you know what I don't like about these stories is the panic and the shame the fear that we all know that like that scene from Dumb and dummer still sticks with me was it dum and Dumber or Dum and Dumber To You know where he like blocks the toilet and all sorts of yeah like we all know that [ __ ] Panic feeling right what's the other story oh there's one it's not quite as glorious as the first but there's something about almost [ __ ] yourself there's a it's like a panic like no other right it's a panic like no [ __ ] other and it could happen at any time that's a scary thing no I know I swear I live with this anxiety every day oh my God okay so you do have another one where you were presenting something for work you were literally in the middle of a talk or a presentation and had you not finished do you remember it was a few years ago yeah yeah I think I wrapped it up early because I was like everyone oh God you were standing up and talking to a crowd presenting something and I just thought that's the [ __ ] worst time what are you supposed to do excuse yourself you know you're I'll be back in five minutes what are you doing nothing nothing yeah it's what you know when you see why is this happening to me why did the I'm a good person first decide at that [ __ ] time that it had to get you yeah um right I thought I didn't have any stories but but it turns out I have a lot yeah H somehow I'm not sh I mean it's going to happen now because as soon as you say it's not happened it's gonna happen but somehow I've escaped lucky I've had so many near misses touchwood don't even believe in it but gonna I tell you [ __ ] who has a load of stories and she hasn't gotone back to me is Lynn we might do some retrospective on I mean it's like frequent all right so people's pulses bomb stories okay yeah let's do that yeah I think so I think so all right well that was [ __ ] entertaining you know what puking stories I think everyone's puked in front of other people from drinking no it has to it can't just be like oh I puked in the gutter or I puked in a toilet it has to be like yeah because I was gonna say everyone's puked in front of their friends or everyone's drunk too much and puked it has to be like I was standing I think this is a scene from in betweeners I was standing in front of the girl I liked and I puked right into her mouth while talking it has to be like that that is the level we expect we have standards otherwise it's a given isn't it you got drunky yeah well done no one's giving you a medal for that all right well that was a [ __ ] Ling get I mean how low can we go that's the challenge when it comes to people P do you know what I think I would think was quite funny but I don't know whether you're on board with it I would love to hear stories of being caught in the act oh no all right maybe we'll do that as a private patreon I'm gonna I my imagination is too good it's not like fiction books but as soon as somebody tells me a sex story I picture it I know but we're but it'll be left about what they're actually doing and more about like embarrassing times oh I it's so uncomfortable I know that's the joy and the beauty no it's the kind of discomfort that I no I don't like that one I'm gonna veto it all right okay fine Chief Executive Officer of the people's pulse yeah no fine fine fine fine all right well on that note everyone stay safe don't get murdered don't [ __ ] yourself and catch you next week M bye [Music] bye that