Hope Springs | FREE FULL MOVIE | Colin Firth | Minnie Driver | Heather Graham

[Music] [Music] [Music] watch the use and cut loose if you're living in the past one step forward and two step back where watch the the years lost you got I the and somehow you're get by yeah and somehow [Music] your you back back and go anywhere and you don't know the St your and you don't even [Music] care a man to look at the this go and look for and somehow you get yeah so hard to hold your head when it's spinning round and think about the life you how it's all turned upside down [Music] oh you know you know you can do it if you try life is never easy when you're really feeling down you drag your feet up Sun Street turn all around don't sing the s song it's a [ __ ] and then you die you got a go and look for and you get somehow you'll survive somehow you get you know you [Music] [Music] you you don't happen to know if these are designated in the same way as they are in the UK do you the way they're numbered according to lead size you don't know if the numbering system for pencils is universal we would have no way of knowing that no no well it it looks like it could be I think I'll assume it is your paper in uh in individual sheets or just in the pads what I'll hang on to those while you look around all right seem to be anything here about acid content usually says on the label whether it's acid free or not all paper in this country is acid free really that's how it goes I guess it's true what they say about how far ahead of the rest of the world you Americans are one you uh with an art group no just just on my own on some kind of personal tour then no but you're an artist right you're not a tourist Harold here is just tried to find out your purpose in being here my my purpose he won't be happy honey till you tell them why you're here well I've always wanted to visit your fine country I hope I have enough American money to pay for all this it's the only kind we accept $48 that's more than enough isn't it yeah okay sorry I I just need some uh colored pastels sleep for your Landscapes I don't do Landscapes just just portrait you come all the way from England in the fall with all our beautiful foliage to draw faces this comes to well look at that $48 exactly you wouldn't have to there was a good hotel in the area Johnny Fisher usually has rooms now her husband there there's a face that'll move you on to doing Landscapes Battlefield in straight up that street [Music] [Music] there you want to draw a portrait of Fisher well I was just told did his face look his face looks like roog ke bet you will ask him I can't wait there you go Mr we Room 11 one of our best it's it's up the stairs on the left Mr we do you have urgent business to attend to this morning why don't you just go to your room and get a few hours sleep just tell me what time you want to wake up and I'll hold all your calls how does that sound there won't be any calls I don't know anyone over here well maybe a call from England nobody in England knows I'm here oh God sorry I didn't know jetti could be like this I've never had my hair hurt before a Mr where I don't like to see one of our guests so gloomy why don't you help yourself to any of our local interest brochures there you might find something in there to pick you up give you a little memory or two to take back to England it's memories that I come here to forget memories of something or someone a woman an English woman Welsh half Welsh half Welsh and half monster no we are in a bad way that was a bloody point the point is Mr we you're our guest here and part of our job is to do everything in our power to be sure that our guests enjoy themselves and if that means Battlefield in one of them has to talk an ex-girlfriend out of their system joany fish is speaking and so be it oh hi Mandy how are you and I just have a small incident to attend to in the lobby a dog uh no no that's just one of our friends from England I'll call you right back myy so listen while you're asleep I'm going to call my friend myy back get her to come over she is a trained caregiver oh God no no I mean really this I it's M's wonderful with people Mr wear and she's a firsthand Authority on broken relationships she just love a psychological Challenge on this scale here we go I don't I need here we go Room 11 M wear yeah this will help you sleep I uh I don't take prescrition oh you do now swallow well now you okay to get yourself to bed now I'm going to go speak to fish about your suggestion and we'll see you later okay on some kind of personal tour draw faces I hope will you do something for me I don't want you to talk I just I want you to think I want you to think of the most peaceful place you have ever been and if you're willing to do that then then just nod you're the caregiver I want you to make it a place that's so beautiful and so peaceful that one day you'd like to go back there and stay a long long time well if you really think I don't want you to talk just just nod and why you're doing that I want you to make it a place that's beyond time and space itself are you doing that you're not doing that why not why not you can talk to tell me that oh sorry sorry what is that mean exactly Beyond time and space you don't know what Beyond time and space means no it's it's a concept of which don't worry about the concept just think of a beautiful peaceful place do you want to tell me what it is it's U it's a beach what kind of beach that's sort of a Sandy one where is the Sandy Beach can the what the Canary Islands and Vera and I got a cheap deal ver being the person that you came here to forget maybe it's better not to choose a place you went with her try thinking of of the most peaceful place that you've ever been without Vera well everywhere I've ever been I've been with Vera well there must be somewhere somewhere where Vera wasn't with you do you want to tell me where it is a room and are you at peace in this room is it a a quiet tranquil [Music] room do you want to stay there forever and ever and there's no Vera Colin there's no [Music] Vera sorry L not you've really helped but I actually think this is about as peaceful as I'm going to get for now okay well well I'll go but can I um can I just ask you a question um I mean most people when they go through a breakup they you know they go through a State of Shock and they get depressed and they want to be alone I know I did but they don't usually fly to the other side of the world you and ver must have been really close I was on that mailing list Mr and Mrs Keith Edwards request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of their daughter Vera Samantha to Mr Roger pelum did you know this Roger pum guy that's the first I've heard of him on my fiance's wedding invitation F was your fiance I could see why you'd want to leave London but why would you come here I mean it's not of my business no not at all person has a right to know why someone's in their town you seem to here anyway no no I should go it was the name really maybe I got you wrong maybe instead of um an emotional Voyage what you need is a bodily one maybe instead of um asking you to imagine a beautiful place I should take you there physically have you ever heard of our Spring Gardens well um I'm free right now and I can take you on my my car's right outside but um only if you want to that's very kind but uh I think I'm meeting up with Mr Fisher shortly you know it's the guys that don't think they need help that need help the most you put me in the category well guy flew to another country just to cry in a motel room in a town that he only chose cuz it's called hope yeah I put you in that category what about tomorrow cool cool you pick me up at about 10:00 sure Splendid [Music] Splendid how do loc you have a naturally dramatic face Mr Fisher hopefully if this works works out be able to emphasize that quality even more dramatic e now is uh is that a position that you can hold for 30 minutes or so I could do that just like to put your hands comfortly on your lap once you finish your uh are we allowed to talk uh yeah y we can talk so calmly um Mandy told Joanie who told Tina the cleaner who told me what happened over there in your homeand sorry would you mind just Ty sorry yeah maybe not quite that much you know what if you um if you just keep your eyes on a fixed point then sometimes that way you stay still well listen my friend once a pain wears off I'm telling you you'll be a far better and stronger man than if it never happened at all it never does we off I'm sure it does that's a one good thing about pain where's off you know I was having a think earlier about 6 months ago she she took up yoga she joined a local club and uh it made her happy I remember thinking at the time how can yoga make anyone that happy and she was never happier than when the Swami started them on partner exercises Swami mhm yeah the Swami he he'd pair them off and they'd all be sitting on the floor back to back with locked arms and they'd pull against each other and chant things Chad oh boy and I was just I was just thinking maybe that was it you know when they were all all paired off and and uh and and and and that was the moment you know when I maybe I lost her you know cuz cuz maybe I don't know maybe maybe the guy that she was paired off with was this this Roger pelum Colin would you like a cup of tea or something oh no no I'm fine thanks F no I I can't turn my head right now jie I I I have to talk to you later should that shadow be coming down over fish's mouth like that it's traumatic johie Fisher has such fine lips I I hope they'll show no no they they'll be shown to full effect Mrs Fisher just seem as we lose that mayonnaise I think it's okay to call me Joanie now Joanie let the man work so Roger P well that was it really I mean I I was just thinking back to all those times when I picked her up and I'd be sitting there in the car outside waiting for her to come out of the yoga clut and just watching them come out and just trying to remember what they will look like because well I mean one of the men I used to see would have been would have been um do they have a kind of a glazed expression could could could they be described as uh transfixed see see from what you're saying you know delirium and swamis and chants and you know Glazed Expressions and things I hate to say it my friend but I think you have gone and lost your good woman to a cult jie col all you have any business thinking about at this point is moving on now maybe folks over in England sit around chewing on the past but over here that ain't done much [Music] wooo [Music] woohoo 1 million like years we home brought up feeling small where of NYC andity yeah but you got to laugh cuz something that I can do without and it's in your [Music] hand a and before you get out can I just say something of course excuse me I just need a little do you want some uh not this morning thanks you you're going to have to drive us back you can drive right uh well on the left I can but I'm I'm not very uh over at The Shining Shores I I really feel like I'm helping people a lot of people never get that feeling but shining Shores it's the rest home where I work and live God when I was in high school the things we used to do in there non Botanical things non Botanical things what hello je I'm just wondering if this really is the best time for us to be kind of take this in you know if I was back in high school I would just thrown this out the street I wouldn't have care like somebody walking over broken glass like who gives a [ __ ] but I'm not like that now now I'm responsible mature and boring I'm sorry it's you that's supposed to be getting a therapy from this uh listen Mandy I think if if I drive very very slowly we might stand a small chance of getting back to the motel alive I'm really sorry about this that's okay yeah I was just nervous are we going back to your room sorry I mean I need some coffee all right yes of course are we like hardly moving here I think you're fine we're [Music] moving I know you'll be scar no no [Music] no wow did you do these it's Fisher that's incredible he looks almost I like handsome she's beautiful who's that oh sorry I decided last night I'm going to put together an exhibition portraits of people here in this town but it might take my mind off things well I know every face in town so if you need a face finder I'm your man I'm sure you got better things to do with your time than to go around looking for faces for me anyway coffee are you happy Colin generally speaking yes why are you happy oh I don't know it's probably because we're not both being scraped off the front of a truck little things like that tend to cheer me up no coffee for me thanks can I ask you a question cuz you seem like the kind of person that you wouldn't get mad at me no matter what I said no matter what I did you wouldn't would you well it depends I'm going to do something that I've never done before ever in my whole life I'm going to close the curtains never un your blouse before not for this reason I've taken off my clothes for other reasons obviously but not for this one this one this one being what exactly when I was really little and whenever I got really happy I just get this uncontrollable desire just to take off all my clothes clothes and when I was really little I was happy a lot obviously so I would just take them off anywhere and people would be shocked and and i' get in trouble it's funny but um with you I don't even feel self-conscious well that's good I mean this is the first time I've ever taken off my clothes for joyfulness with someone else in the room and it's wonderful cuz when you go off by yourself and you take off your clothes in private you know you might be expressing your joy but you always knew that you had to go off by yourself to do it so um the joy is never quite complete incomplete Joy try yourself if you want it feels wonderful it has nothing to do with sex if that's what you're thinking no I wasn't I mean most men would think that it did but I can tell you're someone who can accept it for what it is and that's why I feel comfortable enough to do it with you but go on it feels wonderful well I might I might just try taking some of them off not some of them all of them I just I'm just not sure I'm quite as joyful as you are yet well you will be once they're off I mean I bet you've had sex with your clothes on before if I have it was it was a long time ago well there you go you see two people with their clothes off aren't going to have sex anymore than two people with their clothes on would not have sex I think people their clothes off probably have it more often I don't if there' been any surveys well that might be true true but that's not the point although um it kind of does seem like we might does it seem that way to you I feel like it could go either way well if it does go that way maybe we should put our clothes back on back home to have sex because that way we wouldn't risk spoiling the feeling of Joy we're feeling right now the innocent kind of Joy why take the chance of spoiling that would we take would we would we take them back off again afterwards what I'm just asking but if if if after we had sex I that's it went would we take our clothes back off afterward this don't you wear underwear oh I left him in a hurry I couldn't find I don't know about you but I'm starting to feel kind of cold I guess Joanie and Fisher are trying to save on the heating what are you doing I have no idea I I think I'm just sort of stuck between the the innocent joy and the other kind it's a very strange sensation come in the bed Colin it's okay maybe that would help now we're definitely moving towards the non-innocent kind now aren't we that's the thing about the innocent kind you never know when it's going to come home you never know when it's going to go like like right now it's totally gone so shouldn't I be keeping my shirt on I think you're making all this much more complicated than it needs to be actually it's all just clicked into place we don't have to talk about it anymore no the whole concept just became crystal clear sorry I I think there's one part of me that still finds this all a bit complicated it's probably just the first date thing you don't have sex on first dates I don't have First Dates [Music] [Music] I'm not in love so don't forget it it's just some silly pH that I'm going [Music] through and just because I call you up hey don't get me wrong don't think that you got it made I'm not in love no no it's just [Music] because I'd like to see you but then [Music] again that doesn't mean you mean that much to [Music] me so if I call you don't make no [Music] fuss don't tell your friends about the two of us I'm not in love no no oh it's just [Music] [Music] [Music] because [Music] I keep your picture upon my wall [Music] n so don't you ask me to give it [Music] back you you know it doesn't mean that much to me I'm not in love no no it's just [Music] because ooh you wait a long time for me ooh you wait a long time for me some out of Big Boys Don't Cry o you wait a long time for [Music] me ooh you wait a long time for me what's the matter big boys don't I'm not in so just forget it it's just a silly pH that I'm going through it's [Music] W are getting caught in the [Music] rain look Johnny my dear old dad where T talk to into his pants all the time people nowadays is that Colin wear renowned British Artist come on in Colin Webster this is Colin show him don't say anything let him form his own opinion come on be brave tell us what you think Colin well it's the cannon right oh I don't know you tell us you tell us looks uh looks just fine to you does it well it's maybe just a little more flesh colored than the original that's okay we can fix the color he's English he's too polite to say it but he's thinking it look at it col what does it look like Doug no one wears a tie tucked in like this now look Mr wear in your opinion does the cannon on this tie in any way resemble a what do they call them over there OG I don't know you ask him a penis a penis a big huge penis thank you thank you jury spoken take a chair where now listen to me go back and have your people come up with another concept not a goddamn viaga commercial thanks excuse me God it is Hell being a Visionary where have you been able to try any of our our spring water now now this spring water comes from deeper in the earth than your other spring water so it's older water now might not think you want older water sounds like maybe I do oh yes old is good Colin old is good so says my minerology expert and I do not keep Rockman Ray on the payroll just to yank my chain good don't you think it's a very nice fresh taste a very nice old fresh taste you can taste the old can't you can Statewide marketing begins next month you know we wanted to call it H2 hope but we're having a hard time getting it cleared Hope Springs Eternal is the working title right now pretty good don't you think so you have come all the way over here from the land of 007 to uh throw some pictures of our local people for some sort of exhibition you what you got a name yet sorry for the show name of the show images images of Hope birthplace of American art that's got a nice ring to it yeah but how's hope the birthplace of American art oh come on don't be silly I'm just trying to help don't be that that way so am I good but what sitting right here on natural uh yeah you're fine right about there yeah how about that right there yeah here we go right about there is that good right there that's F how's that put the hands up here not too stuffy too stuffy just like this here we go hands down here hands there this fun what you you just use pencils charcoal yeah well oh that's right you do all the the coloring in in at a later juncture sorry I moved I moved sorry uh no I I don't paint you don't Paint Young Miss Morton led me to believe I was I was sitting for a portrait you are a pencil portrait could you stop please Mr wear thank you uh look Colin every day for the last 3 years I've had to sit here and stare across that monstrosity it's our heritage they say you can't take down a painting of the most important man in this town's history they say I say the most important man in our Town's history is sitting right here tearing up with that jerk who is that some Welsh dick Welsh yeah the guy who founded this place somebody Edwards Edwards yeah Doug Reed yeah look Brad this is all I'm saying it's the Cannonball next week and we don't have any goddamn merchandise look anything keychain replicas Canon toothbrush holders for the kitties come on hey how about Canon styled musical toilet seats that play bridge over trouble water when you take a dump figure it out Brad get to work uh this journal what of 174 one yeah what about it well it's just it's it's this this paper you can uh you can tell by the grain that it's it's cont I mean it's a fake it's uh quite a good fake actually but uh it uh it just seems to been done on some sort of um computer program yep maybe or possibly just some sort of uh computer program my computer program you have software that produces fake documents naughty mayor naughty naughty mayor so listen Picaso you going to do me a grown-up painting or not because if you could I'm telling you friend I'll give you the freedom of the town the key to the city you name your pleasure I cannot tell you what it would mean to me to have a proper portrait up there of Doug Reed the man who gave us hope and instead of that [Music] [Applause] [Music] [ __ ] hello I'm looking for a friend of mine I was wondering if you might be staying here the name of where where where where you say yes Colin where let me just look and see if um if we have anyone here by that name at the end or not where where where where Room 11 the English guy's in room 11 Room 11 thanks uh he went out sorry he went out early this morning I thought you didn't know who he was I remember him now the Artis fella right now he he went out at the cracka with all his Artis fella things well he's back he wouldn't let me in his room to clean all right thank you again for that Tina you must sign the visitor's book sorry well all guests must sign the visitor's book okay okay where is it where's what the visitor's book Tina what did you do with the visitor's book we got a visitor's book see what the hell should we just forget the formalities on this occasion morning Colin I know I don't exactly deserve the red carpet treatment but after 5,000 miles and 20 Hotel reception desks I do think that the least you could do is invite me in away from the stairs of the very eccentric management here how did you know I was here be I spoke to Jeremy at the gallery he told me how excited he was about this exhibition he's planning for the new year of drawings that you've been doing in America in a place called hope wow you see he has every reason to be aren't you on your honeymoon no this isn't going to be smooth Colin there's no use pretending that anything either of us can say will make this anything other than the most awkward moment we've ever had no ashr what a surprise look I think we should do what you always say we should do which is rise above our emotions with maturity okay good [ __ ] wedding was it look I have nothing to say in my defense nothing nothing I did a terrible thing but a terrible thing this is no smoking room Colin I've come halfway across the world to explain and you won't let me have a cigarette explain there's no Roger P H there is no Roger pelum oh god oh Colin I was just so sick of dropping hints and you failing to spot them as only you could oh God we have been engaged forever I just wanted to jolt you into action I misjudged it I made a mistake the invitation was a joke well no it wasn't a joke it was just a bigger hint the last few weeks have been a nightmare Colin I've been at my wit Ence since she disappeared day after day without a word I mean I literally went to pie of I went to Pieces was calling everyone all day all night when Jeremy finally told me that you were right I can't tell you the relief I just wept solidly for 10 minutes 10 I'm touched you know the only thing that held me together was that knowing when this was over you and I would sit down and have a really good life about it because that's what we always do now the thing is call please just go go please but I can't tell you how much where are you Underpants you're not wearing any Underpants well as you can imagine I was a tad preoccupied when I was leaving the flat are you going out for a walk I know how you like to go for a walk when you want to think no last thing I want to do right now ver is think well if you have to go out I shall just wait here don't wait Colin Colin Colin what what's this that's a machine for drying hair Vera it's called a hair dryer yes I know what it is Colin but you don't use one is this Supply by the motel is there one like this in every room Colin can't you answer a simple question a simple one I could just not that one what it was a joke she's not married she's still single and she's here it hasn't affected our relationship in any way everything is exactly as it was she just came out to apologize that's all she's going to turn straight around and go back home again oh was she allergic to the telephone I'm sorry had you not planned on having sleeping people in your exhibition he's just asleep isn't it yeah like I bring you all the way down here to draw a dead person so are you just going to forgive her I mean how could you forgive someone after they did something like that to you it's the only way forgive and forget and do your forgiving while you can cuz when you get to my age all you can get to do is the um the um the the forgetting yeah that's it the forgetting my darling Vera darling dear ver ver I know as well as you do that the cruel joke you played on me was wholly out of character and although it hurt me Beyond description I write you now firstly to thank you for coming all this way to apologize but more importantly to tell you to haul your bony ass all the way back again more importantly to tell you that I forgive you for it 100% as a result of your actions though both our lives have now taken on a new Direction any attempt to resume our physical relationship would I believe cheapen the new plateau of mutual affection that has been born out of this crisis your journey here was much appreciated but too much damage has been done for our romance to survive we wish you a very pleasant return flight wa goodbye Vera your friend Colin [Music] what is it I don't know just never seems to work out my phone never you falling what what time do you have to be at work soon not that soon [Music] are you looking forward to that you can get all dressed up no it's not as much fun getting dressed up when you can't do it yourself well when I'm through with you you're going to look better than the queen of Hope herself ready yes woohoo can I just say something before we start I don't know if if Manny mentioned but I'm pretty heavily into the Lord and I was just wondering you know if you could just sort of convey a sort of a a feeling of of of inner happiness something like that like like an inner light because there's two things I want to come through in in in the picture one that that I'm a swimmer but but to that I'm also a Christian and you sure you'll be all right just uh standing there yeah like I say Sir God bless me with fabulous circulation look my goggles are they straight oh they're just perfect and Rob please don't call me sir Mandy told me about what that fiance of yours over there in England did to you she's in town right uh no she's just gone home now Satan's amazing isn't he I mean one minute you're going along leading this ordinary life everything's normal and mo Satan just creeps up behind you and sucks you into a cult yeah Rob um I'm just doing your mouth now so would you mind just um just keeping it Clos for a minute [Music] God come on [Music] granny how could anyone do that what you're Vera right how could anyone do something that mean and you are Mandy um the mean thing I did I assume that you're referring to the game I played on Colin W yeah good well now I've established your name and what you're talking about could we also establish whether you have a red hair dryer what you know a cheap plastic red portable hair dryer do you have one yes she does do you smoke Mandy no not since high school how very healthy did you go to school around here then Hope High or something hope Regional Regional yeah it's over there you can't see it from here you seem like a nice person not really she's an a Angel sure Colin wouldn't spend time with anyone who wasn't nice well I'm sure you're very nice too yes I'm sure that you and me and Colin are all totally delightful people I do feel it a slight disadvantage though knowing nothing more about you other than the direction of your old school and the color of your hair dryer I presumably you know rather more about me Colin must have talked about me we mostly talk about other things really like what like the normal things that normal people talk about what like the weather we've talked about the weather what sort of day it is that kind of thing whether it's warm or cold yeah or windy or raining even or snowing has it been snowing here no not yet oh I see you were just rehearsing for a future conversation aren't you holding up traffic Parts here is this way work whining hes shining Shores oh right oh come on Mandy surely he must have said something about his life back in England barely anything so you don't know about about what the um operation what operation has col not mentioned his father presumably Mandy Colin hasn't told you because he is blocking it out that's why he's staying up here living in some sort of dream world drawing away beautiful scenery beautiful company meanwhile back on planet England doctors and hospitals and constant worry and a very very sick father it's why I'm still here someone has to bring him back to his senses you know back to his responsibilities back home the truth is the longer he stays hiding away from it all the less likely he is to ever see his dad again you're very nice I'm sure but you're not exactly helping I'm sorry if that came out so you couldn't do me a favor could you just a little one I don't want you to feel like an errand girl so I used to be safe you'd rather not but I was going to drop these off myself CU you're probably going over there anyway you sure you don't mind was just the other morning I noticed he didn't put any on be great if you could give them to him I'll see you Mandy [Music] hello all it's [Music] me it's Colin what do you want you asked me over [Music] uh you going to come in or are you just going to stand there with the door open it's my apartment I can stand where I want in my apartment I've never seen one of these poor mind I sit if you have to suppose uh the idea is you just you sort of lower yourself don't be an idiot Colin I'm sure you sat in one of those before um and Andy I've done many disreputable things in my life but telling lies about sitting in butf Chas is lower than even I would go having said that I think this is probably about the LST I've ever been these are for you that's very nice you thank you very much very thoughtful well don't thank me thank Vera bumped into Vera yesterday and she said that you needed those cuz she said she saw you without them no no no no that that was just when she first arrived I I I've been in the shower Colin you've been cheating on me and worse you've been using me Christ what has that woman been telling you I thought we had something really special we do but you never mentioned once the things that matter to you I mean do you know how much that hurts me to realize like how little that I mean to you I mean I look back on it and it was all just a way for you to take your mind off of what was going on in England and and what is going on in England what your father's surgery be told you about my father's operation she tell you what it's for she couldn't bring herself to go into much detail no no that's understandable should I tell you no it's too late no I want to tell you started last year with my parents were moving house they hired a removals company to uh you to ship most of the Furniture beds sofas and so forth but some of the smaller stuff you know the odd chair paintings they they move themselves and my father was carrying this chair up the stairs in the new house when uh it's okay no it was a it was a very big heavy wooden chair and uh you don't have to tell me no no it's all right it helps to talk about as he was going up the stairs at his chair he dropped it and it landed on his foot it was all forgotten about until a few weeks later when suddenly his big toe started kind of curling in and for months my mother tried to get him to see somebody about it until finally As a treat on her birthday he did and do you know what the shocking diagnosis was Mandy INR toenail naturally we were all devastated as Sur Faris his chances of recovery con I think they're pretty good there somebody else who shall remain nameless whose chances of survived are just plummeted to zero perhaps you can understand that why I kept it from you for so long hello hi Mand is there with you yeah he is Edward on the line okay put her through it's your friend hello V have a good flight back I need to talk to you okay I mean face to face well I'm going to be back in England till no I'm still here in home I'm not going back until you come back with me what meet me tomorrow at the golf course 3:00 oh great yeah great well say hello to everybody uh back there and uh what what's the weather like over there good and I'll do it okay by bye then so you like butterflies then well that's easy I'm not going back until you come back with [Music] me Vera why are you still here and why are we meeting on a golf course cuz I I can't possibly have this conversation without having a cigarette and this is apparently the only place in the entire United States where I can smoke you got your nickas all right then oh yes thank you very much yes I did and you got my facts did you yes thank you I was very touched just not quite touched enough to do anything about it I presume your friend told you about the little chat we had the other day oh yes that would be the one about uh our continuing sex life my father's life threatening operation be will you just light that cigarette so we can get whatever this is over with she seems like a very sweet person Mandy she's so vivacious and bubbly and fun oh right so you think she's stupid I can see how you might be Charmed by her childlike spiritual innocence by the way is it Mandy with a y or Mandy with an i with a little circle above it no ver let me just tell you something if you're going to tell me that she's menant of material I'm going to have to go and get more cigarettes is that her long-term career washing old people's bottoms be which is better washing old people's bottoms or choosing for your vacuous fashion magazine um can I get back to you on that one oh you know what I've had enough I'm off oh Colin Colin wait wait wait don't go come back ver would you just kindly tell me what you brought me out here to say I love you I want you to stop this nonsense and come back home what is that called a cigarette it's defitely closer and you die you can't smoke here no apparently you can my PR read it in the rule fiance as long as it doesn't bother other ex fiance you obviously didn't read the other rule for example the one that says when you're on the golf course you play golf and you don't seem to be playing golf you have no clubs they would deemed too dangerous the rules clearly State look my friend and I F would just needed to have a private talk together now we have some deep-seated personal problems quite by chance we find ourselves here on this beautiful course as we try to work through some of these difficult issues and of course you're absolutely right Colin calm down this is not the place to try to come to grips with private matters and if our delicate discussions have impacted negatively on your enjoyment of the third hole then I apologize my hysterical ex fiance here is just on a way to the airport and I'm sure your enjoyment of the rest of the course will be exactly as it should be have a pleasant flight [Music] Colin it's just the mid last crisis we'll get over it I hope this one's better than the last one Martha it looked really good last time not talking about my hair I'm talking about your boyfriend what do you know about the last one I could tell from the start it wasn't going to work you approached it in completely the wrong way you never even met him I'm talking about my hair mandate do keep up anyway you never know this may be your last chance Martha you're not going anywhere I know I'm not but he may be [Music] thank you you're welcome thanks you ever think about my going back to England no no I have a few other things going on in my life besides you you know I think about going back well you have to you have to make reservation and stuff I don't want to go back why not why do you think you like America yes it's not the reason there something else are delicious hamburgers no no it's not not hamburger our humble friendly ways not the humble friendly ways why you br up all this [ __ ] just to torture me I'm bringing it up because I don't want to go back alone you want someone to go with you well yes but only if they want to come I didn't plan to tie them up and kidnap them I mean I would but the lines you got rather strict on hand luggage lately well if Force wasn't an issue and and the person wanted to come of their own free will youd want them to go with you if they weren't too busy with all the many other things in their hectic life yes well I'm sure that uh they tried really hard they could find some time to fit you in their schedule oh really [Music] what's up see the woman by the pool Jesus what does she think she's doing no not the cigarettes Fisher that's Farah she's back again looking for Colin it's really not of our business fishop even you must have noticed that Ang American relations are reaching an all-time high over there room 11 right I heard the headboard yes Joy so when Mandy comes toodling back to Colin's room with this week's groceries and when there's blood in the pool and when there's yellow police tape wrapped around the entire motel and when we're on the front page of the Hope Herald maybe then you might think it's some of our business just go get rid of her I'm afraid this is a no smoking area what America I I'm Fisher the uh co-manager oh does it take more than one person to run this place so uh you're uh here in America on your own then excuse me you uh didn't come here with someone else no I came on my own I'll take your word for it sorry if you say so well who else I don't know who who knows who else you might have brought along I mean a certain uh Swami maybe who knows uh I'm afraid you're going to have to vacate this uh area we've had trouble with your kind before what besides uh we we have a maple syrup convention coming in here at 3 so immediately please well you can tell him I'll keep coming around until he sees me was very nice you to come over like I had an option look Vera this has got to stop you shouldn't be here in America and I shouldn't be here in your room I feel like I'm being stalked I'll be boiling rabbits next con can we please just stop playing games just get back to the way we were let's just get in my car and drive to New York and jump on the first plane back to London let's just go home we've just become so stale Vera you know being with Mandy's taught me something you learned something from Mandy we haven't been like lovers for years you and I we've been like brother and sister we're more than just a couple we're yeah an institution exactly inextricably linked like I no marks and Spencer or bacon and eggs or foot and bloody mouth we just been treading water for years ver and it's it's no good you know we can't Life's too short for that and I'm not saying I never want to see you again i' I'd hate to think you know that you know that this in your facts about the new plateau of mutual affection that we found exactly exactly we can stay friends that mustn't be cheap it precisely oh God I want to cheapen it I mean really cheapen it be no this this is not on it's not on it's not I promise you you you'll find something in your life just like I found in mine something something exciting and like Venice you remember Venice col V I can't be any clearer on where we stand now I'm not leaving until no no I'm leaving I'm leaving very soon when did you buy this there Fair honestly no I'm I'm totally unshakable on this I can feel your resolve stiffening well Vera this seems to be exactly the right sort of spectacularly memorable moment in which to finally say goodbye no Colin don't bye V I'm not done no [Music] [Music] hi so you not here yet the Vic no he's not here there's no portrait I just wanted to talk to you in church yeah well I figured it's the only place we wouldn't end up having sex have you talked to Vera lately Vera what Oh you mean since the phone call uh uh because I think I must be having a problem with my ears and my eyes sorry well when you talked to her on the phone didn't you ask her what the weather was like in London yes okay good well then my ears are okay but that must mean my eye problems really serious cuz last night I was driving past the Ivy and there was this big commotion all these fire engines and people and everything and maybe it's the early stages of myopia but I could have sworn that I saw Vera there but that can't be possible cuz she was back in England giving you the weather report and I thought I saw you too and it looked like you both had your tongue down each other's throats but that can't be right either because a according to you that relationship is over and and I'm the only one for you but the really bad part the part that makes me think I should just run to the eye doctor right away is that it looked to me like she was totally butt naked she had underwar oh good well then there's nothing for me to worry about I'm sorry M I should have told you I just can't shake her off I went there specifically just to tell her once and for all that it was all over she set the fire alarm on sex was that good no Mandy there was no sex that was just in you were just telling her how it was all over and then suddenly she just took her clothes off and the fire alarm went off actually that's pretty much exactly how it happened yeah we'll have a good trip back Colin do you have a passport no well you think one might come in handy one day I don't want one okay what would it take just to make you apply for one what part of I don't want one don't you understand Welling a [Applause] passport I love you Mandy there is one thing one thing what if you promise that you'll never come here again and that you'll never call me or write me or try to see me ever then I'll go to the town hall and if it seems so important to you I'll get a passport do you understand what I just said that you'll only get a passport if we never see each other again okay goodbye Colin uh Mandy but if we never see each other talk to each other again how I know you sent for AOSP we to trust me well goodbye for everything don't try to make a joke out of it but just plain goodbye [Music] them [Music] so these be for your images of Hope exhibition right oh we like that didn't we Harold birthplace of American art and how's young Mandy oh but you wen't seen much of her since that fiance of yours came to town setting off the hotel sprinklers tell me you wouldn't have to know what color underwear I have on today would you just in case you needed to spread the word around word is you don't wear no underwear [Music] is uncanny funny and serious all at once Brash with just a hint of impishness pulsating with youth energy while at the same time exuding a passionate sense of of civic pride Doug you did say something didn't you about the key to the city and all that anything I want anything anything you want Doug Reed's word is his bond you just ask and you shall have it true judge of human nature that I am I sense we're about to have revealed here the Dark Side of Mr Colin wear H thanks for meeting you car I really do have something I have to show you you w't believe what happened this morning Doug called me into his office Doug Doug Reed the mayor you told him all about me oh yes right sorry yes I think I did mention you in passing yes well I think it was more than just in passing Colin because he knew my name was Edwards he knew that I'm half Welsh and he knew I was here which is why he was so very excited show you this this is my family tree going back 300 years wow Doug found this website in Salt Lake city that has the genealogy of everybody in the world you just type your credit card details and up comes your family tree it's amazing look you won't believe this here this is what okay here I am Vera Edwards and there is Alysia and then there's my dad and there's the person he married your mother right and there's Grandma Edwards that's her maiden name in Brackets except they've spelled it wrong they haven't yes they have hav they hav it's cand one then you get up here s it gets good here is Godwin Edwards and his wife again do you know who those two people are from they're everywhere look Godwin Edwards and Abigail Edwards the people that founded hope are my ancestors good Heavens I know it's just amazing I just couldn't I couldn't believe it it's amazing but I tell you that's just the start more oh yes well okay you know there's this annual cannon ball thing that happens on Saturday well apparently that's when they choose the new queen of Hope queen of Hope Doug chooses the person who's going to represent the town as its queen and I mean this is the ridiculous thing he thinks because of my family history that you know I should apply to be Queen I know it's Preposterous isn't it I mean it's absurd even for me Isn't it is it well I don't know you see I mean is it something I should really contemplate doing well I don't know what does uh what does being queen of Hope involve well just a week of Engagement and things like that and actually they want the queen to promote the new mineral water this year he wants to build a whole ad campaign around it you know TV spots and public appearances everywhere and her picture on the label and so presumably you'd have a crown oh there's a whole special outfit he showed me lots of old photographs of lots of old queens a former incumbent Comm look I know that you and I having major differences right now but I I could really use your advice on this I can't do this I can't go on with this go on with what this this it's a joke it's all a joke here a joke this is just it's a fake I made it up well the family tree thing anyway the the queen thing was a Doug Reed embellishment yeah I just I was so pissed off with you ver I was so pissed off with all your your tricks and the way you've been buggering things up that is so bloody typical of you you have never ever been able to share in my excitement about anything not ever it's a fake ver it is not a fake it's a fake ver look Kendall even spelled wrong the way I spell it wrong I watched him do it I watched Doug log on I watched him type in my details I watched this thing be printed out it's not a fake Colin I saw it with my own eyes of course he did because he loaded it all up in advance I saw him with my own eyes I me if he looked closely Vera Tom Jones is in there Jones is a very common Welsh name Colin yes been married to a cathine Zeta bet you and Mandy have been having a right giggle about this haven't you we're not together anymore really really it's all over you're still not coming home with me though are you no sorry ma'am there's no smoking are you two finished you know I do believe we are I'll be right back with you check then what are you going to do now then be queen of [Music] Hope [Music] Colin wear two words two words I have for you Colin wear Class [Music] Act I know that history is witnessed a long line of lunacy from your small island Shores Colin but for a man of your apparent intelligence to willingly relinquish from his emotional grasp that shimmering angel of sensual splend you seem very smitten D you're taking off you you're not going to hang around for the the biggest bang of the Year well not the biggest bang of your year from what I understand um well it's been very very nice to meet you thank you thank you for everything no thank you Colin thank you thanks to you that terrible wondrous thing that poets have sung about down Through the Ages has finally found its way into the Lonely Heart of Douglas Elma re and now please welcome mayor dark re thank you thank you very much and now as is our great and CH tradition we get the annual cannon ball rolling with the introduction of the new queen of [Applause] Hope help me welcome raise your glasses for the new queen of Hope Miss Vera Edwards [Applause] [Music] w W man the bones [Music] fish [Music] look I got this bags from Colin from the airport is it for me for you NY come on when you make a guy promise never to get in touch they can sometimes make the wild assumption that you don't want them ever to get in touch guys can be that DB no sorry honey but um did Colin ever mention cousin chz over in Ohio Colin went and arranged for this guy to visit then forgot to cancel it before he flew off and he he expects me asking me if I would meet this guy at the gardens where they had arranged to meet I mean like now and I've got to set up the barbecue at the end and the rooms need doing and so you want me to go a free fet oisha [Music] tonight excuse me are you Mandy you must be chz yes that's right please to meet you I guess you got to know my cousin Colin pretty well when he was up here he's an odd chat didn't you f he's very odd Colin told me he promised never to contact you something about a passport didn't seem to think it'd be breaking the rules if I spoke to you you didn't warn me about your bizarre dress sensor you want to sit down for a me Colin tell you about my hobby you know Colin at first this chassic stuff was really funny but now it's just irritating he didn't tell you about my hobby no chz what is your hobby I collect jewelry can I show you an example there's a thing I picked up in a store in Columbus the other day it's just a little gold ring with a thing thing on it I think it's a moth is this a friendship ring or something well the chap in the store said that it was an engagement ring which surprised me because I always thought engagement rings were supposed to be silverish with a diamond or something but no apparently they can be pretty well anywh you want them there's only one slightly disappointing thing though when I was on the bus coming up here took ited out to have a look at it and that's when I noticed it second hat if you look underneath there's a little heart two names presum me the previous owners it's very very small you can just about make them out I forget the names you should take this out Mandy can you speak oh I'm sorry uh you can put me down now uh no I want to carry you no no really I want to I I can walk I want to carry you I want to walk Mandy I'm experiencing an atavistic urge right now to carry you okay so where did you leave the car at home why where are we going well I checked back in at the end oh you can't carry me all the way back to the end Mandy please don't interfere my manhood is crying out to meet this supreme [Music] challenge good afternoon Mrs Peterson Mr Peterson just keeping you up to date on [Music] things sorry if this seems a bit primitive primitive is fine but don't throw your back at okay I have a back of iron all you ever do is break me down making me fo on over town they wonder why I honey all you do is bring me down that's honey all you I must be getting too heavy now we're building a memory here I love you I've been waiting on you girl be by my [Music] side you out [Music] [Music] somewhere hey f I've been sit around here all day long [Music] you [Music] all are engaged are you serious I just did well why was he carrying her down the highway there's a custom over there what where Colin comes from it's a custom to carry people down the highway highway roadway whatever it comes from an ancient Druid ritual Janie apparently they carry their intended down a long path as a symbolic way of embarking upon the life ahead of them well I guess it's just true what they say about how far behind the rest of the world the English sh non innocent time non innocent Time Lord only knows what they get up [Music] [Music] to [Music] I love it when we do we do when we do I love it when we do we do when we do do we [Applause] do yeah when you're around the Sun is always shining since we met I haven't well stop smiling yeah the love I feel for you is almost blind yeah running up and down the street hugging everyone I meet now you love me laugh is sweet when I got you in my arms cing up the fire arms yeah I love it when we do what we do cuz we do what we do till it's done I love the way we do what we do cuz we do what we do and it's fun you're the one you're around my eyes don't ever [Applause] W and no one else I've ever been more [Music] fer so let it go you break the spell [Music] I'm when I look into your eyes I don't have to find a size you're a dream that's real light dancing on the moonight if life is cool then sun light yeah I love it when we do what we do cuz we do what we do till it's done I love the way we do what we do cuz we do what we do and it's fun you're the one I dig it when we kiss and we hug and you C it in I love when you and me turn into US it makes me cry it makes me love you and we do what we do what we do what we do what we do what we do we I love it when we do what we do cuz we do what we do till it's done I love the way we do what we do CU we do what we do and it's F you're the one I tell you when we kiss we love I love it when we [Music] do