AnchorMoms: Push Notification Onslaught, "Venmo moms" and the surprising things kids notice

[Music] from The Newsroom to the nursery we're juggling a demanding career on live TV with the demands of motherhood I'm Katie and I'm Karen they are anchor moms hey guys welcome to another episode of anchor moms the podcast um I think a lot of us are back to school right a lot of folks are back to school most people are but by the time recording drops a lot of us will be back to school right Labor Day Has Come and come and gone um River went back to school just this week she had her first official day yesterday it went so good and I never I mean I I never know what to I mean much like most parents I never know what to expect um she was jazzed you know kindergarten it's like we're in a whole like river is she's in grade but she for some reason thinks that she's like the queen of the school yes like the big dog which I'm like oh okay I mean all right you know um so she's excited to like Lord that over the kindergarteners and uh in fact last night she got out of the bath and she was like Mom first grade is so awesome and I was like Yay what more could you ask for right now talk to me in like a week this the next time we record I'm sure the homework starts once the homework starts I'm sure things will um you know there'll be some bumps in the road but right now we're feeling good our um uh the day we're recording this year my big kids have not yet started school um that's coming in a couple days but Sam went back to preschool he was you know home over the summer since the other kids were all home and we had to have a nanny uh and he went back and uh he was jazzed to go back he I did see Sam I got to be honest I saw Sam the day before he went back to school and he was like like can't wait to see my friends yeah like which I thought was pretty good for a 2-year-old to be able to communicate that like to understand that he was like yep excited pumped and I was like okay so he was good to go I however this is hilarious I so I'm like oh okay Sam's back I'm like got to pack the lunch get out the book bag again it's been like tucked away all summer all the things got like the new packet from the preschool okay what do we need to remember uh I didn't remember any of it we we Sam was great I was like in la la land we go and it's you know he's like bumped up to the next age group class right and so we knew the teacher already um from from uh you know last year but uh we go in and and she's like oh s did you bring your lunch he's like yep here's my Spider-Man lunch box I'm ready to go and she like turns to me and I'm like shoot I forgot his blanket for nap time oh and she was like oh she's like okay well that's okay we've got extras like we'll let him borrow one for today I'm like okay and then she looks at me and she's like uh diapers I'm like oh nope didn't bring a single diaper nope didn't even think of that she was like and uh wipes I'm like nope nope got nothing there either I'm sure they have extras laying around they did but it was just hilarious like it was funny because in fact when we picked him up that day the director was like well Sam it was like he didn't even miss a beat he like was great great day and I was like yep I did miss miss a couple beats though like I definitely messed up the first day back I had none of the things I was supposed to have he ate that was all I had like the most part the boy and the food that was all I got right but whatever well um I had to ask our Nanny earlier this week I was like so Carline remind me that starts at what time yeah and she was like what do you need me to pick her up I was like no no I got this but like three and she was like yeah and I was like okay it's been like two months right like you know you just get I did the same thing I was like now are the the preschool hours still is it 7:30 to 5:30 like I'm just trying to make sure it's confusing um also let me just I hope I don't make you feel bad about this I took a first remember was first day back to school I took an hour and a half nap yesterday now I got home from work you have a whole new life yeah I got home from work at like noon 12:30 and I don't have to pick River up no one was in the house yeah there quiet yeah I was like what is this I was like that does not make that does not make me sad at all that makes me so happy for well I didn't want to I mean I didn't want to make you feel bad cuz I know it's every parents dream to be able to take a nap but do you know how much it also made me realize the lack of sleep that I have had this summer like I was like I felt like even like a new person this morning cuz I like took a nap I went to bed at my like same old usual time like you know 7:30 8:00 8:30 whatever um but yeah like I was like oh my gosh like all summer I like was surviving on like five hours of sleep you know I was like I love school let's do this let's back let's do this you know it was so great it won't happen for me every day but um I'm like I'm here for it I'm here for back to school today yeah right now no I'm as you're saying this I'm thinking like I'm just literally days away from an empty house during the day you know the other thing about from me not having four children in the house all day I mean even we've had various nanes all summer and they've done a great job of trying to clean up but this means that like when we leave when we all leave the house in the morning we return to this house in the same state like if it's fairly clean we come home and it's still fairly clean in the summer you come home and like some nannies don't really want to clean up after the kids or some do but all the kids are just doing whatever and I don't fault the nannies they're doing whatever they can to like help these four children survive through the day without killing each other so like it's okay if the house is a mess but also you're like dang I worked all day now I come home and it's a mess so yeah that's another big plus um but let me say this I had one of the things I in addition to the extra sleep I had forgotten about um the lunch I hate lunches I hate lunches I hate lunches debacle I hate lunches in fact Gregory and I have like a pretty heated like I mean last year I was like you know I you got to take something off my plate I do all the things I mean not all the things but a lot of the things he was like okay I'll do the lunches and I was like okay but he is very grumbly about it he hates doing the lunches I mean everyone hates doing the lunches is what's worse than one lunch four lunches it's just like this whole like you know lineup of all these lunches and all this food and who gets what and who doesn't like this and you know of course it can't be as easy as like the same thing in all four lunch boxes because the kids like different things it's so awful and sometimes I'm like why don't I just Fork over the money to let them buy it would make my life so much easier yeah but then would they even eat that I um my one of my biggest issues is um River like will just decide one day like she was like you know how I was eat that's what she said to me you know how I was eating apples with peanut butter and I was like I do she was like I'm not going to do it anymore I don't like peanut butter anymore and I was like you are six you peanut butter is like supposed to be a main staple of your diet nope she's done with peanut but it's the age of six she L doesn't like peanut butter either what MH mhm all the other kids do but our problem is you know they don't allow peanut butter in most of the classrooms so like my go-to peanut butter and jelly sandwich won't work well miraculously at River School they do allow it and of course that's the EAS if you're a parent it's the easiest it's the easiest thing to do You' always got it on hand nope she's over she's done with peanut butter like who knows what she'll tell me next week she'll be like she's done with bread cuz you probably aren't a big fan of like the turkey lunch be yeah she that's like basically what river subsists on like turkey sandwich hummus strawberries some yogurt but she's tired of the squeezy yogurt so we're done with that she has to have like the let me tell you something so I was like River if you're done with the squeezy yogurts what is like could we get you the yogurts with you know that you eat with a spoon like a grown-up yogurt she was like yeah yeah we'll try it so like two weeks ago I like went and I got like you know the yogurts that like the fruit yogurts but they have like two grams of sugar cuz you know some yogurts can be like out of control just not good for you so I get I stack these up and she's like kind of eating them she's kind of into it well then my husband comes home with those yogurts that have the M&M's like like I've never bought those I'm like I can't do it what are you doing and he was like what I was like now it's over the yogurt like the healthy the Quasi healthy yogurt we done down the drain yeah we're done he was like oh s know I was like well you like he said that they went grocery I don't know what they were doing but they were at the grocery store and River like saw them and she was like Dad Dad they put M&M's in yogurt like to her this is the greatest day of my life yeah it was like such a reation we um were in the yogurt aisle and I had some of my kids with me and I remember like this was recently and I remember being like let me like Shield my B like somehow block these yogurts and my kids were like what are those down there I was like nothing nothing nothing to see here move along Move Along move on to the cheese section let's go let's go right yeah yeah like now she knows these these this yogur with M&M'S is out in the world and there's like the Oreo one stop there's Oreo ones I just sort of block it from my brain okay well I don't know I'll keep you posted lunches are so hard I'm like not we're only doing one right now and it's terrible I'm not looking forward to doing three more next week well also sometimes I'm like is are you a Bento Box person yeah yeah isn't everybody I think now yeah right it's just easier yeah I like that you can put them in like the part much less packaging yes and then you can put the inner part in the dishwasher that's huge for me huge when you were 20 did you think you would be so excited about dish uh dishwashable um lunch boxes I didn't think I'd be excited about any of this and guess what some of it I'm not that excited about but you still got do it cuz we're moms that's what we do okay well that's true um moving on okay um our first article comes from scary mommy welcome back to school and push notification hell as my kid would say I want to Yeet my phone against the wall I don't know what that means but I'm sure I agree it's say yes 100% um so she this this author who I really love she's from Pitts by the way I follow her on Instagram and she does a lot of the scary mommy articles um it's it's Meg sa aspr if I'm saying that right she names all of them and you'll recognize them if you're a mom you're like oh yeah that one that one that one power schools Class Dojo faisa Team snap some app that manages our lunch accounts or claims to but actually sucks how many apps can one Community use um she writes that our Boomer parents love to tell us to put our phones down and be present every facet of modern parenting parenting is driven by push alerts and group chats like we can't you just cannot put your phone down and it is true and it's like every organization like the pool has a specific app that they want you to use Sam School the big kids school River School the church soccer the extracurricular yeah all the things and the other thing that is tricky is some of them like sometimes it's an alert that that you want to hear and you want to respond to right away like you know the field trip that all the parents want to go to if you don't check that puppy and put your name in there right away you missed it sorry you're out the list for the you know picnic at school I gotta like get in there quickly so I can like get my paper plates because I'm not bringing food I'm not like cooking something you know you gota you got to manage those things and watch those alerts you can't yes you can't just put your phone down and not watch those things coming in well and this writer says there's so many of them there there's so many of them and sometimes there's so many of them you have a hard time deciphering between like you can't really ignore them to your point because sometimes like you legit need to respond to them but also like sometimes like you're unsure you know schools send emergency notifications through that app like Hey we're releasing early or you know your kid is sick like you have to respond you have to look at them you can't ignore them um I thought this was like a great Point um River's um School uses one of these apps and I actually I really enjoyed this last year but this part I did not consider this um her teacher would take some pictures and then send it to the specific app of like what they were doing in kindergarten which I was like oh cute cute but this writer argues that she has a friend that this this app these apps make it easier to helicopter parent even though that's like not generally her nature and it is true like I would be like what's River wait does her fa she look oh is she sad she's sad cuz like today was like the cupcake lunch day and I like was you know you're like zooming in on their faces or like well River she they just sent 10 pictures and river is not in any of these pictures like what is she doing is she not enjoying this craft you know yeah yeah then this is also a great Point what about like the coach [Music] and the teachers who now have the ability to up the parents expect have this expectation to be updated just like yeah I'm sure like you know that was the thing is River teachers were like if I didn't send these parents would be like well what happened today at the bring your pet to school day event like they have this obligation when we were growing up like our parents never heard from the teacher unless Like You Were Dying or something you know like there was no app there was no pictures there was no photo evidence of any of it there was no communication you just like your parents were like hey did you have a good day at school you're like yeah but how how did the cupcake lunch go fine great you know um yeah yeah all of it um I I agree I do think it's good I I I I love the fact that we can now text with I mean essentially through these apps communicate with teachers very easily which is super helpful um uh but there like there was one last year I Got a notification I had like missed that there was a field trip and I guess you like can't take the child on the field trip like you can't get on the bus unless the parent signs a form but it was like an Urgent Message it was like we're leaving in five minutes you got to sign this document right now or else like your kids's not going to get to go like you can't ignore these you know though I was like oh gosh ah yeah you know yeah there some of them are very important yeah they are very important you know relatively speaking so you know again River just started first grade this week and um I I already really like her teacher no good because I'll just tell you like she sent a letter home and she was like I will not be this is not verbatim but this is the gist of it I will not be like updating you every day on your kid yeah if there's something that you need to know I'll call you I check my email like one time in the morning one time at the night sometimes I'll check it during the school day but I cannot promise you like she's already laying down the expectations because she knows that there are parents out there who are yeah or you know just the expectation now it's like not even like they just assume like we all have like we all have our you know a phone in our pocket we all have a computer in our pocket like they the expectation is is that you're going to be like you know everybody's available 247 kind of thing well don't worry Bennett's teacher I think I told you this the other day Bennett's teacher uh through the app sent out a like a full class message that was like was so lovely to talk with all the parents today loved chatting with all of you I explained yada yada yada and my phone calls with you guys like here's kind of the layout for the for the for the year and I get this message and my and I'm like what I didn't get a phone call from this teacher so I immediately message back and I'm like I'm sorry did I miss something like here's my phone number do you need to call me like I like am I not on the list what's going on I'm like panicked I he responds right away and is like oh okay yeah I'll call you tomorrow you know so I'm like okay well okay and then I get home he had called Gregory and Gregory had not told me he was like oh guess who called me today talk to the teacher and you were like what I'm like what what what and also why in the world would you call the dad and not the mom that and I was like come on my number is first on like every single list cuz I do all the paperwork cuz you're the mom CU you're the mom so here's my only question cuz I was reflecting on that when after you said that what if you're the parents aren't together and you're calling one and not the other like what an interesting conundrum yeah like you're assuming that like you're calling the one parent or just like a parent and that is like representative of you calling the parents or like calling that family but what if yeah well now at like back to school night tonight I'm going to have to be like I apologize sir sorry I I promise I do sometimes speak with my husband although it may not appear that way he's going to be like you guys need some better communication yeah like do you like what's going on with you guys also this is what I would say and Greg I'm sorry you can correct me the next time I see you um if the teacher C if like River's like newly minted kindergarten teacher called me like in the summertime to be like H I would text Brian to be like just talk to River's like teacher and he or she seems great like you know like it's just so funny like I do not want to throw him under the bus but I and I don't know this is a good topic of conversation uh listeners you can be thinking about your response here but I um we should put this on social media and see yes I get such we communicate so little during the day like and I don't know I mean Gregory's very busy I'm very busy but yes like if the teacher had called me I would have texted Gregor and be like oh just talk to the teacher I get such little communication from Gregory during the day very little like unless is he just busy he's busy we're busy too you're busy too I know he's busy but I would be interested to hear if most husbands are like doing their thing and don't think to communicate during the day during the work day or maybe it's just mine I don't know but yes there is very little communication and if if he calls or if I call it is like something major happened you know I really don't I try not to call him unless it's funny he we were at a work event for him and with there was a a the spouses were talking and one of them said oh yeah we have a rule that I do not text or call during the work day unless it is an absolute emergency what yeah and I'm like I mean I mean my husband's a financial adviser he's not like in surgery saving someone's life like I know he's busy but also like he can shoot me a text what yeah right yes yes yes people text me on the anchor desk like do you know what I mean like I and I mean I'm obviously not a surgeon as well but like I'm literally like anchoring the news and my phone is like buzzing from family members from whatever and they know like I'm H I'm my phone is on vibrate and I'm like happy to have it but it just would never occur to me to be like don't do it maybe I should no cuz I want to hear from them but do you do you and Brian text often during the day yeah oh yeah yeah we usually like we'll talk talk once I get off the desk like just because I don't this is the problem too we don't see see each other in the mornings like we don't see each other until he comes home from work and like a night like tonight like Brian has a dinner like I don't know I may not see him today I may not see him today so you know in In fairness like we're GNA talk most of the time like at least once on the phone in the morning just because it's not like we're like okay have a great day like here's what we're doing today here's your you know here's your breakfast your coffee like you do you know what I'm saying but even if we weren't like we text back and forth like we were just texting about the the like a car the car we'll like text back and forth about like you know weekend plans so and so said the yeah yeah we're both big he's more of a phone talker than I am I we talking about this on Instagram earlier this week but like I'll text you all day long yeah yeah yeah okay well anyway um good luck with all those push notifications is the main message here and let's hope you and your uh spouse have a good communication to the notifications um okay I have a I have a mums this is a little segment about something we think would be useful for you and this is something that actually came up uh when we were with you guys this past weekend and I was telling your husband um this is a very specific thing but if you are in the um uh in need of some Adera chairs oh um we recently upgraded Ours from you know we had those like junky plastic ones um for a long time and we're like you know we need to get the I mean I don't know are they really Wood anymore but they're you know the poly whatever ones some people do we have a poly ones then we have like the plastic plastic ones and then some folks have like the legit wood ones well these are the poly ones um but there are so I'm bringing this up because we were looking for them and there are so many options now and they're very they can be very expensive and it was one of those things that I was like H you know and it's just you it's one of those items that you wish you could like go to a store and sit in them and see them before you purchase but unfortunately that's just like not the way Society works anymore um anyway so I did some research I Gregor and I both like spent some time looking at like which had the best reviews what are the best ones out there anyway we got these ones on Amazon and they were very easy to put together and we love them and they feel very durable and nice and I feel like the price is great it was a four four ader on Deck chairs you know of course different colors and they were $340 that is good so I feel like you can spend you know easily more than a 100 a pop um oh for sure we have we have a couple of those um poly chairs and they're foldable ones not foldable anyway y y if you're in the market for these um we'll post the link in our show notes but a four pack of ad on do chairs that we thought were very great uh for Less than's great about those poly ones you know love the wood ones but the weather just beats the heck out of them like the sun the snow the cold the heat yeah these will last for a long time um okay the next article is is from today and it's called uh what is a venmo mom one mom explains why she refer refuses to volunteer at her kids schools I love this this is a mom in Tennessee she has four kids um she does not want to be involved in any of the things I don't remember if she works now that I'm talking about this or not but it doesn't really matter she um I I don't I can't remember my instinct is to say yes but now I'm looking through the article but she basically says look I don't want to do any of the things I don't want to come to the school and do crafts I don't want to bring food for the teachers I don't want to do any of the things but I will send you moms who want to do it whatever money you need so she's just very honest about the fact that she's like I will venmo you whatever money you need to support the students and the staff but I do not want to be involved um of course some people are like well that's that's rude you know but others are like no I hear you I have to say I try so hard to be involved when I can but I work full-time and have four kids so it's very very difficult um I I'm here for this I I'm kind of like I so often as I mentioned earlier I'm like what C can I send money for the picnic do I I'm not I'm not going to be able to like make a breakfast casserole in the morning but I will gladly like send in money or send in something non-p perishable the week before and I and I generally at the beginning of school the school year will say to the teachers look I work full-time I have four children I would love to support you in any way you can't I can I'm not going to be able to come in often I'm not going to be able to do like a once a once a week reading thing but you let me know if you need something from the dollar store if you need something from Target whatever I can instacart that and I can bring it in the next day like you know whatever whatever you need I can do it in a ven mode type form but I cannot be responsible for like showing up in person and doing being that sort of helper in the classroom and I think that they appreciate that and I've had teachers be like okay like we'll let you know when we like need some money or need some glue sticks or whatever you know um uh the the one of the there there was all these like uh descriptions of these other moms now and one of them said I'm a venmo mom with a side of field trip mom and I was like that's am that's where I am yeah I'll do a field trip every once and again and I'll send you whatever money I'm a venmo mom I um you know River School does this super fun chili cook off every year like I can't cook the chil um because that just feels like a lot of pressure and a lot of time I cannot do but I will last year I baked the cookies and I will bring some napkins and I will send you money um I can't be a room mom honestly that gives me just my um it just gives me too much anxiety to even think about like I just can't do it even if if I had the time to do it I that I just know my personality and it would just I would be I would I would want to do it to such a tea and like I just it would be just so much pressure for me I do the only thing and I think it's fine if there's moms on both sides the only thing I feel bad about is I don't want and I feel like I've had this in some classes with my kids at their school like I do feel bad if it all falls on like one or two moms who are also perhaps working but they just like take well that's what I was just going to say like this is the only problem if everybody is Veno mom then got to show up and you know when you have young kids River's age um Ben and Sage you you can tell me if L um still feels this way these parties these like chili cook offs these whatever insert whatever is like the highlight of River's week it's so funny because you forget when you know when you're it's an adult you get sort of jaded and you get kind of like your instinct is to roll your eyes at this kind of stuff but not river she's literally like okay waiting when is this when's the party when is that you know she's gets really excited about it and I I I want her to have that so thank you to those moms and I'm always happy to like I always bring something I do sign up for the ice cream um sell on Fridays which I'm always like when it comes I'm always like okay like I'm going to work all day on Friday and then I'm going to go and do like ice cream duty but it's always worth it because a you get to sort of like get to know people in school river is and this will change I have a funny feeling as she gets older river is always super excited to um like to see me at school to know that I'm coming into school like that kind of thing but the thing I want to say is is like isn't everybody sort of like on one team or the other like there's just those people who are really good at being there and organizing and then there's like people who are like you know that's not my cup of tea less so I like to think that I'm sort of in the middle yeah there I would say the same for me and and I do think there are some I mean I have to believe at least in my kids school I know that there are some moms who don't work and who do want to come in weekly and do all the things and I'm so happy for them to be able to do that um but yeah it's a lot it's a lot it's a lot of pressure and also like I maybe I'm just not remembering I don't remember my mom ever coming to the school well my mom worked two jobs and was a single mom so like she didn't yeah and I like forgive her for that I don't don't care I mean my mom wasn't working during the school day but I don't I just don't think these things existed in this extent that they do now you know like there wasn't you know a form every other week to volunteer for XYZ I don't think I don't know I can't remember remember those either um but yeah I don't know I don't know I mean I guess if like to your point if like we're not remembering then hopefully our kids won't remember either well I just think there's a lot more like hubub these days lot more events Hub a lot of hum bomb yeah all right moving on to the third article this one is from huff poost and um it's called the title is things kids totally notice without adults realizing it children are paying attention to more than parents and caregivers might think and this article like I was like oh shoot this is totally true and I'm really guilty of not being good about some of these um so they asked experts what sorts of things children pick up on that adults don't always realize they're noticing and by the way the list isn't designed to be judgmental rather it's a reminder we can all bring a little more awareness to our day-to-day interactions this is a good article because after I have read read this there are certain things this week that I was like Brian it no no you can't do it um number one is how you feel about your partner co-parent or other caregivers um number two how you feel about your body number three is what you actually value number four your self-compassion or lack thereof number five your relationship with food and number six is how you talk about your kid to other adults I think those are all really good things that I fall into this sometimes I'm having a conversation with another mom and I do just especially if like it's a play date or something and the kids are playing you're just talking about all the things and all of a sudden you're like ooh was anybody listening to that yes they are they are no they like legit are because River has regurgitated things that I'm like what what so out of that list I think all of these are good um the the first one how you feel about your partner co-parent or other caregivers just a reminder to sort of like talk kindly to your spouse especially when we I'm like telling my children to talk nicely amongst themselves and then here I am like kind of like being snarky with my husband exactly exactly sorry the the the other one is the number three is what you actually value so it's like the arttic the the article brings up this point where you're like you know these team sports like it's all about having fun and forming relationships and getting exercise and then you're like well you should have done this you should have done that to make that goal did you win did you get did you score a goal that's the first question I asked um or you know you say you value kindness but then you're not nice to your spouse or you're not talking about some other family corre correct so I will say this the other thing Brian and I just had this conversation I think I've mentioned this previously uh on the Pod is just that um he'll like sometimes joke like oh that cookie is good you know fat guy in a skinny shirt like he'll say that kind of stuff and I'm always like no no no like River I know you think like you're being funny but like River hears that and thinks that you know it's oh you know I don't want her to think I don't want her to think negatively about herself or other people like I'm just like don't say like don't say the word fat ever ever yeah say it and he kind of looks at me like I'm crazy and I'm like just don't say it say yeah especially to a girl especially to our girl you know so we I had like a great example of this that actually had to do with you um so we were at y s c this past weekend and um couple days go by right and I'm putting Henry to bed and he goes mom I I really just want to ask you you said to Katie at the lake um no I really want to do the dishes and he said but you hate doing the dishes like I don't understand why you would have said that to her like I don't get it and I was like first of all how in the world was that something that you heard me say and like obviously has been in your brain for like multiple days and then you wanted to bring it up and address it with me and I think for him he was like confused because he's like my mom hates doing the dishes why would she want to do the dishes at someone else's house so then I was like okay I was like well also why would you but anyway yeah well also I was like well first of all per this article they're always listening right was like one takeaway but also then I tried to be like well you know like they had hosted us and they had cooked dinner and so it's nice to like share the chores and so I wanted to like do a chore to help out anyway but it was so funny because he was just like I I heard you say that and like for days I've been like why would my mom say that she hates the dishes like she acted like she wanted do the dishes and like that was a lie like what is happening here but anyway it was just a funny well and it's just a good reminder that like kids take things so literal so even a better re you lied to Katie like you like you do not like to do the dishes why did you do the dishes like what was that about even a better reason to just remember what you're saying like I said after I read this article it's kind of like a good you it's a reminder to sort of police yourself for your kid but also like why not be a better person police yourself exactly like I found myself Brian was like you know just talking about things that happen in his day and River was like there and he was just you know how it is like you're complaining you're like whining and I was like you know river is listening and you might want to like you would not be happy if she were to talk like this so it's probably not okay that you're and he was like oh I was like I'm going to send you this article but it's not just him like we all do it I just happen to have read the article recently um so I have a win Winn what is it um so you kind of talked about this we were going out to the lake um this past weekend it had been on the books for a really long time my um my best friend from high school her husband and her two kids were um were going to travel down from from Pennsylvania and called me last week and they had a pipe burst in their house and she was I was very sad because I only get to see her like once or twice a year she couldn't come and Brian and I were like well we're still going to go like we have this like house and beds and it's like like what should we do so and and you actually said to me like this is so unlike you because I've said before on the podcast I'm the least spontaneous person you will ever find but like we invited you guys and our neighbors who have three girls and it was it ended up being it was so fun so fun it ended up being so fun we spent time on the boat we like cooked Burgers K did my dishes we went tubing we like around fire we did s'mores but it was like just such a it was a win that you did not see coming cuz at first I was like and River you were devastated that your friend could I was I was really sad River was really she loves their kids and she was like what it's just like I want somebody to Mom I need a playmate like what you what are you doing and I was like feeling so bad and so guilty about it and then it ended up being how can we get the most bang for our buck come on over ex exactly that's exactly what it was and we all ended up having um a really good sort of like summer going you know going out a bang yeah it was fun glad you guys came it was really nice thanks for having us oh anytime it was a very very good time no one no one like there was no like injuries everyone survived the tubing yeah uh there was some close calls some kids popped off but everybody everybody made it yeah I know a weekend at the lake you just never know um but yeah it's fun also you and I the girls have like a little sleepover they both fell asleep in the same room together was very dicey very dicey at one point we were so Karen and I put them to bed um we were like all right good night girls this is Bennett and river in the same room and then we like both snuck down to the fire and like after like 10 minutes both the girls were standing on the porch like sobbing like I'm scared and I was like okay so oh shoot all right let me put down my beer here okay go back up and put you to bed again so anyway um yeah it was a really fun weekend so I'm glad we did it it was uh hope everyone has a great week and and is surviving the back to school Shuffle yeah and that um I hope you get an hour and a half oh yeah na take a nap take a nap get yourself a nap get yourself a nap bye bye anchor moms is a Sinclair podcast produced out of woss in Asheville where your hosts Katie Kellan and Karen zachik anchor moms is edited by Matthew Yates for more information 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