A Mother's Love: Chubby Checker, Betty Bridges, Lindiwe Dlamini, and Drs. Hammond & Dr. Tinina Cade

I've been extremely fortunate to have really great relationships with the majority of the mothers in my life like for instance my mama my mama I absolutely love my mom coming from a single mom household where it was just the two of us that is my rock I love her so much and honestly I kind of pray for a better mother in love my husband's mom is beyond what I would have even wished for for this mother of my spouse she exceeds what I would have ever hoped for and to see a lot of my friends that are coming into their own as moms as they start to have children and seeing them kind of in this new stage of life has been so satisfying to see especially the friends where you knew them then like you knew her when she was out here in these streets like you knew her when so to see her gross now to see her just evolve into this Pillar of Strength and responsibility and wisdom and I love this so much for my friends and all of the amazing moms that have been in my life if you couldn't tell episode 3 is dedicated to the moms so the stories I'm telling you about today all have one thing in common a mother's love and how that love manifests will vary but trust me you'll see and you will appreciate every single story welcome to another episode of I'll tell you what [Applause] foreign [Applause] [Music] ERS so if you are a mama or a maternal figure like an Auntie or a big sister that acts like a mama I hope you are getting pampered this weekend or at least getting a free meal and whether that is going to a restaurant or somebody is cooking out and you coming over to their house I hope you take a plate to go anyway I'm Ashley the host of I'll tell you what and if you're new here I'll tell you what is a weekly Deep dive of some of the most epic engagements weddings and marriages have occurred throughout black history our trip down memory lane isn't met with Mel intent but comes from a place of nostalgia inspiration but is most of all rooted in realism you know you probably haven't seen black history like this before but trust me you will absolutely love it if you're watching I'll tell you what on the tube of you thank you and if you're listening to I'll tell you what wherever you get your podcast I appreciate you also don't forget to follow us everywhere including Instagram Twitter Tick Tock Facebook YouTube Pinterest LinkedIn the list goes on whether you're following I'll tell you what or hue I do which is the overall brand I am truly truly thankful if you want to support I'll tell you what just head to our Etsy store and grab a few pieces of Merch this helps me keep this podcast together and running for you to enjoy every single week but if you don't get paid until next week or the end of the month trust me I get it it is okay you can show support if I'll tell you what by sharing the podcast leaving us a comment or a review and following us everywhere you can just know that however you support I am truly truly thankful so y'all gotta tell me but wouldn't you think about the episode on Mr Harry Belafonte now I've already seen the comments on Instagram and Tick Tock and YouTube and trust me y'all did not disappoint y'all definitely said what I thought y'all would say but if you ever want to reach out to Al tell you what whether it's to send in a request add a comment have a question what have you feel free to reach out through the contact form Linked In the notes below and I promise I will link it this time or you can actually email I'll tell you what at aisle Hue ido.com and that is spelled a-i-s-l-e at h-u-e-i-d-o dot c-o-m but like I mentioned before we talk about the mothers no you didn't see white chicks anyway some of these stories you might have heard of and some honestly might be new to you but like I said before you are going to enjoy all of them so let's dive on in [Music] [Music] now first I have to tell you about Mrs ertle Evans or Chubby Checker's Mama but first I gotta tell you about Chubby Checker so he was born Ernest Evans and was a popular artist back in the WAP up a loo bop bop and boo era or at least that was the era I associate him with he basically popularized the twist but I'm not saying he created The Twist I'm not saying he started the twist I'm just saying that he popularized the remake of the song like his remake is the version of The Twist that a lot of people associate with in January 1963 chubby was in the Philippines and met Harlem born Katarina Waters she had just won the Miss world pageant two months before representing the Netherlands and he was in the Philippines performing I'm not sure when they began to date but in October 1963 they were seen out and about in London the magazines wanted to know what was going on so they reached out to Chubby and said all right what's going on with y'all are you about to get married and he said quote he's too young to marry but just two months later on December 12 1963 chubby would propose to Katarina and she would say yes and at that point she was 21 and he was 22. so you know just two months later now we're old enough to get married while the following April there were rumors that chubby and Katarina's engagement was about to be called off and this was because there were reports that she just left and went back home to Holland or Chubby's manager Henry cult would say that she had some modeling obligation she had to take care of before her Miss World 1962 Reign came to an end and his manager also denied one of the major barriers in their relationship Chubby's Mama because that spring Chubby's mom Mrs Evans showed her entire behind I'm telling you this lady showed out she drove to church Church wearing this mink coat that chubby gave her sat through the entire sermon and then afterwards wanted to say something to the congregation Mrs Evans gets up and says quote I want all of you to pray with me this morning that God keeps my son from getting married to that white girl she's ruining his life now she kept going on she was like just because Ernest is my son doesn't make him any different he should marry a girl of his own color this girl doesn't really love him she's just marrying him because he's Chubby Checker now this Vigor from his mom made chubby go into hiding in New Jersey after moving out of his family home Katarina was staying at the home too until she was kicked out by his mom Mrs Evans said quote I told him I couldn't stand her around here anymore now you have to remember this was about three years before The Supreme Court would allow for interracial marriage to be legal and interracial relationships wasn't unheard of nor was interracial marriage because some states actually did allow it but even though it wasn't uncommon to necessarily hear of an interracial relationship it did not mean that it was widely accepted like around this time chubby was apparently doing a free performance for an NAACP benefit and was booed before he even got the chance to begin that poor man just ended up canceling the whole performance but his mama poured salt in the womb and was like basically that's what he gets she said quote that girl has wrecked his career and scandalized his family she's nothing just nothing and she's nasty his mom like went on this a long diatribe about this girl she said that this girl took him away from the church and that he don't care about his mama no more like she just went on and on and on like girl but chubby who is obviously extremely hurt by his mom's words and actions said that this would not deter him from marrying the love of his life so on April 12 1964 a temple Lutheran Church in New Jersey Shelby and Katarina got married and afterwards they moved into an apartment in Philadelphia and tried to get a house but ran into some discrimination due to obviously being an interracial couple but they would eventually buy a home outside of Philly in 1965 and as for his mom chubby said he straightened that out and the real issue actually was because of the language barrier between his mom and his wife now personally I don't know about that but his mom would have had to have gotten over it because let me tell you this chubby and Katarina are still married today they're both in their 80s and have been married for almost 60 years of marriage like actually next April will make 60 years can you believe it I know times have changed oh my goodness we're going to take a very quick break and then we are going to hop in into the second story for this Mother's Day episode [Music] and we're back so so most people probably don't know about the time when Todd Bridges from Different Strokes married his mama all right well not really but like sort of all right you gotta go with me so in 1991 Todd's Mama Betty Bridges was engaged to a man named Marcos nescasio now Betty was an actress and an acting coach and Marcos was a chemist but he was also a native of Tortola which is an island in the British Virgin Islands while Betty lived in Los Angeles now I don't necessarily know how these two met or how their relationship even evolved or even how long they dated but what I do know is that he was supposed to be with Betty in this Las Vegas penthouse suite at the Aladdin Hotel but there was an issue with his immigration papers so thank goodness for Alexander Graham Bell because at 2500 a night which will be almost six thousand dollars tonight today the wedding must go on so in front of 30 friends and family members Betty recited her vows over the phone as the telephone operator Erica McGuire translated what was said in Spanish for the groom to understand now standing in for his stepfather was Todd who also recited the vows and acted as a witness to the wedding and he also placed the ring on his mother's finger and even though you may be thinking this was not a real Wedding by any means oh I am here to tell you that it was this wedding was officiated by Pastor Ernest Johnson and they had a wedding singer Miss Toledo long Toledo long is also Nia Long's mother yes she sang a time for caring loving you in the Lord's Prayer now after the ceremony ended Betty sat on the bed and just talked to her husband not sure if the translator was also in the room and I'm not sure what everybody else did because again there were about 30 people there including Betty's parents and honestly I don't even really know what happened to their marriage as the details around this relationship and marriage were actually extremely extremely few and I know that's not quite the Mother's Day story you thought you were gonna hear on this episode but you know what mama needs some love too all right so let's go in to the next Mother's Day story [Music] now imagine dropping your kid off at school and when you go to pick them up they aren't there and then you go home expecting that maybe they got a ride home and nope they're not there either so naturally you're going to panic right okay so this happened to lindiwe de la mini I hope I pronounced that right on October 9 2002 she took her 18 year old daughter Xena malangu to school now her daughter was prepping for the a-level exams which are like the SAT or act exam basically something you have to take before headed to college or university well when she went to go pick her up at 4 30 she wasn't there and then she goes home and Xena's not there either Xena's Brothers also didn't know what had happened now the father of the three kids passed away in 1985. so the feeling leaned away was experiencing felt very reminiscent to that then she receives a phone phone call from a cousin that says he talked to one of the king's aides and they took Xena now Linda Way eventually talks to the aide and lets him know that she's going to get her baby back no matter what and she will not be held responsible for whatever she does if she can't and that man just kind of laughed at her through the phone so then she starts playing things back in her mind like what could have possibly led up to this right about a month or so back Xena was invited by a friend who was actually miss swazilyn at the time a girl named nosy foe shabangu to attend the re-dance now the read dance is this event where unmarried girls and the young ladies of the country cut Reed leaves for the annual repairs of the wind breaks of the Queen's mother's Village thank you britannica.com this is also a chance for King mswati the third to find a new bride now lindiwe didn't want her to go but let her go anyway and after that Xena was invited to another Royal event with her friend and allegedly during that time she met the king for the first time now apparently a week after that event two men went to Xena's paternal grandparents and asked to take her to the Royal crawl or Village but no one assumed that the king actually wanted her to be a bride of his because she's a twin and apparently like being a twin is bad luck so at that point the king already had like six or seven wives which was nothing compared to the amount his father had now articles vary in the amount some said he had 60 wives other had 70 but I read a few that said he actually had more than 100 wives so after Consulting with her daughter's grandparents Linda Wade decided to pursue legal action she requested that her daughter be returned home as she claimed her daughter was kidnapped now I read that apparently most parents should be grateful that their daughter was chosen and by Linda away taking this approach some speculated if she was even a native of the country now during this time lindewe had no contact with her daughter and learned about her well-being through hearsay in the news and a lot of this was kind of PR stunts by the Royals right so Lindy Way didn't really know actually how her daughter was doing now her lawyer argued that this was an abduction because Xena was under the age of 21 but however the king cannot be charged because you see there the king is above the law so though many advocacy groups felt like this was sending the wrong message and essentially made the woman of Swaziland or now is swatini powerless now the judges there also were Loki being bullied like the Attorney General notified them that if they continued hearing the case they would lose their jobs immediately and allegedly the director of public prosecutions office was broken into multiple times because of this the case was postponed indefinitely by early November of 2002 and shortly after that Xena was officially the king's fiancee or lipovela I hope I pronounced that right now lindiwe got to talk to Xena for the first time three weeks after she had been taken and Xena was living in the Royal guest house and was not able to have visitors yet but she was able to chat with her mom on the phone about twice a day and that was something that didn't make Linda Way feel necessarily good but felt like you know what this is better than nothing now over two decades later Xena is one of King maswati's Queens she's technically Queen La malangu she became a queen in 2010 and since then has given birth to a son in 2004 and a daughter in 2013. now the idea of being a princess or a queen is cute in kind of the Disney sense but you just have to imagine how Linda Way felt like she just wanted her daughter to have a chance to forge her own path prior to October 2002 Xena was studying to be an industrial psychologist Linda Way was quoted saying I don't want the king to be my daughter's husband she has other plans for her life like she knew and even said that her daughter wouldn't be able to be independent as one of many wives to the king and like most great moms she just wanted the best for her baby tell me what you think or even if you remember this because this was an international story around that time one place I read said it was basically like the democracy versus monarchy in kind of like all of the feelings around that so I can imagine it was a lot of kind of internal conflict now we have one more story to go but trust me you will absolutely love it [Music] and we're back so this story I'm about to tell you about I just have to tell you about this was truly one of the sweetest stories I've ever heard of so it All Began in the late 1990s when a young Camille met her future husband Jason during the first week of medical school they dated and three years later on July 15 2000 they got married and for some married couples the next step is to start trying for kids right well Camille has endometriosis which is a chronic reproductive condition that can impact one's ability to conceive and carry to term more than 11 of American women have endometriosis but Camille and Jason really wanted to have kids so they did what many do when they want to have kids it and they also tried six rounds of IVF over the course of I believe five years years but did not find success her doctor suggested you know what maybe you should adult or maybe you should find a surrogate now going the route of surrogacy is not something everyone can easily do I mean one you have the costs but two it can just be hard for some to process that somebody else will be carrying their child or children and if the surrogate is someone you don't know or have a relationship with it can be an even harder mental hurdle to get over well Camille's mama who is also a doctor wanted to help she saw on TV how someone's mom was a surrogate for their daughter and thought maybe I could do this too she talked it over with her husband and they're like yeah go see at this time Camille's Mama Dr to Nina Cade was 55 in post-menopausal they took this idea to their doctor and the doctor confirmed that actually her mom could carry a fertilized egg so Camille and Jason began IVF with tanina and on the second try she was pregnant but not only was she pregnant with one baby she was actually pregnant with three right they were due in February 2005. but honestly as you would imagine pregnancy was not easy on her she had to use a wheelchair and avoid stairs due to the size of her bump but shortly after Christmas on December 28 2004 in Richmond Virginia she gave birth via C-section to her grandbabies two boys and one girl what a gift right like oh my gosh the words that she used to sum up this experience was quote God is good I know that's right Dr K he really is in 2005 Dr Camille and Jason Hammond created the tanina qkd foundation to help other families like theirs the Cade Foundation provides quote information support and financial assistance to help needy and fertile families overcome infertility now over the last 18 years they've provided over 170 families with assistance towards their fertility journey and help bring 78 babies into this world like I love this so much oh my gosh if y'all want to learn more about the Cade Foundation just head to Cape foundation.org you can also donate to help others achieve their family goal too if this story personally touched you in FYI it is a legitimate 501c3 organization so you can actually write off a donation on next year's taxes that is such a sweet story oh I wanted to leave y'all with a really great one to wrap the Mother's Day episode of I'll tell you what thank you [Laughter] [Music] [Laughter] [Music] so you probably heard this on the last episode but I'm gonna say it again next month we are going to start showing UPS or show nuptials and I want to see your wedding moments so send over photos from your wedding or wedding related events or even if you've never had a wedding before I want to see you as a wedding guest I don't care whether you got married 30 years ago or three weeks ago or whether you were a wedding guest back in 1982 or you were a flower girl send me those pictures we all want to see them right I want to be able to share y'all stories just as much as everyone else's all you have to do is head to the link in the notes below fill out the form upload the photos and you might see yourself on an upcoming episode of I'll tell you what I want to start showing off y'all's pictures next month so send them in and like I mentioned before if you have any questions or requests or any thoughts what have you please send them my way you can fill out the contact form which is linked in the notes below or email I'll tell you what at aisle hueidoo.com that's a-i-s-l-e at h-u-i-d-o.com and if you're planning your wedding or getting close to that stage in your life don't forget to listen to who I do the podcast you can find those episodes here as well if you're watching this on the tube of you know that there's over 145 episodes and we're slowly trying to upload them all to this feed as well but if you listen to podcasts and you like your podcast that way you can find all 149 episodes right now please please please friends if you've been enjoying I'll tell you what the podcast don't forget to leave us a review it'll help other people that love this type of black history find this as well thank you in advance and as I say every single week don't forget to follow us every single place that you can all of the links are in the notes below also if you're watching on the tube of you you will see our handles on the screen so don't forget to go ahead and follow and if you are watching on YouTube with you if you haven't subscribed as of yet I highly suggest you go do so right now so you get an update every single time we got some new stuff that drops and you know we're dropping it like it's hot all the time I'm so sorry for that I apologize I'm actually too young to have made that type of a reference but anyway um again thank you all so much if you want to support I'll tell you what because I need your support this is my birthday month so can y'all like kind of do some for a kid you know what I'm saying like whether you get a shirt submerge show some love in some form or fashion do that for me that could be your birthday gift to me my birthday is a Memorial Day head to our Etsy and grab some merch New pieces of merch are being added all the time there's plenty of stuff for you to grab all Runner just go ahead and do that but just know either way truly appreciate it and if you want to follow me for whatever reason you could follow me at Demi on Instagram Twitter and Tick Tock that is d-e-m-i-t-a-s-h-e because I am a little cup of coffee so don't forget to come back next week for another episode of I'll tell you what brought to you by who I do Happy Mother's Day again everyone all right love y'all [Applause] foreign