EVERY Howie Mandel GOLDEN BUZZER from 2014-2024!

I don't know oh [Music] oh what's your name guys I'm eeman well and that's Philip landel right [Applause] there we here to expose all the Ratchet females out there okay good I want to see if you know somebody R to put your head up let me see but a ratchet female is a female that don't know how to stay out of Nobody Business always messing with somebody man and be on Instagram I can't even talk about you really Expos it too much we going to get to that how are you going to expose ratchet females we're going to show you how raty females act and then when we done then we can answer some more questions all right are there any red females on this panel she cute cute or whatever but all right we're anxious to see this uh good luck all turn up hit it oh they she just C I said turn up turn hit it OMG what do she have on she ring H leg front is all wrong Cy R give me the phone I'm going to take this helpful picture cushy ratet got it I'm about to put this thing on Twitter now you R cuz I ain't got time for this I'm too grown see you R why by now with them shoes on you ratet oh I you want to punch her in her face I can't stand her to feel new $95 for we blood o they F to Jud feel be quiet I like it I like them that's good Howard there they're good Howard they're good they're good they're funny guys I I'll be honest with you I hit the X and I'll tell you why DN you you know I think uh this is all fun and games but at the end of the day I'm looking for a million dooll [Applause] Talent um I didn't learn anything about ratchet take the activator out your hair and maybe you canar something the hair product is he talking about the hair product oh yeah it's real I'm going to go to melb you know I I loved it I loved it I get the comedy I get what you're trying to explain and you are impersonating women out there that actually act like ID what do you think you really think this is great I'm confused you know know I'm open-minded and I'm always you know eager to learn something new but I didn't really get it guys you're missing a point it's comedy it's funny it's funny to you here we go I'll start it off guys nothing personal I just don't find it funny I didn't get it uh that's me I'm going to go to hoe I'm going to say yes because you are funny you are original you are polarizing and this is what comedy is about and this is why you're a star and this is why they're going to be Stars be come on it's obvious I'm right there with you it's yes yes yes yes yes one more yes fell you got two yeses you got one no from me if Heidi gets a no then you're out you get a yes you're on your way I'm telling you as a professional comedian this is good this is funny they're great come on don't make it harder for me it's not because I don't like you guys I do but I didn't get it I didn't love it and no no no I got it trust me trust me what are you saying what's your vote no I said no you said no you're coming back you're coming back she's wrong she's wrong you're coming back golden button we'll see you wow you guys have been saved by how M how knows about ratchetness I can already hear that on the radio you should let them know man you can't hear it on the radio it already has how many how many you sell already it's already went platinum what you say what you say over 180 million on YouTube you can check it out hello how you doing up there hi you doing okay yeah yes my name my my name is Drew uh I I have a I have I have a stutter that's what that's that's what that is and what is your town um I'm a comedian a comedian okay and uh when when did you start doing comedy four four about four years ago I I I did I didn't want to uh always do comedy but uh I had a I had a sport Sports Injury that's that's that's why I talk talk like talk like this almost 4 years years ago I was on a s softball team there was a grounder that took a took a bad hop and uh hit me in my throat which damaged some nerves in my vocal cords excuse me I felt angry about it at at first I started to like write down all my frustrations on like a a napkin in the hospital my girlfriend um encouraged me to try just talking about those those things on stage and I started to do comedy as a way of like I guess Co coping with it I don't know I always I was I always feel better after you talk to me the person I W I was before would probably never hang out with with who I am today I thought people were lucky if they got to Todd talk to me and uh that was a jerk I feel a lot of responsibility to show show show show people that you can turn any anything into a to a two a positive how does softball cause a stutter uh well I I guess you're not supposed to supposed to go to sleep on a concussion but I I know I know that now uh and uh learn yeah live live and you live and you learn and uh uh are you in a relationship do you have a girlfriend or yeah I I hope she hope she's here and is she supportive of your standup career no no no she's not supportive no I mean I mean she she she's uh sorry I'm trying not to get emotional she she took uh she took she took on three he jobs so so I could I could PS I could pursue this wow and wow it's a good woman isn't it you're going to have to marry her you know you just got that's what she tells me yeah I'm anxious to hear your act I wish you the best of luck the stage is yours I'm okay with with with my with my my voice but I I still struggle with some some things like like like I have the hardest time at a drive-thru you know cuz cuz you cuz you got you got to say the say the order fast and you're and you're and you're talking through in inner Gom it's like I don't know why I I I would work there I I I want I want to get to to where people start to use my my my voice as as the voice of their g g GPS it's it's like it's like in in one 1,00 thousand feet a you you you [Applause] turn oh that's brilliant your your destination is is is ahead of you on the on on the on the right re you re re re re you turn you you you turn you you should you should have got I believe that you you you can turn anything into do positive that's why I'm here but I've come along some some people who don't think think that like I did a show show one time where where where a guy stood up and it's like hey you you you can't just make fun of dis abilities ju ju just cuz you you have one I was I was like I was like well did did did I did I I st her thank you guys so so so so [Applause] much all right well the crowd is definitely with you drew you know it is such a hard thing to get up on a stage when you've got everything going for you and everything's clear and to go up there with your situation and to pull this off and to get the crowd with you is almost impossible so I along with the audience applaud you for that really [Applause] awesome what I love about you is you've taken your situation and like you said you've turned it into a positive I was laughing even more the fact that you were laughing at your own jokes I I I [Laughter] I Howie what did you think all right here's what I thought I know you're here to make people laugh but I can't tell you how emotional you make me because comedy usually comes from a dark place a lot of comedians you know are depressed I I am personally in my life have used laughter to try to gain some happiness what you did is you looked for the light at the end of the darkness that light is your comedy and I'm telling you I haven't been moved by an act like this up until this moment and because of you and because of this moment I want to do something very special something I haven't had a chance to do and I'd like to do this [Applause] for everyone that doesn't know what's going on Howe Mandel just hit the golden buzzer and you my friend are going straight to the live shows at Radio City [Applause] Music congratulations how's it feel I I feel good Howe you hit your golden buzzer you are worth a million dollars I want to see you at Radio City Music Hall I'm going to see you at Radio City Music Hall hi young lady what is your name Grace Grace you're a beautiful young lady you know that thank you I guess how old are you uh 12 are you excited to be here it's crazy what are you going to sing I'm singing an original really yeah yes what's it about it's about me and are people at school behind you supporting you most of my friends don't really know I sing so they don't know you're here no you believe that you can win well I'm in a Miracles can happen so possibly stage is yours good luck I don't know my name I don't play by the rules of the game Sorry I'm trying justy so I heard you are my sister this when you get along quite nicely you asked me why I could my hair and change myself completely I'm lost trying to get found in an oce of please don't ask me any I don't know my name I don't play by the rules of the game Sorry Sorry I'm just trying just try I now know my name I don't play by the rules game so we say I'm not trying but I'm try to find my way look go racing from everyone oh my God oh my God I didn't expect that at all no way no way you know this is a show about surprises and you use the word miracle and I think you are a living beautiful walking Miracle you're original while people not knowing your name is so right and so wrong because I think the world is going to know your name I think right now they're going to know your name because you are going right all we can do is keep breathing [Applause] now can I get a hug can I get a hug wow you are amazing all that I know [Applause] is you know what I predict for you I think you are the next little Taylor swind thank you so much wow how he Golden Buzzer how's it feel I feel like this I'm kind of just Day Dreaming I'm getting ready to wake up well this is going to be a long dream because you're going straight through to the live show you see the hello how are you I'm good how are you I'm nervous very good don't be nervous thank you what's your name my name is Christian Gardino and Christian how old are you I'm 16 years old okay tell me tell me who you're here with Christian um my mom's here with me okay what do your school friends say about you coming on the show I only told like a few people like my very best friend your very best friend yeah okay are you a singer yeah and tell me when you first started singing Christian um I've been singing for as long as I can remember okay I have a good feeling about you uh we've got rid of the nerves now we got to know each other right yes sir okay Simon not sir sorry Simon Okay Christian best of luck thank you [Applause] [Applause] we had you [Applause] I and wrong my did and g s you been away don't don't you know I sit around with my head hanging down and I wonder who's Loving You life without love is all so Lely I don't think I don't think I'm going to make it oh my love oh my life baby was lost to you only so come on and take it girl come on and take it because I I sit around with my head hanging down and I wonder [Applause] [Music] love in [Applause] youing I [Applause] wonder who loving [Music] thank you so [Music] much Christian I need 10 seconds here because I've actually I don't know what to say right now I mean what just happened and if you can make one wish right now this second to make something come true for yourself what would you wish right the second yes probably the golden buzzer well your wish just came true [Applause] hi my lovely hi welcome to America's Got Talent how are you um a little bit nervous that's okay to be nervous that's totally understandable what's your name Courtney and how old are you 13 13 um what's your favorite subject in school music what kind of music don't know you're very sweet and I'm guessing you're going to be singing for us yeah listen don't be nervous I know this is a big stage and there's lots of people here but you're here for a reason so go for it and good luck thank you [Music] [Applause] [Music] oh my God I you watch but you got to off with me and got some good old and then I got Stu when I got to for it all you got to come back for more oh i s [Applause] pretty little my m so to handle now [Applause] get [Music] the got Su my ass don't be afraid I want to P every word I say I'm left so you can play so head with me what it com that ain't nothing but T pretty [Applause] bloody hell Cory you like this shiny little thing when you first came out and then you sing and you're like a lion I mean genuinely incredible Howe what did you think oh my gosh you are not from this era you're from a whole different era and I'm a huge Janice Joplin fan and there's a story if you ever watch the documentary Clyde Davis he goes to the Monteray Pop Festival and he sees this young girl that nobody has ever seen before that nobody knows it was the first time Janice Joplin got signed and that would that changed her life do you know that story yeah I'm not CL Davis I'm Hoy Mandel and I can't sign you to a record deal the only thing I can do for you young lady is give you you you feel like you know you are welcome what's your name uh my name is Joseph Allen tell us about yourself uh I go to school out in Phoenix Arizona uh yeah do they also go to school in Phoenix I think they go to my same [Laughter] school yeah and how old are you I'm 21 what are you going to do here for tonight uh I'm going to I'm going to perform a song I wrote for you guys oh an original original song yeah yeah an original song yes and why did you decide to enter the show this year I see myself as being someone who can make a Major Impact in the world and I just want to see how much of a footprint I could leave on Earth before I leave I am so intrigued yeah you got to let us see it now good luck thank you he's serious I don't know I don't know okay okay okay [Music] okay in life moments come and go take a shot or you'll never know your heart will tell you when it's time to move ask yourself what you got to lose when it storms when it rains it falls on all of us the same but after today the world's going to know my [Music] name everybody backstage please don't be scared cuz up close Simon looks just like a teddy bear a couple steps up off the stage watch how far that I go and I'mma Fe my f with this and that's no put the competition in my backpack I'm trying to be incredible like my my birth name was jackj and now I'm standing on this stage here at AGT dreams do come true and you can take it from me just one man who has Drive determination in my eyes if they don't say that I work hard for this trust me they Li make the crowd say oh yeah knock it out like day I'm all about pushing the limits not about pushing papers do you feel me America can you hear me this young man's out here chasing dreams I hope you see that clearly my entire future man I put it on the line hey so I got to make it now before I'm out of time moment com and go take a sh or you never know your heart will tell you when it's time to move ask yourself what you got to lose when it storms when it rains it falls on all of us the same but after today the world's going to know money standing [Applause] oh oh my God yeah tell us what you're feeling right now I just feel blessed man I feel blessed this is crazier than I thought man is your family here tonight yeah yeah yeah they're right that's a big family I grew up in a blended family but they all played a major part in Me growing up I just want to thank all you guys you guys raised a dream or man and we're doing it listen dreams come true on this stage and I'm I think we're seeing your dream come true I'm sorry I look like a punk up here right now I'm a punkette then because I am literally crying as well yeah there's a new generation with Millennials and like putting out there what is good in this world and I believe you are so good and thank you so much I'm a fan do I do this do I do this 11 you know you got the best reaction for doing nothing we've ever had on this show like you got a standing ovation before you even performed and I'm thinking I I like one step behind here and I said to J is this serious or not and I think it is I tell you what the whole world should go to your school right now [Applause] seriously you got amazing energy I've got to tell you thank you son and I like your voice as well I think you got a great tone I might not be the best singer in the world but man I love to perform I love you what matters I love you look Joseph First Impressions to me or everything and watching the reaction you got before you even started like I said was astonishing that was an amazing audition I love you thank you thank you from the moment you walked out your smile is electric you know and you walked out with such exuberance and such and and that's what life is you know life is a series of moments people at home are talking about this moment people in this room are talking about this moment people just want this moment to happen now you said you want to leave a footprint well I'm going to give you the footprint you need car Le [Applause] [Music] [Applause] oh my gosh it is so nice to see you again it is so great to be here to perform for at the Champions I'm so so excited um Angelica uh I actually think coming second on a show like how is probably the hardest thing particularly your age to deal with and yeah you know tonight I really am fighting for my place here at AGT Champions and I think this song really applies to what I'm doing here today good good and that makes you a [Applause] champion like a small B on the ocean sending big wav into motion like how a single one can make a heart open I might only have one match but I can make it explos and all those things I didn't say wrecking BS inside my brain I will scream them about tonight can you hear my voice this time this is my fight so take back my life so prove I'm all right oh man they are on their feet now I'll be strong I'll play my fight and I don't again if nobody else believe cuz I still got a lot of f left in me like a small bone on the ocean sending big words into [Music] motion this is my V take that's my life so R up more [Music] right my power is stting right now I blame my [Music] find and I turn again nobody else Hey cuz I still got a lot of fight left in me thank you all so so right she was one her up but now she could make it all the way you do have an incredible voice and you are this little ball of you like a firecracker and I can also see your hunger to win this competition but having said that I thought you would have taken this song and put your own Angelica Twist on it because you have the tools to do that with your level where your vocals are so perfect you can afford to take a bigger risk oh man Howie what do you think well you know you are amongst Champions you show up and you rip the ceiling off of this theater you really do and you know what that was your fight song and if I can do anything I'm going to help you win this [Applause] fight strong I will move and you should know I me I can't believe this is actually happening to me I mean I I never expected this to happen I want to thank you so much this is deserve it you deser it wow Angelica you are through to the finals let's hear it one more time for Angelica what is your name my name is Brandon leak hi Brandon leak and where you from from Brandon I am from a small little city called Stockton California Stockton California and what do you do for a living uh for a living I I work at a high school and a college but I also run poetry workshops with youth in my city well that's wonderful uh I don't really understand poetry I'm going to be honest with you I'm a great intro for you I so to tonight's poem is it's something you wrote Oh I only perform stuff that I write never be able to perform anything else what and what is it what is this one about so tonight's poem is actually uh an Ode to my sister are you close to your sister very much she's here with me now oh she's back backstage kind of well we already love you make us love your poem beautiful I got you for that I have two facts for you one I'm 6 feet tall and two love is the most vulnerable thing one will ever have and you must learn to hold on to it Loosely so when it leaves it won't exit so painfully on July 14th 1996 an angel was brought to this earth her name Danielle Marie Gibson but I only know her as Puff her smile is as wide as the universe her eyes they glimmer like the star she is my world and my sister I just four years old at the time learned what it meant to love selflessly for on days and watch my strength was but knee high sing her smiling face would make my soul fly but on March 23rd 1997 I've been ground bound because she left Earth to go back home amongst the Stars right next to God but I was left here to Manufactured wings out of tears and Broken Dreams yet I'm still haunted by these nightmares cuz I have a really creative mind and sometimes it designs these alternate realities where she is still here still alive and all the things I wish we could have done I played again and again and again and I'm tired of playing God cuz I got to come to terms with the fact that my sister ain't never coming back and that's the cost of Love caring for someone so much that you can't imagine living life without them staring at a grave like how about I trade my six feet for yours but that's not real and I know I said earlier to hold on to love Loosely so when it leaves it won't exit so painfully but if this pain and these memories are all that I got left of you I won't never regret these scars from just trying to hold on to [Music] you wow it is a wowa memories are what they used to be you're tearing up my brother passed away the same year that your sister passed away man yeah I can feel your pain I know what this is I know what it is to have somebody taken from you without you knowing but it was very beautiful for me thank you what an amazing tribute there's something very very special about you thank you really this is a very difficult thing for me to judge I shouldn't be judging it I just want to compliment you on what you just did because it was uh extraordinary thank you for so much so much well it's amazing to me that on season 15 it's the first time that we're hearing somebody of spoken word there was something more raw in the way it's like singing and talking and just being a human Acappella no music no nothing just a raw heart beating in front of us we feel your pain we feel your love and you moved me to do this they speak of a they speak of kingom Kingdoms and how they come they speak of freedom fre you're amazing buddy when you were on AGT did it change your life yeah it did because we had a live show in Las Vegas and they played Las Vegas yeah and a movies being made on the Journey of V unbeatable crew in India wow is it really on movie can ask a question do you think you're going to win this time yeah we were very disappointed we couldn't get that title but there's always a second chance in life and we are hoping to get the Champions title and prove our talent that we are the champions good fear show us and show the world what the Brilliance of Mumbai is do it thank you thank you so much [Applause] yes I feel excited for this [Applause] [Music] [Applause] I [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Applause] [Music] B [Applause] [Music] [Applause] that was absolutely incredible I everyone is standing right in front of me from the only one wow wow wow thank you oh my goodness where do I stop thank you that was insane that was insane I can see on your faces just how much this means to all of you thank you so much for bringing such a beautiful positive energy AGT Champions that was absolutely outstanding we needed you tonight trust me every time you come out you do something more creative more interesting I think this act is going to tour I think it's going to live forever and I think this has probably been one of the best acts we've seen in Champions this year I believe that I love you and I love what you do and I love what it means to you when you didn't win AGT the disappointment you had we felt like a knife going into our heart but disappointment only lasts a moment this is a moment this is the moment you have been waiting for just sit there and think about this moment time stand still I'm feeling so much and it's all right here and I just got to trust that you're the one time has come so tell me baby what you going [Applause] [Music] to we all have pain we all have sorrow [Music] but we are wise we know that there always to tomor won't you stand won't you stand by [Music] by when you need a [Applause] friend Stand By Me you can call on me and I'll be come on you need just might have a problem that you need somebody to lead on won you st by me sister won't just stand by me come find [Applause] me stand by me she is so [Applause] good wow go one word comes to mind and it's heroic you know and you know it is and in every way and what a perfect stong Stand By Me You Stand by people you don't know you watch horror and you watch strength and I thought I just want to stand by you and I want to stand by you over [Applause] here you know why I want to stand for you so that I can do I think to myself Oh What a Wonderful World [Music] [Applause] northw nurse choire you are going straight to the large shows in Hollywood hello Hi how are you good nice to meet you nice to meet you too uh and what's your name please victory victory victory that's nice uh how old are you Victory I'm nine okay and tell us a bit about you I live in the TR Pennsylvania yeah ah and and what and what okay and and tell me what you going to do today are you going to you're going to sing yes okay are you excited I'm ex nervous you're nervous and excited excited and nervous you said ex nervous ex nervous ex nervous ex nervous I love that well that's good and who are you here with today my mom a um and what would you do if you won the million dollars buy Simon a rainbow shirt that has glitter on it oh I love that wow do you think I need a rainbow shirt you need some color because I already wear like normally one color Yes white gray and black you've got it well look let's hope this goes great for you thank you [Music] have fun [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] chist you to [Applause] live l [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] amaz [Applause] [Music] [Applause] yeah oh my goodness woo look the bird oh my go I know there's a bird just blew in here she came to visit you Victory I mean that is pretty incredible that is a sign he flew and sat there for you w that's the sign okay all right how what did you think well I was not expecting that and you're Angelic and I loved it I loved it I loved it too you have a beautiful voice it was incredible you are incredible thank you amazing I agree you are a star I think you have a powerful voice that was amazing I really loved it thank you Simon what did you think I think you know auditioning and turning up sometimes is really really important for your career and I think you've been incredibly Brave to come here I have to say can I I just want to talk to Terry for one moment Terry let me ask you a question yes yes can I have a word do you mind sorry me what is wrong I don't know what happened how would you feel if we were to do something different I just how do you feel that yeah 100% um look Victory as I said you know turning up you know in terms of your career is really important however um we're not going to give you a yes today we're going to do something else we've never ever ever done on the show before we are all going to give you something special 5 4 3 2 [Applause] one let we know this could be the end of everything somewh we somewhere there we know how old are you 11 years old me and your name is Madison Taylor Bas and where you from yinda California is this the first time you've been at a taping no I've been to many tapings and ever since I was 4 years old I would always try and sing for the commercial breaks and it's always been my dream to be on the show and I'm finally here sorry I'm just kind of freaking out right now A that's so cute yes Amazing Grace how sweet the sound that I sa like [Applause] me was but now I'm found was my but now I [Applause] see gra appear the our be [Applause] in all the years we've ever done this this has never actually happened before do you sing at school I sing for some of the school events but everybody's going to know your name now young lady your life has just changed what would you do with a million dollars um I would help my dad with uh cancer research um he has stage for callon cancer for the past 9 years so I would help him with that [Music] oh I think I know which way this is going to go we're just going to vote Go With It Howe from the audience seats right to the live show was every night the brightest colors F my headon dreams to keep it me the world to be you're going right to the finals oh you're amazing amazing oh my God oh my God all right Maddie you just got the golden buzzer from ho [Music] Mandel and what's your dad's name Chris how are you feeling Chris doing good doing good I just want you know I've been battling cancer for the last 9 years and that's how she learned to sing she would sing to me at the hospital throughout my only surgeries while my chemo treatment singing to me and and helping me get better and I'm doing very well amazing and now you're standing there with your wonderful dad and you are a little star one more time for Maddie everybody well how are you good welcome where are you from Mississippi and you a grew yes our name is Chapel har okay and what does that mean we grew up in a small community called heart's Chapel it's the name it's named after our family cuz there's way too many of us okay so how do you know each other so Danica and I are sisters and tri is our first cousin and uh cuz I I used to love um American girl bands you know from a roundabout the 19 the best ERA you want to bring that back yes I hope so and tell me where you see yourselves in 5 years time if you do well on the show world domination world domination I like that okay who is the biggest diva Dan okay no hesitation on that one she's the most dramatic oh yeah well you've got to have a diva in a group you have to so tell what you going to sing and why you chose it so we're going to sing uh it's an original song uh it's called you can have him Jolene and uh we've always been country music fans and Dolly is by far our favorite dolly for president dolly for president yall uh we were so inspired by the song Jolene and we just loveed the storyline and we figured though from 1973 to 2022 we could not still be fighting over the same man we decided to tell her you can just have him Jolene I like I love that okay well look two three minutes literally can change your lives on this show let's see what's going to happen let's try I like them [Music] [Applause] [Music] already W since last song I've had time to think it over a lot of Tears a lot of fear a lot of wine I spent so much time believing that that midnight F stop ringing but he'd leave the room and answer every time well it didn't seem so easy with that broken glass in pieces you holding me and saying you were wrong well I'm tired a second chances he sad sad circumstances he's your problem good luck keeping him home you can hand cuz it don't mean much to me well I've cried so much till Rivers turn to Seas [Applause] I when you think that he's love you Sur like he did me well you can have him Jo somebody get out your seat tonight [Applause] H I fix my crown from leaning and those Wedding Bells stop ringing I took my keys and threw them at his door cuz I found a man who loves me and you give me all I need what woman could ask for anymore I Jo you can have them cuz it don't mean much to me well I've cried so much to Rivers turn to se oh Joly when you take that is love is truly like he did me you can have him on your you can have him to [Applause] oh my God the energy in here is amazing trust me I needed you today I mean that was fantastic amazing I love you and I love the chorography going on around you I mean it was just brilliant let me ask you a question have you been trying to get a record deal or a big break break or I mean tell me we've been trying to break into Nashville for the last couple years but it's been kind of hard when I think country music doesn't always look like us and so you know what you're going to do sometimes you've just got to break down that door and you may have just broken down the door with that performance trust me Howie I was looking at your face you were loving it first all I believe you broke down the door I love the song I love the energy I love the look you say country music doesn't look like you that is your win because you are going to be the original Heidi your joy is infectious and everything that you're giving like it's received over here and I loved it sopia everything was perfect the song the energy you guys look like you've been doing this for a long time and I'm so proud of you guys you know what trust me if I hadn't used my golden buzzer I would give you a golden buzzer me too you can give it a try if you want [Applause] I have an idea do you like them I think you're totally unique we hav't we don't have anyone like this how do you feel about the group I feel this is really special I like this really okay all right let's do [Applause] it five 4 3 2 [Applause] 1 here I am here I am here I am Chaple heart you have just received a groop golden Buzzle you are going straight to the live show thank you so much my God we needed you I love you [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Applause] you dream doesn't matter I'm 32 years old and I'm from France welcome and uh what is your talent I bring some friends and we are there to represent the new creation of my brother sadic who create this Beast we call that Mur and we bring 65 then so on stage ooh that sounds very nice I don't think we've ever had anything like that before I'm very excited to meet all your friends good luck to you thank you thank you so much thank you look at all the people oh wow it keeps going that was a lot 65 they're going to be the Blindfolded a oh [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] wow [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] w [Applause] [Music] Mar I mean you guys were so amazingly in sync even though you couldn't see anything yes and there's so many of you but it was so elegant with so much grace I thought it was fantastic it's spectacular thank you so much at the beginning it reminded me of my golden boser last year the Maya but you guys have your own style and I thought it was magnificent I think it's very original and I find it almost more magnificent when you get a large group of people and the movements are smaller but perfect you know it blew me away I just wanted I want to I don't know how to I wanted I wanted I don't know oh [Music] [Applause] [Music] oh she said she' be down to hanging out with the parents out of town she was hoping I'm around for a party a [Music] Ving I said I come showed up and fell out of place so I headed home she BR my I I realized every time I never say World wor the be alive you don't know you if it's me the really get was I even [Applause] tast all [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] do you keep yourself is a with [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] like you [Applause] [Music] [Applause] I've been hiding in the sh that amazing that was gross never how it all we're all thinking the same thing yes yeah right Terry we all loved you so much that we collectively would like to give you something special I got my best suit on I'm ready [Applause] got go you're going to see me R rise oh rise yeah TB Unity you just received the group Golden Buzzer you are going straight to the live show [Applause] congratulations you are going to make this season very very special balance kids and we are from Ukraine and we're finalists from season 14 could your families come with you or is it just you guys some of our parents like my father is still on the war in Ukraine he's fighting for our country for Independence when AGT called us we were so glad that we have a chance to dance together on one stage again and to show the world that light always wins yes and we are going to show our spirit to win I think you are unbelievably brave and you have out total respect thanks thank you so much we're very grateful thank you good luck [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] the a [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] St Ang oh the [Music] [Music] [Applause] wow place is [Applause] rocket OMG light balance kids and some more old and some older people because of the situation on our country some of them just haven't managed to come so we asked that L balance to help us I know if you guys could see me I was dancing right down here with all of you because this was such a fun party and it needs to be longer thank you so much thanks Simon what did you think about what you just saw let me tell you something it was your best performance you've ever done really by a mile absolutely I mean I cannot tell you how brilliant that was I mean you telling us your story on top of that makes it even more poignant what I'm about to say which is if anything defines an allar it was that performance really thank you so much it's very important for us you've always been one of my favorite acts that I have seen in the history of America's Got Talent and there's such an amazing message here where you come from at at this point it's arguably the darkest place in the world and you come across the globe to bring us light and if I can do anything anything on behalf of America on behalf of AGT Allstars to bring you even more light than you brought us I'd like to do that that for you I see [Music] [Applause] STS the [Applause] light hello darkness my old friend [Music] I've come to talk with you [Music] again because of vision softly [Music] creeping left it seem while I was sleeping and the fion that was planted in my brain Still Remains within the sound of silence and in the naked light I saw 10,000 people maybe [Music] more people talking without speaking people hearing without listening people writing songs that voices never shed no one de the sound of the and the people bur and pra to the KN of God they made and the sign flashed out it warning in the world that it Wasing and the sign said the words of the Prophet how on [Applause] theway and Whisper the S of Silence [Music] this place is on its feet okay Tom I'm I'm actually angry about something what is it I wish this was the first time I'd ever heard Tom in a weird way you're like Susan Bo's grandson because do is not what we expect for me this is the best performance I've seen all series absolutely it's surprising in so many ways you're only 24 years old and Simon and Garfunkle are a lot older than that but you do it so right it really was you're really amazing thank you it was outstanding it was larger than life I mean you have all the you can hit all the notes you have the pipes for it I thought it was amazing thank you thank [Music] you this is the song If you'd have done this I believe you would have won the show that year cuz that was incredible thank you hey hey guys s things happening here we go are you ready let's do this you feeling good ready you ready you ready what I want you got might be hard to handle like a flame burn a CLE CLE Fe she thank you are good they're really good I mean yes here are the ramadani brothers and I mean I'm already so excited because you can see already everyone is so excited to see you you thank you thank thank you I wish you good luck okay can we just talk about this contraption look at this contraption is this your mentor yes on Judgement Day I won't fade away I'll be pushing till my day I won't give it all the way I'll be pushing away the riv that's one leg I'll be I'll be [Applause] pushing I'll be [Applause] pushing I'll be pushing on Ping On judement day yes I going F away do not try this at home oh no is Bri fored is going to war yes no [Music] how does he even know watch watch this oh watch this oh my gosh [Music] [Music] [Applause] there are no Nets [Applause] [Music] I'll be pushing on I'll be pushing on [Applause] [Applause] I'll be pushing I'll [Applause] ping no [Music] [Applause] [Applause] he's looking real shaky my heart stop at least three [Applause] times God that was no you're not allowed to not your [Applause] [Music] brother I mean you are incredible the best the best of the best thank you now why would you do that like you are unbelievable there's no there's not enough words there's not enough words honestly thank Simon for me I like to feel that we're judging this show based on what we've seen eat do before and I thought there must be a ceiling and you've just broken through the [Music] ceiling I still think you can do better what what I'm going to be honest I think you can do better how you can no they're [Applause] amazing hey hey you can do better you can do better how you can do so much better with with oh my god with the right with the [Applause] [Music] right take me in I'm surrender I can do what I with you with you [Music] [Applause] I oh look at hoe has taken the ramadani brothers from Heidi's Dream Team what do you want to say Howie you'll never have to wear lame pants again I wrote this song from my hero mom this song is for you [Applause] I'm lost with nowhere to hide but you open up my eyes turn Darkness into light I fall boy you catch me every time you lead me to new heights the slow will never die let me up to overcome all the with your love always right by my push me to keep on dreaming thank you for [Music] just with you in my life a you so love it is my guide this song is for you the turny up you and [Music] I you and [Music] die so thank you for never giving up on me for selfless devotion you are my hero you are my everything so with you in my life your your love is my guide this song is for you the Journey of you and I [Music] I'm lost with nowhere to hide but you open up my eyes you are my Guiding Light Cody Lee Simon oh Cody gosh I got all emotional now uh you wrote that song for your mom obviously and Tina you are like a little lioness aren't you you really are uh you've always been there by his side and this is the second time obviously in a row Cody's now singing his own material uh which is a huge step up and I am so proud of you thank you so much kidi I mean what a beautiful love letter to your mother your appreciation I mean it doesn't get more heartfelt than what you've just done it was beautiful absolutely beautiful thank you so much what a gift to AGT what a gift to Talent Cody Lee you are the biggest gift I have ever experienced on this stage you know I believe that everybody on my dream team has what it takes to make it to the end but uh I can always use more what let me move over Cody oh my God you're on Dream Team how [Applause] that was amazing that was amazing that was amazing love you but oh no we don't want to leave Simon what I don't want to leave Simon you don't want to leave Simon did you just say you don't want to doesn't matter it's not up to you Cody Lee you just received the golden buzzer from har mandelle but stay with me you have been taken from Simon Cowell's Dream Team over to Ho's Dream Team [Applause] reluctantly right now make a whole lot of noise for Golden Buzzer Cody Lee who's going right to the finals hi hi who are you my name is Zach hi Zach where are you from Zach I'm from Sydney Australia oh get hello I love Australia yeah it's a beautiful place yeah isn't it amazing when you walk inia you were just taking it all in all it's incredible there's a lot of people have you ever performed in front of so many people before no definely not how old are you Zach I'm 17 okay oh baby so I see already there is a mat on here you will be probably doing some amazing dance performance yes that's you're right I am who is going to be your first phone call if it goes well today my mom for sure yeah Zach I wish you good luck thank you very much lights out how's that oh I'm excited for [Applause] this what's that that's Zach 30 30 years you been drag in your feet telling me I'm the reason we're stagnant 30 years you been claiming promising progress for where that I don't want you to feel like a failure now it's my turn so without further Ado I like to introduce my my album my my album myb May hope what's my definition of success listening to what your heart says standing up for what you know is right everybody else is talking their legs what's my definition of success creating something no one else can being brave enough to dream biging when you told to just quit when you got nothing left person that'll take a chance on something that would talk can never happen more perfect cuz they rather do something that they really love and take the pay cut it's a person that would never ra them or change through they are just to try and gain some credibility so they can feel accepted by a stranger it's believing in yourself no one else do it's amazing what a little bit of Faith can't do if you don't even believe in you why would you think or expect anybody else that's around you too I didn't did things that I regret I didn't said things I can take back was a a lost soul at a crossroad who had no hope but I changed that I spent years of my life holding on the things I never should have kept full of hatred years of my life carrying a lot of baggage that I should have walked away from years on my life wishing I was someone different looking for some validation years on my life trying to feel theet they get it necessary evil difficult toal mental break down is a negative thing which I I agre having make you really take a step back and look in the mirror at least for me that's what it did wake up every day and pick my son up P him in my arms and let him know he's love love standing by the window questioning if that is ever going to show up up I forgive you I just don't want him to girl thinking that he'll never be enough 30 years of running 30 years of searching 30 years of hurting 30 years of pass 30 years of never 30 years of maybe 30 years of later 30 years of f 30 years of 30 years ofor 30 years of Darkness 30 years of 30 years of B 30 years of 30 years of 30 years of CH 30 years of 30 years of suffing 30 years of coming 30 years of 30 years of bitter 30 years of Lon 30 years pushing everyone work you don't have the heart you don't have the sh you don't have the work you don't have the fith you never be L you never be safe might as well give up not running away you don't have to gut you're the one afraid I'm the one to charge I'm taking the I'm taking the [Applause] [Music] [Applause] we oh my gosh Zach that was so exciting thank you very much I mean you came with more friends of yours from Australia I'm assuming hi everyone this was a very very very very exciting dance beautiful it was also something we haven't seen before really entertaining very well done thank you friends we see a lot of dancing that's my favorite part of being a judge of AGT is to be able to watch dancers to watch what humans can do with their bodies the beginning was spectacular and the rest was as good as the beginning thank you very much thank you that was for sure the coolest thing I've seen today thank you I mean apart from what they were doing with their bodies it's what they were doing with their brains because this was such a really wellth thought out creative Thank You original even though there was a lot of you it was almost like there was just one I'm guessing this took months and months to prepare right yes it did right and I could see just after how much it means to each one of you individually that's the kind of audition we love on this show how where did how we go ho yeah I thought everything you did was amazing ho it was a surprise where [Applause] [Music] [Applause] har Lean on Me Le your not I be I you you won't be I'm going where is that there there you are congratul buddy you're amazing thank you I appreciate it hello hey hi how are you I'm good how are you very well and what is your name please Reed Wilson very nice to meet you Reed nice to meet you too and where are you from um I'm from Alabama oh fantastic all right okay and how old are you re I'm 14 years old 14 okay I'm guessing you're going to sing yes I am okay so how long have you been singing for I've been singing all my life but um the the past year I've been kind of working on it a lot more and um singing in front of people more and just pursuing it cuz it's definitely my dream all right Reed we are all rooting for you and I always say this and it's happened 2 minutes really really can change your life yes so let's see what we can do all right all right he is so nervous you imagine what this is like come [Music] on You Don't Own Me I'm not just one y many toys You Don't Own Me don't say I can't go like other Bo and don't tell me what to do don't tell me what to say and please when I go up with you don't put me on display cuz you don't know me don't try to change me anyway you don't own me take that mic man me down better I don't tell you what to say I don't tell you what to do so just let me be myself that's all I of you I'm young and I love to be young I'm free and I got to be free to live my life the way that I want to say and do whatever I [Music] [Applause] please amazing very good [Applause] [Music] [Applause] how do you feel Mom I'm really proud he was really nervous well though Reed well Reed we won expecting that hi I think you're absolutely incredible thank you so much I love how you also took your mic off and then you just gave a little bit more stage presents well done Sophia you were so nervous at the beginning I'm like oh my God he's not going to be able to put his stuff together but you did and you did amazingly it sounded spectacular for me you know I shut my eyes for a moment when you were singing just listen to your voice and then I open them again and there's this sweet young kid is there one artist that's inspire you read um yes I love ARA Franklin so much that's definitely the dream to have like a big name like that she was the best wasn't she your parents must have great taste in music right no yeah he sold you out he sold you out [Applause] I was bulled over because I was surprised I got surprised first of all you're just a 14-year-old kid from Alabama so I would imagine I put myself in your position I you were very nervous and you did come off incredibly nervous that was a surprise yes MH you know what that stage is where dreams come true yes do you believe in dreams I do yes while one of them is about to come [Applause] too oh my God [Applause] me you say I when I can't feel anything you say I strong when I think I'm weak you say I am hell when I am fall sure when I don't belong oh you say I your and I believe oh I believe what you say of me I believe oh I believe congratulations buddy you are amazing he is amazing so surprising yeah how do you feel we I'm a little star struck honestly just thank you so much thank you all of you guys but especially one more time for we W you see tonight could go either way hearts balance on a razor blade we are designed to love and break and to rinse and repeat it all again I get stuck when the world's too loud things don't look up when you going down know you're reaching out from somewhere beyond the clouds you make me feel like my TR bu and my is away you make me feel like I'm drun stars and we're dancing out in space celesti [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] CES we were made to be nothing more than this fun and magic in all the smallest things we we notice that's what really matters let's make tonight go on and on and on we were made to be nothing more than this and magic all the way we noce that's what really matters go and on and you make me feel like my Tred heart is a Million Miles Away you me feel star [Music] [Applause] dancing we to be nothing more than this we [Applause] [Music] know air footworks Simon wow yeah Simon what did you think of this thank you you Terry um I am I am just about to get myself fired no [Applause] okay I got to clear this up how we got there first this is how he golden forther air footworks Simon want to take the credit ho how this is your golden bu it was your night M this is mine this is my gold kichi I love you you guys are athletes you guys are dancers you guys are creatives you guys are magicians you guys are thank you how does this feel getting a live golden buzzer from both hoe and somewhat Simon Cal yeah so I dream a lot of time for this moment my come [Applause] to okay [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] oh sound off UFO flying [Applause] my Jamaican mother wants me to lose weight but she doesn't know how to tell me she's in New York she comes to La you know how you see your parents you become a child again I'm like oh my God mommy she's like Jain Lord I Mercy you fight Jesus you're a f what you eating people I don't like weight loss TV shows if you love that show The Biggest Loser you and I can't be friends friends you know how that show work gu somebody's overweight you lock them on an island and they have to work out 8 hours a day seven days a week and oh yeah we're going to make you wear a small spandex bra and baby panties and where you want to scale then for cattle on national TV wouldn't you lose weight who's losing these contests you want to impress me get a bunch of fatties and lock them in a donut shop the first one to not go into a diabetic home up wins that's the show I was aor how did I get into this how do I make noises I don't know I grew up making noises I can't stop it man when I was growing up I lived next to an active Runway my father was in the Air Force so that meant every few [Applause] seconds that was me my mom wasn't prepared for that why is the six-month old baby making noises now later on in life I learned that these sounds can get you in trouble give you an example on an aircraft this is what I did not allowed to do this don't do that on the plane man if you go they're going to think it's real I did that freaking C don't do that this is Barbara Walters and today on my show I have award-winning actress Natalie pman Natalie I hear you're having a baby I am Barbara we're thinking of naming the baby oscar but that's that that's silly because that's my cat's name so hey y'all it's Bal sarus what's up good what Dad no I'm not going to clean my room right now want me to clean out your bank account you do jokes I do Impressions I got it I could do jokes I'm sure you could could you do an impression yes yes I could do an impression go ahead do it what do it do it all right I will do an impression yeah and then you tell me who I'm doing okay all right let me think King Kardashian what you are tweeting without thinking Donald Trump no it's cheap it's cheap animals it's a crapshoot crapshoot come on all right now listen I have an impression okay I am not a professional that's fine all right tell me who this is ready yeah who's this I did not have sexual relations with that one Elton John in what world do you live in Rebecca where some 17-year-old dude is show to this house party like y'all not going to believe this I got Peno gasio yeah got that greo let's do shots of Shard and a let's start a book club yeah it's never happened right you don't know a 17-year-old that owns a cork screw that's weird all right not one time in your entire life can you tell me a time where you've seen a 17y old dude be like this Mero pairs so well with the Doritos Locos Taco oh that's good it's just something about Zen finales in a Hot Pocket that is to die for and I worked at this grocery store for a lot of hateful years why is it when you hate your job they won't fire you and now look I worked in the worst department at the grocery store not the meat not produce not the freezer I worked in the steel Department you familiar with the steel Department right self checkout lane I got paid to watch people steal all day and people think you stupid like you know when they going to rob you when they ringing up their stuff they always got to look back up at you they're like boop boop this one dude tried to humiliate me like I knew he was going to rob us cuz I'm looking at him he's looking at me I'm like just steal it but he tries to play me in front of the entire store while he's ringing his stuff up he makes the beat noise with his mouth he didn't even do it right like you got to act this out go all in raise your pitch at least he's [Music] like like the produce is not even supposed to make a sound you're beeping un beable stuff when I got invited to come in America's Got Talent Champions it was like all my dreams came through at once I thought he was going to be a singer so I decided to do some research search on the judges did you know that backstage there are five hairdresses three makeup artists a wardrobe department and a whole team of nutritionists and that's just to maintain Simon's new [Applause] look hiy mom told me that you are Victoria's Secret surp model and she showed me one of your videos but then Dad came home from work and we watched all your videos over and over again I got a motorcycle I don't like telling people I have a motorcycle cuz every time I tell someone they always got to tell me a story about how the friends crashed on a motorcycle you know like why do people have to be so negative I don't go up the pregnant women telling them my dad left you know what I'm saying so annoying so annoying I walked at my apartment one time right I walked in my apartment and my neighbor walked up to me she was like oh my God you got a motorcycle are you stars are you start you better be careful I got in a car wreck the other day my car flipped eight times I'm luy to be alive blessed right she black by the way everyone around us was like you know that was that is crazy that your car flip eight times you're alive you are blessed you know and I'm I'm over here thinking who the heck counted right like who is that calm when their cars flipping in the air one like who's doing that my name is preacher thank you so much I appreciate it that's no we need more we need more I'm kind of Clueless you know but it seems to me kids today are a little bit entitled am right right okay so my daughter turns 16 and she says mom I want to go to coella and I want you to get me a hotel room oh yeah I know I'm like you're 16 listen to yourself a hotel room I mean if you can't find a guy who can afford a van by now I mean really oh my god when I grew up my mom and her friends they partied 24/7 you know they always always brought flasks on field trips okay right so I go on my daughter's first field trip I take my flask right Howe I'm not going to get on a bus full of first graders sober not n whatever okay I take out my flask you know have a little sip and all the other field trip moms they just go ballistic they're like she's got a flask she's got a flask you know like I'm some kind of terrorist right like calm down Bach I'm not driving this bus I can teach you how to do Ryan Reynolds But first you have to do Jim cary's voice and in order to do Jim Carrey just imagine yourself as a giant Canadian bird okay hi there judges a I have some voices for [Laughter] you take that Canadian bird down to a sexy whisper and you have Ryan Reynolds hi there I have some voices for you judges I hope you enjoyed it that did sound like R re oh my God okay here's how to do Seth Rogan's voice yeah take Santa Claus's laugh ho ho ho now imagine Santa Claus eats a different kind of cookie [Applause] this is a crazy job I just lie down chimneys and I deliver packages to kids and eat their cookies now you can do that I have a twin sister and I actually don't talk a lot about being a twin because people ask really stupid twin questions like whenever I say I'm an identical twin without fail someone will go do you guys look alike we are very different personality-wise me and my sister I'm very silly and playful my sister's very dark and sarcastic and she has low self-esteem which is weird cuz she has my face do you know what it's like when someone that looks exactly like you calls you up and goes I feel so ugly good that is our face you know I'm not from California but I look like I am just another wobbly guy on the sidewalk I made eight bucks walking over here thank you hey can you guys see this bracelet yeah yeah good makeing sure [Laughter] you everybody always thinks that this is one of those copper magnetic healing bracelets like hey does that thing work I'm like oh yeah man I was in a wheelchair last [Applause] week I'mma put it on this arm next week I better take it off soon though you know I don't want to get too better might mess up my show and then I have to figure out how to be a magic singing ventriloquist or whatever let's just say we're not getting a puppet on that thing oh my God I just got the citizenship yeah until I got my citizenship I never had a road rage if somebody cut me off I'd be like oh so sorry I was driving too slow but today I got the citizenship somebody cut me off I'm like what the heck you can't cut me off this is my land that's when I realized I become true American oh that's great he's hilarious because I felt entitled oh before the citizenship somebody hold the door for me I run really fast I'm like thank you so much after the citizenship I'm like yeah you hold the door you peasant I got sassy I love her it's very hard of me growing up he used to call me a huge waste you see both of my parents wanted me to become a lawyer never even came close to becoming a lawyer but I was once involved in a suit but I've since traveled the world went to Spain fell madly in love with a Spanish sundress and we broke up and I was pantalones yeah I love him but I'm happily married now a my wife and I are Polly it's polyester our daughter Capri brought home a pair of sweatpants hey I want to be a supportive father but I want to see her date someone iron with a crease this guy looked like he'd been donated she asked if he could spend the night I said in my house you'll sleep in separate drawers you know the problem when you go to a nursing home and you look like me yeah they wouldn't let me out the only reason I'm here tonight is I had to get a night pass from the front desk the first thing I found out when I get old is that young people hate old people is that right really did you ever drive behind an old person yes does this look familiar yes yeah the worst thing I'm experiencing now at 80 is that my hearing has gotten awful I'm talking to this woman the other day and she tells me she has a peanut allergy right I misheard the word I said what happen she said I start choking and gagging I applied to work at the Coco Foundation when I was in college uh and they rejected me because I have hearing loss but yes Boo the Coco Foundation uh they told they told me I was a liability issue because if the gorilla were to sneak up on me I would not be able to hear it which I can't say with any degree of certainty uh but probably that seems true um so you guys seem like a nice crowd full of hearing people so I'm just going to toss this question out of the room um what are y'all going to do different if a gorilla sneaks up on you yeah thank you I would love to know um that makes a lot of sense DM me after the show I am just desperate to know what HomeField Advantage y'all have uh with your two second Head Start ridiculous nothing nothing the only thing you're going to do different than me is die scared that that's it um yo this is a true story when I was 10 years old my parents sent me to Tourette's Camp yeah that's where the joke should end it's a real place and I didn't realize it till this moment but I found out that when other people twitch it makes me Twitch more so on the first day they put us in a circle with a hundred kids oh the kid next to me did a shoulder roll and my Tourette saw that and took that as a challenge and I threw him a head flop the girl next to him did a full body twitch and everybody saw that and all hell broke [Applause] loose that is funny some of my charts I can't explain whether they're true I just know from experience this is what's going to happen here's the locker room at my gym I am the blue I walk in I start to get changed the minute I get all my clothes off 12 guys walk in and this is where their lockers are that is so true it defies statistics sometimes statistics sounds scary but it's not when you look at it from a different angle when I first got married I heard 44% of marriages end in divorce that's a scary number think about that 4 my wife and I are like do we stand a chance think of the other side if 44% of marriages end in divorce you know what that means 56% of marriages end in death till death to us part those are the two ways that marriages end folks if if you're married enjoy it now it does not end well give it up for my dad Jal Kelly the comedian I love that dude but he's a loser what why oh my God I'm seven years old and we have the same job the other day he was like hey yo Hunter are you going to work tonight if you going I'm going we have the same job my roommate's actually white and he's like uh this is racist not all white people are Ser Killers I'm like well it looks like all seral killers are white here buddy we're on season 14 come on you know what I'm saying it's a clean sweep let's go and I feel bad cuz white people are actually the only people in the world that can be serial killers there's no other ethnicity in the world that can get away with eight unsolved murders in a row you know what I'm like you don't think black people want to be serial killers of course they do they cannot could you imagine a black serial killer he would get pulled over on the way to getting supplies he hasn't even done anything yet come on Indians Asians Hispanics we can't be serial killers our family is way too nosy my mom's an old Indian lady she's a snitch my mom will just show up there is a rope what happened to the duct tape there is a bleach I'm calling the cops I'm like come on Mom you raised me don't do this I'm your son come on I'm 34 I don't look 34 I I don't look any age I just look like I've been through stuff and 34 is a difficult age because it's not old but it's old enough that the world's changed like I I'm old enough to remember time was you saw a fellow with a neck tattoo well then you thought oh I'm about to see a dead body now you see a fellow with a neck tattoo all you think is oh this latte is going to be amazing and you got to do things to stay young I I do things to stay young I I recently borrowed money from my parents for those of you who never borrowed money from your parents the crew will know this the celebrities will not you have to gather your parents together and go hello Mother Father you know how you're supposed to teach me responsibility well you failed and that comes with a hefty fine I just got broken up with it was an open relationship means you can be with anybody you want I didn't know this apparently the girl can also do that guys know read the fine prints and my girl got the first person I made the mistake of asking her this guy's name she told me you ever hear somebody's name and then know immediately that this person is a better lover than you I was like what's his name she's like Alejandra I'm like no no Alejandro you you you couldn't be with uh Eugene you know or or aign you couldn't do assignment you couldn't do assignment you couldn't do [Applause] assignment listen listen if you're not laughing right now if you're not laughing right now your name is Eugene all right every Eugene here is like actually I've heard they're pretty vigorous okay yeah so I I met this guy and it was a relief because his name was alandro but his voice was Eugene straight up he comes he's like hey man how's it going and I'm like much better now as soon as my son touched my finger I knew I would die for him I don't even know this dude but I would die for my son the first time I see him the first time I touch him I would die for my son isn't that crazy we do that fellas yeah that's right cuz we wouldn't do that for our wives what oh I'm feeling the heat from the W hey hang on hang on let me explain ladies hang on hang on look ladies the first time time we see you or touch you is usually on the first date no dude in this world is dying for you on the first date now let me make you feel better about the situation if you're on a first date and a dude looks at you and goes I would die for you you better run cuz that dude's about to kill you but I would die for my wife now 100% it took a couple years but we got there that's right if a car jumped to curb and was headed her way I would push out a way and take the hip myself that's how much I love her cuz we've all dated people we wouldn't die for right that same car jumps to Curry be like sh I guess it was day time I guess it was their time the Lord works in mysterious ways I'm the type of guy ladies that will offer you my jacket if it's cold outside I will offer you my jacket um but I'm not a type of guy that uh Once you turn that down then uh you get cold later offers off the table you uh you obviously make bad decisions and uh we shouldn't both suffer for that I just found out that I might need glasses uh for reading so I had to make the hard decision you know to stop reading um I got colors and shapes down I'm pretty good I got Silhouettes made out I knew I was getting older by the way when I started rooting against the kids in scary movies remember how you watch Friday the 13th Halloween teenagers do something stupid or rebellious but you still want them to make it you want them to live you're like run in the barn he's coming running a barn now I'm like your mom and dad told you not to leave the house [Music] n [Music]