Jason Kelce, Elle Duncan, and Laura Rutledge: Living Out My Dreams at ESPN Media Day

are you ready for some football thank you so much for enjoying that um hey can't believe this is happening like literally can't believe this is happening but here we are for anyone who is potentially new here because I have a feeling these guests specifically one of them might bring some new listeners I'm Cameron Rogers I am a content creator podcast host mental health Advocate and Mom of two boys and this is conversations with Cam I've been doing this show for 5 years now with dear media the network for the past two we release episodes every Wednesday we talk about everything definitely focused on motherhood mental health the intersection of the two but truly there is no topic that is off the table for the show hence we're talking football today no I mean we're talking really so much but surrounding around football as the Bas yeah I guess that's true okay but we're really living out my dreams and I just want to get into that really quickly before we dive into the interviews because I posted an episode two weeks ago I'll link it in the show notes it's a solo episode talking about how I've been doing a lot of inner work lately and energy work and how I feel like things are going my way in the sense of I feel like I am doing what I'm meant to be doing and with a positive attitude with consistent work on myself whether it be through journaling meditating deep imaginings manifesting aligned action focused on my authentic self and energy healing it just feels like the universe is universe and I love when that happens and this is the truest example of that because things have presented themselves to me that I could have never in a million years dreamed of or things that I did always dream of but I felt were out of my potential grasp and here we are doing them so rewind a bit if you've been around for a long time if you know me or if you've heard me talk about my story then you've heard this before but I always wanted to be a sports broadcaster I grew up playing sports my entire life soccer and Lacrosse and then Lacrosse through college at a D1 level and sports just literally encapsulate my entire childhood everything was focused on sports and I always had this dream of being with a microphone on camera in some form of Studio like I was never an actor I was never in theater I knew it wouldn't be that but I did want to be on camera and in that world and I thought that sports broadcasting was the Perfect Blend of the two which it is so when I was in college I remember very vividly having a lunch date with my mom and her being like okay you need to get a legitimate internship this Summer that will lead to a potential job after college to start your career at that time I had been coaching like for my club lacrosse and it was so fun and that is definitely a job I mean it was hard work and I was making money however that wasn't what I wanted to do after I graduated college I didn't want to be a coach so she was like you need to start applying for like corporate jobs that you're interested in to do after you graduate and I said okay well your girl wants to be a sports broadcaster so with my big dreams I applied to ESPN Fox Sports NBC sports like every potential sports broadcasting application that there was for an internship I submitted and my mom I remember at this lunch saying well you know have you considered Finance both my parents work in finance or my mom used to I'm an econ major like that was a natural path and she said I think that sales and trading would be a really good fit for your personality specifically and your characteristics and your traits and strengths so I applied to one sales and trading program the finance industry in general but especially around internships is like very structured and organized and just like on top of their so I heard back for an interview and then eventual offer from JP for that sales and trading internship before I heard back from like any of the sports broadcasting internships for interviews so I accepted that rule and and that kick started my career I ended up interning there for two summers and then working there five years full-time so goodbye to the sports broadcasting dream I want to be very clear that I'm not saying I was even offered any of these rules I could have been I don't even know because I turned down interviews and like that was kind of the end of it but this wasn't like I chose one over the other it was kind of like that's just what happened um however as I then kind of like pivoted my career to what we're doing now when it comes to content creat and podcasting I'm interested because in some way I'm living at a part of my dream and it's just the sports aspect is missing and lately especially as an avid Sportsman myself but especially with now the focus more being on everyone watching women's sports and people really showing how awesome and important it can be and bringing more females into the realm of Just Sports fandom in General like sports are for everyone and I love that we're finally seeing that I have been kind of kicking myself of like why aren't we bringing more Sports into this like that's where your heart is at in your authentic self like girlriend lean in a bit so I've been thinking about this in general and this is what I'm saying when is just happening and presenting itself in ways that it could have never dreamt of I'm on a plane on my way to an interview that'll release next week which was awesome so just an incredible experience and I get this email from someone at ESPN shout out Lily I love you she is an ffam member she has been for a very long time and she works at ESPN and she was inviting me to their media day and I was supposed to be on vacation the last week of August I do this every summer I take off from work I fully disconnect I don't even consume social media and she invited me to Media day and I was like I have to go there's no question I have to go I made a call to show and a call to my parents because that's where we were going to be made sure that like everything could be handled so that I could go and your girl said Peace vacation we're going to ESPN I end up driving to Bristol Connecticut where ESPN's headquarters are truly a surreal experience because I just can't believe this is happening I really honestly had no idea what ESPN media day entailed and like what was in store for me really had no idea when I think back I'm like what was I even thinking was happening I drove in there um but I had been told that Jason Kelce would be there for a panel and there was the potential to get me some one-on-one time with him and with some other incredible ESPN talent and what I've learned over the years in this space is that I get excited for things but I never let it fully like believe it's real until I'm in that moment and the person is sitting down with me because so much change things can shift last second especially when you're working with this really like highlevel talent I get it like I'm not the most important thing that they're doing today by any means so I realize that I'm one that could shift if something comes up so I go there being like I'm just excited to be here I have no idea what this day entails I have no idea if this is actually going to happen get any of these one-on ones with people but like how cool is it that I'm going to ESPN headquarters so media day is basically they invite in I think there were maybe 40 people from different large media outlets and they present they speak about the company as a whole they bring in a lot of the NFL broadcasters or ESPN Talent focused on that season and people get to ask questions everything's on the record and a lot of media then comes out of that day to like start off the season so the first half of the day is very focused on like ESPN as a company so we hear the chairman speak who was amazing we hear a lot of his direct reports speak we hear about more of analytics and you know user statistics and what they're focused on doing and how they're evolving and how they're growing and new projects they're working on and it was definitely interesting it's not the thing I'm most interested in but I did find it interesting I did call my two girlfriends after who both work in like data analytics research who love sports and I'm like this would have been a dream for you because you would have cared Ed so much but I found it very interesting then we get a tour of the grounds which was so freaking cool we get to tour the studios I got to take a seat at the table and take my picture it was really freaking awesome then we go back we have lunch and then we do kind of this like round robin with some of the higher-ups within the company to ask questions about what they're working on network and so forth it was at this moment that I got to have my first one-on-one with Al Duncan which we will get into and I left that being like well we're really doing this like we're here the interviews are happening this is real we then sit down and hear Laura rled lead a panel with Jason Kelce and Nick Sabin which was just remarkable that I was there witnessing this sitting literally 10t from them cuz I was sitting right at the front of the room like it was wild Laura was so incredible both Nick and Jason were awesome it was a really eye opening experience of like this is one of the cooler things I'll probably be a part of and witness and yes I was sending photos to my husband freaking out and yes he was also at home freaking the out so after that panels continued but I missed out on them to do two of the interviews I interviewed lur rled who I just went hang out with all day long and then the time came and I did in fact get the interview with Jason Kelce I still can't believe those words are coming out of my goddamn mouth I cannot believe it I want to recap every single interview with you all but we're going to do that after each one so first up let's start with Jason Kelce if you are an Eagles fan like me or you're someone who has been a football fan or simply just consuming media within the past year you probably know who Jason Kelce is he was the star center for the Philadelphia Eagles for all 13 years of his career he just retired he was a seven time Pro Bowl selection and a six-time first team All Pro selection he won the Super Bowl in Minnesota where your girl was there me and Joe flew to Chicago drove to Minnesota were in the stadium for the Super Bowl never seen my husband so happy in his life it was truly one of the most incredible moments for us it was awesome Jason has a brother Travis Kelce who I feel like everyone listening to this show knows because I really want to make the joke like the Tik Tok joke that Taylor SMI put him on the map and I say that kidding I kid I kid I know Travis KY was on the map okay like I know he's a very amazing football player but he also is now dating Taylor Swift and that was the Tik Tock joke of the girls playing a prank on their Partners being like do you know this Jason Kelce guy like Taylor really put him on the map because it was hilarious to see the men's reaction to that anyway Jason and Travis host a very very successful podcast New Heights which I love just signed a hundred million deal with Amazon's production wandery and has I'm sure incredible things to come personally I love watching their content especially Jason because he is so emotional in such a positive way in my opinion like I love seeing that contradiction of like this big strong Burly football man crying I love that and I think that that's what we need more of especially for the boys growing up to see so I'm a personal big big Jason fan and since retiring from the NL he is now an analyst on Monday night countdown which is the pregame show that airs before Monday Night Football each Monday from 6:00 to 8:00 p.m. Eastern on ESPN so he will make his regular season debut next Monday September 9th at 6 PM Eastern on ESPN before the Jets play the 49ers on Monday Night Football I love him so much even more so after this interview so let's just get into it and then we'll recap okay I'm really excited cuz I'm an Eagles fan oh wonderful I saw you in your Super Bowl where you from uh no I'm from Jersey Central Jersey but my it's like the Divide yeah right but my parents are from Pennsylvania okay which I also wanted to say my grandpa went to low Marian no way and my parents both went to Heron oh my gosh so I that area a lot and my husband and I went we flew out to Chicago drove to Minnesota went to the Super Bowl I have never in my life getting married having two kids never never seen my husband so gleeful and happy and just like the expression the tears of joy like he was running through that stum after you guys won like it was like nothing I've ever seen before I've got a photo of him and a hot tub with a cigar at two in the morning yeah it was a crazy experience I've right there with them yeah it was awesome I want to start I'm raising two sons and I really want them to be in touch with their emotions vulnerable just empathetic and I love how much I've seen you and your brother cry on the internet and I mean that wholeheartedly so was there something specific that you can point to that your mom did while raising you both or your dad to encourage that emotional availability I don't know I think um I think my my dad and my mom are both emotional people so I think that you know we grew up um expressing emotion a lot and I think that that lends itself to uh being open to do that like I think uh and there's great strength to that there's also great weakness to be honest with you like I wish personally that I had more control over my emotion I think that it's really healthy uh to do it in the right way and sometimes it takes over me to an extent that I don't think you know you're not releasing it in the right way or at the right time and I wish I could control it more but it's one of my weaknesses and strengths um I don't know I I go back and forth I think uh you know a guy like Andy Reid who I have a lot of respect for so stoic um I think there's there's great power in controlling emotion but I do think that everybody needs to express it at some point and true power is like being able to control it feel like yeah I get that um just watching you as a football player and now in your role with ESPN how does it feel postretirement to be so excited for what you're doing but also the first time not going to preseason and getting ready for game day like I imine that brings up a lot of emotions for you can you just walk us through what those feelings are I mean I think that they'll probably get magnified as the games really start to matter and get played uh right now I mean I'm just missing training camp in preseason uh you miss being around the guys you miss being in the building and thankfully I'm still going in the building to try and get some of it even though it's different um you miss solving problems you miss talking to Stout and and your line mates and and Nick and everyone in there about you know what can we do to improve this or you know why are we struggling in this area you know what what are we going to do to attack this defensive front um that stuff is so fun for me and um you know it's it'll be interesting to see how it goes the whole season um obviously I'm busy enough that maybe my mind will be preoccupied to like kind of mitigate thinking about it all the time but I know from talking to a lot of players it really starts to set in once the season starts and you really realize how much you missed that um remember talking to Chris long when you play your emotions are always up and down up and down up and down and that up and down makes you feel alive the emotion of saying highs and then like you lose the game and you hate everything that's happening is is a feeling that you got to get used to in retirement you know now we're here for the most part like right you don't have the insane highs you also don't have the lows then you're not you know you don't need them either you don't need that to happen so don't feel weird and like you're not getting stuff done when that isn't happening right and don't almost seek out I feel like I would do that because I love simulation that then when it's gone I'm like what can I feel it with how do I get how do I get this feeling how do I get adrenaline course no truly um as a working dad and especially a working dad who traveled a lot like in season what was the hardest part for you you being a play being an NFL dad because it's different with like major baseball and other sports um you're traveling I guess now maybe nine weeks sometimes because it's 17 games but eight or nine weeks a season um minus playoffs you you miss that time to be honest you have a whole off season there's so much time as a player that you get to be able spend with your kids now now because I'm not tired I can I physically have more energy right um even in the offseason when you're training it's taking energy from you and now I feel like I have much more energy to kind of play and that's fun uh but you know in some ways of I'm busier because of I'm traveling now more and I am I mean in season as a Monday night football analyst I have 17 Way games 18 away games because there's no bye so like I'm G to be going every weekend maybe for less time maybe not um but yeah it's it's something that I think of a lot of like man this is actually I'm spending a lot of time away from my family in season yeah it's tough It's it's always tough to leave the kids like the rest of our country I have fallen in love with your wife Kylie what is your favorite characteristic of hers as an individual and as a mother well let me think about this for a second my favorite characteristic of her as a mother um is that her kids are the most important thing in the world tour and it comes across in everything she does and I think that for me that is so important to be able to like I don't know your priorities are so important and that being the number one priority really sets the stage for everything else and that my favorite characteristic in Kylie just as a person is a lot you know besides honesty besides Integrity besides um compassionate besides um loving I would say my favorite characteristic is that she's not afraid to be who she is and does not feel pressure to be something that she doesn't want to be she's like one of the most consistent human beings I know on the planet and it helps me uh greatly selfishly um that uh she is so grounded and so um consistent in who she is as a person it's wonderful to hear that because that's what I get as like a outside view so to know that that's who she like she just seems so true to herself and that's why I love her so freaking much thank you so much for coming on here I want to close just quickly with what do you see in store for the Eagles this season they're gonna be really good I mean they have so many good players they have great coaches and they've added to coordinators with proven track records who've been very successful you know barring injury I don't think there's any chance that Eagles aren't going to be one of the best teams in the NFC if not the NFL um you know offensively they're loaded across the board I'm looking forward to a big bounce back Year from Jaylen um and that offense in general not that they were that bad last year but it's going to be even better this year I firmly believe that and then defensively they've added a lot of pieces that I think we kind of missing um so you know it's it's hard to believe they're not going to be better than they were last year awesome well go Birds congrats on the wandery deal and the Kelsey mix I need to get my hands on some of it that's right that's right all right have a good one all righty thank you I mean what an incredible being like I knew going in I had High Hopes because I just feel like he's very personable he's very down to earth he's a family man from what I can see from content I've consumed I am obsessed and in love with his wife and I was just really excited to talk to him about things outside of what he's typically interviewed on when it comes to football because yes sure we all can listen to him speak about football that's what started his career but I am more interested in him as a father as a partner as a man in touch with his feelings and that's what I really wanted to dive been in that segment and I left being like I really did that and I got home and I showed the interview to Joe my husband and my father and they were blown away in the sense of like you're interviewing Jason Kelsey like I truly have never seen them so proud of me or impressed by me in my life and not that I need their validation but it was this moment of like wow we're really doing it like were doing it that was awesome he was so kind he was so personable overall left like a 10 out of 10 feeling of just being a big fan of his even more so now so yeah your girl interview Jason KY that's really cool and you know what's even cooler I also got to interview two badass Women Within ESPN so next up is Al Duncan I left this interview just being like I want to hang out with you all freaking day L Duncan is a sports center anchor for the 6 p.m. Edition which is the most watched edition of the day she hosts women college game day Studio show live from sites of the biggest women's college basketball games throughout the season she hosts women's college basketball NCAA tournament coverage and she also hosts the L Duncan show which I will link in the show notes for you to watch and this year she wrote a children's book called for you I will L was such a just like light and bubble of good energy and just someone I want to be around like you can tell she's a hardworking badass knows her but is also so much fun I left feeling like I get a new friend we're hoping to have her on the show for an extended episode she was amazing I'm an even bigger fan now so let's dive into the L segment I'm so excited to be here because truly you're living my dream and we'll get into it okay but I grew up playing sports my life I played at a D1 level and I was like I want to be a sports broadcaster Sports gir like I just wanted to be talking about sports because it's all I felt I talked about and it controlled my life and I wanted to be on camera with a microphone so and you are well yes just in a different way but yes so I want to go back like what initially interested you in sports broadcasting honestly I thought when I was younger when I thought when I was younger that I wanted to be an actress so I did the thing that um a lot of failed actresses do I left College to take a gap year moved to LA during pilot season and live my dream four months later with no prospects an agent or uh any auditions I moved back because I ran out of money and I think what I realized in that space was I actually wanted a job where I could be myself not a job where I played other people and so when I thought about the things that were important to me the things that excited me it was always Sports I come from a sports family I'm a sports girlly too I played softball my whole life um and so the idea that I could be like a robin Robert someone that I looked up to my whole entire life that I could you know challenge the dudes at the bar and in the same way get paid for it on TV it just felt like that was my Lane so at about 20 years old I sort of like really narrowly focused on Sports I mean truly like that's the dream of being yourself and getting paid to do something you love so as a female in a male dominated industry what is the hardest part and then what advice do you have for young girls who are watching this or watching you who want to get into this industry so would say the most difficult part about being um really any subgroup in a space that's not mainstream is that um there is a lot of having to sort of carry the pale um I actually see it as a bit of an honor that I try to bring um a woman's perspective but also Champion women so I think that's great but honestly my advice in general is just to like show up and be prepared those are the things that you can control I cannot control if any of the men that I work with think that I'm here simply because I'm a woman woman in checking a box or think that I'm here because I'm hot or I can't control any of those things but what I can control is that I am well prepared that I know what I'm talking about and that I earn the respect of my colleagues so when I came to a place like ESPN I put all of that aside I didn't walk into a room going I'm the only woman hear me roar I walked into that room saying even as a woman or anything I'm gonna come in here and earn your respect by doing the work by being a great colleague and I would say that that's the thing that you can focus on control the controllable which is how you show up and I think um not trying to sort of force the issue not just organically making your voice heard is really really important in the space because as you continue to climb in your career your cache will allow you to speak up and make sure that women's voices are Amplified so build the cache before you come in G right you win more what was it you win more flies with honey than with vinegar that's always been my Approach is to earn everyone's respect because once they do respect you your voice carries a lot more weight I love your children's book for you I will um in it one of my favorite lines is self-care is not selfish and that's something that I am like a huge proponent of I have a whole substack focused on like filling your cup and prioritizing your mental health and your well-being especially as a mother because you cannot pour from an empty cup like I need to fill mine before I spent all day filling everyone else's how do you as a human but especially as a mother prioritize self-care like what does that actually look like for you what does that mean for you yeah I do it really poorly I say we all say it we try we say it um the truth is is that this is a is hard work you know that right this space is really really hard work and the truth is if I could tell 20-year-old me that was hustling and grinding and saying things like I'm going to hustle and do what I got to do now to do what I want to do later if I could tell her oh sweetie pie you're still going to be doing that 20 years from now it never ends it does not end I would probably have prioritized from the very beginning setting boundaries I'm very uh it's very hard for me to say no as it is a lot of women right we feel like when we get these opportunities we can't uh we we don't know if another opportunity will come so we need to take advantage of everything and I would say that um it takes some of the pressure off of yourself and that's how I help myself I go to therapy which is what fills my cup I love it um as busy as my schedule is I will carve out that one hour with Jean no matter what um I like to work out which helps me and then honestly I think it's fluid like sometimes I have an exorbitant amount of energy anyway but sometimes it looks like me saying as much as I love mentoring as much much as I love and prioritize doing my community work this is a week that I really need to look at me and if that means sleeping in that day working out that day getting a massage that day like that's what it looks like so I think it's really just about being flexible and Nimble and understanding at different periods in your life self-care looks very different I totally agree and I think especially as a mother it's like self-care might be that five minutes where you just like sit in silence and you're literally by yourself it doesn't have to be this like gorgeous bubble bath with candles like we've set an unrealistic expectation on social unfortunately sometimes and I think that that almost deters people from doing anything because it's they're letting Perfection get in the way of progress when it really could be the smallest thing paralysis by analysis right well I fall into that so easily I'm like um okay and then last question as a Sport Center host like you're covering so many different sports I'm curious like how do you even remember everything like H how are you actually taking in all of the information and then what is your favorite sport personally to cover I would say it's divide and conquer baby I mean honestly a sports in our anchors is kind of Jack of all trades master of none um and you have to prioritize the season like right now we are about to reach the WNBA playoffs which means that that is my priority because I cover it I am a football girl I love football I was raised in the South I was raised watching the Broncos games from the time I was five years old like I love football and that is a huge huge huge uh sport as we know and we're moving into football season and certainly that's going to dominate a lot of our coverage we've got millions of experts at football right like I'm one of a handful that covers the W and so that's what I will prioritize right now and then when the W is over I'll be able to prioritize football and then when football season's over you sort of you know move to NBA and that becomes your main focus and I would say in general especially when I'm doing some of these more opinionated shows where my opinion is needed um I try to think of What's the storyline that I can offer what's the perspective that's maybe a little bit different because again we've got so many incredible voices here like just being in an echo chamber isn't helpful it doesn't add anything and so I try to figure out like what's the thing that I'm adding to this conversation that maybe I haven't heard some of my co-workers talk about and I try to focus on that if you try to be everything to everyone your head will literally spin there are 1 million things going on every single day on my show today I'm going to talk about baseball the W college football uh I'm going to talk about NFL we're just going to talk about so many things it really is about sort of prioritizing the season that you're in and figuring out what you're going to do in your respective shows and focusing wow I mean it makes my head spin just thinking about it but it's why it's so important to have diverse voices whether it be gender race like location demographic all of those things thank you so much for doing this on the go segment for people who want more of you where can they best support you oh you can support me uh by of course watching my show um on 6bm Sports Center I also do the L Duncan show which is available twice a week on YouTube wherever you get your podcast and then in general I kind of suck at Social but every once in a while I like pop on I'm okay if you notice this wall is famous for like most of my pictures on Instagram there's a lot of this I stole it from Laura relig so we have good lighting it's great lighting I'm just saying uh but yeah support me wherever you can support all my co-workers we really we really do appreciate all the love well thank you so much I mean just the Vibes are Immaculate like there's no doubt about it the Vibes are Immaculate and again she was the first interview of the day and I just left feeling like wow this is so cool like I'm living my dreams and we're really doing this next up and the last of the interview segments was with Laura Rutledge Laura hosts NFL live which is a year round show on Monday through Friday at 400 p.m. on ESPN she's the host of SEC Nation so Saturday morning SEC network pre football show she travels to host a different SEC game location every Saturday throughout the season which is crazy to me a sideline reporter for multiple Monday Night Football games this year including their two playoff games on ESPN sideline reporter for a college football playoff game last year it was a rose bow Galore host the show with the Masters dream for me to go to the Masters so I'm going to just manifest going to the masters with Laura and host ESPN's red carpet coverage each year at the NFL draft oh another dream I just love everything about her we have kids similar ages so I feel like we really connect on just the Mayhem that is happening behind the scenes and behind closed doors like I know what she's going through on that front so then consuming her content I'm like girl how are you doing this how are you possibly doing this all cuz she's doing it all and doing the most and I loved her brutal honesty in this interview just being like I live in fear around remembering everything and being live and again just another girls girl someone I want to hang out with I left there being like El Laura can we just hang out all day I mean Jason yes I love you too but they were just so much fun for me to connect with to really witness like these women are out here living the career I dreamed of and showing me like what is possible and how you can truly be successful in this industry and also be an amazing mother so here is Laura I'm so excited I love like no no no I love you I was going through your content and I was like oh I love her she's like me oh okay um so so many questions first and foremost like how do you do it all because when I watch your videos of like let me get ready for getting to the office I'm like you've lived a whole life and I joke that parents live a whole life before 9:00 a.m. but like you've truly lived a whole life so do you find time whether it be in the morning or some part in the day like for your I'm big on filling your cup so like do you and if so how I I probably need to fill my cup more yes um thank you I like this little mic um so that's that's on me right but what I found is that it just goes in waves so some days there's a moment to like really take a shower and not be thinking the old time I think I heard somebody cry or like did somebody fall down or what's going on or sometimes like the kids are in there with me because that's the only choice um but I've also found that this is such a chaotic time of life and it's just going to be this way for a while and I've kind of accepted it and trying to lean into it and enjoy it because I know I'm going to miss it and I know it's corny but there are so many of these songs that are like You're Gonna Miss This and people tell you that you know and I'm like you know what um I am now when I'm wrestling with somebody trying to get me in the car seat I don't know if I'm GNA miss that but but most of it I will and so I try to live in that state of mind and I think it helps sometimes no I I I do agree but I also agree that there are things I will not miss um you have kidss very similar age to me so there are nights of broken sleep okay how in God's name are you then showing up and being on live television because my brain is a puddle like 95% of the time honestly if you can me on a good day like that's great but I'm not on live television and not only on live television but you're having to remember so many different facts and stats and names and having someone in your ear telling you stuff like while you're talking is a whole other thing how do you navigate that so um it's funny because I live in fear is how I navigate it I'm always like oh no today is gonna be the day where I really messed something up and and it gets to the point where uh if if you ever watch NFL live especially you'll see that I do have my phone there I have it there partly because if something goes wrong at home like I want to know and I want to be able to help but also because if I need to do a quick Google search your girl will do a quick Google search on live TV I'll be like I think I'm right but I'm not totally sure so let me just triple check myself and and I'm going to make mistakes and I I have to accept that but I think you know just in general trying to like keep a sharp mind is so hard and I I do feel it I think has made me so empathetic to people like if I I run into somebody who seemingly is struggling or maybe they're having a bad day or they're coming across route or something I'm like you know what I don't know what you went through earlier today but I get it because it can be but really I live in fear is the answer to that question just constantly afraid and ready to myself um okay so as a female in a like male dominated industry a what's the hardest part for you but B what are you trying to set as I guess like trying to instill with your daughter of like this is what we can do we can be strong working Fierce confident amazing woman like how are you also trying to implement those beliefs in her brain CU it's so important even from a young age yeah that's so well said I mean I just want to actually clip off what you just said because that's it and I think you know for me as someone who has oftentimes struggled with feeling confident and feeling like you know maybe I'm failing at things all the time I'm I'm trying to really be conscious of what I'm saying and how I'm talking about myself because I am like a notorious you know oh like I stunk at that or and and it's part of being a perfectionist and like a you know I want I want I I expect great things out of myself right but I think there's a fine line there and I've really found it in watching her and she's only four but there are so many times when you know she'll even look in the mirror and say oh there's like my hair is not doing what I want and I'm like no no no you look perfect like let's we're living in that world we're not living in the critical World which is it's natural it happens but I think for me you know what I've been fortunate about here especially is I'm surrounded by wonderful men who are a great fathers and husbands and who who have daughters some of them so so they surround me in such a great way but a way of respect so it's not just oh we have to be nice to her it's no they respect me and they and they're so great about how they convey that publicly but I also think that I am still trying to find the belief in myself that I need to properly portray that to my daughter and it's a constant battle every day I'm like no no stop that don't be thinking that way don't be talking that way it's constant I that's why therapy let me tell you half the reason why I'm in therapy um and then I also am just curious like especially as a mother with SEC Nation you're traveling around a lot how do you navigate that because I'm away from my kids just for 24 hours right now and I'm anxious going to bed I'm anxious waking up I'm convinced everything's going to go wrong like how do you prioritize your work while also the reality that you can never shut off home life yeah so if you were to look at my phone at any point in time there's just baby monitor notifications like the whole time and and I I watch those and I've made progress because I now don't keep it on the entire night like I don't just keep it live on my phone so I can hear every little thing um I'm so lucky that we have an amazing family who will travel here and help us and my husband is such a rock star and he provides such a a amazing safe wonderful environment for the kids when I'm not there he loves them in his own way but also there are so many I think touches of me like the way that I would be for them but it is so hard like I struggle with that every single time have to walk out the door even just to come here which is really just a few hours a day and then I I'm able to go home um but what I found is that trying to prioritize intentional time of I'm really spending an hour with him or maybe it's even just five minutes and there's no extras going on not looking at my phone the whole time or watching something I try to tell myself that that's what they're going to remember and they're not going to remember that I walked out the door you know and and hopefully but the the other really cool thing that I would add that that's been fun to watch is now like if Reese is playing she'll be you know running around she be like all right Mom I'm going to work I'll see you later and I'm like all right girl where do you work you know and she she works somewhere like she'll tell you and and I'm like that's so cool and and it doesn't matter I mean I admire women who are at home and taking that's the way harder job like it is so hard and that can take such a toll on you um but if you're a woman who decides to be a mom and have a career to see the example that you're showing especially a daughter I I'll I'll stand on that for sure it's funny um everyone made fun of me and my family because for Christmas I bought a Bluetooth keyboard used off of Amazon for my son and I was like he's gonna love it you don't understand all he wants to do is play with my laptop so now I'm like I sit down and work and he's like I have to go to work and he grabs his little keyboard and he sits there and I'm like what are you doing he's like sending emails I'm like okay then I recently told him that his job is to play so when I work he's like I have to go to my job play and I was like great um okay I have to ask you have the most perfect hair oh what has gone into this okay well so um I would say three fours of it is not actually attached to my head permanently so there's a lot of weave in here like if you were to you know there's clip-in extensions got like the bachel hair yes I wish I mean if I tried to if you see me do my hair it's just like slicked back and and and it's funny because my daughter will be like you know I'll come home like this and I'm like you know take it out as quickly as I can because every everybody's pulling on it and it's like getting stuck in somebody's toothpaste and it's not and she'll be like oh but Mom what happened to your long beautiful hair I'm like well it's over there in the corner okay your girl your girl is back to mom um and it's gonna be up here but no I mean I I I also realize that like this is very unrealistic and I'm always very humbled when um I'm doing it myself I'm like oh no it's bad okay well it looks amazing thank you so much for coming on here where can my community support you if they want more of you I love that um okay well you can find me on Instagram uh it's Laura m rutage i do some Tik tocking I sounded like a really old lady the way I that I'm on the Tik Tok um that's really where you can find like the most of the family stuff and yeah I'm I'm on X too but I think that um I was just like what the is X it's same I don't know I I now I've started calling it X because I felt like I was the only one still calling it Twitter said that I could not compute you're like what is that um no but Instagram I think is my favorite and that's where you really would see more of like the family stuff and the craziness for sure amazing well thank you so much you're amazing just truly impeccable Vibes I mean The Best Day Ever truly one of my favorite days of my career without fail when I got to the beach and I was showing my parents and my husband all of this content and like really like explaining everything I did my mom came up to me at the end of the day and was like I hope you go to bed tonight so proud of yourself and really acknowledge the fact that you've dreamt of doing something along this lines for so long and you're out here doing it and you should be so happy and I really was and I am and I sat there and I journaled at night because I think that it's really important to journal when you're also living these highs because I want to reflect on that I want to reflect on the positives and what led me there and how I'm feeling when it's happening and I just feel so proud of myself I feel so grateful for this community because truly without you guys I wouldn't be doing any of this and you are amazing and I feel like I'm on this path where there's just so much greatness to come so thank you so much for joining me on this episode on the go and for supporting me and for listening again if you enjoyed this episode I would so appreciate a rate review subscribe share any and all of the above it means the world to me and welcome to conversations with Cam if you're new here we release new episodes every Wednesday we have a lot of fun we laugh we cry we get real my brain's usually all over the place as it was today but I appreciate you all and I will see you next week