Beau Ryan Interview Season 2 Episode 2

first you I just want to ask you just a a real simple one that you've probably been asked many many times um you've been out out of the NRL for a while now obviously um you had a quite a successful career um and I guess one of the interesting questions for me and I guess I know this as a as a friend but just for listeners um how hard did you find that sort of initial transition from being a footballer to then obviously you made a quick transition to celebrity and and and didn't miss that bit but I'm sure there was some type of transition you had to get adjust to how was that for you a little bit of a hole I was in probably how I felt I found it hard but I didn't find out out about myself until like I said about a year later [Music] mhm good evening good morning good afternoon from wherever you are listeners guys today we have on our podcast at thinking man business Labs one of my very good friends I must disclose very early um but also a top bloke and NRL Legend comedian uh actor all of the above plus more and a top bloke debut um welcome B thanks for having me man yeah it's been a while trying to set it up so it's um it's always good to chat and yeah we uh we probably try to talk talk more about some of our personal stuff sometimes than we do just uh stuff that we should for the podcast but we'll try and keep it trying to keep it nice and serious for for this one and um we'll just have a bit of a brief chat about what you're up to how things how things have been and um first you I just want to ask you just a a real simple one that you've probably been asked many many times um you've been out out of the NRL for a while now obviously um you had a quite a successful career um and I guess one of the interesting questions for me and I guess I know this as a as a friend but just for listeners um how hard did you find that sort of initial transition from being a footballer to then obviously you made a quick transition to celebrity and and and didn't miss that bit but I'm sure there was some type of transition you had to get adjust to how was that for you um mate at the time it was quite smooth because I was in I got injured um and retired early but I was doing work with Channel n nearly on a full-time basis I mean when I wasn't training which was five days a week was you know four five days a week and then weekends was I was filming so all my spare time was taken up with that so that when I retired it was literally on the Thursday night I had the Friday off Saturday I had to go to a canola game and then start of work Monday Tuesday with Channel 9 so I sort of I didn't have any time to think about it and I didn't have really any time to dwell on anything and went straight into what I'd already been doing but probably a little bit busier um at first it started off my normal two three days plus my footage show night a little bit of travel overseas from back then and then I was doing stuff with the NRL and the sharks at the time and I become busier and busier so the actual transition from you know footy player to post happen quickly and very smoothly but in terms of uh how I felt I didn't really know what I was going through until probably uh it was 2014 when I retired so probably 2015 2016 it started to hit me um a little bit of a hole I was in probably how I felt um and it's like anything I was doing the same thing every day it's like uh you know you rock up the training you get told you know what to wear where to be what to do what to eat what time to be there um and then this Freedom this new found freedom I have and and less routine impacted me far greater than I thought it would um I'm a routine person and I like a quite disciplined person um and when when I sort of had this you know no you know the walls come down there didn't have any real boundaries and could do what I wanted I I found I found it hard but I didn't find out out about myself until like I said about a year later um and I did struggle um you know just from I like team sport team I like team environment building um build team building and being around people trying to achieve the same goals so it actually hit me uh without me even knowing um and I know a lot of good mates uh who have retired over the last 5 10 years have have struggled the same but I was telling myself that I was fine and yeah when really you know I had an opportunity where were a job where I was busier and had a lot more success but yeah there was still a hole that I I I needed to fill in a cup that I wasn't I wasn't filling up yeah and I guess how did you eventually get get through that I'm sure there was whether it was 6 months or 12 months depending on how long at last mustard um and I'm some some of that I guess team stuff never will ever go away cuz it's part of your DNA um but I guess I'm more interested in you know when did you give get that full acceptance that okay foot is foot is now and this is this is by Ryan now and this is the next stage of my progression as a human well I like I said it didn't it didn't hit me till much you know much later on because I was still around the team on weekends at games I was still working for I was still around the Footy Show so I was still around a lot of rugby league people and I could go in and uh see the guys and whether at training or game day sort of on my own terms whenever I chose so it didn't really hit me then um but the way I got through it I mean I I I'm not not a big drinker but I was drinking a fair bit and and like with rugby league you are disciplined so I then went from barely drinking at all or having three or four big drinks a year whether it was was bad Monday on a way like semi-final loss or you know an away game or a mat's wedding or christening or whatever it was um to being exposed to so many different events and opportunities where I could drink that I'd said even if I said yes to 50% I was probably drinking twice a week um and looking back at it that was just that was just to mask how I felt probably you know I you know I just and a freedom you know I never had that opportunity for to sure to be able to drink when you want whether it's you know have a couple beers with your wife at dinner or you know go to a long lunch and I I sort of um I'm a sort of All or Nothing person and when I was drinking and partying and that more it took its toll um I kept telling myself I was okay because I was getting up and going to work and taking all the boxes that I had to for my career but yeah inside I was struggling Without Really knowing it yeah yeah that's really that's really interesting and thanks for opening up on that it's really important for other guys to hear I mean if you've got any tips and I don't think it's just segregated to to rugby league I think it's the same for a professional that gets sacked as the CEO of say any company and then goes okay his identity gets lost with that career because that career potentially over if if you can't find something um to replace it so it's not it's not strictly rugby league players that go through this type of transition um would you have any any tips for some of these some of these guys that that struggle with the with that or people that are coming towards the end of the retirement in in any facet I guess of life whether it business or yeah or football or not yeah yeah no I like I like that you said your identity and that that was probably one thing that worked in my favor my identity was as a rugby league player but I didn't you know as the more career my career blossomed in media and um presenting I sort of found my identity in that so it made the transition a little bit easier for me thank god um but that's that's the biggest problem when people lose their identity and it might not be as as a rugby league player or you know a sportsman cricketer athlete whatever it could be you know I tell people it's like going into a builder and saying to a carpenter you know you can't you can't work here anymore um but you also you can't build anymore you can still come past the work site and see everyone but you can't be around them when they're building um and you can't go and work any it's something you've you've worked your ass off your whole life to learn this craft and this trade and in my my my world it was rugby league and you know it's it's a it's a slippery slope when you say to someone they can't go and be you can be around those people but you can't perform the tasks and routines and things that you've done every single day since in my case when I was five years old when I started playing rugby league um it is dangerous uh the best way for me to get through it um in my experience I can only talk about um what I went through is I didn't open up to a lot of people and talk to a lot of people I like I I like I have a few people in my life that I look up to and I like people who have got life experience so um to confiding someone who'd been through a similar thing whether it was a past player my manager um that gave me a lot of um hope because there was times when I just felt [ __ ] and I didn't think I'd feel better yes um but to see other people that have walked in those shoes before walk down that path and to know that they were okay and they've come out of it it does give you a little bit of Hope um which which really helped me another thing was my family like my wife I've been with her since we were younger we broken up a couple of times on and off but um we' been through so much together um in my career personal life um we've had ups and downs and you know we've had losses in the family and a lot of tragedies so we've we've ridden the way the wave together and um she saw how I was up and down and she saw the way it affected me as I saw when she left um you know she stopped working to have our daughter and she loved hairdressing man and she had her own business and she put everything into it and she went through a similar thing and the problem for us a lot of it was at the there was a crossover and was at the same time and uh we both struggled um and you know trying to be the man and trying to be um the leader of the family I you know sort of put on a brave face and took control of the situation and you know told her everything was okay when really inside I was I was probably hurting more than than her but you know trying to be the right trying to be a provider and a protector I tried to be um someone that didn't show any weakness or pain and I looked back and I wish I saw I wish I did I wish I showed a bit more vulnerability I didn't let too many mates in 2013 to 2015 was a pretty dark pretty dark years in my life and I didn't a lot of people hung out with that they didn't really know the real me and I looked back and wish I yeah was a bit more open to people man I really do I regret that but um we've got through that period and yeah my advice is to people to you know everyone's different the older I get the more experience I getting not even just work but with my family everyone's different it's got different needs different tolerances but sure um I like I said earlier I'm a people person and I like to bounce off people and talk to people if I'm down or or help them help them if they're feeling down and um yeah my family was huge for me I also had a couple of past players that I spoke to who had been through some really hard times as well and um a couple of people who were you know live where I grew up who had been through some pretty dark times too so to see them come out of it people I really looked up to and to hear that they were feeling [ __ ] as well like I looked at a couple of you know I won't say who it is but I made I had I still have I look up to him and he just seems bulletproof to me but to sit with him in um down at windang beach one day and really open up and get vulnerable and you know just put it all on the line and you know just you know show all your good side The Good the Bad the Ugly of you it really it really bonds you and it really um yeah sure does yeah being vulnerable really you know made it made it made it made him a lot more relatable and I like I said I looked at him like he was just the king and for my mate to be so open and um raw with me it really helped me more than he even even knew yeah I appreciate you opening up like that and um just to make it clear for everybody I just want to um thank both for what he's done for me in my life because he's always been there um for me and I appreciate that and uh I want to state that publicly you've helped me through some tough times in my life and um you are the king mate thank you for that no you're you're a good person and we met through met each other many years ago through um a mutual friend uh Eric and um I don't know it's it's funny man you meet people as you get older your circles does get smaller but um you know you just find you find friends and find people who you can see yourself in and I can see a lot of myself in you on FaceTime she's trying to talk to my daughter yeah even though we're so different yeah you're Macedonian I'm Lebanese we still relate to each other yeah well I can pass lean for sure easy 100% I can pass for masso too yeah RH rovski exactly so um onto some more positive things we' got pretty deep there for a second so let's just uh shake that off for for a sec um good brother but um so besides that obviously things are going really well for you now you I see you're doing stuff on um on Studio 10 a whole bunch of other other things I can't sometimes I can't keep up with with all the different things that um you're doing how do you run it all but and also be a family man at the same time how do you make that distinction or do you say these two days I'm not available or all that sort of stuff how do you balance yeah it's a good it's a good question I think playing rugby league from a young age I've learned the art of switching on and not switching off I think that's super important as a rugby league player um to not take your work home with you and I did that from a young age um so I could always focus a training and then worked out what I need to do whether it was from weights or speed training or even um you know video or you know working out the other teams I didn't take that work home with me so I'd be able to switch off and before I had kids I'd work really hard on my presenting and stuff I did at Channel 9 so it gave me that um you know all the skills there because I was so present in the moment um and then when kids come along I did the same thing didn't take work home with me and it's sort of just transitioned into media you know it's a high press job I do have a you know my lifestyle is um is great but the my jobs are pretty pretty risky and high pressure and I leave it at work I'll go to work and I'll be very well prepared and focused but when I get home I might talk in the car on the way home about what needs to happen or what I need to improve on or research for what's coming ah head but then I leave it I leave that at work so that when I'm at home I can be present don't get me wrong I'm still sitting in the backyard a lot of the times or going for a walk with my son and I am thinking about [ __ ] yeah but I'm doing my best to to not do that I think that'll always be a part of me always you know I'm a bit of an overthinker but I like to try and keep work and family separate which is um it's wored well for me so far and I want to continue to do that yeah awesome that's that's great so if we um if we go back even even back back to back to football now so we got the new season coming up so everyone's excited um should be a nice nicer cleaner season obviously with hopefully the back end of fingers crossed the back end of uh yeah yeah hopefully we we can say that word without it being um without it being cut cut off um but um what are you looking forward to this season and and what what are you thinking about you know what for for I just love the footy on um the trials are on now and I I just love it on I just whether you know not so much going to a game we leing konala and the Sharks play obviously here at Shar Park but they haven't played here for 18 months or so and um that was a bit hard because I like to take the kids down especially little man down but just knowing it's on um I don't know I like I like watching it I like having nothing to do with the teams as well my heart is still with the Tigers and the Sharks but I like having no investment in it in terms of I need someone to win or I need someone to play well I like to just sit down and watch it as a fan probably struggled with that with when I was a player man my first two years out I struggled because my mind felt like I was still capable of playing it's just my body let me down and I really struggled going to training and watching the games but now I genuinely love it man I love I love watching it and I love um you know I love that I've got nothing to do with it really I love you know I still support I still support the guys but I don't have any investment in the game which is great because you know it's a wonderful sport man it brings everyone together and it's it's just good I love I love watching the new guys come in um especially the Panthers and the storm guys I love watching those guys um develop and I think it's I do feel sorry for a lot of them you see guys now go through good times and bad times I think it it's much harder now man with social media and all the other you know Bridges they got across to be a rugby league player their life is I mean our life was was in the spotlight a lot but when we got home it was over now you know guys go fill up their car and they get being um and videoed which um you know can make things tricky it's just another hurdle for the players but yeah I commend them for doing so man yeah I guess it I mean there a tough thing I think in society in general now with the way social media is it's it's tough for kids we got to watch out for our kids even when they're on what are they watching you can't always be on their phone if you if you're trying to sneak over your daughter's shoulder or me looking up over over look my son's shoulder dad what are you looking at what are you looking at so you're sort of like you got to trust them in a way that you've brought up a kid that's responsible enough to look at the right things but sometimes they're exposed to stuff that they shouldn't be at their certain age and it gets so tough sometimes it really does it's really tough it's really tough bro and like you said man you just got to try and do as best as you can but like their kids as well man I remember what I was doing when I was a kid and teenager and yeah you know they're still gon to they're still going to you know do things that you don't want them to do they're still going to have regrets but you want to learn them you want them to learn um you know their own mistakes but hopefully get unscathed in the in the process but it is man it's hard you know there's no rule book for a bro there's no rule book for being a dad as well you know a lot of people pass on advice but you know everyone's doing the best job they can and my kids like everyone else's in Sydney and Melbourne have been locked down for the last two years so um to try and pull them off devices and and get them to connect with each other and their peers and their family it's hard but M we're all learning man we're all learning that's right I mean the last two years probably been a biggest learning curve for everybody for the whole world so it'll be interesting to see how it plays out I guess five or 10 years down the track to see what sort of effect it's it's had because I I'm really hoping that there's going to be like a big reconnection of society over the next six to 12 months that's what I that's what I'm thinking you know well that's what we try and do bro I'm with you me we try and connect as a family and look um whether it's a bik ro or take the dog for a walk get in the pool we do that and it's only natural for them to go back to their devices and we let them do it we do let them have device time but it's just got to be a balance bro just be balance yeah yeah that's exact that's exactly right so what are you looking forward to most for the uh for 2022 been a good been a you know we've gone through 2022 2022 most looking forward to um the most I mean the World opening backup's been great and it's very it's very good for me in my line of work with what I do for Channel 10 um hosting essentially a travel show so um it's impacted me on my career quite heavily but you know my Health's good my family's good so we've been okay um I've still been able to work in other in other areas but each year I like to challenge myself with one extra um job or commitment that we sit down each year my wife and I will talk about um what will help our our family and what will help you know my career so you know last year I did um did a show I probably wouldn't have done I wouldn't even think about doing um Channel 10 I went in The Jungle which was [ __ ] hard man but um a challenge how long did you last again I only lasted three weeks bro but three weeks a long time man it's a long time but um yeah so I'm sure something will come up this year um you know when I get back from from filming for Channel 10 and you know we'll cross that bridge when we get to it but I'm looking forward to um you know that's career-wise I'm looking forward to I'm spend a lot of quality time with the kids I mean I travel a lot for work but I'm lucky like I said before in my job I can be focused in my job whether it's traveled for two months and then I I try and have that same amount of people period of time at home with the family I will still be working and doing Channel 10 and some radio stuff but you know it's sort of making up for lost time because you can't get that time back so um yeah that's the thing my son's gonna start playing footy which he said he wants to do so that's going to be interesting my daughter started dancing again her second time round so that'll be interesting but I don't know man like you Tom's just flowing hey yeah Tom's flowing I don't even know what happened in 2021 man I can't really remember it I mean think it's a blur for all of us it's like my son woke up the other day and he said Dad I'm a size 11 shoe now and I'm like you're 13 years old and I'm like I'm many a size nine mate I didn't see your son for about a year and then I saw him and he was like I could have sworn the last time I saw him he was seven and then I saw him again and now he's like 25 and go head down there yeah that's right that's right so like you said it's a learning curve um learning curve for all of us but it's um I think we've got through hopefully the worst of it and um now we're just uh moving on like you said the best the best parents we can be the best people we can be best Society um we can be and I think as a a society we keep supporting each other and uh bringing ourselves together will be will be absolutely fine so that's the M thing bro that people people just need to support each other man everyone's gone through hard times man like personally professionally everyone's gone through their own [ __ ] and I don't know man I think like I don't know people people were you know into each other and people were you know B each other's heads off there for a while but I don't know mate the General T you know seeing people whether it's at school pickup or in the city I feel like people are are genuinely concerned for other people now which you know I haven't seen that in a long time man so there is there is Faith for the human race man yeah there is there is look mate we got um we got pretty we got pretty heavy but um I appreciate the time I know you're real busy I know you got plenty of stuff on um and um like I said said I can't wait for you to get back down to God's country you know where that is and um I'll be down there soon brother yeah and U we'll catch up and um we'll we'll see how things are so if there's any last words for you mate please feel free other than that thank you very much for joining us here on today's podcast yeah no I just want to say thanks um you know you said to me that you you want to thank me for being there but maybe you same man you're always checking in on me touching Bas and that's that's as you get older like I said you you Friendship Circle gets smaller but you know you don't need you know I don't need to be talking to someone every week or texting my mates every day but you know you know once once a month or every few weeks when you reach out to someone and touch base with them you don't know what they're going through it it can lift you out of a moment I know you know some people might look like they've got everything but inside they're hurt it happened to me um like I said when I retired man so yeah I just urge people to talk to each other mate and and be honest with each other yeah awesome awesome well we'll leave it at that thank you very much Bo you take it easy and I'll talk man I love youo bye [Music]