ClassicRadioSeries - "The Twist" starring MICHAEL O'SHEA

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have the time oh but God look I don't have the time anyways I I couldn't do it ridiculous a guy with your reputation yeah a guy with my reputation yeah what do you know listen 12 years ago I was on the cabs Gustaf green the hack LIC and readed Crepes how I hated the cabs work like a slob 12 or 14 hours a day for a lousy 27 bucks a week now do you blame me that I took the daydreaming like like maybe it was my limousine and I was driving cuz my chauffer had a day off I used to sit at the wheel figuring out the dest situations like I'd pick up some rich old Dame and she'd leave me a million bucks or or I'd save a guy all all kinds of situations but all I got was 27 per a week until the night I Met fan hey c k take me home driver home your home or my home wise guy huh where's that well you got talent you're driving a cab where can I get a job driving a cab you want the radio on now definitely no oh now don't let's be bitter shall we you know radio is quite a median yeah just think some guy says a few words into a microphone and you can hear it as far west as Georgia rust of green well well Mr Green meet van Hower the best gag man in the radio business currently freelancing unemployed on the beach well if you're so good why aren't you in there writing them Yaks Wise Guy why cuz words I know rip tickling words gags yeah jokes to make a corpse laugh but plots situations situations yeah that's another story I could I could coin a million if I could figure them out well well look situations now let me tell you I am a veritable Shahar on situations I got a mil Now look for instance the guy who says [Music] that I don't know something clicked between me and vanha Houser from the beginning I always hated his guts the way he talked to me like I was date but up in his room I started feeding him stories stuff I dreamed up on the cab he put into put into good words and it came out very funny too well inside a couple of years I was getting 1,500 bucks a week but I was tied to that guy I couldn't work with nobody else I'd sit down with another gag Rider and nothing would happen yeah I knew it was van or 40 bucks a week in some broken down job so so I hung on to him like a barnacle I worked with him ate with him played with him my place was just down the hall from his at the hotel sometimes I thought I'd go nuts if I had to look at his sneer an ugly puss another day and the the only satisfaction I had was that he needed me and hated me just like I needed and hated him but one day while we were riding a spot for Schmo for a day he chose me a very unfunny line Gus my goon boy you uh may be interested to know that I'm going to marry Julie Phelps Julie Phelps a dancer that's right she to be the club Catalina she making trouble for you cut it all right all right I didn't say nothing against her all right you better not okay go ahead and enjoy yourself well thanks so Gus my cornball colleague we uh we may not be seeing so much of each other hence oh now look you don't mean that but hey now wait a minute what's going to be with our partnership here we'll see I'll uh I'll talk it over with Julie no no van now look I mean it we've always done what we wanted to loafed all day wed all night at and slept at any crazy hour now no Dame is going to stand for that H Julia is different no Dame is different yeah she knows how we operate and uh she knows you guys yeah and she's not exactly crazy about me neither I was just coming to that now uh if you want to stay in with me be nice to her huh it won't do no good listen van she'll make trouble between us see she'll work on that as soon as the not is tied said now listen to me I'm your pal van a Dame like that is bad business you know what the club cat lead she wasn't ex G Julia is one in a million a joke man like you comes a dime a dozen okay okay if that's the way you feel the way I feel pardon me for having any feed all right just be nice to her no cracks okay so I'll be nice now look about Sunday show I said be nice to her if you're not Gus [Applause] [Music] finished yeah I said I'd be nice but I knew it wouldn't do no good Julie was a small town girl who soured on Broadway after she had a bust up with Nick Edwards the the mug who runs the club Catalina and she wanted out and she was going to take van with her too so it came to me that I'd better figure out a situation and Pronto she didn't like me because she was a scared of me I knew about her and Nick Edwards and Van did So I says to myself I say guess maybe the Dame will scare away hey who is it Van Well Gus green what a surprise hello there Julie he this is for you flowers yeah yeah van told me about you toy and I figur they're lovely come on in guys thanks I miss flowers so much in the city back home the garden always full of them yeah yeah say this is a nice place you got here thanks yeah very Swanky um was isn't that chair once in the lobby of the club Catalina well I I bought it when they redecorated the place oh sure sure you did honey but it it just reminded me about what I just happened to see your friend Nick Edwards today I haven't seen Nick in months oh sure you haven't honey but he's still carrying the torola for you I'm not interested no I didn't say you were but uh you might be interested in the fact that Nick said if vaner marries Julie so help me I'll kill him did he say that now would I lie honey well that settles it I've had enough of Show Business van and me are going back home oh no no you you can't do that to Van Julie this is his life what's he going to do in a small town I don't care I'm sick of it sick of all the cheap characters the bums and the hangers on if I want him to Van will come with me oh look maybe he would well I'm I'm sure he would but Julie what I what I really wanted to say was why don't you give me a few days I'll go talk to Nick and who knows maybe I can fix the whole thing up would you guess I'd like to stay for V man sake I'd like to see him get a good job with regular hours maybe an advertising sure sure nickel listen to me I'll at least I can try huh thanks Gus you're nice I didn't know and and and then I got another idea what's that maybe the three of us could all work together oh I can't write I can type well we need a secretary we could dictate our stuff to you I don't know Shand you don't have to after all what is a comedy script along the left hand side of the page you put the name of the character and then you write out what he's supposed to say simple sounds simple you could spend more time with Van how would you like to try I'd love to gu it would be wonderful sure it would be wonderful for me when she said she'd work with us Julie was playing a part in a situation that I dreamed up and let me tell you it was a good one cuz it ended with me still making a grand and a half per week and Julie Phelps well Julie Phelps was just not there music Chaser and a commercial credits and sign off got that darling every word Mr howy well V how do you like our new secretary oh she's good Gus how come you had such a swell idea Gus if this works out I'll be the happiest person alive oh no you won't Julie I will now come on I'd like to try dictating mhm ready okay take a clean sheet of paper here's a gag sequence for the Fred Benton show H look who's writing gags don't laugh genius now look Fred's talking to Mrs mishmash and she starts reading the wrong page of the script you see ready let's go Mrs mishmash please don't laugh at me I think we've made a mistake mistake uhhuh now Fred Benton I know I have I have Mrs M let's start all over from the beginning all over from beginning Fred if you love me you will that's funny me no no that's charm this is Mrs am I going too fast no no okay this is Mrs mishmash again I would do anything for you anything for you Fred he says me he says I would like to see you I'm bored Mrs Igan let's talk this over how about tonight about tonight yeah Fred when at midnight Midnight Mrs M come come I'm waiting for you right now for you right now did you get it all mhm type it right now wait wait wait wait Julie we couldn't use that corn even on the Benton show all right wise guy give it to me Julie I'll file it under sustainers look if you're going to fight I'm not going to work for either of you van be a dear and get me a pack of cigarettes downstairs will you all right H the Gus don't try to write any more of those Charming gags get lost Gus yeah did you get anywhere with Nick well yeah Julie he's softening up but he he wants to see you Gus I don't want that man near me now Look you don't see him you better start wearing black for Van you know Nick Edwards I know Nick wouldn't stop killing but I now listen Julie I I I haven't got time to argue with you now van will come back but why don't you come to my place tomorrow night at 11: I'll run in a van for sure well then come before 8 and wait for me we'll have rehearsals till then what about then tell them you're going to sleep early what if he calls anyway I'll cover you I'll probably be with him anyhow he must never know about Nick I get it I get it now listen Julie you just leave everything to me and in a couple of days you won't have to worry about Nick Edwards again yeah just leave everything to me and you won't have to worry about anything anymore Julie Phelps not even your own [Music] funeral come 8:00 the next evening I paid a little visit to my apartment long enough to see that Julie was comfortable and also to get the keys to her place out from her handbag I drove over there and went upstairs to do some interior decorating my kind [Music] going to take van away from Broadway are you going to send me back to 40 bucks a week and a pigy you are Julie Fels get that in a pig's [Applause] ear now just one more touch to complete the situation a little business outside the club Catalina I kid I kid come here here listen now here's a dime kid take this note in this here envelope and give it to Nick Edwards and if anyone asked you say a game a Dame gave it to you got that a beautiful Dame you got it from a beautiful Dame right look g g no more work let's KN off what's the matter van you're tired no no no but what's eating you oh you wouldn't understand all right so don't tell me I don't care any all right it's Julie said she had to go to bed early tonight so what it ain't legal I called a half dozen times no answer uhhuh afraid she's to Tim in you huh I didn't say that yeah but I know how you feel yeah well mind your own business look my friend I'll do you a good time leave me dial the number for you numbers on the pad let's see what your fat fingers can do okay you could talk to her while I get down to my room to get my hat and coat I'll take you for a drive before we hit the sack sometimes you're even human okay here take it it's ringing now I'll be right back let's see hello Julie darling man honey I oh I'm sure glad to hear your voice where You' been why well I've been trying to get you all evening no answer then then G TR dear I told you I I I was going home to get some sleep when I phoned you must maybe maybe it didn't wake me well now baby that's hardly likely with a phone right near your bed sometimes I I I sleep I I I can Julie is there someone there with you of course not van I'm alone I'm by myself I'm what do you no Julie Julie jie Julie what's the matter Julie [Music] Julie a very neat situation you granted Warden sure Julie being killed in her apartment 2 miles away van hearing it over the phone and me in the next room to him at the hotel you like it huh Warden yeah I like it too and I did it that was a very Sensational situation for suspense Roma wines are bringing you Mr Michael OA in the twist Roma win's presentation tonight in radio's outstanding theater of Thrills [Applause] suspense suspense radio's outstanding theater of Thrills is presented by Roma that's r o m a Roma wines selected from the world's greatest reserves of Fine Wines have you discovered how much Roma California wines add to your everyday enjoyment for example millions of American Homemakers serve delicious Roma wines to dress up everyday dishes to make even the simplest meals really delightful events yes good food does taste better with better tasting Roma wines and there's a delicious Roma wine to complement your enjoyment of everything dish juicy steaks and roasts taste their best with robust Roma burgundy fish foul or any light meat become exciting treats with delicate Roma Saturn or pale golden Roma Rin wine for entertaining too you'll find better tasting Roma wine adds the gracious festive note that charms guests and makes any dinner AR rousing success so for extra meal time enjoyment that's inexpensive always serve Roma that's r o m a Roma wines America's favorite wines and now Roma wines bring back to our Hollywood Sound Stage Mr Michael O'Shea as Gus green with cydney Miller as van Hower in the twist a play well calculated to keep you in suspense [Applause] van was still screaming into the phone when I came down the hall from my place a minute later with hat and coat draped over my very shaking arm I opened the door Gus Gus Something's Happened to Julie Something's Happened to Julie but how do you know did you get her yeah yeah she answered the phone so well she sounded funny like there was someone in the same room and then suddenly she sounded like she was hit or choked or something well maybe it's just a gag she was pulling you know Dames do that sometimes you think so why sure no no no it couldn't be I Hur her Gus Gus what should I do now come on keep your shite on she screamed did you call her back no no I didn't well why don't you that's right as I call her back that's what I'll do sure of course I'll call her hand me the phone yeah here just happened I know it has line busy no no no answer hey but you just spoke to her a minute ago CU I'm worried I'm worried sick forget it she's all right come on out for a ride oh no I couldn't look tell you what I'll do for a pound I'll drive you over there you can check up for yourself van looked pretty Grim as we drove over to Julie's place in the west 70s I checked over everything I'd done and figured how I'd work out the rest of the situation and we turned off Central Park West into the side street where Julie lived on the second floor of a converted [Music] Brownstone hey look there's a guy coming out of the house that's probably nobody he's making a get away Gus follow him I never catch him now oh gosh Gus if you'd only got close enough to see his license number well I did what was it LK 573 498 LK 573 498 all right Sam Spade now let's go upstairs and visit Julie huh the door to Julie's apartment was wide open when we got upstairs and the place was just like I left it like it been some kind of a fight and then then I saw where I'd made a mistake the telephone where Julie was supposed to be strangled was as neat as a pin I watched Van's face to see if he noticed it but well he was too broken up to notice anything Julie Julie cuz she was a sweet kid what do you mean was I know she's dead what do you know all you see is that her apartment is all busted up I heard her scream didn't I Gus I waited 20 years to meet a girl that I could marry so help me I'm not going to die till a guy who did this is in his grave you'll see you'll see G I I'm kind of mixed up now but in a little while I'll be able to think I'll know what to do sure I'll know what to do look that's a telephone uh what about the telephone I'm going to call the police h no van now wait a minute don't be crazy what look put the telephone down why shouldn't I call the police it's very simple you got no evidence she was murdered but I heard a scream use your eyes van will you use your eyes Julie said she was in bed has the bed been slept in and where's her coat where's her poison where's her hat they're not here but she said she you're right this you're right I won't phone maybe she's still alive that's better now look van sometimes we haven't felt too good towards each other but after all we've been partners for a long time kid and I'll tell you what I'll do anything anything you say to help you all right then look look just on an off chance Gus Trace that license plate will you let's find out who that guy [Music] was we went back to our hotel I slept like like a log because I knew that Julie was 10 ft from my bed in the closet very dead where she couldn't come between me and van anymore next morning I told van I checked at the license bureau whose car was it Nick Edwards caten Edwards that's right why that dirty goon I look you don't think that he I don't have to think I'll let the police now wait a minute hold it look van I I I never told you this before but I knew all along that Julie was playing around with Nick Edwards with Nick Edwards yeah that's why I never liked her now you better not call the cops maybe we was just busting in on a private little party last night no no I can't believe it no not Julie well we got to find out where she is and the guy who knows is Nick Edwards what makes you think he'll tell I tell you what I'll call him at the club tonight and ask him over I think maybe he'll accept me invitation well Nick arrived at 11:00 p.m. and from my window I watched him Park his black car in a dark Side Street near a hotel just like I told him to and I carried Julie's body down the back stairs and put it in the luggage compartment of Nick's car nobody saw me and a few minutes later I knocked on Van's door that you Gus come in hi van I Nick good evening Gus Nick was just telling me Gus look I'm just as worried about Julie as you guys are see yeah that's easy to say okay okay don't take my word for it but I've had her house called every half hour all day why'd you go there last night in the first place you haven't been around long have you never mind that Wise Guy why'd you visit my girl who said she was your girl she was engaged to me she was tired of you why you sit down she told me so herself when yesterday then you saw her yesterday Nick no no I ain't seen her since she quit working at the club and started to P around with your friend here but you just said that Julie was the only girl who ever had me on the ROP see but when she called it quits I went along she was too good for an Exon like me anyway I figet but the last night someone gives me a note in her handwriting oh what did the note say Nick it was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen I read it over and over until I knew it by heart please don't laugh at me I think we made a mistake I know I have let's start all over from the beginning if you really love me you will I love you I'll do anything for you I'd like to see you let's talk this over how about tonight when at midnight come come I'm waiting for you right now as soon as Nick Edwards left I told van I didn't believe anything he said and as far as I was concerned Nick either killed Julie or had taken her away van agreed with me and we called the police [Applause] ah yes it all made a perfect situation the best I'd ever dreamed up all of Nick edwards's high-powered lawyers couldn't save him from being sentenced to the chair yes sir life looked pretty sweet but there was just one thing wrong Van's comedy was getting worse and worse Fred Benton told us would' have to get better or else while we sat in Van's room sweating out a Benton program that was a day overdue Van van for the love of Mike Will you pull yourself together gosh I I can't think you don't have to think I gave you the whole situation all you got to do is write the gags for it gags now look look in the first scene Fred and Mrs mishma steal a horse but here's the twist the horse is blind you get it yeah yeah yeah yeah well come on then give you know hundreds of horse gags now just give them a Twist and fit the situation I can't they just won't come look if we don't get this script in tomorrow freddle canis now come on guy will you write I'll write yourself van you know I can't right I'm no good without a gag get yourself another gag man on through washed up you know it won't work van you know that I've tried it on the QT I was afraid that someday would break up but it never worked with you and me van something happens we're a great team without me you're just another guy making with words without you I'm just another Joe now don't you see kid that's why we got to stick together even if we do hate each other's guts that's why nobody can't never break us up now come on guy right will you I can't think of anything look how we got something in the files we used you got a senior dictator to Julie what was that H that Mrs mishmash or something Fred was it please don't laugh at me or something I I think we made a mistake no no van look that's a no good situation that's dead let's get something new it's a good situation a very clever situation all I need are the lions please don't laugh now van I'm telling you it's no good the lines the lines please don't laugh at me I'm telling you it's no good van of course why didn't I think of that before those lines you dictated to Julie they fit no they don't fit and besides I can't ride gag you know that oh that wasn't a gag usus that was a situation the most desperate situation you ever in now wait a minute what are you beating your gums about here we'll find out what are you going to do operator I want to speak to inspector Martin Police Headquarters get away from that door Gus I got a gun now don't shoot van wait a minute listen don't move Police Headquarters inspector Martin oh inspector Martin this is vanh Houser of the Julie Phelps case hey I've been trying to get Edwards didn't kill Julie Gus green did and I got proof that makes it even worse Edward says you framed him green did Nick's note was a script dictated to Julie minus the character names how about his Alibi he dialed his own number inspector not hers and killed her while she was speaking on the phone to make things look right he messed up her apartment I never could quite figure out why there were no signs of struggle around her telephone now I know he must have stoed her body in Nick's car better send some cops over right away before I shoot him they're coming over Hower to protect you Edwards broke out about an hour ago watch out for him Nick yes yes Nick Edwards Nick Edwards all right ha come across with that gun Nick come on Nick you heard what I said didn't you so what I I didn't frame you gust did he's a guy with a situation so what you took my girl away from me didn't you all right give me that gun now now Nick wait a minute what are you going to do with that nothing except to give me that guner don't let him get that gun I'm a little too quick for you go no now Nick please now don't shoot me let me tell you how this was I've had a belly for of your stories they put me in jail remember they're all stuffed to Min see but like they say there ain't no situation that can't take a new twist here's the twist to this one you ain't going to die for the murder of my poor Julie h no you're going to die for something you didn't do what what do you mean Nick just this the murder of vanh Hower well they they didn't believe me at the trial so I'm up for killing my late unlamented partner but you know me I always like a Twist they got Nick for killing Julie now I guess you can understand why I can't write the prisoner's annual show can't you Warden not without van and besides like I said I don't have too much time do I before I go to the chair suspense The Twist starring Michael OA presented by Roma wines that's r o m a Roma California wines America's largest sub wines when your family and friends enjoy glorious golden Amber Roma Sherry or ruby red roma Port you share the rich reward of choicest California grapes selected and gently pressed at Peak taste richness with ancient skills and wine making resources unmatched in America Roma Master venters guide this grape treasure unhurriedly to full taste Perfection these Choice wines then are laid down with mellow Roma wines of years before and from these the world's great reserves of Fine Wines Roma later selects for your taste pleasure tomorrow and every day enjoy this naturally better Taste of Roma wines whether your favorite Roma wine is nut like Roma cherry or Rich Roma Port you'll find that every Roma wine is better tasting wine that's why more Americans enjoy Roma than any other WIS tonight's suspense play was by B Blau next Thursday same time you will hear Donald O Conor as star of suspense produced and directed by William spear for the Roma Wine Company of Fresno [Music] California in the coming weeks suspense will present such stars as Clare Trevor Kirk Douglas and others make it a point to listen each Thursday to suspense radio's outstanding theater of Thrills [Music]