Drama Actress Roundtable: Jennifer Coolidge, Dominique Fishback, Jennifer Garner, Emma D'Arcy & More

I want to be given a job where I have to improve myself like the director says if you don't improve it you're getting fired or something or I would like have to really get in great physical as something where like a superhero that we need we need a market or something yeah something where it's like someone says you have to do this or you lose your job because it's so hard to be motivated yourself you'd be so good in pleather oh there we go yes wanted to wear pleather [Music] foreign to The Hollywood Reporter roundtables I'm your moderator Lacey Rose and I'm so thrilled to have you guys all here if a fan is to come up to you on the street what are you sort of bracing to hear what are you what do you typically get right now because of swarm getting who's your favorite artist uh-huh yeah I say it's ironic that I'm playing like the ultimate stand because I really I the first time I went to a concert was like in 2018 I don't really like to stand up that long yeah I actually always get asked like if I am me because they look quite different in real life which actually presents I think like an unfortunate possible out because there is a Temptation right to say no but I get that all the time no I've taken me out yeah yeah I get a lot of 13 Going On 30. they're just oh it's my comfort movie or it's my wife's favorite movie or you know God forbid my mom's favorite movie and things like that what about you well it was actually um it was kind of split down a little bit girls would come up to me and say you're that lady from Legally Blonde or yours ever and then guys would always be American Pie and then thank God White Lotus came along and now um it just got eliminated that now it's just right into it's just you're the lady from White Lotus yeah whatever all over the map like if someone comes up and says my dad loves you then I know they're gonna talk about Two and a Half Men um but it's it's all sorts of things you know it's recently been Yellow Jackets but I do set like if someone comes up and says are you famous which sometimes happens I do say no because I don't think yeah and also do people tell you you look like it's very awkward thing to respond to I think they're you know they think they're being gracious and like and sort of they are by giving them but it's um I'm very stymied by that I don't I I short circuit it's kind of shocking how many people approach me immediately with their appreciation for myself very long time ago and it's very heartening you know like teenagers today are still aware of it and finding it and you know I love it too and Winnie Holtzman who created it as a dear friend still I'm having lunch with her tomorrow you know like it's still very much a part of my Stone Cold life but so but to know that it it continues to exist and you know land with future Generations is super groovy the bowling alley and some girl from swarm again she was like are you like that in real life I was like he picked up the volleyball team like yeah yeah even if it was too would I say yes no I was 100 imagining you were gonna say someone comes up and says something about a Negroni I thought for sure yeah that happens as well okay um and do people like buy them for you at bars are you ever like uh just I'll do a beer at this point no there was a there was a period where I was just yeah I was like desperate for a lager all right so you were all here because you are have had these incredibly sort of powerful roles they've all resonated did any of you have any reservations uh hesitations about taking the parts and if so what were those founded or not well Fleischmann actually weirdly my bestie Arielle um we had lunch and she dragged me to the nearest bookstore and bought this book Fleischman is in trouble and bought it for me shoved it in my backpack because I'm a child I barely um and said I need I really need you to read this book because I need to talk to you about the ending so I was actually doing reshoots for a limited series that I had filmed earlier that year called the Essex serpent that takes place in Victoria and England and that was my set book you know because I had these orders from my best and it was bizarre because there I was in my corset which I would not fit into right now and got the call for this rule it was a bit uncanny yeah and a little Cosmic you know so I didn't question it I was like well obviously I have to do it because the gods told me so no I was I was actually I was thrilled I hadn't read nearly enough about this particular experience about um trauma in women about postpartum and I I was delighted kind of perversely to delve into everything that that means um just because I think it's fascinating and not reflected on that um yeah I definitely had reservations but it was kind of funny because when Donald Glover and Janine neighbors came like talked to me about the role they wanted me to originally play Marissa which is the role that Chloe Bailey plays why do you think that's what they wanted for you well Donald told me it was because of I guess the roles that I've played before I'm very familiar yep he said it feels like you want to when you play characters you want to protect them and so he didn't automatically think of me for Dre so when they told me about the story I was like I called my team after I said man I got to play Dre you know and they were like oh you might have to like fight for it it's like if that's the case it'd be the case um but Donald got on the phone with me and said why you want it and I said I never wanted to catch up to my own self as an actor or put myself in a box of people uh they accept me this way they like me in this type of role which is a character that's usually more easy to digest and I didn't necessarily want that um he said well if that's the role you want that's the role you get and I didn't have to fight for it are and I was like wow so I was like did that really just happen and then after that I was kind of like what did I do I want to do this and usually I Journal as my characters uh but this time I couldn't I felt like uh psychologically I couldn't attach to her on the page and so instead of trying to journalize her I journaled as myself and I identified anything that gave me fear or pause whatever I was afraid of I was I was afraid we never really see African-American women get to play roles like this and a lot of times you start to represent everybody when you do a role and I didn't want them to feel like oh we don't want to see ourselves like this like we already we're already seen in so many ways that are not necessarily great for us so I but I really had to identify why I wanted to do it I've watched monster with Charlize Theron and Hillary Swank and Boys Don't Cry and Heath Ledger and the Joker and I was like man I want to do something like that and this was an opportunity and one character to do so many things like that so overall I just had to say get away from my fares and accept the challenge then ask why it was hard for you to write as the character and in this particular case yeah I think because uh even even Donald Janine I said they didn't tell me much about her backstory when I asked questions they were like oh she's just emotionally stunted they didn't really give me anything to latch on to and so I had to kind of allow myself to be present and not map out everything sure I wanted to ask you because there's such a physicality to the character that's so specific and there's this beautiful Journey like at the in the last couple of episodes of the show it's so beautiful because it's like oh she's like a completely different person but she's still the exact same person and I just wondered like was that something that came to you instinctively or was it something that you did you walk around your apartment like practicing because I just it felt like a magic trick to me I'm so obsessed with this performance thank you thank you I didn't uh I I don't I didn't plan it because I felt like I might have gotten in my head yeah so I just uh kind of let her exist I think with the physical stuff I've always been influenced by like like Lucy like when I was 10 years old I was watching I Love Lucy I want to be like Lucy or Jim Carrey and Lila and all the physical things yeah and kind of really didn't get the opportunity to play in that world and with Dre because Donald Janine didn't say oh she's like this I kind of just um let it exist but I think thank you thank you so Jennifer the first time you got the call from Mike White about doing the White Lotus it was not gonna necessarily be a yes is that right oh you know Mike and I were gonna do another show and and it had you know it had been turned down by a lot of people and so you know Mike had mentioned that he was going to write this show about rich people on vacation and and then I never heard anything more about it we were like six months into covid and you've been I've been locked up in New Orleans in my house there and just picking out on these vegan pizzas for you know and sometimes I was with this girl Carolyn and Carolyn she's a good friend of mine and we were doing two at breakfast two at lunch and two at dinner wait two vegan pizzas for breakfast yes so you know it was like three pizzas a day for each of us and so then you know I mean like no one you know we're in Coven and I'm gonna get a phone call from a friend going like hey Jennifer my show got green lit and let's go do it and it's all gonna be like on a beat you know Beach and bathing suits and whatever I was just like but I didn't tell Mike I wasn't doing it I just said oh this is great yeah that's so nice Mike yeah oh God that's congratulations for getting agreement and everything you know and I also did you know I did think we're all gonna die during covid so I was sort of already so I was just like why not yeah and just do whatever you want you don't even walk around naked get arrested whatever it's all going to be over but then um it started become a real thing and um the text what does that little ping in my bedroom in New Orleans at like two in the morning and I looked down at my phone and it just said are you afraid and it was from Mike you knew he knew but you know I still wasn't going to do it and I think this happens to actresses a lot I think sometimes the you sit around and your whole life that you've never been given the role of your dreams and then when it comes you're like yeah I can't do it I mean I ate a bunch of pizzas and um I really another time another time you know and you know and ruin you can ruin and and uh and thank God I have a bestie you know that um you know when I got back to you know I was you know and I was at her house and she goes hey are you gonna do that show with Mike White on their show and I was like and um and she just like got on to like my my bullcrap and she just caught on she knew exactly what I was doing and she was like you know you are an idiot she just went off on me and just said this is a are you crazy she gave me this and she really just barraged me with all this like you're an idiot I'm not going to let you do this I'm gonna tell Mike White you know all of this she's like this is this is the role of a lifetime you have to do it and um and thank God I was like well I'll think about it yeah then I thank God thank you so much what was it I'd be scared of putting on a bathing suit yeah you know and look I wasn't like you know I you know they have Sydney and Alexandra don't need to wear those bathing suits I don't know what I was thinking I didn't know why I thought they were wanting me you know walking around you know whatever I don't know it was like it was like self-hate and and um not you know not being prepared to do it for me not being prepared and then and then you know and this is the thing my friend kept saying she's like do you think this comes around you think like you think like tomorrow is gonna be like this is this is you know this thing happens and you just have to freaking take it Jennifer sure but you don't necessarily know what door is everything right but if what would that good writing is good right absolutely no no you're right but even if I had done it right and it was let's say it was a big bomb it still would have been better than just okay it's just um so then cut to since we've already spoiled it it's for one person at this table uh when you get the call during season two for Mike that says your character is going to die yeah are you at that point then trying to talk him out of it and keep you on the show we know on the other end of the spectrum I kept thinking if I did enough good job if I did a good enough job he wouldn't kill me oh I'm not too good of a job he had to go but um it was sort of weird because I did think that like um I would I had like six months to butter him up before is it your assistant okay sorry she's so good okay but I did but yeah [Laughter] [Applause] who doesn't know what happened okay all right proceed proceed sorry I have to go um what episode are you up to I'm so curious Greg just left oh oh yeah just a few things Emma you you had nodded initially when I said if anyone had any reservations you were obviously uh entering into one of the biggest sort of franchises in the world uh no no pressure um did you feel that did it give you any pause or was it just sort of thrilling no I wrote a pros and cons list like during the auditions process what was what was Loosely on on each side just like the big one I think on the cons list was uh it was like loss of anonymity but probably that was like a way of writing like you know self-hate or something uh and um yeah and I was but I auditioned for three months um during my pandemic after losing like a year of work so in some ways I think my hands were tired because I uh yeah I self-taped for three months halfway through the process the then show running Miguel support Nick called me to ask me if I under wig and this is like uh pandemic time like supermarkets are open um and I think like a a proper person would have asked the hair and makeup someone who does that like summer for advice like oh gosh what did you do I just didn't call anyone and I had a bag of hair that was from a job in my color and but yeah me and my partner just like yeah we lit we literally stuck it to my house I have to see a picture yeah yeah I have I have like work in progress pictures but then every time I self-taped I had to sit on the floor of my living room while my partner did my hair for me which took about two hours uh yeah from from the hair from the from the weft and then at the end of that I did a four hour in-person audition and then I didn't hear anything so yeah like a certain point I think like the uh the character was like how do we like made space I like cleared out the spare room for them and so to not do it would have been to lose someone from my life so the the point of like objective decision making was like Way Gone how does a four-hour audition go uh I mean how does I've never had an audition more than five minutes yeah wow it was just like I think I I feel like I had by the end of three months taped every scene in the show because they took like a punt on me I guess and that I could you know bring an audience so um I just remembered that it was like good for a while and then it was awful and then um oh and they brought me a proper wig like a like a like a blonde wig and um and then after a few hours they said great you can like go home and like get drunk or be in touch and then they said actually can we just do a few more but they had to feel like I had to feel like you were getting somewhere they must have really liked it was amazing it was like the virtuosic performance of my life yeah there was like um a really strong uh sense of like fighting uh for something yeah and in an audition you just emotionally go you must have been like okay and now I'm now I'm this place and now I'm this even bigger place and now it's a little funny scene and now you know yeah yeah yeah an age because they got me to tape across the series even though I'd only play the older character and what did did you ever at any point have any respirations and if it was not on yellow jackets in the middle of filming Yellow Jackets you get a call from Craig Mason that says hey can you come do this other sort of Epic show for us in the last of us um is that an easy yes is that yes yes yes yeah um the only reservation I ever have is that I'm so tired I'm just so tired all the time I have a four-year-old I'm 45 I'm so tired and so I think that was the thing I just got this wonderful script and I really loved it but I was like I'm very tired it's always gonna hold me back I think my daughter was 10 months old when I did the pilot and then she was two when we went to do the series it was like a huge big long Gap yeah and then I had a week I think after yellow jackets and I went into this other project candy and then I had 10 days and then I did the last of us and these are all Dark Worlds yeah I want to do a comedy so I was about to say yes for all of you for that um but yeah I didn't have reservations about the material I was excited I was excited to read something in all of those cases where it was a woman who was going through it and it was being shown and like it's exhausting to try to be likable and I think as like a young working actress just auditioning and auditioning trying to be likable trying to fit myself into whatever box people needed me to be in um just was so tiring and I was really grateful to be like oh this is a person who doesn't care how people see her it's it was very freeing for all of you I mean these are sort of different levels of of darkness in these worlds what happens when a director yells cut are you able to sort of leave it there that's that's when you let yourself cry if you've been holding it in if you if you're if your character for whatever reason is trying to be um restrained or yeah you just don't want to blubber your way through that's when you're allowed to finally let it out I feel like taffy was talking to to a fellow reporter and said that you were sort of this like otherworldly in your ability to just laugh between takes because that always been the case no not at all oh it's something that I've definitely kind of developed over time um and I'm very grateful that like I've collected some technique over the years because it's really draining uh okay when I first I did a tiny movie with genre who you know this legendary French actress and I was I don't know young 15 or something and was struggling with this exactly and was just you know on the entire day and I think she turned to my mom at one point and said with real affection and empathy and warmth you know but so you know just like oh that's what it is to be starting that's the tax right that's the cost of an experience of um not trusting that the the necessary emotions will be available to you when required but yeah it's um it's fun and it's sometimes I think it's a bit of an illusion my convivial you know in between takes Persona because it's definitely still on in a simmer and I and there's it's very you know there's this internal clock like you kind of can chart out the day and and also and you know go okay so it's that's you know you can get information maybe maybe I'm too shy to even overtly ask but I kind of can make inferences but okay so I think in like 45 minutes I'm gonna have to be my most alert and you know so and I'm not sharing this with anybody um and and I you know I tend to do crosswords like I tend to have some kind of menial type like knitting is great something that occupies the mind but doesn't take me fully out of the narrative or the moment my husband will read books I'm like I can't communicate I can't live in also existing stories but you know so he's you know everybody has their own approach but I do think that sometimes it's misleading but and also you know because I I'm still kind of keeping something crackling imperceptibly but you know sometimes it doesn't come I also know now that when it doesn't come it's okay to acknowledge it and say hey I need a minute or or to or do something weird to jar myself into another state and allow something more fluid to appear and I um I know that's okay to be in a dry moment it's okay to ask for a minute to to alter your state and um and I I'm not as embarrassed because you know that's just what it is it's a humiliating undertake it was such a thing that defined you as a young actress your ability to I mean it just speaking as somebody who was older and less experienced but kind of appear as you were doing my so-called life and working with directors like Scott weinette who you were working with concurrently and they would talk about how you would you would get to an emotional place and then you you want you couldn't turn it off and that it was you were so emotionally available that it was really just a process of reigning you back in at all times because you could just go right off a cliff when it's like hang on hang on we're just reading it you know um so it's like a Hallmark of your work that you just have this big open heart that's that translates that's very kind and yeah and I think actually when I did Romeo and Juliet with baz luhrmann he helped me understand that it is an act of imagination it's an exercise it's not the truth it's something you can play with and if you think about it in that way it's not disingenuous it actually just gives you more latitude and more freedom um and that was a major Insight that was very helpful like oh it's not artificial if I am you know if I'm thinking about it as as as a manipulation um but yeah and if you go home and allow yourself to be okay at the end of the day and aren't living in that place for the entire you don't have to be in the self-lacerating state and there's this Paradox of when you're playing you know when you're in inhabiting and bodying really painful feelings it's almost necessary to do it with a state in a state of Joy weirdly um a state of play um and that it's very hard to articulate it's hard to but I'm sure we all know what I mean when I say that you know I think that's wondering that like in in seventh episode of your show at the yoga retreat like it's gonna make me cry sorry but like your scream I just was I was watching it and I just was like I just wanted to know like first of all I wanted to scream like that also and I almost did it in my living room yeah but then I was wondering like how did you feel after that did you feel like released or did you feel kind of like I just do you sleep really good yeah no I really at that point I'd worked very closely with taffy and and and John and Val the directors and really trusted them totally and they didn't make me do it a gajillion times which was very good guy what and then the boom operator and the mixer they knew you were they knew you were about to yeah yeah but um when do you have a license to do that like that's why we do what we do so we can you know let it transgress in that way I felt similar and swarmed to like get that energy that energy out but uh I will say in between I'm often very much like oh what are we doing what are we eating like I'm like that but for the seventh episode with her girlfriend that particular uh kill was very hard for me because I think it was her first time being um uh it was with her bare hand of every other time it was an object um I think for me too that was like her first time at least on screen killing a black woman as well so I think that played a part in it and Dre really did love this person I thought that she like she loved her so I felt this I think I felt the same way so after doing that kill I couldn't shake it I asked them to have a therapist on set that's about to say uh yeah just just because I didn't know how I was gonna be affected or other actors or even a crew so they were open to that in that particular day she was there and it was really helpful because after I couldn't stop crying I was like am I doing something bad I was so exhausted physically mentally and spiritually I felt my spirit was kind of fighting something all day because I do believe as actors we are vessels where the characters come through um and so I think that was like one of the hardest part of you to ask for a therapist that was really that's very self-possessed and very smart he was about to say how good are the rest of you at sort of knowing what you need to sort of protect yourself and and make it an environment that you're going to sort of be able to to work but also be human at the end of the day I think as I'm on such a big cast and some so many of the cast are younger than me I feel like I need to advocate for whatever their needs are so what does that look like just just making sure everything is okay it is kind of like a global kind of asking for protections and for people to be really transparent with me about how they're feeling and um but that's a lot to take on when you also have like you know I just want some I you know there are times where I felt so lonely when I was young and I just want people to feel like there's somebody there um but I love that idea of having a therapist I think we learned on uh Judas in the back Messiah because the the 50th Anniversary actually fell on a day where we were shooting the assassination yes I'm covering is bad and my character's pregnant and it's like energy is just swirling yeah and then we all kind of I remember the night before I kept feeling something bad was going to happen and I was like oh Dominique that's because your your body can't differentiate what you told your mind to believe this whole time you convinced yourself that you love this person and now you know this person is going to be no more even though Danielle was going to be okay and uh and so that day Shaka came the director karate of the script he looked at all of us and we were all just real quiet and he was like I think we should have therapists on set and we were like yeah so I took that with me and I was like you know I'm gonna ask for this of the sets that you're on have have had therapists on it I think that can be a really fabulous addition exactly exactly um Anna for you you are sort of stepping into this sort of public Sphere for the first time with with what I referenced before is is one of the sort of biggest franchises with one of the most rabid fan bases in the entire world do you get any advice whether it's from folks who had been on Game of Thrones of of how to to navigate it and and if not are there things that you know now that you wish you had known perhaps a year ago good I I uh I feel very lucky in that I think people um like I spoke to Amelia Clarke before I started shooting and she was beautiful and so generous uh what does she tell you what does she say to do or to not do yeah like loads of stuff which honestly I'm just like gonna like absolutely but I just think that your reality changes so radically that with the best one in the world it's unimaginable is like where I am I feel that I'm at like I feel relatively or like I'm also very lucky like that wig is a blessing and um you know people don't recognize me so my day-to-day is uh broadly unchanged which I feel very grateful for because not least because maybe this is also it's like a question like I feel that kind of invisibility and the ability to observe others and not be the observed they're so kind of fundamentally important to our job I think I feared it having a sort of tangible impact on kind of on how I do my work because I think I've always I think I became an actor as a result of being um just relatively uh looking looking for ways of living of being in the world uh the other looking for other people's roots to being in the world I think uh wanting to understand how other people were managing it better than I seem to be um but without being able to look at the people because suddenly you are the object of the gays I just don't know yeah I guess I just really worried about that anyone have any advice yes it's a it's a bummer I know it happened to you in the most intense yeah I mean yeah um I mean it's just an enormous loss right when you when you are the the person that the eyes are directed toward and you can't just the loss of being able to just smile at someone on the street and say hello is um as yourself is is a really really intense thing and something to mourn and not to be taken lightly um it is and probably an a natural outcropping of your success and your your beauty and your work so it's not something to be totally feared but it is something to know for yourself okay this I need to talk about this I need to know about it I need to call Garner and or you know and just like figure out where can you it's just navigating it where can you still observe where can you be quiet in yourself and and making room and space for those places it's also true that it fluctuates yeah it does um which is heartening right because there are times when it spikes and it can be because you you got a haircut or there's some disruption in your personal life or you know and it's uncomfortable and the volume can go up and and then you you know I take some comfort in those periods and those peaks of like this will dissipate um and I'll be afforded a lot more freedom soon I mean I look what I've experienced is just a modicum of what you and it's like a different to a different level but I think um denial is great A great tool um and you can kind of set the tone too sometimes it's totally beyond your control but you know if if you're not that interested in it then people take the cue from that I think that's more true now than it used to be I think there's a and maybe just because I'm older now and I'm not at the center of things so maybe it's just calmed down enough for me in a really some in a way that I'm so grateful for but I do feel like you have a little bit more maybe it's because of we can control our narrative a bit more just just kind of saying this is just not who I am so don't come to me for this in a way you know also with photographers I found um actually approaching them like directly because I used to be terrified of them and if you just kind of say hey um do you have a shot now can you can you back off but sometimes it's involved like that's where it used to work at all yeah well you again it doesn't compare like it doesn't compare but but but one oh god with kids that's the worst actually um yeah because then it just your pregnancy I mean they just want to track and right consume your right it's pretty it can be gross but it's also yes but I think you're you're totally right that there are many spaces and and some sometimes they're surprisingly public ones yeah it's hiding in plain sight yeah it's like on a subway yeah nobody yeah Disneyland yeah you know I can be at Disneyland oddly right yeah can I say one thing though the world of being famous it's really pretty beautiful it lets you connect with people if you if you use it to your advantage it lets you connect with everyone around you there is something just I I'm I'm just people are so nice to me I'm so welcomed into a conversation with just about anyone and so while that might not be your favorite place to be is in conversation with the stranger there's a lot to be gleaned from it and I just don't want to like be such a Debbie Downer about it all right because it is a it's a really lucky thing it's a lucky place to see the world yeah that also goes both ways I mean people aren't people part of their being so nice to you is because you're giving that to them it is love for who you are and what you have have done I mean if you're someone and this is a different thing but who engages with a lot of you know people who have wonderful things to say about you but also the handful of sort of trolls who don't is that feel masochistic or is it yes yes okay okay and is anyone saying anyone in your world saying like oh just just don't look don't don't don't think people have been like relatively Anonymous for 30 years of my career like I started when I was 15. yep so it's been very hard to get used to people paying attention to anything I say I'm I don't know I was in group therapy for five years I'm like a person who I don't know how to make small talks I don't know I'm paralyzed I was very shy as a child I can't just like easily sit around you know I I only know how to connect and have a lot of respect for writers and journalists and you know and so when I'm sitting down with somebody I want to connect and I'm finding it very hard to get the balance rate of not being too forthcoming because you're not in control of how things get spun off and there are headlines at where you're like well that's not actually the thing that I said you know like that's so far removed from the point I was trying to make and I sort of Desperately wanted to re-controll it and you just can't so I'm sort of learning now I also was like bullied as a child we moved a lot and I was very very shy and very weird I'm being honest and um so I have a hard time now with bullies like there are a lot of bullies on the internet and I don't want to talk about it specifically but like it's hard for me sometimes to not just say like I actually have a voice now well and also when you're clapping back now you have a whole Army I mean how much is also kind of a difficult thing because I don't want anyone else to be attacked I'm figuring it out I'm stepping back I'm gonna figure it out but I also like I don't know I'm a very open person I want to which is a wonderful thing yeah that's interesting you're saying that because I I don't know like as soon as the show came out I felt like I was back in the playground yeah like this bizarre hyper visibility paranoia and and this bizarre like the this is our type of sociability that I found very difficult to reckon it's just like really interesting to hear you say that yeah did you um because you knew that it was going to happen did you find ways to prepare before I find like this is small again but like last summer I decided to ride the train in Brooklyn All Summer just because I didn't know when no no that next summer when this thing happens or this thing happens I tried to in a lighter way because everything's so heavy but like in a lighter way be like what are the things that I that I might miss If This Were to change it's so annoying riding the train but one day I'm not gonna be able to do it probably whatever and then and then I won't have it so I wonder if that was something or even just going forward with the things that you love to do that you I might not be able to do it but I can do this now so you can enjoy it I love that idea I mean I think like uh I'm probably um I'm much less recognizable than you so I haven't caught the train yet in such a like intense way apart from doing like the air compressed tour um for which I was totally unprepared but this is the problem because I felt like and I think this is maybe just a failure of I don't know like good packing on my part but like the new reality arrives before before I have the tools for it every time like and every time I'm just proved really naive like um and I go to this was predictable you know like maybe but I and and you can prepare a little but you know like it reminds me of what we were talking about with being triggered on so I can't really anticipate what is gonna penetrate and and what is what is going to be harder to to manage or disengage from you know automatically and I didn't want to feel when asking for the therapist I didn't want to feel like oh man she's dramatic or like because because I didn't really know if I was gonna need it but I thought you know it's better to have it and not need it than to need it I have it so I just threw myself yeah no I think that's awesome totally ever heard I think that's absolutely right um Melanie you were sort of describing this this sort of point in your career now where you've been doing work for for so long that was celebrated but on a smaller scale you're now doing things that are sort of squarely in the Zeitgeist and I would say the same with your career you've had all of the success um and yet I've heard you talk um about this idea like I didn't know you could be a late bloomer in your career um I feel like with you you read you often read descriptors I'm going to quote some now that go something like after decades in film and TV as a secret weapon the industry didn't quite know how to use I'm curious like did it feel that way to you I think you know the one thing I do know sort of realize is that sort of White Lotus was sort of this moment and I'm more you know I I don't know if it's because it was sort of a comedic role but it was mixed in sort of with a very dramatic yeah sort of story and and and and and I think maybe it was the mixture I mean I sort of did a lot of comedies and stuff where I was really pretty much just comedic you know look at Legally Blonde had some sad you know or whatever like you know you have these little sad moments right but it's more of a very sort of upbeat comedy and I think I don't know for some reason the reason White Lotus had I had very high stakes uh-huh and then there's some little comedy mixed in or whatever but um maybe that was it I don't know I don't know if it's like people I always feel like people pick up when you've given up people you know it's like when the guy you always wanted uh-huh and then when you're finally over the dude you get the call or whatever and he's like hey I've really missed you whatever you know or that you know you bump into them they're like you know I really want you know and you're just like too late yeah I mean you know you're just like but but with this it's it's different than a human being it's sort of like um I'm not angry about it no I'm not angry about it I'm not I'm not angry that this is happening I'm thrilled you know it's not like you know someone who like dissed you for years it's not that but um but yeah and the other thing that's sort of great is that um I think it's just when you don't think anything is I think you when you think nothing is possible it's nothing positive not that I'm like that much of a downer but but I just didn't think anything really I had I thought I had my moment you know I had my little moments my little comedy bits movies whatever like this and I felt like it had all gone and it's all the wave had passed and um and then this sort of unexpected moment it's just um thrilling because um you know I didn't have this for myself I didn't have it I didn't think this I mean yeah maybe when I was like 15 and I was like you know I'm gonna be the lead and everything you know these unrealistic but but now um yeah I mean I'm I'm thrilled and it's I'm so happy I got this moment before I croaked okay so what do you do with the moment what doors have opened that were previously closed and how do you keep it open I was really you know really cool I'm not saying this wasn't happening before I did get some jobs from people that I really do respect um that you know and I still you know and I will do future jobs with a few but but I'm saying like you know you know without any names some really cool people have called lately I'm sorry I'm gonna have cocktail tonight no you know whether it leads to anything I don't know but you know what I mean and then who knows maybe this moment will pass and it will get you to Thailand you gotta come back yeah but um yeah but like I said I'm I I there's not one negative side to this no moment I just uh you could not have ever told me that this was going to happen and I would never would have believed you and uh um yeah I'm just so nice too that it was born out of uh you know a pre-existing Rich long-standing friendship right to to walk into a shared success with somebody who you love your trust is also just makes it that much more wonderful and a little safer to enjoy it yeah and plus you know like I'm glad you brought that up because it was someone who gets so much of the credit it was a friend of mine it wasn't like I created this myself it was someone who gave me this amazing gift isn't it incredible when somebody that you respect us says I see you in a different I think you can do something different than I've seen you do and I really want to check it out it's amazing yeah that's a great feeling Emma I've heard you you said for a long time that you felt uh pressure to quote I'm going to quote you present as a woman in order to find success in this industry it wasn't sustainable and I stopped pretending and at that point you obviously started to find this real success how did it change and what does that ultimately tell you I mean I was very lucky because I'm aware that it could have gone the other way yeah but uh no I mean I must say to him about like really small things like I you know it's weird no one tells you once you get an agent how to have an agent that's so weird like you try and get an agent and then suddenly you have this person in your life who who now takes care of all the things that you previously did yourself and then and you're supposed to trust them but I think I sort of got an agent which I which is what I thought I was supposed to have done and then I panicked that I duped him because I'd because I'd grown my hair to look more like a girl so that I could be an actor and then as soon as I had an agent I thought I just don't know how to live like this and I am I going to do this forever and it can I even get a job if I if I don't know like this and I don't know I have a job anyway so maybe it doesn't matter I work in a shop um so then after like a a about a year I just I just thought do you know what I'll just um I'll do other things I would you know I do things I do things so I'll just um I just cut my hair and I'll feel better yeah and then I um I'd never told my agent that I now looked quite radically different I guess I just realized that it was it was fundamental to be able to live in the gaps like um I've never it was interesting when you were talking about I was bothered to pieces and um I just wasn't very good at like I just didn't exist well you know so I was sort of a good Target and I think I spent a lot of time wondering how other people were managing it and then did a play school and discovered that there was incredible freedom in being somebody else especially when you're starting out in your career although the freedom from getting to do your job and play another person is exquisite and uh perfect there's loads of other time I probably um felt more comfortable and so I probably was better at better at my job and better in auditions and better at the interstices of kind of the role of an actor which uh mostly aren't you know being on stage and doing the thing yeah no I I think that is is very real Jenna I was I loved hearing about you know I'm guessing you get all sorts of things uh sent to you last thing you told me was one that where you were writing passionate letters of of here please consider me for this was that because you didn't think it was something that would a type of role that would come to you or what was it in that in that book in that story that you felt like oh my God I have to do this like Claire I really connected to the book and I I I to Fleischman is in trouble I connected Celestine he told me um and I I just I loved this woman I read it first as a mom allowed to one of my teenagers at night um it's kind of a thriller it's not something that you would typically read to a kid but you know things got spicy during the pandemic and it came out and we just read it and we kept kept speeding through and just staying up later and later to because we were just having such a good time and it wasn't a role that was available and when it became available it has it was just a story and a book and a character and a book that I hadn't been able to let go of and I'm I'm not like Hannah my character but I felt like I needed to play her out I felt like there were things in my life that I could play out through her and um and I wanted to check out what it would be like to be more still more calm less extra than I Am Naturally um yeah so I I didn't see myself as someone who would be considered for the role necessarily but um what can you do sometimes you just have to take matters into your own hands and just it's not enough just to raise your hand I mean there there are lots of people raising their our hands on our behalf our agents are you know saying like oh think of this person I needed to say I am actually um an extra strictly connected to this character for some reason and I actually need to do this and let me just tell you why not an autobiography because it's not that clear but there is something about the way this woman becomes a mother there's something about the the way this woman is challenged that I really would appreciate the opportunity to explore and do you feel like you got out of it what you anticipated I think I did yeah well first of all I learned to turn wood which which is kind of like the whole reason I mean that's one of the luckiest things for all of us that we learn to fight that we learn to turn wood that we learn to hold stethoscope or we learn languages or you know we've we get to have these did been to these other worlds and ex you know experiences and that was one that was particularly cool I love that Dominique I'm curious for you you referenced uh Transformers so you're about to uh be in this sort of huge uh franchise is that more intimidating than doing something like swarm you know I I make kind of all of my choices based off of like this inner child the one who watched the movies and said I want to do that I like I told Stephen cable you know if I'm gonna do this I'm an actor that loves to talk about character and I want to and I was like I'm gonna have notes he was like give me your notes at two o'clock in the morning for this big Blockbuster movie and like two or three times I sat with the writers and it doesn't mean that those things are going to be in the movie at all you watching and it's completely different but at least I got to to speak for it I could speak for myself and for the character and be true and I can go to sleep at night knowing that I did that thing um and so in terms of that no I approached them all Sam if it if my inner child wanted to to do it then why not try I love that well as a few of you have been in these sort of map I mean I'm looking at the two of you who've been in front of these sort of massive Blockbusters whether it's an elector weather um uh I was like oh yeah I did terminated yes remember that I know I'm thinking is there any advice you've sort of anything you wish you two had had known that would be helpful here or had done or done differently that may be helpful if she navigates this oh I wasn't carrying it though I was just dipping in going whoa cool um but no I'm just so impressed again that you were you knew that about yourself that you were very comfortable sharing that your wisdom is yeah no I'm not different sides of the coin of young wisdom that is so beautiful to see you know um they're related but different and it's really I wouldn't I wouldn't it wouldn't have occurred to me to DARE uh uh share my process with anybody I would just quietly sneaking you know still smuggle it in at this point Who's comfortable giving sort of notes to I know I feel more comfortable I guess okay yeah yeah um but but with with a behemoth project like that being you know younger I would have just kind of inserted myself discreetly which is I think I think it was that uh uh I started in this data company where in order to act you had to write your own stuff at 15 and so I got used to they would say oh it's too long you have to edit it yourself so then we go and edit this MCC theater they kind of gave me a confidence that was like no you know what you want to say you could say with Judas and back Messiah I read the script and shock said oh I wrote this role for you so read it and let me know what you think so I read it I give them an email of all the things that I love and I say hey I have two thoughts but I don't want to overstep you know he said oh you won't you won't overstep I said well the Panthers were very poetic people and and uh she the first thing she says is do you like poetry and we never hear any poems I think we miss an opportunity he said I think you're right do you want to take a shot at that poem so I end up writing the poems in in the movie really yeah so it helped and and he was supportive like that and so anytime I go in these General meetings with these directors I say Hey listen I never think that something's supposed to be how I I want it to be but I do like to talk about it and if you like what I've done then please know that I'm a communicator but also just to say too like the work that everybody here has done has allowed you know me to be able to speak the way I do it's not you know it's it's to say oh yeah you're from Brooklyn like I do this stuff and I'm this and that but also you guys you guys were there first and you did everything first so it allows us to be able to say hey I have a voice about this it's not just because we're born born this way you guys let it incredibly gracious and generous what's a role that that you would love to play if only you were uh if only you were asked is there a type of a person that you have not yet done yeah I'm very excited to be sitting next to Claire right now because Romeo and Juliet like Julia is such a dream role like on stage and on film and I watched I watch said over and over again as I wanna I Wanna Be Juliet and so uh to be sitting here next to you is really really exciting for me I want to see you I want to see you actually oh my God that's the manifestation is there anything else what would you dream of doing I don't know I just sort of choose everything based on Instinct so I don't know till I read it somebody could describe a role to me and I could be like that sounds like the greatest thing I've ever heard and then I read it and the voice doesn't come out of me you know like I just need to internalize it some way from the page so it's very dependent on writing but we need a light comedy is what we've decided I mean I would love a comedy yeah I would I would love a comedy I'd like to play someone very skinny but then I have to get skinny no I'm joking I'm joking no but no but I I would like to I would like to take a role on you know that would would involve um improving myself you know I mean like I want to be given a job where I have to improve myself so that I you know what I mean like like the director says if you don't improve it you're getting fired just lose some weight and I want you yeah we want you to like you know you know like you're gonna your famous ice skater and you have to do triple whatever and you have to really do them or something where I would like have to really get in great physical as something where like a superhero that we need we need a Marvel or something yeah something where it's like someone says you have to do this or you lose your job because it's so hard to be motivated yourself you'd be so good in pleather there we go we had to wear pleathers ah exactly as you I should be wearing Blazer right now I guess I would like to do something more comic too nobody has ever let me do anything remotely light or humor I often call that out into the ether like that may be funny and nothing comes back oh well um well thank you guys all for being here foreign [Music]