House Treats the Baywatch Chick (Carmen Electra) | House M.D.

thank you three guys walk into a clinic their legs hurt what's wrong with them I'm not gonna like you am I I'm most likely cause of leg pain is muscle strain apply heat and rest affected areas basically you're right very good my experience over half of like panties musculoskeletal generally from excessive exercise 12 is varicose veins brought on by pregnancy and most of the rest is the result of vehicular accidents I said three people that's six legs so you've got three hurt jogging two in collisions and one of the legs is pregnant what are they doing in pain presented I have no idea you didn't ask you didn't take a history of course but all that told us was what they said happened person a farmer says he was fixing a fence tightness in the ankle loss of muscle control person B volleyball practice [Music] coach figure it was a pulled muscle and C we've got Carmen Electra golfing you treated the Baywatch chick the Baywatch thespian and no I gotta disguise the identity of each of the patients and I got tired of using the middle age man Carmen seemed like a pleasant alternative also she's apparently quite the golfer in less than two hours one of these three will be tossed out of the hospital because they were faking it to score narcotics and one will be very close to death any guesses on which is which okay I say we start with a farmer did you hike to the fence and how far yes it's about a half a mile from my farmhouse and where is the pain localized it started just above my ankle and it's radiating up so what should we do first family history indicative of leg pain that's a very short list any history of bone cancer osteogenesis imperfecta or multiple myeloma could be a blood issue we should run a CBC and a D-dimer and get an MRI MRI or a pet scan if the problem's vascular he's better off sorry thanks for playing patience dead you killed him we had no time to run any tests there's nothing we could do we had time to look at the leg [Music] I thought we were starting with the farmer's case first we are if we're going to look at a leg I need you to take off your pants foreign [Music] [Music] snake bite that would be my guess farmer didn't know he'd been bitten by a snake that's what he said sudden shooting pain Tall Grass never saw a thing what kind of snake you want me to tell you what kind of snake it was from the shape of the hole in the leg well how are we supposed to know what kind of Anti-Venom do you use if we don't know what kind of snake it is oh there are people to find those things out we wait for the Humane Society or something I might only have a couple of hours Humane Society to show up let's say we check in on the volleyball player you have 10 tonight how old is this bird 40 year old man on a girl's volleyball team right is it leg legs the legs the leg well I was just worried that would you worry about her more she was younger well obviously we should care about all our patients no matter what age what yeah right I saw the way you were looking at Carmen She's Mine stay away would you operate on your mother of course not I'd be too nervous couldn't be objective then why are you so anxious to treat every patient like their family the actual patient is 16. here's what happens when doctors care too much I need to know everything about you I went back three generations no history of cancer Parkinson's or any other degenerative condition but there's this boy at school and he's on the boys volleyball team and they made out at a party and now he won't call her back and this friend of hers at school so this boy didn't like her and never did you got all this from an examination to me I think she's depressed she doesn't have tendons she has tendonitis she's depressed about it she's depressed for the same reason that she has tendonitis not the boy no the boy's a jerk she knows that and yet she's depressed I found a nodule ah problems with the thyroid gland causes depressed mental state can cause inflammation of the tendons I'll run the tests so because she took such an extreme interest she found out that the person had a thyroid condition no because it's such an interest she discovered a tiny nodule which in reality signified nothing but gave us no choice but to put a person with tendonitis through an expensive and painful test here's how a well-adjusted doctor handles a case [Music] can I put my pants back on now I'd rather you didn't which Carmen Electra is this first one the golfer and why isn't she wearing pants you have decreased reflexes in your patellar tendon anyone slip disc could be how bad does it hurt it hurts really really bad yeah it doesn't seem real is she the one faking oh for God's sake she's here to play into my fantasy not because she's Meryl Streep fine what the hell is wrong with me do something too much pain to be a slip disc could be herniated and impinging the nerve roots or it could be referred pain from this groin sir are you getting pain he's curling it's not the Back Sir where are you getting out of me it's not gonna tell us anything if we don't get him out of pain give him 50 milligrams of Demerol we have no history he could be allergic what do I do we can't diagnose him while he screams better than killing him with painkillers that all right [Music] apparently he's not allergic thank you I feel a lot better now [Music] [Music] [Music]