10 ESSENTIAL FACTS ABOUT PARENTING that you probably didn't know

10 ESSENTIAL FACTS ABOUT PARENTING BY NIGEL LATTA. 10 essential facts about parenting by Nigel Latta this video contains an extremely important selection before your child drives you crazy New Zealand psychologist Nigel Lada is a magician and wizard of modern child psychology Latta worked with problem children and adolescents for more than 10 years until he realized that the knowledge and experience he had accumulated were required not only by parents of difficult children everyone needs this knowledge including those who have just begun to seriously think about Parenthood and then Lada wrote his best seller before your child drives you crazy one relationships matter relationships RELATIONSHIPS MATTER. between people are everything anyone who forgets about this risks losing everything this is the most important rule that any parent should remember a child is not just a small person for whom you are responsible he is also a person therefore it must be respected in relationships built on mutual respect it depends on this what the child will become in adolescence and what he will grow up to be as a parent you teach your child how to communicate with other people by example without a sincere human relationship this is impossible it's not about control it is easy to control children especially small ones it is enough to intimidate them but this is of little use if you force a child to behave well with the help of intimidation then he will not understand the main thing why do this in addition sooner or later the child will grow up and stop being afraid of you perhaps you will cease to be afraid of anything at all and then he will have no incentive to observe morality at all two TREAT YOUR CHILD WITH SYMPATHY. treat your child with sympathy loving children is easy finding pleasure in it is difficult children are sure that their parents love them this is an innate feeling even if at some point you do not pay enough attention to children or punish them for wrongdoing they still believe in your love but affection is a different matter most children feel when strangers treat them coolly and even with indifference and just as well they notice when they are unsympathetic to their own parents although you love them there is no Paradox in this every parent knows deep down that a child can be both loved and not loved at the same time I love him but I can hardly stand him such words can be heard from parents unfortunately quite often parental love is an automatic feeling an instinct but sympathy arises when you like the child as a person when you are interested in him when you both enjoy communication try to show a sincere interest in your child and educate him in such a person who will be pleasant and nice to you free children need a lot of attention CHILDREN NEED A LOT OF ATTENTION. children or piran has demanding attention they devour it greedily all children need attention there is never enough attention sometimes kids go to Great Lengths to get noticed however they of course do not take into account that the way they attract attention for example whims can turn against them if there's an opportunity to get your attention the child will take advantage of it this is an instinct in children they know that parental supervision means safety and they will try to do everything so that you cannot let them out of your sight for a minute with a lack of attention the child will turn into a bloodthirsty piranha and suck all the Jews out of you with his pampering so the advice is this pay more attention to children four REWARD THE GOOD, IGNORE THE BAD. reward the good ignore the bad if you feed something it will grow if you not feed then it will gradually fade away no matter how tired you are it's important to encourage good behavior and more of a bad if the child does something wrong ignore it if he does something really good then this just cannot be ignored reward good behavior in your child will behave well more often ignore bad behavior and the child will gradually stop acting up on his own yes it will stop it seems to you that this is impossible but remember all behavior is a search for attention paying great attention to whims you let the child understand that the most effective way to attract attention to yourself and provoke a reaction is to pamper and tantrum this is a simple principle take a closer look at yourself often parents do not think about what kind of behavior they actually encourage and reinforce in the child five give kids boundaries if you don't GIVE KIDS BOUNDARIES. set boundaries for your children then you are an idiot boundaries are not set for various reasons for example hippies did not restrict children in anything because they believed that they should freely explore the world also children are not limited by lazy people it's easier for them to do nothing at all and they let education take its course Restless mothers are afraid to limit their Precious Child in some way and thereby damage the already fragile children's psyche do not limit because they want to be children not parents but friends but if you allow children absolutely everything then they will behave like little monsters initially children have no boundaries or rules and you must Define these rules and strictly adhere to them the child moves until he hits an obstacle that is his nature however all children are different one will not cross the border just knowing about its existence the other needs to crash his forehead into the wall to understand that it exists but the world without border seems to be a very dangerous place for a child and therefore he will require even more of your attention for his own peace of mind make it easier for yourself set a firm no for a number of actions of the child and hold the defense with all your might there will come a moment quite soon when the child will accept your no as an action and then you can breathe a little more freely six TRY TO BE CONSISTENT. try to be consistent everything is relative everything even consistency especially consistency do not praise then ignore then punish for the same actions yes being consistent is hard sometimes it's very difficult being a parent is hard work and often a person is ready to do anything to maintain their peace of mind but giving in is a big mistake no should mean no always at any time of the day or night once again outline the rules and stick to them yourself do not confuse the child but if you do not restrain yourself do not reproach yourself we are all human and self-flagellation can push you far from the goal seven DON'T FORGIVE TERRIBLE BEHAVIOR. don't forgive terrible Behavior it never ceases to amaze me that some people can tolerate The Worst Behavior from their children if a child swears insults parents or froze Tantrums this cannot be forgiven yes all children are naughty from time to time but this does not mean that you need to calmly watch this and slow down because it will only get worse it may seem that this rule contradicts the fourth point but it is not if the child does not stop Behaving Badly then this should not be ignored but stopped because most likely the parent encouraged this behavior before without wanting to the situation may not get better all at once but it will in this case the child is not at all obliged to agree with you in everything do not suppress his will but remember that arguing is normal but showing disrespect to parents is not arguing means that parents are raising a child who can think and ask questions which means they are doing their job owned opinion is good because sooner or later the child will grow up and live by his own mind but disrespect is different it cannot be forgiven let alone encouraged this must be fought eight make a plan MAKE A PLAN. the only thing that happens unexpectedly is surprises if you intend to re-educate a naughty and mischievous child the first thing you need is a plan of course it is not necessary to draw graphs or write down all the goals Point by point to the last word no need to write annual progress reports but you need a plan it will come in handy in the process of working on the child's Behavior choose one problematic Behavior describe it sketch out ideas for struggle and then strictly adhere to the plan until you achieve the goal 9. all behavior is communication climbing out the window at night and running away from home is a kind of saying whatever the child does he always tries albeit unconsciously to convey something to you something that he does not want or cannot yet put into words even the worst behavior is the communication of the child with the parents if he's naughty it means he wants to say something children are generally more willing to express thoughts and feelings through actions rather than words simply because they don't know much about words yet If the child behaves badly then this usually indicates that the previous eight rules were not followed in whole or in part for example a child is sorely lacking attention or his terrible Behavior was encouraged all the time it is important to understand in time what exactly the child wants to say with his pampering if you figure it out half the battle is already done 10. children are chaos which is useless CHILDREN ARE CHAOS, WHICH IS USELESS TO FIGHT. to fight inevitable chaos and Madness must come to terms children always bring chaos to the lives of their parents as always as soon as a child is born thousands of surprises urgent matters or incidents that cannot be predicted under life at any moment something can happen that will break any of your carefully chosen routines this needs to be understood and accepted do not reconcile yourself join the fight with chaos and lose since it is impossible to defeat it and by the way do not forget that your children have a whole arsenal of ways to bring you to white heat for example a child may be offended by you then get naughty and then argue if the madness has already begun then it is better to wait it out be patient after all after a storm The Sun Shines especially brightly of course these tips can't cover all of Nigel latta's rules and his book contains excellent examples and specific advice so we suggest you read before your baby drives you crazy in its entirety thank you for watching and don't forget to subscribe and hit notification Bell so you will be notified whenever we upload a new video remain better