𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐇𝐨𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐝 𝐒𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐧 Artie discuss Sal's marriage, Howard's Difficult Problem and Telly Awards

morning for you to you not for you all right a good morning for you why not it's uh Thursday such a weird day yesterday you know um we were supposed to have a bunch of guests today and believe me I'm not bitching that they're not coming in I could care less I mean honestly somebody canceled well it was hard for Gary like he had Gary had been calling me all week John qac Mark McGrath and um Jimmy Fallon were all booked for today that's a big show that's like the Conan show yeah it's like a whole was a whole big deal and then like you know with our show it's kind of hard to get three guests in so we asked Jimmy if he could move over the next week because he's around and he said yeah sure you know he's a good guy Jimmy Fallon and then cac's people call Gary and then McGrath's people call Gary and both cancelled wow so it was like you know and Gary knows I don't care right but the only reason I care is cuz they drive Gary crazy well he works hard to make these bookings and you know accommodate people and then you get all ready for them you clear the schedule and boom they're gone s's wife called in on the wrapup show I got pissed off this morning why well because why on the wrapup show yeah like like like I wanted that to go down here oh you mean just be I thought she might have said something that pissed you off no it just kind of like was like do you think the therapy is working uh yeah no I think it's working I think um he needs a little bit more therapy because he doesn't understand where I'm coming from but he sort of became a little bit like What About Bob well we Yeah I broke down a few times with therapy and she calls me Bob when we leave like uh will uh Bill Murray in the movie but let me ask you a question because this is one of the that's healthy this is one of the things that came across today you know it it's it's sort of all falling on S but is it all s i it's not falling on anybody I just think we are we come from two different um areas you know like he just feels that you know because he goes to work you know he's married he goes to work he provides you know well and so everything in life is wonderful and I just feel that you know I work too maybe I don't get paid the same amount of money but I still do this if you know the same amount if not more and you know I don't have any respect for that I go and and I feel like that's what the the underlying issue is really respecting each other and I don't think he has any respect for what I do and what about the other way around though do you think that do you think that there are any issues that fall on you where you know maybe some things fall on you cuz it's cuz the way s talk today was it seems like the therapist and you think s have all the problems well come on Gary I really felt bad for S yesterday man he took a lot you did something to him he attacked you at some point he was goofing around you know we were all [ __ ] around but uh yeah I don't know maybe you can get her on the air later today because uh maybe you can drag some more stuff out of her I mean I wanted to really get the first crack ever yeah that's I kind of like asked for that on the air and then what happens is everybody wakes up and then goes on the rap up show at 11 o'clock uh but then it kind of I said to Gary I don't even want to hear it because it'll if I ever do do the interview then it'll the answers will already be in my head she didn't give she I'll tell you one thing Howard she didn't give all the answers at all we didn't press her hard yeah because I just didn't feel I know it was a very weird vibe in the studio like I didn't press her on well I needed to do that one that's right no I I didn't want toess my hands it would have gone down differently there was one question I wanted to ask that I actually wrote down for permission to ask and it didn't seem cool so I didn't ask and that was the one that you know do you know what does she think about the fact that some of us think she slept with the guy you know I don't know how cool that what you think about the fact that I think she slept with the guy you that's what I'm trying to you definitely do um I'm not sure but if she did I'm I'm still moving forward so you don't know but you just he doesn't think definitively no he's he's been told no but you see all the email yeah it's pretty rough really but a funny thing about Arty Arty I love you so much Arty looks out for me a lot a lot of people don't know that like he he gives it to me but he's like my big brother he really is and your bro yeah he mine not my bro no he's not my bro Howard you're my bro but anyway he's like my big sister right but uh he's a sister the funny thing is I got a voicemail last is this okay Arty I got a voicemail last night from Arty saying hey you know just keep doing what you're doing and you you know you're a good guy and and of course at the end AI wanted to throw cash at me for the situation even with this I I didn't throw he goes he goes well and he goes look you're probably going to be strapped for cash you know lit and he whips out his whole schedule goes let me help you out here's my schedule September 16th I'm doing this July 4th I'm doing this club he had his whole schedule in front of him and he goes I'll throw you money every show whatever you need all right take care but that's that's how he closed it up it was great you know but it's it's kind of funny how what happened when you went home did the wife start in with did you ask her if she Che you never even asked her if she really [ __ ] a guy right I said when we were sitting in therapy one time I turned to her and I said I go I go you keep blaming me I go you tore my [ __ ] heart out I go you you broke the trust yeah I go you cheated on me I go and you've never even apologized about that and she goes I didn't cheat on you she goes I had a friend I go you cheated on me and then she just turned ahead and looked at the therapist and crossed her arms like she oh so she's never answered that question uh no not completely have you ever cheated on her no never no never have get a hand jot from a chick at the Boo or anything like that nothing you just look at them your own hand I can tell sound's a good boy on the road with that bringing it up on the air did you did at least open up the discussion again did you say hey did you you don't care you don't want to even really know yeah I I really didn't bring up much yesterday her sister was there and and uh her sister's you know that was another story I love her dearly her sister but just to have as soon as I walked in the house I see her sister there I go here right exactly what did you do wrong nothing you should be the angry one n dude I did a lot you didn't do anything wrong well he did he understands his his part in all this don't try to dissuade him from that who who what did he do he was an emotionally distant man in his relationship that do we know that for sure yes so why didn't she tell I know it now she reminded me every fck day did were you aware of it or did she kind of convince you that that was the case there's a difference you know what it doesn't take two to tangle you don't think she's emotionally I mean here's the deal did she ever ask you to participate to be involved and did you ignore those signs you know like when we wanted to have or did she just kind of say okay go do your thing I don't now that I look back like when we wanted to have sex and stuff she would be like you know why don't we talk first and now we get aggravated and frustrated like what what what's what's should to talk about right you talk let's talk tomorrow morning about how good the banging will be you know what I mean let it's about more than sex though S I mean it's about being involved in her life I mean did you kind of like let her do everything and you did nothing I let her do whatever when when we were engaged I paid for her College uh she wanted to become a computer graphic designer that's nice enough that's nice enough for should blow you for the rest of your life DN get you anal you are so so you know what never mind I'm not going to even talk to you cuz you're just being ridiculous I'm not being ridiculous at all being ridiculous I pay for your [ __ ] College you blow me be quiet she didn't he didn't have to pay for her [ __ ] College he could have gone out with a college one buyback you should get Trac hey how the thing that really was buming me out yesterday when I was listening to his wife is that all these things that s say first of all Sal's almost like been brainwashed it's the same Mantra over and over again I wasn't emotionally there like AR was saying he's got these you know psychology buzzword he talks in therapist he talks inap but but okay so say what s is saying is true that he wasn't emotionally there for he believes that and that's fine I don't believe what guy is emotionally there but she she took no responsibility she took no responsibility on any flag she took no responsibility on any level for anything that was wrong in the relationship it was all and when I ask very nicely and by the way so s doesn't understand the relationship so she goes out and gets starts [ __ ] I don't know if she [ __ ] him or had emotional involvement so when I asked her about the emotional friend I said do you feel any guilt or responsibility for that she goes it's a long PA and she goes no because Sal ignored me and I had to go looking someplace else and I was like Wow That's not healthy I have a good question for S she is she in therapy was she in therapy before you guys went to one so she went and found she went and found the guy before she found the therapist that's right right why didn't she go to therapy why go to if she's got a problem well she therapist you don't go to a coworker for for your guy therapist why not go to S and say listen s if you don't do this for me I'm going to go find another man that's what I said about maybe s wasn't around to even get that message or she could say let's go to a marriage counselor this isn't working for me well that's what I said I said it's not working for us let's go to counseling or I'll leave you know if you want this guy but when did that happen but that happened after I'm talking before the guy you're you're talking about being a good Problem Solver which obviously neither one of them is well that's the what the the therapist told me that men are the therapist said that men are problem solvers like what's the problem let's solve it let's move on that's right it's called getting [ __ ] done right and they say that women well you calm down and and they said that women just want a a loving relationship they want security they want to feel love they want to know that get a teddy bear the the thing that I couldn't understand was with the emotional friend if it was no big deal emal friend why was the emotional friend a woman if it was no deal big was the emotional friend's C but if it was no big deal why was the emotional friend hidden like what was there to hide if it was no big deal I'll tell you what was are they stopping what what are we but you so to me and again I don't know if this is right or wrong and there's a lot of opinions in here I'm sure it'll tell me I think you really need to find out you need to get closure on whether or not you slept with I told him the same thing doesn't matter to me see cuz wait a minute hold it that knowledge could kill uh yeah wondering about it is it killing him wondering every day would it change things for you if you found out that your wife banged the emotional friend no it would not I think this is not about it would be like saying like would would Art's did Art's mother turn her back on him when she found out he did heroin no no I mean it's it's awful and if you really truly love somebody you'll put all that aside if you want to be with them she go now you put that aside too no no I see but it it does happen are you saying she can do heroin she can do heroin but can't maybe you don't need closure we do I'm thinking about myself in the situation I would need to know if she if you're leaving you're not going to work anything out I if there were kids involved I would I would really work out you could never live with a woman who had slept with another man so stop it when Sal I would talk in my office privately before it all came out of the air I warned him that when they went to therapy that there was every chance that this was going to come out out and he should be ready for it but s doesn't really seem to care about knowing the answer he genuinely doesn't care s's pretty evolved you know what though s may know that he needs the protection of not knowing right no well look if what you know she bang Harley banged me I can't see her banging somebody else oh my God that's the wrong hold CU you're a prince it's the old R the old Ry Dangerfield joke where he goes my wife only has sex with me twice a month but that's not too bad I know three guys she cut out completely Dominic you're on the air no I I just want to make an observation last night when I heard the show I kind of felt bad that Howard and Robin and were not there and I know Audi was but it's not the same with Fred also that show is supposed to be I thought like to replay what happened to talk about it want you guys to speak to her I know I know I'm I'm I'm bummed out about it don't don't rub it in well she call her the it it kind of blows it and ruins it because I would have taken it shows her emotional partner it doesn't because we didn't do the definitive interview and it was S I look at it it takes it takes away no Gary you're not understanding what he's saying and and this is what I'm saying to you it takes away the suspense hey we want to talk to Christine and then I can build it into something but it's by no means done and and it's a stepping stone for her to come here because she doesn't she's afraid to come here and it was sort of I think no he doesn't get it there's a lot more there I love listening you know I listen to the end of the day but it's not the way Howard would do it with Robin playing it but I wasn't that's exact and you know what if I tried to be Howard you'd call up and go you're trying to be Howard I wasn't trying to be Howard at all no that's not the issue no it's it's issue is that that show I always thought it's like the pre- interiew occurred Gary it's like the pre- interiew occurred on the air and I how hard you're working at it Gary but if the show is wrapping up what happened on the show that day happen you know what everyone's waiting for the Paris Hilton interview after jail and Barbara Walters let say he'll do it and then by the time she gets on Larry King you don't give a [ __ ] you see but except it wasn't the definitive interview and I'm not Barbara Walters that's point question of definitive interview it's a question of letting the the four Geniuses get at it in different ways don't you see I don't then I don't I just don't know what to do in other words I mean I don't know I don't know how to react to that because I could easily come in here today and go Gary how did you not let that I don't know I don't know I mean it's very I'm not blaming you I'm just saying it just bums me out that's all I would have liked to I would have liked to crack it I will tell you there was nobody in the room yesterday who felt that we shouldn't have done it like nobody said G I didn't say that I'm just saying I just said it just sucks it's not the way I'd want it to go down and it wouldn't have gone down the same way by the way no absolutely not in fact I I started to listen to it and I was it was a little boring actually and uh I was like uh and you tried very hard Gary but there's a difference when all of you in the room together even when you come in the room that's great Gary but when there when Robin plays a certain way and A's going another way and Fred gives this his input and how it the Gen of all 20 you know it would have been different it just would but that you could say that about every minute of the wrap-up show because the wrap-up show is there to sort of wrap up the day and discuss what happened it's not to sort of do bits but we weren't doing a bit oh yeah Christina calling in with s on the air and working that [ __ ] out is the bit you see it's a distinction but it's okay I mean I want the wrap-up show to be interesting I'm not looking for it to be boring and I'm not complaining I'm just saying that it wish I could have done the interview you know so if she called today you wouldn't talk to her no no I would talk to her but it's different it just kind of like you blow your load and we were all so exhausted from the show as it is yeah it was it was it was a good pacing yeah it was it it's just the pacing in my mind I have this theory in my mind about radio some of it's right some of it's wrong you know but uh this just one of those instances where I just wish they could have delay like in other words we were building toward this it was the big moment well there would have been some tension oh we're first time talking to Christine since we've uh learned this information yeah it's a way in my mind the way it works and you also would have had him going home what they said the night right after all these things maybe she would have heard everything he said it's like you're getting ready to [ __ ] a really goodlooking girl and you come too fast well I've always done that but let me ask one final question oh no you see somebody else doing her last point please went on the Bubba Show and revealed she was breaking up she be like oh or that she' broken up yeah or that she'd broken up you see what I mean it's just it's just the same thing that and and he tried very hard Gary I mean it just right it f it fell flat yeah okay I don't think it fell flat I disagree with that it f it fell out differently than I your parts were great it's just not the same thing I'm not saying it we I wasn't we weren't trying to be the same thing I didn't want that but it it happened and it's fine we'll get over it maybe there should be a system where he can just beep you or something and ask you yeah that's what he wants me beeping him all [ __ ] day long God Almighty you're a [ __ ] annoying [ __ ] I am not so now's after the show I mean you're entitled to an opinion Dominic but God get out of Howard's ass no he's right though because because I don't think you understand what I'm saying like in other words the whole show is like hey come on let's get Christina to call let's get Christina I'll calls her on the phone she won't come on she won't come on and then all of a sudden it's like well then she shows up at 11:00 when I leave and it's like I could have done something interesting with that discussion and maybe even she is dodging the the main event yeah and also I think it would be interest and like if you said to her on the wrap-up show you're dodging the main event and calling on the main event that's something else that's that's interesting to me but the actual interview of Christina how she feels about S and S revealing all that stuff is like stuff that I would have played with on the air in some interesting way I think so um I don't know it's um it's the same thing like you'd say to another radio station don't bring that guest in on another show first come to us we're the main event yeah I I mean I sort of look at it in a different way like when we talk about somebody's going to be on another show and we always say well they they'll do whatever they do when when they come here that's a definitive inter well yeah but nothing meant by it nothing I didn't say anything was me saying I feel bad I know you're not making me feel bad right I know that I want to make you feel bad though I'll make him feel bad your Dam answer that you blew it [ __ ] I'm only kidding Gary I can't even I can't even dig Gary right now because whatever I say he'll just come back to me T your wife [ __ ] somebody go dance with half your mask it'll match half your house I got to take a break so how many people here think that s's marriage is going to end in divorce really Gary you do I do do you really yeah wow I do you do too har wow I'll tell you why I do you H well again it's about problem solving you two are on a different page I from what s tells me about therapy he tells me about the sessions and stuff I don't know I feel that s is putting in 100% 110% yes I really feel like he wants this but I'm not sure his wife does that I think that she's there to try but I don't know where she's at right now you know you guys don't understand how angry a woman can get and when she's that angry it literally Burns away all of her know Robin is child's marriage over over Gary over Arty I honestly don't think so I think he's committed enough to this and with the kids is I think she will be too because of the kids I think I think but is the marriage over I mean people stay together for the kids all the time I don't think they'll get divorced Fred what do you think it depends on the wife right now I think Sal is 100% committed I have to commend him for like really trying to solve this to you know to try and work through this with his wife she's the question mark well like Robin said um I'm giving it 110% because I have to work at getting her feelings back so see that's what a guy doesn't understand he's got a hold it hold it I'm telling you what is not what she's working at she's not working at anything she's waiting to see what he's going to do she doesn't want to fall into the same trap that's exactly what she says every she's almost like on stand want a continuation of what was happening like women all know what each other are talk about we have no idea I'm convinced should go to therapy with her she's considering the emotional Bank empty you know like she had put in everything he drained the bank what about theity there's no equity he he's got to refill the bank you know he's she's she's looking to see if he's really sincere about his right no no no no you're down here Robin's right to no no no no 100% right she might not be in love with s right now she's willing to hang in to see if she can build it based on what he does that was my question has she expressed to you if she's still in love with you or not in love with you um she's definitely not in love with them she said she's not she she loves me more like like let's say like a brother and as the father of her children but was a while this about 3 weeks AG she was being honest and she wants to work towards getting intimate feelings back and if I can show her that I'm that guy that she wants to be with that she fell in love with then those feelings will be back so she's she's making the effort I get it I get it all right all right thank you Dominic all right there you go Dominic the philosopher uh I got to take a break S I don't mean to uh cut this conversation off this is a something I'm concerned about I want you to be happy I consider you a bro not Arty but I consider you a bro and you're a good guy and this has got to be very very painful yeah and you know Christine you know Christine's not here thanks to Robin Christine's not here to to defend Robin well thanks to Robin that she kind of is the voice of Christine today she's not here to defend herself and I love my wife and I without her being I would like her in here I would like her with Dr Keith abalo and and that that can happen but I just want to say that I hope you know whatever assumptions people make that's fine but I love my wife and right now she's working on loving me and we both want to make it work and that's the only thing that's important to me and just wanted to say that I I hope I wasn't out of line with that phone call I don't think you're some sort of Charity case I'm just saying from your work that's all I'm really flattered by it it just kind of funny how you know everything in AR's life you know you sum it up with some scut old that'll make it good time you're on the air be fun to work together that's all hey this is for sale W every guy goes through that my wife I caught I found cards from her and a doctor from the hospital she worked at kind of set that all up have two kids and then I just found some emails around Christmas about wearing a Mrs claw's Victoria Secret outfit and everything else and how she was in his apartment and kissed them and stuff like that sure and she gives me credit for staying there when I told her if she caught me she' have been out the door with my two kids faster than stink on [ __ ] right yeah I don't know man stick on [ __ ] fast I gotta I gotta be honest with you if I knew my broad was [ __ ] another guy I don't give a [ __ ] what my situation don't and not being Howard Stern on the radio and all this other crap forget it all can't I can't [ __ ] forgive that I can't [ __ ] take that would you I am but wouldn't you want to find out why it happened so even if you do walk away from it you don't mistake cuz I got a small dick you happened to me I think it's important for break up with me me she found a guy with a bigger [ __ ] I'm not kidding you I was dating a girl I was madly in love with in college but that's a dating she was an she was an actress she was already working in children's theater blah blah blah blah blah she gives me the call I'm a student really she was a little older than me I was dating her madly in love with her have you told us before she gives me the call she I met a guy I said what she goes yeah you got red hair she goes and um he's got a really big penis so she was an [ __ ] so she's [ __ ] carot what did you do to her to make her tell you that I used to [ __ ] we used to [ __ ] five times a day that's hard something had to go on there's another angry woman why would a girl do that broke my heart you got to go with the Sam kson answer that's that's not the and she left you she left you because she's justco was a good girl I liked her loved her well not that nice she dumped you I remember you dated someone in children's the I remember that I was in love with her not really she left is in love IDE I was in something she left you over your [ __ ] my [ __ ] she left me over my [ __ ] you little [ __ ] discussion at all what are you laughing so funny your wife St [ __ ] some other guy and you're laughing you [ __ ] has a mess with my dick and she never complained about it nice your emotional dick oh she tells me it's unhealthy to stay there for the kids it is unhealthy to stay for the kids you got to make if you don't make it work for both of you do you think your wife had sex with the guy or not honestly um maybe I I'm 5050 MH you know what can I you know I got a lot of email um yesterday everybody's coming out of the woodwork cuz that's what you find out 90% of everybody's living my life they just not out of the [ __ ] closet yet right yeah I'll read you some of the email but what but the thing is um some people saying that I had emotional relationships and never was intimate so it's true and some people say don't believe it emotion is a a code word for [ __ ] buddy you know I mean Robin has done an excellent job at speaking for the woman here of it but I just think as a dude and I think a lot of guys would agree with me I would really [ __ ] need to know if she slept with the guy just but then what would you do it would it way cuz you'd leave you leave here we go reaction to Sal and his wife s is [ __ ] she's going to therapy so later when she runs off with this guy she can say tried but s's an [ __ ] and I can't deal with him she she's milking him for more money he's got to pay for the doctor she still talks to this guy and sees him it's just a matter of time oh yeah all right see uh s is a sucker I agree women use love to keep a man around man wants to make sure woman is faithful woman wants the best life for her son man wants I don't know what the [ __ ] this yeah what the hell is that you actually believe your own [ __ ] at this point you act like a child and insult your wife in the past yet you think you love her deep down you think you love her because you're really afraid to lose your lifestyle and possession of course you care about the kids but you're trying to convince yourself you love her out of fear I'm in a similar situation I would guess the situation is common what do you think of that I don't love my wife out of fear I love my wife because I took her for granted and with her saying hey I'm going to this is what's going on it was a wakeup call to me she ever think if you uh if you and your wife break up who you'll be [ __ ] you no Jessica Han you're on the air yeah Jessica Han hi guys didn't St pick up like when his wife would get dressed up for the PTA meetings and making making him hold his love stuff in his little fold of his penis we talked about that she was dialing herself up and going out on the town there a lot of hints yeah I mean God I mean she was always dressed she wouldn't let him walk on the carpet the screaming I mean she's s i i sorry to say but she's probably disgusted I mean when you want the man to not lay on the sheets sorry sorry you're disgusted honey no offense I mean I'm just saying what I point I I agree Ben you're on the air baltim mean what did she have to do hit you over the head with her emotional friend go ahead Ben these women are like I'm sorry I yes go ahead you're on the air yeah s yeah um I would be surprised if they're still going to be in touch with each other I was the guy who was cheating with another girl that was married MH and uh so don't be surprised I mean she definitely you know fooled around with the guy especially if it's an emotional thing right Frank you're on the air yeah Frankie hey s you want to get back to having sex with your wife yeah he does okay go by the bathroom door the blue hoo Friday night I was there it was good my God what are you saying went down he he's saying s's wife's in the bathroom giving it away hey Howard just one thing for you I have to I got to try that dude thanks why don't you just go down to the blue pick her up I'll put on a disguise there you go do you think Not only was she emotionally involved with this guy when she'd go down to the blue Hano with her friends do you think she was like meeting guys no I think she was doing what Robin says like these women they get together they high-five each other and talk about how they're taking their husband's money and how their penises don't work and all that [ __ ] I would never say that what are you talking about that's all you kidding me since your last kid was born s be honest like how often would you have sex with your wife since your last kid was born twice a month maybe twice a month that's better than some marriages I've heard actually kind pretty bad man well he's a young man has needs the single I wonder you got raccoon eyes are you crying over there no not at all the [ __ ] was wiping the makeup away from my corn no I'm not crying handsy on the air yo what's going on man I just want to say to Sal yo how can you let this chick just flip it flip it on you like that like she did something wrong and like yeah so you're distant but she should have confronted you about it like she Hy here's something you don't understand so if he goes back and says to her look man this is all your fault why are you turning it back on me [ __ ] you the marriage is over okay then it's over so what he's doing is saying okay my wife got feelings for another man how did this happen right so he's looking at it and going I know how it happened he's being honest with himself's saying I was telling her to [ __ ] off basically now now she's not even in love with me I might be able to win her back and show her a new s or the whole thing will be over so he's trying to show her the old s the S who was you know attentive and really inter put her first and put her in front of everyone else and that's what he's doing if he takes the attitude hey man it's not my fault it's your fault that's more of the same old [ __ ] for her right right so he's saying hey honey I hear what you're saying you made your point you're number one in my life and I'm going to prove it to you he's going to quarter like [ __ ] um this character with Julia Roberts and a Pretty Woman Richard Gear Richard Gear that's what he's goingon to do he's gonna become Richard Gear he's going to walk in he's going to bring her flowers he's going to put her in the [ __ ] tub but he ain't never going to look like Richard Gear do you play the piano he's going to play the piano for it a [ __ ] wh Bar Howard you'll see Howard Howard yeah just one more thing um I just want to say to S yo good uh good job on the Toronto show you um for killer the comedy man oh thank you yeah are you 100% sure all your kids are your kids except for the black one yeah hey Howard Howard listen man your Sicilian aren't you I I would never uh I would never tell you what to do on your radio show you're the genius here so I all I can do is make a suggestion yes I think you like it the last day before we go on um vacation for July can we roast s yeah sounds like you're a genius sounds like it's time for the S Ro you going to roast s yeah we got a roast s he's not my you know I was going to keep the roast on hold for a year but maybe you guys are brutal I got to come to that roast man [ __ ] Ley the emotional friends I'm saying well the emotional friend has to be at the roast I might even participate and dress up as the emotional friend and do a routine hi I just want to introduce myself uh I'm the emotional friend right I'm 431 you might know me 143 to you all the material is endless I might dress up as the numbers 143 you know what's funny all my friends that know Christine guys I swear to God four of them came up to me go were you referring to me as the emotional friend I'm like what the [ __ ] she's talking to a lot of guys yeah my buddy Ian my my Jewish neighbor Ian he comes he goes he goes was I the friend your Jewish neighbor is Jewish neighbor what it be funny if a guy came out and say it's definitely not me I'm just [ __ ] her then Chris the cop calls me you know my my best friend grumby goes he goes that wasn't me was it cuz he goes I love Christine I flirt with her in front of you I go no he and my Jewish neighbor and then Richie bellson installer of the Stars yeah he talks to Christine too he does yeah so downstairs yesterday downstairs as I'm leaving he goes dude he goes this is driving me a little nutty he goes but that's not me is it I'm like oh my God is she signing all of her notes to everybody know my God the new code is 4453 what's that your wife hates you by the way uh s i I told her you were an [ __ ] backstage of patro is it me all right uh we got to take a break it's an hour and we haven't taken a break and that's not cool all right take it easy all right Hy thank you s Ro is coming up in a couple of weeks and we'll be back right these words couple of days man how you holding up man through all this I'm holding up okay you know I mean you know nobody knows my life nobody knows what goes on you know in my house behind my closed doors all I know is that I love my wife and you know hopefully she loves me enough so we can stick it out that's that's all I'm working towards you know if I didn't love her I would leave what do you think the male population the male members of the staff seem to think that you're you're brainwashed that you're conceeding too much that you're giving too much to make because it's easy to speak when nothing is nothing is affecting your life it's easy to judge it's easy to come up with an opinion when it doesn't personally affect you so it's easy just to say oh you know what well this is what I think I think you're brainwashed how do you know I'm brain I'm not brainwashed I'm a guy who's who who met my college sweetheart had three kids with her and um I realized I had a wakeup call that she might leave me because I'm not giving her emotional support and not being her friend you know what I mean so that's all I'm working towards so it's the love of your life you want her back and and they're not able to see that because they don't have the same like they're not in the same situation so it's it's just easy to speak about it you know what I mean you know unless you're in my shoes you know it's it's it's it's real difficult uh to um you know unless you're in my shoes there's no way no way you could understand how much he means to you and how much texing this means to you cut fit one two three unless you're in my shoe unless you're in my shoes yeah there is no way you can understand what I'm going through and you would realize that you can't just make a a decision like a a snap decision like that like well you know you're just brainwashed or you know this is just [ __ ] and she just screwed around I don't look at it that way now Howard's always been a huge influence on you and he was talking to you about how much cheating would affect him and how if she had cheated on you or how much he would need to know and how how much of an open sh case it would be does that make you a little bit more Curious now to find out if she was physically because i' I've come to the conclusion that she might have and if she did I'm still moving forward so whether I heard a yes or a no it doesn't affect me it doesn't matter when you love somebody that doesn't matter if you really making it looking to make a change that doesn't matter it doesn't it's unfortunate and it sucks whole thing sucks but to me her um if you know if she did something like that it's still not as painful as to hear her say to somebody else that she loves them right that's the most that was the real heartbreaking moment for yeah right well the next step is a roast that's [ __ ] and I was excited because we won a Bronze Award for best documentary for our 911 retrospective we won the Bronze award this is Howard TV won the Bronze Award for best entertainment category for Howard TV's Cuba Gooding Jor episode uh ironically the Gary Ros was submitted in the in the category best comedy and didn't win but I don't know who did so I was excited that here Howard TV in its first year has won two telly Awards but then Gary kind of ruined it for me well how did he ruin it he he told me like the truth well we won a tell award like three or four four or five years ago I have one at home and Robin rinsky who used to be our producer she was very excited you know we w we won a Telly Award and everything and then she ordered a bunch for us and then uh like a couple weeks later she called me into her office she goes you know what she goes I feel like really burn she goes I think that I think that these are Awards you just sort of buy them you know what I mean like like I think the trophies are like 200 to 300 bucks a piece and she's like I think if you know if you're willing to buy the trophy you can sort of win but the guys here are telling me it's not like that really because I'm excited about it I really do it turns out I like winning Awards well I never have had an award so if there's a Telly given out now could I have one no I I in fact I have both of them but they can you can get more I'm saying I want you want to buy one oh yeah you can get one I'm getting two to my other one so I'll have three and DEP is joking cuz he's got three Tellies to his wife's one you can buy them then why can't we have first place why are we only winning the bronze I'm not sure was there a silver and a gold come explain the award we should be able to buy Platinum Scott dep swears that this is a legitimate award and that it has nothing to do with buying them have you have you ever heard of it before you won it no the Telly Award I thought it was Telly sa I remember the Telly Award when Robin told us we had won it before that's why I know I was like oh is that that award I say we played up and put promos on the air talking about how award winning there is a television award it's called an Emmy right and why is that a Telly but why is it why TV you've got uh the Golden Globes you've got the Emmys you got and what else uh you've got the MTV Awards you know I mean people that's a music tell that's a they give movie awards TV Awards the movie awards that's for movies the GU Choice Awards how many why why do we always have to Ru it for ourselves we finally win a [ __ ] award and now here we are degrading the award award a bunch of [ __ ] this award is just as good as any of the rest of tell me make me feel better about this award why why is this an important award and why is it that we didn't just purchase the award uh well you have to submit to to win and we did that committee and there's a process and it's proven by the fact that we lost one of them lost and we lost before right like we've actually submitted years and then lost Doug we have so you mean to tell me a paid award and we still lose every award is paid to to apply for an Emmy Award you have to PID apply for it and also uh and when you win you still have to pay pay for the awards theem yes you do you get I think you get like two and then after that you you can buy up to three or four more the was telling me like say on the on uh Letterman show if you win an award for writing they give you two but if there's 12 writers the show has to buy the other tag they like $400 each wow yeah this was a discount I won the Billboard Award uh and and it's a really nice looking award and I have it displayed on my you know I use it as a book end and I cracked it the other day I broke it oh ouch now I want I want it back I think they're working on getting a new one oh are they oh wow cool cuz it's a nice looking award that thing is got to cost a lot of money and it turned out I was like you know I didn't think Awards matter to me but when when it broke I was like [ __ ] my award broke I pissed and you know that award I won Robin um for best new film star Blockbuster Blockbuster award that one broke too what what your hard on award I know the glass I don't know the glass broke in it it's like Stone and glass when the glass broke and I was bummed out about that place where things get hot or something I don't know but see you can you can call whoever makes that award like someone can research it and you can get get it replaced so you're claiming Scott this is an important award and we are very very talented I'm claiming it's just as important as any other one and it should be to all of us and secondly I look who judges the T who do we beat I I don't who do we beat in our category well I don't think you don't really beat anyone it's like an open category well here's some stats there's 13,000 entries and of those 7 to 10% wins so it's not like everyone just submits and buys award who who who is the sponsor behind the Telly Awards like who's the company Mr Telly I don't know I really don't know committee are these televised anywhere no no see I remember are not televised Rob riny said that it was like all the details around the Telly they were very vague we don't know where they are can I tell you some other Telly winners this year though yeah please are NBC go ahead American uh I'm not sure the I could look it up uh They just won in the bronze category network award uh MSNBC Warner Brothers the Oprah Winfrey show The History Channel A&E and many many many others the point is though that all of these companies are submitting for their work so they can't be that much of if these legitimate companies are submitting well I'm going to congratulate us then all I know is I now have two Tellies that I am going to display you don't put your Tellies next to your wife's Emmy do you yeah I do dude her Emmy is like twice the size of my one tell at home you see it's almost like it's lit from within the Telly looks like it comes in a champagne box yeah it's cool Jason bring it in what's a champagne box like you know when you mean those long wine boxes no you ever buy like um DP and they got a big green box here look you'll see there it is see yeah a long wine box is what I said yeah there's the almost looks like a mini coffin is this my Telly that's yours this is my Telly Robin 5 pound it weighs too uh this one I won for something I did Cuba oh interviewing Cuba good here it is there it is oh it's beautiful a very good looking award that the same people that make the Academy Award make the Telly I and the Emy Doug I want a Telly I want okay we will get you yes I do too hey uh ignore ignore all their demands I want to be the only holder of the get a just give me a credit card number we take care that's my goddamn telling you didn't have to pay yours is better you didn't say a word during that interview a you are you kidding me you know Sam Simon I know I said something probably said more than I did Sam Simon has 14 EMS you know oh my God he probably has like a it's totally for chicks too because you go there one of them got damaged in an earthquake so there's like 13 pristine ones and one that looks like a limp dick hang and it's totally for bro you like you go to Sam's house right it's a beautiful house beautiful artwork you walk through upstairs you go through the house and you go all the way in the back and there's Sam's office and in the office there's a shelf that goes around the whole office okay and AR right not only are there 13 mes there's like seven cable Aces it's just it's nothing but Awards just lined up right it's total like I'm going to bang you magnet room right that's where you bring chicks but I'm looking at this thing here there's a there's a page it's a Telly Award store where you can go to buy your uh Awards but you do have to win them and it just I'm looking it says why enter it's got all these reasons and the only reason I can see it says you know you can win one of the most prestigious Awards and advertising uh um impress and Amaze your clients make headlines the only thing I could see is that the best reason is that they are in fact made by the people who make the Oscar in the Emmy yeah all right well good and it's impressive to have Awards displayed congratulations to us did you ever hold an Oscar did you ever hold one of those things no it it's very I I did one time just because whoopy Goldberg did a sketch on Mad TV and I was in the sketch and she had her we wrote in a joke where her Oscars in it uh so we made her bring her Oscar it never happened they couldn't make a fake Oscar we right well we thought it' be cool it was the real thing and she just said No at the last minute but I held it and it's like incredibly heavy like it's heavier than this thing so gay you know people congratulating themselves for for making believe to be characters talking like the fact that the Emmy is heavy somebody makes it heavy that's right wow the Emy a real award is heavy all right listen I got to move along congratulations to the whole Howard TV crew and to us for the uh Telly the Bronze award here Scott you going by the bronze two Bronze award guard that with your life and Howard the second one you got was for the 911 which I me that was a great I mean a horrible day but a great job you did so well at least something good came out of 911 we got an award all right thank you I would like to thank no one for this CU I earned it all myself [ __ ] everybody wow the greatest award money can buy as far as C news go very happy with my Telly Award never heard of it until today my friends have Emmys now I have a Telly I can show them I was going to say the table I have my two Emmys on I'm going to use this to prop it up a little bit even it out or pop this and get a beer so either way fantastic where where does one start I mean two telly Awards I mean I would have been overwhelmed with one but two telly Awards um I can't tell you how much this means to me morning after morning of of sort of uh you know toiling away in front of Richard and Sal's ball saxs and uh penises and here I am with two Awards to show for it so I'm I would just like to thank all the fans and the academy and and of the of the Telly Awards and um just everyone who made this possible um it really feels good thank you so so much you know we said it on the air who cares what like if any no one knows about this award there's tons and tons of awards like this is more of an inside it's a for advertisers in the cable industry it's not a national award with a big hoopla ceremony no one would know about the Emmy Awards uh if it wasn't for the big prominent main ceremony but the reality is that there's like 4,000 different Emmy Awards on local levels Regional levels um thanks [ __ ] why don't you [ __ ] turn the audio up more you douchebag I left it the way it was that's the way it was I didn't touch it did you just take a Telly award-winning dump in there I didn't take a dump look at it it's the same head sit on it they model the size after R and the head after you see it was my winner that's the one I got for being an [ __ ] so what were we saying you were saying how the uh there's there's so many emmies we don't even know about this is this isn't a I mean it shows I mean yeah there are very obscure winners of this Telly Award like on on very local and Regional level but there's also big uh networks and the op Winfrey Show and and cable networks and that's what this is about this is about uh honoring those not on such a large scale so in the cable industry you know we applied for it we're in the cable industry and we won and it's it's you win anything it's good especially with this show cuz it seems to be a black cloud hanging over it thanks to Scott but we're going to apply for some other Awards too so we're going to try to get an Emmy that's our goal this year I think we'll do it and I'm inspired by this award my motivation winning this award is is all due to Joe mki the Sim you're on the air go ahead the Sim Sherl midet hey now good morning King good morning uh just great entertainment yesterday the uh the Dr key segment you know the thing is is he's like screwing up your relationship somehow you and Beth have a great relationship and all he's doing is trying to find a problem somewhere you want to know something though I'm being serious for a second I kind of felt uh really even better about my relationship afterwards in a weird way like you think so yeah kind of focused me a little bit and kind of made me think you know I better appreciate my woman all this kind of [ __ ] honestly there's issues there but you could tell you guys are far fine it's like you know this guy's right any relationship especially for seven years you put a doctor in there who trained to see problems and and behavior and the way someone talks are going to find a problem only thing I didn't understand in the whole discussion I was going to ask you guys about this I swear I don't understand this when I say I don't want to have children right and then Dr abalo goes couldn't you at least say you'd consider it I feel that's dangerous because that's not how I feel he's convinced and again I think he might be being a little presumptuous here but he's convinced that Beth is going to want kids someday that's how he's a when she says I don't want children now but I could change my mind is really saying I'm going to want to have children and I don't want to give her any false hope thank you but why marry a person who's saying I might change is what he asked you because I've okay that's a good question I I think the answer is and I'm not even sure I'm right on this I've said to Beth look I want to get married I'm telling you I'm not going to change um and that's wrong I guess of me but I'm not seeing why I'm I'm no it's not wrong of you you adamantly think you don't want to have children but you're marrying a woman who's not saying I don't want to have children either she saying I don't want to have children right now but I could change and this train she's also and you're saying to me then why are you getting married right see this TR I'm not saying it you can do whatever you want Robin does sound right right I guarantee you within two years of saying I do you're going to have another baby well this trained doctor is trying like like is trying to make you believe like Fred what are you saying wait a sec hold it a wait a second what are you saying I think if you're that convinced that you're not going to have kids that issue does have to be addressed with Beth because I I think she doesn't want to have kids right now the only she might not change I tell you I tell you not really no oh evidently we're not if that's the is but it's supposed to be that's we'll be married a little bit but what's weird and I don't say this to scare you but my wife was never one of those people who wanted to have kids either right and then it was like one day it was like the calendar flipped she hadit 35 years old and then it became like the one thing in the world that she wanted to do did you not want kids I was quite honestly I was not uh I was not a big in favor of having kids no right cuz I had a shitty childhood and I didn't know how I was look how much you love your kid though I think maybe because we also had a a really hard time it took us five years to finally have a kid so I guess over the course of time you know did you have to do all that in vitro [ __ ] pain [ __ ] ass did you have to jerk off in a tube and I jerked off in more [ __ ] I knew that how could you not know how did you not know that holy [ __ ] doesn't talk to me and the thing he didn't talk to anybody leave the show a couple of times because yeah it was fun leave the show to jerk off yeah you had to go into a little room and the nurse would like look at can she go sitting in that chair over there there's a little door couldn't you jerk off after the show well I was actually trying to have her like help me and I think that's why she ran out of the room so quickly the nurse yeah the nurse she was actually cute but yeah hey you want me to come help stay here nobody ever wants to do that or they never say that bring your wife in there to kind of help you out you got to do it by yourself unbelievable why is your wife can't help you I don't know maybe they want a pristine maybe they don't want lipstick in the in the DNA who knows [ __ ] the load that gives you a kid you want your wife to cause it the the vad brings out more [ __ ] than than any hand job you know what I'm saying it's like the load that causes your child is that's the hugest load you can have all right listen uh Eric the Sim the Sim you're there yeah Howard all right anything else you got to say uh hey I love over wait wait wait what sorry the Sim what I'm sorry I love this new Fred guy you got on the show I don't know where you picked him up recently but he's great he should talk more yeah yeah Fred's on fire he'll go back in Show game with you later uh we're not playing the Mike Walker game today DN all right he canel too yeah damn wow no gas cancellation shows great anyhow though Howard I've I've been listening to the whole thing I love it all right brother but you did sort of gloss over that that one issue I'm hungry which is what the the child issue I know I don't even know how to that's a tough one dude really is I think I mean I know why he's saying it because you know you don't necessarily want to slam the door on her look at this new Fred cutting a I'm sorry I will always bow to Fred whatever he want you know he doesn't want to so you know she actually has feelings and you should honor those feelings but it's I also think that it's a discussion that has to be ongoing yeah how do you do that how do you have an Ono that's the tough one I think this guy has a train this guy has a trained doctor is telling you you know what Howard she's not saying maybe he's saying for a fact she's going to want kids so you have to deal with that and um I think he's trying to make you dig down deep and say look at the real I he's trying to shake your core and say are you really that convinced look at the reality of it really put yourself in this situation a life without Beth or a life with Beth and a child what would you choose you know that that's what he's trying to make I think that's yeah he's trying to put your face in it see I think you choose Beth and a child I do when if given she because what came out of this was not with the eyes come on of think's right excuse me what came out of this was that Beth said I believe in him even though he says I will never have a child don't believe in me for a minute I know that he loves me I believe in our relationship I'm getting a vasectomy how what do you think of that I really hav been think I went running yesterday way you could convince me I went running yesterday and I said you know what I don't really want to get my balls cut just because I'm a [ __ ] I would hate that I could you can't do that I don't think that's even healthy get to me I am well you know what I got to tell you I got to remind you of another story but you have to be deceitful with it don't tell her no I I know the guys should go and get their balls corrected after they get the best Norris Norris that's all I have to say I'm going all the way then ball removal I'm taking my balls out man was being turned upside down and having air blown in his tubes I got a scenario for you who other than Beth who is the hottest chick on the planet right now to in your mind other than my Beth other than your Beth lovely Beth all right let me think you got to you got to pick a person Who's hotter who's the hottest chick hottest hottest one you would leave everybody for on Christmas I wouldn't leave Beth under any circum doesn't exist or she got she went down in a plane I don't know who's your two girl who's the girl Beth no she doesn't exist Beth doesn't ex no she exists no I'm tell you I have to have s I'm happy I don't even go to scores anymore then you're having a baby you all right let's say Beth unfortunately has an instant where she dies all right go and there's a 21-year-old who looks exactly like her exactly go ahead like that Beth and you find her and you fall in love with well you don't want an exact copy I don't want an exact okay I'll tell you what I'll tell you what okay let's say all right dies I'm probably going to call up Lindsay Lohan uh Cameron Diaz ah Cameron Diaz A Min really good choice I'm going to call her I'm going to [ __ ] call her I'm say listen I'm going she comes over call mine's girlfriend she comes over she has a relationship with you she gets you she understands you completely she does all the things you like to do she lets you do she lets you walk on the carpet etc etc blows me she everything everything and then you have a relationship and you pop her with a ring go ahead and she says I want to have a kid then she got to die too so have a lot of death in this a lot of death but you you've missed out on that one like you've missed out on Beth would you want to miss out on another person as well I don't want any kids I got three great kids and I know that's selfish of me and she hasn't had kids right cuz that's we were just at it we were talking about a selfishness in a relationship or a selflessness in a relationship and here you switch right back over you so you're never going to give it up you're never going to be wholly there right right oh stop it no you're right no you I don't know about that see I I do think I don't want kids I want to have a life Robin as I get older again when you put the obstacle there Howard it means I will never truly no TR give you all of me I'm giving her all of me no you're not she not giving her a kid you're she doesn't want a kid that's what's so great about giving her the choice you're the one who's now saying you have to give up this one thing for me I've given up plenty for her well what if you said you wanted to have kids would she do it you that was your choice you're telling her she has to give up something for you by your choice she can have a kid with someone else then and I'm just to be just be my wife okay all right all right You' be the uncle yeah like they go live somewhere with the kid and that's not a bad deal I I love our relationship I don't want to [ __ ] it up and the kids going to only [ __ ] things up well that's a great thing to say well what do you mean there's no kid I can say that but my point is you're saying that that's the only thing a kid could bring to you not more happiness not more togetherness It could only [ __ ] it up yeah that's what I'm saying that's silly but what's Robin what's wrong with Howard being honest about the fact that this just isn't for him and when you say it's not about whether he's being honest or not it's about two people having a life together you cannot impose your wishes on the other person if I marry you Robin you be and I want a kid you've said you don't want kids no I have always told you if I were in love with somebody and they wanted a kid then I would do that for them you would yeah if I'm in love with them well of course I would look what look what I had to go through it's like I didn't even really want a kid but I knew how important it was to my wife I was willing to humiliate myself and in rooms around the city and jerk off the I may be an [ __ ] but you know I'm a happy [ __ ] today because I've got a wonderful daughter and a very happy wife Fred when you were going through that doesn't it eat away at you when you see like homeless people going to have eight kids [ __ ] nuts it's like kids who were 17 years old get in the backseat of a [ __ ] pin knock each other what if Beth's fantasies to see me suck a guy's dick should I do it no you can't show baby pictures of that that's ridiculous I'll do it for her K Ralph come on what's your comment hey now well first of all I don't know what that scenario is Fred was trying to set up with people dying and stuff but uh it was just trying to evoke something Ralph something you don't understand well well clearly we know Fred doesn't know what he's talking about based on his Soprano's review but anyway but but why would you about like why would you play that what if game like what what if what if what if what if bed F's kids you know she says she doesn't and you move forward with that idea but you don't know that you're speaking that might change a lot of things could change you can't sit and TW twist yourself over something that might happen but shouldn't you have this discussion ahead of time kids are very you cannot wait for this two years into the relationship it's not like changing your hair color Rob stop interrupting yes we've had the discussion but I don't know that we've ever really resoled it's never been resolved how is it resolved when she it soundsol she says to me look honey I don't want children I've never wanted them but what if it does change what would we do she also said she didn't want to think she was ever going to be married and now she's engaged and ready to embark on a a marital life with somebody say you get another I get a divorce that's all oh that's a great way to walk into a relationship you got married again you get divorced again a stupid piece of advice you think so I don't know that doesn't sound so crazy stupidest advice I've ever heard wa what people don't break up over [ __ ] but not you don't go into a marriage and expect you're going to be divorced at the end a prenuptual how do you know that's still married that he shouldn't have a prenuptual right Fred under your logic what's that he shouldn't have a prenuptual agreement under your logic then you know what that does bring up a a sore subject with some people look if you can deal with the prenup then if they both parties agree to it then you can enter into it if one person wants it and one person doesn't then you don't get married this part of the I'm not trying going to be a WIS right now I really don't understand this discussion like in other words I just think I'm being honest and I don't want to I don't want you are honest that's what's that got to do with you you are embarking on a quote unquote committed relationship that means something else you don't get to just sing singularly make a decision how you're right you shouldn't sit there and give her false hope like and go like well maybe I might but they also should be aware of what they're saying to each other I think they are no they aren't not it's not clear I don't think we are I don't think we are clear on it really sounds I don't care I'm my lover yeah well I understand that but my point is that would be the one thing you would continue to hold back in the relationship you have decided you're never giving her all of you I'm giving her all of me I'm just not giving somebody else no no you've decided I keep that decision on my own you will never be making that decis that's why that's why the doctor was saying open yourself to the possibility cuz if you open yourself to the possibility then you are giving all of yourself and who knows maybe you might change your mind in why do you guys adopt me I'll be a kid I don't even care don't want that kind of problem Arty is Art's never going to grow up I'll straighten his ass up I'm out of the house you're never going to grow up he's like having a [ __ ] kid what what is it then can you can you imagine being like 80 years old and you like and then you have a kid I mean I mean the thought kid the thought of that makes me [ __ ] nuts but Ralph can't imagine being 29 years old I mean you can't imagine being in a relationship he can't imagine being with someone h L Ralph that's not true you know I'm 53 right okay and I have this fantasy that you know the day that I leave radio you're going to calm down it's going to be me time yeah you hear saying and God you deserve it I I I understand what you're saying you want to [ __ ] relax yeah I don't want to be chasing around children and you know as much as people go oh you can have help I don't want help for reason like that and I think Beth is so so appreciative of not appreciative but just just so uh in in touch with you and and uh she she wouldn't even want to put you through that she knows you don't want it so I just don't see see sometimes I know you don't understand this but it's it's not really a choice for the woman it's a biological need you're not you're not a chick it's like Robin Robin I mean Beth is Beth is 35 I mean I think that she she's kind of past that point biologic necessarily no it's biologically women K Ki kick kick in around their 30s thank you yeah now 40 Ralph her her uh uh desire of a child should have kicked in already if she women are I've talked to experts it's now M to no no no Robert I talked to a different expert they said by 35 they said 40 every 40-year-old is going crazy no no no did you go crazy no I'm not 40 Martha st's daughter said the same thing she turned 40 and all of a sudden she di have a kid exactly hey uh does Beth have any nieces or nephews yet she does she great with them and she loves them loves them I think the other thing that came out yesterday during that discussion is she's such a loving caring person she has too much love it might be one of those things where she just kind of wants to spread it around a little bit more I'm not into spreading it I want it all direct it at me I think that might be the issue well that's again you back into you're really a selfish human being now you're getting the idea and and that doesn't know that you can't let her have anything of her own me time doesn't include Zahara madx there you go or pan or P San all right thank you Ralph thank you everyone enough of my Rel well that lesbian comedy just got me in the mood to to revive this number everybody I heard Cher and Mary there are two kinds of people in the world today one or the other a person must be the men are them the women are we they are it's a pleasure to be Les lesbian lesbian No Man's Land lesbian lesbian every woman can be a lesbian I forgot in the word we haven't played this in so long I love it it's just so this like the national anthem of lesbianism you know what the name of that song is what Caladonia yeah or view from gay head oh yeah view from gay head all right let's get them in here let's get our Black Jeopardy contestants in here you know I wasn't going to do Black Jeopardy today but I'll tell you the truth we had such these two were going at each other's throats on Friday I said we got to get them in well you know I thought you know this is really interesting who cares more about black history than us we're extending the month past February oh who's this guy that's a black guy oh that's that black lawyer with a red afro would you take off your stupid mask uh you know I hate to say it but he's as goofy as he sounds on the radio yeah take a seat take that middle chair here's the black lawyer who's very light-skinned oh yeah you are black aren't you all right take a seat it's taking them an hour to sit down I love you guys gifts for everybody don't bring gifts just sit down the gift is you're going to sit next to that black woman and fireworks are going to start you got a red afro man I never I haven't seen too many of those and freckles and yet you are clearly black exactly do I get to say hi to point out that Robin's in the booth over there yes I'm in my booth hi Robin looks a little like that guy from mask oh stop it thank you doesn't he one of the bikers no now he's here's our black man and he's wearing an Oreo cookie on his shirt and here's the white guy let the white guy sit over there all right he dates black women exclusively this white guy and he's late like a black man and here's our beautiful black woman and you are beautiful and I noticed you have straight hair here we go uhoh she already looks a little upset she was so good on the phone she was so good on the phone you were so angry put on your headphones so you can hear what's going on and you can hear [Music] Robin get close to that microphone hey you're a little calmer than you were on the uh phone Friday you were out of your mind what what I don't think her mic is working ohy no it's not your fault the mic isn't working because I have an engineer named Scott prob unplugged that when he was fixing the phone I don't know I I don't know what mic she's on it's still not working why do I bother coming in on Mondays can I give everybody the gifts I brought what about this microphone here in the middle of the floor is that working Jack see if that's working could you hand me those bags over there it's plug in where Freddy's Norm coming she's coming that's for you oh one hey uh genius lawyer genius black lawyer genius just calm down calm down with your gifts put them on the floor we're not ready for that I'll I'll direct you what to do I am the Massa on this show all right for once you got to listen to the white man just for once just for today after today you don't have to listen to the white man ever again I don't care what you do to the white man what is that you got that working out it's just say test test no no no I give up because I spent the first I spent the first hour of the show with the telephones because uh it's right now test test oh you know what that remember the other day yeah what talk test test oh it's a faulty uh oh well so that happened the other day and nobody decided to fix it no we'd rather just it's fun to just kind of fix stuff on the air it's kind of neat kind of just drains the energy right out of me I tell you you know this company's lucky I can get ratings even with no equipment they're in here fiddling with the phone I'm a genius while something they could actually fix is still broken yes let's see if it works out can you hear me now now I can hear you okay but you want to know something what I probably won't be able to hear you for long because it'll cut out at any s it'll cut out I'm sure so I'll do my best to hear you though okay let's see if everybody's microphone works okay can you hear me now wow where's the white women there you go all right the white guy is here I don't know what the white guy doing here exactly but you better keep quiet you got it Howard I'm not going to argue with you well he claimed to be blacker than either of these two people no no no I didn't claim that I told Gary over the phone that I've dated black women and I bet that I can beat the two black contestants in Black Jeopardy well we'll see about that he is he's those are Mighty big words pal well I'm going to try my best well he was and our black woman our angry black woman is so nice and calm today what' you take some lithium or something no I got enough rest over the weekend you got rest oh she was tired on Friday her husband was beating her yeah you should know how how's Leroy doing you know you're some black man you're hardly a black man though I'm he does his hair red H it's not died you can anyone can see with the freckles that my hair is red so you're part Irish Danish just call yourself a Danish person from now I think he's more Danish than he is black yeah you're a lawyer you you must have some money you look like you have a lot of money too to me just the way you're dressed and uh the whole thing I don't have a DG really no you're dressed so well and you're very beautiful I don't know if I should believe you no I think you are very beautiful I'd make love to you in a minute you're right I would I mean if you'd have me no oh see there you go you would have not attracted to me at all oh because I don't have an afro no why cuz you're just not my type h well what is your type uh what's his name Action Jackson no all right Gary Coleman that's a black man a young black man boy this lawyer is nutty isn't he who do you represent exactly I represent I have my I brought my resume here with me the lollipop y give me a second all right listen let me just talk to you about Aur of Brooklyn what kind of car you drive there Mr Bouie uh a Mercedes a Mercedes driven driven in uh limousine also you are driven in a well I I was I'm in the process of a divorce from uh oh that's right from your white wife you expect get a lot of money from your white wife well it's an interesting fight that's building in the court I know who you're married to by the way I got it all figured out yeah who can I say yeah go ahead you can say are you uh married into the Johnson and Johnson family yes okay essentially I had it figured out on Friday but I didn't want to say the one who just got out of court that's right oh man it's it's going to be heating up all over again man you married into that and you blew it and you're getting a divorce I decided to walk really yeah that's that was smart that was real smart you you lucked out with something tell that girl I'll marry they got together and they they deciding to pay him to get out of the family is she an ugly white woman that you married um no she's a track really sure I'd like to see a picture of that because if he's the slightest bit attractive I would certainly uh marry her or Johnson and Johnson the company that doesn't even make black Band-Aids in fact she's in right here here's a issue of the top 100 art collectors in the country she's one of the top hundred for the fifth year in a row you seem to still be older than you too yeah yes she is Jesus well I'll tell you something the Mercedes oh we'll talk to him about this in a second the Merced him and his white wife he's going after Bosa now that's what he's doing well you know a prized white woman like that with all that money what what the hell's going on there that's my wife's former mother mother-in-law well just calm down for a second nobody wants to hear your family tree all I know is I see a black man with freckles that's a confusing family tree ever I've seen one it's a narl tree is you're not kidding remember years ago a lot of blacks used to buy the uhac Cadillac now you're into the black status symbols all over the place the Mercedes the white woman the whole thing the whole nine yards you are one big walking cliche and I happen to agree with this woman I happen to think you're despicable and I'm going to tell you why sir I I hate myself so that's why I married this woman that's why I uh no because you're a successful attorney you're a black man you should be marrying a black woman and stop with the white women every two seconds get a control on yourself blacks need help in this country the black women need to feel good about themselves yeah I tortured myself the last 10 years uh being being married to Barbara Johnson anyway let me talk to you about Acura the Lord knows what she was up to she's older than you yes how much older uh I'm not sure approximately 10 years maybe that's why the marriage failed you had no idea how old your wife was she didn't tell him anything it's a very it was a very formal lifestyle we had separate bedrooms and oh really well we'll get to that in a minute you're fascinating young into her backr the sky don't you get the impression that he's a lost soul a lost soul yes no not at all but we'll we we'll give you some direction I'm a majority of one me plus God is majority who said God in here I said your soul well Black Jeopardy certainly turning out to be interesting this morning anyway listen to this if you want a test drive the Acura in fact this would be good for you now you won't tell me your first name you still want to know well I don't know what to call you bua bua why not you stud yeah you know um my name we worry about your name Nicole Nia Nica yeah you didn't grow up in Roosevelt did you no I knew a Nia look something like you Nia how many nias could there be in the world oh plenty that's a very unusual name I got to tell you no it's it's another one of those madeup black names black well I got to I got to agree with him I I know the name Nicole but why add the a at the end she wasn't named uh for Nicole it was after the cola the Nia nicka is there such thing as Nick Cola I don't yes there is is there really what is that it's me Nia is your brother's name diet cola no because if he is I know him as well I think he Cherry that's the whole thing Cherry Cola I tell you black people are more impressed by themselves than anything else things like naming themselves ridiculous names or those haircuts those flat top haircut all right sure now let me ask you about the ACT look he's got notes that he talk a lot of uh got a lot of things on his mind who wants to pick with a black society yeah malcol excrement over there I'm telling you now listen to me you go to Acura you don't have to go to Acura Brooklyn if you want an Acura I think you're going to like this she can just break in and steal ACR listen to this guy huh any more stereotypes you want to throw out before we go on what do you hate your own race no if you can't laugh at your you you think you only should be able to to laugh at other races I think that's racism if I only laugh at at Jewish jokes and don't laugh at black jokes able to laugh okay now listen to me Acura of Brooklyn is so great and I'll tell you why they will send a hey white guy what do you drive what do I drive uh a sort of cars I drive a 300 ZX turbo and a bu regle you should look at the acur as matter of fact if you want to test drive one they will they'll just you call them up I'll give you the 1800 number and they will deliver a car to your house right now let you test drive it I think that's fabulous don't you think that's fabulous Nico you ought to do that just you just get around town that way yeah okay look at her I think she took some Valium or something well the only person who can work her up is that guy right there yeah she you hate that guy right I think I think he needs help seriously some serious help I brought you a present it's right over there I don't want it you'll probably kill me with it what is it what is hand me the bag please no thank you I don't want to hand it's right over there I'm not your it's a it's a GI I said please it's a gift for you yeah where we got to separate these two cuz I think she's are you nervous near him why should I be oh okay I didn't know if you were okay well you said you thought he was going to kill you with it it's a very nice gift just just hand me the bag and so I can give it to you no leave me alone I'm listening to Howard talk Howard [Laughter] yeah here it is 8:00 and I'm in a tiny room with a militant black Islander and a negro with freckles and I need help quick and the white guy over there doesn't look like he's too clear on what is I don't know what he's doing I don't know and he's scarier than these two look at that white guy tell anyway the point is what a group what a crew but I love it I love it I'm going to bring you two closer together you'll see yeah I I admire any white man who can handle black women only dates black women he's all right all right I've heard enough of you now let's meet our Black Jeopardy contestants now to my left is Nia I don't even think we have to change her name because isn't that an African name I would say so that's Italian for Nicholas for Nicholas you don't know anything be quiet you're a white guy you stay out of this all right sweetheart oh oh you're getting it he's trying to talk her he's he's trying to pick her up oh you like her I'm married she's attractive but she's married I don't fool around married woman Nico unless they pay me for it I studied Swahili when I was in college NOA is Swahili for Sapphire what a nut it is no I'm just it is is that true Nia I don't think so all right okay what what is uh his name yeah what is your first name Lloyd Lloyd right although I have I do have an African name I was a jazz musician and OJ simpleton there's a good name for it how about we call him OJ simpleton or Bryant Dumbo I I like the fle buckwheat uh fle B went to my law school be and uh oh you went to be that's where you went right how yeah that's right we were there at the same time that's that's why I now you're a black man who obviously you you date white women and you marri a white woman and you marry here's a black guy who got the key prize I mean he got the prize like no black guy ever got the pride he married into one of the wealthiest families in the world Johnson and Johnson and all he had to do is keep his mouth shut and everything would have been fine now you're getting a divorce what she want you to do that you couldn't stay married to her uh I don't think that she could really see me as an equal and I think I was evolving in certain ways uh spiritually that uh the money wasn't that important anymore in other words you have a small penis is that what you're saying uh she the stud she not at all now what is it your mother is white and your father is black cuz you definitely have white blood in you there's just no two ways about it uh yeah well my mother was actually uh raped by a black man and uh no don't come on come on come on what uh no uh my my mother is uh half white but uh my and my father's black but he's partially white too and uh I grew up in Harlem I grew up in uh Bedford Styers yeah and uh and now you're not making this up no no no this is this is were you beat up a lot as a child or you must have been beat up by a lot of black guys cuz you sure there was there was um well I won't mention names but there were kids who used to always make me believe that I was going to be cut up and left in a plastic bag I had a terrified uh child that was Nico's husband I think probably Nico and her husband his name Bubba is his name Bubba oh dear yeah uh and but uh fortunately my parents sent me to to Catholic school cuz if I had gone to boy high or any of these other schools who knows uh what would have happened so he comes by his anti- black attitude naturally well no no no I I love all people but I I mean I I grew up now you only date white women is that right yes because why I think it's merely coincidence I don't try I don't try to Psycho coincidence think you want white women you want white women this woman Nicole is absolutely correct about you I thought about her all weekend you even said that and then you marry them and they won't even see you as an equal and then you get upset that's one and you marry the white woman and then she looks down on you yeah uh am I correct I agree yes how how long you married 11 years 11 years so he loves white women but he bores all Races so all women are b a confused mix breed a mixed breed yes this is what it leads to is that what you're saying Nicole yes that's exactly what it Le I think my mixture is natural if it were unnatural nature would not allow it to occur I think anything that nature allows to exist is is natural I see all right now let me ask you something OJ simpleton let me talk to you some more because that is your name that is your name for black Jeopardy OJ simple thing you uh elae helped me out of this Elaine who Ela who that's a friend of mine ele loser he's got he's got a ruler and he's got stuff written down on a pad and he's H it's a hunk it's a hunk meter uh we have John Lennon's piano Warhols I mean yeah you got that much money it's easy to collect that stuff hey honey they living piano go buy it yeah go buy it honey with your money no no I had I had plenty of but here's a guy who obviously went into law school he's a black man if you married a black woman you know I'm not saying you have to marry a black woman but if you dated a few black women once in a while maybe the world would be a better place I never had listen I as you can see from my resume I you should be ashamed of yourself you really shouldn't be ashamed of yourself I've got I've got a degree from Wharton MBA I've got Cornell bran University Masters in English I've got you know four degrees three ivy league degrees I just didn't have occasion to meet that many uh you're saying that black women don't stimulate your ivy league brain um no I'm not saying that at all I do have there there are black women friends I've had black women employees I've had employes employees yes uh but for whatever reason I don't I I live very quickly I don't slow down to the point to try to psychoanalyze what it is that I'm doing I just live instinctively you want white women that's all there is to it right one would think that he would be able to sit there up in that mansion and keep his mouth shut and stay under the RO understand how you grew apart you and you had separate bedrooms uh yeah I don't think I should talk about I'm writing a book and you're writing a book A lot of the stuff will be in the book what kind of stuff I'm actually writing two different books one book is called East West how to find your balance of materialism and spiritualism yes and half of the book will be printed upside down from the other half for what a cooky guy for instance the chapter on money the the Western half will talk about how important money is how to make a lot of money how to protect it but the spiritual half of it will talk about how unimportant money is how it's a world of substance how you can live the shortest period of time without air and that's for listen to this guy can live the second shortest period of time he need do without water and that's like schizophr yeah you can't make up your mind on anything so anyway now of course uh we have our white contestant here for Black Jeopardy now what is your beef in all this you just feel you could beat black people at Black Jeopardy well I've listened to Black Jeopardy twice before I've gotten more answers right than the contestants and I feel that I can win that's because he had morons here before before he brought us into this no he had a couple of literate black you know that's the first time you ever said anything positive about both of us you with the red hair yeah that's the first time you said you me OJ simpleton yes the first time you said anything perhaps I wasn't including you in that statement but uh well unfortun I'll give you the of the doubt now where are you from Nia the Bron I mean what country are you from Bronx Africa Bronx Africa I'm not telling you why because you're In Cahoots with this jerk I'm sitting this side I'm In Cahoots with him I just stuck up for you just fried me oh okay I don't know anymore everybody's so skitso around here I don't know I just stuck up for you you you now you're angry with him why because he dates white women no because he he's not all together here Howard listen to what the guy is talking about here has a book He's written upside down part of it is spiritual part of half half of it will be printed upside down from the other half the front cover of one will have my spiritual name the other the what is your spiritual name it's it's c what is it Camu right it's Camu yeah like that's right C many people know me as cam uh I I used scam I was it sounds like he scammed this white woman out a lot of money that's what it sounds like cam I was a a jazz musician back in the 60s i c let me ask you something you you hook up with the richest white women in the one of the richest white women in the world all you got to is keep your mouth shut and live in the Mansion there and uh you could even manage that ultimately you have to live only with yourself and because of where I how I grew I grew up poor in New York City and because of that there are C he didn't say that he's so inconsistent he said his parents allowed him to go to a Catholic school where they get the money for that Catholic schools aren't that I got a scholarship to the high school uh you know that that's not that's yeah where do you get the money for that you know there's Nicole on the yeah Nicole you're very sharp you know that public school is L these freckles we don't know more expensive than public school I'm not listening to him that's funny that you're you're still listening to him I don't know what he's talking about once he got to the upside down book I tuned up you know and and then Barbara puts him into another room and he says well ultimately you only live by yourself yeah we don't know what he's talking about so your wife put you in another room you didn't sh what kind of wife is that you don't share a bedroom with her well it's was a 30 room house you know a black woman would love you that would be great for a black woman a black woman sure well maybe you'll set me up on a dial that's right should straighten him out in a second now Nicole do you think you can beat him in Black Jeopardy I certainly hope so I hope I can yes I have faith in you okay the white guy I don't know he looks mental my doctor will prove that yes and you all know how to play Black Jeopardy or do I need to go through the RO got I don't know how to Nicole all you have to do is I brought my own sound effects this is the sound of women's legs closing hey watch that thing I don't like that he must beat his wife with that that's why she's leaving or vice versa and this is a Spacey sound effect cuz Fred doesn't always get the Twilight Zone for you quick enough all right you'll buzz in with that sound effect all right when you know the answer to a question Camu that's his sound effect I don't know now we do have to give niola a African name you want and me as well how about cashes cheeks Cash's cheeks you like that one for an African name what does it mean it means uh I don't know it doesn't mean anything Cash's play and Bobby cheeks Cash's Cash's cheeks what about the Oprah win lose or draw don't compare me to Oprah okay all right the white guy could be Bryant Dumbo although he's a white guy he should get an African I don't like well he would probably take an African name you to impress some black woman Nicole bag you spelled my name wrong by the way Mister whoever you are Nicole bag what kind of name is that for an African name all right we'll stick with nicoa because that s of sort of sounds African yeah and uh you'll be buley no I like OJ simpleton for you just sort of fits and you're going to be the white guy's going to be Bryant Dumbo because he should have an African name if he's playing Black Jeopardy that's not African enough all right and I'll be uh I should be Winnie Mandela I think for think for this one no you you should be under house arrest you're going to be I'll be Winnie Mandela hey what's that all about well she had some football player bodyguards and boy oh boy is she in trouble now yeah I'm still trying to get the heads or Tales of that whole thing you know there's all kinds of Investigation even her husband is saying well you know the woman's a little mixed up although I was thinking of being Felicia A's Allen Rashad did you see Debbie Allen special last night no I I hate that woman if I see her I just turn the TV right off so I'll be Felicia airs Alan Rashad for Black Jeopardy so I'll be referred to from now on as Felicia airs Alan Rashad when you want to refer to your host right and I'm the host of Black Jeopardy all you have to do is when you know the answer to a question you buzz in Now You See That blower Nicole is it clean yeah it's clean yeah it's only been buzzed in by a few other Jeopardy contestants well if you don't like that use the tambourine yes I tambourine okay Nicole now Nicole what are you doing for a living you got a job what kind of what kind of work are you doing I have to be there at 9:30 right now all right so what kind of work are you doing I'm in a public of oh you say the name so you have some money I don't have any money you don't have any money no not a lot of people in publishing make a lot of money exactly thank you Robin well I mean they must pay you something yeah but let's not discuss that you can't live on it just wait till she gets old Kimo's upside down book yeah yeah well that'll teach you something I'll give you I'll give you a copy of you see you got a rich black now you're going to walk away with some of the Johnson and Johnson money are you not this the divorce is this case is just taking off and you wouldn't believe that the allegations back in for uh what kind of allegations against you yeah well me well me against my wife obviously really I mean she's saying what she's she's saying the pre the Press hasn't picked it up because it's Williams versus Williams at this point because of my last name but so I may we're trying to keep it out of the press so I prefer I prefer to be able doing a real good job Jeopardy yeah he's calling in the phone every minute Smith the cow's got a hold of it now that's right was just to have we're having a good time you know what was it the Johnson and Johnson were in the news they were all scrambling because uh the old man married that polish ma oh that was johnon and Johnson right and then all the kids said what he gave her what the original Johnson gave all his money to the Polish maid and then all of the kids of Johnson went and tried to get the money from the Polish mid right now I didn't read about him in the stor no the thing is no because you know why the woman that you married is the granddaughter right uh so her father she's not one of the original kids no no she's the granddaughter so her father had to go fight for the the money right uh something like that I'm not going to I don't want to go into it I me I got to live in Princeton and all the Johnson are in Princeton I leave here yeah well they must be thrilled that you're out of the family uh well didn't you feel weird being a black guy in that Whitey family you know what I mean not at all it was very very comfortable and they accepted you sure really yeah they didn't see you for the money grubber that you were you were just after her for her money let's face it oh please no no we I had I had no idea who she was and when you found your laugh in fact when I was in law school and uh yeah people would come and tell me that she was uh connected and I and she said no and I believed her there in fact there were two Barbara Johnson's at at my law school and everyone assumed I was dating the black one but but I wasn't I you said you said Friday that you went to school with no black women well I don't mean no obviously there are a few black women why couldn't you date the black if you saw the black Barbara Johnson uh she was a dog please oh all right well we got uh Sydney porier sitting here yeah right look at him Mr Handsome Mr like I've never seen a better looking guy than this Billy D Williams sitting here looking at us Billy D freckles we have actually we've got bozos gotta you got a bozo wig on you better die that afro black and be a real black man seen anything like that my God Almighty all right I tell you what I'm ready to play Black Black Jeopardy please all right we got to take a commercial break first remember my name is Felicia all right all right and uh of course we have Nia OJ simpleton and Bryant Dumbo and Bryant Dumbo now your five categories will be James Brown lyrics hit me black show bi business black gays stemman and black sports oh boy all right now remember when you know the answer you buzz in and remember to answer in question form like real Jeopardy you following that nicoa you got to say like what is yeah okay you know all right okay she's with us all right stemman these two are these two the bayum company down in uh Jamaica in Barbados but Barbados yeah I thought you had no money I said that's no I said that was my great-grandfather and I I had my my family has none of that money I'm just saying my great grandfather who was white his great grandfather was the rap uh yeah well I won't say he raped but anyway he you did he raped don't don't change your St that was a joke when we first got Dam about your jokes you just said us you were yeah what kind of joke is that Mr black man come on I know what I don't take look I don't get that Ser I don't get that upset about rape I consider it assault with intent to pleas of course because he's not the one being with intent to pleas how you know did you ever defend anybody hey white guy would you shut up who ask that's a good deal I'm just trying to put in my two cents all right if he can bring something on the A and say this is how a lady's legs goes when you're like that you need help that means his wife his wife wasn't given him any anyway Legend por howy you mean you and your wife didn't have sex you and the No No we oh of course we did but you had sex I'm yeah yeah I'm just saying I'm just saying it was a very formal lifestyle I was not allowed to answer the phone I was not allowed to answer the door if a GU a friend came to the door he would always be told that no one was there unless he had been expected uh the same thing with a phone call any Fred's life what are you talking about I'm looking for that kind of Life Legend Porsche Audi Saab Sterling why go there CU they're the best and there's no angry black people no as a matter of fact angry black people are allowed to go there under supervision of course Nia my Mercedes getting old I think I could use a Porsche so maybe I'll go over there any anyway of course the point is that for a limited time only you can lease a Saab 9,000 turbo for only 398 a month now Nia even you can afford that no I can't you can't she she rides a moped I saw her coming in and you know what you should stick to American Goods my friend because the people like you why the goddamn country is going down listen I'm not Jewish I I know people try to give my my Jewish friends like my my uh my agent easy Eddie Salon or the gentle Young gentle Steve plugging people left and right why you plugging people plug people left and right that's those are my agents he can't plug his wife he's plugging other people all right they give him a hard time about driving a Mercedes I mean that's that's ludicrous all right okay now all right all right the gentle gentle 398 a month over just 10% down you could lease a new Porsche 944 for only 449 a month or a new Audi 100 for only 200 95 a month now even Nia can afford 295 a month no no what do your husband do he's got to have some money he's a pimp we went over that last week yeah you should know since you hired him please come on I'm not is that true he did he go to be did he go to be and set set Lloyd up uh or actually OJ simpleton barever my husband does all right okay well anyway he's got to get a new job that's all I can tell I'm sure it's legal you see but you would like a rich black guy not necessarily like this but a rich black guy would be great who said I'm not married to one what a rich black guy yeah he just doesn't give any money how do you know that Robie you're saying you can't afford anything can't afford this you can't afford anything I guess she she really doesn't want us to know how rich she you don't you and your husband don't have an equal partnership in what he makes his is not yours I'm looking for a sucker like you then I'm telling you my wife says 50% everything is she she got more than you you get get 60 you get 40 she has more than I do smart woman woman oh come on your husband doesn't uh share with you equ he beats her she had some wels when she took when she took off her coat before she had a sweatshirt off she had W in her on Stein bren's brother speaking here all right now Legend Porsche Audi shab 158 mer Road in Amityville New York and Legend Volkswagen 5775 mer road to Massa New York these are the places to go yes all right you know it's ironic that Wayne seagull is Jewish and he doesn't have one black friend do you know that he told me that ironic ironic isn't it and here we are sitting in a room full of black people who have yeah he can't find one no he wanted to date a black girl but he's never seen one he can't find one much like our uh OJ simpleton now you two have been going at each other's throats for God knows how long you really have a hate for each other I I think it's safe to say that Nia hates OJ simpleton because after all here's a wealthy black man who could be doing something for black women by at least trying them and dating them but yet he rejects black women he rejects black women am I correct you reject you don't want you will not date a black woman thring at the mouth just speak up you will not date a black woman I'm just had never had the opportunity right that opportunity is hard to come by yeah I could walk cathol school and then I went went away to you know I school why don't you admit that you're just not attracted to black women that you find black women distasteful no they're they're maybe he just can't satisfy maybe I just haven't met the right one maybe that's what it is when you're not looking for them that's very hard so that's why you don't like his attitude am I correct listen last week I tried I try ask you to put me in the shower with Robin because of my fantasies you click cut me off the air oh pleas please you know and what what is it that you have so much free time you don't work as a lawyer is that it I'm in the midst of a of a difficult divorce trial right now and I'm I'm working on it with the so you PR La bar Olen Barbara Joy ol I got a team of four white women lawyers uh who who are who are working on it very no I'm not no I don't date my lawyers that would be very unpr professional so what is it you you are now hoping to get enough money that you'll never have to work it's an interesting battle yes she my wife meanwhile has a has a top CAD wallet of wickah Shaman ta but she's hiding behind Ray Brown she's using Ray Brown known as the top black lawyer in New Jersey maybe the country let's get on with the show all right let's get on with theame in the Press yeah he didn't want this in the Press he's mentioning everybody this is just a radio show I don't think that it'll it'll any you don't think pick this up okay all right so in other words you are I didn't tell you I work for newspaper did I all right our white guy's very annoying isn't he but he's here to prove a point he feels he can beat black people at Black Jeopardy this is the first time we've ever had a white contestant well he's very much like people who sit at home like Gary who watched the regular Jeopardy and say I'm better than the people who are on the show that's right you know listening to Black Jeopardy at home and playing Black Jeopardy is two different things who listens at home I listen at work get your hand out of my lap what are what you you like black men too huh you're taking Howard's lines all right here we go here we go stop taking his lines all right yeah he wrote down everything I say and he just reads it back he got 25 pages of everything you have ever said how I got important things to say when you quote Howard say quote and quote okay all right here we go the five categories are James Brown lyrics Black show bi business black gay stemman and black sports those are your five categories now remember remember that each time you pick a category I don't know who's starting off but you have to pick a dollar amount that's right as well as the category and in uh the first round of Jeopardy the dollar amount is $10 $20 $30 $40 and $50 and it doesn't seem to me that the questions get any harder or easier with the dollar has absolutely no bearing whatsoever as a matter of fact you might find that the $50 amounts are actually easier than the $10 amount okay so the contestants are Nia yeah Nola and Nola when you buzz in what are you going to I'm going to hit my tambourine all right can you hear it yes we can Bryant Dumbo and OJ simpleton all right there we go now we'll see who wins who really knows the most about being black I don't know all right because we have a woman playing today Nia I'm going to allow hard to choose the first category it's time to play Black Jeopardy now we have an announcer we got I I do a colle radio show you are the contestant my white friend all right I'm glad to be your friend Howard thank you now Nia here we go um I like black sports see nicoa is a a very proud yeah you know she's like a Jamaican proud black woman you you shouldn't be all the no no no I'm just saying I think you feel Superior also to a lot of these black Americans I don't I do not African don't you ever say that cuz a lot of the Jamaicans are not even good housekeepers I would never hire I had to fire when I had a Jamaican housekeeper with an black servs you listen to me I tried out a few Jama listen to me young man you're you're very proud you don't just because we come here and and we do housework there's nothing wrong with that we the ones ra be right let me see your green card we're the ones who raise your kids to and there's a lot of us out there who don't do housework no no that's what I'm saying when you do the hous sometimes you you kind of think it's demeaning who says does that does does because you're very because in Jamaica you guys are like you know nurses and stuff and then you know oh you've been there lately and then oh I will never go to Jamaica I hate Jamaica Why didn't it Blow Away yeah no it did not blow away hurricane it kind of blew up the map or something no actually we got everything that you guys wanted and couldn't have have why are you so upset I think a coconut must have hit you on the head during that hurricane you're getting so upset all I'm saying is that I will never go to Jamaica because Jamaicans in Jamaica don't like white people that's not true because we have white people who are Jamaicans also because a lot cuz a lot of guys go play golf to get their legs chopped off on the golf course you know a come on you can't deny a lot of bad things didn't happen to white people in Jamaica let me tell you don't bad things happen to white people here oh yes okay then and you live here don't you too many Jamaicans here that's the no the Jamaicans are very lovely people don't get me no Jamaicans are very lovely people don't get me wrong you get mugged at home why go some place elsewh exactly I don't need to go on vacation to get mugged that's all I'm saying see she always laughs did everything you say Robin and when I say something she gives me a dirty look what is that you're saying the wrong thing I'm saying the wrong thing now the Jamaicans are very um they have an attitude problem I took a white woman down there on vacation I got nothing but dirty looks the whole time how long how long ago a few months ago last last fall oh boy this guy is too much I mean I was hassled the whole time you've been you've been married for 11 years you're going through a divorce and you took a white woman down in Jamaica your wife's got grounds right there to leave you what happened you took a white woman down in Jamaica and what you got a lot of bad looks from the natives one of my clients is one of the one of the original Whalers who's now off on his own Ross Carby and I went down there with him to arrange some dates um well look I don't need to prove it prove myself to you at all but I went down there you took one of your white women down there yes but I was going down on business your white wife or no no no this is after separ the white girlfriend right after we were separated went down there and immediately found himself a white girlfriend yeah well no black girlfriends are around well would you smoke a joint the size of a Whipple ball bat before you came in here one of those Jamaican Whipple ball bat joints no what are you out of your mind you Lon I'm a lawyer I do not do any drugs I'm not all right let's play Black Jeopardy just get to the back you need a dollar amount no you miss my point about Jamaicans though all I'm saying is is that Jamaicans you know come to this country I think they kind of look down on blacks no from America I I'll be honest with you Howard some of them do yeah you don't but a lot do are your papers in order I wouldn't say you won't be defending me I can't guarantee you oh you're an American citizen though now yes I am I use the insanity defense I get you off the insanity defense all right here we go you can't get your wife all he has to say is she hired me for a lawyer and then time I would prove that she was insane just by showing that for three years in a row she watched Different Strokes every Thursday night at 8 o'clock no did you're driving me more insane than I already am can we get home with this game if you didn't drive this white guy insane what about us blacks we're probably jumping off the nearest bridge because you're you make black people love me oh I know plenty of black they won't date you RAC they won't date you but they love you right all right here we go this white guy's got a problem only dating black women no I didn't say only date black women I've said that I've dated black women I love all it's time to play Black Jeopardy all right got to drown these three out all right now it's time to play and you say you like the category black sports Nico all right for how much would you like how much money give me 40 bucks 40 bucks okay very good we're now going to play black sports for $40 Rob all right what is the question now remember you got to buzz in when you have the answer an answer in question form okay this Olympic medalist was arrested for soliciting a prostitute in Washington DC uhoh we have um OJ simpleton uh who is Edwin Moses well that is correct for $4 on the you're the first to score OJ that's right OJ simpleton well certainly our white friend who thought it was so easy at home is not happened OJ simpleton does know something he closer to Washington DC than I do I don't go near Washington DC that's this looks like Africa with monuments listen to this guy okay how about about black gays for $50 black gay you should be good at that huh yeah I'll tell you right now I'm not going to get this one right oh yeah you're too much of a man he wouldn't answer it if he knew yeah right no I'll answer it if I know all right black gays for how much 505050 all right although this piano pounder played Long Tall Sally he'd rather play chug the pickle with Long Tall s and we go to of course Brian dumb who is Little Richard well that is correct Little Richard I originally thought who was OJ simpleton but I said not he's not a piano player now let me say to you uh Felicia yes yes that when a a person when one of the contestants buzzes in you stop reading the question well you know on the new Jeopardy they read the whole question even though they if he misses then you read it for the other two contestants all right okay well I knew the answer you know just after I need to the whole well it's your turn for now on wait can I clarify for now on once hey you're a contestant you shut up I just want a rules clarification you see what I mean about him you should have read the rules out in the hall yeah once once someone buzzes in you're going to stop reading the question you're going to that's what you want all right you're going to stop Dum just so I know cuz you can always finish the question after the how many uh I'm just trying to get through the game how many points was that last question that was 50 point question that was 10 dumo 50 points that was 50 Briant Dumbo go ahead let's go to a blackbi business for uh 30 all right black bi business interesting that everyone's inv voting the James Brown category got falling on hard times here we go when this Superstar singer was caught in bed with an ugly white woman wait a second I see that of course Nia has both know Richie oh you got to phrase it as a question sheas it did note Richie all right before the buzzer that was before the buzzer before the buzzer points that was that was 30 Howard Howard that was 30 so unfair to the brother was it 30 30 points yeah unfair everybody on her all right now remember you have to answer in question for him go ahead Nia okay I'll take James Brown very how much uh he's only worth 10 right now only worth 10 I got no no hope in this category of course you don't have any hope cuz it's a black brother you don't know much about him this crazy accents what who talks like that well ni he is married to a white man I mean a white man now what about James Brown being married to a white woman what's that all about is he confused as well yeah he is I I agreed with you he you know he should stay in jail for a couple of times couple of years that's right all right I'm going to play a James Brown song now try to interpret the lyrics try to understand what James is saying and then buzz in remember to answer in question for know in here we go listen to the whole statement I was listen carefully that's right [Music] about all right there you go and I see OJ simpleton is buzzed in what is think about the sacrifices that I make for you very good that is correct that is correct think about the sacrifices I made for you close enough the judges accepted and that is 50 points that was 10 has was points I'll stay with James Brown lyrics for 30 30 point you like that category I got it I don't he's a jazz musician you know all right um for 30 points then listen carefully to these James Brown lyrics see if you can interpret them be sure to listen to the entire lyric look at the caller she thinks she's going to win this oh she's listening intently I never saw anything like all of a sudden she came around she liked this game all right pass people pass Hitman what is OJ simpleton yes what is K Passa wait you you I think his time expired I think what sorry all right let's go over to Bryant Dumbo what is K Pasa people K Pasa people the Spanish word that's wrong too well you didn't get the answer right so shut up call it you want to try that one smart woman because now you're probably ahead they lose 30 points a piece it Wasa people k h but you threw me off when you started to talk Whata peoplea peoplea hit me but I was going to say it right away and you started to talk to me well you should have said it yeah look I was 30 blame me for that nias got 60 I got 20 and uh you're not the scorekeeper Nia has 30 she only got one right well she just got this one no she didn't didn't oh she didn't answer Robin why don't we take a break and come back and we'll keep a score hey white guy hey white guy just calm down the coolest I'm calm I'm calm what is the score Robin what does OJ simpleton havea has 30 points yes Bryant Dumbo has 20 yes as does OJ simpleton so Nia is leading when we come back for long Double Jeopardy right after these words I feel bad for Nicole it's very bright and ENT black woman and yet she can't buy cars she can't lease cars she has no money well there must be a problem in this country when bright intelligent people can't do that you know what it's yeah but she and Brian here seem to be hitting it off I think she's going to leave her husband I can assure you no I don't believe in interracial couples you really don't but she just oh please but you're almost white I mean you're very light skinned you're very light skinned okay you must have some interracial your you certainly have white you must have some white BL there no people walking around Africa looking like you you want to bet I've been there Buster I've been there too we are Weir I maybe maybe North Africa huh where in North Africa have you been to where I've been in Egypt I've been in Sierra Leon I've been in that's not real shut up white guy you're ruining this that's part of Africa you look at the map lately no I know it's part of Africa but it's not like the troubled Afric White Guy Can't you stop budding in when I'm letting them talk all right I went down to the rumble and zire uh white guy you're only allowed to talk when I point to you get it got it capish Kish all right Goomba right ah defo speak defo speaking of goombas yeah ah what is Goomba good friend yeah it's like uh your pal right do I have that right well it's also like you know let's say uh The Godfather God point to you did I point don't give us the derivation of the word to say yes I point you yes I have an Italian friend who always calls me mulon does that mean brother that means eggplant Howard how do what do you have to say about a fa now mulon is a m is a is a derogatory term about black people I thought he liked me maybe he does def fail did I point to you white guy you know how up those white people are they never take Direction never and they say we are the ones who can't be controlled anyway you know defo Auto leing they're real Pros they really know I feel bad that here you are from Jamaica how long have you lived in the country 15 years 15 years and you still can't afford a car you know what to fail maybe she could afford a car she really doesn't have a car no I don't need one she has no money why do I need a car in living in New York City you have an apartment though right yes I do you're able to afford that yes do you go in the Subways sure oh my God and why shouldn't I I don't know I don't go down there I don't know what it's like but I see it in the newspapers all the time there's fires there was was a special on TV the other day about how terrible the Subways are I you know why because schizophrenics like you're on it you're never alone all rightest people in the uh Subway track you're saying that our friend over there pushes people in the subway track you are he does okay right all right I retired at 25 and I got the problems def oh you're how old are you 25 no I at 25 I'm 30 and you retired at 25 well because you married a white woman that's when you retired that's that's ACC I no no I'm just saying i' I represent plenty of people in art in the Arts music us athletes so it's uh not that at all but I'm just saying that uh for her to to to point the finger whenever you point a finger you're pointing three at yourself remember that all right defo auto leasing they're real pros courteous service complete knowledge of all makes is your husband from another country too maybe that's the problem yes he is see if you were born here maybe you would have a better opportunity no what country is he from I I'm not listening to you I'm listening to Howard what did you say Howard I said what country is he from you didn't say that somebody said it anyway defo is so good they have a huge selection their reputation is 35 years in the business if you're going to lease a car would you do it with def fail for God's sakes please I'm if I tell you to do it then do it do they lease trucks as a matter of fact they do they have everything you'd want why you thinking of getting a truck yeah I need a truck oh you have enough money for that yeah I have enough money oh you do so you do have money yeah a Tonka truck this month only the new BMW 325 Coupe at 299 a month for 60 months $299 a month that's ridiculous and you're driving a BMW 2011 432-5100 2011 432-5100 we're playing Black Jeopardy we have two black people playing and a white person well it's questionable thank you Robin yes we have uh we have uh our black gentleman on the right who uh we're not sure what he is I me people are being hard me you have to understand as a person of mixed blood maybe I almost feel like I don't fit in with the white race with the black race I'm being hit from all sides how about a little sympy you're going through you married a rich white woman right and you've been dating white women when when did you get your first white woman um at 16 at 16 said he never dated a black woman right he got his first white woman at 16 right and you've never dated a black woman you you never even sampled your own race I actually flunked out of high school and uh when I started a new no don't give me jokes I don't want jokes I actually did Funk out of high school and when I went to the new high school this one teacher sort of took me under his wing and cared for me and sent me to the National Conference of Christians and Jews for sensitivity sessions and that's where I met my first white girl from Jewish Jewish girl from Long Island Jewish girl from Long Island and you had her and you had sex with her well I don't want to say that and you were hooked on white women well I'm not I don't think of it as being not even curious to try black women at all well maybe now after my divorce is finished that's a possibility you know maybe you could hook me up on a dial date or something I don't know okay so there he is OJ simpleton everybody get to know now our second contestant is a white man who feels he can beat blacks at their own game and yet I see that he's in tied for second place with OJ simpleton yes Bryant Dumbo Bryant Dumbo you uh come from where where do you help from I'm waiting for you to point that all right where do you come from white stone Queens Whit Stone Queens Brian Dumbo and over here is Nia from Jamaica a very proud Jamaican woman and this sort of represents I think people now see the Jamaican attitude if I may say so the Jamaicans are so proud Surly and uh very proud that they they somehow convey almost a sense of superior yeah they have a superior attitude and putting down her own black brother because he dates white women poor black misguided black brother yes our poor misguided yet feeling no compassion for him yet but uh and also not recognizing that it is dangerous for white people in Jamaica it really is it's not dangerous there are a lot of hostile Jamaicans I'll I'll fly you down there and you'll see something no that's not I will never go to Jamaica that is a plot Howard do not fall for I am not going down there ever as you know for years a lot of white people stopped going to Jamaica only because there was so many time you just walk on the beach situation they tell you stay near the hotel stick near the hotel no it's not like that anymore no more you're saying that the black you can go into town now you can go into town you can go anywhere you can go anywhere you feel like em bring your white wife over here no we don't say bring your white wife we just said bring your wife bring your wife over here yeah well you got to be careful never bring never go into town never go into town and you know that as well as I do now why did you leave beautiful Jamaica to come yeah because even you couldn't stand it there no I I enjoyed it but um I've my parents thought we' have a better opportunity here and they brought and they were wrong no they were right all right they were very right think you're putting down the country that gave you everything you have why you jackass hey don't curse please we you degenerated into cursing last week you had to you had to be bleeded off I have I haven't insulted you at all yes you have you told me to go sit on the watermelon that was last week I'm saying this week I decided no not to insult you at oh great personal nature okay you know oh terrific okay well then could you leave now yeah you guys leave cuz quite frankly no I'm still I likeed your better last week no I'm still taking her on but I'm saying joks like saying that she could squat on a watermelon and spit the seeds out one by one I see so you're saying that you can't do that all right I'm not sure all right it's time to play Black Jeopardy before he puts his foot in his mou all right here we go we've changed the categories it's time for double jeopardy now Rob now dollar mons double is that not true Robin is saying that um she has a question about oh one of the last question the James Brown question yes you're saying that James was not saying K possible let me hear pass people pass Hitman yeah can't pass no no no no he's saying can't pass the peas but can't pass the Hitman can't pass the peas yes come on play it again hold it a second who's saying that you people on the phones and me let me listen hit no I think it's K it is K I know that because it's supposed to be what's happening people what's happening people K Pasa oh I'm glad you understand no no no I'm sure of that all right well the controversy's cleared up then damn right it is okay but that's the great thing about James Brown lyrics you never really know that was camp but you sure you played and you know what's great you might even be right but the judges say k pass the people k what's happening people cuz why would James say p the peas people but you never know he could be saying I don't understand why he's trying to speak Spanish when he can't speak English that's right tackle one language at a time well he's saying that now County Jeff pass the piece pass the piece yes he's looking in the did I point my finger at you white guy no all right here we go it's time to play Double Black Jeopardy notice our categories have changed to Black spelling stiff black and dead interracial couples African names po Peri and don't forget you can hit a audio Daily Double all right and you didn't hit any last time but that doesn't mean this time you won't there two audio daily doues as a matter of fact and the money categories are 20 40 60 80 and $100 let's go to OJ simpleton to pick the category since he's tied for last place well let's go to my favorite uh category interracial couples for 60 all right interracial couples because you only date white women this did you say 60 60 all [Laughter] right this fat pig actress who was Lacy had a who is Ty D that is correct that is correct continue to choose OJ simpleton interracial couples for 80 well this is your cat Peggy Lipton from Mod Squad used to be married to this who is Quincy Jones that is correct I'm going to run this category OJ simpleton going uh interal couple for 100 that's an audio Daily Double yeah an audio Daily Double let me decide how much I want to wage W you have 160 points oh don't forget don't forget this might not necessarily be about interracial Coupes that's oh I see it can be any category any category oh well in that case I'll limit it to I'll bet it all what you got to lose you're other than your wife you lost her already yeah but he brought his sister don't forget you he agreed to bring a sister I get a sister all right let's go I I agree to anything waing 50 50 all right identify the following black now remember he can only play this one here we go is love does it fall from Sky what what what is this is it under that willow tree you don't know who that is all right now we can only go to OJ simpleton I don't know who's Gary Coleman oh so close unfortunately the answer is who is Emanuel Lewis oh please well you knew the height was about right even though you lose 50 points you still have control of the board you still have control of the board that is correct all right well inter interracial couples for 40 interracial couples for 40 okay this no Talent host of American Top 40 I heard uh our white friend Brian dumb Dumbo yes y who is Shadow Stevens that is correct all right that was how much 40 right yes have 60 thank you Robin hey Robin you ever return the movies to magic video or future video come on you dummy he wants to look your to you know anybody who's got some information they always like to bring that up thank you very much all right Briant dum let's go okay let's go to to to the category that is unlike our black friend here stiff black and dead stiff black and dead dead cuz he's not black he's not dead and if he was stiff his wife wouldn't be leaving him all right and how much are you playing for here um let's go for uh 40 all right for 40 stiff black and dead after almost raping a white woman this soul singer took a chest full of and that let's go over to OJ simpleton um who is Sam Cook that is correct wow we have some very stiff competition here you know for a guy who only dates white women you seem to know a lot about black history I hear the rest of that question don't forget no you don't no chest full of slugs in an LA motel in 1964 he almost raped a white woman I guess so who wrote this question Fred good question yeah if Fred wrote it's got to be true because I just never heard that he knew about Jasmine Guy lesbian scene all right here we go okay how about black spelling for for 20 let me just to get an idea with the category 20 all right I can't fig with for 20 black spelling spell the name Al be sure all right I see our white friend Briant Dumbo okay that what is a l b period s u r e that is wrong all right anybody else want to buzz in all right OJ simpleton what is Al B period s u r e exclamation point that is right the exclamation point must be there because that's the legal spelling of I'll be sure so was that for 40 yes it was no I think it was for 20 that was for 20 that was for 20 okay how about what uh black spelling for 60 all right spell Adidas what is a d d s well there is OJ simpleton again racking up a tremendous amount of points that was for 40 yeah yep black spelling for 60 all right spell Terrence Trent Derby oh wow OJ simplon again what is t r n c e t r n t d a r b y sorry that's so close but I'm so sorry let's go to our annoying white friend Brian Dumbo okay what is t e a n c e t e r n t d Apostrophe a r b y oh I'm so sorry I am so sorry well anybody else want to try Nia all right well is a de apostrophe de apostrophe is what you got wrong and you spelled Terrence wrong you spell the TA a I said t e you said t e a t e a said no you said AA you said a listen back to the tape you said it wrong Brian Dumbo I'm so sorry I spelled it right that I see we have to take a break when we come back it might be time for final jeopardy will it not Robin so what are the scores just so people know gee well Nia who didn't really get to play much in this round still has her 30 points well that's okay she can play Bryant Dumba was doing well and now he has 20 uh-oh uhoh and OJ simpleton with 110 intercial couple questions but you know you're not set until you do Final Jeopardy that's you never know what's going to happen in Final Jeopardy write down the amount you want to bid while we're in commercial and we'll be back right after this I'm in here of course with our three contestants and you got a hand it to OJ simpleton he might be an Oreo but he certainly knows a lot about a black history certainly interracial couples are there though a lucky category yeah yeah I mean the white guy was in here complaining that uh OJ simpleton's getting too much time to answer the questions he's pretty quick I'm sorry he is quick I said I'd give him that he did I point a finger at you to tell you to talk he's too quick he's too quick well I'm sure your opinion has changed of him now not really it's still the same he's an idiot he's an idiot yeah he might know his black history but he's an idiot yeah I'll bring you out to my estate and we can your wife's how I'm sorry for not putting me it's your wife's estate I know I don't want to see your horses I'm sorry probably look like the back end of one oh okay we're going to get we're going to uhoh if we're going to get serious again now he's got to go to his list of right no I'm not I'm not resorting uh oh look who's here Gilbert Godfrey he G came back for this Gilbert what you y but you just wanted to see what was going on or what yes Whenever there are Negroes are around I have to show remember there negro around these negro yeah that's a Jamaican she'll hurt you that's a Jamaican she'll kill you forr I'm sorry they're bringing in a chair all right you did call dial how long did it take him to deliver under 2 hours really mhm now I haven't paid you to say that have I no sir that is have he has you before no I've never met Howard although we have we had dinner at a restaurant at the same time but uh I did not eat him is that right yes sir did he eat meat I have no idea we're talking about dial matches I'm not talking about what he ate why are you asking that never eat anything with a face I'm not a vegetarian though I'm really not no I mean I eat some chicken and stuff well I'm a vegetarian I never eat anything with a face who ask you who ask you shut up right come on Sapphire Co coola hey hey were those Jamaicans that delivered the mattress uh no they why why you have to be picking on Jamaicans I'm just kidding of course no they weren't Howard with you and Jamaicans I like Jamaicans I really you know what it is I've had a couple of bad experiences with them and their attitude but you I like they all have a chip on their shoulder I I had a Jamaican woman working for me once and I chip your teeth oh well that shut him up I'll tell you that I'll tell you that anyway what was that nothing I'm I'm I'm trying to maintain a certain calmness because I may I I vowed that I wasn't going to let her affect me cause control how I think or act or react I decided not to attack her today but uh I'm almost out of words and you know why's friend here in person that's right she she's here in person Nico's friend is here he's shaking in his boots yeah yeah oh nothing's going to happen of a physical nature bet obviously no it will happen my friend it will not on my part no because you're a you're a scared wimp you're a wuss like I like I have any need to to hit anybody right right well you really don't like him do you no you what are you going to beat him silly so he'll uh like like black women of course oh you would oh she figures if you hit that one place in the brain she's got more chins than the Hong Kong phone book you should go you should know she's so fat she has to grease the tub to turn over you know something I feel like no no no don't hit any please please that's not right you're the one attacking me please you know anyway so dial 212 boy if a fight breaks I thank God I'm here yeah Gilbert you'll take care of it yeah dial 212 516 201123 and 914 m a t t s mattress yeah because uh our friend Brian Dumbo dialed dial a mattress 718 I dial you know something a lot of uh our contestants don't know what prizes they'll be winning on Black Jeopardy that's all they came in for you know that's all that black guy came for the price I did not a whole bag of gifts for everybody don't take them why are you in the habit of buying everyone no I think I think it's a nice you people have entertaining he's saving money in the cheap suits that he buy yeah and he calls himself a lawyer anyway the uh you people have entertained me for years it's my first time I'm invited to the studio I think it's nice stop listening to J listen I want to Common Sense yes um my friend Mark Pali manages a band called common sense and they're playing March 13th oh no Monday 9:30 at The Bitter End all right she wanted to give a plug I don't think there's anything that is there no yeah I over there Gilbert Godfrey Tuesday and Wednesday Carolines I mean I could C that you have free tickets any passes I'm sorry I mentioned it I am not only looking for work with the top Law Firm but my gave you my agent easy Eddie agent and gentle yle Steve CL you can call him 609 8964 all right I'm sorry we got started yes I'm sorry all right let me get if anybody needs flow is delivered I've got two artists that I'm representing let me have the Final Jeopardy question guy's mouth already take his notes away herey Howard here's his notes take his notes for out loud gentle yent now let's see how much she speaks I bet you'll be give me the Leslie Holzman super surrealistic uh super realistic quiet you need a friend of mine called Vinny Chini to kick your butt remember I'm is everybody ready hey Danny what's the topic Felicia Felicia what's the topic I didn't you all right here we go uh Janet boy these blacks the white guys pretty annoying too don't you say these Africans right Africans Africans aferican you're Jamaican so you're you're for the new I am still an African you're an African Jamaican I'm I'm a afro West Indian do you write anybody there but you you're a US citizen now though yes do you write anybody in Africa of course you do yes you have relatives there I have plenty of relatives there yeah oh you want to bet what do you think my last name is you jerk what is it you jerk is your Jer is your last name my last name is ug lari ugari you made that up we're related I saw you we're related I saw you you're related to Gilbert godf there it is my mother's maen look I'm a lawyer I can have it changed for you want Smith Jones anything you want yeah change everything you have all right I am going to play a song now for final Black Jeopardy everyone has their amounts written in oh they they took my pad over what was your question you know there's a whole big movement now to change the name of blacks of course afroamerican now isn't that ridiculous I like colored I like colored because they're we're colored stop being stupid you want to go back to colored what kind of black man are you okay s then you know we're about to all beat you up I like the term them what was that I like the term them them them that's a good one them Amer and them them americ no black makes no sense because black people are not this color black people are whole rainbow this color we on the radio pointing to something ands he's holding up that instrument he's playing theor gag on radio this that's Gilbert God don't pay him anything he'll be in cin Tuesday and Wednesday Princeton March AF Afro Americans Afro Americans I made a big mistake on fed when I said afro if it's afro and I shouldn't have said that I need to be corrected and it's afroamerican well that's a good question where's your afro if AF afroamerican come on you don't need an afro to be an African afro Americans was something popular in the 60s come on when afros were popular it should be flat top Americans now because Flatt tops are black cutting their hair real flat hey hey don't throw anything don't throw anything come on come on you know I feel like I'm at the titon Bruno fight no don't throw things if you're going to do that you got to leave you can't do that you can't do that why not call him top Americans you you allow this guy to say things like that it's America that's what happens here see in Jamaica they stop you from saying stuff and maybe they should they're right to some degree because when you have jerks like that saying things like You're flat in his mouth yeah but look you're his lip a little bit thicker yeah but you AF Americans make no sense it's just based on a hairstyle oh Afro Americans is based on a hairstyle you didn't you didn't call it processed Americans in the ' 50s you don't call it Flatt top Americans now all right you're being ridiculous and so are you because you if you enjoy this country you don't want people uh being shut up do you when they're talking like how he is yeah it makes perfect sense but I don't understand how you're an afroamerican you're a Jamaican American but I see you're all African exactly all right okay well let's get right down to final Jeffers before these two kill each other and gilbertt behave yourself oh yeah stop inting I'm goingon to start throwing punches any minute now all right now what we're going to do is make sure that you write down your final Jeopardy in now Nia take it easy will you you're too you're too excited she's starting to cry I think no why should I cry I you look a little teary eyed no I just turn red every now and now some of the prizes you'll be winning let's turn let's go over to a kingfish for the prizes Kingfish am it safe in here yes well let me f the pr for you of course on the pride L this morning it be lip plate dishwashing detergent lip plate lip plate washing deter washing detergent some nosebone cleanser some gold tooth polish a brand new CD big meat markam sing to Temptations some rubber gloves to wear so not to leave fingerprints on your neighbor's door handles while lifting his TV Set a science fiction book famous black French cooks and of course the Oprah Winfree cookie jar for Oreos only and of course not forgetting this one a rubber squeegee and a bucket of dirty water and of course the Lee press on lips back to you Felicia a Alan bishard all right thank you Kingfish and of course we're playing Black Jeopardy we're back with our three great contestants OJ simpleton Bryant Dumbo and Nia I could use those press on lips all right here we go now here is your final Jeopardy question you wrote down the amount okay yeah I'm going to play this song tell me who the artist is and remember to answer in question form a musical Final Jeopardy question 923 krock WP wjfk thank seen my old friend Abraham [Music] you tell me where he's he's a k night pulling y you got to write down your answer is that it that is it all right let's give him some thinking music Black Jeopardy is so much fun and everybody loves to play even if they don't get along we see that OJ simpleton is winning the game but anything could happen on the final Jey R because Brian Dumbo looks like he's got the answer figured out all right yes yes yes yes no help from the audience yes all right well let's go to the uh person with the lowest score which happens to be Brian dumbell Brian first of all how much money did you bid I bet zero Howard oh smart move because you do have 20 points and what was your answer my answer is who is I really don't know all right so you got anything all right let's go over to Nia our Jamaican friend I mean our African friend I don't know where she's from I'm confused quite frankly how much did you bid first of all I bet my 30 you bet 30 and what is your answer I said Johnny Osborne well of course you didn't answer in question form but even still joh OD that is wrong I'm so sorry oh she loses all 30 and finally let's go over to our leader so far OJ simpleton who uh married into that Johnson and Johnson family married a white woman and became a multi-millionaire from doing that multi-millionaire uh well we're in the courts right now don't ask him those questions you know what the history of his family we're in the process of a divorce right now and I I'm sure my lawyer Barbara Jorge Olen would prefer for me and what's her phone number but you're looking for some money we could safely say that uh yeah well I don't I I will do I will do okay all right do okay I there's a career for you marrying rich white women yeah married one woman we we were in love we met in law school I mean I don't know you thought you were in love for 11 years we we were in love things fell have many no no unfortunately we didn't than God for that fortunately you didn't how much money did you bid I bet $10 and what is your answer my uh who is famous anus famous anus I mean Amos Amos okay well unfortunately you all got it wrong do you know who it is Robin it's Rosie GRE Roosevelt [Music] GRE what was they talking about originally to get back to the main point we were talking about the tapes of Rob low that we don't have to play today oh right yeah so this is so annoying that I don't have these Rob low tapes I'm telling you they make one little video right it circulates through Atlanta makes it through all the clubs everyone's got copies of it of everybody in Atlanta has it yes we have four hours of roblo that aired on a big radio station and I can't come up with squat I don't have a tape anybody got a tape of the Rob low show that we did it was supposed to be like one of our best shows and Rob low is really getting nutty yeah he started off being kind of you know laidback and then he really got into questioning these girls and finding out what they do for him yeah well that's that's the way I remember it it would really be perfect well listen to this a videotape roblo allegedly made in Atlanta I thought it was interesting that it was during the Democratic National Convention you know cuz we were wondering why is he hanging around with the dakus why is he you know trying to be political evidently get a lot of trim off that I guess so but he can get a lot of trim being anywhere but I guess there's a lot of action around that convention you know a lot more than normal lot of young stuff so anyway uh the district attorney down there is looking into this apparently the film as you said the 30 minute videotape has been circulating around the clubs and night spots in Atlanta for months one of two men clearly resembles Rob low at one point the low light character even points his dimpled face directly into the camera gives a knowing Sly smile and blows a kiss you got that a m correct he did the same thing the tape is the focus of a lawsuit filed against Low by the mother of a 16-year-old girl who claims he's seduced and sexually corrupted her daughter during the Democratic National Convention according to the suit low picked up the teenager in a bar and took her to his hotel room where they hooked up with a 22-year-old woman and another man oo what a sex scene that is huh according to Atlanta based reporters the vulgar video has been floating around local night spots since last summer portions of the tape have already been shown on Atlanta news programs boy Atlanta must have some cool news I'm telling you the suit finally forced it into the headlines you know it is kind of wacky though if I could say something here a 16-year-old girl is in a bar and he corrupted her you know hey the hell is she doing in a bar in the first place he' probably assume that she's of age if she's in a bar correct yes that would be correct I would assume so if she was in a bar possibly drinking I would think she was old enough I mean what are you supposed to do ID a person I guess so I guess that's what you have to do when you're famous unless on the tape she starts going I'm 16 years old and uh you know I mean I'm sure she didn't make a point of how old she was well the da wants to interview low about the tape but he's in France right now where Jerry lewi is a genius we might add as I said before Cindy says there may even be a warrant already out for his arrest it's a full 30 minute tape that includes a scene in which two women engage in sexual acts under Lowe's Direction now he want to get into directing he told he was just practicing dirting yes he told us he want to get directing I didn't understand it was this stuff they say the tape is definitely x-rated and that uh a handsome young man is seen engaged in three-way sex acts with a another man and a tall voluptuous brunette oh yeah he goes for guys well I'm just telling you what I read how yes and then he says something like is it hot in here or is it just me as he and the female recline on the bed nude smoking cigarettes the acts they engage in before that interlude are steamy to say the least really yeah so uh could anybody get us the whole 30 minutes yeah I'd like to get a copy of that if that tape's going around in Atlanta can't someone get it for us can't we call someone don't we know anybody in Atlanta my brother-in-law but he he wouldn't have the taste nah well anyway that's what's going on with Robin as I said he's supposed to get back according to Cindy and you know how much she knows she says he's due back in the United States tomorrow and that he could possibly be arrested as soon as he lands but hey look what happened to Roman palansky same deal yeah but he knew you know this might be a case where he could claim he didn't know but remember um what's the guy from the Eagles Don Henley yeah he claims he didn't know either but didn't he get into some trouble for that I thought he I thought he claimed that it wasn't even him who was having sex with a girl it was some girl in his house having sex with another guy wasn't that it well he claims yeah all he did was find the girl sick in his bathroom right but he was supposed to be responsible I think he I know I think he got off okay he was angry because didn't wasn't he angry cuz the Press made a big deal out of it and it wasn't even true Joe was told the story that these guys show up to the party with these young girls and then one of them got sick so when they called the ambulance the cops came and everybody left the party and Don Henley was the only one left at home yeah it's hard though to take Joe Walsh as a character witness you know what I mean it's just he man man some girls showed up and then she threw I how did she why was she throwing up and why was she at the part you know but but that incident is a reason why Don Henley wrote Dirty Laundry he said the I know don't go through that I'm just saying please we just wanted to know if he got into trouble he never did still never got the answer thank you although the girls who love Rob blow are defending him already Jackie the news in turn yeah oh I could wait to tell her because she just thinks he's so dreamy and then she said that no way it could have been him she goes you wouldn't think he'd really be into that would you Robin Jackie Martling said there's no way that he's you know crazy enough to do this I said there is know that guy there's no way he isn't crazy there's no way a young guy like that isn't going to but you got see you see you start to lose perspective you got to look out for stuff like that when you rob low that's right because they will nail you I mean you know everyone can say ah they're not going to do anything to Rob low but hey there's a system of justice in this country and they will apply it to him and you know it could even be that this woman wouldn't have even thought about doing something like this unless it was Rob somebody she could really get a lot of money out of yeah so you got to think about these things Carri and that's not what I said what I said was not Rob would be too stupid to be with a young girl or some I can't see a guy of his star him letting them videotape him he must be out of his mind that's weird that's weird if I mean unless they did it secretively but if he mugged for the camera and everything he's got to be crazy you know what that is kind of he's right that is kind of weird and it says in the article that the guy mugs for the camera yes it does yeah it do yes it does I just said that he he would do that I mean I'm not saying that it's ham yeah we know him he's goofy he would do that cuz you know you have a couple of drinks and you're goofing around and you don't know and you never really think that it's going to end up as ntion on there yeah but if you're you're going to erase the tape even before you leave the room yeah but if you're Rob low you know that you know even I know as Howard Stern I'm no Rob low but I'm thinking all the time about what people are going to do like I go to weddings in bar mitzvah and stuff and I have the guy you know I I make him cover the camera I only want to be on that cuz some idiot's going to be walking around with it yeah but that's you you're not Rob love thanks a lot Robin thanks for bursting my little bubble here everyone's going Hey Howard you're not Rob shut I'm trying to convince myself that maybe I'm On a par all right no saying you're not that you're very responsible person you're always thinking about these things exactly Robin he has people who are supposed to think about those things for him remember when he was here even there were people outside in the hall saying Rob Rob what are you doing don't talk like that yeah cuz he was really getting into it so I have a great Rob ler I'm just not sure I could tell it on sure you can well after this I guess we can tell anything I know a girl whose roommate claims that she brought brought him home one night yeah and to prove it she's got I swear she's got like six photographs of robbing his underwear like laying around her apartment you so bring him in I should cuz I've seen him and they're pretty funny he wears briefs you know he wears briefs Jockey briefs yeah which I always pictured him God is your voice annoying I'm sorry he wears brief you know you know he wears briefs you know don't go to clubs and yell idiot you're being an idiot I you know I really I don't mean to call you dumb but sometimes you do dumb stuff your voice is really annoying like that and it's all flamy there's no FL in it it's just something I don't know man just real Annoying so anyway that's Rob blow's troubles and why would he leave a copy of a tape laying around like that I mean there's just no way you could be that stupid you know how sometimes you go out partying no I don't oh you don't see that's what I'm saying I can't explain it no but but in all seriousness there's just no way if you're Rob low you use your head I mean a little bit he should know at this point like Roman palinsky should have used his head and all no no no no no no it's I mean a videotape I mean there's evidence but why would a Robert Chambers make like remember that video tape that he made that was real damaging to him but he's a [ __ ] I mean he's just a [ __ ] this is a guy with a career right this is Rob low with a career yeah but he did that snow white thing at the Academy Award well there you go there shouldn't have been any cameras in the room when that happened I'd be more embarrassed by that tape that's right all right anyway we got to take another oh no we don't do we have to take oh Jesus do we have to take another break we could there's a guy I'm taking advice from did that come out over the air yes I heard it was trying to hear it on delay uh