Browse Transcripts

Category: News & Politics

So because we've done two debates and because they were successful there will be no third debate as everyone saw two nights ago we had a monumental victory over comrade camala harris in the presidential dep in a significant development ahead of the november 5th election republican presidential candidate... Read more

Category: Comedy

Please welcome sasheer zamata. [applause] n/a n/a n/a sasheer. - jordan. oh my gosh. - oh my gosh. - oh my gosh. oh my gosh. i see this-- is it witch season already? it's been witch season. it's spooky time. it is. it comes earlier every year. is that because of, like, dark magic? - money. - it's money.... Read more

Category: Comedy

Yo, yo, yo, yo, what's up, everybody? [cheering, applause] it's john leguizamo here. look, in two short months, america is going to be deciding whether to let kamala harris, its first woman, or donald trump, its grossest man. and i'm here because you know how every time they say that a bell rings an... Read more

Category: People & Blogs

The daily show debate wrap up a hilarious take on the political circus welcome to the daily show john stewart with his signature wit delivers a comedic analysis of the second presidential debate in a way only he can john begins by humorously emphasizing that while this may be the second debate it feels... Read more

Category: Comedy

[theme music] we just witnessed a debate between president joseph robinette biden versus former president donald robinette trump. [laughter] it was a highly anticipated affair, according to the network that was running it. the first biden trump debate a little over one month away right here on cnn.... Read more

Category: Comedy

I knew there would be some wu-tang apparel when you walked out there. well, after you sung the praises of wu-tang at your chicago convention show. you saw that? yeah, of course i did. you talked about how that era, 1991-1995, four best years in american history. i agreed. - you agree, right? - i agreed.... Read more

Category: Comedy

Name any animated film from the company pixar toy story a point for shelby philip didn't push his buzzer and you gave him the point that smartass attitude is not going to get you into a good college phil you don't need to stare at those bad men okay that's not how people should behave Read more

Category: Comedy

So a storied career. you're one of the first employees at microsoft. you become a ceo of microsoft. you own the los angeles clippers. you have this dream life that, as a kid, you probably never even thought those were the heights that you might be able to attain. and in that moment, you turn your attention... Read more

Category: Comedy

Welcome to the daily show. i am jordan klepper. we got so much to talk about tonight. kamala and trump prepare for tomorrow night's debate. we hunt down the person who's sending you all those campaign emails. and dick cheney is once again taking shots at his republican friends. so, let's get into our... Read more

Category: People & Blogs

काशीनाथ हमें खुशी हुई तुम्हारी बहादुरी देखकर तुम्हें भी बहुत खुशी होगी यह जानकर कि आज के बाद तुम मेरे गिरह में काम करोगे यह मजदूर का हाथ है कातिया लोहा पिघलाकर उसका आकार बदल देता है यह ताकत खून पसीने से कमाई हुई रोटी की है मुझे किसी के टुकड़ों पर पलने की जरूरत नहीं कीड़े मकोड़ों की तरह गली में रंगने से बेहतर है यहां मर्दों में रहो शेर की तरह पिंजरे में आकर शेर भी कुत्ता बन जाता है कातिया तू चाहता है कि मैं तेरे यहां कुत्ता बनकर रहूं तू कहे तो... Read more

Category: Comedy

Please welcome hannah berner. [cheering, applause] n/a n/a i mean, look, this is amazing. this is-- you're so daily show. i tried to match the energy. yeah. [laughs] [cheering, applause] that's great. that's great. congrats on your special. - thank you. it's doing great. its very funny. i feel like... Read more

Category: Comedy

- [questioner] what are your thoughts on the tennis in "challengers"? - oh, great. you have an opinion on this. you mean the movie "challengers"? yeah. - i've talked so much shit about this movie. and i support women in the arts. zendaya is like my favorite. i love that they put a woman in sports. it's... Read more

Category: Entertainment

देखा सीं का सिगाला खाके शेर का गुराना देखा पूरी दुनिया का गोल गोल चक्कर लेके मैंने दुनिया को मारा धक्का हे बॉलीवुड हॉलीवुड वेरी वेरी जॉलीवुड राई के पहाड़ पर तीन फुटा लीली फट पीछ की ट किया तो साला मैंने तेरे मुंह पे मारा मुक्का अयाशी के बनवे से खुद को मोड़ना जानना कंबल बे बजा ये शर्म का Read more

Category: Comedy

One year [music] later one year later Read more

Category: Entertainment

अरे कुल मिला के 000 जमा हुआ है 000 जमा होना था बाकी दो लोग कौन है जो इस बार पैसा कम दिया है तुमको बोले थे ना सब बच्चा से पैसा लेना इतना कम पैसा में हम लोग कैसे टीचर्स डे सेलिब्रेट कर पाएंगे कौन दो लोग पैसा नहीं दिया है अरे काला कद्दू और गोरा कद्दू पैसा नहीं दिया है अरे उस लोग को कितना बार समझाना पड़ेगा हर साल का वही बात है जब सबको पता है हर बच्चा 5500 देता है टीचर्स डे के दिन तो वो लोग का नहीं दिया है ए काला कदो और गोला कर दो पैसा... Read more

Category: News & Politics

Em nao's true self comes out at 2024 us openen emma naro keeps it close to the best in her press conferences the rising 23-year-old who dethroned defending champion cocoa to reach her first us open quarterfinal speaks about her tennis with the calculated phrasing of a political science professor but... Read more

Category: Film & Animation

[music] [applause] [music] well here we are rose please i can't out we've been seeing each other for a month rose i've never wanted anyone so much what about your place my sister's there she's an insomniac we'd have an audience well i can't let you stay here i just can't well i simply can't take you... Read more

Category: Comedy

Please welcome back to the program, bill o'reilly. sir. [crowd cheering] [music playing] come on out. take your time. thanks for having me. - take your time. - appreciate it. - william. - yes, sir? our country, we are in such a dangerous moment. you've written books on almost every assassination. you... Read more

Category: Comedy

अरे भाई वो दो नंबर टेबल साफ कर दो ना बहुत भीड़ है यार मैं क्या बोलता हूं कहीं और चलते है क्या हां बेस्ट सर आपको कहीं जाने की जरूरत नहीं है आप टेंशन मत लो सर संडे हो या मंडे हम यहीं पे सर आपको अटेंड करने के लिए आपको कुछ भी चाहिए ना खाली अपना हाथ ऊपर करना ठीक है देखो अभी मैं जाता हूं आप हाथ ऊपर करना मैं आ जाऊंगा ठीक है आ गया सर बताइए आपको क्या चाहिए ये रहा मेन आप जब रेडी हो जाओगे तो अपना खाली हाथ कर देना यस सर हमारा ऑर्डर... Read more

Category: Music

Two1 ripped deep right field salmon back at the wall it's off the wall two runs are going to score loft and dicks for third he's held there and it's a six-run giants lead [applause] aon baker who's only 3 years old was standing almost in the direct line look at this shot between david bell and home... Read more