Browse Transcripts

Category: People & Blogs

Hi everybody hello welcome to the daily show my name is john stewart the second presidential debate has just wrapped up we are live well technically uh technically i guess this is the second presidential debate the first presidential debate of this matchup i can't wait to see who the winner will take... Read more

Category: News & Politics

So because we've done two debates and because they were successful there will be no third debate as everyone saw two nights ago we had a monumental victory over comrade camala harris in the presidential dep in a significant development ahead of the november 5th election republican presidential candidate... Read more

Category: People & Blogs

I actually created ivf i will personally inseminate any woman with sperm that wants it that's how much i believe in [music] ivf hey everybody welcome to the weekly show podcast with me john stewart we are back we are back with britney mmedic lauren walker our a wild producers we have been away for months... Read more

Category: Comedy

Please welcome sasheer zamata. [applause] n/a n/a n/a sasheer. - jordan. oh my gosh. - oh my gosh. - oh my gosh. oh my gosh. i see this-- is it witch season already? it's been witch season. it's spooky time. it is. it comes earlier every year. is that because of, like, dark magic? - money. - it's money.... Read more

Category: Comedy

Yo, yo, yo, yo, what's up, everybody? [cheering, applause] it's john leguizamo here. look, in two short months, america is going to be deciding whether to let kamala harris, its first woman, or donald trump, its grossest man. and i'm here because you know how every time they say that a bell rings an... Read more

Category: Education

God never misses a moment he never misses the opportunity to teach and so that's why we always need to be open to god's spirit speaking to us through his word and through the things that are going on around us he never misses an opportunity and this is what he's trying to point out with this little... Read more

Category: Comedy

It's honestly exhausting trying to keep up with the right-wing media's spinning and its lies and if you were paying attention yesterday you probably saw this picture of joe biden where he's wearing a trump 2024 hat and a bunch of trump fans called him scile and demented which was mean and also a weird... Read more

Category: Comedy

Joe biden was at an event honoring the first responders on september 11th and several people at the event were wearing trump shirts he approached a man wearing a trump hat and the two of them kind of hit it off presidential hat presidential seal on it you're ar gra oh sure i'll h you remember your name... Read more

Category: News & Politics

Okay so who will you be voting for in 2024 darl do i have to say his name i don't want to but more than likely it's going to be trump yeah unbelievable unbelievable who are you going to be voting for biden and then victor i'm with her oh biden okay trump trump biden biden trump okay we're an even split... Read more

Category: News & Politics

Jon stewart reacts to trump saying Read more

Category: People & Blogs

The daily show debate wrap up a hilarious take on the political circus welcome to the daily show john stewart with his signature wit delivers a comedic analysis of the second presidential debate in a way only he can john begins by humorously emphasizing that while this may be the second debate it feels... Read more

Category: News & Politics

Hi this is stephanie miller from the stephanie miller show please enjoy this exclusive clip from my show on political voices network he mentally ill yeah he's really in complete cognitive not decline collapse you know lawrence oon i don't know if he's the first one that said it but you use the phrase... Read more

Category: Comedy

We've basically got a tied race the candidates are doing everything they can do to ramp up the excitement kamla is speaking to voters in pennsylvania in spice stores trump is speaking to voters encased in bulletproof glass and jd vance is trying to counter accusations that he's weird by swimming in... Read more

Category: Comedy

[theme music] we just witnessed a debate between president joseph robinette biden versus former president donald robinette trump. [laughter] it was a highly anticipated affair, according to the network that was running it. the first biden trump debate a little over one month away right here on cnn.... Read more

Category: Comedy

[applause] we are now just 53 days away from the election and the candidates are pulling out all the stops to build out their coalitions on the republican side donald trump has been flying around the country with far-right internet troll laura lumer a 911 conspiracy theorist who trump brought to a 911... Read more

Category: Sports

None the trump campaign is facing a new wave of criticism efforts to control the former president's inflammatory remarks about immigrants have hit a wall despite numerous attempts at damage control trump's rhetoric continues to spark outrage in recent days his statements have been labeled as terrible... Read more

Category: Comedy

On the democratic side kamla harris is basking in the endorsement of taylor swift who posted her support to her 283 million instagram followers this week which i'm sure the conservatives are taking it well i'm allowed to criticize taylor swift and i don't give a sh who gets upset this is disgusting... Read more

Category: Entertainment

They're eating the dogs the people that came in they're eating the cats they're eating they're eating the pets of the people that live [applause] there she's a marxist everybody knows she's a marxist her father's a marxist professor in economics and he taught her well but when you look at what she's... Read more

Category: Comedy

I knew there would be some wu-tang apparel when you walked out there. well, after you sung the praises of wu-tang at your chicago convention show. you saw that? yeah, of course i did. you talked about how that era, 1991-1995, four best years in american history. i agreed. - you agree, right? - i agreed.... Read more

Category: Entertainment

If this is the weekly daily or hourly reminder you need to make sure you're registered and planning to vote then please allow me register and make a plan to vote why i don't know because i said so need another reason or okay how about today i say because of the environment i shouldn't have to still... Read more