2024 BMW i4: Regular Car Reviews

Intro all EVS feel the same even Teslas they feel like Transportation toasters under normal operation it doesn't matter if the car has 100 horsepower or a th000 EES when operated below their performance Zone feel like airport people movers but not the BMW I4 this car still makes you feel like a cranked up Vine Street Expressway veiny dick this episode of regular car reviews Good Chop Ad is sponsored by good chop it's a big box of meat I have all this copy here but all you really need to know is it's a big box of meat good chop has easy access to high quality products offers fully customizable boxes of high quality meat and seafood direct delivered to your door on your schedule the products are vacuum sealed and Flash Frozen flash frozen it has dry ice in it and you can play with it do the thing where you drop the dry ice in a glass of water and you make this foamy action just don't touch dry eyes with your fingers you'll literally freeze or burn yourself use tongs anyway so it's fresh we got grass Fred ribe eyes USDA prime flam andon wild caught salmon free range organic chicken breast chicken wings pork tenderloin and thick cut bacon it's a big box of me go to goodshop.com youube and use code regular 130 that's what's on the screen here to get $130 off your first four boxes of good chop atg goodshop.com youout promo code regular 130 so we'll get back to the ior in the moment but first we're going to cook New York strip step one salt all sides and then pepper I'm using powder garlic here little controversial I do concede that fresh minced garlic is better we got the skillet attachment nice and hot and 2 minutes per side resist the urge to move it once it's there oh yeah Sizzle flip it again 2 minutes come on man butter you think I wouldn't put butter on this some people sear the sides some people don't sear the sides I like searing the sides put it in a pan more butter and in the oven it goes for 5 minutes at only 170° bam perfect rare you're going to lose a lot of that pepper I put on during the Searing process but it gives you that that that crunchiness on the outside met with the tenderness on the inside go to goodshop.com youout and use code regular 130 to get $130 off your first four boxes of good chop at goodshop.com slout promo code regular 130 about really good the ad makes itself that was just closeup of you stuffing you did your a close up and just my mouth like yeah it's good job it's a box full of BMW Feeling meat I just farted BMW found a way to retain their sociopathic spor sedan attitude without internal combustion they did that by running the same second mortgage repair Bill suspension that they normally do the next thing they did was collect all the isoceles triangle 2000 era Bluetooth monophone earbud headsets they melted them all down and extracted the Mana and spe rose out of the cauldron and they moan do you know who I am and what do you mean there's no upgrades and I make more money than your entire family oh and also there's floating translucent Rolex submariners and Sky dwellers they they orbit around The Souls of geeked out Executive Vice Presidents what do you mean I can't park here you want that promotion don't you will drop those panties we have no human resources department your complaints will fall on death my penis is small so what you get is an electric BMW that feels just like any other Five series that isn't an m and an angular not Whimsical at all interior hold on I thought of a song You Don't drink don't smoke what do you do you jerk off in front of a full length mirrror with a photo of yourself from kindergarten tape to your face anyway the front of the BMW I4 doesn't have to have the ass face pressed butt cheek face because EVS require less engine bay airflow and radiator surface area than ice cars but you're a BMW driver and you need your image so here you go ay McGee the I's redeeming feature is the liftback it's a sedan yeah but it retains the C130 cargo orifice of a wagon nice I like this trunks are nice for for hiding valuables from Tweakers but cargo covers do that too but new parents will like this big hatch because it means they don't have to buy an SUV or crossover but can still easily store and retrieve the baby stroller and the sherpa siiz tote bag full of poop supplies I wonder if babies cry because they're remembering their past life and they're realizing now that they're going around again and they're staring down the barrel of 12 Years of school spelling words and long division the I4 as far as I was able to search does not allow you to toggle between off acceleration regen breaking and freewheeling the option to Freewheel is available on most Hyundai and Kia with the Flappy paddles if I want I can turn off automatic regen braking off acceleration so the car just coasts on kinetic energy when I let off the go pedal and that makes me wonder which is more efficient recapturing the kinetic energy by running the electric Drive motor backwards quotation marks or letting the car Coast for as long as possible losing its kinetic energy naturally and slowing down slower is there parasitic loss through regeneration or is it negligible I do know that when I'm driving my nairo in freewheeling mode I I drive differently I accelerate slowly because I know the car won't slow down when I let off I allow more space between myself and the car in front of me because I'm going to fill that space when the road goes downhill a bit and I'm cashing in on the potential energy I stored up by going uphill moments before and my estimated miles remaining when I'm doing this goes down slower I need a lot of situational awareness and brain system resource to drive that way but from the exterior I'm just an NPC white Kia being rendered in and out of reality but the BMW I4 can't select freewheeling mode on the Fly maybe there's an option very deep in the menu somewhere but I didn't find it that means when you drive you will drive in that frantic the merder won't happen if I if I'm late I know she's cheating I'm going to catch her why is she always at Halal Guys in Philly can't be that good can it fast slow fast slow fast slow electrons brake lights electrons brake lights electrons brake lights bmw4 BMW for men who put on a suit to get the mail Eevees exist in this bizarre space where they're supposed to signal that you're a better person while simultaneously giving you the horsepower and torque to be worse BMW drivers are impatient enough already and now you're giving them all this BMW EVS are never beating the trust fund bro comparisons not when the sounds of this car are composed by Han Zimmer this is the Mario warp whistle of cars because you just blow past everyone and everything the Power experience means nothing to you you're just trying to get to those end credits so you can do what exactly where else do you have to be in February 1990 that's so important anyway the I4 has dual electric motors producing 396 horsepower and 443 lb feet of torque with an estimated range of about 307 Mi on the high end it will get you from 0 to 60 in about 4.4 seconds although I believe Car and Driver quotes 4.9 in the real world anyway it's still under five also from what we could find these retail for about $61,000 at base but the supposed advantage in this model year is that all-wheel drive now is standard so you don't have to sell blood plasma to afford the top trim to get it on the one hand it's fast obviously it's like an M3 that's hopped up on White Collar snowfall but for a BMW you expect something more Dynamic than Target brand electric vehicle it has the chaotic Grace of internal combustion but of course in other moments it's as blandly efficient as any gas powerered sedan with a turbo yet cost a fortune but it plays to the cheap seats by mimicking the constipated aggression of gas-powered forbears there is this thing that the BM that this I4 is doing that I don't know how it's doing it still has that BMW Buzz that that that feeling of um uh uh uh the valve train that isn't there you know how BMWs just have this kind of distant feel to them it's like imagine you're at a lunch table or or any sort of long table you're at one end and someone's phone down on the other end sitting on the table starts going off in vibrate mode and you could feel it slightly in the table on on the other end it's almost ignorable but it's still there this has that so if it's not coming from the engine where is it coming from they better not be putting like a force feedback steering wheel in this thing of just Little electric motors that are making that they're not doing that but they're doing something something's making that buzzing feeling this car isn't a college kid adding pre-wrapped WWA hardboiled eggs to the ramen he got from a different WWA this is a guy with a taste for high pric noodle houses and gets a boner at the thought of spinning that iPad right around in the Bree to face tip options completely unmarked this BMW is on a firstname basis with its Regional Bank manager and each of the tellers but he's secretly looking for options to move his money offshore the I4 is entry number History five in the BMW I sub brand with this car supposedly requiring an investment of some2 million before factoring in the new equipment that would need to be made to accommodate manufacturing EVS at their Munich plant so for a time you had these things being built on the same assembly lines as gas powerered and hybrid vehicles which makes you wonder if cross-contamination is a thing with cars like tree nuts in a chocolate factory it's like if somebody forgot to wipe the surface after assembling the straight six and this car caught a case of internal combustions but then why are we even holding electric vehicles to these standards EVS aren't unique anymore more they've had a better part of a decade to become common place they're in known quantity now although I still get Boomer appalation hikers when I pick them up in my electric Kia and they go so is this a hybrid like n it's a ful EV so this is all electric yeah so what do you think of it I don't it's a car we're getting to the point now where driving an electric car does not represent larger ideals this car signifies what any other BMW would oh let me get over before this I4 runs me off the road and yet the reputation of a brand is largely the responsibility of the people who own its cars perhaps electric BMW signify a shift toward a more responsible less entitled mindset on the open road but if I held my breath for that the brain damage would be irreversible the BMW I4 is a car that feels preoccupied with the entra of style while remaining devoid of any real character besides it's nice it's a BMW your dad will finally shake your hand when you pull up to church in this car Butt History yes it's very nice of course it is you paid money for it anybody would be lucky to have it but if cars are meant to be more than just appliances if they're the things we're meant to love to become an extension of ourselves then I'm not really sure what this is because the I4 is not a car you fall in love with it's something you leas for a few years before move moving on to the next new thing Lea frogging from one temporary Comfort to another it's almost a microcosm for modern living cobbling happiness out of limited transitional experiences it's kind of cynical isn't it let's try another approach is it possible that people are being sincere about i4s is there no more room for sincerity and passion in the luxury car market or is the clubhouse already at capacity in the early days of regular car reviews there was no quicker way for us to bring out the hammer wheel Fanboys than by speaking ill of Bavarian Motorworks and I'm not sure you get that kind of response without sincerity without passion in a way you don't get the BMW drivers bad cliche without it either because you could argue that it's the natural consequence of the passion that has you believing your brand is the best brand and your car is more special than anybody else's sure it could simply be that you feel feel it special because you paid a lot for it and you don't want that expense being minimalized but it's still a kind of passion to come to a car's defense especially when that car has shortcomings as all cars do but passion is everywhere in the automotive Community like EVS it's not unique and while it's easy to imagine being passionate about BMW it's a harder cell to Envision anybody being passionate about this BMW yet in an auto industry where sedans seem to be slowly dying off and their internal combustion form these are likely to be the cars developing a stronger fan base over time because the gas powerered options will be less prevent while the infrastructure improves for the vehicles made to replace them at least that's the idea but we're not there yet and there's no real telling when we actually will have the infrastructure to make EVS common place for anybody who lives in a rural area like this or who doesn't want to drive a Tesla I suppose that's more of an argument for when are we going to are we going to to decide between CCS or the Tesla charger I get it the North American Standard once we get the shape of the plug figured out then we can worry about whether EVS can stand toe-to-toe with combustion vehicles in rural areas I'm all cynical about the plug shape thing the right amount of politicians are going to need to be bribed the right amount of money and then we'll get a standardized plug shape in the meantime I guess BMW makes as much sense as any other non- Tesla EV but while this ultimately isn't a bad car it doesn't really set itself apart that much from the Litany of other EVS out there with the exception that it still makes you drive like a veiny erect dick or your is becoming like 4 in long and you have new urges POV driving now now when I drive my Kia it is in eco mode all the time because it's fast enough and I get the same feeling here like you could just drive in eco mode and it seems to be doing the exact same thing that KIA does is that it just slows your throttle response that's it it feels like all the power is still here it just comes on a little bit [Music] [Music] slower what is that noise oh okay put it in Drive put in neutral if you can it still makes that noise it just makes [Music] a that noise reverse doesn't immediately come to mind it's just like yeah [Music] lowth I mean I like it better than what Kia does Kia is just a big pensy truck beep beep beep and that and the sound it makes going forward just sounds like it just sounds like your your your AC condenser fans door panels don't the door closed sound donon it's definitely not Mercedes did they have to for go some sound deadening in these doors donk for lightness rear doors make that sound no rear doors make a different sound is it just the driver's door that makes that sound that's a normal car door sound n that one makes it too donk