Honest Promo | Chris Jericho

I'm Dave and I no wrestling do you want a wrestler that's only sometimes Canadian do you want a wrestler that only sometimes has abs and do you want a wrestler that's only sometimes a legend because he really has done a lot in aew to undo his own legacy then allow me to introduce to you my client for Dave NOS wrestling's honest promos the abdominal snowman Chris Jer Mo at least he's not the worst wrestling Canadian Chris Christopher Irvine or Chris Jericho behold the wrestler who has fallen from Grace faster than anyone without a Boflex or a Gawker video as Chris used to be a promising young rookie who is really charismatic and has now become an old embarrassment that people are wondering why they ever liked in the first place luchasaurus isn't the only dinosaur in aw longtime fans no doubt remember him as the courageous lionard in ECW and for things like his comedic segments in WCW such as the Jericho conspiracy theory which Sami Zing kind of ripped off years later only to now see him as a some Downing parody of himself that seems like he might need help getting dressed or eaten and it's a shame really since he's probably the most successful use of a Dusty finish even though it wasn't booked by Dusty if you recall back then there were those who viewed Chris as nothing more than a mere cruiserweight an image that he and his metabolism are fighting even to this day and his metabolism is winning but after being Tri Tri H for the title and then getting a redcon WWE saw that Chris would be accepted by the masses as a world champion and so while he was on the verge of leaving due to frustration this propelled him straight into the main event scene where he would eventually become the first ever Undisputed WWE Champion it's too bad that in the following WrestleMania all the fans still rather have had Hulk Hogan and rock in the main event than Chris guess he's not so much Le Champion as he is a less Champion don't worry though as Chris would eventually pay his recompense by getting yet another w title match at WrestleMania but this time he would get pushed aside for The Rock and John Cena instead not to mention his WrestleMania Universal title match that was all set up and ready to go with Kevin Owens only to watch it devolve into being a United States Championship match that happened way early in the card plus let's also keep in mind that he was supposed to be in the main event B for Wrestlemania 16 only to get replaced by Mick Foley and to make matters worse he also created the Money in the Bank match but was never able to win one man everybody really does hate Chris well though things would all work out as Irvine became the first ever aew world champion over that of Adam pagee and while a near 50-year-old beating a younger Talent is seen as something of a bad thing in WWE and aw it's fine because of um the key demographic or something which aside from being a statistic that aw fans only seen to bring up whenever Dynamite does well in it really has no value let's be real here the whole key demo crap is an overdramatized number that Jericho came up with just to sell a few t-shirts and to justify aw's lack of growth don't believe me fine just put a commercial on raw and put a commercial on Dynamite and tell me which one cost you more there is a lot of irony in caring about something that you claim only advertisers care about anyway Chris did his job by getting this aain cat phrase over and getting smarts to think that it matters more than it does but speaking of morons that follow bright shiny objects at the expense of their own well-being and Common Sense let's look at all the Geniuses that followed Chris to that concert in Sturgis during the height of the pandemic that's right Chris's old man garage band was responsible for about a quarter of a million brand new cases at the super spreader event I wouldn't risk stubbing a toad to see fozy with old guys like Irvine it's no wonder that aew young people don't want to listen to their Elders however I should point out that as old as Chris is he still has Arenas of young people singing along to his entrance music you know that catch a song about someone's own mental insecurities betraying them to their own detriment man heed your own warning Chris although the really funny thing is while fans seem to know every word to Chris's current entrance song has admitted that he really didn't know the words to his last one in WWE at least now we know he doesn't need a clock to get over oh but on the subject of old men diddling their instruments does anyone remember when Chris used to go by the name of moon Goose McQueen if Jericho wasn't already enough of a sum he had to add yet another layer to try and cover up the last name of his famous hockey fan but you know Chris has always had a really weird sense of humor like when he had that bodyguard that looked more like a homeless marshmallow than an actual person which happened as a result of WCW telling Chris go to the power plant and pick anyone you want to play the role of your bodyguard so of course picking the guy unloading the truck in the back was obviously the best choice then again Kay Faber otherwise it's not like he needed a bodyguard for his Fe against Goldberg since he allegedly beat him backstage in real life all because apparently Goldberg might have called him small and throughout the years that chip on Chris's shoulder has only grown along with his gut which is the same exact gut that started trending on Twitter when a bunch of lasts wrestling fans who were waiting for the NBA to start saw the overrun of dynamite only to ask themselves what is that thing that ate Chris Jericho yep wa to bring wrestling back now fine that's not fair as Chris has done a lot to help the company as long as you ignore all the signs that point to him as the one who was stirring to pot against CM Punk because without Punk who was their biggest star aw has really begun to drop off good thing we gave IR run some backstage pull huh but come on he deserves that kind of executive position as he's always remained classy by doing things like getting that stupid bubbly meme over and forg getting the championship belt on a limo and most of all by having the did deire yep that's right a musical dance number that's what your precious key demo really wants this is wrestling it's crap like this that drove fans like me the jerichoholics anonymous my name is Dave and I'm a recovering jerkaholic however we can forgive this one minor faux because it's not like Chris has done anything else to make wrestling look fake aside from that crash bat that he used for the blood and guts match as well as being caught on camera opening one eye and talking on screen when he was supposed to be selling and let's also remember his Double Power Bomb move where you could blankly see his opponent holding on to his risk showing the cooperation and they say the Young Bucks are the little flippy guys with executive power in aew that are ruining the business ah but forget about all that just remember that Chris is one of the very best technical wrestlers of all time which should be no surprise since he did graduate from the famous heart family dungeon and trained under Stu har and by that I mean he briefly met two of the Lesser famous har Brothers while he trained under Ed Langley however the bigger travesty here is that while he did train at the har Brothers school he was forced into an angle where he had to say that sha Michaels was his favorite wrestler of all time even though the two of them only debuted six years apart from each other okay faor not you should still get your Canadian citizenship revoked after saying that ah but that does remind me that WWE itself did try to ignore Chris's Northern Heritage like during that time period where they built him from Manhasset New York and yes he was born there but he considers himself as being from Canada since that's where he grew up and he is a dual citizen but WWE thought he'd be more likable as a wrestler if he wasn't Canadian but personally it's actually the other way around for me anyway this isn't the only thing that Irvine's ever gone back and forth on let's just look at all of his different finishers that he's had over the years like his non- remarkable breakdown The Lion Salt the Cod breaker the Judas effect and is it the elevated lion tamer or is it the regular Boston crab walls of Jericho wow he really is competing with demon link over who has more moves huh in the end if you want a wrestler who got WWE to let him go to New Japan only because he promised that he would never wrestle for another American company a wrestler who rocks out while he clocks out and a wrestler who keeps getting referenced by Cobra Kai for some reason then allow me to introduce to you my client for Dave nose wrestling's honest promos lame Champion the highlight of nobody's night anymore the jichan 6000 lbs the ayatolla of lock down rock and rolla Y 2 far from okay the king of bland Bland baby armbar Christopher Irvine or Chris [Music] Jericho looks like I just made the list [Music]