The Crow (2024) - First Reviews w/ Rotten Tomatoes & Metacritic Score REACTION (Pathetic)

hey what's up everyone welcome to another for anyway so this is uh the crow 2024 anyway so yeah a lot of the reviews have come out the movie is out I'm GNA just I'll let you know here right here right now I already saw one review and it was not good uh also I'm going to say right here that uh I already fig figured that was going to happen one I mean the trailer itself was I didn't think it was terrible but it's just nothing like the crow uh I will say some of the clips that came out I was like okay that's pretty good I mean but it was it was violence sure but like Ian that was it the two clips I watch were like oh he gets run over by a truck and then oh he gets he snaps someone's neck by stepping on them real hard and stuff I mean it's violent yeah but uh there was a lot more to uh the crow than just like graphic violence um yeah I mean there was there was that too but I don't know there's just something about it they never released a second trailer at least I don't think they did and I don't know there's just I don't know anyway so uh we have the reviews out now I guess the review embargo lifted or maybe there wasn't really embargo maybe we just couldn't see the movie I don't know there was a right carpet Premiere so anyway uh surprisingly I just this movie man how much did this cost Lions Gate's just throwing it out there dude you think they would at least hype it up a little bit more considering how bad Borderlands [ __ ] flopped but I don't know Lions gay is not doing well well if I would not be surprised if news comes out soonish that Lions Gate's like doing very poorly anyway so let's get to it let's check this out you ready yeah you are let's go maybe they had something that was a success didn't don't they release the Hunger Games movies is that them that was there was a Hunger Games movie that did okay last year all right let's find out if this is good um it's not it's not going to be I'm going to guess I'm going be a fair I'm going to say 35% I just don't think it's going to be good the review was scathingly bad so I think I'm giving it way too high of of a mark same thing with Borderlands maybe I should go lower you know I'll just say 35% let's find out shall we I'm not thrilled about this at all I was actually about to see it too like an hour ago I was like oh there's one like in 15 minutes and there's nobody in the theater I was just like I don't feel like it anyway let's get to it let's go okay there it is I see it all right we'll do this so we can see the full big number oh you know what this is actually perfect let's let's look at the Crow original 86% nice nice That's pretty good okay I mean it should be a little higher but whatever 90% uh audience score that's that's good all right [ __ ] yeah all right that's not surprising God damn it a 15 years waiting for for this remake and this is what they came up with God damn it cool I say remake I know it's a rtation of the graphic novel shut up the only reason why this got a freaking reboot is because of how successful the first movie was don't even act like that's not the case okay I know the comic is great and that's amazing I love it boy I eat it up and maybe you're right maybe it would have gotten one anyway even if they were 1994 one 30 years later 133% that's about hold on before I even look any further what what the [ __ ] does the other movies have the really shitty ones no Wicked PR City Angels here we go this one no no no no no no no no there's no way there's no way it's better by 1% it's all right to be there's more reviews for this version than there is for the 2024 version okay the crow 2024 will get more reviews than this will on Rotten Tomatoes what was the average let's see maybe maybe all right three all right no I'll CR 3.5 okay what does this one have oh you know let's see the other ones also but okay it is higher 4.4 so the average rating is higher so it's got to beat there come on you have Bill scars guard too I mean I should have expected this considering is f [ __ ] [ __ ] from the director of the ghost in a shell live action which I didn't even hate but it's just like what the [ __ ] oh my God and also you didn't do Snow White and the Huntsman yeah okay that makes sense look how terrible that looks that's [ __ ] dog [ __ ] what a terrible movie and guess what this one's just as bad too this one sucks too wow that one actually has better reviews I mean it I guess all right I'll I'll say it's probably better but it's dog [ __ ] all three of them are like almost equally dog I'm talking about the the three original sequels these ones oh man they're so [ __ ] h i don't look at it no I don't look at it get away from me anyway let's read these okay most notable for excessively straining for R-rated credibility at every turn yeah yeah it kind of look like that in the uh in the trailer like they're really going which is weird because this is an Airlines gate movie and they didn't turn this into PG-13 movie they did with Borderlands because Borderlands originally was supposed to be R-rated I believe and then they reshot some stuff you know thanks to sloppy editing and a general lack of basic storytelling events speed pass without much explanation emotional resonance or in some scenes basic communication the original Crow is by no means a perfect film I mean what is its dialogue is often corny yeah but it's cool it's sentimental sentimentality heavy-handed yeah but come on and I don't believe the comics are so sacred that they can never be adapted again but Sanders's vision is just dull yeah Vision uh the crow is not a waste of Talent OR resources worse it just hangs there on the screen as Undead as Eric himself Brandon Le's original was hard to shake because of his untimely demise yeah this this forgettable new vision version Vision version whatever uh doesn't just fail to honor his memory and never justifies it existence on its own merits yeah the crow 2024 is flawed and will probably not win over this is actually a positive review I don't even know uh sorry I was just like reading this stuff without even like processing it I don't know I'm like whatever these are the only three good reviews by the way so everything else will be negative after this uh wait was that Grace Randolph did I just see her no I just did I just make up grece Randolph in my brain hold on no [ __ ] those positive reviews did I I'm looking for a picture not her name she's got that no she's not here [ __ ] I think I confused her with her because she has like the same pose maybe maybe hold on maybe she's here [ __ ] all right anyway the crow is flawed and will probably not win over Die Hard fans of the classic 1994 movie but it's the bright spots in between those flaws that keep it from being dull or forgettable like what whatever I'm sure the review explains expl more the crow isn't bad and it gets better as it goes but it's exercise in Folly it cannot Escape Lee in the 1994 original even as it builds a more allegorical scaffolding for the smartphone generate this story of love and the desperation one feels to get it back makes the crow a worthwhile movie to see that's just original I I don't know I don't know I what's her name FKA twigs the [ __ ] is that name um and uh Bill Skarsgard I I would say their Charisma or their chemistry in the trailer was like close to zero but that was a trailer to be fair um like has that really really terrible line you feel like my person or whatever I'm just like anyway yeah anyway I genuinely perplexing film I mean that on a braad level how did Hollywood struggle for decades to reboot this property ended up with such a right the [ __ ] the Remake gets bogged down by a Superfluous hack need backstory what back what and narrative are consp why did they name him Eric Draven why in the original movie and comic what what but Happ abouted to three other sequels they said [ __ ] it just crow the crow the other people other people are the crow like they could have just did that they could have did that again why have to be Eric Draven anyway hacky the back story and narrative threads are conspicuous of emotional gravit causing the film to feel like a wheel spitting exercise with little stylization a generic plot line removing much of damn three out of 10 much of what made the original Comics at least stand out the clearest feeling of why I watch this when I could watch that this is a less of a bird that got away and more like a bad egg all together I'm Aaron whatever from we live entertainment signing off this game this game this movie sucks my balls good night [ __ ] you [ __ ] you for watching all right it's so weird after all these years I don't know why he told me to go [ __ ] myself also it's a review I you mean watch anyway uh after all these years of talk it might have been bound to dis point but you oh that's good and in a world where brenon Lee original never existed it still would have done so yep yep one thing that really annoyed me in the trailer is like the emphasis on just making it look as dull and generic as possible that's like that that is like the Cardinal thing because [ __ ] isn't Cardinal a bird also that could be a that could be kind of a pun um because what the [ __ ] like really like really think about it just think about it the original Crow has a distinct style looks great looks like at times it looks like a black and white comic it looks so good and then you just make it look like any other [ __ ] movie and revenge story just they're obviously wanted their own John Wick of some sort because even like in the in the clips I saw and stuff there's like a lot of violence a lot of like fun fun action I gu I don't know they wanted their own kind of like franch where it's like vient well actually wait who [ __ ] releases John Wick is it is it lion gate it is so what the [ __ ] yeah they ass ain't GNA [ __ ] get bankrupt if they make John Wick what the [ __ ] all right hold on I want to see what else Lions Gate has does Li gate do um do saw do they do saw that's right they're releasing megalopolis yeah it's not a good time for them this month is not their month let me just say cuz that movie might be interesting but like that trailer came out recently which by the way I had to [ __ ] edit to remove the trailer part because I got hit with a [ __ ] thing as if it was my fault that they lied about the [ __ ] reviews um let me see what else they got they got uh yeah they got saw that's what I thought oh they did cesu that's right they really cesu wow they don't have a lot of really good stuff though wow I'm like looking at stuff pray for the devil that [ __ ] dog [ __ ] movie but a lot of the other stuff clerks 3 they released okay a lot of really crappy straight to DVD movies they did some of the Bruce Willis straight to DVD movies like detective night trilogy they helped produce moonfall they did that penio movie the one with poly Shore the father when can I all right sorry for the edit there uh anyway back back to it uh I forgot what I was saying I don't know it doesn't take long to realize that what what that what that what was meant to be a franchise starter is unlike its hero permanently DOA struggling through an identity crisis the crow is doing too much and as a result doesn't do enough to serve its own core narrative hold on I want to see if uh My Boy drum Dums has reviewed this because I know he's a big Crow fan um no I don't think he did maybe he didn't get a screener so he's probably seeing it right now yeah he's probably seeing it right now yeah yeah yeah I'm sure that's exactly what's happening uh the crow 2.0 is a total head head and hands disaster incoherently plotted and sloppily made destined to join the anals of the very worst and most pointless remakes ever made technically again not a remake but whatever um though Mr scarg guard is Gravely charismatic and FKA twigs is touching the Dow depressing dankness of Mr sand Vision makes to Crow a turkey okay so actually FKA twigs is all right and from Kyle Smith which had like the most generic name possible also I've seen him around for years he's been around the crow isn't necessarily bad as much as it's different being more of a cross between the Jo Joker and John Wick than anything resembling the 19 what what I know John Wick Joker I guess because he's wearing the makeup I guess he put you see him put the makeup on stuff but like he cuts people's heads off and throws them like I FL drag on exhaus the patient the viewer I'm I'm done I don't [ __ ] care anymore let's let's just check medic Craig and get this [ __ ] over with yeah it's [ __ ] 29 oh my God wait hold on I need to screenshot this I'm G make a tweet right now I'm make a tweet right now there you go all right so uh there you go that's it we're done it sucks it big sucks but can we just have [ __ ] good things sometimes like what the [ __ ] bro just watch the original but like I I would like a new Crow movie I would like we don't need to do [ __ ] his story again but the crow has so many potential good storylines it doesn't he always be Revenge it could be like someone got kill maybe hey make it so that the crow is a bad guy that could be I mean I don't know the the Deep lore of The Crow from the comics um but is it supposed to be like someone who's like gets killed but they haven't finished with their star or whatever um they could do something like that where it's like actually somebody who's a bad guy you know and people have to [ __ ] worry about the crow being evil now or whatever because he had un unfinished business or something I don't know you could do so many things with the crow you can and they just did the same thing except John Wick now and not even visually just I'm trying to think of something positive to say from all this the uh the um the posters are pretty good have you seen the posters the posters are pretty good actually you can see that one yeah you go that's a pretty good poster I like that if I saw that I'd be like yeah that might be good yeah if they they only showed this in no trailer yet I'd be like this poster is pretty good I like that uh there's another one where it was like him made out of crows let me see it this one right here that's pretty good I like that that's a good poster how about the the other one okay that one's not great um yeah I hate that experience it an IMAX experience what experience it true love never dive all right if they just gave him longer hair I wouldn't like I don't know whatever the thing like it's Eric Draven but they won't even make him look like Eric Draven at all uh [ __ ] [ __ ] it I'm done bye