Bachelorette Jenn Tells All: Exes, Toxic Men & Dream Wedding ft. Jenn Tran | Wild 'Til 9 Episode 199

[Music] you ready yep let's go home welcome back to well till 9 welcome back a special guest oh my God today we have a special guest joining us today we have Jen Tran the first Asian-American leading Bachelor Nation history she is The Bachelorette of season 21 we're down to 11 suitors one new ex-boyfriend on the show at the time of recording and we are so excited to have you I'm very EXC excited to be here thanks for having me Jeremy watched his first episode of the of any bachelor Bachelorette show ever for preparation for I feel so honored very first one was it this past week's episode yes a pretty good episode I'd say to be introduced to the literally it was Jam pack and I would pause and give all of like the the details of like the beef between like Devon and Sam um your ex-boyfriend came back obviously like that was a lot yeah I cannot imagine how difficult it must be to have such a crazy secret knowing how it all ends so I think you've mentioned that you've told one friend and obviously I'm sure like your mom and family know but have there been any like what's the closest call you've had to like letting it out of the bag um surprisingly not many I think it's been pretty easy so far to kind of just keep that part of my life separate just like how it all ends and stuff but I mean yeah I think it probably gets hard harder as time goes on because now I you get closer and closer yeah you're getting closer and closer and it's like oh I want so badly to kind of just reveal how it all ended especially because it just ended in such a special way to me um reading into this I know like I'm like what does that mean special end special ending to you your best friends must be like they have to are they not trying to just tear you down they being very respectful which I appreciate I would if that was if that was like Mia or Remy like my best friends I would be like [ __ ] spit spit it out spit it out I would be crazy Lauren when she is aware of a secret like once once she when she knows it exists she'll need to know so that is so nice and respectful of your friends to like give you that boundary because personally I would not be capable so I love that for you I appreciate it so much cuz I feel like sometimes it can get overwhelming like doing things like this and then like when I go back to my normal life sometimes in Miami and it's like I'm with my friends I appreciate how much they like don't ask me about it like I can't just like be on all the time um so yeah I mean they haven't been too pushy which I love and it's things have been not too bad holding back at what I need to hold back I mean that's an ideal situation I feel like watching it all unfolds yeah um so yeah Jeremy got to watch the last episode and he's in now right you're committed for the rest of the season say are you invested cuz now we have a personal time I committed to every other episode okay well committ but I just feel like what hometowns fantasy like it's going get so good it's going to get so good listen again if actually I will watch The Next Episode I was going to say are you only watching every other you're saying I'm just saying I want to I want to keep my my my Baseline low here however yeah interesting approach however but that means you're only getting half the story and I hate that again I'll watch the next episode because I was interested in the last one okay there go and so if it keeps you okay so we have to win you over each episode right I'm going to be putting in work here okay just know just know I'm put okay it's like a drug addict like little by little you're like oh okay I'm hooked I'm not going to go back for another but I might I might I'll just turn it here's why I know that I'm at least interested enough I the only reason I feel like I could get away with watching every other one is because I already know what happens I have my favorite oh he does have a favorite I actually I have favorites we he has favorites but I but like you know happens because of your favorite right and like I know that who would I want to marry from these wonderful 12 men who are and by the way I've got opinions so much sense I got opinions let's hear your opinion oh we'll go through it oh yeah and also mostly there's something that I'm just like go home go away what are you still doing here for someone who's not invested yet you're very invested see what I'm saying he's in he says that he's every other but this man is in he is invested every other will Circle back next Monday so on the last episode your ex-boyfriend shows up and I feel like they've been teasing this and I'm so happy that we finally got the payoff and got the reveal I remember seeing his Tik toks when you were a contestant on Joey season cuz was like oh my God this wiener dog is so freaking cute so cute how did things end with him before like what the what's the timeline for you guys and you said you dated for like three or four months starting three years ago and like Revisited but kind of what's the timeline um Matt right yes Matt so yeah we dated three years ago it was kind of like during Co for like a few months and he broke it off and then after that we like didn't talk too much and then we did kind of rekindle things a little bit but then there was a moment in which I was like okay this is not happening again however he lives in Boston my family lives in Boston so I've been back got it we've gotten dinner together caught up yes well I've had my owns um I love that you Ed the full name to when he showed up and you're like Matthew and I was like oh she said that before I was appalled I was appalled I had to use his government name didn't seem enough for me and yeah so we had we'd seen each other here and there over the years since we had like officially broken up 3 years ago and it was just like for dinner here and there like nothing crazy just keeping in touch yeah keeping touch and he's just become like a really good friend of mine over the years throughout all of that and um after Joey's season aired and all that stuff like enduring it like we kind of just started talking a lot about um just like catching up on life and stuff like that but I at that point back then like didn't really think anything of it we we were living in different places and I was seeing other people so it wasn't like super serious it wasn't anything in my head that I was like oh like this is like a serious starting to date during Co be would be such a weird dynamic like you can't do some of like the basic stuff but also everything seems harder yes yes I think dating and Co was so different because you couldn't go out to dinner all the time and you to Bar travel or anything everything almost seems more intimate like right away yeah for sure cuz a lot of your dats were like at the other person's house at that right right so you're watching this at the same time like as the episodes start airing like you're seeing this all at the same time as we are right mhm um so I'm kind of watching it a couple days before okay okay okay okay got it got it got it but it's just so crazy like seeing how much happens behind the scenes like between the guys when you're on a date or like doing your own thing or whatever what's been some of the most shocking moments that have happened that you were like not in the room for that you're now watching back just all the drama between the guys like at every cocktail party every cocktail party like a group date or or a rose ceremony cocktail party I'm like I had no idea how much they were bickering right I wish that I did because I'd love to be a fly on the wall and like see like how long these conversations were going on for like I love a little bit of drama it was it was interesting watching it back seeing some of these guys like True Colors really shine right um but I was I had no idea yeah yeah but that would be such a weird way to like almost re-experience your reality it's like oh my God that's like you're getting to see the other side of like what was happening unfold you know what I mean in like a parallel universe cuz you know what happened you were there yes you you like you participated in the whole thing but like you're participating in the side that you weren't supposed to yet right yet it was on camera so it's like it's a very interesting concept and I think oh the whole thing is an interesting concept it is it is I think it's honestly almost even applicable too to like you're dating somebody but you don't see how they act with their friends totally with the Bros yeah so it's interesting that now you kind of get to see the whole person right right right right oh my God I have so many questions that I like I I we will have to I can't wait to chat with you after the season H end oh my God to unpack it all um but show fashion all like the freaking dresses are so amazing them all what's been the difference um like being a contestant versus like being The Bachelorette with all of like the gowns and stuff that you're wearing yeah I'm packing well as a contestant I packed all my own clothes had to like guess how many Rose cemory dresses I needed and like and all the dates and stuff and you're also packing for like cold weather and warm weather cuz you have no idea where you're going right so I like a length of time almost yes and you're like unknown length of time unknown weather unknown dates it's like you're preparing for the worst the worst agreement you'll ever sign just like hey by the way we don't know we have no concrete answers but we need all the concrete an as a girl it's horrible because I take my fashion very seriously so it's very hard to pack the other way around but this time around we do have like a stylist for the show and he's the absolute best and he basically just had racks and racks of clothing that I could pick from um for each of the dates so it was like every girl's dream in like a makeover scenario you know you go you go in you pick out an outfit a gown whatever it is um it's it's very luxurious wait what would you what would you have done or what did other people do who ran out of clothing in in on when you're a contestant you go shopping there there are definitely days where like but you go shopping and you buy it yeah yeah it's on your dime that's on your credit card wow yeah not sponsored yeah actually I did hear you say that on um uh Asian Asian girl boss yeah episode where I I didn't realize that people had a day where they could go get their nails done and stuff yeah yeah I very much thought that you were just like you know you're in Bachelor Bachelor worlds yeah until you you pop out yeah there's definitely maintenance days if you need it especially when you're traveling I love that maintenance days that's so real as a woman hey you need to do what you differ The Bachelor and bachette like Seasons mten like some guys get like a fade for their hair like days that's true iut some guys got their nails done I don't know Jeremy Jeremy's not um unfamiliar with the pedicure yeah but I I'm like on every other year basis yeah it's not great it's not I would want to see your no they're you know what actually in defense of his feet they're are you to stick up for my feet I know stick up feet so romantic they are not as bad as they could this is getting less okay okay we started I will say every time I feel like I see a body part on another man I go wow that's grosser than to me I'm like I'm like oh there's worse there's that that could be much worse so it makes you appreciate what you already have look at how low the bar could be could yeah okay never the grass is not greener on the other side on the foot so funny it's really you did make a a point when Hugh Jackman's shirt got blown off though you made a couple points about that grass and how green that was when Hugh Jackman I don't want to give any spoilers for when we went to go see Deadpool and Wolverine his abs were in there that's spoil some oiled he was oh my God recently lubed I've never seen anything like that before especially for his age like he's he looked so good I saw an interview he said he was eating 6,000 calories a day to like prep to be that buff for the interesting also coming out of the like plain music man right right he was doing he was doing theater and then imagine like the last couple shows Just Like Music Man well he said he ripped a pair of pants yeah he was so buffed he was like I kept ripping my pants on stage because his butt was so big imagine having that problem I would love that issue I would love that problem I don't also have that issue okay so like when you resurface from Bachelor world and you get your phone back cuz how long do you go without a phone over this whole span of the process yeah so we started f filming like pretty immediately after I was announced at AFR up until I think what is it has it been like a month or two now so it was it was around two months of without my phone that feels like kind of crazy like yeah me as an iPad baby I would I would spiral you know what I mean like I I don't even know what I would do I think I would self implode you're not an iPad baby what you're not an iPad baby I very much am an iPad baby currently like currently an iPad baby oh yeah I'm an iPad baby imag not when you were no oh no no I'm turning 31 I there were no iPad iPod children I was an iPod teenager that's fair me too me too no no I'm an iPad baby now is what I mean I recommend it for anybody was it refreshing it was the best two months of my life not having my phone not having social media not being not having your brain jumbled up with like millions of information all at once I really think it clouds your judgment and your decision- making and just like your everyday life it's not healthy to be processing that much information all at once as humans we were made to do that so I also think that that's the source of a lot of anxiety and depression these days it's like you're constantly comparing yourself to what's online and just like processing all that information that it really does drag you down and so for me not having my phone in those two months I did not I've never thought clearer in my life I felt so clear yeah oh my God see I don't even know if I could go two days you know what though I think that the first two days are probably the hardest and then bet it gets easier funny enough the first time around when I was without my phone on Joey's season I was having like Phantom like phone vibrates yes vibrations and just like reaching for my phone and I was like wait a second I don't have it like it was a weird experience to even be going through withdrawal like is there is there no physical phone at all no phone at all no phone no phone no phone at all so very strange to see how addicted you are too because you're constantly like picking something up what I'm saying and I was like I have a problem like that's it's it was a it was very revealing to me has your screen time gone down since the show oh no I'm right back where it was right okay okay but we still you accomplished the cleanse times two with two seasons under your belt now and you can do it and so I feel like that's all that matters also right now there's just like a lot going on online for me so I'm like trying to just like ex yeah see things and and just like keep up to date right now but I think as soon as the hype kind of dies down with everything I will try to go more days without my phone because I think it's healthy for you yeah no you're you're definitely like I don't know if I personally can participate but I love the movement and support you you're like that's good for you but it's not for me no I think I would literally get a rash it's great for you yeah genu think I'd break out you hives for oh my gosh I got it I got it when you resurfaced what was the craziest thing that had happened like pul culture or like even within like friend groups or whatever that had happened when you like came back out into the real world uh Taylor Swift released her album right that's right you're a huge Swifty a huge Swifty the crew even like let you in on that um I did have a producer with me like on the flights and stuff so I would steal his phone to let okay thank God yes is he going to get fired now or uh no I hope not Bradford sorry we love that for Bradford oh we're naming people it was the producer now it's I'm just kidding no no I me you're you can like listen to music here and there and stuff and like when you're on those flights too you don't have your phone obviously but there's TV on on the flights and and some of them have music and they're not always up toate music like I was listening to like Australian classical music usually what I listen to yeah that's that's my go-to perfect I'm glad I'm not the weird one no no it's top layer yeah you'll get there oh my God that's so crazy yeah so you're raw dog and a flight raw dog and a flight especially a 16-hour flight to Australia that's wild again I think I'd end up in hives honestly I slept for a lot of it it was nice I knocked right out especially because you're going for a rose ceremony the first night that like went basically all night right not get any sleep so to kind of hop on a flight after that I was like thank God yeah that is kind of nice you can finally just like head hits the pillow and you're out you're out yeah yeah exactly um so the initial night for like the opening first row ceremony was at hummingbird nest Ranch and we're not at the bachelor mansion and you and I have already chatted about this but it was at the venue where Jeremy and I got married which was so crazy to see great choice great huge fans thank you I I'm going to pretend I had a choice in that no but it looked so stunning um it was beautiful honestly who had the most memorable for you initial entrance um Jonathan when he came in on a griny with his head wrapped and in a hospital cwn for sure I and I feel like also too what about like the best part is that his his ass was out his butt just butt but in the wind I me you didn't watch the first episod so you don't I've already heard about this oh you heard about it well cuz I paused it when he came on screen and I was like I was like oh so Jonathan's entrance his butt cheeks were out in the wind and he had a face reveal which was so fun creative never been done before haven't seen that one haven't seen that one either they said they couldn't do it and now they're doing it and now they're doing it great honestly for ABC to be down to show a little butt cheek I'm like let's go well to be fair he was it was boxed out on the show you're so right it was boxed out on ABC yeah not in real life no in real life I saw it all right yeah honestly that's giving you an idea of you know before you can see the face you're like look at these muscular butt cheeks there you go he had a better butt than I did so honestly and most men do and most men do and it's TR offensive and it is so offensive I put in so much work on my butt and no one they don't do anything great the boys do nothing except sit around all day long and then they just magically have a better butt have like the plumpest cheeks it's so I mean i' let you in the secret but I can't men are just blessed with physical things cuz their brains take a little bit longer to develop that is is so incredibly accurate the frontal lob still developing the frontal you're still stewing stilling okay good yeah I let you know when I'm fully done as long as you're aware of it and you acknowledge it I I'm I'm I'm succumbed to the the truth um you had maybe one of the steamiest makeouts with Sam and that I've seen of a contestant in a long time I was screaming I was cheering for you did your what did your mom and your brother say um they were very um surprised they were yeah and I think my mom was more concerned with the fact that I leaned in first she was like wait why did you lean in is that my daughter and I was like I was dying I think it was like on episode to one of the makeups was on like the little mini couch and I was I was I was you got me standing up the way that all the men do for sports I was like that's your sport this is my sport show can you can I get a picture of Sam I want to get a visual reference um Sam n was the one that you watched on the one-onone Sam yeah Sam M M M M Sam M they get confusing was the one that did the um the the New Zealand um freaking Tower jump they you were making out with him the entire episode it was just one big make out session that's all it was oh would you want me not to make out with my look at the man I support it no I was just I all I saw was just making out one of 25 boyfriends right but there was definitely as far as like the time allotment I feel like Sam got a little bit more Sam definitely is getting screen time Sam got some screen time Sam's getting screen time for sure shout out Sam I'm just I'm just I'm just telling what what I deserve no no no no and I and I and I understand that yeah I just okay got it I know I would I know which one so he was um gurnie wrapped up no no no no no Jonathan was um Jonathan was wrapped up Jonathan was wrapped up and he was uh Lacross member oh I like oh we have to talk about him okay do you want to do you want to share share with the class I I won I'd never seen someone handle a lacrosse stick in heels before that was crazy thank you like there there's something to be said about like okay I think I know what someone looks like to plays that sport no I do not wrong incorrect you had Jonathan as your visual my assumption was wrong yeah I actually really liked that banter that was like the most like like genuine uh like it felt very real and it was a very wholesome moment so wholesome it was also like a nice cool down from like some of the drama that had happened in the episode earlier where I was like oh my God what a nice man if I'm wrong is he the one who I like like gave like a double take to who asked her how she was doing yes he asked me how my day was going that very sweet it was the first time I heard a question and I go wow what a great normal but also like conversation I know that there are cameras here but how are you doing I know and that's the thing with Jonathan he's always so intentional at the conversation and he always checks in on me which I loved like he was always just taking care of me you know yeah it's so sweet I I I want to get into like the guys but I don't know when you want to chat in that oh yeah no no no yeah hold hold yeah hold your hold your opinions hold your opinions on the boys no uh like unheard of the boys and like I know how way she handled it go okay go ahead you know now or later go ahead now yeah okay I'm so impressed with you thank you like I'm wild like when I was watching the show I don't know what my expectations were but there's something to be said about like guys in a room together yeah just breeds chaos chaos chaos yeah and like there's just so many especially like new guys who like I mean not that a bunch of friends that like have inside jokes would be easier that's its own like like bucket of challenges but like something about navigating everyone's quirks while they're all trying to like obviously present whatever version of themselves they think is going to work best but also they're all humans is that something that you had any experience in before like obviously have guy friends but at that scale like do you feel like you gravitated towards hanging out with more guys or women when you were younger yeah I think grow growing up I definitely gravitated towards more guys than women just because I grew up with an older brother and so I just always felt so comfortable with like that banter and that teasing so I think when I was growing up I always just like loved the guy groups but obviously like as I got older and like um in college in my adult life I realized that my female friendships are a lot more meaningful than my male friendships that I had at that point in my life just because um it's just it's it's a it's a different perspective you're your adult life I think and women just like operate a little bit differently yeah and so that's not to say I don't have male friends I still do but I definitely have a lot more female friends now in my everyday life than I than I used to have I mean I think I have more female friends than I guys this just it's difficult with guys as adults for them to like continue to like slice off a real piece of them and and like be vulnerable with that that's the thing I don't think men are as vulnerable no he's like I admit it and that's the thing and with females like it just comes so naturally and they're so empathetic yes that's not always the case like there's transactional surface layer [ __ ] and like something be said about like but you broke through all of that like with many of these guys I was like wow she's like navigating their their nerves and the way that they're presenting themselves so well yeah I mean I won't take all the credit I think a lot of them just came into this journey kind of knowing that they needed to open up a little bit and all I did was kind of provide that like environment for them to like feel feel like safe enough to do that and so I was happy that they felt safe enough to do that um but I think like I won't take all the credit like they definitely like did the work to get there too so right I feel like it should be a requirement for all of the men to do like a little bit of therapy beforehand so they they started to be you know like a little more cooked you know I think everyone could benefit yeah and it just set you for success I mean the the the scene that comes to mind is the veteran Marcus Marcus I I don't know like maybe he had had experience asking for some time when he got upset before maybe it wasn't the first time but that would be I think the the last thing that most guys would think to do if they were like actually getting upset and like needing a moment and there was something to be said about just like one you making him feel comfortable enough to do it it happened and then it came back and like he felt safe it was such a yeah that was a full circle moment that I was not expecting to have watching any reality TV oh yeah I think in that moment I really just wanted to check in on him and I could I could see how much he was like struggling with it and in my everyday life like I try very hard to provide that space for a lot of my friends and just like a lot of the people in my life because I think it's important to do that um and it helps you get to know the other person a lot better and so in that moment like I really just wanted to be there for him and maybe he hasn't had that before and so yeah I was happy that he like tried to open up in that moment do you think you're EMT and like PA background probably helps contribute to that as well too like being such an empathetic person oh of course I think it's definitely helped me navigate like hard conversations that you have to have right with your your patients and stuff um it's not always like the easiest conversations um and so I think it helps however I think I still do have a lot of work to be had in that area I can get like kind of uncomfortable sometimes too in my own skin and in those conversations when somebody's telling you something very deep I think for me I need a little bit of time to process before I can respond with something but yes definitely having a medical background and working with patients and dealing with those conversations has helped me um navigate that a little bit better can you actually explain the role of a physician's assistant because I feel like before I like saw that as like your career path or whatever I was like oh wait I don't even think I realize that that was a job like just being someone who's so outside the medical field yeah so a physician assistant is somebody who basically goes to school for around 2 to three years um and then you go straight into either a residency or straight into um the field that you want to work in and we can um diagnose we can treat we can prescribe medications and all of that for our patients but you have to work in a environment where there is a physician like in the building or on call so that if you have a difficult case in which you haven't seen so much um you can consult with them and they can kind of help with the treatment plan and all that stuff um so and that's kind of where like the physician's training of like seven plus years whatever is kind of comes into play but with all of like the more um all the other stuff that maybe physician assistants are seeing every day you can kind of handle that on your own oh my God she's Beauty and she's brains can I ask like a somewhat personal question yeah so I think in the show you covered your relationship with your dad or the lack there of in certain big important categories how do you not let that stand in the way or let that like I feel like prevent you from either thinking that a guy has your best intentions or feeling like you can trust or interface at such like an emotionally intelligent level yeah I think for me growing up you know he was kind of in my life when I was really really little and then just not super present and then at one point our communication was just cut off and so I just kind of dealt with the fact that like he wasn't going to be part of my life and so when that communication cut off it wasn't like I necessarily lost something it was more okay now I can move on to the next like phase of my life what age was that um I was probably like 1819 at the time yeah and so I I never really felt like I was missing something per se but it definitely has affected my relationships with men in the past you know subconsciously just not really going after the right men because um I never had a role model of love and never seeing what love really looked like and never getting that from a father f you definitely take inches for Miles when it comes to um everyday dating and so I tend to end up in relationships that I shouldn't be in um but in terms of my relationships with these men and like trusting them and all that stuff um I wouldn't say that I have trust issues just because it doesn't appear like it and I won until somebody gives me a reason to like I can definitely pick up on when somebody's lying and and Etc but I usually like to start off on like a fresh foot with everybody but your your decisiveness when you didn't want someone around anymore was so good I didn't realize you could just send someone home J was like can she do that do that honestly I didn't know if I could I loved it you're like and I'm going to walk you out now have a great life I'm so sorry that was amazing he was being rude as [ __ ] and I was like please someone excuse this dude and you know though he handled it so well cuz like when that happened I was like oh I was like I there's possibility that this goes very poorly and his reaction but he handled I feel like very well funny enough I wasn't even seeing all the stuff he was like saying and doing in the house like with the boys and stuff I didn't see that competitiveness I just in that moment was like I don't want to kiss you and I think that should be a sign that this isn't going anywhere so should probably but you trusted yourself that's great that's great yeah I I think when you know you kind of know oh my God I feel like the gut feeling in this process is probably so helpful many do we know like do we know that they know and then they ignore it and do whatever it is that they like like are afraid of anyway and it's like you know you are smart enough you know this you're hearing this for sure how did you break out of the patterns of choosing toxic relationships because I think it totally makes sense like not having that example growing up of like what a healthy relationship looks like so like having a chaotic relationship feels normal and fine because it's familiar so how did you eventually break out of that trial and error for sure I don't think I really realized IED it until pretty recently that I this feeling of comfortability and familiarity that I have with these guys that I um that I that I say to myself is like oh a good feeling is is not necessarily a good feeling it's just a familiar feeling right it's comfortable yeah it's just comfortable and that doesn't mean that it's good for me and so I don't really think I came to that conclusion until um really um recently in my adult life and it's something that I just am working through I mean my previous very very toxic relationship I didn't break it off he broke it off and thank God that he did because if he hadn't I don't know if I would have had the balls to do that leave yeah yeah to leave and once I did it just turned everything into perspective I was like wait a second I was miserable the whole time why this yeah he Wasing this and that and I was letting myself down and do and and adhering to all of these when these like expectations that he put on me when I didn't need to be right um so I think it was one I realized how badly I had been treated in that relationship I was like I'm never doing that again right it helps put things into perspective I feel like yeah yeah has he has has the toxic I know you differentiated too that Matt who is now on the show is not the toxic ex that you refer to has he reached out at all since any of this process since Joey's season he did reach out he sent me a whole long apology letter um oh he did he did he did did it feel genuine interesting it felt genuine in the sense for him but it's funny because well because for me I loved that only it was the best he could do yeah for him no no no I will I will say it's just like I think I had waited that whole relationship and after that relationship too for a period of Time for That apology letter because I knew how badly I had been treated but then like a year had passed and I'd moved on and I'd done all these other things I done myself work and healed and so when I was sent that it was like it's bringing up old wounds and it's not really for me right it's for you to get the guilt off of your back because you're not saving me of anything I know that I was right you feel like you need to write this yes for some reason now for your reason so literally it was like beneficial for him like yes it was a nice gesture towards you and like you know maybe gave you some closure or whatever but you're right it was healing for him to do for him and also and I'm thinking in the worst possible way here but like he's probably saving ass to a degree of just like well I should probably say something nice right God forbid the person who has a lot of people who are listening to her tells her side of the story my god well maybe that's not it I'm just I'm I'm asserting this I don't know and I won't discount anything but I will say like it just wasn't for me and I wasn't like it's not like oh my God it was like the biggest piece of news that I had been waiting I I honestly liked the message and was like good luck that's Department with the thumbs up thank you so much and also I feel like every time you see one of those those just long apologies there's something in there my heart in my ass anytime I get a long chunk of no but even beyond that like there's like halfway through the way that like they remember something is so twisted and weird you're like that's okay that's actually that to come up what huh that's how you think in the middle of it I was like that yeah like I'm mad again no yes yes and like that would like piss me off even more really you're so right you're so right so as you navigate this process currently 12 boyfriends what are kind of like the core pillars of a part part that you have as like your top priorities yeah I would say somebody that shows up for me um when I need them to somebody who is willing to listen to me and not only listen to me and just like sitting there and listening to me but like actually hearing hearing me and understanding my perspective on something and and and taking that and kind of um taking note of that so that you can understand and me as a person you know um somebody who's empathetic somebody who um knows what it's like to be in like a true partnership not someone who's going to like Strongarm me or make me do things that I don't want to do but somebody who truly understands what a true partnership is all right Sam's out Sam's out yep he's G gone yeah next you don't have to react to that this is Jeremy speculation gone I was screaming at him he was so mad he also like brought his laptop out onto the couch as if he was was going to like work and like half watch of course he he literally didn't look at his laptop once this man was locked in I I wanted to climb up that Tower and throw him off I was so angry like there you have every signal in the world she's even telling you but also just look your one-on-one dates have been so crazy adrenaline oh my God they're insane I feel like you know like the the helicopter tour is is like as as like adrenaline filled as a lot of like the seasons go but this season it's been freaking like backto back skydiving the race sing that wasn't oneon-one but you go on a DAT with two feet on the ground the whole [ __ ] time that would be my requirement I'm like if you want me to be on your show my feet will will remain on the ground and if you would have remain liking me you'll keep my feet on ground oh my God just thought I was definitely like Kicking and Screaming coming out of that plane yeah but it had been something that I'd been wanting to do for a while right not something you want to do in front of the world I well maybe maybe you want to do it in front of the world maybe you do that would if there was the pressure the added pressure of being like o everyone's going to see me decide to not do this like that would make me do it more I think I think if I want to [ __ ] myself I want to do it in the private of my own home I meisten for me it was like I'm not dying on National Television so you're so every safety precaution being you're so right this is the safest environment possible that you could Skydive you are so absolutely correct that's kind of what I was if you were to survive if there was a small injury i' definitely want to get hurt doing it while it's being videotaped for the world to see it's way way better than like you know the tourist trap that you decide to go to yeah I get it um I'd love to talk about like obviously being the first Asian-American lead in all of Bachelor Nation Nation history um so I'm half Japanese and you are Vietnamese correct how has it changed how you navigate being The Bachelorette kind of knowing that you I mean there's I just feel like I've talked to so many other Asian girls who are so excited to see someone who represents themselves or they see them in on national TV doing this yeah I think for me I really went into it wanting to be as authentically myself as possible and whether that's incorporating my culture or the Vietnamese language and my mom and my my brother and my aunt and stuff like that um and Vietnamese food like I just wanted to portray it as as authentically to my everyday life as possible right and so even in that intro package with my family like my mom is trying to speak English and I was like it's okay you don't have to do that because that's not what we do in everyday life and I wouldn't want to just put something on TV just because it's TV they can find the subtitles yes they can find it there's someone within this franchise that is going to be able to caption this for you it's your intro package it's not their intro package for you it's like it's yours yes so I tried really hard for push for things like that to just be authentic and it's funny also like we were when we were cooking for that intro package they were like should we just do like sandwiches and whatnot I'm like you would never you would never make me a sandwich like a ham and cheese sandwich on everyday like life and so I was like we should just have Vietnamese food like we usually would um so things like that you know I really pushed hard for so it sounds like but this like vietnames was very much part of your culture growing up hugely so my I mean my mom immigrated over here so I'm first generation and so she did so much to try to instill like her culture in me and I think I still have so much learning to do too just because as a kid I really pushed it away and I was like so shy from it because it was so different um and you know when you're in Boston uh I lived in New Jersey when I was growing up the cultural center of of the world right right and I lived in a very Suburban like not diverse town at all Jersey yeah so it was just I was very different and so I tried so much to push that part of me away and it wasn't until like my college life and my adult life where I started embracing it a lot more um because it felt I felt a shame to push a part of me away like why was doing that and and so now I feel so proud to embrace everything that it um that it brings me and and to continue to learn so much more about it I know you've already kind of touched on um how you know people are I mean the the thing about being online like I've been online for 12 13 years now and like I can just never make everyone happy it's just something that I've had to that I still fight with on a daily basis let me be so clear like I still haven't like fully been able to digest that and really like let that sink in but I feel like you probably have gotten so many incredible powerful messages from Asian girls so many and every time it just brings me to a place because I know exactly how they're feeling in that moment because I grew up not having Asian representation in the media all that much anytime we were in a TV show or a movie we were the side character and some caricature of ourselves rather than just simply living and being us being a main character and simply just showcasing who we are um and so to be able to kind of do that now and then like see how much it touches people like I completely understand it all and it it just makes me so happy that I get to do that that's so nice like even even being on YouTube and like obviously it's like a you know a different career but I I get similar messages and it's it's so nice I'm only half asian and I even hate the way that I use the word I'm only half agent but to be even just a little bit of representation is really nice so I'm sure you get the nicest War message well it's nice to also uh be able to tell people that they're not alone yeah you know I think that's kind of what I felt growing up and so now to be able to kind of spearhead that Community for people to feel like they're they're normal and they're not alone and like they can just Embrace their differences like that makes me happy and Bachelor Nation fan base goes crazy crazy they go absolutely wild are you planning on joining any of like the watch parties or anything as like the season progresses not right now I don't think so so I don't know usually I try to stick with my friends and family like they'll throw little parties here and there so yeah I was going to ask who you're watching with every week yeah my family most of the time um well not not my family cuz I haven't but my friends in Miami cuz every I'm usually in Miami but this week I'm going to Boston so I'll be with my brother so we'll watch it together are you just going to cover his eyes anytime you Smooch someone just be like look away oh he cover his own eyes I don't need to do that he older younger older he's N9 years older than I am years very protective older brother wow yes oh my God I'm so excited to see more of your family I feel like it's going to be so wholesome I'm so excited being protective times that many guys that's tough that's tough oh my God if I have 25 boyfriends imagine I know how mad I was I can only imagine how mad he was what are you doing no literally um did you have any did any of the bachelorette girlies take you into their wing to give you any advice I know like the turnaround though was pretty quick going from Joey season to yours so did anyone give you any like pivotal advice going into this um so like when I was going through the process and interviewing and everything and I knew that it was up um for grabs I had called Michelle young and she talked to me just about like I really wanted to see her perspective on everything and um and also just being a person of color I wanted to see how she felt with the fan base see if it was worth it and and everything I just wanted to prepare myself for um for everything good bad ugly yeah yeah yeah exactly The Good the Bad and the Ugly that's that's amazing yeah um I heard there's also a group chat yes and you're in the group chat now yes I'm officially in The Bachelorette group chat Caitlyn Bristo added me in um and it's a group chat with all of the previous bachelorettes um oh my God wait that's so cug very very supportive group chat yes is it a popping group chat um no not not like we're not C we're not testing it every day I think that would be chaotic but definitely messages of support oh that's so nice WhatsApp or iMessage uh iMessage literally I said the same thing everyone has an iPhone that's shocking yes is it I feel like I feel like in the same age know it's like 80% of the world uses Android Jeremy where's your Android well I would never exactly I would never exactly he just being a hater to be a hater yeah I am yeah I am okay so I'm going to be so honest our little game that we put together is more for Jeremy and because I know you can't get anything away I'll watch I'll say he I'll just make faces I mean listen like that's what we're hoping for so we can overanalyze everything oh my gosh I'm so excited so we're going to make some predictions um we're going to make some predictions for hometowns our top two and then who could potentially be at the altar with you at the end okay interesting and do we should do this together right like we're going to have we're not going to have a split you know I think we're going to have the same top four though maybe I mean if you're if you're put put go ahead go ahead to um okay so Austin is that yeah that's mullik guy yep see this is how he rememb also how do we feel about the mullet I like it you like the mullet I like a good mullet front party back it's classic I'm not sure yet um Devin gonna be honest he kind of like it was it was an arc with him really had a character Arc and Jeremy's saying that after only seeing one one episode so it's like if you had seen it from the beginning like Devon's Chara Arc he really turned things around for me I think okay after the last episode he was very sweet and normal and I was like normal this so he's just been like in the center of so much beef and I feel like you know it's hard not to form form feelings for sure always positive and negative you know yeah the beef the beef is real the beef is real remind me which one lacrosse is that Jonathan Jonathan is lacrosse move just move Jonathan over I say just get your favorite in there Jonathan with the butt cheek get in there yeah get butt cheeks over there um and then shall you zoom in actually on the guy faces I should do this with my friends and family yeah you definitely need to make them do this also I feel like Sam M will for sure make it to hometowns the sexual tension between you and Sam m is coming through the screen he was the dude that couldn't understand that maybe that his date was UN want to herself off the to never really got it and I'm like wondering are you with me he he figured it out eventually we had to move on and and I'm so mad at him um okay well can he make it to top four yes but for Aesthetics only also I've lured his Instagram obviously and his dogs are so cute so for the sake of the dogs I'm hoping he makes it to Hometown so we can see more of the dogs I like that we're we're basing the guys off of their dogs too I do feel like that's a representation of someone's personality as well too I'm like what kind of what kind of dog did you choose for yourself someone shows up with a peacock or some weird like fet I'm not I'm not doing it okay love a feret you love a feret I love AET but I'm look I'm looking for for things that I understand I don't understand Jeremy also has a thing about how he feels as if the other Jeremy in the world are typically not good guys you're the only good Jeremy well I didn't even say that he's also rehabbed as a as a new and improved Jeremy some context would be nice he used to be [ __ ] boy Jeremy and now he's now he's married Jeremy yeah I feel like d they all go through that though all the Jeremy go through that maybe that's what I'm saying I think just on their own time maybe I just have met so many Despicable J jemy so far has been has been so normal and nice as well too he's not going to pass from me he's not not yet he's been fine he hasn't gotten his standout moment yet as well for air time so I feel like us as viewers we don't know that much about Jeremy yet all right who's the vet the vet is Marcus Marcus could come Marcus Mar okay that's one way that's one way you could have said that Marcus could come maybe maybe maybe show maybe maybe hold on hang on hang on I also feel like Devon might make it to hometowns too he seems like a really good listener um yeah um okay yeah maybe maybe maybe uh who was the guy that got hurt playing rugby that Marcus was marus that was Marcus babe get your story line straight that's right you were so locked in I don't know how there are so many guyss this is an honest review it's funny I'm looking at this list I'm like there's not enough guys I want Marcus over there you think Marcus is going to make it over there okay wait hang on hang on hang on just wait just wa what about the ex I yeah I think Matt I think there's no way that Matt doesn't make it to hometowns because like that would be for him to pay for his whole get his but Hometown he'll be at home he's already there yeah but will that does that me also mean that Jen will be there too though you know uh well but to be fair he could be there thas has truly spent more time with all these other men than you and again you don't have to react to that uh was Thomas the guy that was um asked to leave by the dude is now no longer with us yes he was the one that were thing and he was like you know what that color looks great on you buddy in the yellow and we were like D I was like damn ate him up I there's something about Thomas doesn't do it for me Thomas I don't personally I think Thomas is not gonna make I I think he's a really nice guy yeah and tatto are really nice super I I don't know my thoughts on tattoos but um no no he showed up to to rugby and I was like I was like okay go off Thomas on the tattoos Thomas the tattoos Jonathan with the butt Thomas with the tattoos um yeah I'm not sure with Thomas I'm just not sure there um and then uh there was some guy actually somebody was one hell of a rugby player um John M was it John yeah yes yes joh can get him from me if you want to just throw him over there yeah so I personally think he was MVP but I did like Dylan's got some style though that I like Spencer is the pet portrait entrepreneur that's adorable you want him as a great friend I don't know if I want to I'm not sure personally if I want to marry him but I I would like to hire him yeah like he's he's a guy who like I don't mind if my wife's in the DMS with him at think it's he was tall though when he I was like I was like come on tall King very tall he's probably like 63 that's pretty tall okay uh pretty tall J saying 64 is like um so I only get one more I need more men okay more men more men there aren't enough okay so maybe Marcus is not um I think Deon fine no I think what about atin I see I just I just haven't connected enough with Austin yet to have to be to be rooting for him but I I do I do like him and his M as well too but I also like I mean JN was nice on the field John was nice on the field too and listen John could be nice with it in the relationship as well too but I kind I don't think that's what you wanted to say what I don't think that's what you wanted to say at all really say I think I think we know what she wanted to say um okay so you want to do Devon I think I think Devon I think it's be Deon yeah all right Devon oh my God we have to make Cuts again to get to the next round can you imagine how I felt you're so right oh oh my God so funny I mean at a certain point it's like hey can we make an arrangement here guys maybe like nights and weekends or holiday I'll just take all of you and we'll we'll SP separate residences like divorced parents right exactly um okay thoughts oh my God see this is just so hard I feel like four episodes in this is really hard she's going to go to the fantasy with Sam obviously that's that's we've basically already seen this again don't react don't move your face but if you don't go to the the fantasy SE say I'm going to die oh my God I need that love story to play out in the fantasy s they've tried to remake the fantasy suite on every step of every date and just like I know I know I know like I know how Sam kisses you we have to go back and watch the stripping episode you do we have to watch the stripping episode stripping episode yeah exactly ex the stripping episode is the one before this one they all strip they all strip they all strip except for Sam M which he God I [ __ ] who's producing this show like every every girl ever like and then what we'll do is they literally started with a disclaimer did you see like the trigger warning at the beginning being like men are going to Bear it all and like start stripping off clothing trigger there's like gyrating gting God dying my mom sent me that in the family group chat she's like what's happening tonight I was like the episode's not airing tonight mom don't watch itny to skip this one for our podcast we literally like you cuz your mom listens to these and you'll be like not this one oh you'll be like feel freid to my my dad just fully doesn't even listen to the episodes anymore because sometimes you know we we things that are just PG PG Dad yeah honestly PG dad I and I look back now that we're married I go thank God truly truly truly truly truly truly some things are just meant to be kept in the podcast room in the in exactly I firmly believe I don't need to know all the things that have ever happened or will ever happen with my unborn child I don't need to know oh oh I see for you yeah in the yeah I that yeah keep that wait hang on after hometowns is it three for Fantasy Suites next it's usually three and then two and and then two and then one that's okay usually usually three you're you're you're you're over analyzing okay let's let's eliminate to make this easier for on us because God I don't even know how you do this this would be so crazy to I love this process so much okay okay let's knock someone I think what tell us babe share with the class Jonathan Sam well okay hang on we're only knocking one out okay well I'm telling you where I'm getting I'm telling you where I got hang I already know okay okay so we have to send one person home uh so hard it's so hard because we could watch one more episode and things will change you know what mean so it's so hard which one in my female body do I want to have sex with my female Persona yeah I'm so intrigued by this I mean Sam throw throw Sam m in there de's out for me but you like Devin I get it see I don't even know if see this is so hard okay Sam M also why is Matt's pixer just like him in like a banquet hall where everybody else is is likeo he didn't have his like he didn't do product like he didn't do like the Press day where they all go take the photos for the profiles and the biographies he was a late ad because he was like hello let me come back inand I'm in New Zealand let me in that is very funny that you got that photo of him right um did you take that picture I did not take that photo imagine that would have been crazy I don't think why but like I don't think that Matt needs we what what fantasy we had that fantasy okay I'm going Sam Matt Jonathan Dev de you keeping Matt in there yeah no I'm keeping Matt in the way that she said Matthew when he finally got around to being ready for something I I got okay I I I get this when he used the L word too I was like oh my God was that as shocking for you as it yeah I didn't know that he was in love with me did he not say that when you guys dated that was the first in love he was like oh we were in love we weren't in love at that time right no like literally I felt with like your body language like Matthew like it was like why is all this coming out now I I was very very shocked I like so he came and professed his love but also but it makes you blend your worlds of like wow you've been this person you know this experience you have these these these you have so much context well that's the biggest shock is like I'm in this world now it's my world I have all these men I'm dating and now my past is here familiar it was weird yeah very weird I will say though if he wanted to he would and uh getting in touch with a publicist or or being a producer and then flying your ass out to Fiji not the most convenient of places not the cheapest tiet New Zealand not Fiji same so close same thing I'm get confused of course with your other um well your former life oh oh your love Island do you know how hard it is to be a married man with the reality TV is going strong in this household it's crazy okay um I I feel really good about Jonathan Sam and Sam me too that's who I was gonna say as well yeah oh my God this is so hard I love this this is this is an this is an easy choice but it's here's the thing I think it should be Jonathan which means it should be Sam I'm sorry hang on sorry walk us through that logic real quick because I think there's too much in common I think he uh probably feels safe in like not like a sexy way but like this is I know too many lacrosse guys not interested Sam okay and we're gonna work on Sam in his ability to maybe be a little bit more observant of in the yeting off building Situation yeting off building I love that yeting off Tower but as you say you know it's really like a pro you got to like finish that last 10 20% you got to like yeah what we always say is like when you date someone you want them to be like almost done cooking but not true because you don't want them to be cooked to somebody else's temperature exactly they want you cooked at your temperature so we're always like okay still cooking still cooking but like being getting closer to being done and I think Lauren might be realizing I'm still cooking for a long time yeah he's for sure still cooking that's okay we had to uncook a little bit and then recook in a different that's kind of reassuring to hear yeah that the cooking is not all done once you get married yeah there's more you're always cooking you stay cooking oh I and and people should cook more wait did you say also too that you were the cook of the house I was the cook of the house on I was cooking all the time L I was making spring rolls I was making fried rice they were just like easy meals to make for everybody and I was bored sometimes well not bored but like what are you going to do so I'm like I'm going to cook yeah wait I love that it was so fun if if you were to pick your favorite feet dish whether you like to cook it or not okay what would it be it's this thing called BHO and it's like um it's like a rice noodle pancake dish with like a lot of fish sauce and like your protein of choice so sometimes it's shrimp sometimes it's like marinated beef whatever it is it's very delicious okay and are there any plot like spots specifically that make the best Vietnamese food that we should always keep in mind not that I know of and like I don't live here no back in Boston in Boston my mom's house or Jersey yeah I was going to say like the home cook the home cook is always I've had somebody explain to me like why like certain like like with Japanese and Chinese food like because it was like someone left and did a great job of like teaching other people how to make that like in a commercial capacity that's why we're all more familiar with it in America yes well here's the thing it's like those commercialized Vietnamese food places are the worst like you don't want to go to something that like looks aesthetically pleasing you got to go to those kind of R hole in thewall cafes it's called like f79 or whatever it is super super unamerican ised those are the best places right R right I do love a f79 yes they're best they're really just the best um we I've got a favorite tie spot that also looks like a little terrifying on the outside but best high food best food it's like the grandma and the grandp like like cooking that's the best they didn't the kid that takes over it's their job to try and make it like the Enterprise but like they're worried about the food okay so say we go we finish we follow through jini's uh predictions are totally 100% correct and we end up with a um a beautiful ring what's it going to look like I don't know oh you don't have like a you don't have an idea of kind of like your your dream ring okay well if I were to get to a point of my life where I wanted to get engaged um well yeah of course I have like a Pinterest board and everythingin Bo look like um it's a gold band it's um an oval ring that has a little hidden Halo on the bottom o that oh the little one at the at the bottom yes like at the bottom of the the yeah that's my dream I think and if not that so actually I had a different dream ring before that one but then I realized I don't know what I want yet so I also would love an emerald yeah ring yeah I love the emerald shape it's so nice yeah so so nice Okay the Pinterest board continues to the wedding what does a wedding look like if I were to have a wedding um I actually don't know I I don't have a Pinterest for wedding yet I think I see a lot of things here and there that I really like but no idea yet well okay maybe like something like that was not a jump cut we did not edit between that there was seconds was like wait a second I I know what I kind of like um is I always see those um weddings in Italy and it's like off of some Lake and it's absolutely beautiful yes like very t that's something that I was like I might like that oh my God honeymo got it yeah H we're going to Italy uh in like a month I know we're so excited it's where are you going we're going to Italy and then we're going to do Rome Capri and um a spa on the mie coast wow Capri is beautiful have you been I studied abroad in Florence for like two months and we traveled all over Italy we went to like um Lake gardo which is similar to Lake Kom we went to Capri um we did San jamano which is like a very tusin Countryside um Rome beautiful absolutely beautiful but Capri so fun oh my God I'm so excited I've been to Italy but I've never been to two of the places we're going and also you've never been to Italy with me and I've also never been to Italy with any money I was broke you're different tax bracket I think like our average like hostile was $20 a night oh my God that's terrifying and that was the top of the budget that's terrifying that's terrifying I Liv I love that you studed abroad that is so much fun so fun so how old would you have been for that I was 21 I think yeah I was junior year of college was 21 freshly 21 and then to do PA what what do you go to school for for that like what's like the first I studied molecular biology you can study anything my God you can study anything and you picked that yeah well not anything anything but has to be like sciencey or you have to do like class oh my God it was tough as [ __ ] it it was easy up until I had to take like a very Advanced organist no I loved OEM I aced every single oam class my favorite class the oam I love like the fact that I'm going to have to be the math tutor in this house is so it's not going to be me math doesn't do it for me I I don't know anything about math organic chemistry so different though there's no math in that this sounds like somebody who's good at math but like but like a sleep good sleep good at math no OK is like he's like figuring out little puzzles of like the molecules I'm aware and and I know and I would do terribly awful well I want you to know that I am am not away and I'm impressed and also puzzles math math all over the place so much math so hard I don't know so impressive hey I enjoyed it I mean I love that VI truly beauty Beauty and brain also molecular biology or chemistry was it molecular biology not easy that's not cooking that was chemistry not no no chemistry was tough though I wasn't a big fan of chemistry okm is different than chem see that's like the thing that someone would say that is just knows more no the way that like my brain I'm I'm on the outside of this conversation what's going on yours just like taking me back to my college course I love it I'm impressed would you undergrad uh University of Wisconsin Madison Badgers I'm a badger wow yeah Rockford Illinois was very close to that oh yeah where did you go uh Kentucky okay Kentucky but I looked um I looked at Madison actually yeah did you it's a great Party City great party C huge party city well that's what I wanted no but like that's a great undergrad go do that more school yes yes exactly and also like there's something about like those like cities in the midwest that are yes they're the Midwest but it's a college town so it's like very blue outside of the I don't know it's it's a good experience cute campus I know that's like the one thing that I wish that I had done is like cute like college town yeah it's like a campus like I don't I can't imagine going in a city to my undergraduate I went to University like in downtown Toronto so it was like City Vibes um Jeremy went once and he compared it to handmaid tail no hand would have looked it series but that was like a very creepy Series yeah and everyone's like dark and depressed and looks like they're being like controlled it was literally just cold it was literally just cold and winter when we went so I was like what do you expect from everyone lost their puppy that morning I'm not kidding it was awful anyways can't believe you're such a bubbly person I can't imagine there I know guys it was fine it was fine and like she was like and that's that was my my first dorm jail okay listen it wasn't the nicest of residences okay but humble beginnings humble beginnings it's in the middle of downtown like Toronto it's like maybe this is why you're so bright because you had such a dark she had to find some light that's for damn sure no I mean I I literally started YouTube because I was looking for some light there we go okay I believe it now Toronto dark Town not going yeah no Toronto is great I want but Toronto in the warmer months is wonderful okay I honestly I could believe that yeah it's got a lot to offer in the warmer months when you're not um freezing your ass off anyways Jen thank you so much for coming on the Pod um where can people find you and the show Instagram and Tik Tok at gentan X that's it great that's all I've got thank you great get thank you and it's uh I watch on YouTube TV but it's also on Hulu the next day yeah the show is on um Hulu if you have Hulu live and you can watch it on ABC right at 8m on Mondays and then the next day on Hulu Pacific 8800 p.m. Pacific 800 p.m. Pacific is it Pacific Pacific right Pacific and Eastern and 700 p.m. in central remember like the 87 Central like every TV show 87 Central they say that is that a thing I don't know you're when you can watch you got the prime time spot that's impressive yeah du love it so much do she's Beauty and brain I well I know this now yeah I know so funny um Jen thank you so much and we're so excited for you and we will be revisiting we're looking forward a double day we're looking forward if there is a double day there is a double day we may or may not I know I know oh my God I'm so I'm so excited for you um can't wait to see the rest of the journey unfold and we'll have everything G related Link in the description and J thank you foring thanks for coming appreciate it thank you thank you for having me [Music]