Episode #404 - Interview with Molly Mesnick

all right let's bring her in uh you saw her first on Jason mesnik season of The Bachelor then this past Monday when Jen's season of the bachette visited Seattle it is Molly mesnik Molly how you doing I'm great how are you it's been a long time since we've talked I was gonna say it was preco right or did I have did I have you guys on during covid I don't remember I don't know it's it's at least four or five years yeah either way great to have you on um when I when I saw they were coming to this year I'm like I got to believe they're going to include Jason and Molly somehow and then the um Wicked date was the first date of Jen's whole season because you know they were in New Zealand and Australia nothing got spoiled online because I guess the Australians in new zealanders didn't think to contact me but uh but see anytime they're in a US city it's almost impossible for them to keep it under wraps and that one they asked you know the crowd to come out to for the wicked date so knew it was going to get out but it it's interesting we get into that and before we get into the radio date I heard you talk about this and I wanted to bring it up the the full circle moment that you had on the show on Monday because when you were on Jason season you guys had the same exact radio date for the most part right same exact date when they called and told Jason they like brought it up they're like we're thinking of doing this like radio date where the guys come in and they're on a show we've done it in season's past and Jason's like yeah you did it on ours that's and then not only that I mean you didn't even have you weren't even thinking I don't think about a radio career at that point no not at all yeah and then after that happens you dive into radio you end up doing a radio show with bender and then here you are back there on a radio show with Bender I mean it's got to be kind of surreal for you do that it is so crazy um yeah so like when we did our date you know back decades ago um Bender was hosting the date I didn't know who he was that's the first time obviously I'd ever met him because I'd never been to Seattle before so then when Jason and I got together and I moved out to Seattle he would have me fill in on the morning show from time to time just as like a notable face I guess um and so then when he needed a new co-host he called me and he's like do you want to join the show with me and I like I never in a m like I have no radio experience whatsoever but I ended up being at that station for seven years how many of those seven years did you have was Riley around was it all of it oh so she had already been born when F when I started doing the radio yeah okay now was that difficult for yeah when she was one to be because you you were on the morning show so I'm guessing you were up at 4 or 5 in the morning every day 4 AM that's actually a big reason why we never had any more kids honestly like we Riley was an angel baby I would have had like a thousand more kids if they were like her but we when it was kind of she was getting to be two and three where you think about having another kid I was like this is really complicated like I get up so early Jason Works full-time how is he gonna handle getting three kids I don't know it just made it complicated so I was like let's wait let's wait let's wait and then it got to the point where Riley's like grabbing her own snacks and she's not in diapers anymore and I'm like I am not starting over like this this is a good way of life now yeah well the other thing is even though he wasn't in the episode excuse me um was on Jason season we got to obviously meet his son Ty and we just followed him throughout the years on social media when did Tai become seven feet tall he's a giant how tall is he legit he's 65 oh geez I thought he was like 6'8 but still six5 is tall he's 65 he dwarfs us um yeah his mom's side of the family is really tall so it obviously doesn't come from Jason he is a giant yeah and he goes to Boise State right he goes to Boise he's leaving Boise oh he is he didn't love his first year there so he's um gonna transfer into udub University of Washington so does he start soon star in a couple weeks they start late they're quarters so they start late September oh gez late September okay it's funny the college thing is funny like you're so sad when they leave and then he came back for the summer and I was like oh boy we got used to you not being here it's messy it's loud there's teenage boys over all the time yeah it's crazy what was what was the deal with Boise was it just a homesickness thing or he really just he just didn't like they don't have a big Greek system as far as like fraternities and sororities and so he didn't join one and he's seeing all of his friends at every other college being in fraternities and just busy all the time with plans and parties and all that kind of stuff all the time so I think he was feeling a little jealous you know like and bored I think he just wanted more of a social scene so that's what he's doing did he when he goes to Washington is he living in the dorms or they have an off-campus apartment with live in the fraternity he's already joined a fraternity they recruit really early so I didn't realize they did it this early I thought they he's already in the Frat so he's moving in beginning of September wow okay so the other thing that happened offscreen and this was kind of funny because you mentioned it on your Instagram and I think you mentioned it when you went on Ben and Ashley this week was the fact that Riley's never watched the show until last season she watched she watched Joey season so that was her first watch the full season she like would see or two or some clips but that's literally the first time she's seen any sort of episode of the show so then when charity and Kelsey and Daisy are invited to be on this date they're hanging out in her room and that you got they they came over to your house for a dinner and drinks and stuff like that and Riley was a struck was she just like in heaven she doesn't think of us as like these people from TV right so to have people and and the funny thing is is she knew charity too because she doesn't watch Dancing with the Stars but they did one episode that was like Taylor Swift themed yeah and so she watched that so she had also just seen charity on TV and so it like blew her mind that these girls she just saw on TV are in her house has she seen your season yet or no I she has zero desire zero she doesn't even want to watch it no I mean think about it like do you do you really want to see your dad kissing a bunch of other girls no I guess not she was even want to see me kiss Jason I don't know I mean I she's older she will but she's not there yet she does not there yet yeah because I remember when you did like you were kind of doing lives on Instagram with her or not lives but posting videos and you would ask her about it the episode and Joey kissing a bunch of I think that was her her ick was that's ick to her right now yeah that's ick everything's ick um okay so let's let's talk about uh Monday's episode because it's obviously getting a lot of traction and um obviously you guys were part of the radio date so you got to meet five of the men and the whole thing with with Sam which is obviously taken off on the internet and I know you can't get into details about what happened because apparently you had said on another podcast there was something that happened that was even worse than anything you saw but I don't want to get into it you don't have to get into it but was it just just give us the gist of it was just something he said that was just as cringe as comment that should never see the light of day yeah and when he so when he said that you guys were watching the whole conversation obviously it lasted longer than the few minutes that we saw when you're watching it were you able to step in and say something or you just let them go and you guys just watched okay so when we when we had when they had aone time Jen and Sam it was actually just Jason and I in the room jubel and vendor were not in the room um he would ramble so much like we had an earpiece in and the producers are like you got to cut them off and like move on to the next question and that happened multiple times because he just keeps going and going and going which is why my take on it is that he's just a nervous talker you know I don't know what I'm curious what you think about all this well the with Sam is I don't know if you were aware of what happened probably after episodes one or two is he immediately and also his family and not just one family member two sisters a brother a brother-in-law and both his mother and father took to social media and blamed the editing on the show and saying you're not seeing the full story basically our son is not how the way he's being portrayed you're not seeing the context of all these conversations because in the early episodes It's you know Sam was being basically painted as the villain for things that he was saying and constantly going after Devon and constantly talking about how he doesn't like Devon and Devon gets under his skin but it got to be a bit too much with his family taking to social media and basically insulting the show and saying these people are evil this isn't what the way my son is and then there's that happy medium because Jen went on a podcast I think it was either chicks in the office or something and said like they asked her like I'm sure you're aware of Sam's family in him on social media she's like yeah and I think what he needs to do is take responsibility for what he says and his actions so clearly they're not on the same page and oh with with mental all taping today I'm really curious to see how that conversation goes because they haven't seen each other I'm assuming or spoken Seattle you know this you've been following the show for so long it's it's so tricky the environment's hard you know it's and not everyone handles it well um for his family just feel for his family that's really hard to sit back and watch someone you love get just destroyed by the internet so I think they're probably just being protective of them maybe it's backfiring a little bit because they look like they're being defensive yeah but I feel for them that's really hard that's really hard yeah it is it's it is a happy medium and there's just I mean you saw it on Monday and it's not like the people who have the take of man this guy just seems to be talking in memes or Bible scripture or quotes he's seen in a movie everybody thinks it and then when he you know he pulled out the I Love You card when he's talking to her later on I was like just we all had the same reaction as Jen like what where is this coming from I know I know I know I mean it was interesting they set us up before the date really saying like Sam is it she is obsessed with him and I don't feel like that is how they've made the show look up until this point so is watching it has been really surprising I'm like where's this you know crazy love for Sam I'm not seeing it so I don't know physically it's been Sam but it's every every conversation about between them has been pretty surface level they haven't really dug deep into much so I can see why producers said that like yeah she's definitely into him and it's almost like she wanted him to be in that final four she wanted him to possibly be the final guy and he just could get there because he spoke it's like he said a lot without saying a lot I mean that's exactly what it is he talked non-stop but like there was no like substance to what he was saying and I'm really proud of Jen for speaking up and being like but why but why but why you know like she needed to do that which was really good and we usually don't get that from the lead usually they just take it as like oh thank you I appreciate that and and almost fall for it but yeah he really was talking in circles and saying it was you know like everybody said it's kind of words salad is really what it was just a bunch of words obviously is when he's like you know I didn't think it was going to be you I thought it was going to be I was like oh my God where did where did that come from why did he like did she ask him did we only see that answer like what was the question that led to that or was that just in the middle of one of his room that was literally how it went like there was nothing extra that you didn't see that was cut off like that is how he answered the question well I can't even remember what the question was she was asking like why do you see yourself with me or something like that and he started off was with like I didn't think it was going to be you you know I think what he was trying to say is like I didn't think it was gonna be you and I'm pleasantly surprised with how I'm feeling about you it just didn't come out that way no not at all well it's it really is obviously we know that it's a very heightened environment um he he and his family have not handled it well now they were very vocal for there for about a week and then they have basically been shut down because I'm assuming the show told him look man you can't be saying this you can't be talking about things that did not air and clearly anything that your family is saying you told them when you got home which is right pretty much a violation of your contract so just pipe down everybody and um goes into the to the mental tonight and like I don't know doesn't come off super defensive I think that's when you ultimately look bad when you just go in and you're like you know what I screwed up I didn't handle it well then you in gratiate yourself a little bit more so I don't know we'll see we were supposed to be there tonight and we couldn't go so yeah it's one of these like it's exactly what he needs to do I just even seeing two seconds after the episode ended he filmed a video that he released on his Instagram okay I didn't see it was he apologetic or I wouldn't call it apologetic but he was just like thank you for all those whove supported me even though he's been getting crucified online he only addressed the people that have been fans and he said it was a it was a very tough environment I learned a lot but he didn't again he didn't throw any sort of really apology towards Jen or I think what he should do at the at the tell all taping and just paraphrasing here but just throw out the phrases of emotions got the best of me heightened environment I watched it back and I realized that's not me yeah um you know I I apologize for the way I came across watching myself back I see it now how it could be offputting to the audience and I hope I I hope this journey I hope I didn't ruin your journey Jen and I hope yeah things go better no hard feelings just something like that something tells me though give him and get over it and move on yeah I just something tells me though he's not gonna do that he's gonna stay defensive I I don't know he was so adamant about I mean for the first couple weeks before it looks like production stepped in and told him look you can't do this um just so adamant about it's the edit and you're not seeing the full context it's like look I get it I'm very well aware and they were there were plenty of scenes early on in the season where I could tell it was a voiceover and they were even using stuff that he had said so I just started focusing on the stuff where we saw him in an itm we see his face and we see his mouth move and there were plenty of instances where he said things you're just like no I can call you out for that because well I mean and I can here and say being in that room that whole date um there was no funny editing done at all like it honestly there was so much more that you guys anything so how how long was the talk with Jen that you guys in on the two of them probably sat there for 30 minutes maybe 30 45 minutes and we got five you got their talk was probably two minutes that you guys saw yeah and it was just Jen firing questions at him and him we gave them both cards with questions to ask each other and so they were trying to go through the cards but his answers would go on for so long they're like Molly stop him stop him like move on to the next question so we' try I don't even think we ever saw Sam ask her a question obviously that's the part that was edited out it was all it was all Jen's questions to him right yeah yeah but I did see and like this is where Jason and I got in an argument on Ben's podcast the other day I saw her light bulb go off I literally saw in her face I saw her face drop where she realizes like this guy is not giving me what I want do you remember what question it was or what answer he had said just while he's going and going and going and going and she's asking but tell me why like what specifically do you like about me you know and he couldn't articulate it and he couldn't do it later on that night during the group date after party it's it was just very very difficult for him it's been like I never watched The Bachelorette I I mean I haven't watched the show in 10 years but like I never watched The Bachelorette I think there's like maybe Jillian season I watched yeah um and I always think like oh because it's so boring there's not a lot of drama this season has been crazy yeah no it's it's been it's it's been interesting and obviously Sam has been the focal point that everybody has a comment about every single week because it's always something that he is saying his him repeating the phrase I I keep the main thing the main thing and you know Devon I don't your your name's not even in my mouth yet that's all we hear him talking about all season it just it's a bit much has has Riley has she been watching this season up till that Daye oh yeah she's all in she she is just loving the season her favorite from day one has been Grant she is obsessed with him so she came home the other night after the announce it I'm like I should have recorded it she lost her mind she's like I have to go on the show I love Grant well that was the next thing I wanted to get to so we covered enough about Sam so there were obviously four other guys on the date how long was your interaction with the other four guys I mean we filmed from 11: a.m. until 7 p.m. wow eight hours um so we we did a lot of stuff we got answers out of every guy we played little games we had listeners call in and ask questions there I mean they cut all of that out to focus on same stuff yeah that was the that was the thing that had gotten released on I think their website Bacher nation.com is first off they asked the group date for the day before the date hey come out and join us and then for that date they said we'll need people for quote unquote a radio show or a call-in aspect and so yeah it was known that that date was going to be radio show but obviously it never got you know you guys were in the studio no pictures ever got out but yeah I was wondering wait a second I thought they took calls for this but so they did just it just didn't air um it's I mean it's a tricky date because you know most of the time when they do group dates and you're having to like do something it's all in justest right you're perform in you're doing a comedy show you're dancing you're singing Whatever this was a date where they truly had to answer real questions about their real feelings with their peers in the room it's awkward it's awkward for everyone and everyone's trying to say the better answer you know so I felt for those guys that's not a fun situation to be in but they all handled it very very very well minus Sam yeah well what is did you get aone time with each of the other four or was it all in a group setting all in the group setting except for Sam okay so what were your thoughts on the other four men and then we'll save grant for last obviously we know he's an ex-bachelor now and just your thoughts on him but you know go through between um was it Devin Spencer and Jonathan Devon Spencer Jonathan yeah so um Spencer he he was just as he is on the show he's like quiet and Polished and put together um I don't have anything negative to say about him like he just I think probably the the reason maybe he got sent home is just he's just quiet and reserved you know and maybe he didn't like give enough energy towards her because she is a Spitfire right she's got so much energy um Jonathan was Far and Away the most genuine from our perspective Jason and I both walked away loving him he just did a really good job of speaking to Jen not to us and his answers felt real and not like contrived to make himself look better than the other guys in the room he also was really good about like we had time afterwards off camera just you know real quick to say nice to meet you and he was good about asking us questions you know and that just shows his character he's a good guy yeah um Devin uh he just he's like he is on the show he's just he's loud he likes to be the center of attention he at one point I did look at him while we were filming and I'm like you're a pretty smooth talker buddy but I think that's just how he is yeah no I think he said it in his intro video in the first episode episode like I'm loud I like to be the life of the party like he has made it known it's not like he he popped up and all of a sudden did this and you're like he's performing now there is a part of me that is wondering because of the battle with Sam all season they obviously didn't like each other they certainly did not get along Devon has thrown shade at Sam all season on Instagram like he's keeping it up my thing is that I'm curious if this guy was out to be the winner and it was an ego thing to win The Bachelor or he's truly I'm not saying he doesn't like Jen at all and it it just I want to win the whole thing but you know how deep is it um with their relationship I mean he told her all the right things and when they had their one-on-one date he was very open and honest about it but it's like yeah because he was in this competition with Sam all season and Sam is saying I don't understand how Jen can like this guy and also like me you just wonder is did the competition part get to him and is he performing you know you just don't know I think probably more so for guys the there's no way to avoid the competition thing right guys are naturally super competitive so I think that's probably always a factor for every guy it's how they act on that um so I think you bring up a great question is Devin super into her or not it seems like he is I think you know time only tells with this kind of stuff so yeah yeah because you like you know we all know that the real relationship starts once the cameras stop because then you actually get to know the person and he's not having to be the center of attention on a group date or a one-on-one date and the cameras aren't on him and he doesn't gain anything by saying the right things or being the center of attention when there's no show anymore so it's just like okay that's when you get to know him so we'll be you know it'll be interesting I I I just I just don't know I mean it's it's hard to say about it Jason and I just like I feel so I don't know like nervous and scared for leads these days because yeah there is that factor of like is someone just coming on to get famous or gain Instagram followers we never had to deal with that yeah you did know so there's always other intentions of people these days and how do you figure that out that's the problem and it's the one thing people ask me all the time what would I change about the show because it's pretty much the same thing every season just with a different cast we have oneone dates we have group dates we have roses it's the same thing I think there should be an episode and Alan who used to be a producer on this show went off and did other shows when he did fboy Island it was kind of the same thing you have three leads and they're dating but one of the episodes was the women got to look at the guy's Instagram pages and then for the date that day got to ask them about stuff that they saw I think the show needs to embrace social media more within the filming of the show now granted it would be a complete ripoff if they did it now because Alan already took it to another show but I I don't know if they can get away with that but I think the lead should be able to do a kind of something like that like hey earlier today I was able to scour all your in Instagram pages and I just had some questions and I want to ask you that like I think that could but I just I don't think the batrick can do it change I would make yeah and we and we know I mean everybody has spoken about what a great mind Alan had I was he there with for your season or no um he didn't work on our season but afterwards he came on the show and we saw him at at a million things yeah so okay and then the final guy that you saw that you got to spend the time with was was Grant again he just seems like he seems like such a good dude like I I there's nothing to say bad about him no he he's handsome he's articulate he's successful he's sweet I mean he's got everything I I love it I love it yeah he's I I think and you know granted I think the biggest complaint people had about him being The Bachelor is just the way it was announced all of a sudden dropped after OD like them doing it so early and just like randomly throwing it up online it was weird but yeah we you know it's no it was no Kimmel it's no GMA it's no after the fnal rose let's bring them out so people can cheer it was just it breaks online and here's our Bachelor it's like okay it's different they've never done it this way but it also gives them you know according to Robert Mills the reason they did it was because they want women to apply now knowing who the bachelor is because that's always been another thing about the show that I've always found totally bizarre is that when women are going through the application process they don't know who the bachelor is and they're not told who it is so they're like so now it's like okay I know I'm applying for Grant you're late in the process but they don't start filming for another five weeks usually mid to end of September so we're five weeks out they can have some women apply and they know they're applying that it'll get people girls there who are excited about him yeah for sure and um what was the oh the thing I wanted to ask you about the the radio date when you had the radio date on your season was that the one and I think they they showed us a clip was is that the one where Jason was asked who's the best kisser and he said you yeah I was on that date with Jillian and yeah who else was on that date do you remember I think it was Jillian and Stephanie I think it was only three oh God now I yeah I think so because Melissa had a one-on-one date and Naomi had a one-on-one date so I think it was just me Jillian and Stephanie because that episode Seattle was theod episod before hometowns yes that okay so then and we know there's four people at Hometown so five would make sense um do you rem what do you remember some of the other questions did he ever answer anything else where you were the answer where he said Molly was the answer do you remember any of the questions no I I don't no not just a just the best kisser one probably never let him live that down either that's funny yeah and I yeah because I remember I was just like yeah that's right that happened on Jason season radio day and here they are with the same guy so you filmed in you filmed in 08 right and aired in 09 yep so this was 16 years ago that you I know Riley saw that clip she's like why do you look like that I'm like well I was quite a bit younger oh my God that's funny um but yeah I mean I'm trying to think of all the time like do you remember off the top of your head the times that you have been invited back to the show what else have you guys done I know you've done things but what what you done um we well we came back on Jillian season actually this is funny I in my head the other day was trying to think like how much money have we made from being on TV and I I know it's a dumb exercise but I was just curious and I mean because we back then you got paid for so many appearances you know so I kind of was going through it like we were back on Julian season for the menal we went and talked on the after final rose with Emily Maynard and whatever her dude's name was Brad Jeff oh Brad season or Emily season Brad season yeah when he chose Emily got we went to Paradise the first season of paradise oh my God I don't even remember that y it was me Katherine Sean Dez and Chris the very first Paradise season did Jason go yeah yeah yeah okay so three couples or something and then we went on AR's season obviously when he did his little Switcheroo oh yeah yeah obviously that made sense to bring you back for that to it for did you ever do any date stuff like within season this was the first date we've ever hosted H okay yeah I I knew you guys had been back a lot and I was just like well which ones have they been in on to all the weddings that's right you were at G and you were at Gary and Teresa's wedding right okay yeah that I was so hesitant Steve I was like we hadn't done anything in so long and I've really removed myself from this world I stopped doing interviews I started saying no to interviews right after covid I was just over it and then you know Jason's like this might be fun some of our friends are gonna be there like there's the spotlight is's not on us we can just kind of stay in the back and I ended up having a good time and so luckily because of that I was more willing to say yes to going on the state had had we not done the wedding I don't know if I would have said yes I just don't like the attention I don't know what was the last thing you did before the wedding was it years ago yeah the the last Bachelor thing we did was um oh gosh it was AR's season yeah and that was what 2017 2018 something like that we did during covid we did an interview with Andy Cohen he did some show because there was nothing no new TV and so he did a show of like the history of reality TV so we did a big interview with him and I just didn't like how it went and I just felt icky and was just like I'm sick of answering these questions like Melissa's good we're good everyone's moved on like why are we rehashing this over and over and over again and so I just was I looked at Jason I'm like I'm done I'm not doing this anymore yeah yeah and it's just like it sucks because this happened in 2009 you know the whole Switcheroo thing it's like here we are in 2024 but the problem is it was such a seminal moment in the franchise it was easily it was front page of the tabloids as literally Jason at the time and he's had many Bachelors since that have passed him up but at the time like most hated man in America for what happened it was just it was awful and I guilty as charge you know contributed to that for some of my reporting back in the day but it was just just the idea of how can you do this and then Melissa became America's sweetheart yeah so it's like yeah I it's like why do we have to relive this if it was one or two years later sure but in 2024 you have to talk about Jason's decision to change his mind it's like look we've been married are you coming up on 10 years or years almost oh that's right because you got married later on that year that's right later on that year um so 15 years you've been married you've got a CH you've got a child Melissa's been married for a long time she's got I think two you know it's like I know there's no I think people want to stick like some sort of wedge in there and it's like no it's not like Melissa and I you know you and Melissa talk and keep in touch but it doesn't mean you don't like each other it just means like we we just go on our different paths yeah it's silly but this I will say like this filming experience was actually great we had a ton of fun we loved being a part of it so I think I mean we pick and choose obviously they asked us to come to the mental all they asked us to come to the AFR it didn't fit in our life and we weren't going to rearrange our life to be there so if it works for our life we will go and we will it but you know TV isn't our number one goal all right let's get to the stuff that I really wanted to talk about this podcast so I'm so in the weeds for everything about it ends with us I here's my background I knew absolutely nothing other than I knew the general idea of the story was a relationship that had domestic violence involved okay so you didn't read the book no okay but because I knew this movie was coming out this past weekend and my job is to also cover things that people are talking about in pop culture I wanted to be a part of the conversation and be able to contribute in some way even without reading the book and so that's all I knew I did not know um until after the movie that Justin directed it I did not know about I like I didn't even know this the premise I thought it was about a relationship between two people involving domestic violence and in the movie we were just going to see does she stay or does she leave I did not know about an atlas before that all that stuff but after the movie I've done as much reading as I could not of the book but went on Wikipedia read the plot of the book and and had articles already set up to read after I watched the movie of what differed from the book to the movie so that's I knew the basic premise of it so I want to ask you a couple things about it obviously you read the book when did you read it do you remember I read the book maybe beginning of the year beginning year so but and her book I just love Colleen Hoover she's an amazing writer her her books are easy reads they're quick um she hooks you right out of the gate so I read there's a sequel to this book yeah I've already read the plot for the sequel because I couldn't wait so I've read both books in three days like I couldn't down love them so you you read it at the beginning of this year probably because you knew the movie was coming out this summer you're like I just I want to have a backstory on this so here's a question when when you after you read the book and then you found out or maybe you even knew before the book because they I'm assuming they had already finished filming the movie by January and you knew that Blake Lively was playing Lily was that someone that you saw like oh I can totally see that or no and I think I read the book maybe it wasn't the beginning of this year maybe it was like I read the book before she was cast Okay so I did not have her in my mind at all but but and and at first I was like this isn't the girl I pictured this isn't who I was thinking but it it when you watch the movie it didn't bother me at all she did a great job yeah and I thought you know I did read after the fact that in the book Lily's 23 and obviously younger for the for the movie they just kept it the ages you know Justin's 40 and Blake is 36 and I did read an interview with Justin which I agree with where he said look I didn't want to do a story about domestic violence involving a 23y old I wanted to be an older adult so that made sense to me um so your overall thing about book versus movie obviously we know when you deal with a book being turned into a movie unless the movie is released in three different parts or something like that a book is just gonna have way more details it's just you're gonna be able to dive into more stuff and for sure you know with that said watching your Instagram story about it you were very pleased with the movie correct I mean I've I've read plenty of books and then seen the movie and you're always disappointed I walked out of this wanting to go right back in and see it again like they did such a good job keeping to the story in the book and even with some of the small little details and they did actually this is why I want to go see it again because I did notice a few background details that are a bigger detail in the book and so they did a good job of like placing those things it it just they did amazing it was amazing from what I read from what was what differed from the book to the movie I think a lot of it was not all that big of a deal like I understand in the book the letters to Ellen degenerous yeah played a major role and in the movie and in in reading an interview with both Colleen and the screenwriter for the movie they just said look ultimately this movie isn't about Ellen right so we couldn't focus so much on that just due to time constraints and it seemed like everything in the movie that was truncated was just strictly for time purposes you just don't have that type of time to tell it whereas you do in a book but I appreci that they at least even put in a scene where she's watching Ellen because then immediately you're like oh yeah this was a big part of the book you know yeah and I think seeing that and you know kind of watching it play out and then for me you know there were there were a lot of it was everything that I read because there was a whole article that said what differs from the book to the movie and there was a lot of things but they were all small and not not anything that changed the fabric of what this movie was about you know that and I think that's that's where they did a great job um you know one of the things that obviously is being discussed is and I don't get this and I don't think you do either the biggest I guess problem that people are having and I'm even talking about the offscreen you know do these people even like each other you know Colleen and Brandon and Blake have seemingly you know unfollowed Justin and there's and he's just hired a crisis PR team and I'm just like so here's my thing just not even talking about that part because we honestly don't know the truth there's reports that he was misogynistic on set he was verbally abusive and then there's other stuff that's just like oh in post-production she wanted Ryan's Editor to edit the movie and he had his own editor and they ended up going with Justin's and that's why she's bitter who knows my whole thing is about the whole idea surrounding domestic violence and some people are saying that this movie or the story itself I guess in particular the movie romanticizes or glorifies domestic violence I'm just like I not at all not at all like what are these people watching I mean if Lily in the if they changed the whole movie and Lily in the movie you know sorry spoiler here I mean we're gonna talk about it there's no way to talk about this without being spoiler you know not going into spoilers but if that would have continued happening in the movie and she ultimately ends up staying with him then yeah I think we could have a problem with it but that's not what happens I think they did a good job of giving a realistic take on it like yeah she doesn't leave after the first time she doesn't leave after the second that's probably normal life you know I would think that's I don't know what the statistics are I said this in my column I'm like I'm guessing 90 to 95% of people that are in an abusive relationship don't leave after the first hit I mean that's just me throwing out a number but we've heard the stories like it they're all over the place yeah nobody leaves after the first romanticize it at all and I've actually had some people who message me and they're like I haven't seen the movie yet I'm afraid to do it how graphic is it and I actually feel like they do a good job of not making it too graphic or uncomfortable you know what happened right you know it was a bad thing but it's not like oh God I you know like it's not too hard to watch that scene the you know the scene that everybody knows that we're talking about it it went up to a line but it didn't it didn't cross it in my mind was it uncomfortable to watch even for me who's never even been in a situation like that yeah it was still it's cringy but this is a this is a very sensitive topic so you can't there's no way to do that unless you literally just right at the start of the scene and you know where it's headed and then they just cut the whole thing out they wanted to get you at least that's why I thought it was so well done like I I was like they brought you to a point and that's the point you needed to get to and they didn't cross it and they didn't make it so overly graphic now somebody that either is currently in a relationship like that or is previously been in one will they find it triggering I I would think so well sure it's not like it's Pleasant to watch yeah yeah it's more just like they don't over don't overdo it yeah and and look and I and I said this after the fact I just and this is just I guess a testament to his acting or the casting of it and we know that abusers come in all shapes and sizes and looks but just in baldani came across to me as somebody who just had the look I was like he had me believing that he it was realistic for someone like this to be an abuser you know yeah and that's it's not to say like I said abusers come in all shapes and size powerful man you know who holds all the cards and yeah I know it was just it was amazing it was such a good movie he had he has zero% body fat guy's a hunk he really he is so easy to look at I know and then that and that's I think that's the appeal of the movie because it makes and and they've all said it in interviews like it makes you understand a little bit more not because just he was hot but he's a doctor seemingly a guy that has it all yeah but you're not just gonna oh you know you can be convinced oh maybe it was just an accident and he says he's never going to do it again like we know that's what happens where and it's why women um for the most part obviously there's other there's you know domestic violence the other way around but it's mostly towards women they that they do stay after the first or second or even third time it's it's not just oh because he's hot it's just what they are bringing to the table because every and that's and that's why the movie was so good because everything leading up to that made you understand at least why it wasn't so easy for her to leave after the first I know I mean re both reading the book and seeing the movie like when we first find out that he's abusive I was like so disappointed I was like oh my God I want to love this guy so much I want to love this character I was almost just like pissed I'm like God I want to like you did you know did you know going into the book that it was about that no so you didn't even know no okay so that's what I mean it's like I don't know how anybody watches the first up until the first hit in the movie which was probably I don't know later on 45 minutes in before we get that first one yeah they build the relationship of Lily and and you're just like these two are you know totally in love and you could see why you know she lets him you know makes him wait a little bit kind of teases him a little bit because he even says like look I'm just interested in casual sex and she's just like no that's not what I want and it's just you can see their connection yeah and then it happens and you're like oh well what is she going to do and then obviously I've gone over this the way they showed it so for me as someone who didn't read the book I think they got the exact effect that they wanted because when I saw the movie and the uh oven scene happens and then the stair staircase scene happens I'm like but wait a second he didn't really do like how do we even know he and it's like oh okay and it wasn't until the third scene when we see her flash back to those scenes and we see the full scene play out we're like oh okay but as me not knowing anything I was like wait did he did he hit her or not was it an accident or not yeah I know I know it's so good I love it but I I say that and I just want to give caution I'm not supporting yeah domestic violence at all incredible and that and that's the thing like look the whole movie is this isn't a romcom this isn't a chick flick this isn't Girls Night Out movie and I think that's where what I'm reading is some people are saying all the red carpet interview are making it seem like hey chick flick Blake Livy's in it go see it and this hot guy are in it go see it it's just like every interview that I've seen they are very making it clear of what this movie is about they're not surprising anybody and I'm guessing again 85 90% of the people that went to go see this movie probably read the book or have an idea of what this is about going in I think they're being surprised like actually what I love about um what's his name Justin baldon I don't really know him well but he his whole platform through the whole movie and if you go to his social media all he talks about is do domestic violence and how to help survivors and how to you know all that kind of stuff so he's doing a great job yeah and he's been every interview that I've seen with him has been very vocal about you know why did you make this movie because there was like a bidding war and his production company after he read the book basically approached Colleen and said I want to do this movie yeah and so he you know he he won the bidding war rights to this movie he wanted to make it he wanted to make it how he made it it now this is where we get into the you know what happened with post- production and all this stuff and you know we're just I don't think we're ever going to get a a true answer I just want some like I hate it I hate it because I love this movie and this book so much and I feel like it's tarnishing it a little bit and it's oh it just bothers me every time I see an article come across my feet I'm like I just wish they would both come out with a statement or something and just put it to bed and you know and we talked about this the latest one was People magazine did a you know Insider say sources onet say this this runs deeper than a Blake Justin riff the cast does not want to have anything to do with him and I'm like okay well either that has to get settled or we're not going to get a sequel because there there no way you could do a sequel and just recast riyle as a totally different guy because we can't have J have to have him you have to have him I I think people would be more I think people would rather take no sequel than sequel with someone replacing r recasting RI yeah I me when you when you read the second book obviously you did that somewhat recently so it's still somewhat fresh in your mind the second book is more about Lily and atlas's relationship but Riley still plays very big part of it yeah still plays a role so you can't take him out of it you couldn't cut him out of the second movie completely because that would be a complete there's no there's no book without riy so so when you read the second book did you like it better than the first was it for sure um it does just kind of help wrap up the story and like where everyone's at um she even says in like her her little thing before the book starts she's like I never wanted to write this book I'm only doing it because people loved the first one so much and I feel like I owe it to you guys to wrap up these characters so let me ask you this about the first book because this is something I read that differed the first book I guess the ending made it seem like it was more more concrete that Lily and Atlas were going to pursue a relationship or and the movie it's a little more open-ended they just meet in Boston and she asked him if he's single he how the book was was was that's what I'm asking was the book the book was more they are definitely dating at the end of the book or no I feel like the book is like openend they could okay they reconnected but like we don't know but then the second book literally picks up at that last scene and they take it from there to just like there it's not like time has passed or anything they pick it up right from that last scene okay yeah because the movie is just and it almost makes it it almost makes it make sense as to and I I heard the same thing too but not until recently that you know she wrote the first book and she left it pretty much open-ended but because of the Fanfare the book got and the popularity of it it was like what we want to see some sort of resolution does she end up in a love story with Atlas does she have a child with Atlas down the road or whatever we need to we need a some sort of resolution to this what happens with Riley and all that so I didn't realize she writes that in the beginning of the second book like hey I didn't want I didn't want to do this but I did it for you that's interesting all her books are good H I just love it are any of her books are any other of her books being made into movies that you know is and Varity is was I don't know if it's her biggest book but it definitely had the biggest splash it it's incred it's totally different you know it's a Little's it called Varity what's it about um it's God it's been a long time I should actually read it again I would read it again I read that one in one day like you can't put it down was it did it come out did it come out before it ends with us did she write it before or after maybe because it ends with us came out in 2016 but I guess it didn't take off until 2020 yeah I probably read Varity in 2018 maybe okay no no no no probably 2021 I don't know I don't know I'm not even gonna guess but it's good it's darker um is it vit y let me just see when it came out V RIT Ty y oh Verity let me just see I just want to see when it came out uh Verity Colleen Hoover oh gosh where does it say when the the year that it came out I'm on Amazon looking at it uh okay that doesn't say it I'm gonna have to almost go to wikkipedia for it let me just uh uh Verity crap oh wait Verity Wikipedia okay um maybe maybe I read it in 2021 oh Verity book because there's there's giving me the thing of verity um I can't find it I don't know why I can't find that gonna drive crazy we got date yeah the date on this thing it's like Verity book come out where 2018 okay so it came out two years after but like I said I the people that I have spoken to have basically said like I didn't read it ends with us it didn't take off until basically covid when everyone was home doing nothing nothing yeah yeah it kind of It kind of and I don't know if it ended up being like Oprah's Book Club or was a word of mouth thing or something like that but it definitely took off during that time um but from what you remember roughly what Verity was about yeah so it's it's a it's a dark romance novel it's this husband and wife and the wife is seemingly in a coma and she's a famous writer and this gal comes at she's been writing something and so they hire this Ghost Writer to come in and kind of complete a project that she was working on because she's in this coma but no one knows it um and it just it's wild it's and I heard they're making it into a movie and I like lost my mind when I heard found that out it it's so good read it please read it is it could you tell me this does she get out of the coma I can't tell you that reality Molly can't spoil Varity for me you know I could just go on Wikipedia and read the plot like I I don't want to spoil it for anyone okay no that's fine um I'll probably read the plot like you know because when I after I watched the movie on Saturday I was like I I want to read what wi Wikipedia says the plot of the book is and that's where I also saw some of the differences now now I want to make sure that I'm talking about the right book because so many of her books like I you know this is how far out of it I was she's doing an un an author's unfinished autobiography yes okay gotcha and this is how like I don't think I had ever heard the name Colleen Hoover until this movie started making the rounds last week of hey it's coming out this weekend like I didn't know she was like the main young adult writer that's very hot that everybody reads you know that reads their reads their stuff I don't really like romance books I don't watch like romance shows or anything like that her books are just so good because she hooks you on page one like she gets you wrapped into the story right away and her books are really easy reads like you could read them super quick and the book from what I read the book starts with the rooftop conversation yes okay and that is and another reason where it differs from the movie but it's not like the movie took you 30 minutes to get to the rooftop conversation it's within the first I think 10 yeah it's very early on um but yeah I needed to establish because I did not know anything about Lily and her father and all this clearly when she couldn't speak at the eulogy I realized okay she clearly had some issues with her father in the past yeah that's and it set that up for me and then we see him on the rooftop and he comes out and he's upset and then all of a sudden their flirting starts and there you go but I'm really happy to hear that people who haven't read the book still love the movie I loved I thought it was excellent I thought Blake Lively deserved like at least a nomination she won't get it because they just don't give popular movies you know people that are up for best actress and best actor or all these people in indie films that you know people that see at the can's Film Festival K Film Festival popular movies don't get nominated for anything you know except for maybe costume or something like that oh that's something I wanted to bring up were you put off by the whole wardrobe thing H it wasn't again it wasn't how I pictured her um but it didn't bother me as much as I know there's a lot of people who are super bothered with how she dressed I don't think it bothered me that much I think so much had I read the book freshly I might be pissed but time had passed so I kind of moved on from what I thought of her so I mean at the dinner party she looked hot like in that dress yeah it was just her everyday Garb with you know a floral summer dress and a jean jacket over it or something like that it was just but for me I didn't again I didn't care it's like Lively I don't care with him you know um but he was great here's another thing that came up could you have seen Brandon the guy who plays Atlas could you have seen him in the role of riyle and RI in the role of Atlas yeah I couldn't have seen Justin Bon as riy I or as Atlas I could have seen Atlas as riy interesting because I couldn't have just because he has more like Justin's face I guess because it's so chiseled and perfect it's like he it also just has a a feature to it almost a darker it's like his cheeks are sunken and he just has a darker feature to it Brandon just looks too nice he has too nice of a face to come across as a as and someone is abuser to me but like we said an abuser can look like anything it's just yeah I'm you just the book does a good job of setting it up where it's like you know riyle is just like smoking hot okay so know that okay how and finally I know we got to wrap up here just out of curiosity and I guess I don't think I'm going to go back and read the book I feel like I know so much about it now I don't feel like I need to read it I've seen the movie but I kind of want to forward to the part of the main abuse scene because I don't know how somebody like it's just it's easier to watch not easier to that didn't sound good but you know what I mean something like that playing out on screen versus how do how did she did she in the book when you're reading it where you're like did you cringe more when you're reading that scene in the book or watching it play out no in the book because there's just more details to it okay see that I guess that's what I want to read I was like how do you detail something like but she does do a good she like she gives the same impression throughout the Book of like was it an accident or was it you know so you kind of have the same takeaways when you're watching the movie like maybe he didn't mean to do this on purpose maybe it was just like a gut reaction or you know I don't know yeah I I I find that fascinating I guess you know because I'm not a reader of any of this type of stuff I the books I read are sports related or just television in general reading about Network TV and cable and all that stuff streaming services those are the only books I read and I don't read any sort of you know 50 Shades of Gray stuff like that well I'm asking you to read Varity I should read Varity okay it will take you no time it is so quick that easy huh it is a book you cannot put down I wonder I wonder if they gonna they haven't mentioned any I'm assuming they you said it's going to be made into a movie from what you hear I swear I saw an announcement that it's going to be a movie and I wonder if they've already cast it like can we start looking at who they're who's gonna be on it or who's gonna be in it come it's gonna be in a movie today show they said it I I gotta believe that anything I mean she's especially after this and I'm assuming work out whatever Kinks you have with Justin and Blake uh they can't it's almost like they can't not make the sequel they can't not make it starts with us but they have to get to the bottom of what what the heck is going on between these two because it's just not gonna work and she's just like I said the hottest Rider going right now people want her stuff yeah probably another book that she wrote in the past is probably gonna take off and be made into a movie it's kind of how it works that's another great one I mean I could go on what's it called reminders of him oh I'm guessing that's is that more of a young love type of book okay it sounds like it um that's that's interesting but I'm so glad we got to talk about this and we spent just as much time on this as we did on uh Bachelorette on The Bachelorette um but Molly thank you so much for coming on I I really appreciate it so much fun to have you on it's been been a while like I said I probably have to I'm gonna go back into my podcast long it's been and see how long it's been I want to say I it's it was definitely either covid or pre-co it's definitely wasn't past post that so again thanks again for coming on really appreciate it and uh we'll be in touch sounds great thanks Molly thanks