(Part 2/2) A Summer Affair by Elin Hilderbrand - Best Audiobook Romantic Novel

at 10:30 the phone rang Claire was upstairs trying to strip the vomity sheets off the bed with Zach clinging to her neck and the sound of the phone took her by surprise she zipped downstairs to get it Siobhan she thought and her heart lightened or Jason or lock but no it was Sunday he would never in a million years call her house on a Sunday the caller ID said unknown number telemarketer she thought her heart sinking Zach started to bang his head against her breastbone and cry it was not a good time to take a call but Claire was grateful that anyone wanted to talk to her even a salesperson she picked up the phone hello Claire it was a man it was lock it was not Lo but the voice was as familiar as Lock's voice it was ringing the same bells in her head yes she said it's me she paused then said tentatively me who Matthew oh she said astonished Matthew really it was Matthew oh God I can't believe it you got my message he said back in October yes I got it I'm home now he said well not home home but in California Zach was crying Claire couldn't hear Matthew she said can you hang on a second is this a bad time no she said no God no the voice all of a sudden made sense it clicked that famous voice it had been so long I have to talk to you I mean I need a friend and all of my other friends and my husband for that matter well I've pissed them off I'm pretty much Persona n grada around here that makes two of us he said hold on one second she said she set the phone down and tried to shush Zack but he was in a full-blown tizzy there was nothing she could do with him but she wanted to talk to Matthew they had known and loved each other long before Jason or Siobhan or lock had come into her life and there was a reason he was calling now this morning it was a sign it was what she needed she buckled she had no choice she knocked on Pan's bedroom door pan opened the door a crack she was wearing a gray athletic shirt and black panties and her hair was in her face she had been asleep I am so so sorry Claire said but can you please please hold him for 10 minutes I have to take a very important phone call Pan did not respond and CLA thought maybe she was sleepwalking Zach lunged for her and pan reached out instinctively took Zack and shut the door thank you CLA said to the closed door thanks pan 10 minutes she hurried back to the phone are you still there I'm here thank God Claire said she moved outside and settled on the top step of the deck where she sat in the sun she was warm outside for the first time in months thank God you called me tell me what's happening Matthew said tell me everything only then did Claire cry Max West was a rock star yes he had played for the Sultan of Bruno I the doy Lama an Amphitheater full of Buddhist monks he had won gramys and met presidents but he was her childhood her adolescence he was a part of her he was who she used to be and he was who she still was somewhere deep inside back when they were friends before they were lovers he would come to her house on Saturday mornings and help her with her chores dusting and vacuuming the front of the house house before he had his growth spurt he would stand on top of the vacuum and CLA would push him around the living room he showed up one time in the middle of the night and found Claire asleep with her hair wrapped in treated paper to straighten it and they both laughed until they nearly wet their pants his junior year he drove a 1972 yellow Volkswagen bug that had no turn signals and no ignition and even in February when it was 15 below zero he had to rank down his windows and stick his arm out so that oncoming traffic would know he was turning he had to run alongside that car to get it started and CLA was right there with him running pushing hopping into the passenger side he worked as a bus boy one summer at a seafood restaurant on the boardwalk and Claire would meet him after his shift and once in a while he would pull lobster tails from behind his back they were extras a gift from the cook they used to eat the lobsters with their bare hands in the dunes looking at the Black Ocean on those nights of the pilford lobsters the breeze in her face and Matthew's bare leg knocking against hers and the hour growing so late that the lights of the boardwalk were shutting down behind them she felt something rare she thought to herself I never want my life to change but change it did I'm okay Claire sobbed how had she gotten here so far away from that Dune in Wildwood she lived somewhere else now and she had four children and a husband and a career and a house and a best friend and a lover and this unwieldy commitment that was causing her so much angst but the Gaya was also bringing Matthew back to her and along with Matthew these memories they gave her strength if only because they were reminding her of who she was at her core but this second she was like Zach she couldn't stop crying despite the sunshine you talk first you tell me I'm drinking again Matthew said I'm drunk now oh Claire said through a blockage of teary snot in her nose oh no yeah yes he said I was away for months on tour I was in Asia remote Indonesia far-flung islands with dragons and I was in wildest Borneo where there are still cannibals it was a freak Show I thought I could handle it but then my sponsor got sick and left me on top of a volcano in Flores where the Lakes were pink purple and turquoise because of mineral deposit closets the Lakes were mindblowing they were like something Disney came up with but they were real and then my sponsor Jerry Christian Fellow got really [ __ ] sick and I could tell you that that was when I lost my way but the fact of the matter is I lost my way well before that I started drinking in the airplane bathroom before we even left LAX and basically never stopped no yes when I came home to California Bess divorced me I let her down she said she wasn't willing to do it anymore and I said you knew I was vulnerable you should have come with me yes why didn't she she hates touring hates it she's a homebody she didn't want to leave the dogs said sniffling the dogs so we're done it's over she's going to marry my accountant and have children I'm giving her $3 million even though she claims she doesn't want it and she doesn't want the house even though she helped design it and decorate it in that zenish best way but I can't live in it it's her house so we're selling it but she's there for the time being with the dogs she's taking custody of the dogs of course and I'm renting a place in the Hills trying to keep myself to two gin and tonics per hour oh Matthew I know this is the bottom everyone thought the bottom was when Savannah and I got caught coming out of the Beverly Hills Hotel that was pretty bad that was just a media blitz except for the fact that the husband took a contract out on me with the Bell Russian mob they tried to kill me well no one's threatening to kill you now Claire said so this is better it's worse he said because I am very slowly killing myself you have to stop CLA said I can't stop right she had seen it in the tabloids in and out of rehab where he was treated and deprogrammed medicated and talked to but as soon as he got out as soon as he was left to his own devices he sought the very thing he was trying to stay away from Claire understood it now better than she ever had before because she was addicted to lock she was was unable to give him up despite the fact that staying with him was ruining her life you can't stop she whispered it's a disease he said Claire thought back to Labor Day weekend 1986 a few nights before their senior year was to begin there was a late night party in an empty rental house thrown by their friend EK whose mother was a real estate agent there was beer there was strip poker Claire for some reason was the only girl at the party after midnight or the only girl playing strip poker and Matthew did not want her to take her clothes off but that was the game so she took them off unconcerned because EK and Jeffrey and Jonathan cross and everyone else were her good buddies buddies since Nursery School they were like brothers Claire sat in the circle practically naked feeling skinny and sexless they were her brothers but Matthew got quietly upset he drank and drank and drank and when the sun came up and they all got dressed again Claire had to carry Matthew to his doorstep he was babbling making no sense saying you make me crazy I love you I'm crazy you make me crazy Claire Danner Claire had considered considered leaving Matthew draped across his front porch but she was afraid he would choke on his own vomit and die the way they were always warning you of in health class so she tapped on the screen door which brought Sweet Jane Westfield outside with her cigarette and her cup of tea Claire thought Jane would be mad they had stayed out all night drinking but Matthew had four older siblings all out of the house by that time and sweet Jane was used to teenage Shenanigans she took Matthew inside and waved goodbye to CLA and as Clare wandered down the westfields walk she heard Matthew say to his mother that girl of mine makes me crazy when Claire thought of Labor Day weekend 1986 she thought that was when it started Matthew's alcoholism but that might have been her feeling pointlessly responsible again No Boundaries the truth was in the years since they both left Wildwood Matthew had known excesses CLA couldn't even imagine tell me about you Matthew said tell me why you're sad never in a million years did I expect to call and find you sad I never think of you as being sad remember when you told me that once you were out of your parents house your life was going to be perfect huh CLA said she had told Matthew that she had promised herself she would leave Wildwood Crest with a clean slate and her life had been happy it had been blessed until when when had the trouble started with Zach's birth or before that on the night of Daphne's accident where would Claire start if she wanted to explain about lock what would she say I love him the way I used to love you with heedless abandon with pure emotion in that aching longing dangerous way I went to a party last night she said and I drank and I had all this stuff on my mind then I had a fight with my best friend Siobhan it was her party and the fight left me feeling horrible and then I saw Jason coming down the stairs with this other friend of ours this woman who was a complete knockout and I accused him of sleeping with her and God it's a mess I made a mess Jason's not speaking to me and Siobhan's not speaking to me and our opair probably isn't speaking to me and I have one of my little girls upstairs vomiting and I just feel bad about myself and Confused I'm looking at my life and I'm saying what happened what am I doing how did I get here do you ever feel that way all the time Matthew said it's fair to say I feel that way all the time but you're a big star Claire said nobody gets mad at you Bess is mad she's beyond mad she's finished my b is mad Terry and Alfonso they're disappointed and mad and they have every right to be I'm letting them down I'm a big star but guess what I'm also a seriously flawed person I can write songs and sing and play the guitar but that doesn't mean I don't have weak spots and bad days like every other human being we all fail Claire she was was crying again I miss you she said I miss you too he said I have to hang up but I'm going to see you right in August you'll stay here with us yes he said you have to stop drinking she said just stop for 1 hour do you want me to call Bruce he knows all about it Matthew said he's on his way over here as we speak you have to be sober for my concert Matthew she said for me okay for you he said okay okay Claire said she hung up the phone and spent a moment enjoying the sun on her arms she was feeling pain about the past 24 hours and pain from 20 years earlier she was as confused now as she'd been then the world and the people in it perplexed her she perplexed herself mommy she went inside the vacation could have gone either way Lo and Daphne were alone for 8 days and seven nights things could have gotten better between them or worse they had taken two other vacations alone together since Daphne's accident one to Kawai one to London and neither had done the trick but there was always the lingering hope that this time would be different this time the sunshine or the pool or the amenities of the worldclass resort would Inspire the change Lo had been waiting for Daphne would snap back into her old self she would break out of the spell cast on her by her head injuries and wake up like Snow White or Sleeping Beauty where have I been all this time in the end the vacation didn't go one way or the other things between them remained the same which meant what the two days at Andover were torture Heather didn't want them there she asked them to meet her off campus at a vegetarian restaurant in town there were other students in the restaurant some of whom waved to Heather and murmured her name but Heather did not introduce Lo or Daphne to anyone lot couldn't say he blamed Heather because Daphne especially in front of people she had never met was unpredictable she began by harassing their waitress about her hair which was knotted in dreadlocks a nice white girl like you Daphne said only seconds after ordering a leak and guer tart sabotaging your looks with that awful hair you don't wash it is that it what do your parents say the waitress chose to ignore Daphne she flushed as she scribbled down locks and Heather's orders and then she fled from the table while Daphne inexplicably clucked like a chicken Heather glowed mortified mom she said quit it quit what what Daphne said I just wonder what her parents think lock tried to serve as a buffer between his wife and his daughter he tried to Shield Heather from Daphne's attacks but Daphne landed a few Jabs anyway Heather's calves were too muscular Daphne said you look like a boy you should think about quitting hockey next year but Mom Heather said hockey is why I'm here you don't want to turn into a lesbian do you Daphne said I don't want you to turn into a lesbian all right lock said that's enough Heather seemed happier when it was just her and lock alone after Daphne went back to the Inn to rest Heather took lock onto campus introduced him to her art history teacher showed him her dorm room where he visited with Heather's roommate Desiree whose parents had kindly taken Heather to and Kos desire's parents also had a house on Martha's Vineyard and Heather mentioned spending the summer there and lock said yes or you and desire could spend the summer on Nantucket we have plenty of room but Heather scowled at this and lock knew he would never be taken up on his offer his daughter at the tender age of 15 was gone and this made him feel unspeakably angry at Daphne but Daphne's manner was beyond her what had the doctor said it was like someone else was inside Daphne Manning the controls some evil green alien the wife and mother Invader lot could not blame Heather for wanting to spend the summer on the vineyard if given the chance he might say yes to it himself before lock returned to the Inn to shower and change they were going to a restaurant 30 m away at Heather's suggestion Heather said you and Mom don't have to worry about me I'm going to be fine lock looked at his daughter her dark hair her wide pretty mouth so much like Daphne's her strong legs her slender feminine feet in espadrilles and he nearly wept he had expected to hear those words when she was ready to embark on her honeymoon or when she was setting off for college perhaps but not now at the age of 15 he thought he'd experienced and expelled all his sadness about losing his daughter's confidence and her company but he was wrong he felt it freshly now he was so consumed with keeping things between Heather and Daphne on an even Keel it was exhausting that he didn't have a second to think about CLA that changed once lock and Daphne pulled away from Philip's Academy once they were alone alone together with what seemed like an endless stretch of Alone Together time in front of them Daphne stared out the window silently for a while then started on a diet tribe about Heather her legs were the legs of an 18-year-old boy a cross-country Runner with those ropey muscles if she stayed at that school she would most certainly become a lesbian they had to pull her out she seemed so unhappy anyway didn't she positively morose she hadn't smiled once the whole time they were there and what to make of the vegetarianism she had been raised on beef tenderloin the school was to blame so liberal so forward thinking offering shameful alternatives to the way normal people lived had lock happened to notice the hair on the girl who served them Heather should move home they could redecorate the basement turn it into a hangout with an iPod station and the best speakers a computer a plasma TV a refrigerator full of Hump if that was what she wanted anything so she would come home she's so set on privacy and Independence we'll just promise her we'll never go down there lo was silent the idea wasn't terrible lock wanted Heather home as much as Daphne did but he knew it was never going to happen in response to Lock's silence Daphne started to cry and lo reached over for her hand which she flung away in anger we should have had more children she said I can't believe I let you talk me out of it it was pointless to remind her that after Heather was born a cyst formed on one of Daphne's ovaries and she'd had both ovaries removed blame for the fact that Heather was an only child had since the accident Fallen squarely onto Lock's shoulders at some point during the ride to the airport lock remembered Claire although it would be inaccurate to say he'd forgotten her rather he decided out of fairness to Daphne and Heather that he would do his best to contain his feelings for Claire he would put them in a box a small gold treasure chest as he envisioned it and keep it closed and locked however as Daphne railed against him for first one offence then another lock opened the box just a crack he picked Ed Claire driving to the grocery store pulling a gather from her pot furnace climbing into bed in Lock's mind she was alone though in reality he knew this was never the case more images flowed out of the box he heard Claire's clogs on the stairs of the Elijah Baker house as he waited two glasses of wine in hand breath suspended for her to pop her head around the corner hey you he thought about wiping away the tears that often appeared in the corners of her eyes after they made love Claire cried for a variety of reasons the sex was astonishing the rush of emotion overwhelmed her she hated to leave him it hurt physically to rip herself away and two there was guilt about Jason about Daphne about the kids and there was fear fear of getting caught fear of going to hell nearly every time they were together they talked about stopping about walking away in the name of a righteous life but neither of them ever followed through it was cathartic to talk about but impossible to execute leaving each other they felt ecstatic elated anxious guilt-ridden despicable but mostly they felt alive each day was spring-loaded and tense with possibility to see each other to talk to touch and it was this emotion that was too intoxicating to give up the actual vacation although parts of it were pleasant the hot sun the cool clear blue water the delicious food and drinks the luxurious room the attentive service felt to lock like a vacuum it was an 8 day 7even night tunnel of no CLA it was something to be survived he had promised CLA he would email and in fact the resort had a business center he could have used at any time but he felt that communicating with her trying to put words to his emptiness and then subjecting himself to the added torture of awaiting a response would be infinitely more painful than just putting his head down and enduring he and Daphne spent long silent hours by the pool each of them reading and while Daphne napped Lo took walks on the beach thinking not of Claire always of Clare but of what topics he could bring up at dinner that would not incite a verbal attack from Daphne she did seem marginally better at the resort though she found ways to insult the other guests who were primarily British and therefore reserved and inclined to keep to themselves especially when they heard Daphne laps into her clucking there were two evenings of intimacy and these were perhaps the most trying times for Lo sexually Daphne was both aggressive and impossible to please lock helped Along by three rum punches strove to remember Daphne as she used to be before she took to assaulting his manhood at the same time that she was trying to excite him it was during these intimate moments that Lo thought to himself I cannot stay married to this woman he would not be able to stand a lifetime of such sexual encounters but he also knew he would never be able to cut Daphne loose no matter how bad things got there wasn't another man alive who would be willing to take Daphne on and her parents had passed away so what this meant was that if Lo abandoned her she would become Heather's lot and lot could not would not burden his daughter that way he would stay with Daphne the best moments of the vacation were when Daphne would look up from her book take a sip of her rum punch and say thanks babe this the pet name that the two of them had used with each other and with Heather before the accident for bringing me here I'm I'm having fun the worst moment came at dinner on the final night it was no surprise that Daphne had saved her poison spear for the final night that was part of the torture allowing lock to believe that they'd made it a whole week without overt hostility and then sticking him in the final hour Daphne was smarter cleverer and more cunning now than she had been before the accident over a glass of very fine pale bubbling champagne she said I have a question for you shoot do you find Isabelle French attractive Lo laughed inadvertently spritzing some of his drink across the tablecloth no he said you're lying I am not lying Isabelle French is a beautiful woman any one you asked would say so she's fine nothing special other people may find her beautiful but I don't particularly I've known her a long time maybe I'm just used to how she looks I don't notice it she's after you don't be ridiculous Daphne you heard what she did with Henry McGarvey at the Waldorf of course if you touch her I'll kill you I'm not going to touch her I mean it I'll murder you in your sleep then I'll find a female judge who will let me off the hook nothing is going on between me and Isabelle really daffne said she tilted her head her eyes held a look of unusual Clarity because I've noticed a change in you since you asked her to co-chair the Gaya you work late all the time now I've always worked late Lo said it's the only time I get anything done you know this during the day the phone rings off the hook lock Daphne said she leaned forward over her champagne flute another inch and she would topple it with her breasts I am not a stupid woman no one thinks you are least of all me and yet you're conducting an a hair under my nose Lo thought he might feel something at this declaration but it fell into a pattern with Daphne's other rants she started out with an innocent question did he find Isabelle French attractive then ramped up to a Flatout accusation it was a little more Troublesome in this instance because she happened to be partially correct she sensed something I am not having an affair with Isabelle French Lo said with conviction and I do not like being accused of such on the last night of what has been a very pleasant vacation Daphne looked amused tell me you love me I love you I've been thinking of hiring a private detective you have got to be kidding she took a long sip of her drink okay now locks blood pressure was up a little bit and then she said yes he almost lashed out at her she was infuriating it was inconceivable that she was constantly unearthing new ways to Rattle him would it never end would she ever level off would he ever truly be the Fortress he thought he was inured to her attacks but she chuckled a little and turned her attention to the menu and lock let the stream of breath he unconsciously been holding go and thought Isabel French Jesus when Lo arrived home from vacation when he was finally finally finally back in the office sorting through the neatly organized piles that Gavin had left on his desk thoughts of torola and the hot sun and the cool water and the books he had read and Daphne and her taunts of a private detective all all faded away all lock could think about was when he might see Claire how was your vacation Gavin asked lock stared at him blankly then said we had good weather lock called cla's cell phone and said quickly even though he had prudently waited until Gavin left for the bank with a deposit I'm back can you stop by later to pick up the Maybe 7:00 Daylight Savings Time had ended though 7:00 was too early it was still light outside at 700 they had to stay in the office hidden they couldn't tool around in her car lock should push her back to 8 but he would never be able to wait that long so Claire came at 7 lock heard her running up the stairs yes running and that echoed in his heart his heart heart was running God only a few more seconds until he met her at the top of the stairs he didn't even look at her he didn't have to he didn't care what she looked like anyway he just wanted her in his arms he crushed her and she was crying and he was struggling for air overwhelmed as he was with love relief Comfort peace that was too long he said I'm sorry I nearly died without you she said everything went to pot I could barely breathe at times he said I missed you so much never go away again she said never leave me like that okay he said I won't it was a rush a torrent the week following his return from torola he saw CLA four times four times it was unprecedented unsafe but lock told Daphne truthfully you should see the work that stacked up on my desk while I was away and Jason had some kind of deadline at the end of the month and he was working even later than CLA stayed out he was angry at her anyway they'd had an argument and Jason was sleeping alternately in the guest room or on the sofa Lo had heard about this he' heard about Edward and Siobhan Siobhan wasn't speaking to CLA either they had not talked in almost 7 days and he'd heard about Zach's birth day and the encouraging news from the pediatrician he and CLA had to catch up in bits and pieces because most of their time was spent holding each other reassuring each other that they were really there in a way it was the best week they'd ever had their emotions ran from Rapture to delirium and Back Again the despair of being a part was in their past guilt had been suspended as had fear their first thoughts were not of being careful twice Lo had to keep CLA from embracing him in front of the 20 pained window the private detective stupidly haunted him their first thoughts were only of each other Gavin took advantage of the weak lock was away to steal steal steel steel steel steel he skimmed off every check that came into the office including a check for $5,000 from a prestigious women's shoe company in New York which Isabelle French had enlisted to underwrite the Gaya he kept $1,000 for himself he had nearly $110,000 in cash stowed away in the utensil drawer of his parents kitchen Gavin found taking money while lock was gone almost too easy he was able to cover his tracks then double check and triple check that they were covered it lacked the risk of skimming funds right under Lock's nose it was almost more quickening to pill for money from petty cash for his lunch which he also did each day lock was on vacation Gavin was happy to see lock return not only because it put the fun back into his game but because Gavin had missed his employer lock was a truly wonderful man this had come into clearer Focus after lock had gone away Gavin felt bad about deceiving him but this guilt only added extra oomph to Gavin's treachery he fantasized all the time about getting caught he had a favorite scenario in which he invited Lo and Daphne to his parents house for dinner and in an attempt to locate a serving fork or an extra dessert spoon one of them opened the utensil drawer and discovered the money and they said where did you get all this money though they knew there could only be one place I am a thief Gavin thought this all the time now he had come around from considering it skimming skimming was back when his cash was merely hundreds but now that it was about to top five figures it qualified as stealing he was a thief and clearly his mind had been ruined as his mother had always feared by movies and TV because his self-image took on a more and more glamorous Sheen instead of seeing himself as a rotten dishonest brat who was freeloading off his parents and now taking important funds from little kids whose lives were infinitely more difficult than his had ever been he put himself in a category with Brad Pit in Oceans 11 someone who disarmed elaborate security systems cracked codes slipped on velvet gloves there were Fishers however cracks in his resolve through which his Panic escaped he could not get caught it wasn't that he had much to lose the nitty-gritty facts were that if he got caught he he would have to move out of his parents' house and he would lose his job and his three or four friends but all of that was going into the rubbish bin anyway once he had enough money how much was enough a 100,000 could he actually take a 100,000 and not get caught he was leaving he was off to an island in Southeast Asia so remote it didn't even have a name at least not one pronounceable to native speakers of English it was important to Gavin however that he leave on his own terms in glory as it were the people of Nantucket would learn he was a thief but by then it would be too late he would have vanished never to be heard from again he would have gotten away with it it was imperative that Gavin get away with it unlike the debacle at Kapp Lehi where he'd had his hand SLA like a little boy where his crime had been categorized as naive and juvenile it was important that he succeed in this one thing and two he was having fun if he got caught the fun would come to an abrupt halt one night the week after lock returned Gavin experienced unprecedented Panic he was at dinner with rosemary pinkle the recently widowed woman Gavin had befriended at the Episcopal Church they were both fans of the even song service and their friendship had grown to Encompass monthly dinners out these dinners sustained Gavin's altruistic side and reinforced his belief that he was not a complete loss in the human kindness Department he listened to Rosemary's stories about her departed husband with careful attention Rosemary and Clive pinkle had traveled extensively and Rosemary's stories were fascinating she did on occasion lapse into unexpected moments of melancholy she shed tears she broke down into sobs at which point Gavin held her hand hoping that should his father die first there would be a young man in Chicago who would fill a similar role for his mother on the night in question Rosemary was in High Spirits she was a gardener and hearten by the fine weather and by the fact that the deer were staying away from her tulips she and Gavin were eating at American Seasons newly opened for the season a further harbinger of Summer just as Gavin was delving into his cream of sorl soup he was struck by a paralyzing thought that afternoon at work he had sent out a letter to the women's shoe company in New York thanking them for their underwriting donation and confirming the 501c3 status of nantucket's children making the donation tax deductible as Rosemary detailed to him how she had outsmarted the deer she had sprinkled the mulch around the Tulips with human hair collected from a salon in town Gavin questioned the amount he had typed in the letter the check had been for $5,000 he had deposited $50,000 and taken $11,000 as cash making the net deposit $49,000 that number $49,000 was the number that stuck in Gavin's mind and he became more and more fearful as he pretended to eat his soup and as he pretended to listen to Rosemary the salon had been glad to get rid of the hair that he had typed in $49,000 as the amount of the donation instead of $50,000 the letter had been signed by lock who did not read it stamped and taken to the post office however if Gavin had indeed typed in $449,000 instead of $50,000 someone from the women's shoe company would call to inquire and this would cause either lock or Adams Fisk to look more closely into the matter Gavin tried tried tried to remember he was hyp hyper aware of every detail of his crime he would have been paying attention when he wrote this letter right but that was the problem he could not remember typing in the figure $50,000 and he did not remember double-checking it before he took it over to Lock's desk for a signature Gavin did not remember typing $49,000 either but this was the amount he subconsciously attached to the donation Gavin's heart was slamming in his chest he was growing warm and he had to yank his tie free of his neck it was strangling him though of course he hated to do it because there was nothing quite as distasteful as a man with a sloppy necktie Gavin was positive now that if he had been working from his subconscious if he wrote the letter on autopilot which he must have since he couldn't remember the most important detail of the letter then he might have typed in $49,000 instead of $50,000 lock did not read the letter because he never read the letters they were all the same and because Gavin had been looming over Lock's desk with barely concealed impatience he wanted to get to the bank he wanted a cigarette and some of the letters lock was signing had been waiting for 12 days lock had not noticed the amount he was tired from his vacation and if Gavin could put his two cents in he seemed distracted as if he had left his ability to focus back in torola plus there was never a reason to check Gavin's work because Gavin never made mistakes it was bound to happen sometime though and it had happened today Gavin set his spoon on the plate resting under his soup bowl he could not eat another bite Rosemary noticed this in so many ways she was like his mother eat up eat up are you finished she said is it not good I don't feel well Gavin said he could not get caught okay say a representative from the women's shoe company did call chances were Gavin would answer the phone but what if the call came while Gavin was at lunch what if the call came before gav hav got in in the morning or after he'd left in the evening what if it came in while he was in the bathroom or on another call Lock would answer the sheer torture of waiting for that phone call would be enough to land Gavin in the Funny Farm the waitress came to clear his plate Gavin said it was very good I just don't feel well Rosemary leaned forward she was ATT tuned to people who didn't feel well her husband CL five had gone to bed early one night complaining of heartburn and had died in his sleep have some water she said the most crucial thing the thing that was pressing with more and more urgency in his chest and lower in his bowels was for him to go to the office and check the letter on his computer because what if he was mistaken what if the amount did read $50,000 God he would be so relieved he would offer to pay for dinner he would do more than offer he would slip the waitress his credit card and ask her to run it without Rosemary's knowledge Rosemary would be miffed she always paid for dinner in this she was also like Gavin's mother but she would be touched too he just had to excuse himself Dash to the office check his computer and race back his heart sank that would take too long Rosemary would grow concerned she would check on him in the bathroom or ask a male waiter to check on him and he wouldn't be there and how would he explain that but staying here through his rack of lamb and then coffee and dessert was not an option he tugged at his tie some more this time for effect I hate to say this but I think I have to go home home Rosemary said I think I'm going to be sick oh dear Rosemary Mary said you'd better go then yes don't stay another second because of me I hate to walk out on you like this Gavin said go I'll tell our waitress what's happened and settled the bill unless you want me to drive you home do you want me to drive you no Gavin said he was hunched over trying to convey the immediacy of his distress I can drive I'll just I need to get home go Rosemary said I'll call in a little while to check on you he kissed her cheek you're a doll I'm so sorry to go Rosemary said he humped through town head down pulling Hasty nervous drags off a cigarette muttering to himself praying this was all a mistake a bad suspicion did all criminals suffer from such paranoia they must $49,000 yes the more he thought about it the more certain he was that he'd blown it but maybe not God he couldn't stand it he hurried he fumbled with his keys at the door his hands were shaking he was not particularly quiet it had not occurred to him that lock would still be in the office it was nearly 8:00 but when Gavin was halfway up the stairs he heard voices lock was here [ __ ] Gavin considered turning around and leaving but no he couldn't he had to check that letter tonight so what could he tell Lo he was doing getting a phone number maybe or an email address would that be plausible as Gavin rifled through possibilities in his mind he became alerted to the fact that something unusual was a foot in the office there was bumping and banging heavy breathing a woman's voice Gavin stopped where he was on the stairs and flattened himself against the wall the way he'd seen people do in the movies who was in the office he and lock were the only ones who had keys Gavin cocked his head straining to hear the noises seemed to be coming from the conference room a woman talking or crying or moaning she was saying Lock's name so Lo was here a second later Gavin heard lock say clear as a bell oh Claire Jesus okay Gavin thought okay he had walked in on something a big time something between Lo and Claire Gavin felt like he was spinning it just wasn't possible was it he had entertained the idea that Lo was hiding something and an affair with CLA had crossed Gavin's mind though he'd immediately dismissed it but to have Unearthed it now like this was hideous he must leave but Gavin was confused both horrified and curious like a rubbernecker at a traffic accident he continued be interviewed so he would have an interesting story to tell his buddies over beers you know Matt Namy Jack venture a little they members out here sure all the Doyles are Matt play golf not much he would occasionally come out with Chris they get along as far as I could tell Jack leaned against the counter and picked up a vote for Joe Button from the Box on the counter can I have this take the box I'll have to trash them tomorrow thanks Jack made a show of pinning the button to his coat is there a bathroom yeah locker room is down the hall on the right thanks Jack went down the hall peaked into the locker room and kept going the next door was a cleaning closet but the next one was what he was looking for he opened the door to Chris's office and flipped on the light a death desk was wedged into a space only marginally bigger than the cleaning closet next door a filing cabinet a number of single golf clubs in various states of repair and a couple of folded metal chairs took up the back wall a Dusty Dell desktop sat on the corner of the desk looking like it hadn't been used in 5 years no sofa Jack flipped off the light and went back into the Hall he walked walked back to the 19th Hole slowly taking in the pictures and plaques on the walls one name dominated the Club Championship plaques from the mid 1980s to the early 2000s Jack stopped in front of a fairly recent picture of Joe Doyle Chris Matt and an older man Jack didn't recognize that's big Jake Chris stood in the doorway of the 19th Hole holding a cup filled with tomato juice red beer Chris explained want one no should I know who Big Jake is Jacob York Ellie's dad Jack nodded and turned his attention back to the man in the picture he was big all right he towered over Joe Chris and Matt a large nose anchored a face covered in broken blood vessels a cigar was stuck in the corner of his mouth but but couldn't hide his smirk of self-satisfaction Jack saw where Ellie got her height but nothing else about this man reminded him of her he spent a lot of time out here he called it his office I suppose for a gambler like him a country club is a good place to spend your time Chris sipped his drink and stared at Jack over the rim what can I do for you jack I'm here to talk about Matt and Amy you are why are you surprised I assumed y all weren't interested in what I had to say since you didn't come see me yesterday lots of interviews to get through and I'm at the bottom of the list come on brought a few holes with me Chris didn't wait for Jack to answer he was out of the bar through the door and outside in five long strides in his golf cart in 10 Jack sat in the passenger aside Chris punched the gas pedal and the golf cart jumped to life Jack grabbed the roof of the cart with his free hand you play golf Chris asked some you should come play with me five a hole usually but I can go richer or poorer whatever you want probably shouldn't be gambling as chief of police I won't tell Chris was out of the cart before it completely stopped at the 10th T he pulled a driver out of his bag teed his ball up took two practice swings and hit the ball straight down the middle of the Fairway Nice Shot Jack said Chris put a stuffed barehead cover over his driver and shove the club into his bag thanks he punched the gas and the golf cart lurched again what do you want to know why are you playing golf when your brother and sister-in-law have barely been dead for 48 Hours Chris checked the GPS for distance and stopped the cart by his ball 205 slight headwind looks like a four to me Jack waited while he hit a solid shot it landed on the left edge of the green with a right pin placement they drove to the green I guess it does seem cold me golfing after my family's been murdered it isn't because I didn't like and Amy or because I'm not sad they were the only two people in this whole damn family with a bit of decency Chris got his putter two puted for birdie and returned he drove the cart to the 11th T stopped at the tea box and picked up his cup he sat back and stared at the river to their left peaceful isn't it Chris said it is nothing like what's going on at Joe's house no or mine I imagine Chris spread his hands as if it explained everything there's nothing I could do there they've got all the bases covered what do you mean my father-in-law is all blustery and indignant threatening for heads to roll if the murder isn't solved yesterday my mother-in-law is sedated my wife is methodically taking care of everything but letting her father take the credit there's nothing for me to do be a comfort to your family he scoffed Mary is the only one who needs comfort and she's got Prozac for that she'll probably be drugged up for a year she is most of the time as it is what about Mt and Amy's children being taken care of by Amy's mom no doubt she'll probably push for custody which will be granted because Mary can't take care of them and Michelle won't want them Joe will probably put up a fight because it's expected but he doesn't want the hassle either you aren't painting your family in a very Rosy light it's not a Rosy family I have no doubt Michelle and Joe are livid but griev not in the typical way for all of Chris's distance and apparent disinterest he he saw right through his family you have any theories on who did it nope I don't believe you Chris Ryan put his arm across the back of the seat and turned toward Jack who do you think did it Jack smiled Norman Davey Chris's eyes bulged and he GAA Dy you're [ __ ] me right yes he has a rock solid Alibi about the only one close to Matt who does Chris tossed his empty cup in the trash and pulled out his three iron after he made the shot straight down the Fairway again Jack said tell me about Saturday night Sunday morning after the bonfire Michelle and I left together I dropped her at her car and brought the smoker out here what time did you get home I don't remember late after 2 probably where were your kids home in bed I checked on them before turning in asleep yes or pretending to be you know teenagers and Michelle was she home when you got there I don't know we don't share a bedroom she snores like a locomotive when did you see her next Sunday afternoon you didn't talk to your wife until the afternoon she didn't call or text you about Matt and Amy she texted me but there was nothing I could do no one can confirm where you were from 12:30 until Sunday afternoon I was here Sunday morning who did you see first and what time I honestly don't know I took a shower in the locker room and got out on the course about 7 I'll need the names of your forceum I played by myself not busy on Sunday morning not particularly it picks up after church what was your relationship with Matt like we weren't close but we didn't dislike each other how about Matt and Michelle they get along no Michelle resented Matt because he was Joe's favorite and Matt thought Michelle was a raging [ __ ] and a bully finally a family member willing to tell it like it is then why did Matt come to work for Di Joe promised him autonomy from Michelle did he get it he thought he did my wife can be subtle when she wants to they needed him to stick around and be happy so she made sure he was why did they need Matt happy Chris's golf shoes clicked on the cart path he leaned one arm on the roof of the cart you know I have a pretty good life hell I basically play golf for a living for the privilege I look the other way when my wife [ __ ] other men and I'd do exactly what Joe and Michelle tell me to do and they've told you to keep quiet Chris's laugh was bitter I'm so insignificant they haven't told me [ __ ] you know about Michelle's infidelities everyone knows about my wife's infidelities and you don't care like I said I have a good life I have my share of Secrets he pulled his driver out of his back bag walked to the tea and teed up his ball Chris addressed the ball and wiggled his club with a fluid motion he sent the ball flying a perfect draw remind me never to play golf with you Jack said tell me about Paco Morales Chris covered his driver and pushed it in his bag roughly Paco old bastard hasn't shown up for work in 5 days if he wasn't the best groundsman I've ever had I'd fire his ass when was the last day he was here Thursday I think maybe Wednesday I'll have to check the time cards ever have any trouble with him no none reliable great worker we've ided one of the bodies at the 107 fire as Pacos oh [ __ ] Chris rubbed his hand over his mouth after a moment he Shrugged I guess I'm not shocked he'd occasionally asked me to hire friends of his pay them in cash I know it's illegal but I would only short term I caught one of his friends living out in the grounds keeper shed out by the 12th green I tore into Paco he stopped asking after that when did that happened a year ago no one recently Jack said Chris frowned shook his head and looked away not here did Michelle know Paco sure he did our yard too are we about done here I need to get home and get ready for visitation tonight sure they drove the length of a hole before Jack said do you own a gun no Michelle made me get rid of them she has one she doesn't think I know about it how do you know about it I saw her hiding it in her dresser Sunday Night chapter 36 Ellie wondered how much longer she needed to continue with this farce she looked at her watch 11: in the morning and if the lack of eyeon contact from the voters as they exited the Rock Gym was any indication Doyle was going to win in a landslide Ellie felt like a criminal standing before the bar waiting for the jury to read out the sentence Jane Maxwell and her sister Marta exited the gym they at least made a beine to her heads High doubt look so downtrodden Jane chastised voters who are on the fence is they go in will surely not be encouraged by your defeated expression Ellie plastered on a smile better no we knew it would be a long shot you made people think which will help you when you run for mayor to replace me Ellie laughed I'm not running for mayor this little Endeavor has cured me of any desire to be in politics nonsense Not For the First Time Ellie got the impression she was playing a part in a script written Long Ago by Jane Maxwell you look terrible Jane said are you sick don't spare my feelings Jane Jane gave Ellie a look that said she was too old and time was too short to spare feelings it'll pass how are you feeling I'm 92 years old it was apparently all the explanation Ellie was going to get Jane glared at someone over Ellie's shoulder she followed Jane's gaze look smug all you want Joe Doyle Jane said Voice Low your days are numbered Joe and Michelle walked on either side of Mary Doyle holding up her and her grief Joe and Michelle looked appropriately subdued as the relatives of recently murdered family members but Mary was the only one who looked truly wrecked at the loss Joe smiled tightly and waved at voters and Michelle kept her arm around her mother but her eyes found Ellie grief couldn't Mask The Knowing smirk Michelle always through Ellie's way she knew Michelle's mind wasn't on her mother her dead brother and sister-in-law or the vote she was about to cast past but was on all the ways she had bested Ellie over the years Ellie turned her back on her lifelong Nemesis only to see Jack McBride drive up and park across the street Christ she murmured she closed her eyes lifted her head and inhaled deeply when she exhaled and opened her eyes Jane's ice blue eyes met hers too much knowledge resided there Ellie looked away the opposite direction from where Jack came from Jack stopped at their little group ladies Ellie put a smile on her face and turned to face him Chief how is the case going Jane asked I expect to make an arrest today or tomorrow Ellie couldn't hide her surprise so soon Jack's eyes held hers and he nodded good job Jane said that'll be an important notch on your belt before Doyle gets on the council we'll see is he here inside voting Ellie said it will Jane said ignoring Jack's question and Ellie's response as long as I'm mayor you'll have a job don't you worry about Doyle's threats bombastic rhetoric from a blo heart done with Jack she turned to Ellie are the developers from Dallas coming today no I rescheduled why because Matt was murdered the Henry isn't going anywhere they'll be here next week if we keep pushing them off they might lose interest they won't lose interest Ellie rubbed her for head a headache was coming on it's under control Jane you should go home Marta interjected I will come over with some soup you will feel better soon thank you Marta but I'll be fine you two should get out of this cold I'll call you later Jane the two walked off slowly leaving Ellie alone with Jack Ellie kept her gaze fixed on the two El ly German women for as long as possible to avoid looking at him she felt a slight pressure on her elbow and turned to face him concern and pity were clear on his face don't look at me like that are you okay no I'm not okay I'm losing badly I'm not talking about the election Ellie raised an eyebrow Julie told you about this morning Jack nodded is there something you need to tell me is there something you need to tell me Jack's expression morphed to puzzlement Julie could barely run today she was so sore insatiable I believe is what she called you jack shoved his hands in his pockets he couldn't meet her gaze Christ swiped her fingers under her eyes to banish The Unwanted tears I don't want to know here come the Doyles I'm leaving I have a business to run Jack stopped her with a hand on her arm Ellie we need to talk she stared into his eyes hating herself for crying for showing any emotion at all and wondered if this would be the last time she would be close enough to smell him to see the golden Flex in his brown eyes I don't know that we do chapter 37 Jack didn't have time to fully comprehend what Ellie said before she was walking off and the Doyles were walking up Mary Doyle wore a vacant drug induced expression Michelle tried to hide her revulsion which Jack suspected was directed at her mother Doyle's commanding voice shattered the crisp morning air into a thousand pieces do you have news McBride I do Jack turned to Michelle could you come to the station for the first time since he'd known her Michelle looked surprised me why do you need to talk to me just a few questions clarifications ask them here Doyle said Jack glanced at the steady stream of Voters coming and going the vote for Joe's signs that outnumbered Ellie 10 to one the campaign buttons seemingly on every voter's lapel jacket had the foresight to remove his before he got out of the car how many buttons did you buy what kind of question is that 5,000 Mary Doyles quiet voice broke in Mary Doyle was one of those older women you see who are always perfectly put together whose clothes somehow always looked like they just came from the cleaners her hair and makeup would always be perfectly in place despite humidity heat wind or cold and she probably hadn't never left her house without her lipstick on her perfume was faint but noticeable and tasteful one karat diamond earrings were clipped on each lobe she was a woman whose quietness either confirmed a timidity or masked a deep-seated strength she met Jack's eyes steadily I ordered them Jack smiled encouragingly at the grief stricken woman Mrs Doyle I'm so sorry for your loss thank you Chief McBride she sniffed despite what Joe and Michelle said say I know you'll catch whoever did this I will Mary Doyle nodded and slumped back into her trance Michelle are you ready Jack said yes I'm coming with you Doyle said no dad take Mary home I'll bring Davey no need Michelle and Jack walked to his car you don't want a lawyer I have nothing to hide Jack opened the passenger side door of his personal car he closed the door behind her and said I doubt that no in here Michelle stopped outside of Jack's office and glanced at the breakroom which doubled as the interview room she Shrugged entered and sat down Jack closed the door and sat across from her he placed a manila folder on the table between them Michelle pointedly didn't look at it first things first you have the right to remain silent what anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law are you arresting me you have the right to an attorney if you cannot afford one one will be appointed to you if you give up this right you really don't want to keep your job do you McBride no need to worry I mirand eyes everyone I had a problem with that in a case once I told myself never again do you understand your rights as I've told them to you yes good do you want a lawyer I don't need one do you know Paco Morales my lawn guy Michelle said non lost what does this have to do with my brother did he work for Matt sure Paco did Matt and Dad's yard too Michelle leaned forward I'm confused why are you asking me about Paco Jack pulled a photo from his folder and slid it to Michelle one of these bodies was Paco Michelle wrinkled her nose at the charred bodies and their melted faces she turned her head away I think I'm going to be sick Jack removed the metal trash can from beneath the sink and set it next to Michelle's chair in case you're being sincere of course I am she was pale Jack sat down when was the last time you saw him I have no idea months probably but he did your yard weekly it's November in case you haven't noticed they did the yard when we were at church Jack placed a picture of the scorched button in front of her you don't remember giving him a vote for Joe Button she laughed and regained a bit of her color she flipped over the picture of Paco's charred body mcde I haven't handed out any of those stupid buttons they were mom and dad's idea she focused on the second picture why don't you cut to the Chase and tell me what's going on we found this campaign button at the scene of the fire with the bodies it has your fingerprint on it [ __ ] you haven't asked who the other victim was Michelle crossed her arms and remained silent Diego Vasquez it was a small lie Jack and Dan weren't sure who the second victim was and might not ever know but all signs pointed to Diego Vasquez there was a direct connection between him and Paco Morales through esparon Perez Morales was known to Harbor illegals and Jack's gun had been the murder weapon Vasquez was either victim or perpetrator and making him the victim suited Jack's game at the moment he was pleased to see Bluff hit the mark I don't know who that is she said shifting a little in her chair everyone in Stillwater knows who Diego Vasquez is I know the name but I've never met him how do you think it is that a known cartel assassin and your lawn guy end up murdered together I guess Paco sold drugs could be but how does a campaign pin with your print get there there too Chris probably gave them out to all of his workers but it wasn't your husband's print we found on it I'm not saying another word until my lawyer arrives Jack put the paper back in the manila folder closed it and leaned back in his chair suit yourself he wondered if she would remember she told her father not to bring Davey after a few minutes he leaned lean forward you want to call him who your lawyer her eyes widen slightly she had forgotten Jack slid his phone across to Michelle use mine if you like Michelle reached into her purse pulled out her phone and called Davey he's on his way she said when she hung up she looked out the window Jack flipped over the photo of the charred bodies and placed pictures of Matt and Amy's dead bodies on the table next to it unable to control her curiosity Michelle glanced down she gasped and her face ped Michelle swallowed a couple of times but couldn't overcome her disgust she bent over the side of her chair and threw up in the trash can she sat up and wiped her mouth [ __ ] [ __ ] Michelle crossed her arms and clenched her jaw so hard a muscle pulsed near her ear logic would say Matt and Amy were payback but I have evidence it's not the break room door clattered open and Joe Doyle barreled through a flustered Norman Davey on his heels we're done here Joe said we are Jack agreed Shake can leave Davey asked asked Jack nodded she could have left 10 minutes ago Michelle huffed in irritation and pushed herself away from the table scraping the metal chair across the industrial tile floor she walked out the door pushing it against the wall with a bang Doyle stepped right up next to Jack and said you're going to pay McBride yes yes I know when you win you're going to fire me I've heard it before it's a promise Jack got in Doyle's face and said in a low threatening voice good luck doing that from jail you son of a [ __ ] Doyle's eyes widened slightly before his face turned a model red come on Joe Davey said pulling on Doyle's arm Doyle let his lawyer pull him out of the office once Doyle was on his way down the hall Davey returned I told you yesterday everything goes through me nothing said here is admissible he caught sight of the photos and visibly recoiled oh Lord Jack held up the metal trash can the Tangy scent of Michelle's vomit almost sent Davey over the edge Davey stepped back and waved the trash can away Jack carried the trash can out of the break room but stopped in the doorway you might want to get Michelle a lawyer with a stronger stomach Miner watched the interrogation through the double-sided glass window in Jack's office there was an arrogance in Michelle that showed itself in an eerie calm and directness Miner always thought offputting but would she kill someone in Cold Blood if her nausea at the sight of the burned bodies and Matt and Amy was any indication she wouldn't have the stomach for it which was shocking Michelle fostered the image of being a badass tougher than anyone else Miner bought most of it but everyone had their weaknesses and it seemed as though Gore might be Michelle's which only meant she would order a hit but she wouldn't do it herself Jack entered the office you get it on tape Miner shut down the camera yep what do you think Jack went to his computer and opened his email program you rattled her for sure I guess your gun rules out Brian Grant as a suspect for Matt and Amy it would seem so I can't imagine a scenario where Brian would get my gun from Diego Vasquez unless Kyle killed Morales and Vasquez and gave my gun to Brian but why would he do that they they weren't close and my gun wasn't with Brian's guns don't mean he didn't have it somewhere else I didn't search maybe Brian was with Kyle when he killed Paco and Diego Jack mused he shook his head immediately no I don't buy it last week Brian still thought he had the doyle job he wouldn't have been desperate enough to get involved in his half brother's illegal [ __ ] Miner chewed the inside of his mouth the button bothers me Jack looked up from his computer screen why doesn't make sense it only has her print on it you're right it doesn't you think someone is trying to frame her who would hate her that much well most every woman in town hates her but few have the stomach for four murders and arson my money is on the padroes but why kill your own man if you're wanting to send a message to the local organization maybe they found out Diego was a DEA informant Miner's phone vibrated in his pocket he ignored it but we think the padroes planted him with the DEA and why would the padroes kill the one Doyle who isn't involved in drugs to make their enemies have to live with it Jack nodded almost in agreement I'm not ruling out the padroes but Matt and Amy's murders feels more personal there was no sign of forced entry so the killer either knew the garage code which would mean family or Matt had to let his killer in the house why would he let a cartel man in no it doesn't make sense of the four people without Alibi Saturday night which one would have access to Diego his gun your gun who wanted to set up a meeting with the padroes Michelle whose fingerprints were found at the scene Michelle's Miner clicked his tongue against his teeth it's too Pat he mumbled why would she kill Matt what's her motivation jealousy resentment daddy issues does Michelle doy stri you as a woman with daddy issues Christ yes classic daddy issues Miner shook his head nope not buying it his motivation Miner rested his hands on his holster Matt left the neighborhood about 1 what if he drove by di saw some activity and stopped to check on it Jack's eyebrows raised and confronted Michelle and threatened to expose them Miner felt a kernel of belief bloom in his chest that out by so would I jack sat back and rested his ankle on his knee would a woman who vomited at the sight of Gore have the stomach to blow two people's brains out no but she'd sure as hell tell someone else to do it Kyle Grant or your brother Jack remains silent have you called his Alibi yet going to do it after this you today we'll compare notes go on your phone is about to buzz a hole in your pocket now you go fill in the blanks for the Doyles but not too many Jack fiddled with the piece of paper with his brother's Alibi written on it and thought back to 6 weeks earlier Eddie showing up right as the drug war started getting a job with Doyle Industries agreeing with little encouragement to spy on Doyle sneaking back into the yard Friday night the phone ruse but most importantly the quality of information he'd given Jack no Superfluous details succinct and to the point Jack laughed as his memories and reality of the last 20 years shifted then fell into place he shook his head and dialed the number hello hey [ __ ] Eddie no Tom it's Jack in the drawn out pause Jack imagined the internal calculations running through the mind of Tom Hunter his old DEA counterpart the agent who was supposed to be working with the York County task force the son of a [ __ ] who'd been running his brother as an undercover agent for years probably all the while working with Jack and making snide Jabs about his loser excon brother [ __ ] her Jack how'd you get this number Eddie gave it as his Sunday Alibi Tony hunt not very imaginative I suppose you have to keep it simple now now don't be all bitter you would have done exactly the same in my place jack clenched his jaw to keep from saying something he would regret Tom chuckled it's just as well your brother is burned out he's the best agent we have the one with the best cover you mean me and my mother yeah came in handy quite a few times helping his brother get out of jail might have been good for Eddie's career but had been a weakness in Jack for years was he with you yeah I can vouch for him starting when he made contact with our Dead Drop about 2 a.m. relief coursed through jack he'd never truly thought Eddie had killed Matt and Amy but to have it confirmed was hardening where are you holding Kyle Grant you figured it out don't act so surprised jackass Eddie said he dropped Kyle in Dallas and gave your number as his Alibi you're right it's not rocket science [ __ ] you I want to talk to Grant he wants to talk to you says he knows who killed Diego Vasquez Jack shot up out of his chair I'm leaving now fine I'll meet you in segoville you want to talk to malun too Fred malun yeah your brother didn't tell you he shot him what no good boy I told him not to why old rivalries Die Hard bastard I'll be there in 2 hours I'll be waiting for you chapter 38 Miner felt like he was in a scene from The Godfather Joe Doyle brooded behind his desk Norman Davey leaned against the credenza his eyes never leaving Michelle who paced the office phone against her ear Chris sat on the couch near the door Eddie's not answering she stared at her phone he's probably in the middle of Houston traffic he'll call when he gets there she glared at Miner MC BR seriously thinks I killed my brother of the suspects you're at the top of his list who are the other suspects Chris asked the other three people who don't have an alibi Michelle threw up her hands who are there's a limit Michelle she walked toward Miner oh really how does your wife like her pain meds huh because I can make sure she never gets another oxy in her life do that and I'll make sure Jack and Sheriff Newberry know everything I know about your little organization little organization you don't know [ __ ] Pard told me more than you think Michelle laughed Pard thinks you're an idiot sure you want to take that chance enough Joe said why does McBride like Michelle for this no one else has a motive except Brian Grant what exactly is my motive daddy issues Michelle's laughter was harsh are you [ __ ] kidding me daddy issues Doyle said that's what McBride is basing his case on Michelle turned to her father a bit of the tension easing out of her he's got nothing when Eddie gets back he'll confirm my alibi and McBride will have to move on to someone else or have to look into his brother for it which he won't do did Eddie do it Miner asked no and neither did I Michelle said who are you with Miner asked Michelle pursed her lips with Eddie like I said why didn't you tell Jack the truth from the beginning because I thought my husband would be my alibi maybe next time give me a heads up on what lies I'm supposed to tell Chris said Michelle rolled her eyes don't you have a golf game or something already played Chris stood I'll get the kids to Matt and Amy's visitation you obviously don't need me to plot world domination I don't need you for anything Michelle mumbled Chris walked out seemingly o oblivious Michelle you've really [ __ ] this all up Michelle rounded on her father her face a mask of indignation what I haven't done anything two dead Mexicans and Matt and Dy how are either my fault I never had a meeting with the padroes it takes time for Kyle to go through his channels it's not like I have them on [ __ ] speed dial watch your language young woman Michelle clammed up but her face turned beat red where is Kyle Doyle said he's dead Michelle said Doyle's expression was like Granite how do you know when they were dealing with malun Kyle went after Eddie and Eddie killed him did he I can't hear this Davey said then leave Michelle shot back you're [ __ ] useless anyway Michelle Doyle roared he stood and walked around the desk he loomed over his daughter Miner admired Michelle for not looking cow but he suspected the strength it took for her to stand toe-to-toe with Joe did you see the body her brows furrowed in confusion who body Kyle's yes Doyle's derision filled voice made Michelle flinch no then how do you know he's dead Doyle's eyes never left his daughters monor do the feds have an undercover agent in our organization yes Michelle's head twisted around to Miner don't you think you should have told me that when I gave you the big [ __ ] bag of pills Miner Shrugged I'm telling you now Michelle lunged for Miner but caught her don't blame him for your incompetence me you've been too busy spreading your legs for Eddie McBride to see who he really is that's not true Doyle still gripped Michelle's arms you even [ __ ] him in my office haven't you Michelle recoiled but Doyle held her fast where'd you do it my chair my desk you're hurting me you've always been a [ __ ] just like your mother Michelle's head jerked back as if slapped Miner stepped forward Joe that's enough Eddie's not the narc who is I honestly don't know mcbad doesn't even know Doyle pushed Michelle away from him she stumbled back and turned her back to the men wiping at her eyes you better find out tonight minor or I'll go and take those pills from from Teresa myself and I'll make sure no doctor within 100 miles writes her a prescription for a [ __ ] aspirin composure regained Michelle turned on her father you son of a [ __ ] I was setting up the truce with the pis for you get rid of McBride crime goes down you're the [ __ ] Town Hero and we grow our business without competition then your golden child caught us at the yard Saturday night and was oh so shocked his wonderful upstanding father would be involved in something so immoral the derision in Michelle's voice dripped from every word like syrup I didn't kill your [ __ ] of a son but I'm not sad he's dead Miner saw the blow and watched Michelle fall to the floor in slow motion Davey knelt beside Michelle immediately Miner was too stunned to speak let alone move Davey helped Michelle stand on shaky feet she brushed him off roughly Davey's face hardened rened and he stepped next to Doyle whose Granite expression was tinged in red whether in anger or embarrassment minor wasn't sure Michelle's chest heaved and she touched the Angry Red welt Rising on her cheek y'all are ignoring the real problem Miner said McBride has evidence putting Michelle at the murder arson crime scene that's as much [ __ ] as me killing my brother she glared at her father maybe but it's enough to get a warrant there's nothing to find you better hope not Doyle finally turned to Miner it doesn't matter Doyle said because minor will make whatever they find disappear won't you Miner minor thought of Teresa at home painfree for the first time in weeks of his promise to Jack that he would tell him everything the doy asked him to do account for every scent they gave him lucky for minor Michelle paid him in pain pills the answer rolled off his tongue easily yes chapter 39 Jack was being waved through security at the Federal Correctional Institution in segoville when his brother called where are you Jack said Bucky's parking lot on 45 with a load of di drugs get me some Bucky's balls would you sure ask me where I am where are you jack I'm pulling into segoville to talk to your two witnesses there was silence on the other end of of the phone you still there Eddie you aren't angry I'm furious but Bucky's balls might keep me from kicking your ass you tried that a few days ago and lost well this time I'm on the side of righteousness Jack parked and cut the engine honestly I don't know whether to hate you or be proud of you I've hated myself enough for both of us Eddie said Mom and included probably not when did it start the night you met Julie someone connected me with the son of the future lieutenant governor and brother of a law student recruiting you for the FBI was part of it too the shot to Jack's ego was deep nice to know our government has been manipulating us for 20 years well we've done a little good so I can forgive them Eddie sighed God what a wait off you don't know how long I've wanted to tell you does Mom know no make sure I'm in the next state when she finds out Jack got out of his car and locked it so you were bringing Fred and Kyle to Dallas Sunday morning why the [ __ ] didn't you bring them to me Michelle would have known you had Kyle Grant in custody as it is she thinks he's dead what dude it's a long story hey I'm sending you an audio file use headphones I've got to get on the road and you've got to do your [ __ ] and get back to meet Ellie at 10 where her lake house she'll think I'm meeting her so be ready to have to convince her to stay she is not happy with you she can get in line I've seen the error in my ways nurse have you Fred the nurse squeezed the bulb of the blood pressure cuff I have and it's all because of the attentions of a fine woman like you I'm married Fred Fred's arm tingled from the tightening cuff I won't tell him if you won't the nurse released the valve uhhuh she ripped the cuff off and stuffed it in the metal basket on the wall how's your pain one being no pain at all and 10 being excruciating six I notice you've eaten some she jerked her head toward the plate on the tray table the food here is terrible it's a prison Fred I didn't do nothing wrong wrong place at the wrong time is all story of my life if you want to know know the truth have you gone to the bathroom no ma'am but if you'd get me some whiskey I imagine it' go right through me I thought you'd seen the error in your ways the nurse smiled I have and that's a fact but whiskey is proven for medicinal purposes maybe in the 19th century someone knocked on on the door and it opened Jack McBride stuck his head in is he decent nurse it's decent as he's ever going to be I'll check on you later Fred I'll countd down the minutes she rolled her eyes as she walked past Jack well well look what the Cat Dragged In Fred said Jack placed a box on Fred's tray table those my shoes they are I also brought you a honey bun Jack pulled it from his pocket I told you my life was worth more than a honey bun you're still alive aren't you no thanks to your brother Jack pulled up a chair and sat down how are you feeling I've got a bullet hole in my shoulder so I see tell me what happened from the beginning Fred sighed he'd already told the story to the fat fed and didn't particularly want to tell it again he was tired and his throat felt like sandpaper Fred flipped the lid from the box and lifted out a shoe the leather gleamed in the fluorescent Hospital lights the soles were smooth and thick they looked brand new Fred dropped the shoe back in the box and slapped the lid down he cleared the lump from his throat and started I was just trying to get warm it was cold Sunday morning you know they' locked all the trucks in the yard so I went around the buildings to try and find one open I didn't and I'd hunkered down by an AC unit when I heard all the commotion couldn't hear a whole lot through the walls but but I heard plenty when they were outside yelling at each other who Michelle and Matt Sunday morning you sure considering your twin brother shot me that day yeah I'm sure what were they yelling at each other something about Matt not believing what he was seeing Michelle telling him to keep his mouth shut or else do you remember specifically what she said no about that time someone grabbed my shoulder and I pissed myself not my finest moment who that little [ __ ] stain Grant he's always been a little weasel he frog marched me into the truck barn and there was Michelle and your brother confering where was Matt didn't see him Grant wanted to kill me right there but Eddie talked them out of it make a big mess harder to get rid of a dead body than to drive a live one to his grave well it was a mess of an argument but Eddie won Michelle though I could tell she didn't trust Eddie 100% so she told [ __ ] stain to go with us I knew I was a goner for sure we drove through Yorkville and Eddie stopped at the waterburger to get taquitos asked me if I wanted any last meal and all I didn't though now I wish I had a taquito sure sounds good right now damn s better than a honey bun I'll bring you some Taquito next time I come Eddie ordered the most fool thing you can imagine and we drove on drove West all night until we were in the middle of nowhere somewhere South of San Angelo I think finally stopped next to an oil well then we started walking by this time [ __ ] stain was pretty pissed off let's just kill the [ __ ] and get back Eddie told him I'm sure okay if we wanted the body to be found [ __ ] stain stopped to take a leak and Eddie pushed me forward told me to run and to fall when he shot me shot me I said yeah if you want to live you've got to play dead go so I ran and the some [ __ ] shot me in the shoulder damn fine shot come to that I fell and laid dead like he said I heard some commotion don't know rightly what happened since I was playing pawsum might have drifted off not sure next thing I know I hear a bunch of cars pull up then leave then here comes your brother with a first aid kit and some water takes care of me right nice apologizes for shooting me and sends me along with some mouth breathing fed no offense Chief none taken they bring me here and operate on me and here I am so you heard Michelle threaten Matt I did this is important what exactly did she say Jesus Chief I'm a 70y old alcoholic I can't tell you anything exactly fine what do you remember Matt said something like you wouldn't hurt me and Michelle said don't [ __ ] count on it the chief stared at the shoe box as if it held the secrets of the universe what do you care about that aren't you investigating the one-armed Soldier fire I guess you haven't heard Matt and Amy Doyle were murdered early Sunday morning you don't say and you think Michelle did it you know I can't tell you that well I bet you're barking up the wrong tree why once they decided to get rid of me they were pretty free and easy with their conversation took a while for Michelle to calm down but Eddie eventually got her settled encouraged her to have Joe talk to Matt bring him around Jack stilled as if holding his breath or his excitement did she call Joe while you were there yep she hung up and said her dad was going straight over chapter 40 Kyle Grant I got to say you rocked the orange jumpsuit brings out the Crazy In Your Eyes Kyle leaned forward across the table and tried to grab at Jack but his handcuffs stopped him they rattled against the metal table [ __ ] you and your brother McBride these charges are [ __ ] I didn't try to kill your brother though if I saw him right now I might his public defender put her hand on Kyle's arm Mr Grant when Kyle sat back the woman extended her hand to the federal prosecutor sitting next to Jack I'm Andrea Armstrong Mr Grant's attorney she was in her mid-30s at least and didn't look harassed or beaten down by the system Jack guessed she was starting her second career Tanya Porter the prosecutor said her West Texas draw is thick as the day old coffee in the styrofoam cups in front of them Jack had worked with Tanya many times she was a byy the book Pitbull he had done a mental fist pump when he saw her purposely striding down the hall to the interrogation room threatening to kill his best agent like that isn't the best way to endear you to special agent Hunter back there Jack jerked his thumb at the glass behind him Kyle sat back I told Michelle not to trust him but she was too busy sucking his dick to listen to reason really Kyle there are ladies in the room don't mind me I'm not easily offended Andrea Armstrong said Jack didn't need to see T roll her eyes to know she did it Jack tilted his head or are you jealous Michelle throw you over when my brother came to town Kyle looked away Bingo you've been here before you know how this works I know the feds lie promise you [ __ ] they never intend to give then throw you to the wolves and that's not the way to ingratiate yourself to me Tanya said Jack continued as soon as Michelle and Joe Doyle hear you've been picked up they're going to pretend they don't even know who you are Norman Davey will twist things around so much M Armstrong won't know which way is up don't count on it Jack heard the smirk in Andrea Armstrong's voice you'll take the dive for everything we have on them and they'll pin things we don't even know about on you I don't think you have anything on them Jack knew the only Bluffs that ever worked were the big Bluffs you do know this investigation isn't just me and County right the DEA and FBI were looking at Doyle way before I even heard of Still Water they've got wire Taps informant up and down Texas and down to Mexico heard of Diego Vasquez he sang a good song about Buck Pard and Joe Doyle they've got Doyle for a laundry list of stuff I couldn't care less let the DEA and FBI follow the drugs and money all I care about is solving four murders and agent Hunter said you can help me here's here the question Mr mcpride why would Mr Grant want to help you Andrea Armstrong said because if you don't the Tex SS might hear you've been working with the padroes you're heading back inside for breaking parole Kyle lost some of his bravado no one will believe you you were supposed to set up a meeting between the padroes and Michelle right how exactly would you do do that through Paco Morales he hid Vasquez at the country club didn't he when did you put two and two together who's Vasquez Andrea asked Jack addressed the lawyer Diego Vasquez is the Pedrosa frontman for York County he beat me up and stole my gun my first day as chief that was a bad day he turned his attention back to Kyle did you contact Morales to set up the meet with Vasquez who went with you or were you alone Kyle smirked at Jack Jack knew Kyle had been in enough interrogation rooms to know they had nothing on him apparently his lawyer realized it too I think we'll take our chances she said Jack Shrugged and Rose with what charge attempted Mur Mur against a federal agent I didn't try to kill him kidnapping Fred moldun I wasn't kidnapping him right I meant conspiracy to murder then there are your parole violations Eddie's testimony about your involvement in the doyle drug organization you're absolutely right taking your chances is the way to go Andrea Armstrong leaned over to whisper into Kyle's ear they conferred for a moment before Kyle nodded I didn't kill Diego Vasquez but I know who did how do you know I was there Andria Armstrong put her hand on Kyle's arm nothing else until we talk deal Tanya took over he pleads guilty to assaulting a Federal Officer and he gets 5 years minimum security somewhere on the East Coast away from the Tex SS and the pedres Kyle shook his head no 6 months Andrea Armstrong said the minimum sentence for all of his charges is 30 years 5 years is a steal Tanya said you're assuming I'd lose ten grinned like the cat that ate the canary obviously Andrea Armstrong didn't know her opponent T hadn't lost a case since 1989 she turned to Kyle do you want to gamble 30 years of your life on a new lawyer Andrea Armstrong bristled but Kyle shook his head two years Andrea Armstrong said minimum security T narrowed her eyes and pursed her lips Jack could tell she was disappointed at the Lost opportunity to put Kyle Grant away for a long time but she also knew how important it was to get Grant to talk Dale Tanya opened her briefcase write it up Andrea said trying to take command then he'll talk Tanya paused and glared at Andrea Armstrong she pulled out a legal pad and clicked the end of her pen still glaring at the Young lawyer she shook her head wrote down the outline of the deal and signed it sign this we'll work up the official form while you talk to McBride Andrea Armstrong read the form nodded to Kyle who signed it Tanya took the legal pad tossed it in her briefcase and left who killed Diego Vasquez Jack said Michelle killed Paco and Diego Michelle Doyle with your gun the gun Diego had how did you get it from him I overpowered him it was only you and Michelle there meeting with Diego and Paco no one else nope why did you meet in the one-armed soldiers house huh why there why not out in the country somewhere there's plenty of rundown Barns and old houses in York County why pick one on the edge of town Michelle wanted you to investigate it another example of you being incompetent why burn the place down we would have ided Diego much sooner if he hadn't been burned that was an accident I tossed a cigarette and the place went up like a Tinder Box what happened to the gun Diego's when I told her it might be yours she kept it as a souvenir minor case meeting with everyone tonight at 8:00 p.m. order in from Mabel's it's going to be a long night Jack closed out the text app as Tom Hunter walked down the hall toward him you may keep your job after all Hunter said when Jack glared at him Hunter said Eddie mentioned you were under some pressure out there you could say that you like it small town living Jack thought of Ellie of Ethan settling in and making friends and of all the nice people he'd met in the last two months they far outweighed the doy of the world yeah I do good glad you're happy Jack wouldn't have exactly used that word but let it slide you haven't let Grant make a call have you I'm not a [ __ ] amateur McBride uh-huh you ready to search di Hunter nodded yep your ex- partner is working on a warrant for their financials Alex is working this case yep ask to be put on it probably hoping to run into you you two had a thing going didn't you no uh-huh I've got a warrant being delivered to a federal judge right now to search Di's businesses first thing in the morning when's the funeral tomorrow at 300 p.m. Hunter nodded appreciatively they won't know what hit him chapter 41 deciding against decorations was the best decision I've made in 2 months the book Bank was officially closed for Ellie's postelection Victory party but since there was nothing to celebrate and no decorations it looked like any other Tuesday evening and thank God Paige worked behind the counter serving those few people who wanted a Snicker doodle latte instead of the free tea or caes on the display table that usually held Christian fiction omish Mysteries and devotionals which had been wiped out Sunday afternoon it's a testament to how much people like you that they're buying stuff instead of taking the free Kelly said Ellie drank the drags of a Diet Coke from a red Solo cup the ice crinkled when she set it down I should have opened a bar you might have won if you had Ellie's lips fluttered when she sighed I didn't want it anyway liar I am a liar Ellie stood it but not about that once we get rid of everyone I need to talk to you sure are we going to need wine for this conversation you might I have some upstairs oh good lord Kelly said what Here Comes Julie McBride Ellie turned and saw Julie and Ethan walked through the door her stomach clenched she hadn't seen Ethan since the September night he caught her in Jack kissing in the book Bank office the horrified expression on Ethan's face had been what Ellie thought of when Jack told her his wife returned you could have died Claire he said if pan hadn't checked on you when she got home from the beach I would be picking out your casket right now I'm sorry you're sorry you were unconscious Claire knock knocking yourself out literally over the godamn chandelier two arms left CLA thought involuntarily then she thought he's right I've been brainwashed I am not myself how to return to myself quit leave lock tell Isabelle to take her petite Suare and go to hell the door opened and the doctor swung in well he said I hear you're lucky to be alive they were at an impass Claire promised Jason she would stay out of the hot shop for one week but doing so pushed her past her self-imposed deadline and she only had two arms left just two she could do it she knew she could she had pulled two perfect arms in an hour and she had it down now the formula the Rhythm she said to pan I'm going to work for 1 hour will you check on me in an hour pan touched her front pocket where she kept her cell phone Claire knew this meant that Jason had told pan to call him if CLA tried something like this never mind CLA said I won't work but of course she sneaked out only seconds after pan pulled out of the driveway to take the kids to the beach she found the door to the hot shop secured with a padlock she called Jason at work you're a jerk you know that you saw the lock he said she hung up she nearly called Siobhan but Siobhan would take Jason's side she had already taken Jason's side saying when she dropped off Tupperware containers of chicken salad and marinated cucumbers it's not worth what you're doing to yourself Claire so Clare called lock even though Lo was in the office and not free to talk she told him what had happened the chandelier the heat the sweat the fall the hospital the fight the padlock he's a dictator she said of Jason he thinks he's my father he's not my father no lock said he's not keeping me out of my own hot shop keeping me away from my work is wrong wrong lock said what am I supposed to do CLA said said leave she looked out the window at her Shackled hot shop and go where lock was quiet right it was easy for him to take her side anything to put him in opposition to Jason anything to make Jason the bad guy and him the hero okay now Claire was defending Jason Jason wasn't letting her in the hot shop because he cared about her well wellbeing the chandelier was making her crazy she did need a break leave and do what fly to WEA it was unfair for lock to tell her to leave when he had no intention of leaving himself Claire there was a voice in the hallway truly incredible Jason was home at 2:00 in the afternoon I have to go CLA said and she hung up she opened the bedroom door and found Jason standing there his face a livid purple his arm outstretched and trembling in his palm was the key here you go he said take it she took it he turned on his heels and marched out she held the key until it started to sweat in her hand this was what she wanted Jason was trying to make her feel like it was wrong it was wrong all of it was wrong she had been abducted where was the old CLA missing dead gone she closed her eyes and the thought that came to her was this two arms left she filled the thermos with ice water and headed out back 49 minutes and 18 tries into it she had her seventh arm into the analer one more arm she was giddy with her impending Triumph tomorrow was July 8th and Isabelle would arrive and Claire would be done the backbreaking work would be finished blowing the cups out would be as easy as blowing bubbles with the kids on the back porch Claire went back to the pot furnace and took another gather the first key to success was getting the right amount of gather on the puny this looked perfect Claire took the gather to the marvering table and rolled it in the precious pink frit The Gather cooled against the table so CLA went to the glory hole and reheated then she took the gather to the bench and rolled it grabbed her pliers and pulled and bent and twisted and rolled she went back to the glory hole got the piece good and hot again tweaked it some more she thought of the swoop she felt in her stomach when she saw lock that swooop was what she wanted to recreate with this glass she thought the arm looked pretty good pretty close she heated it up she tweaked it a little more and feeling optimistic she pierced the arm lengthwise with a long needle this was delicate surgery a procedure that had ruined dozens of good arms so that there would be a thin tunnel through which to thread the wires it was impossible to tell how good the arm was however until she held it up to the globe impossible that she would have pulled two perfect arms in a row but yes when the piece had cooled enough to pick up with tongs Claire saw it was the missing piece of the puzzle it fit like Cinderella and the godamn glass slipper impossible but true Claire had hit a home run she had po Ed the eightball with two Banks she had won the pot with a royal flush she had served an ace she had skied a black diamond run and kneee powder ringer hole in one touchdown goal her self-righteous Eli however was her worst enemy she dropped the eighth and final arm on the way to the analer she was shaking with joy and nerves and truth be told thirst and it shattered at her feet later that night as she lay in bed all cried out all done apologizing to her husband and to God and to herself she recalled the myth of Copus it was his job to roll a boulder up a hill again and again and again the task was never ending when CLA was a glassblowing Apprentice her Mentor had told her that story satisfaction was not to be gained from finishing the task satisfaction was to be gained from the process she feared that like Copus she would never finish the last arm of the GD chandelier was her Boulder to push and push again it was her punishment the caller ID said Isabelle French and Siobhan couldn't help herself she picked it up then immediately regretted it Isabelle French wanted Siobhan to cater a party that very night well not a party exactly more like an evening at home Isabelle said and Siobhan thought it was a joke her speaking French because it was her last name but no Isabelle spoke in Earnest the Suare and team was the invitation stuffing for the summer Gaya I'm thinking all American picnic food Isabelle said to Siobhan Fried Chicken deviled eggs my grandmother's bread and butter pickles if I give you the recipe you'll make them make them Siobhan repeated she did not want to cater this intimate evening at home she wanted to turn down everything related to the summer Gaya she did not want to make Isabelle's grandmother's bread and butter pickles I know it's last minute Isabelle said so I'll pay you for your time and effort say $3,000 Siobhan coughed how many people I'm not sure exactly less than 10 Siobhan started scribbling down ingredients in her notebook what time 7 I'll be there at 6 to set up Siobhan said she could be bought especially since Carter had lost $600 on Wednesday and 400 on Sunday with the Red Sox he had to stop gambling that [ __ ] instant she told him or she was going to call a hotline he promised he would but that's how all addicts were right they promised until they were blue in the face and carried on behind your back Siobhan had opened a bank account that Carter knew nothing about and all the checks from this summer were going right into it he wouldn't be able to touch a penny Siobhan had catered at Isabelle's house before and had gotten all of her ogling out of the way the first time the house was technically on the wrong side of the street not on the Harbor that is but situated on a little Hill overlooking the harbor it wasn't a huge house but it was spacious and Airy and perfectly appointed there was a koi pond in the front foyer which would have shouted overstatement in anyone else's house but in Isabelle's house it was a delightful surprise she had a bright well equipped kitchen which opened onto the enormous room she normally used for entertaining the Suare and team however would take place out on the sun porch where two gaming tables had been set up side by side and topped with smooth brown leather surfaces Isabelle had ordered floral arrangements of purple and white irises white Gerber daisies and fragrant Asiatic lies that were as big as dinner plates one wall of the sun porch was screened Windows overlooking the water and Siobhan was to set up the buffet along the back wall she had made the fried chicken as well as potato salad marinated string beans corn fritters deved eggs and the pickles the pickles had been a snap and they turned out perfectly Siobhan was keeping the recipe to use again she had also baked chocolate chip cookies and Peach and blueberry hand pies the All-American picnic had taken all day to prepare but the first thing Isabelle did when Siobhan arrived was to hand her the check $3,000 thank you Siobhan said Thank You Isabelle said she leaned over and kissed Siobhan on the cheek which took Siobhan by surprise Isabelle was holding a rather full glass of wine though she didn't seemed drunk just excited and nervous was the invitation stuffing a big deal Siobhan had called CLA while she was filling the deviled eggs to give her the update CLA was a gas to find that the invitations stuffing was being catered at all she's calling it a Suare and team Siobhan said an intimate evening sheay French oh Jesus CLA said well thank heavens I didn't offer to have it at my house it would have been crying children and a bag of Fritos and Jason kicking us out at 9:00 so he could watch junkyard Wars Siobhan had laughed at this they had laughed together Siobhan wanted to ask Claire if lock would be attending the Suare and team but she hadn't been able to mention Lock's name even once since the day Claire confessed they were having an affair Siobhan did not bring any help to Isabelle's house Carter was doing a dinner party for 40 people in sconet an event they now jokingly called lron Suare and he'd taken Alec and two Dominican bus boys SL dishwashers with him Isabelle gainly pitched in helping Siobhan carry dishes from the van to the buffet table on the sun porch when they were finished Siobhan stopped to look at the invitations they were set up on one of the gaming tables a box of invitations response cards envelopes a dish of water a tiny sponge and a roll of stamps at each Place Siobhan lifted one of the invitations carefully from the box it was as heavy and creamy as a wedding invitation Siobhan felt her eye rise up the amount of money spent on these invitations how many were there 2,000 was enough to pay for daycare for one of nantucket's children for a year lovely Siobhan said mhm Isabelle murmured she sipped her wine then picked up a sheet of Vellum printed with names and waggled it in the air these are the committee members she said I noticed your name is on here is it Siobhan said she checked the Vellum Mrs Carter Crispen and gave a little laugh well I told CLA I'd help out but I haven't done very much no Isabelle said half the people on the list are people I recruited and most of them don't even speak to me they won't help won't lift a finger they might not even attend but because they agreed to serve on the committee they will send a check and they lend their name to our event but they're ghosts ghosts Siobhan said eyeing the Vellum I know it drives Claire mad having people on the committee who aren't willing to roll up their sleeves but that's the way the game is played there were footsteps and a woman entered the sun porch lugging a large instrument trapped in a black body bag I'm playing in here the woman said to Isabelle darra hello yes over there in the corner I think don't you Isabelle turned to Siobhan this is Siobhan the caterer Siobhan this is darra the chist a chist Claire said she had been inside for 15 seconds just enough time to take a glass of champagne from Siobhan's tray and catch strains of cello music floating in from the other room she hired a chist flew her in from New York she plays with the Symphony No Claire said but Siobhan didn't answer it was her rule strictly enforced not to fraternize with guests of any event and that included Claire let's go I after Siobhan whispered in an attempt to end the chitchat CLA said I can't Siobhan gave her a scowl which Claire did not see because at that moment lock Dixon walked in he smiled warmly at sioban hello Siobhan hello lo champagne Claire was smiling too and drinking her champagne and fidgeting with the straps of her sundress Isabelle swooped in from God knows where lock they kissed on the lips as Siobhan and Clare watched there they were Siobhan thought The Cook the Thief His Wife her lover or something like that Lo said do I hear music Isabelle said darra is here I know how you love the cello Clare turned to Siobhan Siobhan looked into the koi pond which babbled happily at their feet Gavin Andrews walked in stiff and smarmy as ever followed by Edward mellor Siobhan grounded her mullers together $3,000 was not enough compensation to deal with Edward if she had thought for one instant that he would be here she would never have taken the job it seemed amazing to her that she had ever ever kissed him hugged him rubbed his feet chewed his ear ruffled his hair slept with him declared her love for him agreed to marry him she flashed back to the instant that she had flung his engagement ring at him screaming it's over Edward his face had screwed up in pain that memory she found satisfying but because Caterers were among other things actors she smiled champagne Gavin Edward Gavin took a glass with a sniff Edward took a glass then reached out grabbed Siobhan's chin between his thumb and forefinger and kissed her flush on the mouth Siobhan would have slapped him had she not strictly enforced the no hitting guests at any event rule hello beautiful Edward said she would have stabbed him in the gut with a serving Fork regrettably the taste of him lingered on her lips jyn he had been to a party before this and she didn't have a hand free to wipe it away even worse Siobhan felt a pulse between her legs the kiss had aroused her impossible she abhor the man involuntarily she thought of pressing him up against Isabelle's Subzero refrigerator she thought about making him so hot that he begged for for her he had kissed her with authority with ownership how dare he she hated his self assurance the tray of champagne wobbled in Siobhan's hands and for a second she pictured it toppling into the koi pond damn Edward she had not dropped or spilled anything in more than two years Edward approached Isabel and shook her hand Siobhan stole a glance at him at his shirt neatly tailored across his shoulders at the Bulge of his wallet in the back pocket of his khakis they drank a lot only six people and Siobhan could not keep the glasses full and too she was busy making sure the food was perfect she warmed the fried chicken and softened the honey pecan butter she had made to go on top of the chicken she fried the corn fritters last minute on Isabelle's Viking Range and brought them out piping hot she offered the fritters to Edward first and he popped one in his mouth and burned his tongue Siobhan clucked careful they're hot no question about her role she was the hired help this never bothered her she had a strong work ethic and almost no Pride of the deadly sin variety she liked to listen to EES drop she did it all the the time on the job even when serving her best friend and her ex fiance she was invisible a fly on the wall she like darra the chist was very pleasant background music first she watched Claire Claire's cheeks were flushed she drank quickly she chinged her fork against her plate more than once and she fussed with the napkin in her lap as if it was a bird she was trying to calm she was sitting next to lock this was the first time Siobhan had seen them together side by side and it was revelatory shioon knew the truth she was the only one but it was like looking at the optical illusion of the old lady and the young lady at first your eyes saw only the old lady but then when someone pointed it out aha yes the beautiful young lady how could I not have seen it earlier it's so obvious Lo and CLA were turned toward each other they spoke addressing each other under the table Siobhan noticed from behind their legs were touching though just barely it was happening under everyone's nose Siobhan was also acutely aware of Edward he was drinking heavily more Jin splash of tonic a quarter lime she knew how he liked it and he was being funny and Charming ing as always but he was punctuating his stories with long penetrating looks at sioban that seemed to rise and swell with the strains of the cello Siobhan caught him looking once and he did not look away they were stuck there hooked together his look was saying well what else would it say I want you and Siobhan's look was hopefully both enticing and defiant you can't have me Isabelle's voice sliced into Siobhan's thoughts Claire have you bought your table yet there was a weighty pause Isabelle asked the question loudly at the exact time that darra finished a movement so that the room was suddenly silent and the question took on the import of an announcement or a challenge to be risen to Claire's answer was Meek not yet but you will take a table right $25,000 that way you'll be UPF front next to me and lock everyone looked uncomfortable except for Gavin who merely looked interested take a $25,000 table sioban thought that was absurd well not for Isabelle and not for lock not for for Edward maybe but for Claire yes $25,000 was a new car it was a Year's worth of mortgage payments it was not something Claire would or could toss away in one night Isabelle Siobhan decided was an evil woman for asking CLA in front of everyone look at poor CLA her cheeks were burning and now the red splotches were popping out on her chest Siobhan was in the process of offering the table more pickles she had not dropped or spilled anything in more than 2 years but what if the pickles were to end up in Isabelle's lap right now Adams Fisk said everybody donates what they're comfortable with no one expects CLA to buy a $225,000 table why not Isabelle said she's cheering the event as am I and I'm taking a $25,000 table it's expected that we lead by example Lo took a breath as though he were about to speak and Siobhan thought yes stick up for your girlfriend prove to me that you love her but Edward who honestly could not keep his wallet in his pants for one second said I'm in for a $25,000 table CLA raised her face she had been staring at the lonely deviled egg on her plate me too she said Claire Adam said CLA Siobhan thought are you out of your mind what CLA said I am the co-chair Isabelle is right it sets an example and I've put money aside she was lying her gaze was fixed back on Mr Egg Siobhan whisked cla's plate away and nudged her discreetly CLA looked up Siobhan shook her head you don't have to play these people's games it was like she was always telling Carter anteing up money you don't have doesn't make you ballsy it makes you stupid lock jiggled the ice in his glass and said that's great everybody thank you it's great for the cause they moved to the next table and got going on the invitations it was dark now Siobhan brought out dessert and coffee and cordials Dara the chist packed up and went out front to wait for her cab Siobhan cleaned up in the kitchen this was normally her favorite part of the evening wrapping up leftovers for the boys getting ready to go home but tonight right now Siobhan was rattling around distracted upset it was so many things Claire lock Edward Carter and his gambling Isabelle Siobhan decided that from now on she was only going to take jobs from nice people good people she would not work for Isabelle French again there was a glass of champagne remaining on the silver tray no longer chilled but who cared Siobhan drank it down she felt better then lighter less serious Claire's problems were not her problems they were such good friends that it seemed this way sometimes but no Siobhan felt hands on her waist and then a warm mouth on the back of her neck she was well trained in self-defense and Instinct nearly had her elbowing Edward in the sternum she refrained however and managed just enough twitch to shrug him off go away Edward you're beautiful Siobhan and you taste like a peach the hot dishwater was fogging Siobhan's glasses so that when she turned she couldn't really see him but then her lenses cleared and he was on her kissing her again she was aroused appalling she had spent so long disdaining Edward and his annoying if tangential presence in her life that she had forgotten he was a skilled kisser but she would never have spent four years of her life with someone who wasn't a skilled kisser or an extraordinary lover Edward had been an extraordinary lover very con considerate not as animalistic maybe as Carter but attentive and confident yes she remembered this as he was kissing her then she pushed him away stop it Edward I'm crazy about you look at me she looked she was very very angry with him but oddly her anger propelled her toward him rather than away from him she wanted to punch him to pound him him he had never been able to see her for who she really was her own strong clever capable person and she wanted him to see her now she led him into Isabelle's Pantry which was big enough for a king-size bed God what a hypocrite she was so self-righteous with Claire and now look at her the pantry was dim it smelled very strongly of truffle salt which was coincidentally one of Siobhan's favorite smells Siobhan could hear the other guests chatting out on the sun porch she should check on their drinks light the citronella candles she would in a minute over Edward's shoulder she spied tapioca baking powder baking soda a jar of black peppercorns a jar of Pink Pepper corns a tin of Coleman's dry mustard and a small Crystal jar of truffle salt 3 oz of the stuff worth about $440 Edward was looking at her expectantly she liked this she was driving the bus she was in charge she inhaled deeply and Edward inhaled deeply also as if they were playing a game of Simon says but Edward either didn't notice the head he scent or he noticed it and didn't know what it was the man understood nothing about food was she going to kill Edward again here in Isabelle's Pantry she was not help me take some things out to the van Siobhan whispered he agreed happily when he turned to leave the pantry Siobhan popped the jar of truffle salt into the pocket of her Chef's jacket what was she doing she felt like an encourageable teenager the kind who dyed her hair fuchsia pierced her tongue and hung around padil circus thieving from a client she put the Truffle salt back on the Pantry Shelf Edward was lingering by the kitchen sink Siobhan pointed to covered dishes and platters drying upside down on dish towels and Edward picked them up and followed her outside the night air surrounding Isabelle's house smelled like rugosa roses and Honeysuckle and the only sounds were the Crickets A car pulled up to the end of the drive driveway and Edward and Siobhan both watched as Dara and the cab driver wrestled the cello into the back of the cab then the cab disappeared and the lights that their movements had turned on turned off again just like that it was dark Siobhan set the platters safely in the back of the van as did Edward then he grabbed her by the hips and they kissed and His Hands went right up inside Siobhan's Chef's jacket she was consumed once again with Fury wasn't it just like Edward to assume that he could flip Siobhan like an egg over easy wasn't it just in accordance with his view of the world to assume that she would feel the same way about him as he felt about her she did not feel the same way she was livid and she would tell him so she had no intention of following CLA Into the Dark Forest of adultery despite the fact that Carter had been unfaithful and untruthful with and about the family's finances Siobhan was going to make Edward see her and hear her and then she would rip herself away but at that second something happened Edward stopped he pulled back he touched her face ran his thumbs over her cheekbones then over her lips he pushed her glasses up just as he used to when they were dating Siobhan had always loved this gesture she had to admit that in all her life no one had paid as close attention to her as Edward she thought of the cailes he'd sent when Liam broke his arm the Bell had rung and she opened the door saw the delivery person with an armload of cailes and knew they were from Edward I still love you he said I haven't stopped loving you for one second oh oh Siobhan said she knew this to be true and yet the words caught her by surprise or else it was his tone of voice that caught her by surprise it was very tender you hurt me Edward said when you left when you turned right around and married Carter my heart broke Siobhan nodded she was too stunned to speak you didn't feel the way about me that I felt about you Edward said you were right not to marry me in that case but here it is more than 10 years later and I'm still in love Siobhan's anger shrank until it was like a pebble at her feet that she could kick away she did not allow herself to revisit the demise of her relationship with Edward very often often mostly because she had behaved regrettably throwing the ring in Edward's face and 6 months later marrying Carter in Ireland she didn't like to see Edward because seeing him reminded her of the person she'd been then a woman who would break an engagement and immediately take up with another man Siobhan had not allowed Edward any closure when he came to her house to talk Carter was there and Siobhan had asked Edward curtly to leave awful she still had the ring the beautiful and expensive symbol of Edward's love and commitment in her jewelry box the ring taunted her she had not been able to get rid of it to take it to a pawn shop or sell it on eBay because why because of something Siobhan herself did not understand because she had been waiting for something she had been waiting maybe for tonight Siobhan pressed her head against Edward's chest Edward was a good man a good person he would be a wonderful father and an amazing provider Siobhan had not loved him enough or in the right way and there was no crime in that but there was a crime in not behaving like a decent human being facing Edward all these years even the Blurred glimpse of him as they passed each other in their cars had meant facing her worst failure she couldn't apologize however she didn't have the words at her disposal and she feared anything she said would sound lame or overwrought not to mention 10 years late so she raised her face and she kissed him as Softly As she possibly could and the kiss stirred her it excited her in a way she had forgotten she could be excited and soon they were kissing crazily they were two people in a movie kissing and sucking and pawing each other she was going to follow Claire Into the Dark Forest she was going to Shag Edward she would sin but it would be humiliated in a way by Siobhan's making things right with Edward she would be giving him something he'd been waiting for for 10 years where there in the back of the van the back of the van was cluttered with dishes her Chef's jacket was now open exposing her camisole underneath and Edward's shirt was unbuttoned at the top she could see he was ready to go and she was certainly ready her mind flickered to Claire Isabelle lock all still inside right blotting glue on the envelopes with the dainty sponges peeling stamps discussing the names of the people on the invitation list he's the one with the house on Shamo Road whose wife died of and then the next summer he married a 25-year-old was anyone looking for Edward or Siobhan most certainly not everyone inside was drunk anyway my car Edward said the hood of my car Siobhan thought he was kidding it would be bad enough when she confessed to Father Dominic about the adultery but imagine the look on Father's face when she told him it had happened on the hood of Edward's Jaguar but Edward had a point the hood of his car was tucked under the branches of a large tree even in the dark it was in Shadows and it was the car parked farthest from the house yes hurry they were sneaking now tiptoeing over the crushed white shells of Isabelle's driveway Siobhan felt Lawless and heady was she really going to do this it seemed so just the one one time and it was Edward an old lover not a new lover did that make it any less treacherous than what Clare was doing Clare was in love that was her justification Siobhan was not in love with Edward she had fallen out of love with Edward or had never been properly in love with him she had lied to him about that or had misrepresented herself the LIE had broken his heart and she felt guilty and so now here she was sinning in order to make things right it made sense to Siobhan but it was also perfectly [ __ ] up would she go to hell would she and Claire go together she smelled somebody's cigarette who's out there a voice shouted Edward whipped around hello he said he held Siobhan with one hand and the other hand flew to his shirt buttons Siobhan clenched her sh jacket together in front and peered around Edward Gavin Andrews came crunching around the corner when he saw Edward and Siobhan he shouted ah and Siobhan screamed ah Gavin put a hand to his heart Jesus he said you scared me I thought there was a burglar out here a burglar Siobhan said thinking automatically of the Truffle salt but she had put it back no burglars Edward said it's just us yes Gavin said taking a drag off his cigarette I can see that they stood for a moment in awkward silence okay Siobhan thought she was not going to Shag Edward Gavin Andrews of all people had arrived like a sign from God and put a stop to it now Siobhan had to worry about what this looked like did it look like she and Edward were about to Shag on the hood of Edward's car oh God Siobhan hoped not it was safe to bet that half the gossip on the island of Nantucket started with Gavin Andrews I was helping Siobhan put dishes in her van Edward said somehow he had gotten his buttons done and his shirt straightened and he looked perfectly normal and presentable but sioban looked like she had just fallen out of bed after a legendary ravishing how's everything inside oh Gavin said he blew a stream of smoke through his nose fine they had both had a lot to drink and it was very late nearly midnight but an opportunity like this didn't present itself often so they took it they drove to alter Rock and looked at the Moon it had been nearly 2 weeks since they'd been alone together and although they talked every day they hadn't really talked and so as Claire lay in Lock's arms she told him all of the things that she'd been saving up for him that she loved him that she missed him that her heart was lonely starved suffocating without him she wasn't sure how much longer she could go on this way he kissed her neck the Eiffel Tower he said the post office I know she murmured I know play cards eat Big Macs go to the movies do the things that other people did do them together she'd had a lot to drink and it was affecting her here she was in the middle of the night in the most beautiful place in the world alter Rock the highest point on the island was not much more than a hill but it looked out over the Moors and ponds this was her home in the Moonlight she was only going to be alive once shouldn't she be happy she didn't know how much longer she could stay married to Jason and have lock stay married to Daphne she and lo were in love she desperately and stupidly blindly and completely she was a slave a goner she would give up everything for him but was this true could she really imagine a future with lock what would that look like would she move out inconceivable would he move out more conceivable but where would he go he couldn't live with Claire in Jason's house would they both move out and get a place together where would the kids go with her presumably she could not imagine life without her kids but neither could she imagine Lo living with her kids she fantasized about a life with Lo but she realized that this would have to take place in an alternate reality one where they had no jobs no responsibilities no ex-spouses or children to care for no friends no connections they would have to move to ibisa two displaced strangers and start over Claire felt like a marionette lock could swoop in and clip all the strings that were tying her to her current life but then she would collapse lifeless she would be a person without form the worst thing about adultery was that it made you see your life for what it was something that was nearly impossible to escape Claire cried a little at this and lock squeezed her and whispered hey it's okay I'm here I love you I know she said they saw each other so infrequently now that when they did have time together it became weighted and Tangled with emotion this was Claire's fault she had worries to soothe and problems to fix she was becoming tiresome even to herself I should go she said he released her she wanted him to say not yet or so soon but he simply agreed yes he said it's late Claire's head was buzzing from the alcohol Claire checked on each one of her kids all of them sleeping even Zach in his crib Jason was snoring softly in their bed he had taken the kids for pizza and ice cream and to the playground at Children's Beach mom has another meeting he seemed resigned to life with without her he was making the most of it enjoying it even and Claire had a somber vision of Jason packing the kids up and whisking them away leaving her alone God she deserved it she lay awake fretting about this where would they go Yellowstone Bar Harbor they would go someplace Jason could fish and then she worried about other things lock the chandelier money she had made a promise she couldn't keep she had agreed to take a $25,000 table part of her had known all along that she would do this that she would never be able to eat crow and say sorry I can't afford it it was a matter of pride in front of Isabelle in front of Lo she had lied and told everyone at the table as well as Siobhan who was floating around the table that she had set money aside this had sounded feasible but it was not remotely feasible Claire had gone over their finances again and again she and Jason had sizable IAS which could not be touched and they had $42,000 in savings there was no way Claire could demolish more than half of their savings on the Gaya she had told herself that after the Gayla she would make an effort with her business and solicit a new commission from Mr Fred bull rush or Jeremy Tate Friedman but now Claire couldn't even pay the electric bills for the shop much less get ahead to the tune of $25,000 she had considered going to the bank and taking out a loan and paying it off over the next calendar year that seemed like the most responsible course of action until she thought of Matthew Matthew had millions and millions of dollars now that best was out of the picture there was nobody and nothing for him to spend it on it couldn't hurt to ask she vacillated between this train of thought and the fear that indeed it could hurt to ask Matthew could flip out call her a vulture she hadn't spoken to him in 12 years she had called him out of the blue and asked him to play a free concert and he had said yes wasn't he doing her enough of a favor she would pay pay him back with interest but to this he might respond that he wasn't a bank and he wasn't a lone shark he had Once Upon a Time been her friend but he didn't appreciate being prayed upon now in this vein she had talked herself out of calling several times but now it was dark it was quiet she had had some drinks and she had enunciated a promise that could not be denied she dialed Matthew number hola Matthew it's Claire Claire Danner Buenas noes chica I knew it was you because you're the only person who still calls me Matthew other than my mother am I you are how are you it must be the middle of the night there it is Claire said he sounded sober this was a good thing sober at 9:30 at night home and not out at the clubs drinking or carousing with 17-year-olds to take his mind off Bess I didn't wake you did I no no he said I was just lying on the sofa with my burets which language Spanish you can never know enough Spanish and Portuguese you may think the two Lang languages sound alike but they are in fact quite different you got a d in Spanish Claire said what's the deal gives me something to do keeps me out of trouble I'm shooting air baskets grabbing it straws I don't know what I'm doing well I'm coming to see you 6 weeks I can't wait I miss you I miss you too Claire swallowed listen I called because I have the world's biggest favor to ask you the answer is yes whatever it is I need to borrow $25,000 silence oh God Claire thought I got myself into a real mess with this Gayla I'm the co-chair and my other co-chair is a very wealthy woman named Isabelle French and she has managed to bully me into taking a $25,000 table for the Gaya and I don't have $25,000 and I can't even broach the possibility with my husband or he will kill me so I ran through all these other options and the one that seemed the least painful was to borrow the money from you but I'll pay you back I swear silence oh God CLA thought had he hung up what if he didn't play the Gaya at all now the possibility had not occurred to her until this very second Matthew I'm looking for my checkbook you are you mean you'll lend it to me well we can call it alone but to paraphrase my favorite ex-wife if you send me a check I'll rip it up but Matthew CLA relax it's just money right but it's a lot of money do you remember when we were kids he said and your grandmother sent you a hundred bucks for your birthday Claire racked her brain a check from her grandmother 16th birthday was that what he was talking about yes what did you do with it I we got our ears pierced right you paid for me to get my ear pierced and you paid extra for a diamond stud you told me I would never be a proper rock star unless I had a diamond stud and you bought yourself 14 karat studs which were cheaper yes CLA said she actually did remember this driving to the mall in Rio Grand and sitting in a chair at The Piercing Pagoda they convalesced in sweet Jane's Kitchen both of them holding ice cubes to their earlobes trying not to cry how many times did you give me five bucks so I could put gas in the Volkswagen yeah but that was only five bucks how many times did you pay for kettle corn or slushies how many times did you pay for beer you had a job you paid sometimes too you paid for dinner before the prom my father gave me the money but what I'm saying is when I didn't have it you paid for me no questions asked you gave me everything you had there was no line drawn between what was yours and what was mine he paused I'd like it if things could still be that way so I'm going to write this check and I don't want to hear about you paying me back oh she said Jesus she thought she might cry but she was too relieved to cry thank you does this $25,000 table mean you'll be sitting up front front and center good Matthew said then it's worth it when she hung up it was 1: in the morning but Claire felt like it was full daylight bright and sunny her chest cavity she realized had been filled with concrete but now the heaviness was was gone and she could breathe Matthew would send the check in the morning and Claire would have her $25,000 table problem solved should she press her luck something was telling her yes she wasn't at all tired and the effects of the alcohol were fading she pulled a Coke out of the fridge exchanged her sandals for her clogs and left the house quietly for the hot shop she spent a long time looking at the chandelier maybe that was the difference she turned it in her hands scrutinizing meditating other times when she came into the hot shop she was in a hurry stressed worried would she finish today how long would it take how many tries her forearms were in a constant state of fatigue and ache the muscles were becoming ropey but now Claire studied the chandelier she pictured The Arc and dip and twist of the fin arm and she saw how the piece would look completed she pulled it on the first try as she knew she would she rolled The Gather in the frit and as she pulled and twisted the final arm came into being she pierced it with a steady hand she held it up yes no question about it then gently set the arm in the analer tomorrow she would blow out the cups piece of cake she went back into the house qu to 2 suddenly she was very sleepy she shed her clothes washed her face brushed her Teeth did her ritualized rinsing of the sink Basin and wiping of the Granite vanity top then she fell into bed feeling light clean and empty as though she didn't have a care in the world once the invitations had been mailed response cards arrived every day some bearing credit card numbers some bearing checks Gavin kept the checks in a neat pile on his desk and when he got a stack of 10 he went to the bank to deposit and skim Claire dropped off a check for $25,000 Gavin could not help mentioning this to lock Claire took a $25,000 table she did yes lock Rose from his desk and came over to look at the check as Gavin knew he would well she said she was going to and she did Gavin said the influx of money from the Gayla tickets made Gavin giddy his stock pile was getting bigger and bigger he had moved it out of the utensil drawer in anticipation of his parents arrival on August 1st and stuffed it in a green LL bean duffel bag under his bed it was so much money he was afraid to count it and yet he was no longer afraid of getting caught the letter to the women's shoe company as it turned out had been perfectly fine he marveled that he had ever feared otherwise his Affairs were in order his Trail was covered meanwhile the people all around him were committing indiscretions First Lock and CLA and then the other night Siobhan Crispen and Edward mellor he should get out of theft he thought and into blackmail Isabelle called now every day to see who had responded who had merely sent donations who had requested seating with whom did the Jaspers respond they did not what about Kavanaugh sent a donation how much $1,000 that's it that's it Isabelle sighed they have more money than Beckham they could have sent 10 times that much but they didn't because of me Gavin did not know how to respond he felt he was growing closer to Isabelle he felt that perhaps she was calling so often because she wanted to talk to him did Kimberly Posen respond not coming sent a donation not coming no Gavin said but she sent 2500 this was met with silence she used to be my best friend Isabelle said I'm her daughter's godmother oh you're sure she's not coming I'll check again he said Gavin wanted to make Isabelle happy he wanted to give her good news when she next called he said your friend Dara Kavinsky is a yes and so is aster Wyatt darra is the chist Isabelle said and Aster did the invitations he's my graphic designer why is it the only people who are coming are the people on my payroll as the days passed Gavin found himself thinking more and more about Isabelle French she was sexy he decided alluring classy and disillusioned he was perhaps the only person in the office who realized that everyone Isabelle had personally invited to the Gaya had said no and sent a donation it's because of my divorce Isabelle said it's like a disease people are afraid they'll catch it I hate being single was this a clue for Gavin to ask her out she had been so nice to him at the invitation stuffing she had seated him next to her she had touched the back of his hand in a way that sent a shiver up his arm and at one point she had nudged him with her foot under the table Gavin had ended up being the last to leave there was a full moon and Isabelle invited him to walk outside to see her Moon Garden she had a circular plot planted with night blooming white flowers evening primr she said and four oock which were waxy and luminous in the Moonlight and she had a moon Fountain a sphere made of Honey onx a little bigger than a bowling ball that glowed from within as water trickled over it and made it spin the moon Garden was the kind of magical place that Gavin was hoping to discover in his travels he was in awe to his embarrassment he teared up Isabelle was holding his arm she was wearing heels in the grass and they'd both had a lot to drink and he wondered if he should kiss her but in the end he'd been too intimidated a woman with enough aesthetic imagination and money to create a moon Garden she designed the fountain herself she said was beyond him now of course he regretted his cowardly decision and he wondered if he would ever summon the balls to ask Isabelle out he entertained a fantasy where he bedded Isabelle French at her house because he could never in a million years take Isabelle to his parents house or maybe he could before the 1st of August and pretend it was his would she buy this he and Isabelle could become lovers he would not need the duffel bag full of money because she would support him but here his enthusiasm waned despite his lack of ambition he did not want to be a kept man and so he returned to the notion of grabbing a fistful of cash out of the duffel bag and taking Isabelle for a romantic dinner at the shant Clair then seducing her cut the escalating flirtation with Isabelle made the incessant ringing of the phone more palatable but the calls were mostly from teenagers asking how to get Max West tickets in the beginning Gavin took great pleasure in saying this isn't Madison Square Garden you know it's a charity benefit the tickets are $1,000 a piece gasp ,000 yes Gavin said would you like to buy a pair click now however he had tired of that song and dance it made him feel like Scrooge or the Grinch announcing such an outlandish price quashing hopes then then there were calls from the tent people the tables and chairs people the underwriters how much signage where for how long the production people lights speakers Ferry reservations would the crew House have a grill and the caterer Genevie whose purpose in calling it seemed was merely to double triple check that she still had the job perhaps the rumors of Siobhan and Edwards being together had made it farther a field Gavin was single-handedly piecing together the Gayla he secured fairy reservations for the enormous truck that was bringing over the tent he confirmed that there would be housing meals and a grill for the production crew he got the alcohol permit from the town he tried to talk Isabelle off the ledge the van Dykes are a yes Gavin said do you know them no Isabelle said they must be friends of Claire's Gavin pointedly did not keep any notes with each phone call he became more and more indispensable Claire was effusive God thank you Gavin what would we do without you you deserve a raise in September when this is over I'm going to bring it up at a board meeting I'm going to tell them what an enormous help you've been I could not do all this myself I simply do not have the time Daphne called since discovering lock and Clare in the off office back in April Gavin had done his best to keep his conversations with Daphne short and to the point oh hi Daphne would you like to speak to lock he just stepped out I'll tell him you called Gavin could not gossip with the woman while keeping a huge secret from her himself he had limits he even at times experienced guilt Daphne had no idea about her husband's infidelity or rather she had every idea but she had identified the wrong target was it cruel keeping the news of Lock and Clare from her or was it kind Gavin chose kind he was old enough now mature enough sophisticated enough to realize that really what you didn't know what you might never know couldn't hurt you this day Daphne did not want to talk to lock she was adamant about that from the beginning I'm calling to talk to you Gavin I want to tell you something surprisingly the something she had to tell him was not about a third party not about the postmaster dating a 20-year-old Bulgarian house cleaner not about Janette hicks's being addicted to diet pills which gave her insomnia which led her to prow the Cumberland Farms at 4 in the morning and shoplift a 99 cent bag of caramel bugles instead Daphne said lock tells me you're doing a a fantastic job you my friend are a wizard I hope you're planning a nice long vacation after this is over someplace exotic you deserve it darling I'm proud of you well thank you Daphne Gavin said he hung up the phone impressed a conversation with Daphne and not one sideways reference not one Barbed word only sincere praise or a passing along of praise because she wanted him to know he was proud of himself one night when Gavin was getting ready to leave at 5:00 heading home where he would sit on his parents' deck looking at the ocean drinking wine smoking listening to Mozart reading his Lonely Planet guide to Southeast Asia Vietnam was sounding better and better lock stopped him Gavin Gavin stopped by the door Lock's tone of voice was ominous was this it then Gavin wasn't prepared think whip out the weapon he had the knife sharpened in his mind all he had to do was wield it Gavin smiled expectantly his mind a whirlwind what was it he had planned to say before you contact the authorities let me say one thing I know about you and Claire I came into the office one night in April I saw you two together lock was slow to speak he looked pained God this was torture Gavin stood there caught in the force field of the Insidious thing he had done stealing from the very cause he was working so hard to promote and he was overcome with remorse and nearly unbearable disgrace lock was going to put a name to his acts theft robbery embezzlement this acknowledgement alone would kill Gavin committing the crime was one thing but having it exposed was quite another had he learned nothing from taking advantage of Diana prel in the broom closet or from the debacle at cap and Lehi Gavin experienced what could only be described as a pure unadulterated shame he was as they said in certain Asian cultures losing face Gavin understood this turn of phrase now even as he stood waiting for lock to lower the hatchet his face was stiff and burning he could not look lock in the eye so he gazed Beyond lock out the 20 pained window into the late Summer Afternoon lock arose and approached him instinctively Gavin backed up but he was not fast enough to get away lock caught him clapped him on the shoulder I know things haven't been easy around here lock said Gavin's eyebrows shot up he thought of Rosemary pinkle and how disappointed she would be she was such a nice woman and she believed in Gavin tomorrow he was supposed to join her for drinks in her garden with a niece she wanted him to meet with the Gayla I mean all the phone calls Isabel pushing you one way Claire pulling you the other Gavin nodded uncomprehending his parents were due in next week they would not appreciate arriving to Scandal Gavin wasn't quite sure what they thought of him he had never been quite sure but he knew it wasn't terribly good he hadn't measured up somehow and I just want to say thank you you're doing a great job lock squeezed Gavin's shoulder in emphasis so firmly that it hurt I am Gavin said reflexively he breathed out his fear I'm so grateful if this Gayla comes off in the legendary way I think it will it's in no small part because of your hard work oh Gavin said but you're not off the hook yet lock said no Gavin said the worst is probably still to come you think Gavin said yes lock said chapter 10 he blows it there was only one time previously in his life that had been as frenetic and difficult as this summer he had been in the process of buying a company one bigger than his own he had someone else handling the financing so that he could focus on the negotiation which were primarily with an older gentleman named Gus McAvoy who owned the other bigger company and who was reluctant to sell most of Lock's dealings were classic m&a stuff pages right out of his business school textbook but that didn't make it any less stressful or consuming and to make matters more complicated Daphne was at home with Heather who was 18 months old and driving Daphne crazy Daphne had undergone surgery to remove her ovaries a few months before and she was still in pain and was suffering from a hormonal imbalance when lock got home with all that was going on in the office this was sometimes not until 8: or 9 at night Daphne was alternately whimpering fuming or despondent her life she said was tedious beyond belief it was Sesame Street and peekaboo and endless puttering up and down the street while Heather picked a dandelion or put a pebble in her mouth or ran ahead stumbled and cried Heather threw her food instead of eating it Heather spilled things she broke things she ripped Pages out of Daphne's magazines she fussed unless Daphne read The Runaway Bunny 300 consecutive times she had to be held she screamed in protest every time she had her diaper changed Daphne took her to the playground and one of the other mothers made a sideways comment because Daphne was reading the New York while Heather was playing in the sandbox I was not cut out to be a mother Daphne said I want to put her up for adoption Lo had laughed he thought Daphne was kidding we're not going to do that he said well you don't get a vote Daphne said because you're never home those days had been hard but they'd survived lock bought the company with Gus mako's blessing Heather grew quickly into a Charming little girl for a while there her mother's best friend and lock told himself he would survive this summer The Gaya would make them enough money to fund all of their programs and initiatives and start an endowment and he and Claire would be able to get back on track right now however the relationship was floundering CLA blamed him and to avoid further arguing he accepted the blame he apologized there was little he could do what had happened was this he and Daphne had been eating dinner on their deck it was hot so they'd ordered Sushi washing it down with silver gin fizzes this sounded Pleasant in the telling but Daphne was growing more belligerent and demeaning with each sip of her drink talking about this person and that person wondering aloud about the sexual preference of these near strangers and then ultimately wondering about Lock's sexual practices with Isabelle French rather than engage Daphne in that fight once again lock stood up to clear the dishes and there ascending the stairs from the front door was his daughter Heather lock nearly dropped the plates she had come home the vineyard Heather said was crowded and noisy there was traffic there there wasn't anything for teenagers to do and Desiree's parents never wanted to drive them anywhere because of the traffic so they sat in the house bored and they bickered Desiree said if you hate it here so much why don't you just go home so here she was lock hugged her you can always come home sweetie your rooms are all ready for you God am I glad to see you dap was still on the deck possibly carrying on her invective with herself lock didn't want her to see Heather yet he didn't want her to ruin it Heather might leave as suddenly as she'd come as it was she would be here for more than 4 weeks it was a gift he'd never expected it did not sit well with Claire she was naturally happy for lock happy that lock was happy but Heather's presence put a limit on when they could see each other now after work lock went right home he and Heather drove to the beach and they swam lock was teaching Heather to Surf cast she caught a blue fish on the second night Heather had to train for field hockey which would begin as soon as she went back to school so she Rose early and went running but lock didn't like to think of her out on the dirt roads around their house alone the roads where Daphne had had her accident so lock began getting up early and going with her he needed to lose weight anyway he couldn't meet CLA late at night when he had to get up at 6:00 in the morning to go running he couldn't meet Claire because he and Heather were surfcasting or he and Heather were renting Night at the Museum or he was taking Heather to the Pearl for dinner or Heather was at the movies with her friends and from there was going to the juice bar for ice cream and from there was going to hang out on the Strip when the hanging out was over 11:00 her curfew you lock had to pick her up that's perfect CA said you can stay with me until 11: tell Daphne were working on the seating chart Right Said lock but Heather might need me before 11: if she wants to go home early you're kidding me right CLA said he had expected her to be more understanding she had four children she was a slave to their schedules as much as he was to Heather's I have to be available for her lock said he was terrified that Heather would get bored and take off that she would find fault with him or with Daphne and leave Claire's kids were younger they were not at the point yet where they could use their own wings but just wait until they do Lo said it will throw you for a loop you will understand then where I'm coming from Claire said I feel like I've been replaced I feel funny doing this when Heather's on the island he said she's always been away at school or on the vineyard now that she's here I feel worse about it somehow like I'm betraying her Claire narrowed her eyes how dare you say that what I have children too I have four sweet adorable children at home but I don't throw them down in your path to make you feel guilty do I I leave the kids out of it Heather isn't any different because she's yours she's not better or more special than my children I wasn't saying she was you were so you said you felt like you were betraying her all of the kids are getting betrayed Lo I've had to live with it since last fall he kissed her head you're right I'm sorry she pulled away you are so hurtful you are so arrogant God it infuriates me he was tempted to let her go even a few weeks ago this would have been Unthinkable he needed Claire his happiness depended on her but Heather was his daughter his only child did he have to keep explaining it I'm afraid she's going to leave he said I have to do everything humanly possible to keep her here Clare pinched the bridge of her nose I'm going she said lock checked his watch okay he said CLA flew down the stairs I love you he called out she slammed the door he saw her again a few days later and he apologized they were both under a lot of stress he said once the Gayla was over things would get back to normal what exactly is normal Claire said he laughed but she did not find it funny he changed the subject I saw you bought your table for the concert Matthew paid for it Matthew Max West he sent me a check you're kidding me I didn't have the money not even close you said you had money set aside I lied Jesus CLA if you needed money you could have asked me what you could have asked me I would have happily bought your table and what exactly would you have told Daphne she wouldn't have noticed she wouldn't have noticed it all goes through our accountant lock said I wish you had asked me instead of hitting up your old Rockstar boyfriend did you actually just utter that sentence CLA said what what lock said I would have liked to come to your rescue I wish you'd asked me instead of Max you're picking a fight with me I'm confused why did you feel you had to lie to Isabelle isn't it obvious no it isn't there was no pressure for you to take a $25,000 table yes there was you imagined there was don't be an ass lock there was pressure we have to lead by by example I am leading by example we have to sit up front together she was doing a fair imitation of Isabelle's voice and lock smiled don't laugh it's not funny I was bullied into it well you didn't end up paying you should be happy happy she said she was angry now her lips were pale and bloodless and her cheeks were blazing he needed to let this subject go was he affronted that she hadn't asked him for money yes he was a little bit he grabbed her I want to be the person who fixes your problems I want you to turn to me but I can't clear said I love you madly and badly but I can't depend on you for anything because you're not mine and you'll never be mine will you that was the question the affair had seemed so right when it started it had been the answer to his prayers but with each passing day it got more complicated he felt himself sinking and he wanted to sink he wanted to become utterly consumed with CLA but he couldn't take the final step and leave Daphne he was certainly not willing to do it with Heather at home I'm giving you everything I have he said you're giving me everything you have Clea said but it's not enough it's not he said the next day Benjamin Franklin treasurer of the nantucket's children board of directors walked into the office and asked lock to see the financial records since the audit Lo glanced at Gavin's desk Gavin was out for the afternoon his parents were arriving on the island that evening and Gavin needed time to Spruce the house up get his father's Cherokee serviced buy flowers and wine for his mother etc etc Gavin would know where the financials were he would be able to explain it all to Ben Franklin wouldn't you just know that Ben Franklin would come while Gavin was out frustrating why do you want to see them Ben lock asked this was after all an unusual request Ben Franklin was reluctant at best about being Treasurer lazy at worst he liked Gavin to do all the work for him and Ben wasn't the sharpest knife in the drawer anymore lock studied him did he even know what he was asking Ben chuckled my granddaughter Eliza works at the bank as a summer teller and and I'd like to look the books over to see what it is you're trying to hide hide Lo said Gavin keeps the most impeccable books you've ever seen he stood up and Ben trailed him to Gavin's desk lock opened the filing cabinet financials 2007 to 2008 a manila folder with the bank statements he pulled it and handed it to Ben and I need the donor log Ben said and a copy of the most recent budget yeah yep yep lock said trying not to sound impatient one of Ben's 20 million grandchildren worked at the bank as a summer teller and for this reason Ben wanted to see the financials it was a complete non sequitor lock logged on to Gavin's computer pulled up the files and printed them out Ben Franklin and lock were silent as the pages printed lock was preoccupied with thinking who on the current board might replace Ben as Treasurer it was a thankless job nobody wanted to do it lock handed the sheets to Ben There You Go sir I'm sure you'll find them all in order Ben tipped an imaginary hat I'm sure I will they made a PCT no more fighting things had become tense between them I feel like you're squeezing me in Claire said it's felt that way to me since we started lock said I always have to accommodate your schedule and you're a frightfully busy woman now I'm busier because of Heather I squeeze you in you squeeze me in we squeeze each other in nothing in this relationship is as one-sided as you think it is Claire no she said she was dying to challenge him just seeing his name on the display of her cell phone made her feel combative it wasn't right so they called a truce they shook hands just get through the next three weeks past the Gayla get heather back to Andover the kids back in school start over agreed agreed the work for the Gaya was almost done it was time to enjoy it lock said after all it was a party a party yes he was right the GD chandelier was completed Ted Trimble had it now and he was very careful y wiring it Claire had eight spaces at her table to fill since Matthew had paid for the table CLA was able to give seats away she invited Siobhan and Carter first and surprise Siobhan was thrilled Clare invited Adams and Heidi Fisk and Christo and Delaney kit she invited Ted and Amy Trimble as a thank you for wiring the chandelier already CLA was feeling better she was feeling excited she would be upfront surround Ed by her dearest friends this was her event Max West would play and Petro Da Silva would auction off the first piece she had created in nearly 2 years she was the co-chair this was her party thrown in a tent as big as an airplane hanger woohoo she needed a dress she took a full morning off with sioban and together the two of them hit the town it was impossible to buy certain things on anet a of blue plain cotton sheetss for example or gym socks children's underwear a plastic colander a softball anything in bulk but if you were looking for a party dress Nantucket was Utopia Claire and sioban shopped at heurn viav David Chase eye of the needle Erica Wilson so many Sensational dresses Siobhan wanted something black something dramatic something that would stand in contrast to her Chef's jacket she found a knockout dress at Erica Wilson a halter dress with a fitted skirt and beading absolutely gorgeous but everything looked good on Siobhan she had healthy coloring and a tiny little body Claire was harder to outfit she tried on everything some things looked truly hideous clashing with her red hair making her look like a cadaver she found a few things she liked nothing she loved they ate lunch on the pet patio at the Rope walk lobster rolls fried clams CLA felt like a tourist which was nice if odd they were drinking wine to boot Claire a glass of VI she ordered it automatically now and Siobhan a fat glass of chardonay Siobhan raised her glass this is fun she said this is what I miss me too Claire said no Siobhan said I mean it she covered Claire's hand with her own smaller hand Clare knew Siobhan's hand intimately its elf in size the nails bitten to the quick the simple wedding band in white gold when all this is over do I get you back don't be silly Claire said you have me now sioban pushed her darling Square prescription sunglasses up her nose goes do I get you back Claire Claire sipped her wine her stomach squelched at the smell of fried food in the air here on their Carefree day of shopping Siobhan was asking for something she wanted Claire back with Jason ensconced in the crisen clan fitted snugly in her place do I get you back meaning no more lock their onion rings arrived at that second and then a woman from the next table asked if Siobhan would take a picture of her and her family Claire leaned back in her RW iron chair and looked out at the Brilliant Blue Harbor the circling seagulls the white snap of sails the wispy clouds the day sparkled this is fun this is what I miss do I get you back Claire do I get you back Claire sipped her vonier and enjoyed the sun on her face despite the inevitability of Freckles the family said in chorus cheese the question floated away without an answer 11 days to go Claire woke up suspicious something wasn't right she rolled over Jason was gone he was at the Downey flake through a fog of sleep she'd heard him get up dress leave out in the kitchen she found her cell phone and called him it was considered a major foul to interrupt Jason at breakfast but she had a persistent nagging worry that something was a Miss she pictured him in a crowded airport fed up leaving had he left hey Jason said uninspired tired impatient but this she expected he was marking off the days on the family calendar until the Gaya this past Sunday reclining in his chair at the beach he'd muttered under his breath when Claire thought he was asleep in two weeks the goddamn thing will be over is everything okay everything's fine you're at the dowy flake of course he said where else would I be Claire made the kids breakfast she was preoccupied but she could do it in her sleep should she call Siobhan and check on her no she was losing her mind she was looking for something to go wrong JD said Mom Clare looked up alarmed what I want to go to noad here pan keeps taking us to eel point and it's a baby Beach think of Shay Claire said and Zach I want waves JD said I haven't used my boogie board once all summer well I'm sorry Claire said you don't care about me that's not true you only care about Zach JD you know that's not true it hurts me when you say that it hurts me that I can't go to nobody here I can't let pan take you there Zach would drown in 10 seconds and even worse is your sister she'll be out in those waves trying to keep up with you and Clare shuddered I can't even stand to think about it you take me then I'm sorry why can't you take me the obvious answer was that she was busy she had been doing another set of vases for transom for income to appease Jason and out of the blue Mr Fred bull rush of San Francisco had called I heard you were back at it how had he heard Clare had no idea she had yet to call him back but it would be nice to get a commission and see some real money CLA was supposed to meet Isabelle at noon to go over the seating chart though really this was fruitless Isabelle would seat people where she wanted no matter what Claire said so why not spend the afternoon at noer with JD she loved spending time with the kids oneon-one though she rarely got the chance why not take advantage today get sandwiches and sodas at Henry's and take her oldest son to the waves she could read the new Margaret Atwood novel while JD wrote his boogie board okay she said I'll take you I want to go odily said me too said Shay no Claire said this is just an OU for JD you two are going with pan I'll pack extra Oreos odily scow Shay was appeased by the cookies cla's phone rang it was lock calling at 5 minutes to 8 fear gripped cla's knees here it was the bad news hello Clare said I have bad news lock said Claire killed the burner under the bacon what is it Genevie can't do it can't do what the Gayla she can't cater the Gayla 10 days and counting and she can't that's right something about her mother in Arizona she's sick terminal I guess geneveve has to get there now today she doesn't know when she'll be back she can't prep an event for a thousand people and she has no second no one to take over we have to find someone else like who well I thought you might call shobhan shoban CLA said yes that's the obvious answer right right CLA said but was it the catering question had been painful from the beginning it had caused a rift in Clare and Siobhan's un rft friendship and only now had things settled only now did Siobhan seem comfortable with the outcome to reopen discussions of Siobhan and C 's catering was unfair but if Genevie couldn't do it someone had to step in and if Claire overlooked Siobhan as that person if Siobhan wasn't asked first there would be a fresh hell to face okay CLA said I'll call she hung up the phone and looked at J D get your suit on JD breathed a sigh of relief thank God he said I thought you were going to bag on me bag on you she said never she picked up Zach washed the syrup off his face and hands and carried him into her bedroom where she dialed Siobhan hey sioban said hey CLA said you know I woke up with a funny feeling that something awful was going to happen and it has are the kids okay Siobhan said everyone's fine it's a different kind of awful tell me Genevie flaked huh she cancelled her mother is sick in Arizona she has to go she bagged the Gayla silence then laughter Siobhan was chuckling musically there were two ways in which this was not funny it was not funny that Genevieve's mother was dying Claire had lost her mother to cancer and so had Siobhan and it was not funny that the Gaya had no caterer I hate to ask you this but oh no Siobhan said no way you won't do it are you kidding me Siobhan said I have seats right up front and a kick-ass dress why the hell would I trade that in so I can spend the next 10 days slaving and sweating and swearing bad enough I have the Pops to do on Saturday I have no desire to turn around on Sunday and start prepping for another Monster job it's a lot of money though Siobhan I am happy to say I don't care so you won't do it don't sound so shocked I'm not shocked but I thought you wanted this job no Siobhan said after all the crap I've been through I mean I realize I'm on the committee and that means I should be there in the final hour to bail you guys out but Edward had a chance to hire me and he passed he chose geneveve the fact that geneveve flaked is aut Lally predictable I find it gratifying that she flaked because that means I was not bad mouthing her back in April but rather speaking the truth about her she's unprofessional and she should never have been given the job when someone comes $40 ahead under there's a reason okay well if you're not going to do it who else should I call I have to get someone today Claire's phone beeped the display said said Isabelle French oh [ __ ] Isabelle's on the other line I'll call her back who else should I ask to feed a thousand people in 10 days sioban said nobody I know it's August CLA people are booked and over booked if someone is free there's a reason and you shouldn't hire them great CA said so you're telling me the only people I want are people who aren't available pretty much Isabelle's number beeped in again Claire should switch over but she wasn't ready for that brand of Hysteria okay CLA said she knew she should be panicked they had no caterer for the Gayla no food no drink but Claire felt calm she had woken up with a bad feeling and here it was realized JD walked into the bedroom in his bathing suit with a towel around his neck should she bag on him and instead spend all day in the office with Isabelle dialing every caterer in the phone book was this the right thing to do the right choice was usually the more difficult one who had told her that father Dominic her mother but putting the Gayla before her family and disappointing her son could not be the right choice here so in this rare case the right choice was the less difficult one listen I'm taking JD to noer just the two of us want to meet me there with the boys I am up to my tits and Pops Siobhan said but what the hell I'll come for an hour the hours Claire spent at the beach were like hours spent dreaming the sun was hot the water refreshing and JD was happy and exhilarated by the waves and by his cousins Siobhan came for an hour and brought CLA half a chicken salad sandwich a cup of gaspacho and a bottle of fancy Italian lemonade Claire's phone rang off the hook Isabelle lock Edward geneveve but Claire didn't take a single call she would deal with the catering problem later and quite possibly by the time she gave it her full attention it would be solved it was liberating to let it go it was fortifying to spend 4 hours being herself a woman who loved the beach the mother of a 10-year-old boy she even tried to boogie board a few times it was too hot to stay out of the water she rode the waves to shore enjoying the swell and the rush enjoying even the sand in her suit and the salt stinging her eyes they left the beach at4 to 5: in time to get home and relieve pan CLA was so relaxed that she let JD sit in the front seat next to her his dark blonde hair was damp his bare torso suntanned and Rippling with emerging muscles he like Jason would be handsome and strong JD switched the radio station 15 times ah to finally be in control of the music and he polished off his Coke then casually hung his elbow out the open window as they turned the corner onto their street JD said Mom that was awesome you rock Claire grinned her face was tight and warm from the Sun 10 she decided was the perfect age for a boy JD did not need the constant caretaking that the other kids needed but his heart and mind were still those of a child you were great company she said there was an unfamiliar car in their driveway as Claire pulled in her good mood evaporated it was not an unfamiliar car at all it was a green Jaguar convertible the car lock drove in the summertime lock was not a man who got excited about cars as the Director of nantucket's children he always said he should be driving a 12-year-old minivan but this car he loved the XKR was Sleek curvy and fast in a prestigious racing green he would not park it on the street it spent all summer in the yacht club parking lot now here it was in Claire's driveway lock sat in one of the Adera chairs next to cla's mudroom door he was wearing a khaki suit a pink sear sucker shirt a darker pink tie and loafers without socks a hanging geranium twirled above his head a few pink petals had dropped onto the creamy shoulders of his jacket how long had he been sitting there he was pitched forward his forearms on his knees staring expectantly out at Claire's culdesac willing her to appear well yes obviously Claire had never known lock to idly wait anywhere for anything the man was a model of efficiency always on the phone or reviewing paperwork or drafting letters or reading relevant articles in philanthropic magazines or The Economist or Barons it was almost like this wasn't really him who's that guy JD asked CLA was frozen she could barely twist her wrist to remove the key from the ignition she was stunned by Lock's presence he had stopped by unannounced only one other time and that was back in January when he had entered her hot shop while she was working back then she had been surprised yes certainly but back then a part of her had been expecting him back then he was always on her mind thoughts of him followed her everywhere so the fact that he had appeared out of the blue seemed right that day had marked the first time Lo had told her he loved her it had been magic his appearing to declare that it had been Supernatural but now today CLA was tense on guard she was a little repulsed part of this was because she looked awful as she got out of the car this came into clearer Focus the fronts of her legs were sunburned she was wearing a damp cotton Beach cover up that had at one time been white but was now the color of old chewing gum and her hair was like a clump of seaweed Tangled and salty her feet were Sandy and she could feel freckles popping out all over her face she did not want Lo to see her this way looking like something that had washed up on the beach nor did she want to see lock in all his seasonal pink sockless his thinning hair wind blown from a ride in his convertible she had done a thorough job of blocking him out of her mind and had successfully forgotten all about the catering nonsense but now she would have to deal with it this wasn't what petrified Claire however what petrified Claire was the notion that lock had not come on official Gayla fix the catering nonsense but had come finally to whisk CLA away the Jaguar was the White Horse Lo had been watching for her so eagerly and stood so suddenly when she emerged from the car that Claire thought oh God he's going to do it ask me to run away with him he wanted her to climb into the Jag and drive off with a wave leaving JD baffled on the porch Claire opened the back of the pilot pulled out the Sandy towels and took her time shaking them she slid out the boogie boards handed them to JD and said would you rinse these please sweetheart JD was looking at lock lock was looking at CLA JD took the boogie boards to the hose on the side of the house Claire trudged up the porch stairs in her dim store flip-flops he would never ask her to go with him she realized and suddenly that was all she wanted for him to ask for him to beg hi she said hi he said she wondered about her other children and pan they weren't home yet the inside of the house was too quiet Claire busied herself with folding the damp towels you've taken me by surprise she said moving to the mudro door I was on my way home from work lock said he smiled tightly I've been trying to reach you all day we have to talk she turned to him she couldn't breathe really if he asked her if he meant it if he promised her all the the right things if he thought it through very carefully and still made it romantic and spontaneous the chance of a lifetime the chance for happiness with a man who understood her better differently would she go with him no never but she might about the catering he said as they entered the house CLA wondered was it a mess in her mind the house was all always a mess with the flatsome of their lives littering every surface bills mail magazines the girls ponytail holders Zach's pacifiers and bottles with half an inch of sour milk left sunglasses Keys the nails and screws and spare change that Jason emptied from his pockets each evening yes it was all there the family's life exposed someone's used Band-Aid was on the counter and Claire swept it into the trash Claire had never been to Lock's house but she gathered it was one of those homes where everything was tucked away so that the place was left with as much personality as a hotel room cla's answering machine was blinking eight messages Clare opened the fridge would you like some cold grapes you don't have to entertain me lock said Claire pulled out the colander of grapes anyway and set it on the bar how about a beer lock Shrugged after the day I had sure okay so he was going to talk about his day one hell of a day he had while CLA was at the beach boogie boarding and drinking sparkling Italian lemonade JD marched in and CLA said outdoor shower please I'm going lock offered his hand hey you must be JD I'm lock Dixon JD shook his hand hand looked him in the eye smiled nice to meet you Mr Dixon I'm a friend of your mother's we work together Claire said we're working on the Gayla together Mr Dixon runs nantucket's children okay JD said he disappeared out the back door he has nice manners lock said CLA pulled one of Jason's beers out of the fridge and flipped off the top glass no no thanks he was here in the house he had met and approved of the oldest child he was drinking Jason's beer and Claire was supremely uncomfortable with all of it give me the lowdown she said he removed his jacket and hung it on the back of the bar stool he rolled up the sleeves of his sear sucker shirt neatly here was lock Dixon relaxing with a beer after work Claire watched him he was her lover but he was a complete stranger Claire heard stampeding feet in the mudro the rest of the gang traed in Zach Crying Pan looking beat up and weary the girls like JD stopped what they were doing bickering dropped their Soden towels on the floor and stared at lock who's that Shay demanded this is Mr Dixon CLA said mommy's helper on the AA lock waved at pan nice to see you again pan smiled and handed Zack off to CLA he was hot and unhappy and his diaper was leaking and full of sand CLA wasn't sure what to do this wasn't exactly how she wanted lock to see her life is that your car odly asked it is lock said I like it she said I have to talk to your mom right now lock said but next time I come I'll give you a ride can I ride too Shay asked there was a knock at the door the front door which meant UPS or a neighbor's child selling raffle tickets okay Claire said to the kids to the shower please she was using her Julie Andrews voice their only young once must enjoy them she wanted Lo to see that she was a good mother the best mother despite her obvious shortcoming excuse me one second she said and she went to the door there was another knock before CLA could reach the door crisp insistent Clare peaked out the window another car in the driveway a cherry red Land Rover with r bars so not the Girl Scouts the first thing Claire saw when she opened the door was the hair long and lustrous Isabelle CLA said said now she was officially a gas Zach's diaper was so heavy it was falling off CLA could hear the girls pounding on the door of the outdoor shower to get JD out hello Isabelle said with a mixture of surprise and distaste as though it were Claire who had ambushed her at home and not the other way around she stepped inside is lo here yes CLA said she looked down at her coverup her legs her feet Isabelle was looking very tan and light in a white eyelet sundress and Claire was wearing a trash bag with four hot sandy hungry children running around like wild Indians when she had woken up this morning and felt like something bad was going to happen she could never have predicted that it would be something this specifically bad but as Isabelle walked past her into the great room without so much as a word of apology or for that matter greeting CLA got a hold of her herself Lo and Isabelle had shown up without warning and had plopped themselves down in her home she would not allow herself to feel self-conscious about how she looked or about the fact that there was no babbling Koi pond at the entryway or that she didn't have a picture of Jin and tonics and or derves ready she would deal with these people graciously then send them off first however she had to deal with the Indians I have to change a diaper she said lock Will you pour a glass of wine for Isabelle please there's a bottle of cold vion in the fridge this was incredibly true and CLA was secretly thrilled she took Zach upstairs rinsed him off in the sink changed his diaper and dressed him in an adorable blue terry cloth playsuit when she came back down Lo and Isabelle were seated at the bar with their drinks popping cold grapes while the three kids stood wrapped in towels dripping onto the floor and looking like ref ug boat people go get dressed CLA said and I'll let you watch a little TV before dinner what's for steaks Claire said and corn the children slinked off casting furtive looks at The Strangers in the kitchen as soon as the kids were gone Isabelle got down to business we have a serious problem she said out the mudroom window Claire saw Jason's truck pull into the driveway she felt a wash of relief we'll find another caterer Claire said I've called everyone on Nantucket I spent all day on the phone and so did Gavin and so did lock no one is available I called all the restaurants I even called the head of the high school cafeteria I find that hard to believe Claire said someone said the woman did private catering on the side I called 14 places on the cape all the way down to where and nobody can do it the party is too big they don't have the staff it's too expensive to get here we don't have a prep kitchen it's not looking good lock said to bring someone in from New York which is what we may have to do will be prohibitively expensive and again the problem of the prep kitchen he took a swill of beer Claire needed a drink herself but lock had not poured her one Claire pointedly poured herself a glass of wine she looked at lock and Isabelle sitting side by side in their perfect summer clothes like two people who had escaped from a Renoir painting they were a natural pair CLA could see this suddenly clearly without feeling one way or the other about it they should be together Isabel was unmarried or nearly so the two of them were much better suited for each other than CLA and lock she wasn't able to follow this train of thought however because at that moment lock dropped the bomb we need you to try one more time with Siobhan the Wei bugged her royally we meaning Lo and Isabelle meaning the people who had slaved over the problem while Clare was at the beach meaning nantucket's children it didn't matter I did Clare said she said no we need you to try again again we need you to beg no food no drink or food and drink that is so expensive we don't make one red scent on this gig after all the work we've done you get it we're up against the wall desperate desperate Clare repeated she looked at Isabelle who had her head bowed in folded hands in a posture of prayer it fell to Claire and Clare alone again would it never end the mudro door slammed Jason stepped into the kitchen he looked at Isabelle then Lo then Isabelle again Claire felt a sting of jealousy but how could Jason keep from staring at Isabelle when she had all that beautiful long hair and the even tan and the thin gold bracelet at her wrist and the perfectly shaped nails polished to look like glass she was the most put together woman who had ever graced their house that Jaguar yours Jason said the Rover is mine she said Jason this is Isabelle French my co-chair for the Gaya Isabelle my husband Jason Crispen pleasure she said and they clasped hands Jason lock said standing Jason and lock shook hands the Jag is Yours Jason said it is sweet Jason eyed their drinks can I get you another lock another beer Isabelle more wine Jason was suddenly the consumate host Claire said we having a meeting the caterer for the Gayla Genevie can't do it her mother is very sick we have no caterer you should ask my brother Jason said to lock and Siobhan they'll do it I did ask them Clare said they said no ask again Jason said popping a beer or I'll ask that would be great Isabelle said it would honestly be so great if you would ask again we're up against the wall no problem Jason clapped lock on the shoulder are you two staying for dinner Claire what's for dinner was this really happening Claire couldn't be sure maybe she was still asleep in her chair on the beach Stakes she said and corn she raised her eyebrows at lock if she wasn't caring careful she was going to say something grossly inappropriate you're welcome to stay if you'd like no thanks lock said I have a dinner at the Yacht Club oh funny Isabelle said so do I funny when Claire smiled her teeth were cold her face was stiff from the Sun and the salt she wanted lock and Isabelle out of her house they could go on to the yacht club for dinner that was fine CLA wanted to sit with her kids on the back deck and shuck the corn and while the corn was boiling and the steak grilling she wanted to take a long hot outdoor shower Jason could call Carter and Siobhan and ask about the catering yet again at Isabelle's behest but they would say no and Clara would be able to end her day with a fat satisfying I Told You So Clara smiled at Isabelle and lock a little more broadly they weren't finished with their drinks but she didn't care I'll you out CLA said Isabelle downed her wine in one gulp everything is going to work out she said I can feel it she slid off her stool and at the door she linked her arm through locks lock glanced at CLA Clare could not look at him I'm sorry we just barged in on you lock said I tried calling I know CLA said I was avoiding my calls we're in a legitimate bind he said I realized that Clare said we both found your little disappearing act today discouraging and immature Isabelle said you were at the beach you should have been helping us you are the co-chair she couldn't wait for them to leave get in the car she thought please leave did you she said well I'm sorry you don't sound sorry I took my son to the beach I had a nice day lock cleared his throat he looked like he wanted to shrug Isabelle's arm off but he was too polite the Gayla is in I'm well aware of when the Gayla is lo he sighed and searched her face for what love tenderness a sign that she was contrite for not sitting on the phone all day dialing Caterers at that second she thought run away with Isabelle since she's so devoted to the cause Lo and Isabelle found her immature and discouraging what was discouraging was that they had dumped the catering disaster in her lap and now she would have to own it they made their way down the porch steps Isabelle's arm wrapped through locks like a snake Isabelle trailed lock to his car and after he got in she stood at the driver's side talking to him so toce talking to him about CLA Jason was in the kitchen CLA he said CLA wanted Jason next to her at the front door he was the other half of her united front the happy crispens CLA he called what she said if he wanted dinner he could start by lighting the grill look at this she turned to see Jason crouching down holding Zach by both hands but then his let go and Zach took 1 2 3 4 five steps bumped into the cabinet that held the pots and pans and fell onto his butt CLA shrieked he walked Zach grinned at his parents then started crying he walked she said he walked Jason said he's a walker he grabbed cla's hand and pulled her in tight kissed her throat she hugged him and suddenly she was so so happy happier than she'd been in a long time he's a walker she said and she hoped that this was all she would remember about today the morning after CLA had offered Siobhan the Gayla catering job and Siobhan turned it down once and for all she hoped that was clear Siobhan was awakened by a voice in Her walk-in closet she looked at the clock 10 6 [ __ ] absurd sioban climbed out of bed naked as a jbird and stood in front of the closet door to make sure yes Carter was in there on the phone growing up sioban and her siblings had pulled blankets over their heads spoken in pig latin stretched the cord of the phone all the way to the Stairs Of The Root Cellar then slam the door for privacy gossiping about Michael O'Keefe at first and then in later years about where they hid the beer they didn't do it to save their father's ears Siobhan did not knock though with the boys always underfoot knocking before entering a room was law because the closet was not a proper room Siobhan flung open the door and there was Carter sitting on her velvet foot stol the newspaper in his lap on the phone with Tomas his bookie in Las Vegas where it was 3: in the morning betting on the bloody Red Sox what Siobhan heard Carter say was put down 5,000 even Shilling is pitching how to describe the scene that ensued it was cinematic it was Shakespearean Siobhan snatched the phone from Carter's hand and ran like a jack rabbit into the master bath she eyed the oval pool of the toilet and her gag reflex kicked in she was going to be sick she heard Carter coming there wasn't time she flushed the phone down the toilet what the hell Carter said Siobhan canceled their credit card stolen she said when she hung up Carter was staring her down $5,000 she fired Carter right there and then fired Carter from the business that they owned together the business in which he was the head chef Siobhan had no idea if she had the legal right to do this but she could not have been more [ __ ] Tic IC you are no longer part of Island Fair do not prep any more jobs do not set foot in the kitchen you are throwing every red scent we have earned into some stinking Vega Cesspool Carter tried several tacks he apologized with the desperate mean of a drugie begging his dealer for one last score he cried please baby please one more game it's a sure thing I promise Shilling is pitching baby sioban was so livid she could not speak she stormed into the kitchen for coffee and Carter followed crying she poured coffee but she missed her cup it spilled all over the counter and dripped onto the floor and this sent Siobhan over the edge in the most venomous whisper she could summon she said you're trying to ruin us no baby I'm not have you no shame she asked because really they had a mortgage and besides that two two little boys upstairs who would unlike Siobhan or Carter go to college someday Carter was confused by the question shame Siobhan said look at you pathetic at this he became belligerent you can't tell me what to do you can't fire me from my own business and stormed out though not before stopping in the garage to collect his surfboard Siobhan called Claire if if this had happened last August Siobhan would have regaled her with all the Gory details but now of course things had changed she and Clare were operating on a need to know basis and all Claire needed to know was that yes Island Fair would cater the Gayla they were eager to do it Claire yippi and made some other yee-haw Cowboy noises yesterday was so bad Clare said but then Zach walked he took his first steps and now you're going to cater the Gayla just like the two of us planned in the beginning it feels so right it's all coming full circle hooray Claire was eager then to get off the phone she couldn't wait to call Isabelle and lock and tell them the happy news Claire did not think would never under current circumstances have thought to ask why the sudden change of heart why when Siobhan had been so adamant the evening before was she so eager now had something happened Claire didn't ask and really it was just as well Siobhan didn't need a lot of caretaking she was a Hard Scrabble girl tough as a turnip mean as an underfed chicken she was a Survivor she would make this work all alone she would be better off without the liars and the cheaters and the gamblers to bring her down she would be just fine chapter 11 she hides it away the days leading up to the Gayla were a blur and CLA couldn't remember which things happened in which order and in fact many things happened simultaneously but each and every detail of these days was charged and important on Monday they filled the last table of 10 they had 1,000 guests Gavin answered the phone and took the credit card for the final table and it was he who led the celebration high-fiving Lo and hugging and kissing Isabelle Clare and sioban all of whom were in the office ironing out the catering details also on Monday the late summer issue of Nan magag was released featuring the article about nantucket's children and the summer Gaya the text of the article was long and preachy about the cause in some places but no worries few people would actually read it What mattered were the the photographs there was a shot of lock standing in front of the Elijah Baker house surrounded by half a dozen children there was a shot of the chandelier unwired taken in Claire's hot shop there was an old snapshot that Clare had dug up of herself and Matthew in high school they were in the sand dunes on Wildwood Beach Matthew holding his guitar CLA staring moodily at the ocean there was a photograph of CLA and lock sitting side by side though not touching on the edge of Lock's desk they were in the office when they looked at the article Isabelle was actually the one who got a hold of the copy of Nan mag hot off the press and all of them skimmed through it together lock holding the magazine while Gavin Isabelle Claire and sioban read over his shoulder lock read certain lines aloud the summer population May believe their beautiful island is immune to the tough reality that face other communities substandard housing latch key kids petty crime by teenagers gangs drug use but they are wrong for example in the winter months Nantucket has the highest incidence of heroin use per capita in the Commonwealth and too often it's the Island's children who pay the price Claire studied the picture of her and lock it was as far as she knew the only picture of them ever taken did they look like a couple they did not she decided they were completely mismatched a French film dubbed in Italian a giraffe with Tiger stripes Clare was still stinging from the way the catering situation had fallen out Isabelle's words discouraging and immature replayed in her mind Claire didn't have the heart to be tart or snotty with Isabelle however because Isabelle was gross enough as it was not one of the people she had personally invited to the Gaya had dained to come she was candid about this more candid than Claire might have been in the same situation they sent checks she said but they won't come Claire thought for a minute or two that Isabelle was going to blame the declines on Max West but it became clear from her near teary demeanor that she took it personally they weren't coming because of her because of whatever had transpired last fall at the Waldorf thankfully Isabelle was distracted by the magazine article Siobhan said to Claire your hair looks good these were the only nice words Shon had uttered since coming up to the office she was exhausted from doing the pops which had ended very late on Saturday night and took all day Sunday to clean up and Carter had been no help he was sick Siobhan said Siobhan had agreed to cater the Gayla but she did not seem happy about it she let everyone in the office know that she was not happy and everyone in the office including Claire cowered and deferred to her because she represented their One and Only Hope thank you Claire said sweetly though she disagreed she thought her hair which she had tried hard to straighten made her look like Alfred Newman your hair looks good too Gavin said to and everyone laughed except Isabelle it took Claire a few minutes to notice but Isabelle was silently seething finally she let an audible hiss leak and she stepped away from the group nice article she said flatly it really showcases all the work you've done on the event Claire the room fell silent Claire reeled with surprise not that Isabelle was offended that she hadn't been photographed or mentioned as co-chair but that neither She nor lock nor Gavin who had proofread the article weeks ago had noticed that Isabelle had not been photographed or mentioned as co-chair what Claire thought was oh [ __ ] what Claire said was we all know how much work you've put into this Isabelle I can't believe there's not more in this article about you there's nothing in the article about me Isabelle spat CLA scanned the article surely your name is listed as it's not Isabelle said I've been completely overlooked it's a fa paaw on Nan mag's part Gavin said we should call them right now and complain maybe they'll print a correction in the next issue a correction Isabelle said what good will that do she snatched up her Peter beaten bag and stormed out lock closed the magazine Gavin Siobhan and Clare went to collect their things but nobody said a word what to say Isabelle was right she the woman who had hired a chist from the New York Symphony to play at the invitation stuffing the woman who had wooed Manolo blonic into underwriting the event to the tune of $50,000 the woman who had painstakingly made a hundred phone calls on the day of the catering crisis had been overlooked would she quit Clare wondered now in the final hour would she not show lock said let's give her time to cool down I'll call her later Lo was on the phone with Isabelle in the middle of a long teary on Isabelle's part conversation when Ben Franklin walked into the office it was nearly 6 Gavin had gone home Ben stood in front of Lock's desk with a financials clenched in his hands for several minutes as lock attempted to Plate Isabelle no one is selling you short everyone on the committee understands how hard you've worked how much of yourself you've poured into this event Lo put his hands over the receiver I can't help you now Ben I'm trying to talk someone off the ledge here Ben's face was stoic this lack of emotion and the way he was holding forth the financials made him seem like nothing so much as a butler it's important he coked Eliza was right I'll call you in the morning lock said first thing Ben nodded and turning on his heels left the office on Tuesday at the office the phone wouldn't stop ringing everyone wanted Gayla tickets we sold out Gavin said I'm sorry sorry I'll have to put your name on the waiting list by noon the waiting list was 46 people long what was this had everyone read the article in nanm mag or were people just such procrastinators that they didn't think about Saturday's plans until the Tuesday before either way they were out of luck Gavin thought this rather smugly despite the fact that it wasn't at all his type of music he was attending the Gayla as Isabelle's guest he had called her on Monday afternoon to see if she was okay and she had asked him will you be my date for the Gayla Isabelle had said at first he thought she was kidding he had laughed she said no I'm serious are you sure there isn't someone else who no Isabelle said absolutely not I'd like to go with you Isabelle friend the beautiful wealthy co-chair of the event would be attending with Gavin Andrews handsome bestl looking 1991 Evanston day and single office assistant he was on fire he wished to God that he had known this was going to happen if he had known he would never have lock came back from lunch at 1:00 and said damn I forgot to call Ben Franklin Gavin coughed his throat was blocked Ben Franklin Ben Franklin he said yeah lock said he took a look at the financials nice that he takes an interest now for the first time ever when I am insanely busy with other things insanely busy with other things yes Gavin had been so busy answering the phone and taking care of other Gayla business and thinking of sex with with Isabelle French that he hadn't even noticed the financial records were missing Gavin's breathing was shallow he needed the bathroom Jesus he had to get out of here before he was arrested go home get the duffel bag with the money and leave get to hyanis at least then decide where to go he should have had a better plan but he had expected to go undetected for a lot longer than this Ben Franklin took the financial Unthinkable Ben Franklin was completely clueless even if he looked at the financials would he know what was going on would he see the cash taken from every deposit would he be able to figure it out Gavin had to leave the less Fanfare attending his departure the better he should just say he was going to even keill for an iced coffee and never return but the fact of the matter was Gavin didn't want to leave he didn't want to leave this office which had kept him busy and engaged and had for the past few weeks anyway felt like the center of the universe the work he was doing fulfilled him he went home happy to leave the office now with the best most exciting moments to come with the concert which Gavin was attending with Isabelle French on the horizon would be horrible to leave Nantucket forever would be even worse and his parents just last night the three of them had had dinner together at the Pearl and both his parents had remarked on how well he seemed to be doing Gavin had finally received some much sought-after approval furthermore it struck Gavin for the first time that his parents were older people his father now had a hearing aid and there was no one in the world to care for them but him what have I done Gavin thought stupid idiotic moronic immature insecure dishonest small-minded shortsighted and pathetic that only began to describe the little game he'd been playing since last October what was money money was nothing what Gavin wanted was esteem and just as he was starting to get it legitimately his crimes were catching up with him how to undo he wondered there must be a way I'm going to call Ben right now lock said hold my other calls Gavin nodded briskly he had no time to undo he had to get out of there but then he heard footsteps on the stairs and Heather slunk in around the corner the picture of teenage discontent Dad she said lock who was dialing hung up the phone Jesus I forgot he jumped up those are what you call whites Heather Shrugged she was wearing a pink lacost shirt a pair of almost faded to white denim shorts and a green grow grain ribbon belt and tree torns that had been laced up backwards so that they tied by her toes we have a fatherdaughter tennis match lock said to Gavin couldn't have come at a worst time but we have to play Don't We you say so Heather said we have to Greta and Dennis Peele will kill them he turned to Gavin are you okay to hold down the fort okay Gavin said Claire was on her way to the wreck fields to supervise the construction of the tent Claire would not be consulted about a single decision but the gentleman at the Town parks and wreck department which owned the fields wanted a representative from nantucket's children on hand in case there were any questions CLA had called Isabelle to see if she wanted to do this or to help CLA do this but Isabelle did not answer her phone she was still pissed about the magazine article so Claire decided she would go and sit alone in the baking sun while the crew from Tennessee assembled the 40,000 ft tent she sat at a picnic table drinking diet iced tea playing Solitaire she tried to make the cards say something stay with lock or leave him continue to pray for strength or just exhibit it reclaim her life work on her marriage she loved Lo and she hated him the worst things about adultery it seemed were countless at noon when the crew broke for lunch she left on the way home she stopped by Siobhan's commercial kitchen to see if she could help somehow she couldn't construct a tent but with Direction she could whip up a batch of curried mango chutney Claire walked into the kitchen without knocking why would she knock she expected a kitchen full of people Siobhan Carter Alec Floyd Raymundo vaslav it was after all the middle of August and Island Fair had a Herculean task ahead of them by not knocking however Claire interrupted something she blew into the kitchen which had all of the fans running possibly masking the noise of her entrance and caught Shavon and Edward by surprise Edward melor it just wasn't possible but yes he and sioban were at the long stainless steel counter standing very close to each other sioban saw CLA first and jumped and pushed Edward away or so it seemed and Edward whipped around and saw CLA and whereas his face registered guilt it also registered relief CLA was not Carter hi CLA said brightly and casually as though there were nothing about finding Edward mellor in Siobhan's prep kitchen that shocked her on the counter were the makings for the crispy pork wons CLA pointed to the stack of wanton rappers and said yum my favorite Siobhan said what are you doing here and Edward said hey Claire how's it going with the tent CLA plucked a water chestnut out of a 5B can and ate it tent going up she said what was going on here exactly Siobhan could not abide having Edward's name mentioned in conversation and yet here they were alone together Claire had wondered if something had happened between the two of them at the invitation stuffing at Isabelle's house they had both stepped away from the table for a long time but when CLA had asked how was it with Edward the other night Siobhan had Shrugged and said laborious as usual Claire was bowled over by Edward's presence here and where was Carter was she missing something what are you doing here Edward she asked oh Edward said he smiled he had a smile for every occasion and this one was his pretending to be innocent smile I was just helping Siobhan fill the wantons really Claire said this was the Edward who would eat peanut butter on a roof shingle and who couldn't tell white burgundy from lighter fluid she's in the weeds Edward said and who wouldn't be she is saving our asses taking the Gayla on at the last minute indeed she is Claire said she glanced at Siobhan to see how she liked being talked about in the third person Siobhan's mouth was a tight little pucker and her freckled nose twitched like a rabbits I came for that very same reason to see if I could help can I help I'm fine Siobhan said I think I'll just finish up here myself yes Edward said I have a showing at one anyway are you sure you don't want any help Claire said I'm sure Edward J change in his pocket I may just stay and help Siobhan finish this I thought you had a showing at one Clare said I do you should go Siobhan said don't you want me to stay Edward asked there was an uncomfortable pause go Siobhan said both of you on Wednesday Gavin went to work against his better judgment it was a gamble one that was almost as quickening as the act of stealing the money in the first place had lock spoken to Ben Franklin would the office be stormed by federal agents would Gavin be led away in handcuffs these were real possibilities he knew but Gavin's gut instinct was that he would be safe for at least one more day and he hoped this was all he would need to figure things out he had been up all night thinking at through and he had arrived at a shocking conclusion he didn't want to leave Nantucket he didn't want to flee to Southeast Asia or anywhere else and so he had to figure out a way to put the money back to unal it this was harder than it might seem he had pilfered the money over the course of a hundred transactions he couldn't just deposit the lump sum now the duffel bag which contained $52,000 was in the back seat of his Mini Cooper which was parked locked up tight on Union Street what Gavin needed was for Ben Franklin to back off once the Gayla was behind them and all the summer people went home gin would find a way to quietly Square the books but he couldn't do it now with everyone breathing down his neck lock strolled in at 5 minutes to 9 he looked at Gavin and grinned we won it tennis he said and Gavin who had decided in the we hours that the most important thing was not to call any attention to his plight threw this resolution out the window immediately did you ever catch up with Ben Franklin he asked no lock said to be honest with you I don't have time to deal with him right now I hear you Gavin said heun not quite right upstairs anymore anyway you know that don't you I do know it lock said I'll advise Adams to find a new Treasurer in the fall but nobody will want to do it nobody Gavin echoed the phone rang time to get to work lock said on Wednesday Ted Trimble called to say that the chandelier was wired do you want to come get it he asked Claire yes she said from the car Claire called lock at the office things had been stilted and businesslike between them since the catering Fiasco but if anyone should go with her to get the chandelier it was lock and so she asked would he go with her to Ted trimble's shop and pick up the chandelier would he help her deliver it to the wreck Fields they would store it in the concession stand normally used for Little League games because it could be locked if I move it myself Claire said I'll break it I'm so so nervous about Saturday I'm shaking you have no reason to be nervous Lo said and yes he said he would come help her Ted trimble's shop was unoccupied when CLA pulled in a note on the door read CLA it's upstairs Clare walked up the hot stairs into a cavernous room filled with light fixtures and wires and extension cords and bulbs and stove burners and sections of slant fin radiator there were two desks in the center of the room back to back one for Ted's secretary Bridget and one for his wife Amy who did the bookkeeping but neither Bridget nor Amy was around the fans were running and the radio was on it was murderously hot Claire hadn't had time to get lunch and the climb up the stairs made her dizzy she heard lock call up from the bottom of the stairs hello I'm up here she said she did not see the chandelier she heard lock reach the top of the stairs and she said I can't find it it's right here he said she turned as he lifted the chandelier from a white box Lo held the chandelier from the top where Ted had affixed a silver chain at the end of the chain was an inverted sterling silver bowl that held the wires the chandelier dangled from Lock's hands it world even in the still heat of the room God Claire said it's gorgeous lock said he traced The Arc of one of the chandeliers arms with his finger it is absolutely gorgeous Claire knew what the chandelier looked like she had its shape and form memorized she had spent more time with this piece than with any other piece in her career And yet when Lo held it when she gazed at it from afar it was like seeing it for the first time that deep Luscious Pink those twisting draping arms it was glorious it was graceful it was as far as glass went a work of Genius CLA felt her eyes burning with tears she was thinking of all the hours that had gone into the creation of that godamn Chandelier the effort the energy the hours that she could have spent should have spent doing other things tending to her children her marriage her life the chandelier was the opposite of where she had failed it was where she had succeeded and in 2 days she would sell it to the highest bidder I don't know if I can let it go she said I don't know if I can part with it it will be in safe hands lock said softly it will be in my hands I will pay whatever I have to in order to get it this sounded like one of the nicest things anyone had ever said to Claire the words were meant to comfort and to compliment Claire thought back to the first auction meeting when Lo began his campaign to get her back to work it had been an idea then and now it was a resplendant reality dangling from Lock's hands just as their attraction to each other that first night had been a tiny seedling of thought of curiosity and now what was it it was as complicated and as fragile as the chandelier what was left unspoken of course was that the chandelier would hang in the house that lock shared with Daphne it would Grace the meals they ate together it would never hang in the house that Lo owned with Claire Lo would never own a house with Claire they would never be together this suddenly was as obvious and oppressive as the heat in the room even though lock would most likely buy the chandelier Claire would never see it again I have to get out of here she said this heat is making me dizzy right Lo said I'll help you get this to the wreck Fields they tucked the chandelier back into the box and patted it with bubble wrap they closed the box and sealed it with electrical tape it was safe lock carried it down the stairs with Clare following behind on unsteady feet lock set the box in the back of cla's Honda Pilot CLA said would you drive sure he took her car keys got behind the wheel of her car adjusted the seat they were alone in her car on legitimate Gayla business every other time they had been alone in her car it had been illegitimate business the business of their love affair and this thought made it too awkward to speak even though Claire had things she wanted to tell Lo about Isabelle's adamant Silence about her own anger over what had happened with the catering Claire couldn't speak but she wanted him to speak she had fallen in love with him the silver belt buckle and the bald spot and his deep reservoir of kindness and generosity and the new idea of herself that he had given her the vion the Bose radio the Gardens at greater light kissing him on the chilly cement steps she had felt like a teenager again like a person a woman desirable to him and to herself it was not toddy or careless it was real she wanted a life where where she could reach out and straighten his tie where they could share a sandwich where they could stand in line together at the post office his chin resting on her head the worst thing about adultery their kind anyway was that that life was never going to happen and it was so so sad she stared at him his cheek his ear the creases at the corners of his eyes she knew every inch of him intimately but he said nothing nothing the silence was oppressive if Claire opened her mouth she knew what would come out this is pointless we have no future we'll never be together not properly continuing is emotional suicide what are we doing how can it possibly be worth it we have to stop we should never have started lock pulled into the parking lot of the wreck Fields the tent was up now a white elephant a spaceship lot cleared his throat it was nice to see you at 8:30 the next morning there was no sign of pan and Claire because she was busy cleaning up breakfast and deciding how to attack the problem of Isabelle should she apologize for the Nan mag article even though she didn't write it let the kids run around after outside in their pajamas Clare knocked tentatively on Pan's door this was highly unusual CLA couldn't remember another time when pan had been even 5 minutes late it simply never happened there was a groan from inside which Claire took as a cue to open the door pan lay in bed with her hair in her face the room was stuffy pan never opened her Windows because she found even summer nights too cold are you okay Claire said in her mind she launched automatically into a Hail Mary not two days before the Gayla not today when CLA had a list a mile long not tomorrow when Matthew was coming and certainly not Saturday when Clare would be unavailable from start to finish pan groaned Clare approached the bed there was a half-eaten bowl of rice on the dresser pan are you sick pan pushed her hair out of her face I feel hot she said Claire gasped pan was covered with red spots on the way home from the doctor with pan leaning limply against the car door Tylenol the doctor had said baths with baking soda bed rest CLA called Isabelle at home no one answered so CLA left a message on the machine hey Isabelle well it's Claire listen will you call me when you get this message please it seems odd I haven't heard from you this week and I just want to make sure we're all set with the event pause mention the elephant in the room I know you were upset about the magazine article and honestly no one was more shocked that you weren't mentioned than I was it's awful an egregious oversight I'll say something to Tessa okay okay call me please CLA hung up then dialed Isabelle's cell phone again no answer again CLA left a message hey Isabelle it's Claire she paused thinking I find your behavior discouraging and immature call me when you get a chance on Thursday when lock walked into the office he stopped first at Gavin's desk slowly G raised his eyes from his work lock said Is it true that you're going to the Gaya with Isabelle yes Daphne told me that but I didn't quite believe it Isabelle invited you I didn't invite myself of course not well good I'm glad you're going with Isabelle you've worked hard and you deserve it I'm sure it seems odd to you not odd at all lock said have you decided what you're wearing on Saturday Gavin said Navy Blazer white shirt madess pants loafers Ty lock said no Gavin said but you should wear one as the Director lock nodded and moved on to his desk Gavin let his breath go the most crucial thing he decided last night was to get the money out of his car and into the bank into the nantucket's children operating fund if it was in the fund no one could accuse him of stealing it but Gavin couldn't just show up with $52,000 to deposit could he Claire had said she would come at 2:00 to help but she didn't show up until 4: at which point Siobhan was at the end of her rope CLA said sorry I'm so late you're not going to believe what happened did the woman think she was the only person with problems did she think she was the only person who was insanely busy one thing was for certain since she'd decided to co-chair the Gayla Claire had cornered the market on drama Siobhan said nothing and Claire stood there expectantly waiting for Siobhan to bite Siobhan would not bite Siobhan was tired of the way things worked in this friendship with Claire's problems constantly taking top billing she would not ask she was in the middle of poaching 600 lobsters a hot and thankless [ __ ] job you had to rip the claws off the poor buggers before you dropped them in otherwise the whole mess tasted like rubber bands Siobhan would make Claire rip the claws off just thinking this made Siobhan smile which Claire took as her cue to proceed Isabelle isn't speaking to me because that stupid article in nanm mag Siobhan didn't know how angry at Claire she really was until she decided in that Split Second to take Isabelle French's side well she wasn't mentioned at all not once I know CLA said but that's not my fault how can she blame me Siobhan didn't answer she held up a lobster there was a tub of them crawling all over one another on the floor they were really quite unappetizing looking creatures here she said rip the claws off remove the rubber bands throw it into the pot Clare made a face I can't do that you came to help sioban said this is what I need done what about making the gaspacho I finished that an hour ago Siobhan said if you'd been here at 2 like you said I know Claire said sorry but guess what on top of everything else she paused waiting for what a drum roll pan has the chickenpox Siobhan laughed though this she realized was cruel and may have been crossing the line the chicken pux she's very sick CLA said and contagious to boot though my kids all had the vaccine but she can't work what am I going to do about a sitter who's watching them now Jason he should be at work but he agreed to help what am I going to do about the Gayla though nightmare nightmare she wanted nightmare Siobhan could redefine nightmare Carter had spent 3 days surfing and skullking around the house like a derelict doing little more than drinking beer and eating the junk Siobhan bought for the children gogurts barbecue flavored Fritos slushy po then she caught him on a suspicious phone call on their landline he' claimed it was Jason but the call log showed a number with an unfamiliar area code and that did it the camel was on its knees sioban threw him out she loved repeating the phrase threw him out though in reality what she had said was please make yourself scarce Carter Crispen go away take a trip leave the island for a few days days get out of my hair until this Gaya mess is behind me then we can start over I can focus we can talk and we will work this out and find you some much needed help okay and Carter had said okay Siobhan gave him $300 from her secret till on the one hand she couldn't believe he hadn't offered to stay and help her with the Gaya how in God's name would she pull it off alone but on the other hand she was glad he was respecting her she had fired him she was the boss he would do exactly as she said he packed a small bag Siobhan watched him both defiant and sad she loved the man yes she did but he was little more than rocks in her pocket right now where will you go she asked him he Shrugged and did not meet her eye probably the city New York City she thought at the time it was only after he was gone that she understood he'd meant Atlantic City with Carter gone Siobhan had been forced to leave the Boys At Home Alone they were N9 and seven and would be able to survive for weeks as long as they had potato chips a working bathroom and the TV remote however Siobhan felt guilty guilty guilty it was a beautiful summer summer day and her two healthy Sons were sitting in their darkened bedroom eating tooth rotting heart-stopping junk and turning their brains to Mush on reruns of the Sweet Life of Zach and Cody she might have brought them with her to the kitchen but in her past attempts to get them to help to Foster an appreciation of her work and perhaps spark an interest in learning to cook themselves they had complained incessantly eaten her Misan plas and played obnoxious practical jokes like making tea sandwiches out of their boogers Siobhan could not jeopardize this job by bringing Liam and Aiden to the kitchen and yet since she left them she had done nothing but worry that they might choke on a pretzel Rod or electrocute themselves or engage in a fight that left them both bleeding that they might notice the beautiful day and venture out to the beach on their bicycles which would lead either to their drowning in the ocean or to their getting hit by a car in the road it was not safe to leave a seven and a 9-year-old alone but Siobhan did not have a livein opair with chickenpox or otherwise she was her own opair she was for the next few days a single parent as well as the sole owner and operator of this catering business which was attempting to pull off a seated dinner for a thousand people 600 lobsters to poach was she insane geneveve at alab would have bought the lobster meat frozen to buy it fresh was prohibitively expensive however frozen lobster meat was watery and Bland and despite her diminished circumstances Siobhan wouldn't compromise Claire ripped the arms off the lobster with no small amount of Gusto you know this is cathartic I need to let off a little aggression she ripped the arms off another 12 months ago Claire would never have been able to rip the arms off a living creature and now here she was enjoying it what did that say sioban shook her head I was pretty shocked to find Edward here the other day Claire said is there something going on between you two that I should know about something going on Siobhan said yeah are you two friends again Siobhan reached into the boiling cauldron with her 12-in tongs pulled out the steaming Scarlet lobsters and dropped them into a sink full of water to cool she would literally be here all night shelling them and that thought alone was enough to make her cry she turned on CLA with all the fire she could muster I'm not like you what is that supposed to mean I am not a cheat like you I am not a Madam B in love with someone else I only asked if you were friends Clare said I didn't say anything about you insinuated I did not I just thought it was strange you have to admit it was strange you and Edward here alone adultery is a sin clear it's evil you want to know what I think there it is you are committing an evil sin against Jason and against your children and against yourself you are betraying yourself you are a good person a person who remembers the mailman's birthday a person who picks other people's rubbish up off the beach and now you're a different person look at you dismembering the Crustaceans you asked me to you said this was what you needed done it's like all of a sudden you don't care about your soul sioban said my soul you're going to tell me you love lock Dixon you're going to tell me Jason is emotionally unavailable and that the most intimate moments you have are when he reads to you from Penthouse Forum it doesn't matter you took a vow my darling to love him forsaking all others remember that I was standing there you're breaking that vow every time you kiss lock every time you call him sioban was on a roll she was pulling lobsters and dumping them as she spoke and the steam was heating her up the truth was bubbling out of her Claire had lost her moral compass or it was going haywire either you stop this thing with lock or I'm telling Jason Claire stared at her what I'm serious end it or I'll end it for you I can't believe you're saying this I mean it I will tell Jason everything I know I tell everybody you wouldn't do that I would so because I love you Claire and I can see how this is changing you and making you crazy and weak it's ruining you you have to put a stop to it Claire stared shaking her head Siobhan stared back for a defiant moment she had not planned to lay down an ultimatum but now that it was out it felt right Siobhan had had her chance to sleep with Edward but she hadn't gone through with it and she was glad her soul was clean or sort of there had been the kissing and the groping at Isabelle's house and then when Siobhan had agreed to take on the catering of the Gayla Edward had called to thank her he had called in His official capacity as head of the catering committee but they had ended up talking for nearly an hour and Siobhan told him about Carter's gambling Edward made Siobhan promise that she would call him if she needed help and Siobhan said anytime you want to swing by the prep kitchen I'll be there working by myself he had come the very next day he had held her hand and touched her cheek and they had kissed again once softly and it might have gone further had Claire not come barging in Siobhan had in fact called Edward that very morning on her way to to the kitchen to tell him about Carter's Exodus to AC and about leaving Liam and Aiden alone and Edward had offered to cancel all of his appointments in order to take the kids out to greato in his Jeep Siobhan had turned him down the kids didn't know Edward and news of any outing they took with Edward would make its way straight back to Carter but it had felt good to have him offer it was comforting to know that Edward would do anything for her anything because he loved her so Siobhan was such a bloody hypocrite but God who wasn't she was acting in bad faith with Edward using him as a stanson when her own husband was failing she didn't love Edward and implying that she might was disingenuous and would stop right now this second she would sell the engagement ring and give all the money every penny to Charity she was going to walk the path of virt virtue and by way of her moral policing she would make CLA walk it too someday CLA would thank her besides the ultimatum had been issued she couldn't back out of it now anyone with children would know that lock was nearly ready to leave for the day when Ben Franklin walked into the office it was 6:30 and the light through the 20 pained window was slanted and golden which meant that summer was ending summer ending already well yes the summer Gayla was always the last thing on the social calendar and the charity benefited from the sense of nostalgia people felt when their departure from the island was imminent Heather would return to Andover on Monday lock couldn't stand to think about it because of the chaos surrounding the next few days he and Daphne were taking Heather out to dinner to the gley tonight their reservation was in an hour lock was not exactly happy to see Ben Franklin walk through the door but he had been meaning to connect with the man all week and for various reasons had missed him hello Ben hello lock said standing up good thing you caught me I was just on my way out the door he reached across his desk for Ben's hand but Ben's arms were loaded down with the financials can I help you with those lock said Ben dropped them unceremoniously on Lock's desk there is money missing he said a lot of money the house was clean so the objective on Friday was to keep it that way we have a visitor coming Claire told the kids a rockar Jason said the day had the feeling of a holiday Jason was staying home from work he had been a real trooper since pan got sick but his good accommodating mood seemed to be tied to the fact that the day of the Gaya was almost upon them and hence almost past them he was still exing Out the Squares on the calendar with his heavy lined black Sharpie three days until I get my wife back two days once again CLA had been awake all night Siobhan was breaking every best friend rule in the book she was going to blow the whistle on CLA she was personally determined to save cla's Soul this was so ludicrous that at first CLA hadn't known whether to believe her but yes she had to believe her I'm doing this for your own good CLA had to admit her relationship with Lo wasn't strong right now they were too consumed with the Gaya and lock was busy courting his daughter they had not connected they had not been intimate but could she leave him could she go back to the person she had been before all this Claire Danner Crispen mother of four local Artisan generally good and moral person could she go back to Jason and Siobhan snap herself back into her rightful place what would her life be like without lock she couldn't imagine anymore the conclusion that Claire had come to while she was lying in bed was that she would tell Siobhan she had ended the affair and then continue it secretly she would be back to lying to everyone Claire had thought the day before the Gaya would be busy but she was wrong everything had been taken care of the tent was up the production team was hanging lights setting up the audio prepping the stage the contract musicians were flying in that afternoon and Edward had an associate picking them up and delivering them to their hotel Gavin had organized the table numbers the seating chart the who went where the chandelier was safe and sound in the concession stand tomorrow it would be unpacked and put on display Claire had called Bruce Mandalay one final time to make sure Matthew was on his way his flight leaves in an hour Bruce said HEK be there at 7:00 your time you just have to make sure you get all of the alcohol out of your house yes Claire said absolutely he went out to the bars for the first time in months the night before last he found himself a fight and spent the night in jail it hit the tabloids today oh no Clare said he needs to get out of town Bruce said n Tucket will be good for him Claire took the beer and half a bottle of vion out of the fridge she took the beer out of the fridge in the garage she took the Vodka out of the freezer she took the Jin Mount gay Patron quvo vermouth amoretto and grand marer out of The Liquor Cabinet leaving only club soda tonic lime juice and a sticky jar of Marino cherries she put all the alcohol in the super secret storage place where they hid the kids presents and she locked the door Matthew would be there in a matter of hours CLA called the office it was the day before the Gaya surely there were things to do everything is under control Gavin said have you heard from Isabelle Claire said I left a message with her Tuesday and again yesterday and I sent an email but I haven't heard back I'm afraid she won't come to the Gayla she's coming to the Gayla Gavin said he sounded pretty confident about that and CLA relaxed a little so there is nothing for me to do she said nothing he said Jason was taking the kids to the beach sure you don't want to come Jason said no Claire said I'd better stay here and wait wait for what Matthew wasn't due in until 7 that evening CLA wiped down the countertops yet again the house was clean the guest room as Immaculate and comfortable as the Four Seasons Claire had stocked her kitchen with chocolate milk and Nilla wafers and the freezer was full of cherry Italian ice CLA checked on pan her fever was down to 100.7 and her spots were starting to itch a good sign she was sitting up in bed reading Harry Potter Claire brought her a fresh glass of ice water and a mug of Thai Fire broth I'm sorry I can't work pan said don't be sorry we'll figure something out Claire left the room she had calls out to four different babysitters and she was now waiting to hear back she would figure something out earlier in the week Claire had bumped into Libby Jenkins one of the Gayla coair from last year in town Libby had asked how are you doing and Clare had said great we're right on track Libby had said don't worry it's still early everything tends to fall apart at the last minute she laughed Claire had laughed along thinking clearly the woman has no interest in bolstering my self-confidence as it was things were held together with string and chewing gum Matthew was coming off a bad drinking binge the oair had the chickenpox Isabelle wasn't speaking to her and Claire was being blackmailed by her best friend in typical fashion CLA had succumbed to Siobhan rather than fight her she had caved in rather than say no I will not let you blackmail me she had said yes I will let you blackmail me I will end things with lock just let me get through the weekend Clare said okay shobhan agreed they had parted amicably they had kissed goodbye no doubt the place where Clare could be most helpful today was in the catering kitchen helping Siobhan but Clare did not want to work under Siobhan's judgmental eye CLA would be chopping cilantro and Siobhan would be thinking sinner cheater lying Madame bowy aren't you worried about your soul CLA checked her her email nothing Isabelle had not turned up Claire checked her outfit she had finally found the perfect dress at Gypsy it was a Colette denigan of green and gold lace it was formfitting but flirty and feminine silky Lacy sexy Claire checked her high heels and the jewelry she planned to wear she confirmed her hair appointment at the salon in the morning 40 women were Gathering to decorate tablecloths flower arrangements candles tasteful and discreet balloons lock would make a speech then give a short PowerPoint presentation Adams would do the thank yous Petro Da Silva would auction the chandelier Matthew would perform Claire sunk into the sofa there was nothing to do but wait wait for things to go wrong he had played for Queen Elizabeth Princess Diana Nelson Mandela Jacques shirro Julia Roberts Robert dairo Jack Nicholson the Sultan of brunai the Daly Lama he had played Bill Clinton's second inauguration and Super Bowl 28 he had played at both the Oscars and the Grammys he had played Shay Fenway Madison Square Garden minute made Park the LA Forum Soldier Field the Meadowlands he had sung with Buffett Tom Petty Dylan Clapton Ray Charles Jerry Lee Lewis Harry conic Jr Harry bellafonte and the boss he had recorded soundtracks for 16 major Motion Pictures two HBO series and five commercials including ones for Coca-Cola and Radio Shack and Max West AKA Matthew Westfield thought he had never been so nervous as when he arrived on Nantucket to see Claire Danner again well maybe once on the dark school bus in December 1986 the bus that was taking the chorus from the elderly folks home in Kate May back to their High School in Wildwood Matthew and Claire were Juniors they had been best friends since they were 12 he had slept next to her platonically in bed he had seen her pee he had seen her puke beer out her nose she had broken up with Timmy Carl's bad and he had listened to her cry for 3 weeks he had broken up with Ivonne Simpson and Claire had fallen down the stairs on her way to get the phone at 2: in the morning when he called to tell her on that night on the school bus Matthew was feeling good he had performed three numbers with the barber shop quartet and the old people's eyes had lit up they had smiled they had clapped and called out Bravo encore it was his first taste of being a star and he was high from it he thought I never want this feeling to end he had brought those people whose lives were nearing their dismal end happiness just by singing so let's say it was all timing Claire laid her head on his shoulder put her hand on his leg and said you were great I'm proud of you he had immed mediately gotten an erection which was at 16 not an uncommon thing he had in fact masturbated while thinking of CLA more than once though he never would have admitted it to her or anyone else she was his closest friend close enough to be his sister he shouldn't feel this way about her but he did his dick was a shaft of glowing steel her head on his shoulder and her hand on his leg were bright burning spots his heartbeat was an amplif Baseline surely she could feel it should he kiss her he wanted to kiss her but either she would become angry which he didn't want or she would laugh which he couldn't bear he sat through one two three agonizing moments was he brave enough he was 16 but he had the wisdom somehow to know that another Moment Like This wasn't likely to come along anytime soon the dark bus him a star he lifted her head he kissed her it remained the singular kiss of his life romantic nonsense this was the question Matthew had asked himself over and over again since October when he had learned he would be seeing CLA again was it all just romantic nonsense a fixation from his youth would she even be recognizable to him as the same person when he saw her would she still have any of the qualities that he treasured and had kept in his heart all these years had she aged had she changed this was the kind of nervousness he supposed people felt when they attended High School reunions which he never did for obvious reasons Jesus the anticipation was killing him his evasive thought of course was that he needed a drink and he did keep alcohol on the plane for emergencies such as this one but he had had it all removed specifically for this flight because he knew himself he knew he would want a drink but he didn't want to have been drinking when he saw Claire he had nearly derailed 2 days earlier he had gone out with Archie Cole the drummer from Sugar Shack who was so young and clueless he didn't realize Max was an alcoholic they got completely hammered on jyn and tequila and Archie picked a fight with a complete Bozo at one of the clubs and Max in an attempt to help Argie out got socked in the eye and ended up in the slammer it was typical idiot stuff he had to stop the plane landed but they were delayed on the runway Matthew whipped out his cell phone and sent her a text message just landed I'm nervous a second later his phone beeped the message from CLA said don't be nervous I'm here alone there was a special part of the airport for private planes Matthew sat searching out the window fidgeting let me off where was she she was there somewhere finally they opened the hatch and let the stairs down and the pilot said welcome to Nantucket Island and Terry and Alfonso who had been asleep woke up and descended before him sometimes when Max West's plane landed the press or a private citizen got wind of it and there was a crowd of fans waiting screaming and waving signs and it never failed to make Matthew feel like one of the Beatles but this time tonight when he descended there was only one person waiting she had gotten security clearance because she was standing there at the bottom of the stairs alone as promised Matthew looked at her and his mind went blank she smiled at him grinned really like a 17-year-old girl and rung her hands what did he think he couldn't think he was gazing upon something beautiful that he had lost but that now a amazingly was found Claire she was herself the red hair the thin white wrists the green eyes she reached out for him and he hugged her and his eyes filled with tears they did not speak he lifted her up off the ground she was as light as a feather it was miraculous as miraculous as if she'd been dead all these years but had somehow been brought back to life his Claire in the car she talked and he gawked he sat in the front seat of her SUV which smelled like rug shampoo Terry and Alfonso were in the back Alfonso was smoking finally gratefully after Claire had assured him it was okay and he was careful to blow the smoke out the window Matthew held cla's hand he couldn't help himself because his Primary Emotion was fear that she would vanish he had last seen her Jesus 12 years earlier at a concert at Boston Garden she had come backstage with Jason who was at that time her fiance Matthew had been married to Stacy then though he was drinking heavily and their marriage was on the Rocks Stacy had been jealous of CLA and their meeting backstage was chaotic and awkward Matthew had been drunk or high he had paid too much attention to Jason trying to impress or intimidate him and not enough attention to CLA though Stacy accused him otherwise then Clare disappeared into the crowd and Matthew was too high to feel the loss of her he felt it months later his first time at hazeldon he would not lose her again she was whole and perfect and AR fact Unearthed she did not know it as she chimed along about the Gayla but he had no intention of letting her go she dropped Terry and Alonso off at their hotel and then they were alone she thanked him yet again for coming to play and he said I would do anything for you CLA Danner and you know it at a stop sign she reached across the car and touched his face what happened here he had a dark purple Crescent beneath his eye and some yellowing on his swollen upper cheek where he'd taken that punch I was out of line he said got what I deserved you were drinking Claire asked drinking and stupid Matthew said what he needed was someone to keep him on the straight and narrow someone like Claire it won't happen while I'm here I promise okay she said they pulled into her driveway the house was large and lovely lit from within he had pictured Claire in just such a house happy and bright she deserved it here already he said he should have asked her to drive around some show him the island even though it was nearly dark he didn't want to go inside and face the husband and the kids he wanted CLA to himself here already she said max West was a rockstar but since Bess and the dogs had left he had gotten used to being alone Claire lived in a house full of people her husband a slew of kids so many people Matthew this is Jason CLA said you remember my husband Jason Crispen Matthew did not remember Jason he could not have picked Jason out of a crowd of two they had met so long ago and Max had been wasted and nothing about Jason was remarkable he was a big guy well bigger than Matthew and rock solid with muscles he was tan he had blonde hair and there was a day growth on his face he was a handsome enough guy Matthew supposed but was he special enough for Claire Max didn't think so could Max take him in a fight that remained to be seen hey man how you doing Jason said he had an aggressive handshake and that eager glint in his eye that everyone got when they met Max West good to see you again I am a huge fan Matthew smiled so underwhelming not special enough for Claire not even close the most interesting thing about Jason was that he was drinking something from a blue plastic Stadium cup was it beer and if it was would underwhelming Jason offer Matthew one because being in Claire's actual house and meeting her actual family was making him anxious and when he got anxious he got thirsty he needed a drink underwhelming Jason noticed Matthew's gaze he tipped his cup and said iced tea can I get you one ice tea Matthew nearly groaned Bruce had called no thanks man Matthew said I'm all set meanwhile Claire had the children lined up like Russian dolls ready to meet him and she was running through the names Jaden Odyssey or did she say honesty he missed the third one's name completely but caught that the baby's name was Zach the kids were beautiful gorgeous with their golden red hair their summer Tans their gap-toothed Smiles these were his kids it's nice to meet you Matthew said to his kids I brought presents he unzipped his duffel and pulled out the black Louis vitton shopping bag that his assistant Ashland had handed him on the tarmac at LAX he sent her at the last minute to Rodeo Drive to get the kids gifts they're little kids he'd said or maybe some of them are grown two boys two girls get a range the kids ravaged the packages as if it was Christmas morning he Matthew was Santa Claus Claire and Jason looked on politely CLA said you didn't have to bring them anything Matthew they have everything under the sun but we don't have one of these the oldest boy what was his name shouted he held up a silver kibr lighter what is that Claire said let me look at it she flipped it open flame it's a lighter Matthew filled with Dread there was a typical rockar move buy a 10-year-old boy $100 Italian lighter so he can take up smoking weed in the basement with style mom give it back the kid said I want it you're going to burn the house down CLA said she was laughing sort of it was strained Matthew could not look at Jason the worst thing was that now Matthew would have to fire Ashland a lighter what had she been thinking what else is there Matthew asked nervously a bong a handgun there were two Louis Vuitton silk scarves for the girls as well as some Chanel eyeshadow in the blue palette Claire looked like she was going to pop a vein she would never run off with him now in the Box for the baby Zach was a remote control Ferrari tester Roa that was a hit with everyone except the Baby Jason especially seemed enthralled Max exhaled relaxed a little bit okay Ashland could keep her job can I get you something to drink Claire said we have iced tea water milk chocolate milk juice OJ pomegranate and apple cranberry or I could make coffee espresso cappuccino regular decaf Matthew was dying to ask for a beer just one cold beer the situation was unusually stressful so he deserved one beer he wouldn't get drunk he was a gin man beer for him was like juice but he couldn't bring himself to ask Claire would be disappointed in him and she would know how weak he really was unable to last 10 minutes without a drink he opted for coffee and Claire made a pot the evening wore on Matthew wanted to be with CLA and Clare alone it was CLA after all that he'd come to see but cla's house was a circus it was the boardwalk on an August Night it was an obstacle course Matthew was introduced to the nanny a thae girl named pan who had the chickenpox she stood across the room bowing to him and he thought of Ace in Bangkok in the end he had given her $5,000 to help her pay for college sa cop Matthew said he could say hello in 40 languages did Claire know this pan giggled and ducked back into her room Matthew would much rather have talked to pan but underwhelming Jason was right there at his side dogging him that's right man you toured in Asia what was that like man what was it like Matthew could talk about this all day he had played for people with totally different belief systems Buddhists Muslims Hindus but underwhelming Jason like every other American man wanted to talk about the girls the perks the money Matthew needed a drink he needed some quiet time alone with Claire he found it hard to believe that mankind had created the iPod a 10o slab of plastic that could play 20,000 songs but had been unable to invent a way to travel back in time 20 years to the happiest days of your life and allow you to stay there Claire she fussed over him put out a bowl of vanilla wafers his favorite and brought him a bag of frozen peas for his eye it grew later and finally she excused herself to put the kids to bed it's so good to see you she said before she went upstairs I'm really glad you're here but you're coming back downstairs right he said desire had thickened his voice he sounded Ed to his own ears like he was tipping his hand Jason grew silent and looked at Claire yes CLA said I'll be back down to say good night he was nuts he thought believing that he might have some time alone with Claire when her husband was in the house it would be smarter to wait until the morning when underwhelming Jason went to work however much to Matthew's Delight Jason retired first he was an early riser he said by way of apologizing it seemed Matthew shook Jason's hand giddy to see him go the feeling of being in a Time Warp intensified how many late nights had Matthew and Claire sat up watching a movie Waiting for Sweet Jane to go to bed so they could fool around left alone to his own devices Matthew hunted through the fridge for a beer nothing there was a bar in the living room a beautiful built-in bar with rows of sparkling glasses but the cabinets were empty of everything but mixers and garnishes Claire had done her homework it was an act of love he knew a demonstration that she cared about his well-being but it was maddening he wouldn't survive another minute without a drink so he sneaked quickly to the fridge in the garage empty he returned to the living room defeated and shaking from too much caffeine the Tha Oar appeared in her night gown he noticed her necklace a tiny Silver Bell and he reached out to touch it that's pretty he said thank you she said she was covered with plump red spots I get you anything I need a drink he thought he could enlist the opair to help him but Claire would know she would find out and she would be so disappointed or maybe like Bess she operated on zero tolerance and she would ask him to leave I'm all set he said thanks pan bowed and Matthew repaired to the back deck the tender bruised skin around his eye throbbed with pain he was a rock star and and the world was his oyster he could have anything he wanted but could he have Claire he was as spoiled as a child Bess had said this time and again he was used to instant gratification the best things in life she'd said are the things you have to wait for well he had waited 20 years for CLA he could wait 10 more minutes couldn't he was she feeling the same way he was would she leave with him he wanted to know now tomorrow he thought he would have a drink he was here in her house she still had a hard time believing it the second coming of Matthew he was waiting for her on the back deck his elbows resting behind him on the railing his legs angled forward he was in jeans and bare feet watching for her she grinned he was here it was him God he said you are still so beautiful that voice it had always been his voice more than his looks that had captivated her he put an arm around her and she leaned into him it was friendly and comfortable they were sliding back into their old identities their teenage selves it is so great to see you I know she said honestly it's like we were never apart he gave her a squeeze they didn't say anything else for a while though there were things she might have asked him things she wanted to know about Bess about his drinking problem about his famous affair with Savannah bright but it was better somehow to pretend for a minute that none of that had ever happened she wanted to forget lock and Jason and the kids inside and just try to locate her old self she wanted to be that girl on the boardwalk in the dunes eating lobster jumping into the passenger side of the yellow bug she wanted to rest in Matthew's arms and pretend for 5 minutes he smelled the same was that possible he had as a teenager smelled like whatever brand of discount laundry detergent Sweet Jane favored and secondhand smoke from his older sister's cigarettes and that was how he still smelled she looked up at his face a face she had most frequently seen in the past 12 years on the screen of VH1 he started humming in her ear and then the humming turned into singing he was very softly singing stormy eyes in her ear a private concert for Claire he had written the song for her the week before they parted ways stormy eyes became his first hit he held her face she was crying now of course she was crying he couldn't sing that song to her and not expect her to cry and then he kissed her he kissed her slowly carefully and she thought of Matthew on the dark bus a sudden surprise Superstar sweet Rosie ogrady Matthew with his guitar slung across his back Matthew the night they played strip poker and he got so so jealous that girl of mine makes me crazy Matthew standing beside the examining table Claire was pregnant she knew it Matthew was going to have to sell the peel and she was going straight to hell anemia Matthew on stage at the pony CLA standing behind him banging the tambourine against her hip like Tracy Partridge he was already gone from her she could see it even before Bruce introduced himself before they drove to New York in Bruce's pinto and Bruce bought Claire a cheeseburger and Coke at a Turnpike rest stop she could have held on tighter she knew that but she let him go and look what happened he became a star and as a star he'd come back to her here he was could all these thoughts be contained in a single kiss it seemed impossible but yes he pulled away I love you Claire I want you to come with me when I leave she was confused and do what she said live with me marry me Matthew she said the idea struck her as funny and then it struck her as sad he was so lost and she was lost too more lost than he knew will you he said oh she said oh oh oh dear darling grace of God he was asking her for real he meant it I wish I could believe me when I say A Part of Me wishes I could your kids can come with us we'll get a tutor lots of people do it on the road it will be good for them to see other countries to learn other languages experience other cultures Matthew she said I have a life here you'll have a life with me please I need you you need someone but that someone isn't me it is you you're telling me you don't feel it she felt something what was it vestiges of old heartache intense Nostalgia delight at seeing him at touching him at hearing him tell her she was still beautiful a part of her wanted to run away with him a part of her wanted to escaped the turmoil she'd created just leave run off go on tour take the kids or leave them behind get out of there she had a lot of feelings but she did not mistake any of them for love she kissed him on the tip of his nose he still had the scar measles age seven she hadn't seen him in forever but she knew him so well she knew what was best for him he had not wanted to go to California to record the album he didn't want to leave her she said if you don't go now you'll miss your big chance they fought about it she insisted you have to go he couldn't figure out why she was pushing him away things should have been the other way around he should be wanting to go she should be begging him to stay things were backward he went he wrote stormy eyes he became a rock icon he may have forgotten all this she would remind him in the morning she laid her head against his chest in there his heart was rattling everything is going to be okay she said someone had told her this recently but who was it Matthew relaxed he may have believed her chapter 12 she knocks it down she woke up with a burst of adrenaline as if someone next to her had rung the Bell this was it post time Jason had gone to the dowy flake he would have breakfast check on things at the work site and be back by 10 so that CLA could head to the tent to decorate he'd left a note on the counter look outside she looked there was a crowd of people on the culdesac in front of their house what were they doing there autographs a voice said behind her CLA turned Matthew peered over her shoulder out the window they're here for me they are Claire said really this she had not predicted that people would know Matthew was staying here that they would come here camp out with their cell phones and their iPods hoping to see him touch him talk to him really Matthew said it happens everywhere you go everywhere your eye looks better does it no she said he smiled but she knew he was hurting the problem she decided was that they had never had proper closure their relationship was a campfire that had smoldered for years it had not been dowed Matthew was lonely without B he was a hostage to his alcohol addiction and he was grabbing for Claire because she was stable or so he believed but they couldn't go back to Wildwood Crest in 1987 no matter how much either of them wanted to what would you like for breakfast a bloody mary Matthew I'm kidding you promised me you'd be sober for tonight I'm kidding Claire grabbed his arm upstairs she heard Zach crying I would make you miserable I don't believe that he said she touched his cheek carefully below his black eye I love you Claire he said and she said I know she was a get it done machine she had yet to nail down a babysitter but as she was flipping a tower of Pancakes for Matthew and the kids it dawned on her she stepped outside the gawkers were gathered on the cesac like a Greek chorus Claire approached three teenage girls and asked if any of them could babysit that night all three had planned to crash the Gaya to hear Max West sing but one the oldest most together looking one Hannah her name was agreed to babysit if she could get her picture taken with Max West done Claire said we'll need you at 5 she was the Energizer Bunny she was stage manager Den mother multitasking Superwoman she tied 500 Silver B moons to the backs of chairs she centered flower arrangements and smoothed tablecloths she reviewed the timetable with Gavin she inspected The Green Room no alcohol in there right right she folded programs she called Jason 12 times she had a birthday party from 1 to 3 the present was wrapped he just had to drop her off and pick her up and Zach could sleep in the car JD was going to the fisk's house Odie was not allowed to wear the ey Shadow Matthew had brought no matter how convincingly she made her case no TV for the kids today and no cigarettes for Jason I'm going to need you to be Charming tonight talk to people make conversation even though you hate it okay Jace okay boss he said Claire avoided the prep kitchen Siobhan would put her to work and although she didn't have time to punch out 500 rounds of Brios with a biscuit cutter she would be too cowardly to turn Siobhan down Claire did not see lock nor did she see Isabelle when she drove back to the house to pick up Matthew she found him commingling with the gawkers on the culdesac had any of them given him alcohol or weed she was suspicious but she didn't have time to investigate we have to go she said in the car Matthew said are you breathing CLA said if we don't haul ass we're going to be late he said I don't think I've ever seen you like this they picked up Terry and Alfonso and drove back to the tent for the soundcheck this time Claire did look for lock and she did look for Isabelle no luck and she felt a flash of self-righteous indignation where were they why weren't they helping the executive director and the event coach chair Claire checked the green room again while Matthew was on stage no alcohol in here right right CLA went to her hair appointment she had her head tipped back in the sink and hot water rushing over her scalp when the stylist said you seem kind of tense right Claire thought could she even begin to explain today was the day tonight the night it was the culmination of a Year's work so much had happened so much had changed she had changed she had spent hundreds of hours and thousands of dollars thousands of hours and tens of thousands of dollars she had experienced all of the stress and heartache promised to her at the beginning and then some and in 8 hours it would be over Claire would be in bed the thought should have been the source of enormous Joy and relief but instead CLA felt depressed all that anticipation and buildup and preparation and like everything else it would end they would be left with what a pile of money hope and happiness for kids who needed it that was the whole point Gavin arrived at Isabelle's house at 5:00 they had time for one drink and then they had to go Gavin had Myriad responsibilities at the tent the Gaya would not come off properly without him there directing he should skip the drink and proceed post haste to the tent but Isabelle had been adamant come at 5 we'll have time for one drink and Gavin found her impossible to deny she was sitting on the bench by the koi pond in the foyer when he arrived he didn't have to knock the front door was wide open and she was waiting for him dressed in a stunning red Valentine of a gown with her hair like a waterfall over her shoulders she raised her face when he walked in and he could tell she'd been crying are you okay he said she all but collapsed in his arms hopes for a light Breezy and quick drink went down the drain I just just got off the phone with my ex-husband she said he didn't have time for this he had to get to the tent there were 50 volunteers currently donning black t-shirts and eating a staff meal of hot dogs and macaroni salad donated by the stoping shop waiting for him to give them their orders Gavin knew nothing about the business of ex-husbands or of emotional Intimacy in general call him self absorbed that was probably true but no one else's problems had ever captured his full attention but in this case his reticence was founded he had to get to the tent run the Gayla Isabelle was the co-chair she should know this is everything okay he said he called ostensibly to wish me good luck tonight she said but every time we talk we get sucked down into the same old emotional Quagmire Gavin was holding her tentatively she was warm in his arms and she smelled like powdered sugar I made such a fool of myself last fall she said there was another man I was in love with him he said he was in love with me in fact he said he was in love with me first and that was why I fell in love with him but he was a compulsive liar he couldn't leave his wife never had any intention of doing so despite frequent Promises to the contrary and then he claimed that he was staying with her for financial reasons that he loved me but he couldn't let her put him through the ringer and he had kids a [ __ ] daughter in a home and two boys at Collegiate he didn't want to lose them she stopped can I get you a drink uh Gavin said sure he took a deep breath the koi pond made bubbly noises at his feet and he watched the fish darting through the water it might have been better if he'd been born a fish the world of human beings of relating to them in a meaningful way bewildered him Lo and Claire Edward and Siobhan the guys who'd led him astray at cap and Lehigh poor Diana prell in the broom closet even his own parents he had never understood them he didn't know how firmly or gently to hold Isabelle she had thrust herself upon him but he'd been holding her now for a few minutes should he let her go or pull her closer but we should probably leave soon she raised her face to him would you kiss me it was official he was flustered how many times had he chastised himself for not kissing Isabelle on the night of the invitation stuffing when they were alone standing close together under the intoxicating spell of the Moon Garden that had been a painful moment of cowardice on his part A M opportunity but this was different the sunlight was intense and Gavin's every muscle and tendon was alert to the pressing need to get going he was always on time his father's fault to be early is to be on time to be on time is to be late to be late is to be forgotten there was no time for kissing and yet Isabelle was poised eyes fluttering closed face raised lips parted ever so slightly Gavin was a man he did not need to be asked twice he kissed her the kiss was soft and sweet she was a cookie a confection he had in the past been too aggressive with women but that was perhaps because other women had not been as delicious as Isabelle she smiled at him thank you she said she laid her head against his chest he touched The Shining curtain of her hair I'm looking forward to tonight yes he said me too Gavin was The Man In Charge he had the clipboard with 1,000 names and 100 table numbers he had the timetable he had the notes for Lock's remarks and Adam's remarks he had organized the volunteers he was the point person for the production sta for Siobhan and her crew and for Max West in The Green Room if you have a question lock heard a woman wearing a black volunteer t-shirt say ask that cute guy in the madress pants Lo had a question he had a series of questions there was according to Ben Franklin more than $50,000 missing from their bank account $50,000 lock had spent the the whole day pouring over the financials while Gavin was at the tent organizing just in case Ben Franklin was truly losing it but no lock saw the cash skimmed from every deposit and it made him sick Not only would Gavin be fired and possibly arrested but Lo might lose his job as well for not paying attention or he might be implicated in the whole scheme it was Unthinkable that Lock's name would be dragged through the mud for this lock was the first person to get a drink at the bar he ordered glasses of white wine for himself and Daphne and a coke with a cherry for Heather but the whole time he kept his eye trained on Gavin who was clearly in his element with his clipboard and his earpiece basking in his own self-importance how could Lo feel anything but grossly betrayed betrayed one minute and hypocritical the next lock was hiding his own cash of sins and it was for this reason alone that lock had decided to wait until after the Gaya to confront Gavin he would do it quickly and kindly not only to minimize negative press toward nantucket's children but also for Gavin's sake lock drank his first glass of wine quickly across the green expanse of field he saw CLA she was stunning damn it the sight of her pained him the dress she wore was light green and gold and it draped around her body in such a way that Lo could easily picture her nude underneath the Lacy material her legs looked amazing because of her high heels and she negotiated with the heels gracefully even in the grass her hair had been straightened and smoothed and it fell around her face face in beautiful lines she was luminous a movie star everyone was looking at her everyone wanted to talk to her lo felt a surge of jealousy she was his Lo got another drink he had to be careful he didn't want to have too much before he gave his remarks thanked everyone for coming and started the PowerPoint presentation but his mind was careening one way and then another it was a sled without a rider whoosh down the mountain down a double fault line Gavin Claire Daphne Heather around him the cocktail hour was in full swing everyone was chatting and laughing he had to get out there and shine that was his job he wanted first to find Daphne and Heather Daphne needed monitoring and lock didn't want to squander a single second with Heather she was leaving for school in 2 days but there were people to talk to they appeared one after another popping up in his path hands to shake connections to establish or reinforce he wanted to keep his eye on Claire and Gavin he oozed Schoo but his mind was a runaway he spied Isabelle French looking lovely in a red dress Isabelle was another Wild Card she had been so upset so offended by the slight in the magazine she had told lock that she would see the Gayla through to the end but then she was resigning from the board withdrawing her financial support it would be another stain on Lock's record lock saw Daphne and Heather talking to one of their neighbors Daphne held her wine glass Al Loft for lock to see he repaired to the bar to get her another drink Daphne Claire Isabelle Gavin Gavin when lock approached the bar Gavin was standing there alone he was slouching against the bar in an uncharacteristically casual way as though he were playing a part in a western when he saw lock he grinned this is great he said all these people it's amazing Lo had overestimated his own kindness he could not stand to listen to Gavin utter one word about how exciting the Gayla was when the man had single-handedly robbed the cause of more than $50,000 as lock looked at Gavin now the pieces of the puzzle fell into place Gavin's skittishness around the office his sense of proprietorship over the finances his anxiety about getting to the bank at lunchtime and the way that when he returned from the bank he looked like the cat that had eaten the canary Lo had actually wondered if Gavin had a crush on one of the tellers at the bank so obvious was the change in his demeanor from businesslike to slap Happy it had been Ben's granddaughter Eliza who had called Gavin into question in the first place she took special notice of the nantucket's children transactions because her grandfather was on the board of directors why did Gavin walk with so much cash thousands of dollars she told Ben doesn't seem right she said and Ben said no my dear it doesn't lock had promised himself he would wait until Monday to discuss the financials with Gavin but because of his anger and the whine and the zooming trajectory of his thoughts he found he could not wait it was just the two of them alone at the bar no one else was around what were the chances it was a sign I have to talk to you about something Lo said the smile fell off Gavin's face like a man jumping off a building I have the money in a duffel bag he said in my car I want to give it back lock stared he was not prepared for the admission nor the offer of restitution he had the money in his car he wanted to give it back it's not going to be that easy lock said Gavin cleared his throat I know about you and Claire he said now lock was the one to lose his composure or almost but at that moment the bartender slid Lock's drinks across the counter and lock was able to divert his attention long enough to accept the drinks and pitch a couple of bucks into the tip bowl no about Claire no how Lock's eyes sought out Heather Jesus I don't know what you're referring to lock said Gavin side I came into the office one night when you were there with her I saw everything heard everything saw everything heard everything Lock's sensibilities were offended one night when he and Claire were making love Gavin had been present watching okay Lo said with preternatural calm he had made a tactical error he should have waited as he' planned I will tell Daphne Gavin said I will tell Heather I will tell Jason Crispen I will tell Isabelle I will send the Ugly Truth through this tent and by the time dinner is served everyone will know you would do that lock said of course you would you've been stealing from the cause for months so it's no surprise that you would blackmail me to keep yourself from getting in trouble I want to give the money back Gavin said it was a mistake a mistake lock checked his suroundings to see if anyone was listening was the bartender listening Lo had to seal this up somehow he couldn't handle it now let's talk about it on Monday lock said you and me in confidence you'll come in at 7 Gavin nodded once briskly was he appeased would he keep his mouth shut did he trust lock to save him why would he it was safe to say that trust between them now was out of the question what linked them was fear Gavin took his glass of wine and his clipboard and disappeared into the crowd a mistake when you committed a crime or broke a commandment either a religious commandment or one of your own making and you did so willingly with both eyes open was it fair to call it a mistake maybe it was was never again never again never again Siobhan was shouting in her mind but Whispering under her breath she would never again cater two Titanic events back to back she would never cater again without Carter she would never cater again period she would sell the business and go back to making sandwiches and scooping ice cream at the pharmacy on Main Street she would marry Edward mellor and live a life of leisure she would go to lunch instead of making lunch and serving lunch because this was hell the tent she was working in was hot and airless she had been up all night for three nights running prepping the dinner and because she didn't have enough staff and because her husband was a compulsive Gambler she had ignored the past ordures she had 500 pieces of three different things which was put mildly not enough CLA poked her head into the catering tent Siobhan noted unhappily that CLA looked fantastic she was freaking heidy cloom in that Sensational dress and she had finally found a stylist who knew what to do with her hair but Claire strolling in all cool and beautiful infuriated Siobhan to make matters worse Claire was wearing the strand of pearls that their father-in-law Malcolm had given her when she gave birth to J D the first child to carry on the Crispen name she was flaunting her own Good Fortune by wearing those pearls she was announcing herself as the have to her sister-in-law the have not sioban felt like Cinderella the little adulteress was out sipping vion while Siobhan slaved inside a plastic bag Claire said there aren't enough ordures Shavon people are complaining and they're getting very drunk they've decimated the cheese table and the Raw Bar the only things left are some lemon wedges and rinds of Brie you have to send out more food Pronto Pronto Siobhan wanted to slap her I don't have anything ready Siobhan said let them get drunk what Claire said she looked around the tent Siobhan's staff was furiously plating dinner where is Carter finally she had noticed that Siobhan was doing this all alone if I had to guess I would say harz in Atlantic City what CLA said I kicked him out it's a long story that I do not have time to explain sioban said do you have anything else to say or are you only here to ride my ass shoban nice pearls sioban spat Claire got the key to the concession stand from the security guard it was time to bring out the chandelier I'd be careful carrying it in those shoes the security guard said point taken Claire said she should have had someone help her but she couldn't find lock or Jason Claire scanned the crowd she saw Jason standing at one of the tall cocktail tables talking to Daphne Dixon Daphne looked gorgeous in a coral halter dress that put her beautiful tit on display Claire sighed the sight of Jason and Daphne together unsettled her but there was no time to pry them away from each other and where was lock okay forget it Claire would get the chandelier herself there was a table outside the entrance of the tent where the chandelier was to sit and Garner everyone's admiration on the way into dinner Claire made her way across the field her heels catching in the grass every now and again there hadn't been rain thank God but a field was still a field Flats would have been a better call but the dress called for heels she would pay for her vanity tomorrow when her feet achd a couple stood outside the locked concession stand deep in conversation Claire did not look at them closely she had no desire to interrupt but then the woman made a noise and CLA did look over it was Isabelle and Gavin Isabelle Claire called out in spite of herself God I tried to reach you all week Isabelle sniffed and adjusted the straps of her dress her dress was beautiful and simple a red sheath with satin piping hello CLA she said Clare looked between Isabelle and Gavin I don't mean to interrupt she said I just came to get the chandelier oh right Isabelle said is everything okay Claire wondered if Isabelle was crying because of the article in nanm mag was it that big of a deal or maybe she was upset that none of her friends had come to the event maybe she was crying over her bad divorce whatever it was she had chosen a curious person to comfort her Gavin it gave Claire pause I'm sorry Clare said I really didn't mean to interrupt just ignore me Clare unlocked the concession stand behind her the party raged despite the fact that there were no ORD derves to speak of the Galla was going smoothly she had not had the nerve to pop into the Green Room to check on Matthew if she found him drinking she would unhinge it was better not to know besides if she popped in to see him and they got into a difficult conversation he might start drinking she would stay away and hope for the best the concession stand had no lights so Claire had to grope through the Gathering dark for the chandelier when she found the box she became aware of Isabelle and Gavin loitering by the open door I've got it CLA said I'll unwrap it at the table she hesitated before the doorway indicating that they should make room which they did and Claire stepped through should she say anything else to Isabelle Isabelle even in the worst of times had been upbeat and indomitable she handw wrote notes on hundreds of invitations despite her shame she got on the phone and interrogated Caterers including the head of the high school cafeteria Claire should congratulate her thank her try one last time to connect with her tomorrow Isabelle French would be out of her life forever but Claire stopped herself Isabelle most certainly did not want to be comforted by CLA for all Clare knew she could be the reason Isabelle was crying Clare had the chandelier and right now she needed to concentrate on delivering it safely to the tent all the way across the field in these heels Clare proceeded slowly carefully the box was Heavy she set the chandelier down on the designated table and unpacked it using scissors to free it from its cocoon of protective bubble wrap a card beside the chandelier read pulled Taffy chandelier in fuchsia artist Claire Danner Crispen starting bid $225,000 people standing around the table oo and OD when when the chandelier was finally revealed Claire tried not to smile but even sitting on the table the chandelier was magnificent she had worked so so hard it's my first piece in nearly 2 years she said to no one in particular at that moment she wished fervently that lock would win it she had made it for him she touched the perfect Arc of the first arm 4 and 1 half hours six tries goodbye she whispered goodbye he'd had three sixpacks since arriving for the soundcheck so 18 beers but it was nothing to worry about Terry and Alonso weren't happy with him he could tell but they weren't going to blow the whistle on him either it was just beer they were relieved he hadn't pulled the tank array out he could have whatever he wanted there was a 19-year-old Nepali kid named Gman in The Green Room whose job it was to fetch Max and the Band Whatever their hearts desired what Matthew desired was beer and beer he got heekin after Heineken in cold green bottles Namaste he popped open another beer number 19 the worst thing about drinking beer was that he constantly had to urinate on his last trip to the Porton he had felt lightheaded whether this was because of the beer or because of his deep Melancholy at leaving the next day he had no idea he wanted to leave with CLA but he had not been able yet to persuade her he entertained fantasies of just staying on N Tucket of living with Claire and Jason and their kids like some kind of eccentric uncle the fact of the matter was he needed a family he should have started one of his own but his lifestyle hadn't cooperated too many drugs too many late nights too little chance for routine and consistency Matthew sneaked Peaks out of the tent across the field Claire was in his crosshairs he tried to appreciate the other women but his eyes always landed on Claire that green dress it was impossible to believe that CLA was even prettier at 37 than she had been at 17 but yes it was true she had grown into herself she had so much confidence now such a way about her a kindness mixed with competence she floated lit from within at that second Matthew saw CLA talking to a balding man in a pink tie CLA tucked herself under his ear and whispered something he in turn touched the small of her back as though he was used to touching her it was the head honcho of the charity the guy had come into the green room and introduced himself a few minutes ago but Matthew couldn't remember the man's name doc dick the man had not seemed particularly Star Struck to meet Max West as so many people were but he had been grateful and businesslike now Matthew saw this dick guy and Claire were on intimate terms God the way he touched her just now his hand on the small of her back practically cupping her ass made Matthew burn with jealousy he couldn't trust himself especially not when he'd been drinking was this dick person the reason CLA had turned him down Matthew called Gman over would you get me a tankage splash of tonic with a very fresh lime he asked please it was going too fast already it was time to sit for dinner everybody was starving the cocktail hour always legendary had been a bit lean in the food department Claire took a deep breath and looked around the tent this was it the Gayla the tent was lit by white Christmas lights and candles the tables were decorated with crisp white linens Crystal goblets and simple Arrangements of pink t- roses in silver Bowls the tent shimmed with the sound of people talking and laughing this was a beautiful party Adams opened a bottle of champagne and poured some for Claire and then kissed her cheek and said you did a great job it wasn't only me Claire said she peered at the next table lock was sitting between Heather and Isabelle Daphne was on the other side of Heather and Gavin who Claire now understood was Isabelle's date was sitting on the other side of Isabelle Dara the chist was at the table with a date and Aster Wyatt the graphic designer was there with his boyfriend none of Isabelle's other friends had shown up Isabelle looked positively morose Claire raised her champagne flute in Isabelle's direction we did it she mouthed Isabelle looked away Claire's heart faltered she took a feeble sip then set her glass down tomorrow she reminded herself it wouldn't matter what Isabelle thought everything tends to go wrong at the last minute they were past the point where everything could go wrong weren't they but Claire worried about dinner Siobhan had not managed to get or derves out even geneveve and her troop of 16-year-olds could have done better when the waiter set down cla's plate however her mind was put at ease the food was beautiful the beef tenderloin was Rosy the lobster salad creamy the wild rice studded with dried cherries and golden raisins like Jewels Claire checked around her service seemed even Claire believed she could hear a collective sigh of relief and then expressions of excitement and joy dinner as dinner was being cleared lock stood up from his place cla's stomach clenched she wasn't ready for this lock took a microphone from one of the production guys and said in a booming voice that quieted everyone good evening Applause people were feeling good now they had been warmed by the cocktail hour and they'd eaten the evening was about to take off like a rocket ship I'm lockart Dixon executive director of nantucket's children and I would like to thank you for coming to our summer Gayla more Applause nantucket's children was founded in 1992 when it came to the attention of our late founder Margaret Kincade that the face of Nantucket was changing there were children of working Islanders whose basic needs were not being met the island needed affordable housing options better after school programs daycare lock went on Claire knew the shiel she looked around at the attractive wealthy people surrounding her did they get it nantu children was about kids whose parents worked as hard as they could to make a life here nantucket's economy depended on this Workforce the island had a responsibility to care for these children Lo finished his speech and raised his hands and the lights in the tent dimmed the video started on a screen that dropped down over the stage kids of all shapes sizes and colors playing ball studying riding bikes walking in groups on the beach the soundtrack played lean on me and Claire missed it up a picture of J D flashed on the screen showing him sitting with a special needs preschool student a book opened between them the read to me program funded by nantucket's children Claire felt conflicted to coair this Gayla had been so hard so draining and it had led her to such a complicated place she looked at the kids faces on the screen the point of the Galla was to raise money money would make a difference she had taken the job as co-chair because she wanted to help because she wanted to return some Goodwill to the universe but it had backfired or had it Claire's nerves attacked her thighs her knees she knew what was coming she looked over at Isabelle's table and was alarmed to see Isabelle stand up push her chair in and stroll to the back of the tent where was she going didn't she know the thank yous were next on the program Gavin stood and followed Isabelle out Adams ambled up onto the stage and took the microphone from Lock CLA turned around searching in vain for Isabelle she was gone Clare tried to signal to Adams but he was off and running on his president of the board speech he thanked Gavin polite Applause though now Gavin was missing too and then he thanked Lo and lock returned to the stage to take a bow Claire looked at Daphne she was as ever scowling and then Daphne stood up and walked out the applause was deafening or so it seemed to CLA she was gripped with fear here was the moment she had been waiting for or one of the moments and she was dreading it no she thought her face blossomed into two red posies calm down she had done harder things than this she had kept her cool while they performed an emergency C-section and pulled Zach out Living Dead healthy impaired she had been introduced during the unveiling of bubbles 3 at the Whitney Museum she had been photographed by the New York Times she had banged the tamber against her hip in front of a packed house at The Stone Pony she must have had Huts by then well if she'd had it she'd lost it she worked alone in the hot shop she raised her family she was not the kind of person who could accept a bouquet of flowers in front of an intimidating crowd like this her heels would snap she would fall there would be a stain on her dress in an embarrassing place there would be something stuck in her teeth she checked again for Isabelle gone in the bathroom and Daphne gone and Matthew too would miss her Shining Moment was it even worth having a Shining Moment if the right people weren't there to watch Isabel it is now my distinct pleasure Adam said to introduce the two women who have made this evening possible these women have been working for nearly a year they have raised money called in FA turned over their lives in service to nantucket's children and the summer Gayla please put your hands together for our Gayla co-chairs ladies and gentlemen Claire Danner crisen and Isabelle French later Claire would say she'd heard the crash the sound was trapped in her subconscious the sound of glass breaking and so even as Claire walked up on stage to accept an armload of lies and delphiniums prom queen Academy Award Miss America her spirit was in a freef fall about to land with a sickening thud the plan for the auction was as follows Petro Da Silva would walk in from the back of the tent holding the chandelier Aloft and for additional drama Ted Trimble had rigged a battery pack so that the chandelier would be illuminated at Petro D Silva was a professional Auctioneer he moonlighted for every charity on the island and he liked to make things interesting strolling through a darkened tent with the precious chandelier a glow had been his idea auction as theater why not the price would go up Claire was in a state of heightened agitation the flowers of the bouquet brushed against her face she was aware that Isabelle had not come up on stage with her Claire had posed for the photographers of both Island newspapers with Adams alone did the audience find it strange that Isabelle was missing Claire wasn't sure nor was she quite sure what was wrong inside her heart but something was definitely wrong on stage with the lights in her eyes she tried to locate Jason where was Jason she thought of Jason as she had first known him his young face glowing warm and orange from the bonfire up at Great point he had brought a cooler of Cherry Stone clams and he shucked them there on the beach and fed them to CLA each one a tiny sweet perfect present that Jason was gone and in his place she now had what the man who had grabbed her hand when Zach took his first steps who kissed her throat the man who had returned to sleep beside her even though she had strayed so far away from herself Jason where was her husband she felt that something awful had happened one of their children had burned to Cinders in the hot shop where was Jason his spot at their table was empty sheay was throwing up in bed all alone odly had been stolen from the house by a stranger who had been stalking her for months in the back of the tent all the way in the back Claire saw Shon her face as pale and pinched as a pie crust Jif flecting in her white Chef's jacket someone was dead when CLA stepped off the stage lock was waiting for her with a stricken face everything tends to go wrong at the last minute here it was the last minute the chandelier fell lock said it broke it fell CLA thought it broke broke she said smashed lock said not possible CLA thought the security guard had been hired specifically to make sure that nothing happened to it the crowd quieted as lock LED Claire out of the tent by the arm they did not know what had happened but they sensed tragedy Adams spoken into the microphone with rousing enthusiasm enjoy your dessert Max West will begin his concert in a matter of minutes it was not a tragedy the chandelier after all was only a thing and yet when Claire saw it lying lopsided in the grass broken smashed ruined she cried out and then she just plain cried blubbered sobbed she turned to lock and said where is Jason hands came around her I'm right here baby God I am so sorry Claire collapsed into him she was crying so hard that Jason couldn't understand what she was saying she had to concentrate on taking a breath repeating herself I want you to call the babysitter ask her are the kids okay I'm sure they're fine call her there was something terribly wrong CLA felt it the lighter JD had set the house on fire with the goddamned lighter he had been flicking it on and off under his covers Claire should have taken the evil thing with her when she left the house the covers of his bed caught fire in the rest of his room the rest of the upstairs where the children were sleeping they would die of smoke inhalation Hannah the babysitter had decided to crash the concert after after all she had left the children alone and now they were dead Jason called Claire was limp against him shivering everyone gathered in a loose Circle lock Adams Ted and Amy Trimble Brent and Julie Jackson not Siobhan though Claire had seen her a few moments earlier not Isabelle not Gavin not Daphne Jason hung up his phone the kids are fine he said they're all asleep even Zach even Zach and Hannah's there you talk to Hannah Hannah's there Pan's there the kids are safe okay she was allowed now to let go her anger her rage her disappointment her heartbreak the house was not on fire her children were safe in bed the chandelier was only a thing an inanimate object a thing CLA she chastised herself for her hot Fountain of tears but they were not to be stopped hundreds of hours of work all that stress and strain a trip to the hospital she'd nearly died because of that godamn chandelier she'd returned to the hot shop only to create it it was a labor of love the best kind of Charity and now it was gone she turned on the gathered crowd in Fury how did it happen she demanded who knocked it over it didn't just fall over all by itself and where is the security guard he was supposed to be watching it no one answered Isabelle clear thought she left the tent and then seconds later the chandelier fell she had been so disillusioned with CLA from the beginning where is Isabelle CLA asked she's back in the tent Adam said eating dessert I can't find Gavin Lo said I thought he was having a cigarette but I've looked everywhere he's vanished vanished Claire thought Gavin wasn't her favorite person but there was no reason for him to break her chandelier topple it and run like some kid who had put a baseball through a window someone probably knocked it over by accident Jason said by accident Claire thought by what carelessly swinging a purse it would have to have been a pretty big purse by carrying a tray loaded down with dessert Samplers Siobhan had been in the back of the tent Crossing herself in the name of the father and the Son and the Holy Spirit do you not care about your soul CLA CLA had seen her but now where was she where was she now when Clare needed her Siobhan was angry Clare knew it she was resentful she had not wanted to cater the Gayla she had wanted to be eating and drinking and wearing her sexy black dress not waiting on everyone hand and foot like a servant she had sat in judgment on Claire she had quite possibly decided on her own to make Claire hang I can't believe nobody saw what happened CLA said where was the security guard there were Crashers Adam said a bunch of girls trying to get in without tickets he was dealing with them Claire stroe up to the bar and cornered the bartender Hunter his name was he had worked for Carter and Siobhan for years did you see who did it CLA asked him you must have seen something he held up his palms my back was turned he said I saw nothing there were only a few people who had seen what happened and one of them was Max West who had been standing outside the door of the green room drinking a cold stinging tank aray and tonic Max had had his eyes glued on the opening of the big tent he was trying to hear what was being said inside the blue Solo Cup was filled to the top with forbidden J in everything for Max was swaying and shimmering he had finally arrived at that place he liked to visit when he was drinking that place where he wasn't sure what was real and what wasn't that place where the world and the people and events and circumstances in it seemed to have been created for his bemusement constantly while drunk he tilted his head in wonder he had seen the chandelier fall had seen who knocked it over but he was afraid to open his mouth to blow the whistle because it just as easily could have been his fault he had been lurching after only a few steps he too was capable of causing a catastrophic accident the chandelier fell it smashed in the grass although the word smash indicated sound and all Matthew heard was a muted crunch mat Matthew looked at the chandelier in the grass should he pick it up he thought I have to stop drinking back in the green room he threw back two shots of espresso and tried to get Bruce on the phone Bruce was at the gym in Burbank on the treadmill he was hesitant to get off he had to lose 20 lbs his doctor said or he was going to have a heart attack is this an emergency Max Bruce said Matthew said yes Matthew tried to explain it as concisely as he could the auction item a chandelier that Claire had made had broken and the charity would need something to auction in its place what can we give it has to be something really good Matthew said they expected this chandelier to go for like 50 Grand $50,000 Bruce said Jesus Max haven't you done enough for this woman you're playing a free concert and you bought her table right for 25 Grand that's enough Max that's plenty why do you feel you have to give her anything else I don't have to Matthew said I want to how to explain it he would do anything for Claire he was on a mission here what can we give them Bruce side how about two tickets to your London concert on Christmas Eve with two backstage passes that's a start but it has to be bigger than that think Big Bruce how about we had first class airfare seven nights in a suite at the canot and Christmas Eve dinner at Gordon Ramsay's place with you Elton John and Paul McCartney I'm having Christmas Eve dinner with Elton John and Paul McCartney you are genius Matthew said Thank you Bruce that should do it Gavin hurried down the grassy strip on the edge of Old South Road with only the tip of his cigarette for illumination he was running but because he was pitifully out of shape he would lose his breath hack out a cough and be forced to stop and walk he had called the airline from his cell phone and booked himself under an assumed name on the last flight off the island he was leaving Nantucket he had dumped all the money minus $500 to get him wherever he was going into the back seat of Ben Franklin's Lincoln Continental he told himself it wasn't stealing since he had given the money back it was just some awful game he'd had fun with for a while it killed him to leave Isabel but she deserved better than him she deserved someone powerful and clever not some Tobit criminal leaving now he was doing Isabelle a favor and lock and CLA too he could ruin their lives rip apart both their families but what would that accomplish nothing but heartbreak he sneaked out while Isabelle was in the bathroom he stood on the far side of the parking lot for a few minutes he couldn't tear himself away until he learned what would happen to the auction what happened was this Petro D Silva and Max West got up on stage and offered the most outrageous auction package the island had ever seen concert tickets backstage passes airfare hotel Christmas Eve dinner with Max Sir Elton John and Sir Paul McCartney or as Max West self-deprecatingly joked two knights and a Nave it went for $100,000 and Max West offered it again for another $100,000 $200,000 Gavin found his heart soaring so much money for the charity so much more than they'd expected it was weird the Elation that Gavin experienced at the gayla's success it was backward he ran he was almost to the turnoff for the airport when the lights came up up behind him he threw down his cigarette squashed it in the grass then felt ashamed of himself for littering the lights were not the lights he'd been fearing or were they he debated between turning around to check and simply bolting how much speed did he have left enough to make it to the airport the airport wouldn't be safe now anyway he would have to hide but where the lights were spinning and Flash in yes definitely police lights but possibly not for him he turned a cruiser pulled up right alongside him there were two cops in the front seat and an old man in the back Ben Franklin Gavin Andrews the driver said it was over then Gavin sunk his hands deep into the pockets of his madous pants and looked back toward the tent he was half a mile away but he could still hear the strains of Max West's singing the tune whatever it was was catchy put your hands where we can see them the Second Officer barked Gavin raised his hands over his head the way he'd seen it done in the movies everyone Gavin knew was committing crimes large and small engaging in scandals acts of corruption delin quency and plain old bad faith but he was the one who had gotten caught it figured he had never sounded better although Claire was shrouded with sadness and rage she could still tell how good he sounded Matthew Max West was putting on a terrific show he was playing all his hits and the guests were all dancing and singing along at the top of their line SS Claire was dancing with Jason Ted and Amy Trimble and Adams and Heidi Fisk they were surrounding her in a circle buffering her as though she were the one who might break the chandelier was gone every time Claire thought this it sickened her it was Hemingway's novel left on a train it was deg's ballerinas gone up in smoke the worst thought was that other people might not view her loss that way way they might see it as nothing more than broken glass easily swept up easily replaced by concert tickets and dinner with celebrities which had in fact brought in four times as much money as the chandelier might have Max West everyone said had swung in on a vine he had saved the day but that didn't begin to mend the gash in Claire's Spirit she had dedicated the better part of a year to the chandelier it was the finest work she'd ever done and it would fall into Oblivion there was no consolation for that she felt a tap on her shoulder lock everyone was dancing but Lo was just standing there staring at her with an expression that threatened to give it all away I need to talk to you he said now yes he said she didn't want to miss even one second of the concert but then Max segued into a cover of dancing queen and since it wasn't actually his song Clare felt okay stepping out as they strolled through the tent lock tried to take her hand CLA glared at him what are you doing she said are you drunk where's your wife your daughter Daphne left because she thought I was paying too much attention to Isabelle he said and Heather went downtown to meet her friend friends where are we going I want to show you something he said in the concession stand I don't think that's a good idea Claire said please 5 minutes she followed him across the shadowy field to the dark concession stand he pointed to the box I packed it up for you he said the remains what was left this is what you wanted to show me I knew it would be important to you he said important that it not get thrown away she peered into the box it was too dark to see clearly but she could make out the lopsided form of the broken chandelier and a pile of shards the box was a casket now you didn't have to keep the shards she said they're dangerous I didn't have the heart to throw them away this was a gesture on his part an effort he'd made to say he understood her loss but he didn't he put his arms around her I love you Claire all this year what we've been through it was for that reason I love you she rested her hands on his jacket lapels she thought back over the past year the times she met him secretly the moments right before they parted when she was sure she would die from longing the confusing time she spent with Father Dominic asking herself over and over again how can a good person do something so bad she would have liked to believe that what she was acting on now was the strength she'd prayed for but the truth was her feelings for lock were weakened and confused she thought about the afternoon he came to the house to talk about the catering he had been so foreign to her on that day so distinct from the man she loved the man she wanted to climb the Eiffel Tower with reincarnate Frank Sinatra for even stand next to in line at the post office on that Pleasant sunny afternoon Claire couldn't wait for lock to leave she thought about the morning when lock helped her transport the chandelier they had sat side by side in the car lock driving clear riding as they might have if they were a real couple but those minutes had been silent and awkward because what was meaningful between them was lost at least to Claire and then last night when Matthew made his plea I want you to come with me marry me Claire had thought I could never leave Jason I could never leave the kids but Lo she could leave with ease it was lock she had wanted to run away from we are so lucky that the only thing that broke was the chandelier she said she raised her head and looked at him for much of the past year he had seemed wonderful and mysterious he had seemed all knowing a repository of wisdom and right answers and sound judgment he had served as her savior she had been needy in ways she didn't even know about and he had filled her up but he was wrong about there being no hell there was a hell and they had narrowly avoided it we could have ruined our lives my marriage could have broken up or yours could have our kids your job our friends Our Lives they all could have ended up in the trash Claire thought of herself Living With Love in a rental house with Claire's children in strange rooms displaced and resentful after 6 months lock would be going to work at night to escape her she in turn would be making secret phone calls to Jason Claire shook the image from her head and filled up with an emotion that was as thick as syrup an emotion she could only describe as Bittersweet God she had loved Lo Dixon so completely with such bright intensity that it had blinded her but now finally it had burned itself out CLA she smoothed his tie the worst thing about adultery in the end was that it had shaken her belief in the things she had always held Sacred Love marriage friendship I need something from you she said yes of course lock said God anything he was Earnest supplicant hurting he had been hurting since she'd met him he was the injured bird on the side of the road the one no one would stop to save but her he was the tar in her hair on her hands weighing one side of her head down impossible to get out he was the one person she had been unable to say no to until now I need you to let me go lock nodded he was stunned maybe or maybe in his infinite wisdom he was saying yes you're right go now while you can Claire didn't ask she hurried back toward the bright tent toward the music Siobhan knew what her childhood priest father Kennedy would say they were all every last one of them Sinners that included Carter her gambling husband and Claire her adulterous best friend that included Shavon herself the whole thing had happened so fast the way it had when Liam broke his arm one second he was handling the puck and the next second he was up against the boards then down on the ice his arm arm dangling off him Siobhan had been setting out dessert Samplers and listening to lock Dixon up on stage giving his sappy save the children speech to Siobhan the whole idea that this evening with its cocktails and canapes and women in their summer diamonds had anything to do with the actual children and Working Families of Nantucket was [ __ ] nonsense this evening was about the guests celebrating their own wealth and good fortune it was about seeing a famous rock star up close it wasn't about doing the right thing so much as being seen doing the right thing Some People Under the Tent probably had no idea which charity their money was even benefiting the whole world of Charity benefits Siobhan decided was shallow and obnoxious but perhaps that was too cynical Siobhan was just tired bone weary and suffering from a foul foul mood caused by visions of Carter at the roulette wheel she had just stepped out of the tent when the security guard a doughy guy from the UK rushed past her there were people Crashers Max West Fanatics trying to jump the fence for most of the evening there had been people lingering outside the tent getting fresh drinks sneaking a cigarette going to the bathroom but now everyone was packed inside listening to the speeches waiting for Max West to hit the stage the only people behind the tent were her bartender Hunter and at the bar Mr Ben Franklin who appeared to be talking to himself Siobhan felt a stab of empathy she had been talking to herself all night long and nothing she'd said had been very nice Siobhan looked to her right and saw Isabelle French pick up Claire's chandelier it was dangling from Isabelle's left hand Isabelle was saying something to Gavin that Siobhan couldn't hear Siobhan thought back to the night of the Suare an team and how awful Isabelle had been harassing CLA about taking a $25,000 table it had been no better than sorority hazing sioban did not like the sight of Isabelle holding clar's chandelier so carelessly Siobhan did not think before she spoke she barked at Isabelle in the meanest Shanty Irish voice she could muster put that down her voice was too loud and too sudden it was a gunshot in the dark it caused Ben Franklin to spill his drink all over the bar and Isabelle naturally skittish drunk holding carelessly onto the cord swung around and the chandelier swung with her Siobhan Cried Out Gavin cried out the chandelier narrowly missed hitting the edge of the table Isabel turned on Siobhan accusingly what put it down sioban said Gavin took the chandelier from Isabelle and set it safely back on the table Isabelle looked like she was about to burst into tears I'm going to the bathroom Gavin said I'll wait for you right here Siobhan glared at him thinking of his coming out to spy on her and Edward that night he was creepy he would not look at Siobhan now would not offer an apologetic word on behalf of his date in so many ways the two of them deserved each other Gavin lit up a cigarette flipped open his cell phone and disappeared into the Shadows Siobhan touched the chandelier gingerly it was as delicate as Spong sugar to think that Isabelle had nearly cracked it inside the tent the slideshow was playing Adams would be next with the thank yous and Claire would be last the big Siobhan knew she should not begrudge CLA her moment of recognition but begrudge it she did it wasn't fair that Claire got everything she was the artist she was the Gaya coair she was the nice to shon's naughty she had received the first child pearls from their father-in-law Malcolm every time Claire wore them like tonight it was a slap in the face to Siobhan Siobhan loved Claire better than any other woman in the world but along with that love Came resentment you want naughty Siobhan indulged in a mean little fantasy where she trashed the chandelier she had not dropped or spilled anything in more than 2 years since the full Sherry glasses went over in Martin scorsese's lap during the film festival Siobhan was due for an unfortunate accident Siobhan pictured herself the villainous in this story that shivered awful she was so absorbed in the thoughts of a horrible sinner that she did not notice Daffney Dixon coming out of the tent until Daphne was practically on top of her what she saw only registered in the corner of her eye as a flare a flame colored blur and that was what Siobhan meant by fast one minute Siobhan was standing alone by the chandelier contemplating the injustices of her life and the next minute there was Daphne drunk stumbling out of the tent headed for Siobhan she looked like she wanted to tell Siobhan something oh dear lord what was she going to say or maybe she just needed someone to hold her up Daphne was a lot bigger than Siobhan and she had a frightening amount of momentum she knocked into Siobhan Siobhan knocked into the table the table tilted the chandelier slid to the ground crash in the grass and then whipped by its own ch chain oh no broken so broken Siobhan untangled herself from Daphne Daphne got to her feet unsteadily she took her shoes off were her shoes the problem and staggered away Daphne Daphne come back here Daphne did not turn around though she stumbled again she was very drunk Siobhan's first thought was that she could not let Daphne get into a car Siobhan chased Daphne out to the parking lot she caught up to her and grabbed her arm you're not driving Siobhan said it was an accident Daphne said accident accident accident don't worry it wasn't your fault sioban tightened her grip on Daphne's arm and flagged the security guard who was threading his way through the parking lot should she tell him about the chandelier smashed to bits in the grass who had knocked it over don't worry it wasn't your fault damn right it wasn't but Siobhan had been standing in the wrong place she should have been in the airless catering tent doing dishes Siobhan had the sick feeling it was her fault Siobhan had knocked it over right she wasn't sure it had happened so fast accident accident accident yes it was an accident Clare and Siobhan should have absolutely insisted that Daphne get into a cab so many years ago Clare had always felt guilty about that but Siobhan hadn't though now Siobhan could see that Clare was right don't worry it wasn't your fault but it was their fault their inaction had been negligent criminal they had let Daphne drive home despite the fact that she was wearing the lampshade they might as well have handed her a loaded gun if they had only stopped Daphne everything now would be different or would it this woman needs a cab Siobhan said to the security guard she shouldn't be driving I'm fine Daphne spat please put her in a cab Siobhan said she's been drinking the security guard wheeled Daphne toward the exit we do ma'am where do you live Siobhan headed back to the tent gravel crunching under her kitchen clogs they were all of them Sinners when Siobhan returned the tent was rumbling with Applause she approached Hunter at the bar who was mopping up Ben Franklin's drink if anyone asks Siobhan said to Hunter tell them your back was turned Hunter nodded shoban entered the back of the tent as Claire Rose to accept her flowers Siobhan would tell her what had happened later privately after all the hours Clare had devoted to the chandelier it had taken only 10 seconds to destroy less 5 Seconds 3 seconds how would CLA forgive her she would sioban knew because she was CLA Siobhan thought of the blue velvet bag in the secret compartment of her jewelry box empty now she had sold the ring for $7,500 and donated it anonymously to nantucket's Children even though she very much needed the money Carter what was Carter doing right this second was he thinking of her sensing her angst and torment or was he stoned from throwing the dice she had to get him help but where from whom she would have to suck up the little pride she had left and asked lock Dixon he would have the answer forgiveness Siobhan closed her eyes and crossed herself in the name of the father and the Son and the Holy Spirit it was all she could think of to do it was 5 minutes to 10 and he was growing horse that really was the worst effect of drinking before a show he he didn't forget words or lose the melody but his voice deteriorated he still had two songs to sing he nuzzled the microphone this last song is for my friend Claire Danner the word friend was lame and insufficient but he couldn't very well tell a thousand of Claire's friends and peers that he had fallen back in love with her still he added when I wrote this song 20 years ago I wrote it for her he looked down into the audience Claire's eyes were glassy she blinked tears fell Matthew strummed the first chord and the band eased into stormy eyes he wanted her to come up on stage he wanted her to sing the last verse with him nobody realized this but Claire could sing High School chorus soprano section he tried to wave her up she shook her head she was dancing with underwhelming Jason dick wasn't around Matthew felt hopeful at the end of Stormy eyes the concert was officially over the Lights Went Out the crowd screamed they wanted more Matthew smiled at $1,000 a ticket he had expected a different crowd more gential more reserved but this group rivaled 60,000 New Yorkers at Shea Stadium in the noise Department all right Matthew said into the microphone he had an encore one final song and he had given it a lot of thought he had in fact arranged for this song even before he arrived on the island he had called each of the contract musicians himself one second tenor one baritone one bass and made sure they all knew Barber Shop nobody would understand but her and that was okay because she was the only one who mattered he waited until the crowd grew quiet absolutely silent and then he hit the first perfect note sweet Rosie O'Grady my dear little Rose it was how he'd gotten her before it was all he had left and yes she was smiling ear to ear and yes tears were streaming down her face and yes it was as though they were the only two people in the place Matthew Westfield and Claire Danner High School sweethearts from Wildwood Crest New Jersey but as the quartet closed in on the end of the song as there four voices blended with a beauty and a poignancy that Matthew himself could scarcely believe and Rosie ogrady loves me Claire looked him right in the eye and shook her head no she said I can't Matthew clipped the note the Lights Went Out the audience keened he was intensely jealous then as jealous as he'd ever been not of underwhelming Jason and not of dick but of having a life that you couldn't or didn't want to leave behind no he thought you shouldn't it was time for him to go Claire woke up to Jason kissing the back of her neck what time is it she said 6 too early she closed her eyes he let her sleep until 9: an unbelievable luxury when she came out into the kitchen the kids had all been fed and the breakfast dishes were washed pan was sitting on the sofa reading to Zach she was still spotted but she felt better Jason was standing at the counter making sandwiches Claire watched him in amazement he lined up the bread and slathered one with mayo odily one with mustard JD and one with mustard and butter Shay when he saw Claire he stopped what he was doing and poured her a cup of coffee CLA kissed him and said thank you for letting me sleep picnic for the beach today he said okay Claire said where's matthew he left he left his plane took off at 7 for Spain I drove him to the airport he told me his flight was at 10: Claire said he didn't even say goodbye Jason cleared his throat and started laying down slices of ham he told me to tell you he loves you but that he understands CLA nodded Jason closed the sent sandwiches then sliced them with the big knife you pulled off a great event despite everything you should be proud of yourself CLA Claire took her coffee out to the back deck stood at the railing and looked out over the golf course it was a glorious day her head should have hurt but it didn't her heart should have hurt but it didn't either the chandelier was broken on the way home from the Gayla Claire had asked Jason to stop by the grocery store Claire was about to toss the box into the dumpster but she found she couldn't part with it so unceremoniously the chandelier broken or whole represented a year of her life and weren't there things about the past year that had been valuable wasn't there anything she could Salvage she could she decided Salvage the chandelier she thought of Mr Fred bull rush in San Francisco for whom she had made the pulled Taffy candlesticks she would repair the chandelier and he would buy it if it was lopsided if it had hairline cracks if it had dings and scars if it contained a story of love and betrayal and ecstasy and regret so much the better it's like all of a sudden you don't care about your soul stand in line together at the post office you must pray for strength we need someone who can give it a dedicated effort there's been an accident oh my God I am heartily sorry for having offended you and I detest all my sins they don't know about the baby I've been watching for you for oh about 5 days live with me marry me when all this is over do I get you back he's a walker ladies and gentlemen Claire Danner [Music] crisen it would Mark her triumphant return