What Does It Mean To Be "Very Demure, Very Mindful?" |Image In the Workplace| Black Girl Vlog

Welcome so evidently the internet has discovered two new words to run into the ground and you know what I'm not even mad let's talk about it [Music] [Applause] [Music] hey y'all welcome back to ma the Maverick where we are very well-rounded very growthmed if you're new here welcome to my channel Glad You Came if you're not new here thank you for coming back it's been a while it's Labor Day so I said hey why not so a few weeks ago a content Very Demure, Very Mindful creator by the name of Jules LeBron went viral for this video on Tik Tok and basically in the video she's kind of describing how she presents herself for work and she uses the terms very demure and very mindful to describe such and for whatever reason that particular terminology has really caught on like hot cakes and admittedly I'm not over on the Tik Tok very often sometimes it's a little bit of a sensory overload for me but gradually as things do those phrases have made their way onto the old people platforms like Instagram and Facebook and yes I am old people now apparently no judgment um but anyway for all the trends that have come and gone this one has peaked my interest the most and for the most part I don't have a lot negative to say about it and that's refreshing I do have some qualms but there won't be many so let's just dive into to it so my first comment on this particular trend is that words mean things and a lot of times what happens when words enter our popular everyday language they just take on a life of their own and people just kind of start using them any kind of way like lately diabolical is everywhere and a lot of people want that to die but in that case it's more of a joke it's an OV exaggeration it's a figure of speech I'm not mad at that but we also have words like toxic which apply in some cases but we also see people using it to describe any and everybody that says or does something that they don't like or want to hear or how we've taken narcissism and labeled people with that when that's an actual like mental health diagnosis that actually means something and it means something serious so we got to be careful with how we use words and let them take a life of their own and in this case you got two words that can potentially have a positive meaning to them but it's the internet and stuff happens like for instance let's take the word demure if I go to the dictionary it's an adjective that means reserved modest and shy typically used of a woman not too bad not too bad at all if I look at the word mindful that's another adjective meaning conscious or aware of something and to be honest I'm not mad at that because I feel like the world could use a little more of both of those things there's a lot that I see on a daily basis that I'm like come on man um just people not really being aware or thinking about how they move through the world how it affects them how it affects the people around them um what will follow them forever there's even a rapper right now a relatively popular one that just dropped a line of lip glosses that are named after STI and bodily discharge yeah we can stand to have a little bit more demure and mindfulness based on that definition but on the flip side of that if I go to the Oxford dictionary and not Oxford Miriam Webster's Dictionary and look at the definition you've got reserved and modest is one and then number two affectedly modest reserved or serious and as a fun fact I'll share this with you did you know in the nearly seven centuries that demure has been in use its meaning has only shifted slightly while it began solely as a descriptive term for people of quiet modesty and sedate reserve the those who don't draw attention to themselves whether because of shy nature or determined self-control it be came to be applied also to those whose modesty and reservation is more affectation than sincere expression and basically when something is a has affectation or it's affected that means that it's basically insincere and I'm interested to watch how that Trend evolves but what I don't want to see is it become a facade that people take on the appearance or what they think the appearance of being demure and mindful and reserved and controlled having some sort of self-control the appearance of it without actually adopting the heart of it like I don't want to see people cosplaying carrying yourself well K's plan being aware K's plan actually having some pride and and some self-respect so to speak and not actually adopting the mindset of that case in point again she's kind of talking about how she shows up for work as a matter of fact let's just let's go to her video you see how I do my makeup for work very demure very mindful I don't come to work with a green cut crease I don't look like a clown when I go to work I don't do too much I'm very mindful while I'm at work see how I look very presentable the way I into the interview is the way I go to the job a lot so I get what Jules LeBron is probably trying to illustrate here there's a time and there's a place for everything it's like if you're working on something you need the right tool for the right job you don't use a hammer where a screwdriver is applicable you don't use tweezers where you need nail clippers so on and so forth and in this video she's kind of describing basically how she's attempting to tone down her makeup trying to tone down her hair not necessarily not be herself or Express her personality but do it in such a way that is appropriate for the environment that she is in let's listen some more a lot of you girls go to the interview looking like March Simpson and go to the job looking like Patty and Selma not deor I'm very modest I'm very mindful you see my shirt only a little Chi out not my Cho be mindful of why they hired you here's your reality check Diva what's the name you'd like me to make it out to basically everywhere you go people are watching you and how you present yourself is the first thing that people see when you walk in the door and if it's good that can open some doors for you if it's not so great it can actually close some doors for you there's another viral video that Dress Coded by Recruiter actually brought up this conversation recently so this particular video um the Creator tesia showed her outfit that she wore to an inperson job interview and she kind of ran into an uncomfortable situation so I just got dressed during an interview and then they decided to resettled interview with me for tomorrow but before they was like you like to come back I go change and then come back and I was like no these are Goods okay so basically this young lady wore a shirt and a cardigan and shorts to her job interview and she didn't really understand why what the issue was with that and I get it that workplace culture is really begun to evolve over the years it was evolving when I worked in a corporate office and then Co and hybrid work and things like that have really caused some Industries to relax their dress code a little bit um and I also want to acknowledge that there are some cultural layers at play in how we move through work spaces like the crown act we got a whole fight trying to get Legend legation on the table for us to be able to wear our natural hair because some people interpret that is inappropriate weird fun story for whatever reason I was growing my hair out transitioning from relax the natural and I don't know what possessed me to do this but I did my big job the day before my first interview for my first corporate job and to some people that would have seen radical because at the time natural hair was seen as more radical even than it is now and to be honest that's not saying much but in my office I worked in the health insurance industry and the executives and higher ups male and female they dressed every day and it was a lot of black a lot of blue a lot of Gray it was boring I'm just going to say it for me for me it was a little boring for my taste but that's what they did that was the corporate culture and what was expected of them certain people um in positions that were not in management or in departments that weren't as business facing um processing things doing paperwork a lot of them would show up in t-shirts and jeans that is not what the dress code said that they could wear but that is what they wore to work and at the time I was starting out temping actually as an administrative assistant and I noticed that a lot of the other admins they dressed down because their department head said that they could and because of the type of work it was but for me I knew that that was not where I wanted to stay not knocking um admin work at all I just knew that it was not for me and I kind of started advancing relatively quickly now that I think about it in retrospect but I firmly believe that in addition to doing really good work the way I presented myself cuz I dressed every day Monday through Thursday and pretty decent on Friday allowed the people who were in the position to advocate for me to be able to see me in the next space if that makes any sense I always have been a firm believer that you dress for the job you want not the one you have um and you do the very best you can now I was kind of known in the office as a fashion plate cuz yeah I might would wear my slacks and my shirt but I was going to have on a fire pair of shoes every time I came in the office and I liked color that I wasn't going to compromise on and I changed my hair all the time because that was my personality and I you're not going to take that from me but at the same time time I did it within the guidelines of the employee handbook and what the dress code said cuz everywhere I went I'm interfacing with people across all departments I'm all over the office I'm meeting people I'm meeting with people and I represent myself I represent my managers um in terms of being a liaison between me between them and other people people and yeah again it just I think that it let them know I can see you doing something else besides what you're doing now so I think that goes back to being mindful to being aware of your circumstances aware of where you want to go now in this young lady's case h okay first of all there are very few places that that it would make sense to interview with shorts on like for this just me being honest when I saw this video I thought for sure it was a zoom interview where you were going to be seen from the neck from the neck up and it wouldn't matter but no this was an inperson interview interview and the Jules LeBron video was saying you know you show up to the job like you show up to the interview you show up to the interview like you would show up to the job I wouldn't recommend dressing below the dress code standard of the job that you're getting now if you interviewing to be a zookeeper then I I guess you would show up in Zookeeper guard or like one step above zookeeper guard and then you can kind of relax when you got the job and when you're past the probate period but I wouldn't walk into the interview this is this company's first impression of me like that and thankfully I won't harp on her too hard because thankfully all the comments pretty much said the same thing and she was receptive to it but the other part of this is that the interviewer um the interviewer asked her if she wanted to go back and change her clothes and she said no now here's the thing if the interviewer is asking you if you want to change your clothes and come back it's a cue that means that this young lady is probably very qualified which is fantastic but it's like they're giving you an opportunity to remediate what's going on and you not taking it like she they're they're slick telling you hey we want to give you a chance but you got to come a little bit better most people they see you you walk in and your clothes are out of order or you disheveled whatever the case may be they gonna tell you thank you for your time goodbye and not call you again and again I want to reiterate I'm not saying dull yourself down I'm not saying um get rid of your personality and I'm not saying that all professional politics are okay but I am saying you got to be mindful and you got to be disciplined in navigating these spaces get to the next place but during this process the ball is in both of your court they want to attract you as an employee but this is also your potential employe year so I just I wanted to just share that example cuz I think it fits in perfectly with what she was saying about being demure and being Mindful and being appropriate for the next place right tool right job right time right place so overall in terms of this trend again I'm not really mad at it if it comes to counteract this culture of humiliation and degradation people not having any kind of awareness of how their behavior affects them other people around them um doing stuff that will live on the internet forever that eventually they not going to be happy about all of that stuff if if a little very demure and very mindful is what it takes to erase some of that I say let them cook so with that being said I really really want to hear what y'all have to say like for real for real inquiring minds want to know drop down in the comments and talk to me and if you're not already subscribed I'm inviting you to subscribe and click your notification Bell so that you can know the next time that I'm on because I want to see you and hear from you and like the video if you like the video so I can know that you like the video and do more of it so that being said y'all do what you love love what you do and be mindful while you do it and I will catch y'all on the next one bye bye y'all [Music] oh [Music]