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[Music] chapter 13 the sequel of my resolution for anything I know I may have had some wild idea of running all the way to DOA when I gave up the pursuit of the young man with a donkey cart and started for Greenwich my scattered senses were soon collected as to that point if I had for I came to stop in the Kent Road at a Terrace with a piece of water before it and a great foolish image in the middle blowing a dry shell here I sat down on a doorstep quite spent and exhausted with the efforts I had already made and with hardly breath enough to cry for the loss of my box and half guinea it was by this time dark I heard the clock Strike 10 as I sat resting but it was a summer night fortunately and fine weather when I had recovered my breath and had got rid of a stifling sensation in my throat I rose up and went on in the midst of my distress I had no notion of going back I doubt if I should have had any though there had been a swift snowdrift in the Kent Road but my standing possessed of only three half pence in the world and I'm sure I wonder how they came to be left in my pocket on a Saturday night troubled me nonetheless because I went on I began to picture to myself as a scrap of newspaper intelligence my being found dead in a day or two under some hedge and I trudged on miserably though as fast as I could until I happened to pass a little shop where it was written up that ladies and gentlemen's wardrobes were bought and that the best price was given for Rags bones and kitchen stuff the master of this shop was sitting at the door in his shirt sleeves smoking and as there were a great many coats and pairs of trousers dangling from the low ceiling and only two feeble candles burning inside to show what they were I fancied that he looked like a man of a revengeful disposition who had hung all his enemies and was enjoying himself my late experiences with Mr and Mrs mcba suggested to me that here might be a means of keeping off the wolf for a little while I went up the next by Street took off my waist coat rolled it neatly under my arm and came back to the shop door if you please sir I said I am to sell this for a fair price Mr dollby dollby was the name over the shop door at least took the waste coat stood his pipe on its head against the doorpost went into the shop followed by me snuffed the two candles with his fingers spread the waist coat on the counter and looked at it there held it up against the light and looked at it there and ultimately said what you call a price now for this ear little weskit oh you know best sir I returned modestly I can't be a buyer and seller too said Mr dollby put a price on this ear little West kit would 18 P be I hinted after some hesitation Mr dollby rolled it up again and gave it back I should Rob my family he said if I was to offer N9 P for it this was a disagreeable way of putting the business because it imposed upon me a perfect stranger the unpleasantness of asking Mr dollby to Rob his family on my account my circumstances being so very pressing however I said I would take 9 P for it if you pleased Mr dollby not without some grumbling gave 9 P I wished him good night and walked out of the shop the Richer by that sum and the poorer by a waste coat but when I buttoned my jacket that was not much indeed I foresaw pretty clearly that my jacket would go next and that I should have to make the best my way over in a shirt and a pair of trousers and might deem myself lucky if I got there even in that trim but my mind did not run so much on this as might be supposed Beyond a general impression of the distance before me and of the young man with the donkey cart having used me cruy I think I had no very urgent sense of my difficulties when I once again set off with my 9 pence in my pocket a plan had occurred to me for passing the night which I was going to carry into execution the this was to lie behind the wall at the back of my old school in a corner where there used to be a hay stack I imagined it would be a kind of company to have the boys and the bedroom where I used to tell the stories so near me although the boys would know nothing of my being there and the bedroom would yield me no shelter I had had a hard day's work and was pretty well jaded when I came climbing out at last upon the level of black Heath it cost me some trouble to find out Salem house but I found it and I found a hay stack in the corner and I lay down by it having first walked around the wall and looked up at the windows and seeing that all was dark and Silent within never shall I forget the lonely sensation of first lying down without a roof above my head sleep Came Upon me as it came on many other outcasts against whom house doors were locked and house dogs barked that night and I dreamed of lying on my old school bed talking to the Boys in my room and found myself sitting upright with steer Force name upon my lips looking wildly at the stars that were glistening and glimmering above me when I remembered where I was at that untimely hour a feeling stole upon me that made me get up afraid of I don't know what and walk about but the fainter glimmering of the stars and the pale light in the sky where the day was coming reassured me and my eyes being very heavy I lay down again and slept though with a knowledge of my sleep that it was cold until the warm beams of the sun and the ringing of the getting up Bell at Salem House awoke me if I could have hoped that steer force was there I would have lurked about until he came out alone but I knew he must have left long since tradle still remain perhaps but it was very doubtful and I had not sufficient confidence in his discretion or good luck however strong my Reliance was on his good nature to wish to trust him with my situation so I crept away from the wall as Mr creel's boys were getting up and struck into the long Dusty track which I had first known to be the DOA Road when I was one of them and when I little expected that any eyes would ever see me the wayf farer I was now upon it what a different Sunday morning from the old Sunday morning at Yarmouth in due time I heard the church bells ringing as I plotted on and I met people who were going to church and I passed a church or two where the congregation were inside and the sound of singing came out into the sunshine while the beetle sat and called himself in the shade of the porch or stood beneath the u tree with his hand to his forehead glowering at me going by but the peace and the rest of the old Sunday morning were on everything except me that was the difference I felt quite Wicked in my dirt and dust with my tangled hair but for the quiet picture IID CED up of my mother in her Youth and beauty weeping by the fire and my aunt relenting to her I hardly think I should have had courage to go on until next day but it always went before me and I followed I got that Sunday through three and 20 miles on the straight road though not very easily for I was new to that kind of toil I see myself as evening closes in coming over the bridge at Rochester foot sore and tired and eating bread that I had bought for supper one or two little houses with the notice lodgings for travelers hanging out had tempted me but I was afraid of spending the few Pence I had and was even more afraid of the vicious looks of the trampers I had met or overtaken I sought no shelter therefore but the sky and toiling into chattam which in that night's aspect is a mere dream of chalk and drawbridges and massless ships in a muddy river roofed like Noah's Arc crept at last upon a sort of grass-grown battery overhanging a lane where a Sentry was walking to and fro here I lay down near a cannon and happy in the Society of the Century's footsteps though he knew no more of my being above him than the boys at Salem House had known of My Lying by the wall slept soundly until morning very stiff and sore of foot I was in the morning and quite dazed by the beating of drums and marching of troops which seemed to hem me in on every side when when I went down towards the long narrow streets feeling that I could go but a very little way that day if I were to reserve any strength for getting my Journey's End I resolved to make the sale of my jacket its principal business accordingly I took the jacket off that I might learn to do without it and carrying it under my arm began a tour of inspection of the various slop shops it was a likely place to sell a jacket in for the dealers in secondhand clothes were numerous and were generally speaking on the look out for customers at their shop doors but as most of them had hanging up among their stock an officer's coat or two epolets and all I was rendered timid by the costly nature of their dealings and walked about for a long time without offering my merchandise to anyone this modesty of mine directed my attention to the maritime store shops and such shops as Mr dolles in preference to the regular dealers at last I found one that I thought looked promising at the corner of a dirty Lane ending in an enclosure full of stinging nettles against the palings of which some secondhand sailor's clothes that seemed to have overflowed the shop were fluttering among some cots and rusty guns and oil skin hats and certain trays full of so many old rusty keys of so many sizes that they seemed various enough to open all the doors in the world into this shop which was low and small and which was darkened rather than lighted by a little window overhung with clothes and was descended into by some steps I went with a palpitating heart which was not relieved when an ugly old man with the lower part of his face all covered with a stubby Gray beard rushed out of a dirty Den behind it and seized me by the hair of my head he was a dreadful old man to look at in a filthy flannel waste coat and smelling terribly of rum his bedstead covered with a tumbled and ragged piece of Patchwork was in the den he had come from where another little window showed a prospect of more stinging nettles and a lame donkey oh what do you want grinned this old man in a fierce monotonous whine oh my eyes and limbs what do you want Oh My lungs and liver what do you want Oh garu garu I was so much dismayed by these words and particularly by the repetition of the last unknown one which was a kind of rattle in his throat that I could make no answer hereupon the old man still holding me by the hair repeated oh what do you want Oh my eyes and limbs what do you want Oh My lungs and liver what do you want Oh gr which he screwed out of himself with an energy that made his eyes start in his head I wanted to know I said trembling if you would buy a jacket oh let's see the jacket cried the old man oh my heart on fire show the jacket to us oh my eyes and limbs bring this jacket out with that he took his Trembling Hands which were like the claws of a great bird out of my hair and put on a pair of spectacles not at all ornamental to his inflamed eyes oh how much for the jacket cried the old man after examining it oh G how much for the jacket half a crown I answered recovering myself oh my lungs and liver cried the old man no oh my eyes no oh my limbs no 18 P Guru every time he uttered this ejaculation his eyes seemed to be in danger of starting out and every sentence he spoke he delivered in a sort of tune always exactly the same and more like a gust of wind which begins mounts up high and falls again than any other comparison I can find for it well said I glad to have closed the bargain I'll take 18 P oh my liver cried the old man throwing the jacket on a shelf get out of the shop oh my lungs get out of the shop oh my eyes and limbs G don't ask for money make it an exchange I never was so frightened in my life before or since but I told him humbly that I wanted money and that nothing else was of any use to me but that I would wait for it as he desired outside and had no wish to hurry him so I went outside and sat down in the shade in a corner and I sat there so many hours that the shade became sunlight and the sunlight became shade again and still I sat there waiting for the money there never was such another drunken madman in that line of business I hope that he was well known in the neighborhood and enjoyed the reputation of having sold himself to the devil I soon understood from the visits he received from the boys who continually came skirmishing about the shop shouting that Legend and calling to him to bring out his gold you ain't poor you know Charlie as you pretend bring out your gold bring out some of the gold you sold yourself to the devil for come it's in the lining of the mattress Charlie rip it open and let's have some this and many offers to lend him a knife for the purpose exasperated him to such a degree that the whole day was a succession of rushes on his part and flights on the part of the boys sometimes in his rage he would take me for one of them and come at me mouthing as if he were going to tear me in pieces then remembering me just in time would dive into the shop and lie upon his bed as I thought from the sound of his voice yelling in a frantic way to his own windy tune the death of Nelson with an O before every line and innumerable gurus interspersed as if this were not bad enough for me the boys connecting me with the establishment on account of the patience and perseverance with which I sat outside half dressed pelted me and used me very ill all day he made many attempts to induce me to consent to an exchange at one time coming out with a fishing rod at another with a fiddle at another with a cocked hat at another with a flute but I resisted all these overtures and sat there in desperation each time asking him with tears in my eyes for my money or my jacket at last he began to pay me in haen at a time and was full two hours getting by easy stages to a shilling oh my eyes and limbs he then cried peeping hideously out of the shop after a long pause will you go for t more I can't I said I shall be starved oh my lungs and liver will you go for thre I would go for nothing if I could I said but I want the money badly oh it is really impossible to express how he twisted this ejaculation out of himself as he peeped around the doorpost at me showing nothing but his crafty old head will you go for four Pence I was was so faint and weary that I closed with this offer and taking the money out of his claw not without trembling went away more hungry and thirsty than I had ever been a little before Sunset but at an expense of threepence I soon refreshed myself completely and being in better spirits then limped seven miles upon my road my bed at night was under another hay stack where I rested comfortably after having washed my blistered feet feet in a stream and dressed them as well as I was able with some cool leaves when I took the road again next morning I found that it lay through a succession of hop grounds and Orchards it was sufficiently late in the year for the Orchards to be Ruddy with ripe apples and in a few places the hot Pickers were already at work I thought it all extremely beautiful I made my mind to sleep among the Hops that night imagining some cheerful companionship in the long perspectives of poles with the graceful lead Twining around them the trampers were worse than ever that day and inspired me with a dread that is yet quite fresh in my mind some of them were most ferocious looking Ruffians who stared at me as I went by and stopped perhaps and called after me to come back and speak to them and when I took to my heels stoned me I recollect one young fellow a tinker I suppose from his wallet and brazer who had a woman with him and who faced about and stared at me thus and then roared to me in such a tremendous voice to come back that I halted and looked around come here when you're called said the Tinker or rip your young body open I thought it best to go back as I drew nearer to them trying to propitiate the Tinker by my looks I observed that the woman had a black eye where are you going said the Tinker gripping the bosom of my shirt with his blackened hand I am going to do I said where' you come from asked the Tinker giving his hand another turn in my shirt to hold me more securely I come from London I said what lay are you upon asked the Tinker are you prig no I said ain't you Byer if you make a brag of your honesty to me said the Tinker I'll knock your brains out with his disengaged hand he made a menace of striking me and then looked at me from head to foot have you got the price of a pint of beer about you said the Tinker if you have out with it a I take it away I should certainly have produced it but that I met the woman's look and saw her very slightly shake her head and form no with her lips I am very poor I said attempting to smile and have got no money why what do you mean said the Tinker looking so sternly at me that I almost feared he saw the money in my pocket sir I stammered what you what do you mean said the Tinker but wear in my brother's silk handkerchief give it over here and he had mine off my neck in a moment and tossed it to the woman the woman burst into a fit of laughter as if she thought this a joke and tossed it back to me nodded once as slightly as before and made the word go with her lips before I could obey however the Tinker seized the handkerchief out of my hand with a roughness that threw me away like a feather and putting Loosely around his own neck turned upon the woman with an oath and knocked her down I never shall forget seeing her fall backward on the Hard Road and lie there with her Bonnet tumbled off and her hair all whitened in the dust nor when I looked back from a distance seeing her sitting on the pathway which was a bank by the roadside wiping the blood from her face with the corner of her Shaw while he went on ahead this adventure frightened me so that afterwards when I saw any of these people coming I turned back until I could find a hiding place where I remained until they had gone out of sight which happened so often that I was very seriously delayed but under this difficulty as under all the other difficulties of my journey I seemed to be sustained and led on by my fanciful picture of my mother in her youth before I came into the world it always kept me company it was there among the Hops when I lay down to sleep it was with me on my waking in the morning it went before me all day I have Associated it ever since with the sunny Street of Canterbury dozing as it were in the hot light and with the sight of its old houses and gateways and the stately great Cathedral with the Rooks sailing around the towers when I came at last upon the bare wide Downs near DOA it relieved the solitary aspect of the scene with hope and not until I reached that first great aim of my journey and actually set foot in the town itself on the sixth day of my flight did it desert me but then strange to say when I stood with my ragged shoes and my Dusty sunburnt half clothed figure in the place so long desired it seemed to vanish like a dream and to leave me helpless and dispirited I inquired about my aunt among the boatmen first and received various answers one said she lived in the South falland light and had since her whiskers by doing so another that she was made fast to the great boy outside the harbor and could only be visited at half tied a third that she was locked up in the maidon jail for child stealing a fourth that she was seen to mount a broom in the last high wind and make direct for Cal the fly drivers among whom I inquired next were equally joose and equally disrespectful and the shopkeepers not liking my appearance generally replied without hearing what I had to say that they had got nothing for me I felt more miserable and destitute than I had done at any period of my running away my money was all gone I had nothing left to dispose of I was hungry thirsty and worn out and seemed as distant from my end as if I had remained in London the morning had worn away in these inquiries and I was sitting on the step of an empty shop at a street corner near the marketplace deliberating Wai in upon wandering towards those other places which had been mentioned when a fly driver coming by with his Carriage dropped a horse cloth something good-natured in the man's face as I handed it up encouraged me to ask him if he could tell me where Miss Trotwood lived though I had asked the question so often that it almost died upon my lips Trotwood said he let me see I know the name too old lady yes I said rather pretty stiff in the back said he making himself upright yes I said I should think it very likely carries a bag he said bag with a good deal of room in it is gruffy and comes down upon you sharp my heart sank within me as I acknowledged the undoubted accuracy of this description why then I tell you what said he if you go up there pointing with his whip towards the Heights and keep right on till you come to some houses facing the sea I think you'll hear of her my opinion is she won't stand anything so here's a penny for you I accepted the gift thankfully and bought a loaf with it dispatching this refreshment by the way I went in the direction my friend had indicated and walked on a good distance without coming to the houses he had mentioned at length I saw some before me and approaching them went into a little shop it was what we used to call a general shop at home and inquired if they could have the goodness to tell me where Miss Trotwood lived I addressed myself to a man behind the counter who was weighing some rice for a young woman but the latter taking the inquiry to herself turned around quickly my mistress she said what do you want with her boy I want I replied to speak to her if you please to beg of her you mean retorted the damsel no I said indeed but suddenly remembering that in truth I came for no other purpose I held my peace in confusion and felt my face burn my aunt's handmaid as I supposed she was from what she had said put her rice in a little basket and walked out of the shop telling me that I could follow her if I wanted to know where Miss Trotwood lived I needed no second permission though I was by this time in such a state of conation and agitation that my legs shook under me I followed the young woman and we soon came to a very neat little cottage with cheerful bow windows in front of it a small square graveled court or garden full of flowers carefully tended and smelling deliciously this is Miss Trot Woods said the young woman now you know and that's all I have to say with which words she hurried into the house as if to shake off the responsibility of my appearance and left me standing at the Garden Gate looking disconsolately over the top of it towards the Parlor window where a muslin curtain partly undrawn in the middle a large round green screen or fan fastened onto the window sill a small table and the great chair suggested to me that my aunt might be at that moment seated in awful State my shoes were by this time in a woeful condition the soles had shed themselves bit by bit and the upper Leathers had broken and burst until the very shape and form of shoes had departed from them my hat which had served me for a night cap too was so crushed and bent that no old battered handleless saucepan on a Dun kill need have been ashamed to V with it my shirt and trousers stained with heat Dew grass and the kentish soil on which I had slept and torn besides might have frightened the birds from my aunt's Garden as I stood at the gate my hair had known no comb or brush since I left London my face neck and hands from unaccustomed exposure to the air and Sun were burnt to a berry Brown from head to foot I was powdered almost as white with chalk and dust as if I had come out of a lime Kil in this plight and with a strong consciousness of it I waited to introduce myself to and make my first impression on my formidable Aunt The Unbroken Stillness of the Parlor window leading me to infer after a while that she was not there I lifted up my eyes to the window above it where I saw a flid pleasant looking gentleman with a gray beard who shut up one eye in a grotesque manner nodded his head at me several times shook it at me as often laughed and went away I had been discomposed enough before but I was so much the more discomposed by this unexpected behavior that I was on the point of slinking off to think how I'd best proceed when there came out of the house a lady with a handkerchief tied over her cap and a pair of gardening gloves on her hands wearing a gardening pocket like a tolman's apron and carrying a great knife I knew her immediately to be Miss Betsy for she came stalking out of the house exactly as my poor mother had so often described her stalking up our garden at blunderstone Rookery go away said Miss Betsy shaking ah head and making a distant chop in the air with her knife go along no boys here I watched her with my heart at my lips as she marched to a corner of her garden and stooped to dig up some little root there then without a scrap of Courage but with a great deal of desperation I went softly in and Stood Beside her touching her with my finger if you please Mom I began she started and looked up if you please Aunt a exclaimed Miss Betsy in a tone of Amazement I have never never heard approached if you please Aunt I am your nephew oh lord said my aunt and sat flat down in the Garden Path I Am David Copperfield of blunderstone in suffk where you came on the night when I was born and saw my dear Mama I've been very unhappy since she died I've been slighted and taught nothing and thrown upon myself and put to work not fit for me it made me run away to you I was wrong at first setting out and have walked all the way and have never slept in a bed since I began the journey here my self-support gave way all at once and with a movement of my hands intended to show her my ragged State and call it to witness that I had suffered something I broke into a passion of crying which I suppose had been pent up within me all the week my aunt with every sort of expression but Wonder discharged from her countenance sat on the gravel staring at me until I began began to cry when she got up in a great hurry colled me and took me into the Parlor her first proceeding there was to unlock a tall press bring out several bottles and pour some of the contents of each into my mouth I think they must have been taken out at random for I'm sure I tasted Ana seed water anvy sauce and salad dressing when she had administered these restoratives I was still quite hysterical and unable to control my sobs she put me on the sofa with a shawl under my head and the handkerchief from her own head under my feet lest I should suly the cover and then sitting herself down Behind the Green fan or screen I've already mentioned so that I could not see her face ejaculated at intervals Mercy on us letting those exclamations off like minute guns after a time she rang the bell Janet said my aunt when her servant came in go upstairs give my compliments to Mr dick and say I wish to speak to him Janet looked a little surprised to see me lying stiffly on the sofa I was afraid to move lest it should be displeasing to my aunt but went on her errand my aunt with her hands behind her walked up and down the room until the gentleman who had squinted at me from the upper window came in laughing Mr dick said my aunt don't be a fool because nobody can be more discreet than you can when you choose we all know that that so don't be a fool whatever you are the gentleman was serious immediately and looked at me I thought as if he would intreat me to say nothing about the window Mr dick said my aunt you have heard me mention David Copperfield now don't pretend not to have a memory because you and I know better David Copperfield said Mr Dick who did not appear to me to remember much about it David Copperfield oh yes to be sure David certainly well said my aunt this is his boy his son he would be as like his father as it's possible to be if he was not so like his mother too his son said Mr Dick David's son indeed yes pursued my aunt and he has done a pretty piece of business he has run away oh his sister Betsy Trotwood never would have run away my aunt shook her head firmly confident in the character and behavior of The Girl Who Never Was Born oh you think she wouldn't have run away said Mr Dick bless and save the man exclaimed my aunt sharply how he talks don't know she wouldn't she would have lived with her godmother and we should have been devoted to one another where in the name of Wonder would his sister Betsy Trotwood have run from or to Nowhere said Mr dick well then returned my aunt softened by by the reply how can you pretend to be woolgathering dick when you're as sharp as a surgeon's Lancet now here you see young David Copperfield and the question I put to you is what shall I do with him what shall you do with him said Mr Dick feebly scratching his head oh do with him yes said my aunt with a grave look and her forefinger held up come I want some very Sound Advice oh if I was you said Mr Dick considering and looking vacantly at me I should the contemplation of me seemed to inspire him with a sudden idea and he added briskly I should wash him Janet said my aunt turning around with a quiet triumph which I did not then understand Mr Dick sets us all right heat the bath although I was deeply interested in this dialogue I could not help observing my aunt Mr Dick and Janet while it was in progress and completing a survey I had already been engaged in making of the room my aunt was a tall hard-featured lady but by no means ill-looking there was an inflexibility in her face in her voice in her gate and carriage amply sufficient to account for the effect she had made Upon A Gentle creature like my mother but her features were rather handsome than otherwise though unbending and aere I particularly noticed that she had a very quick bright eye her hair which was gray was arranged in two plain divisions under what I believe would be called a mob cap I mean a cap much more common than now with side pieces fastening under the chin her dress was of a lavender color and perfectly neat but scantily made as if she desired to be as little encumbered as possible I remember that I thought it in form more like a riding habit with a Superfluous skirt cut off than anything else she wore at her side A Gentleman's gold watch if I might judge from its size and make with an appropriate chain and seals she had some linen at her throat not unlike a shirt collar and things at her wrists little like shirt wristbands Mr dick as I've already said was gray-headed and flid I should have said all about him in saying so had not his head been curiously bowed not by age it reminded me of one of Mr boy heads after a beating and his gray eyes prominent and large with a strange kind of watery brightness in them that made them in combination with his vacant manner his submission to my aunt and his childish Delight when she praised him suspect him of being a little mad though if he were mad how he came to be there puzzled me extremely he was dressed like any other ordinary gentleman in a loose gray morning coat and waste coat and white trousers and had his watch in his fob and his money in his pocket which he rattled as if he were proud of it Janet was a pretty blooming girl of about 19 or 20 and a perfect picture of neatness though I made no further observation of her at the moment I may mention here what I did not discover until afterwards namely that she was one of a series of protes whom my aunt had taken into her service expressly to educate in a announcement of mankind and who had generally completed their abjuration by marrying the baker the room was as neat as Janet or my aunt as I laid down my pen a moment since to think of it the air from the sea came blowing in again mixed with the perfume of the flowers and I saw the old-fashioned ferniture brightly rubbed and Polished my aunt's inviable chair and table by the round green fan in the bow window the drugget covered carpet the cat the kettle holder the two canaries the old China the punch bowl full of dried rose leaves the tall press guarding all sorts of bottles and pots and wonderfully out of keeping with the rest my Dusty self upon the sofa taking note of everything Janet had gone away to get the bath ready when my aunt to my great alarm became in one moment rigid with indignation and had hardly voiced to cry out Janet donkeys upon which Janet came running up the stairs as if the house were in flames darted out on a little piece of green in front and warned off two saddle donkeys lady ridden that had presumed to set hoof upon it while my aunt rushing out of the house seized the Bridle of a third animal Laden with a bestriding child turned him led him forth from those sacred precincts and boxed the ears of The Unlucky urchin in attendance who had dared to profane that Hallowed Ground to this hour I don't know whether my aunt had any lawful right of way over that patch of green but she had settled it in her own mind that she had and it was all the same to her the one great outrage of her life demanding to be constantly Avenged was the passage of a donkey over that Immaculate spot in whatever occupation she was engaged however interesting to her the conversation in which she was taking part a donkey turned the current of her ideas in a moment and she was upon him straight jugs of water and watering pots were kept in secret places ready to be discharged on the offending boys sticks were laid in Ambush behind the door sallyes were made at all hours and incessant War prevailed perhaps this was an agreeable excitement to the donkey boys or perhaps the more sagacious of the donkeys understanding how the case stood delighted with constitutional obstinacy in coming that way I only know that there were three alarms before the bath was ready and that on the occasion of the last and most desperate of all I saw my aunt engage single-handed with a Sandy headed lad of 15 and bump his Sandy head against her own gate before he seemed to comprehend what was the matter these interruptions were the more ridiculous to me because she was giving me broth out of a tablespoon at the time having firmly persuaded herself that I was actually starving and must receive nourishment at first in very small quantities and while my mouth was yet open to receive the spoon she would put it back into the Basin cry Janet donkeys and go out to the assault the bath was a great comfort for I began to be sensible of acute pains in my limbs from lying out in the fields and was now so tired and low that I could hardly keep myself awake for 5 minutes together when I had bathed they I mean my aunt and Janet enrobed me in a shirt and a pair of trousers belonging to Mr Dick and tied me up in two of three great Shaws what sort of bundle I looked like I don't know but I felt a very hot one feeling also very faint and drowsy I soon lay down on the sofa again and fell asleep it might have been a dream originating in the fancy which had occupied my mind so long but I awoke with the impression that my aunt had come and bent over me and had put my hair away from my face and and laid my head more comfortably and had then stood looking at me the words pretty fellow or poor fellow seemed to be in my ears too but certainly there was nothing else when I awoke to lead me to believe that they had been uttered by my aunt who sat in the bow window gazing at the sea from behind the green fan which was mounted on a kind of swivel and turned anyway we dined soon after I woke off a roast foul and a pudding I sitting at table not unlike a trust bird myself and moving my arms with considerable difficulty but as my aunt had SED me up I made no complaint of being inconvenienced all this time I was deeply anxious to know what she was going to do with me but she took her dinner in profound silence except when she occasionally fixed her eyes on me sitting opposite and said mercy upon us which did not by any means relieve my anxiety the cloth being drawn and some cherry put upon the table of which I had a glass my aunt sent up for Mr dick again who joined us and looked as wise as he could when she requested him to attend to my story which she elicited from me gradually by a course of questions during my recital she kept her eyes on Mr Dick who I thought would have gone to sleep but for that and who whensoever he lapsed into a smile was checked by a frown from my aunt whatever position possessed that poor unfortunate baby that she must go and be married again said my aunt when I had finished I can't conceive perhaps she fell in love with her second husband Mr Dick suggested fell in love repeated my aunt what do you mean what business had she to do it perhaps Mr Dick simpered after thinking a little she did it for pleasure pleasure indeed replied my aunt a mighty pleasure for the poor baby to fix her simple faith upon any dog of a fellow certain to Ill use her in some way or other what did she propose to herself I should like to know she had had one husband she had seen David Copperfield out of the world who was always running after wax dolls from his cradle she had got a baby oh there were a pair of babies when she gave birth to this child sitting there that Friday night and what more did she want Mr Dick secretly shook his head at me as if he thought there was no getting over this she couldn't even have a baby like anybody else said my aunt where was this child's sister Betsy Trotwood not forthcoming don't tell me Mr Dick seemed quite frightened that little man of a doctor with his head on one side said my aunt jelip or whatever his name was what was he about all he could do was to say to me like a robin red breast as he is it's a boy a boy yeah the imbecility of the whole set of them the heartiness of the ejaculation startled Mr Dick exceedingly and me too if I'm to tell the truth and then as if this was not enough and she had not stood sufficiently in the light of this child's sister Betsy Trotwood said my aunt she marries a second time goes and marries a murderer or a man with a name like it and stands in this child's light and the natural consequence is as anybody but a baby might have foreseen that he prows and wonders he's as like Cain before he was grown up as he can be Mr Dick looked hard at me as if to identify me in this character and then there's that woman with the Pagan name said my aunt that peggoty she goes and gets married next because she has not seen enough of the evil attending such things she goes and gets married next as the child relates I only hope said my aunt shaking her head that her husband is one of those poker husbands who abound in the newspapers and will beat her well with one I could not bear to hear my old nurse so decried and made the subject of such a wish I told my aunt that indeed she was mistaken that peggoty was the best the truest the most faithful most devoted and most self-denying friend and servant in the world who had ever loved me dearly who had ever loved my mother dearly who had held my mother's dying head upon her arm on Whose face my mother had imprinted her last grateful kiss and my remembrance of them both choking me I broke down as I was trying to say that her home was my home and that all she had was mine and that I would have gone to her for shelter but for her humble station which made me fear that I might bring some trouble on her I broke down I say as I was trying to say so and laid my face in my hands upon the table well well said my aunt the child is right to stand by those who stood by him Janet donkeys I thoroughly believe that but for those unfortunate donkeys we should have come to a good understanding for my aunt had laid her hand on my shoulder and the impulse was upon me thus emboldened to embrace her and beseech her protection but the interruption and the disorder she was thrown into by the struggle outside put an end to all softer ideas for the present and kept my aunt indignantly declaiming to Mr Dick about his determination to appeal for redress to the laws of her country and to bring actions for trespass against the whole Donkey proprietorship of DOA until tea time after tea we sat at the window on the lookout as I imagined from my aunt's sharp expression of face for more Invaders until dusk when Janet set candles and a back gam board on the table and pulled down the blinds now Mr dick said my aunt with her grave look and her forefinger up as before I am going to ask you another question look at this child David's son said Mr dick with an attentive puzzled face exactly so returned my aunt what would you do with him now do with David's son said Mr Dick I replied my aunt with David's son son oh said Mr dick yes do with I should put him to bed Janet cried my aunt with the same complacent Triumph that I had remarked before Mr Dick sets us all right if the bed is ready we'll take him up to it Janet reporting it to be quite ready I was taken up to it kindly but in some sort like a prisoner my aunt going in front and Janet bringing up the the only circumstance which gave me any New Hope was my aunt stopping on the stairs to inquire about a smell of fire that was prevalent there and Janet's replying that she had been making Tinder down in the kitchen of my old shirt but there were no other clothes in my room than the old heap of things I wore and when I was left there with a little taper which my aunt forewarned me would burn exactly 5 minutes I heard them lock my door on the outside turning these things over in my mind I deemed it possible that my aunt who could know nothing of me might suspect I had habit of running away and took precautions on that account to have me in safekeeping the room was a pleasant one at the top of the house overlooking the sea on which the moon was shining brilliantly after I had said my prayers and the candle had burnt out I remember how I still sat looking at The Moonlight on the water as if I could hope to read my fortune in it as in a bright book or to see my mother with her child coming from Heaven along that shining path to look upon me as she had looked when IA saw her sweet face I remember how the solemn feeling with which at length I turned my eyes away yielded to the sensation of gratitude and rest which the sight of the white curtain bed and how much more the lying softly down upon it nestling in the snow white sheets inspired I remember how I thought of all the solitary places under the night sky where I had slept and how I prayed that I never might be houseless anymore and never might forget the houseless I remember how I seemed to float then down The Melancholy Glory of that track upon the sea away into the world of Dreams chapter 14 my aunt makes up her mind about me on going down in the morning I found my aunt musing so profoundly Over The Breakfast Table with her elbow on the tray that the contents of the N had overflowed the teapot and were laying the whole tablecloth under water when my entrance put her meditations to flight I felt sure that I had been the subject of her Reflections and was more than ever anxious to know her intentions towards me yet I dared not express my anxiety lest it should give her offense my eyes however not being so much under control as my tongue were attracted towards my aunt very often during breakfast I never could look at her for a few moments together but I found her looking at me in an odd thoughtful manner as if I were an immense way off instead of being on the other side of the small round table when she had finished her breakfast my aunt very deliberately leaned back in her chair knitted her brows folded her arms and contemplated me at her Leisure with such a fixedness of attention that I was quite overpowered by embarrassment not having as yet finished my own breakfast I attempted to hide my Confusion by proceeding with it but my knife tumbled over my Fork my Fork tripped up my knife I chipped bits of bacon a surprising height into the air instead of cutting them for my own eating and choked myself with my tea which persisted in going the wrong way instead of the right one until I gave in alt together and sat blushing under my aunt's close scrutiny hello said my aunt after a long time I looked up and met her sharp bright glance respectfully I have written to him said my aunt to to your father-in-law said my aunt I have sent him a letter that I'll trouble him to attend to or he and I will fall out I can tell him does he know where I am Aunt I inquired alarmed I have told him said my aunt with a nod shall I be given up to him I faltered I don't know said my aunt we shall see oh I can't think what I shall do I exclaimed if I have to go back to Mr mdstone I don't know anything about it said my aunt shaking her head I can't say I am sure we shall see my spirit sank under these words and I became very downcast and heavy of heart my aunt without appearing to take much heed of me put on a coarse apron with a bib which she took out of the press washed up the teacups with her own hands and when everything was washed and set in the tray again and the cloth folded and put on the top of the hole rang for Janet to remove it she next swept up the crumbs with a little broom putting on a pair of gloves first until there did not appear to be one microscopic Speck left on the carpet next dusted and arranged the room which was dusted and arranged to a hair's breadth already when all these tasks were performed to her satisfaction she took off the gloves and apron folded them up put them in the particular corner of the press from which they had been taken brought out her work box to her own table in the open window and sat down with the green fan between her and the light to work I wish you'd go upstairs said my aunt as she threaded her needle and give my compliments to Mr Dick and I'll be glad to know how he gets on with his memorial I rose with all alacrity to acquit myself of this Commission I suppose said my aunt eyeing me as narrowly as she had eyed her needle in threading it you think Mr Dick a short name eh I thought it was rather a short name yesterday I confessed you are not to suppose that he hasn't got a longer name if he choose to use it said my aunt with a loftier air babbly Mr Richard babbly that's the gentleman's true name I was going to suggest with a modest sense of my youth and the familiarity I had been already guilty of that I had better give him the full benefit of that name when my aunt went on to say but don't you call him by it whatever you do I can't bear his name that's a peculiarity of his though I don't know that it's much of a peculiarity either for he has been illus used Enough by some that bear it to have a mortal antipathy for it Heaven Knows Mr dick is his name here and everywhere else else now if he ever went anywhere else which he don't so take care child you don't call him anything but Mr Dick I promised to obey and went upstairs with my message thinking as I went that if Mr Dick had been working at his memorial long at the same rate as I had seen him working at it through the open door when I came down he was probably getting on very well indeed I found him still driving at it with a long pen and his head almost laid upon the paper he was so intent upon it that I had ample Leisure to observe the large paper kite in a corner the confusion of bundles of manuscript the number of pens and above all the quantity of ink which he seemed to have in in half gallon jars by the Dozen before he observed my being present H feus said Mr Dick laying down his pen how does the world go I'll tell you what he added in a lower tone I shouldn't wish it to be mentioned but it's a here he beckoned to me and put his lips close to my ear it's a mad mad world mad as bedum boy said Mr Dick taking snuff from a round box on the table and laughing heartily without presuming to give my opinion on this question I delivered my message well said Mr dick in answer my compliments to her and I I believe I have made a start I think I've made a start said Mr dick passing his hand among his gray hair and casting anything but a confident look at his manuscript you have been to school yes sir I answered for a short time do you recollect the date said Mr Dick looking earnestly at me and taking up his pen to note it down when King Charles I had his head cut off I said I believed it happened in the year 1649 well returned Mr Dick SC matching his ear with his pen and looking dubiously at me so the books say but I don't see how that can be because if it was so long ago how could the people about him have made that mistake of putting some of the trouble out of his head after it was taken off into mine I was very much surprised by the inquiry but could give no information on this point it's very strange said Mr dick with a despondent look upon his papers and with his hand among his hair again that I never can get that quite right I never can make that perfectly clear but no matter no matter he said cheerfully and rousing himself there's time enough my compliments to miss Trotwood I'm getting on very well indeed I was going away when he directed my attention to the kite what do you think of that for a kite he said I answered that it was a beautiful one I should think it must have been as much as 7 ft High I made it we'll go and fly it you and I said Mr Dick do you see this he showed me that it was covered with manuscript very closely and laboriously written but so plainly that as I looked along the lines I thought I saw some illusion to King Charles I's head again in one or two places there's plenty of string said Mr Dick and when it flies High it takes the facts a long way that's my manner of diffusing them I don't know where they came down it's according to circumstances and the wind and so forth but I take my chance of that his face was so very mild and pleasant and had something so reverend in it though it was hail and Hearty that I was not sure but that he was having a good humored Gest with me so I laughed and he laughed and we parted the best friends possible well child said my aunt when I went downstairs and what of Mr Dick this morning I informed her that he sent his compliments and was getting on very well indeed what do you think of him said my aunt I had some shadowy idea of endeavoring to evade the question by replying that I thought him a very nice gentleman but my aunt was not to be so put off for she laid her work down in her lap and said folding her hands upon it come your sister Betsy Trotwood would have told me what she thought of anyone directly be as like your sister as you can and speak out is he is Mr Dick I asked because I don't know Aunt is he at all out of his mind then I stammered for I felt I was on Dangerous Ground not a morsel said my aunt Oh indeed I observed faintly if there is anything in the world said my aunt with great decision and force of manner that Mr dick is not it is that I had nothing better to offer than another timid Oh indeed he has been called mad said my aunt I have a selfish pleasure in saying he has been called mad or I should not have had the benefit of his society and advice for these last 10 years and upwards in fact ever since your sister Betsy Trotwood disappointed me so long as that I said and nice people they were who had the audacity to call him mad pursued my aunt Mr dick is a sort of distant connection of mine it doesn't matter how I needn't enter into that if it hadn't been for me his own brother would have shut him up for life that's all I'm afraid it was hypocritical in me but seeing that my aunt felt strongly on the subject I tried to look as if I felt strongly too a proud fool said my aunt because his brother was a little eccentric though he is not half so eccentric as a good many people he didn't like to have him visible about his house and sent him away to some private Asylum place though he had been left to his particular Care by their deceased father who thought him almost unnatural and a wise man he must have been to think so mad himself no doubt again as my aunt looked quite convinced I endeavored to look quite convinced also so I stepped in said my aunt and made him an offer I said your brother's sane a great deal more sane than you are or ever will be it is to be hoped let him have this little income and come and live with me I am not afraid of him I am not proud I am ready to take care of him and shall not ill treat him as some people besides the Asylum folks have done after a good deal of squabbling said my aunt I got him and he is has been here ever since he is the most friendly and amable creature in existence and as for advice but nobody knows what that man's mind is except myself my aunt smoothed her dress and shook her head as if she smooth Defiance of the whole world out of the one and shook it out of the other he had a favorite sister said my aunt a good creature and very kind to him but she did what they all do took a husband and he did what they all do made her wretched it had such an effect upon the mind of Mr dick that's not Madness I hope that combined with his fear of his brother and his sense of his unkindness it threw him into a fever that was before he came to me but the recollection of it is oppressive to him even now did he say anything to you about King Charles I child yes Aunt ah said my aunt rubbing her nose as if she were a little vexed that's his allegorical way of expressing it he connects his illness with great disturbance and agitation naturally and that's the figure or the simile or whatever it's called which he chooses to use and why shouldn't he if he thinks proper I said certainly aun it's not a business-like way of speaking said my aunt nor a worldly way I'm aware of that and that's the reason why I ins insist upon it that there sh be a word about it in his memorial is it a memorial about his own history that he is writing Aunt yes child said my aunt rubbing her nose again he is memorializing the Lord Chancellor or the Lord somebody or other one of those people at all events who are paid to be memorialized about his Affairs I suppose it will go in one of these days he hasn't been able to draw it up yet without introducing that mode of expressing himself but it don't signify it keeps him employed in fact I found out afterwards that Mr Dick had been for upwards of 10 years endeavoring to keep King Charles I out of the memorial but he had been constantly getting into it and was there now I say again said my aunt nobody knows what that man's mind is except myself and he's the most amable and friendly creature in existence if he likes to fly a kite sometimes what of that Franklin used to fly a kite he was a Quaker or something of that sort if I'm not mistaken and a Quaker flying a kite is a much more ridiculous object than anybody else if I could have supposed that my aunt had recounted these particulars for my special behoof and as a piece of confidence in me I should have felt very much distinguished and should have aured favorably from such a mark of her good opinion but I could hardly help observing that she had launched into them chiefly because the question was raised in her own mind and with very little reference to me though she had addressed herself to me in the absence of anybody else at the same time I must say that the generosity of her championship of poor harmless Mr Dick not only inspired my young breast with some selfish hope for myself but warmed it unselfishly toward her I believe that I began to know that there was something about my aunt not withstanding her many eccentricities and odd humors to be honored and trusted in though she was just as sharp that day as on the day before and was in and out about the donkeys just as often and was thrown into a tremendous state of indignation when a young man going by ogul Janet at a window which was one of the gravest misdemeanors that could be committed against my aunt's dignity she seemed to me to command more of my respect if not less of my fear the anxiety I underwent in the interval which necessarily elapsed before a reply could be received to her letter to Mr mdstone was extreme but I made an Endeavor to suppress it and to be as agreeable as I could in a quiet way both to my aunt and Mr Dick the latter and I would have gone out to fly the great kite but that I had still no other clothes than the anything but ornamental garments with which I had been decorated on the first day and which confined me to the house except for an hour after dark when my aunt for my Health's sake paraded me up and down on the cliff outside before going to bed at length the reply from Mr mdstone came and my aunt informed me to my infinite Terror that he was coming to speak to her himself on the next day on the next day still bundled up in my curious habiliments I sat counting the time flushed and he heated by the conflict of sinking hopes and Rising fears within me and waiting to be startled by the sight of the gloomy face whose non-arrival startled me every minute my aunt was a little more imperious and stern than usual but I observed no other token of her preparing herself to receive the visitor so much dreaded by me she sat at work in the window and I sat by with my thoughts running astray on all possible and impossible results of Mr murdstone's visit visit until pretty late in the afternoon our dinner had been indefinitely postponed but it was growing so late that my aunt had ordered it to be got ready when she gave a sudden alarm of donkeys and to my consternation and amazement I beheld miss mdstone on a side saddle ride deliberately over the sacred piece of green and stop in front of the house looking about her go along with you cried my aunt shaking her head and her fist at the window you have no business there how dare you trespass go along oh you boldfaced thing my aunt was so exasperated by the coolness with which Miss mdstone looked about her that I really believe she was motionless and unable for the moment to Dart out according to custom I seized the opportunity to inform her who it was and that the gentleman now coming near the offender for the way up was very Steep and he had dropped behind was Mr mdstone himself I don't care who it is cried my aunt still shaking her head and gesticulating anything but welcome from the bow window I won't be trespassed upon I won't allow it go away Janet turn him round lead him off and I saw from behind my aunt a sort of hurried battle piece in which the donkey stood resisting everybody with all his four legs planted different ways While Janet tried to pull him round by the Bridle Mr mdstone tried to lead him on Miss mdstone struck at Janet with a parasol and several boys who had come to see the engagement shouted vigorously but my aunt suddenly desing among them the Young malactor Who was the donkey's guardian and who was one of the most inveterate offenders against her though hardly in his teens rushed out to the scene of action pounced upon Him captured him dragged him with his jacket over his head and his heels grinding the ground into the garden and calling upon Janet to fetch the constables and justices that he might be taken tried and executed on the spot held him at Bay there this part of the business however did not last long for the young Rascal being expert at a variety of faints and Dodges of which my aunt had no conception soon went whooping away leaving some deep impressions of his nailed boots in the flower beds and taking his donkey in Triumph with him Miss mdstone during the latter portion of the contest had dismounted and was now waiting with her brother at the bottom of the steps until my aunt should be at leisure to receive them my aunt a little ruffled by the combat marched past them into the house with great dignity and took no notice of their presence until they were announced by Janet shall I go away Aunt I asked trembling no sir said my aunt certainly not with which she pushed me into a corner near her and fenced me in with a chair as if it were a prison or a bar of Justice this position I continued to occupy during the whole interview and from it now I saw Mr and Miss mdstone enter the room oh said my aunt I was not aware at first to whom I had the pleasure of objecting but I don't allow anybody to ride over that Turf I make no exceptions I don't allow anybody to do it your regulation is rather awkward to strangers said Miss mdstone is it said my aunt Mr mdstone seemed afraid of a renewal of hostilities and interposing began Miss Trotwood I beg your pardon observed my aunt with a keen look you are the Mr mdstone who married the Widow of my late nephew David Copperfield of blunderstone Rookery though why Rookery I don't know I am said Mr mdstone you'll excuse me saying sir returned my aunt that I think it would have been a much better and happier thing if you had left that poor child alone I so far agree with what Miss Truwood has remarked observed miss mdstone bridling that I consider our lamented claraa to have been in all essential respects a mere child it is a comfort to you and me mom said my aunt who are getting on in life and who are not likely to be made unhappy by our personal attractions that nobody can say the same of us no doubt returned Miss mdstone though I thought not with a very ready or gracious ascent and it certainly might have been as you say a better and happier thing for my brother if he had never entered into such a marriage I've always been of that opinion I have no doubt you have said my Aunt Janet ringing the bell my compliments to Mr Dick and beg him to come down and until he came my aunt sat perfectly upright and stiff frowning at the wall when he came my aunt performed the ceremony of introduction Mr Dick an old and intimate friend on Whose judgment said my aunt with emphasis as an admonition to Mr Dick who was biting his forefinger and looking rather foolish I Rely Mr dick took his finger out of his mouth on this hint and stood among the group with a grave and attentive expression of face my aunt inclined her head to Mr mdstone who went on Miss Trotwood on the receipt of your letter I considered it an act of Greater Justice to myself and perhaps of more respect to you thank you said my aunt still eyeing him keenly you needn't mind me to answer it in person however inconvenient the journey pursued Mr mdstone rather than by letter this unhappy boy who has run away from his friends and his occupation and whose appearance interposed his sister directing General attention to me in my indefinable costume is perfectly scandalous and disgraceful Jane mdstone said her brother have the goodness not to interrupt me this unhappy boy Miss Trotwood has been the occasion of much domestic trouble and uneasiness both during the life time of my late dear wife and since he has a sullen rebellious Spirit a violent temper and an untoward intractable disposition both my sister and myself have endeavored to correct his vices but ineffectually and I have felt we both have felt I may say my sister being fully in my confidence that it is right you should receive this grave and dispassionate Assurance from our lips it can hardly be necessary NE AR for me to confirm anything stated by my brother said Miss mdstone but I beg to observe that of all the boys in the world I believe this is the worst boy strong said my aunt surely but not at all too strong for the facts returned Miss mdstone ha said my aunt well sir I have my own opinions resumed Mr mdstone whose face darkened more and more the more he and my aunt observed each other which they did very narrowly as to the best mode of bringing him up they are founded in part on my knowledge of him and impart on my knowledge of my own means and resources I am responsible for them to myself I act upon them and I say no more about them it is enough that I place this boy under the eye of a friend of my own in a respectable business that it does not please him that he runs away from it makes himself a common Vagabond about the country and comes here in rags to appeal to you Miss Trotwood I wish to set before you honorably the exact consequences so far as they are within my knowledge of your abetting him in this appeal but about the respectable business first said my aunt if he had been your own boy you would have put him to it just the same I suppose if he had be my brother's own boy returned Miss mstone striking in his character I trust would have been altogether different or if the poor child his mother had been alive he would still have gone into the respectable business would he said my aunt I believe said Mr mdstone with an inclination of his head that claraa would have disputed nothing which myself and my sister Jane mdstone were agreed was for the best Miss merstone confirmed this with an audible murmur said my aunt un fortunate baby Mr Dick who had been rattling his money all this time was rattling it so loudly now that my aunt felt it necessary to check him with a look before saying the poor child's annuity died with her died with her replied Mr mdstone and there was no settlement of the little property the house and the garden and what's its name Rookery without any Rooks in it upon her boy it had been left to her Unconditionally by her first husband Mr mdstone began when my aunt caught him up with the greatest irascibility and impatience good Lord man there's no occasion to say that left to her unconditionally I think I see David Copperfield looking forward to any condition of any sort or kind though it stared him point blank in the face of course it was left to her unconditionally but when she married again when she took that most disastrous step of marrying you in short said my aunt to be plain did no one put in a word for the boy at that time my late wife loved her second husband Madam said Mr mdstone and trusted implicitly in him your late wife sir was a most unworldly most unhappy most unfortunate baby returned my aunt shaking her head at him that's what she was and now what have you got to say next merely this Miss Trotwood he returned I am here to take David back to take him back unconditionally to dispose of him as I think proper and to deal with him as I think right I am not here to make any promise or give any pledge to anybody you may possibly have some idea Miss Trotwood of abetting him in his running away and in his complaints to you your manner which I must say does not seem intended to propitiate in Du us es me to think it possible now I must caution you that if you abet him once you AB bet him for good and all if you step in between him and me now you must step in Miss Trotwood forever I cannot trifle or be trifled with I am here for the first and last time to take him away is he ready to go if he is not and you tell me he is not on any pretense it is indifferent to me me what my doors are shut against him henceforth and yours I take it for granted are open to him to this address my aunt had listened with the closest attention sitting perfectly upright with her hands folded on one knee and looking grimly on the speaker when he had finished she turned her eyes so as to command Miss mdstone without otherwise disturbing her attitude and said well Mom have you got anything to remark in indeed Miss Trotwood said Miss mdstone all that I could say has been so well said by my brother and all that I know to be the fact has been so plainly stated by him that I have nothing to add except my thanks for your politeness for your very great politeness I am sure said Miss mdstone with an irony which no more affected my aunt than it discomposed the cannon I had slept by at chattam and what does the boy say said my aunt are you ready to go David I answered no and entreated her not to let me go I said that neither Mister nor Miss mdstone had ever liked me or had ever been kind to me that they had made my mama who always loved me dearly unhappy about me and that I knew it well and that pegate knew it I said that I had been more miserable than I thought anybody could believe who only knew how young I was and I begged and prayed my aunt I forget in what ter terms now but I remember that they affected me very much then to befriend and protect me for my father's sake Mr dick said my aunt what shall I do with this child Mr Dick considered hesitated brightened and rejoined have him measured for a suit of clothes directly Mr dick said my aunt triumphantly give me your hand for your common sense is invaluable having shaken it with great cordiality she pulled me towards her and said to Mr mdstone you can go when you like I'll take my chance with the boy if he's all you say he is at least I can do as much for him then as you have done but I don't believe a word of it Miss Trotwood rejoined Mr mdstone shrugging his shoulders as he rose if you were a gentleman B stuff and nonsense said my aunt don't talk to me how exquisitly polite exclaimed Miss merstone Rising overpowering really do you think I don't know said my aunt turning a deaf ear to the sister and continuing to address the brother and to shake her head at him with infinite expression what kind of life you must have led that poor unhappy misdirected baby do you think I don't know what a woeful day it was for the soft little creature when you first came in her way smirking and making great eyes at her ALB bound as if you couldn't say say boo to a goose I never heard anything so elegant said Miss mdstone do you think I can't understand you as well as I had seen you pursued my aunt now that I do see and hear you which I tell you candidly is anything but a pleasure to me oh yes bless us who so smooth and silky as Mr mdstone at first the poor bited innocent had never seen such a man he was made of sweetness he worshiped her he doted on her boy tenderly doted on him he was to be another father to him and they were all to live together in a garden of roses weren't they get along with you do said my aunt I never heard anything like this person in my life exclaimed Miss mdstone and when you had made sure of the Poor Little Fool said my aunt God forgive me that I should call her so and she gone where you won't go in a hurry because you had not done wrong enough to her and hers you must begin to train her must you begin to break her like a poor Caged Bird and wear her deluded Life Away in teaching her to sing your notes this is either insanity or intoxication said Miss mstone in a perfect Agony at not being able to turn the current of my aunt's address towards herself and my suspicion is that it's intoxication Miss Betsy without taking the least notice of the the interruption continued to address herself to Mr mdstone as if there had been no such thing Mr mdstone she said shaking her finger at him you were a tyrant to the simple baby and you broke her heart she was a loving baby I know that I knew it years before you ever saw her and through the best part of her weakness you gave her the wound she died of there is the truth for your comfort however you like it and you and your instruments may make the most of it allow me to inquire Miss Trotwood interposed Miss mdstone whom you are pleased to call in a choice of words in which I am not experienced my brother's instruments still Stone deaf to the voice and utterly unmoved by it Miss Betsy pursued her discourse it was clear enough as I have told you years before you ever saw her and why in The Mysterious dispensation of Providence you ever did see her is more than Humanity can comprehend it was clear enough that the poor soft little thing would marry somebody at some time or other but I did hope it wouldn't have been as bad as it has turned out that was the time Mr mdstone when she gave birth to her boy here said my aunt to the poor child you sometimes tormented her through afterwards which is a disagreeable remembrance and makes the sight of him odious now I I you needn't wince said my aunt I know it's true without that he had stood by the door all this while observant of her with a smile upon his face though his black eyebrows were heavily contracted I remarked now that though the smile was on his face still his color had gone in a moment and he seemed to breathe as if he had been running good day sir said my aunt and goodbye good day to you too Mom said my aunt turning suddenly upon his sister let me see you ride a donkey over my green again and as sure as you have a head upon your shoulders I'll knock your Bonnet off and tread upon it it would require a painter and no common painter too to depict my aunt's face as she delivered herself of this very unexpected sentiment and Miss murdstone's face as she heard it but the manner of the speech no less than the matter was so fiery that Miss mdstone without a word in answer discreetly put her arms through her brothers and walked haughtily out of the cottage my aunt remaining in the window looking after them prepared I have no doubt in case of the donkey's reappearance to carry her threat into instant execution no attempt at Defiance being made however her face gradually relaxed and became so pleasant that I was emboldened to kiss and thank her which I did with great heartiness and with both my arms clasped around her neck I then shook hands with Mr Dick who shook hands with me a great many times and hailed this happy close of the proceedings with repeated bursts of laughter you consider yourself Guardian jointly with me of this child Mr dick said my aunt I shall be delighted said Mr Dick to be the guardian of David's son very good returned my aunt that settled I have been thinking do you know Mr dick that I might call him Trotwood certainly certainly call him Trotwood certainly said Mr Dick David's Sons Trotwood Trotwood Copperfield you mean returned my aunt yes to be sure yes Trotwood Copperfield said Mr Dick a little abashed my aunt took so kindly to the notion that some ready-made clothes which were purchased for me that afternoon were marked Trotwood Copperfield in her own handwriting and in indelible marking ink before I put them on and it was settled that all the other clothes which were ordered to be made for me a complete outfit was bespoke that afternoon should be marked in the same way thus I began my new life in a new name and with everything new about me now that the state of Doubt was over I felt for many days like one in a dream I never thought that I had a curious couple of Guardians in my AR to Mr Dick I never thought of anything about myself distinctly the two things clearest in my mind were that a remoteness had come upon the old blunderstone life which seemed to lie in the haze of an immeasurable distance and that a curtain had forever fallen on my life at mdstone and grimy no one has ever raised that curtain since I have lifted it for a moment even in this narrative with a reluctant hand and dropped it gladly the remembrance of that life is fraught with so much pain to me with so much mental suffering uffing and want of hope that I have never had the courage even to examine how long I was doomed to lead it whether it lasted for a year or more or less I do not know I only know that it was and ceased to be and that I have written and there I leave it chapter 15 I make another beginning Mr Dick and I soon became the best of friends and very often when his day's work was done went out together to fly the great kite every day of his life he had a long sitting at the memorial which never made the least progress however hard he labored for King Charles I always strayed into it sooner or later and then it was thrown aside and another one begun the patience and hope with which he bore these Perpetual disappointments the mild perception he had that there was something wrong about King Charles I the feeble efforts he made to keep him out and the the certainty with which he came in and tumbled the memorial out of all shape made a deep impression upon me what Mr dick supposed would come of the memorial if it were completed where he thought it was to go or what he thought it was to do he knew no more than anybody else I believe nor was it at all necessary that he should trouble himself with such questions for if anything was certain Under the Sun it was certain that the memorial never would be finished it was quite an affecting sight I used to think to see him with the kite when it was up a great height in the air what he told me in his room about his belief in its disseminating the statements pasted on it which were nothing but old leaves of abortive memorials might have been a fancy with him sometimes but not when he was out looking up at the kite in the sky and feeling it pull and tug at his hands he never looked so Serene as he did then I used to fancy as I sat by him of an evening on a green slope and saw him watch the kite high in the quiet air as it lifted his mind out of its confusion and bore it such was my boyish thought into the skies as he wound the string in and it came lower and lower down out of the beautiful light until it fluttered to the ground and lay there like a dead thing he seemed to wake gradually out of a dream and I remember to have seen him take it up and look about him in a lost way as if they had both both come down together so that I pitted him with all my heart while I advanced in friendship and intimacy with Mr Dick I did not go backward in the favor of his staunch friend my aunt she took so kindly to me that in the course of a few weeks she shortened my adopted name of Trotwood into Trot and even encouraged me to hope that if I went on as I had begun I might take equal rank in her affections with my sister Betsy Trotwood Trot said my aunt one evening when the B gam board was placed as usual for herself and Mr Dick we must not forget your education this was my only subject of anxiety and I felt quite delighted by her referring to it should you like to go to school at Canterbury said my aunt I replied that I should like it very much as it was so near her good said my aunt should you like to go tomorrow being already no stranger to the general rapidity of my aunt's Evolutions I was not surprised by the suddenness of the proposal and said yes good said my aunt again Janet hire the gray Pony and ches tomorrow morning at 10:00 and pack up Master Trotwood clothes tonight I was greatly elated by these orders but my heart smoked me for my selfishness when I witnessed their effect on Mr Dick who was so low-spirited at the prospect ECT of our separation and played so ill in consequence that my aunt after giving him several ABM monetary wraps on the knuckles with her dice box shut up the board and declined to play with him anymore but on hearing from my aunt that I should sometime come over on a Saturday and that he could sometimes come and see me on a Wednesday he revived and vowed to make another kite for those occasions of proportions greatly surpassing the present one in the morning he was downhearted again and would have sustained himself by giving me all the money he had in his possession gold and silver too if my aunt had not interposed and limited the gift to five Shillings which at his Earnest petition were afterwards increased to 10 we parted at the Garden Gate in a most affectionate Manner and Mr Dick did not go into the house until my aunt had driven me out of sight of it my aunt who was perfectly indifferent to public opinion drove the gray Pony threw do in a masterly manner sitting high and stiff like a state Coachman keeping a steady eye upon Him wherever he went and making a point of not letting him have his own way in any respect when we came into the country road she permitted him to relax a little however and looking at me down in a valley of cushion by her side asked me whether I was happy very happy indeed thank you Aunt I said she was much gratified and both her hands being occupied patted me on the head with her whip is it a large school Aunt I asked why I don't know said my aunt we are going to Mr wickfield's first does he keep a school I asked no Trot said my aunt he keeps an office I asked for no more information about Mr Wickfield as she offered none and we conversed on other subjects until we came to Canterbury where as it was Market day my aunt had a great opportunity of insinuating the gray Pony among carts baskets vegetables and huers goods the hair breed's turns and twists we made Drew down upon us a variety of speeches from the people standing about which were not always complimentary but my aunt drove on with perfect indifference and I dare say would have taken her own way with as much coolness through an enemy's country at length we stopped before a very old house bulging out over the road a house with long low ltis Windows bulging out still farther and beams with carved heads on the ends bulging out too so that I fancied the whole house was leaning forward trying to see who was passing on the narrow pavement below it was quite spotless in its cleanliness the old-fashioned brass knocker on the low arched door ornamented with carved garlands of fruit and flowers twinkled like a star the two Stone steps descending to the door were as white as if they had been covered with Fair linen and all the Angles and corners and carvings and moldings and quaint little panes of glass and quainter little Windows though as old as the hills were as pure as any snow that ever fell upon the hills when the pony shars stopped at the door and my eyes were intent upon the house I saw a cadaverous face appear at a small window on the ground floor in a little round tower that formed one side of the house and quickly disappear the low arched door then opened and the face came out it was quite as cadaverous as it looked in the window though in the grain of it there was that tinge of red which is sometimes to be observed in the skins of red-haired people it belonged to a red-haired person a youth of 15 as I take it now but looking much older whose hair was cropped as close as the closest stubble who had hard any eyebrows and no eyelashes and eyes of a red Brown so unsheltered and unshaded that I remember wondering how he went to sleep he was high shouldered and bony dressed in decent black with a white wisp of a neckcloth buttoned up to the throat and had a long lank skeleton hand which particularly attracted my attention as he stood at the pony's head rubbing his chin with it and looking up at us in the shz is Mr Wickfield at home Uriah Heap said my aunt Mr wickfield's at home mom said Uriah heap if you'll please to walk in there pointing with his long hand to the room he meant we got out and leaving him to hold the pony went into a long low parlor looking towards the street from the window of which I caught a glimpse as I went in of urah Heap breathing into the pony's nostrils and immediately covering them with his hand as as if he were putting some spell upon Him opposite to the tall old chimney piece were two portraits one of a gentleman with gray hair though not by any means an old man and black eyebrows who was looking over some papers tied together with red tape the other of a lady with a very Placid and sweet expression of face who was looking at me I believe I was turning about in search of uriah's picture when a door at the farther end of the room opening a gentleman entered at sight of whom I turned to the first mentioned portrait again to make quite sure that it had not come out of its frame but it was stationary and as the gentleman Advanced into the light I saw that he was some years older than when he had had his picture painted Miss Betsy Trotwood said the gentleman pray walk in I was engaged for a moment but you'll excuse my being busy you know my motive I have but one in life Miss Betsy thanked him and we went into his room which was furnished as an office with books papers tint boxes and so forth it looked into a garden and had an iron safe let into the wall so immediately over the mantle shelf that I wondered as I sat down how the sweeps got round it when they swept the chimney well miss Trotwood said Mr Wickfield for I soon found that it was he and that he was a lawyer and Steward of the Estates of a rich gentleman of the country what wind blows you here not an ill wind I hope no replied my aunt I have not come for any law that's right mom said Mr Wickfield you had better come for anything else his hair was quite white now though his eyebrows were still black he had a very agreeable face and I thought was handsome there was a certain richness in his complexion which I had been long accustomed under Peg's tuition to connect with port wine and I fancied it was in his voice too and referred his growing corpulency to the same cause he was very cleanly dressed in a blue coat striped waist coat and nanen trousers and his fine drilled shirt and cambric neckcloth looked unusually soft and white reminding my strolling fancy I call to mind of the plumage on the breast of a swan this is my nephew said my aunt wasn't aware you had one miss Trotwood said Mr Wickfield my grand nephew that is to say observed my aunt wasn't aware you had a grand nephew I give you my word said Mr Wickfield I have adopted him said my aunt with a wave of her hand importing that his knowledge and his ignorance were all one to her and I have brought him here to put him to a school where he may be thoroughly well taught and well treated now tell me where that school is and what it is and all about it before I can advise you properly said Mr Wickfield the old question you know what's your motive in this juice take the man exclaimed my aunt always fishing for motives when they're on the surface why to make the child happy and useful it must be a mixed motive I think said Mr Wickfield shaking his head and smiling incredulously a mixed fiddlestick returned my aunt you claim to have one plain motive in all you do yourself you don't suppose I hope that you are the only Plain Dealer in the world I but I have only one motive in life Miss Trotwood he rejoined smiling other people have dozens scores hundreds I have only one there's the difference however that's beside the question the best school whatever the motive you want the best my aunt nodded Ascent at the best we have said Mr Wickfield considering your NE couldn't board just now but he could board somewhere else I suppose suggested my aunt Mr Wickfield thought I could after a little discussion he proposed to take my aunt to the school that she might see it and judge for herself also to take her with the same object to two or three houses where he thought I could be boarded my aunt embracing The Proposal we were all three going out together when he stopped and said our little friend might have some motive perhaps for objecting to the arrangements I think we had better leave him behind my aunt seemed disposed to contest the point but to facilitate matters I said I would gladly remain behind if they pleased and returned into Mr wickfield's office where I sat down again in the chair I had first occupied to await their return it so happened that this chair was opposite a narrow passage which ended in the little circular room where I had seen Uriah heap's pale face looking out of window Uriah having taken the pony to a neighboring stable was at work at a desk in this room which had a brass frame on the top to hang papers upon and on which the writing he was making a copy of was then hanging though his face was toward me I thought for some time the writing thing between us that he could not see me but looking that way more attentively it made me uncomfortable to observe OB erve that every now and then his Sleepless eyes would come below the writing like two red sons and stealthily stare at me for I dare say a whole minute at a time during which his pen went or pretended to go as cleverly as ever I made several attempts to get out of their way such as standing on a chair to look at a map on the other side of the room and pouring Over The Columns of a kentish newspaper but they always attracted me back again and whenever I looked towards those two red Sons I was sure to find them either just rising or just setting at length much to my relief my aunt and Mr Wickfield came back after a pretty long absence they were not so successful as I could have wished for though the advantages of the school were undeniable my aunt had not approved of any of the boarding houses proposed for me it is very unfortunate said my aunt I don't know what to do Trot it does happen unfortunately said Mr Wickfield but I'll tell you what you can do miss Trotwood what's that inquired my aunt leave your nephew here for the present he's a quiet fellow he won't disturb me at all it's a capital house for study as quiet as a monastery and almost as roomy leave him here my aunt evidently liked the offer though she was delicate of accepting it it so did I come Miss Trotwood said Mr Wickfield this is the way out of the difficulty it's only a temporary Arrangement you know if it don't act well or don't quite Accord with our mutual convenience he can easily go to the right about there will be time to find some better place for him in the meanwhile you had better determined to leave him here for the present I am very much obliged to you said my aunt and so is he I see but come I know what you mean cried Mr Wickfield you shall not be oppressed by the receipt of favors Miss Trotwood you may pay for him if you like we won't be hard about terms but you shall pay if you will oh that understanding said my aunt though it doesn't lessen the real obligation I shall be very glad to leave him then come and see my little housekeeper said Mr Wickfield we accordingly went up a wonderful old staircase with a ballustrade so Broad that we might have gone up that almost as easily and into a shady old drawing room lighted by some three or four of the quaint windows I had looked up at from the street which had old oak seats in them that seemed to have come of the same trees as The Shining Oak floor and the great beams in the ceiling it was a prettily furnished room with a piano and some Lively Furniture in red and green and some flowers it seemed to be all nooks and corners and in every nook and corner there was some queer little table or cupboard or bookcase or seat or something or other that made me think there was not such another good Corner in the room until I looked at the next one and found it equal to it if not better on everything there was the same air of retirment and cleanliness that marked the house outside Mr Wickfield tapped at a door in a corner of the paneled wall and a girl of about my own age came quickly out and kissed him on her face I saw immed medely the Placid and sweet expression of the lady whose picture had looked at me downstairs it seemed to my imagination as if the portrait had grown womanly and the original remained a child although her face was quite bright and happy there was a Tranquility about it and about her a quiet good calm spirit that I never have forgotten that I never shall forget this was his little housekeeper his daughter Agnes Mr Wickfield said when I heard how he said it and saw how he held her hand I guessed what the one motive of his life was she had a little basket trifle hanging at her side with keys in it and looked as stayed and as discreet a housekeeper as the old house could have she listened to her father as he told her about me with a pleasant face and when he had concluded proposed to my aunt that we should go upstairs and see my room we all all went together she before us and a glorious old room it was with more Oak beams and Diamond panes and the broad ballustrade going all the way up to it I cannot call to mind where or when in my childhood I had seen a stained glass window in a church nor do I recollect its subject but I know that when I saw her turn around in the grave light of the old staircase and wait for us above I thought of that window and that I associated something of its tranquil brightness with Agnes Wickfield ever afterwards my aunt was as happy as I was in the arrangement made for me and we went down to the drawing room again well pleased and gratified as she would not hear of staying to dinner lest she should by any chance fail to arrive at home with the gray Pony before dark and as I apprehended Mr Wickfield knew her too well to argue any point with her some lunch was provided for her there and Agnes went back to her governor and Mr Wickfield to his office so we were left to take leave of one another without any restraint she told me that everything would be arranged for me by Mr Wickfield and that I should want for nothing and gave me the kindest words and the best advice Trot said my aunt in conclusion be a credit to yourself to me and Mr Dick and Heaven be with you I was greatly overcome and could only thank her again and again and send my love to Mr Dick never said my aunt be mean in anything never be false Never Be Cruel avoid those three vices Trot and I can always be hopeful of you I promised as well as I could that I would not abuse her kindness or forget her admonition the pony's at the door said my aunt and I am off stay here with these words she embraced me hastily and went out of the room shutting the door after her at first I was startled by so abrupt a departure and almost feared I had displeased her but when I looked into the street and saw how dejectedly she got into the shars and drove away without looking up I understood her better and did not do her that Injustice by 5:00 which was Mr wickfield's dinner hour I had mustered up my spirits again and was ready for my knife and fork the cloth was only laid for us two but Agnes was waiting in the drawing room before dinner went down with her father and sat opposite to him at table I doubted whether he could have dined without her we did not stay there after dinner but came upstairs into the drawing room again in one snug corner of which Agnus set glasses for her father and a decanter of port wine I thought he would have missed its usual flavor if it had been put there for him by any other hands there he sat taking his wine and taking a good deal of of it for 2 hours while Agnes played on the piano worked and talked to him and me he was for the most part gay and cheerful with us but sometimes his eyes rested on her and he fell into a brooding State and was silent she always observed this quickly as I thought and always roused him with a question or caress then he came out of his meditation and drank more wine Agnes made the tea and present decided over it and the time passed after it as after dinner until she went to bed when her father took her in his arms and kissed her and she being gone ordered candles in his office then I went to bed too but in the course of the evening I had rambled down to the door and a little way along the street that I might have another peep at the old houses and the gray Cathedral I might think of my coming through that old city on my journey and of my passing the very house I lived in without knowing it as I came back I saw Uriah Heap shutting up the office and feeling friendly towards everybody went in and spoke to him and at parting gave him my hand but oh what a clammy hand his was as ghostly to the touch as to the sight I rubbed mine afterwards to warm it and to rub his off it was such an uncomfortable hand that when I went to my room it was still cold and wet upon my memory leaning out of the window and seeing one of the faces on the beam ends looking at me sideways I fancied it was Uriah Heap got up there somehow and shut him out in a hurry