Dr. Karlfeldt interviews Betty Bridges, mother to Todd Bridges - True.health Show

Intro with me today i have the honor of having betty bridges betty you're you're an actress you're a manager you're uh you teach actors yes i do and also what i mean what projects have you done what kind of movies well the last thing i just did was two broke girls yeah yeah i was a grandmother whose granddaughter was graduating oh wonderful yeah and your son Todd Bridges todd bridges he is very well known for his role in different strokes right he's he's currently doing great he's in in las vegas right now right doing a roll over there he's hosting his hosting and he's i know that in the you you've gone through a lot of challenging times in in your life true and uh growing up in in in the neighborhood that that you were in and there were a lot of challenging times this was a white neighborhood and i mean that created a lot of stress then for you as a mother and also for your son todd yes you can tell me a little bit about that well when we had decided to move to the valley because where we were living in baldwin hills yeah um it was kind of rough because to get into the house it was rough because todd was on different strokes and it would be a lot of people out in front of the house so even to just get your car into the garage was hard because they knew he lived there so that we so i said you know we probably need to move to the valley you know because people won't know us out there you know and uh we did we moved to the valley and for a while they are we wanted to move out of the out of the valley because it was just a The 80s very stressful time and well it was the 80s yeah it was the 80s and in the 80s um they i don't think the police department wanted negroes should i say african americans out there in the valley no they didn't want them there and how did they react to that oh terrible they stopped my kids every day in their cars give them tickets it was horrible and if a friend visited us that was african-american same thing yeah they would do the exact same thing give them tickets unwarranted tickets yeah Vietnam vet and and how did how did that uh i mean how did todd respond to that i mean how did that affect him well it started making him pretty nervous and and when i took him to see a psychiatrist he said he was like a vietnam vet yeah you know they said he was uh she had shell shock you know and that uh every time he saw a cop he just he would just start shaking and oh they're gonna get they're gonna bother me mom they're gonna bother me and sure enough they'd pull him over it was horrible it was hard and that was every day every day just about he had nine thousand dollars worth of tickets in one year that's insane and here is Todds persecution somebody that it was was well beloved i mean we we all loved the show we all loved his character and and he's going through that type of persecution yes yes in the valley yeah and uh later on in his life he was dealing with some some really challenge i mean even more challenging times can you tell me a little bit about well he had been molested as a child but i didn't know about that until uh he started going through all these other problems and then he finally admitted it yeah and i knew the person it was his father's friend oh really yeah so i he came to the house and todd jumped on him one day and i didn't know why ty would jump on this guy a grown man you know exactly and i pulled out off him and i said what happened and todd told me what that's when he finally said what had happened and and how how does Life change life change from from those events i mean here's going through the persecution you know having that the molestations taking place it was enough to make anybody crazy absolutely really it's enough to make anybody crazy yeah yeah and then that's how he that's how when he started to use the drugs okay Turning points and and how i mean as a mother seeing that transformation i mean you have this this wonderful sweet child yeah it was awful and yeah to see that to see that it was awful it really was and and to what point i mean when were some of the turning points in that whole process well i'm a very religious person yeah and i prayed one night i just sat in my bed three of my friends that were visiting because they wanted to pray with me for todd you know and i sat up in my bed i crossed my legs you know like they do in the lotus position and i started praying to god and i started crying i mean tears of pain were coming out of me and i just asked god to help me please help me he says he wants to quit drugs but he still won't quit i said i don't know why so for three nights in a row three nights in a row i was woke up what and a voice said turn the tv on yeah now you know i think i'm going crazy yeah absolutely so i flipped the tv on thinking maybe that was in my mind yeah i flipped the tv on it was on bipolar manic depression that didn't didn't it didn't register then at all no so then the second night same thing wake up same message wake up turn the tv on yeah i turned the tv on it was again on manic depression so i'm still not getting it right it took the third time for it me it to say but i was on a different channel then i i was flipping through and there was a good movie on so i stayed on the moving the voice said turn and i'm like okay turn okay i turned and it was a bipolar manic depression and i finally i said ah really i've been praying and you you told me now what it is so i said he needs some help i didn't know what to do and uh this voice said find a place for him to go yeah now i don't even know where he is so how am i gonna find a place for him to go i didn't know where he was so i got on the phone i started calling around all these different places you know and everybody would say he has to walk in on his own i said how can he walk in on his own when he doesn't i don't even know where he is to even make him walk in on his own you know so what happened was i said god you know where he is you know where he is you got to find him yeah i just start praying to god you know you just got to find him and my friends thought i was going crazy they said what are you doing on that phone they said betty it's three or four in the morning what are you doing i said i'm calling to find a place for my son to go yeah and they were like but you don't even know where he is i said i know i don't but i still have to find the place yeah they said she's lost it poor thing they thought i was really nuts i found i i called cedar cyanide and cedars told me to call to to put him in cpc hospital and i was like i don't even know what cpc hospital was but i said well let me call them so i called them and um i told them that i have a son they said well he has a walk-in on his own and then they put this other guy on who was an older guy who had been i guess on drugs for almost 30 years and he's been no he's been clean and sober 30 years that's what it was cleaning us over 30 years and he says i told him what my son's name was and he says well until we he has to walk in on his own or he has to be arrested right now so i i started praying to god i said please god help me i need help you know where he is but i don't you know yeah and so the next morning he was arrested and i was jumping my friends were like girl what's wrong with you your son's been arrested i know but i know where he is thank you father thank you my prayers are answered and i went down i called cpc hospital the guy said i will go with you down there to the courthouse to get him he went with me he knew the judge because he the judge had was had been um he had been on alcohol he was the judge had been an alcoholic so they had gotten some judges who had had uh problems like that had gotten together and said they're gonna help young people who are in trouble to they're gonna help them to get clean so he went down he knew the judge the judge released tied to him todd looked back at me and he knew that i had something to do with it right he said i know you had something to do with it i hate you i said that's okay it's okay you can hate me but you're gonna get some help now right now now when i told cpc that cedars is the one that told me to call them they said cedars has the same program we have why would they have you i said i don't know they're the ones that told me to call you and i did yeah and they're like well okay you know but everything worked out todd got the therapist he needed he got the help he needed for his uh his uh drug addiction and and the judge told him he had to stay in that place a year you got to stay a year and i said ah thank you father so it was court order that he had the judge said young man if i ever see you in this court again yeah these two words six years that's what he said so todd was able to he said you go home with this guy and he's taking you right on over to the hospital yeah and how how did it go i mean to get Getting off drugs off all the drugs and get off everything they have a program there that had to be incredible and had to be where god wanted him because the problems that he had from being molested he had to he he had he said in his mind mom i kind of thought maybe i'm gay i said well if you are then you are but you know i still love you you know but he's the the guy guy his therapist was gay now isn't that wonderful his therapist was gay and todd was talking to him about it and todd the therapist said no man you're not gay i'm gay he said you you looking at every woman that walked past here your head turned around like the exorcist so he said no you're not gay no he said you're not you're not gay i am and todd cracked up he said mom i even have a gay therapist and he told me i was not gay you know and died about that affirmation yeah because he thought he was he said well if i was a molested i must be that's you know a lot of babies think that you know if they've been molested they think that yeah you know but but he he said he said he said i wasn't so i guess i'm not yeah you know what we'll The lowest of low say i'm curious what was the lowest of low through that process i mean where i mean i know when you reach out to god i mean and saying god help the lowest of low was when a friend called me and saw my son at 65th avenue in south central and she said i know where he went he went to some kind of raggedy house he said i could give you the address so she gave me the address and i went to get him because i had been missing for almost a month and so i said well i'm going to get him so i went down there went into the drug houses pushing people all out the way looking for my son but what had happened was one of todd's friends that knew me said your mom's on our way to get you right so he ran out to the next drug high down the street and when i got in there pushing people out the way they said who is this crazy lady in here i said i'm looking for my son and anybody seen him and uh the guy kid that knew me he said miss bridges he ran so he said he ran down the street so i said which way he told me which way so i went to the next drug house boy those drug houses are something else man trash everywhere it was they were i mean it wasn't like a junk i'm not scared of anything i have got it my god is on me i'm not scared no that doesn't buy my kids oh i'll tell you the thing that happened with the drug thing the drug addict uh todd called me because ty did give me some money he said mom do not do not let me have this money i said okay you can't have it i think with something like 25 000 something like that he said don't let me have it no matter if i beg you or get mad don't let me have it i said okay you know me you're not gonna get it that's all so todd called me said mom i need some of that money i need five thousand i said nope you can't have it he said mom i need it i said i don't care you can't have it so the drug dealer gets on he says he said i'm coming out there to get that money and you better have it ready right i said come on i got something for you come on yeah come on so years later when todd was totally clean and sober stuff i asked him about it i said you remember that time you called to get that money that you told me to save for you i said well how come you guys didn't come because i was waiting for you said i know i told that drug dealer he said i said my mother has 22 guns of mine and she is a crack shot i'm not going out there you want to go you go but you're a dead man i can tell you that but i'm not going i'm not going it doesn't matter because that's right he was not allowed to have guns in his house after he had the problems you know with the drug and stuff he wasn't allowed to have guns in the house so i had them they were all under my bed so i loaded everything up i put all my little chairs from my my my tables set them all out and loaded everything and put them all out there and sat by that door and i did that for three three solid days i sat there waiting for them to come with the guns and todd said i told him my mother said she ain't scared of nobody but god and plus when his father left me for his secretary the secretary was was the age of my my daughter and when she left me todd was angry really angry with his father he said i'm going to kill him and i said oh yeah let's go kill him come on let's come go with me right i went to the the i said come on and he said he when i say come on let's go the look on his face was like really are you kidding me mom i said no come on let's go get in the car yeah i took him to the the firing range you know how they have the the things that look like a man's figure i said now that's your dad yeah yeah you shoot your dad and i'm gonna shoot your dad yeah and and when i started shooting i shot everything right in the same spot todd was like mom how are you learning to shoot like that i said my grandfather taught me to shoot when i was nine years old i said so you know when i go to those firing rings where the where or no the little places where you know you can shoot the water in the hole and the things rise up i always beat people you know because i'm like yeah perfect name and and i had a lot of brothers growing up and and my grandfather said he didn't even want me to go to the range with them because girls can't go right my mother says she goes everywhere the boys go i was raised with seven boys she goes everywhere the boys go so i went with them right and i was the one that was shooting everything off the thing and the boys were old he said boy my grandbaby is so good she can shoot everything these boys these boys don't know how to do this they don't know how to do it she shot at baby you're right you're right i should you're right to make me let her go with us you know well that drug killer must have been a wise man not calvin well after you todd told him todd told him man my mother don't pray i'm telling you she don't play she prays all the time and she says she's scared of nobody but god so i ain't going out there you can go if you want but i'm not going so when when you when you're looking them for your son in these different crack houses i mean did you find them never did find him never did in fact the found was when when uh he was arrested and i was jumping up and down that he was arrested that's when the found was todd used to have a house full of people who were drugs and alcohol just a lot of mess you know yeah and i would go over there and i'd run them away but you know you run them away and as soon as i'm gone they're right back so one day i just went home and i and i had this hat it was a big wide brim hat with a big veil that went down in the front and i dressed all in black and now i have this dress that goes from from here all the way to the floor just about yeah and i put all that on and i went and knocked on the door and he opened the door and he went why are you dressed like that i said uh oh i need to talk to you so i went into the house and i stood there and looked at it first of all i all the drug i said i want all you guys to leave right now they're like todd do we have my mother said leave i guess you're better so i said todd this is what i'm gonna wear when you die when they call me on the phone and tell me you're dead this is what i'm wearing to your funeral and he said oh he was like he was like mom that's terrible to say that to me i said but i need to say it i need to say that to you so the next time i tried to come back to his house he tried to nail me out i'm not kidding you he was tearing up his furniture putting it over the windows and stuff and nailing me out of the house he didn't want me to come in no well see he knew you meant the truth i said when they call me and tell me you're dead yeah i said i'm i'm going to wear this to your funeral yeah I was an enabler and what was fascinating to me is by you letting him know that and those type of actions is i mean what i believe truly saved his life in the beginning i was not i was not doing the right thing i was an enabler and i didn't know that but a girlfriend of mine she told me she said betty you probably should go and take those classes you know you can go in there and they'll tell you all about drug addiction and all that stuff i said yeah i should do that and i did and that's when i realized oh my god what you're doing is not helping him no you know i was an enabler oh save my son let me save my son i wasn't saving him i was helping him to stay on drugs i didn't know that though didn't know What I did that you say say my son say my son i mean what what are some of the some examples some examples were to make sure he didn't lose all of his money so keep his money away from him and another thing if he got in put in jail run down there and get him out you know yeah after that here's what i did here's what i did after i found out that everything i i was doing was wrong what i did was this he would call me mom i got arrested again you got to come down and get me out and say no baby i love you very much but i can't do that anymore from now on you're on your own he's scared that's he said that scared the living daylights out of him he said my mom's not going to help me so then when uh when he would need a lawyer or something like that he'd call me mom you need to talk to johnny cochran or somebody because i need some help and i said you called johnny cochran not me i said you're on your own now i told you i'm through i said mom i love you mom loves you but i can't help you anymore no and that's and that's when when when finally i prayed to god and god told me what to do and and he got put in jail and then he ended up at the place and everything just after and then he became a counselor they put you know i i thought he was going to go home after after that year but there was a an actor two actors actually but the the youngest actor this i don't know if you guys remember the actors was real short when they're real tall when they were acting together they wore cowboy hats okay uh he went to time he talked to him and i've been saying don't go back home yeah i said come and stay with me for a while don't go back home because that's that's your haunts you know you know where those places are but this guy told him todd don't go back home he said you know that area too well he says go somewhere else go into the what they call the what they call those homes when they yeah like they they don't call them halfway anymore they say something sober living yeah sober living they said go to sober living he says stay there for a year and he says and and i guarantee you after you get out of there you'll be much better off than going Im mad at Michael right home so he did a year then and and the initial and the initial uh-huh and then and then a year in sober living and and then he became counselor in sober living which was really good and then he had nerd to be calling me i am really mad at michael because michael went out and stayed after 12 o'clock and then come in here hi i said todd how many times did you do that when you were first trying to get sober how many times did you do that before you finally cleaned how many times he goes oh yeah you're right so i should give him another chance yes you should give him another chance you know and you should give somebody as many checks as you took that's exactly right i said remember you weren't clean the first time either he was like yeah you're right you're right so yeah and he and they really liked him i remember once the phone rang right and i picked the phone at the same time todd did normally if i see he's on there it's for him i put hanging up but it was a guy so i thought it better not be a drug deal or anything right so i'm listening and this was a guy that he had todd had helped in the sober living and he was todd was his counselor and he said on the phone he said todd i want you to come to my house for a barbecue my mom wants you to come and he said she said he said to todd this is the first time in 40 years that i've been clean and sober and i i tell everybody it's because of todd bridges because he wouldn't let me lie to myself he said every time i lied he'd say come on man you know you you know you're not telling the truth come on say tell the truth you can't get healthy until you tell the truth he said i had to do that my mom made me tell the truth you know i would just look and say todd now are you telling me the truth or not you go all right mom you know but this guy i started crying i started crying on the phone because he said because of you tide i am clean and sober 40 years he had been on drugs well what Todds impact what an impact so he's helping and todd started after that he promised god that he would go around and talk to all kinds of children in different places like the the homes and things like that he's done a lot of that a lot of that and i went to see him once and i could not believe how brilliant he was i couldn't believe it i'm sitting there tears rolling down my face i'm like i didn't know my son could do that you know he would tell those kids he would say now if you're just messing with drugs a little bit he said go and tell your parents that you need help get help now before you go too deep into it you know todd was he was brilliant i tell you i just tears just started rolling down my eyes i said i couldn't believe he's so good yeah you know so he did that in mexico they had an interpreter for him in mexico bermuda they called him bermuda and all kinds of churches all up and down the coast yeah wow yeah i i truly applaud you for for the the love and the courage that you had in order to be able to save your son and and you know obviously i know exactly god i really give all allowing that power to be there exactly exactly that is the key that's it that is what helps to save you know save your son absolutely all the people that he impacted after that yes thank you so much you are absolutely welcome