Love Is Blind UK #5 - (No One's Ever Loved Me) - Therapist Reacts (Intro)

hey deserv listeners Love is Blind let's check it out no one's ever loved me I I need someone to love me more than anything as well okay I have to be real with you honestly I know it's not going to be easy but like okay that's interesting now is he referring to the pods that Jasmine didn't love him is he referring to some kind of trauma is that's something that an immature person would say and that he's not really coming from an adult place of realism and he's more from an innocent naive place of he doesn't care who or why he just wants someone to love him which hopefully you all go through when you're young when the consequences are lower and then you learn oh it's not just getting someone to love me it's having mutual love and compatibility that's much much more important uh and so I have to have other boxes to check let's rewind I I really love you I really do I really do no one's ever loved me no one's ever loved me let's put that on the notes no one ever loved me wow well now I feel bad for him I I need someone to love me more than anything as well okay I have I need to have someone love me it kind of changes the first statements I have to be real with you to be real with you honestly I know it's not going to be easy but like even from the first day like you made me feel such a ease I want you to know that like you are accepted you are loved like regardless and like there's just so much love here okay he was very intuitive of Nicole that was what he was getting at and it almost seemed like he was panicking and so she attuned to that and addressed there it's good this is why I'm going to do what I'm going to do [Music] now and I can't believe I'm doing this because I never thought in my life I was ever going to do this oh my gosh my hand is against the glass Nicole I'm hoping this is the only time in my life I'm ever going to say this uh what's he going to say psych no just joking uh well uh well now I feel bad uh that I was questioning him but should I be questioning him Nicole will you marry me yes yes yes yes I will I really will H poor Ben well Ben you really dropped the ball when it was in your court is that a mixed metaphor she laid it right over the plate and you didn't take a swing and then in the one-on-one interview you're like I think I'm falling in love and I said reaction uh he probably should have said that 5 minutes ago with Nicole so well my God but I am engaged he said all the right things I'm just going to have to trust [Music] that so that was edited funny it was clearly two different statements from two different times that's rewind not he said all the right things I'm just going to have to trust that I mean I don't know if you can hear it but I can clearly hear a different room that she's in the Reverb is completely different also when she says that first phrase he said all the right things she's about to say something else and they didn't edit it very well it's like said all the right things and then so I I I I'm going to assume that she did not say that right after the proposal the way that they're making it look but I don't know maybe she is having second thought they also change the the mood music to make it seem like she instantly had second thoughts which you know would be normal but uh yeah I mean I guess if you're Nicole you're going into that date thinking I I'm on the fence here I think he might not be the one for me he's faking you know and then all a sudden you're you leave the date engag you know that's a pretty big turnaround it's a tough it's a tough decision but I'm just going with what I feel instinctively right now um and I know it's complex of things and I'm sorry yeah this is the Dilemma of this show for some of these folks that it's too quick of a time you just don't know now you know she's got I think they have 2 months to take a test drive so there's that and she's about to say that but then you know if she passed up Ben but uh but that doesn't usually well I don't know sometimes you know if things don't work out with Sam some especially if the Ben of the world don't meet up with anyone else did Ben like anyone else um no he was he was all for Nial in terms of the edit so yeah yeah yeah yeah she says she has complex feelings yeah uh that would be normal but often on the show people are like I'm totally sure and this is awesome and d d d well and then you wonder about love bombing is kinds of behaviors where Sam is like I need to rush forward E so I guess but then you think well that's romantic that's what you do you run the rain you catch her as she's trying to get on the bus and you say you're my snuggle bun I'm writing a a script in my head and then she goes on and the music swells and then the end and you don't have to deal with the story where you actually start arguing all the time and experience each other's incompatibilities and and your schemas and your family traumas so wow Kirk what a romantic you are um so uh yeah yeah yeah I wonder what's going on with her right now you sometimes you have a lot of pain and you cry and it's not some indication of some dark thing but I wonder what what she's feeling what's what's what's what's being evoked for her the way it seemed well sometimes we can look at what caused the you know the tears to kind of burst forth let's re going with what I feel instinctively right now um and I know it's complex things and yeah she says it's complex that's what provoked it it's comp she feels complex cuz I think I think this is that I'm going to guess these tears seem similarly toned as when she was referring to her I believe her previous marriage in which she was alluding to having been betrayed one of the things that they do on the show which is annoying is I've heard from cast members and from my contact on the show that they get real deep and personal in the pods and talk extensively about past things and they hardly include any any of it like I learned that with Jeremy last season Jeremy and Laura I don't know I'm doing this but we uh I had heard from my contact on the show that Jeremy had in the pods told everybody in fact I think some of the other cast members said this that he had been married before right was that it some sort of past thing that they made it kind of look or maybe just inadvertent that he wasn't telling people about those kinds of things so I wish that they just would have included sometimes I wish this there's so much footage I wish that this show was double the length honestly and they could give us some of that stuff H but anyway I think that and rewatching this tear up tearing up scene I think that's what's happening for her she's she's like complex feelings and hurt of the previous relationship of being lied to and she wonders if she's being lied to again she also had that major question mark earlier this day which even though she wasn't sure could also provoke a lot of pain of just like it's happening again so but I don't know there seems to be something else here too some kind of defenselessness or locus of control thing where life is inevitably harmful to her or I just a stretch but some kind of thing like that I'm sorry you know what I mean it seems like she's already she's already written the story that she she are she is right now and and will be harmed and betrayed and then you wonder is it some sort of subconscious sabotage I I'm writing so so many stories in my head I have no idea all right so the rest of this video is just going to be for members of the YouTube channel so if you want to become a member click the join button below otherwise please take care of yourself because you deserve it you really really do