PSA - Daylight Savings [S14E20]

the following is a public service announcement Daylight Saving Time begins at 2: a.m. so don't forget to set your clock forward before heading off to bed tonight this change in time means that if you normally arrive for work at 8:30 on Monday you'd actually be getting there at 7:30 unless you forgot to change your clock and show up an hour late thinking it's 8:30 when it's actually 9:30 in which case your boss would probably be waiting for you at your desk cubicle at 9:30 wanting you to come and see him in his office at 9:31 but if you still forgot that the time had changed you'd probably show up for that 9:31 meeting at 10:31 that means that you'll think that the boss is reaming you from 10:31 to 10:37 for arriving at work at 9:30 instead of 8:30 when he'll actually be reaming you from 11:31 to 11:37 and when you tell him where to shove his clock at 10:38 it'll actually be 11:38 just 1 minute before he fires your ass at 11:39 so remember to set your clocks ahead [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] tonight [Music] [Music] [Applause] [Music] w [Applause] thank you thank you thank you yes got got got a very excit excited crowd here tonight a little ere excited that's okay right cuz it was kind of an overly exciting week the opening of baseball season this week yeah we had great we had a record crowd turned out to see the Mariners Randy was on the mound griffy gets a home run buer gets a home run Edgard Martinez we're up 9 to6 the tables set we're on the way three-run cushion and then in comes Bobby AA woo yeah the bullpen they're back and as they start giving up runs and The Crowd Goes oh oh but it's it's it's not it's not an angry sound it's more like oh it's happening it's happening again you know it's sort of like being a Mariners fan in that situation it's like letting your abusive boyfriend back into the relationship you know your friend is yeah you know your friends come over they say is he going to the meetings and he no but he's he's changed he says he's changed he says he's gonna work it out this day Bobby AA The Crowd Goes oh but yeah you can't help you know feel sorry for the guy imagine if people treated you like that in your job you know I'll be your waiter tonight my name is Bobby aa oh oh oh oh thank you for choosing United this is Captain Bobby a ah ah ah you know so you see that opening night game it's like the bullpen they're walking people they're giving up runs and you got this record crowd and they're just going I can't hear you I can't hear you you can't say you know you know it's like they it's just unbelievable they got you know they got the new Mariner bumper stickers remember the ones that said my oh my the new one is oh my God you oh oh my God but the fact is we're we are such horrible fans you know people were ready to write off the whole season before the first game was over you know let's dismantle the new stadium you know take it apart you know we're just we're not emotionally ready for a good team I mean I think we should just let be honest Seattle they secretly Seattle secretly Wishes the team was crappy again like it I mean like it always used to be you know it was something we could depend on you know it's like stop playing with our emotions you know you know and for the record I had he had a great night tonight you know and it's like so so maybe he has changed yeah you know see that there it is you know we we just wish the team well basically we're playing you know they're playing with us now we just for the record we had almost live We wish the team well we wish the bullpen Well for now and for whatever jobs they find themselves in in the future new jobs for notable people that's the service provided by almost Liv's newest sponsor hey everybody Remember Me David lero Diamond Dave lead singer in Van Halen ever wonder what happened to me and all the other cool rock and rollers from those 80s videos huh well you'll find most of us working at the 80s rockar T agency here at the the 80s Rockstar temp agency we're retraining yesterday's Rockstar to be today's temporary employee did your mail Mr Roth I'm great thank you wouldn't you really to hire me you take us back down the mail room boy D if you don't it's going to make me cry get your ass backed down to ma boy [Music] D remember Nina of 99 Loof balloons well she'd Loof to help you [Music] muin and who can forget the mindblowing Tony Basil who's now trained on both Lotus and Windows 95 software hey Billy you're so fine Bill Gates all work over time hey Billy hey Billy and if you've got letters to get out you need Divo [Music] I say type it type it good I say typ it typ it good and we've got lots more including heavy metal chance White Snake to help you move the furniture Robert Palmer will entertain the kids with his new act pal me the Addicted to Love clown and Human League can give you the human touch you need when they ask would you like fries with that call us today and we'll be working for you tomorrow and talking about tomorrow coming soon look for our new '90s Rockstar temp agency which has already signed up that guy hoodie from hoody in the blow for and don't forget them M delicious Spice Girls if you want to be our employer then give us a ring our 15es are over now it's time to clean so remember the next time you see Men at Work it just might really be men at work so call the Rockstar temp agency now and we'll jump for you yeah we'll jum for you all right stay with us we've got a great show and we're coming right [Applause] [Music] [Music] back [Music] [Applause] we would uh like to thank you all for coming to this press conference we in Boeing management want to clear up any recent misunderstandings there might be about quality control control our employee attitudes production problems and most of all about the safety of our product now as you know we recently fell behind in our delivery schedule the delays have cost us $2.6 billion and we posted the first annual loss in 50 years however I am pleased to report that last night our softball team beat the Eddie Bower team to take the league championship for the Third r i want to give a shout out to the balling Bobcats and I'll see at the ker down at the caveman tonight and we are now going to open the floor for questions there have been some disturbing reports about quality control in the assembly line for example the wrong Wings being put on a 737 okay now a lot has been made in the media about the wrong Wings being put on a plane you know like they never make mistakes you know they're always really quick to criticize when we get the wrong Wings on a plane but they never mention it when we get the right Wings on besides I've always felt that Wings have been overrated now the best wings in the world aren't going to help if the pilot doesn't know how to fly the plane no and you know something I would like to emphasize the point that our workers are encouraged to be very safety conscious I'd like to I'd like to bring out one of our finest mechanics Bill Doner who wants to read a statement Bill get up here go ahead nobody ever told me not to inspect the parts of the airplane and I am not being pressured in any way by the company to say that the company has not threatened to fire me nor have they called me into a dark store room with a lot of thugs and told me to read this or they'll fire me and after that they didn't call me at home either asking how would I like it if all of a sudden I didn't have a job to which I would have said but I didn't you mean you're going to fire me and then they never said you figur it out you moronic Grease Monkey okay Bill thank you I've got more fine am I fired all right let's let's just can we take some more questions here next question yeah why is the assembly line not able to keep up with the orders for the planes well we we've changed our production methods and it takes time to adjust now see this is what the assembly line used to look like that's in the old days and and uh it was this is what it looks like now as you can see we're a we're a leaner more efficient company I would I would like to get back to the wings is it true that you put laminated whale flippers on a 737 in place of wings no that is a mean-spirited exaggeration it was the right Wings someone just put them on wrong you know there's a lot of new people from McDonald Douglas and they get confused I'm from McDonald Douglas well I I didn't mean what did you mean all right I did it I put I put the wings on wrong I was angry about not getting my bonus I I just thought it would be funny do you still think it's funny yes look look look at it now look at it now you just tell me that's not funny you just tell me it's supposed to be funny you cannot tell me that that isn't that that it's funny he'll laugh he he he'll be okay he's all right like he said it was all just a joke and it's since been corrected but Boeing has never never put the wrong Wings on an airplane what about the picture in the paper of the 747 with the 5ft long Wings can we see that on the monitor uh that was an experimental plane we we called that the 747 stubby wing and did that ever fly um yes yes I mean no that's right it didn't fly but it wasn't just the wings wasn't there something else missing uh gee uh I'm going to say no uhhuh how about the engines oh yeah those well that's easy to explain that was a glider see the 747 stubby Wing glider and did it Glide yes I mean no not too well anyway it just kind of t taxied around the airport but we caught that right away do you have a plan to get things back on track it all comes down to the right man for the right job we have got the ball rolling now and I am pleased to announce we've just made a great addition to the Boeing team somebody is going to step up and finish the job our new head of production Bobby aella oh no I don't believe it [Music] [Applause] Studio amplification for almost life provided by American [Applause] [Music] [Applause] Music good evening this is the late report well a rubber tire fell off the downtown Seattle Montreal on Tuesday and struck a rental car driven by a man visiting from Scotland the good news the man was able to redeem the tire at Le Schwab for free beef well the castle sex Superstore chain has opened outlets in Tacoma and Silverdale and plans 10 more sex Superstores in the Puget Sound area Brian can we get a price check on the economy size pack of French ticklers thank you the Seattle City council is considering adding public toilets to the new bus shelters downtown council members say it's not so much for convenience as it is to get Riders used to that smell before they get on the bus Baby Boomers their years of drug and alcohol abuse behind them have been lining up to buy tickets to Yanni's tribute World Tour 1998 concert tomorrow at KY Arena says one happy ticket buyer it's the only concert I can go to and still wake up the next day remembering absolutely nothing Henry we need a clean up on the lubricant aisle darl Irvin president of the Seattle Seahawks Alumni Association was charged with assault and resisting arrest at a bar in Chalan even with the arrest Irvin still won this month's most well behaved paved Seahawk award well a Federal grand jury indicted six Washington State men for trafficking in illegally harvested gooey duck clams it's just like I predicted when gooey ducks are outlawed only Outlaws will have gooey Ducks attention Castle Superstore Shoppers we have a special on gooey Ducks Isle five the US Department of energy will impose one of the largest fines in the history of the nuclear safety program against the main contractor at Hanford for violations including leaving an open unlatched wagon loaded with plutonium sitting unattended in a corridor energy officials say what really made it bad was the handlettered sign saying free plutonium and now with a commentary is our own Pat Cashman P John thank you that's very nice thank you did did you follow the Washington State Legislature much this year John I you know I have to say I didn't I I didn't follow the legislature too closely myself because of the restraining order but but when the legislature adjourned a couple of weeks ago among the bills they sent to the governor's desk was one that would require da Farmers to keep cow manure out of rivers and streams what an excellent idea but the word manure was substituted in the bill with the euphemism nutrient so cows apparently no longer make what they used to they make nutrient pies now I think the idea behind the word change according to legislators anyway was that if Farmers would start thinking of manure as fertilizer and not waste they might be a little more careful about what they do with it well I think the new bill is a wonderful idea but I think that that new word should not only only be applied to the dairy industry but indeed to our everyday conversation because substituting nutrient for that offensive four-letter word commonly used as a crude term for excrement and I think you know the one I mean would be a welcome change in our daily discourse for example next time you hit your thumb with a hammer would it be so hard to cry out all nutrient my thumb or or when you're skiing out of control how about yelling holy nutrient I'm going to hit that tree and it would certainly sound a lot classier to point out to a friend excuse me Marvin I believe you have nutrient on your shoe from now on when some nutrient head Cuts you off in traffic instead of instead of giving him a nutrient look just roll down your window and say hey watch where you're going nutrient for brains or or when some nutrient heel in the office is spreading a bunch of bull nutrient round about you call him on it by saying hey you chicken nutrient cut the nutrient and wipe that nutrient eating grin off your face too you dip nutrient all I'm saying all I'm saying is let us begin today to make nutrient our new preferred word for organic waste it will make even a nutrient day seem better and that's no nutrient well thanks I mean you want you want to go get nutrient B after the I okay what John ah you want to go get that was great by the way thank you how how'd you like to go get nutrient faced after the show oh good scre on jeez did that was a pretty nutrient segue wasn't it anyway finally some rare ceramic sculptures created by the great 20th century artist Pablo Picasso going to be exhibited in September at the art museum in Tacoma the exhibit fulfills Picasso's deathbed wish of someday having his art on display in Tacoma this has been the late report thank you and we'll be right [Music] back that's it don't forget to set your clocks ahead and we'll see you next week [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] byebye [Music] [Applause] w