Browse Transcripts

Category: Comedy

Please welcome sasheer zamata. [applause] n/a n/a n/a sasheer. - jordan. oh my gosh. - oh my gosh. - oh my gosh. oh my gosh. i see this-- is it witch season already? it's been witch season. it's spooky time. it is. it comes earlier every year. is that because of, like, dark magic? - money. - it's money.... Read more

Category: Comedy

Yo, yo, yo, yo, what's up, everybody? [cheering, applause] it's john leguizamo here. look, in two short months, america is going to be deciding whether to let kamala harris, its first woman, or donald trump, its grossest man. and i'm here because you know how every time they say that a bell rings an... Read more

Category: Comedy

Economy do you believe americans are better off than they were four years ago imagine and have actually a plan to build what i call an opportunity economy my plan is to give a $50,000 tax deduction to startup small businesses i intend on extending a tax cut for those families of $6,000 holy we're one... Read more

Category: People & Blogs

The daily show debate wrap up a hilarious take on the political circus welcome to the daily show john stewart with his signature wit delivers a comedic analysis of the second presidential debate in a way only he can john begins by humorously emphasizing that while this may be the second debate it feels... Read more

Category: Comedy

[theme music] we just witnessed a debate between president joseph robinette biden versus former president donald robinette trump. [laughter] it was a highly anticipated affair, according to the network that was running it. the first biden trump debate a little over one month away right here on cnn.... Read more

Category: Sports

None the trump campaign is facing a new wave of criticism efforts to control the former president's inflammatory remarks about immigrants have hit a wall despite numerous attempts at damage control trump's rhetoric continues to spark outrage in recent days his statements have been labeled as terrible... Read more

Category: Comedy

I knew there would be some wu-tang apparel when you walked out there. well, after you sung the praises of wu-tang at your chicago convention show. you saw that? yeah, of course i did. you talked about how that era, 1991-1995, four best years in american history. i agreed. - you agree, right? - i agreed.... Read more

Category: Entertainment

Caitlin clarks nonbasketball exhibition prompts boyfriend connor mccaffery to reaveal an untold secret Read more

Category: Entertainment

Dave portnoy slams bizarre caitlin clark offensive foul after chelsea gray s flop in fever loss to aces Read more

Category: Entertainment

Kelly stafford lost who was when giving in to social media pressure Read more

Category: Comedy

So a storied career. you're one of the first employees at microsoft. you become a ceo of microsoft. you own the los angeles clippers. you have this dream life that, as a kid, you probably never even thought those were the heights that you might be able to attain. and in that moment, you turn your attention... Read more

Category: Comedy

Welcome to the daily show. i am jordan klepper. we got so much to talk about tonight. kamala and trump prepare for tomorrow night's debate. we hunt down the person who's sending you all those campaign emails. and dick cheney is once again taking shots at his republican friends. so, let's get into our... Read more

Category: News & Politics

[music] disgrace former fashion mogul peter nyard has been sentenced to 11 years in prison following his sexual assault convictions good afternoon the 83-year-old was convicted on four charges last november however his sentencing was delayed several times with issues such as retaining legal counsel... Read more

Category: Comedy

Please welcome hannah berner. [cheering, applause] n/a n/a i mean, look, this is amazing. this is-- you're so daily show. i tried to match the energy. yeah. [laughs] [cheering, applause] that's great. that's great. congrats on your special. - thank you. it's doing great. its very funny. i feel like... Read more

Category: Comedy

- [questioner] what are your thoughts on the tennis in "challengers"? - oh, great. you have an opinion on this. you mean the movie "challengers"? yeah. - i've talked so much shit about this movie. and i support women in the arts. zendaya is like my favorite. i love that they put a woman in sports. it's... Read more

Category: Entertainment

Brian kelly believes lsu football played fatigued in win over nicholls state Read more

Category: News & Politics

A [music] [music] get [music] your moralist we'll see who [music] oh [music] come on man you you live sexual this is the troll why with justin freaking f the tr patrol live i'm i'm i'm not high enough is there an echo i thought i was hearing an echo i thought i had another window open i think it's good... Read more

Category: Entertainment

Caitlyn clark gets second career triple double as fever top sparks indianapolis indiana fever coach christy sides hailed the growth of caitlyn clark saying she was really proud of her as the guard registered her second career triple double on september 4th making her the first rookie to record two or... Read more

Category: Entertainment

The bachelor's maria georgas opens up about dating one of drake's closest friends! Read more

Category: Comedy

Nasa has to like rely on their enemy to help the astronauts get down they do they have to work with elon musk which cannot be assuring for those astronauts you talking to a nasa scientist they're like don't worry don't worry we got everything under control we're sending in an autistic racist everything... Read more