Browse Transcripts

Category: Comedy

-finally, guys, it's monday. it's time for "wepost." here we go. -whoa! -♪ wepost ♪ ♪♪ ♪ wepost ♪ -welcome to "wepost." this is where we, as a group, decide something we should post on socials. i'm gonna show you five different posts, and we're all gonna vote on whether you like each one or not. and... Read more

Category: Comedy

-guys, just a quick mention that this friday is the golf matchup everyone is talking about. it will be settled once and for all. that's right, i'm talking about the cardigan classic i challenged... [ applause ] i challenged dj khaled to a golf match. he looks like a fun guy to play with and he's really... Read more

Category: Comedy

-i'm sorry if i -- if i seem a little distracted. i'm still thinking about this nightmare i had last night. or should i say my tonightmare? [ thunder crashes, woman screams ] i was alone, lost in the middle of a corn maze. it was getting dark, and i couldn't find my way out. ♪♪ i started to panic. i... Read more

Category: Comedy

-performing "flea" from her new album, "all born screaming," give it up for st. vincent! [ cheers and applause ] -♪ i'm just like a hungry little flea ♪ ♪♪ ♪ jumping on somebody's warm body ♪ ♪ when you start to itch and scratch and scream ♪ ♪ once i'm in, you can't get rid of me ♪ ♪ once i'm in, you... Read more

Category: Comedy

[ cheers and applause ] ♪♪ ♪♪ -♪ don't blink, don't wait, don't walk, you're late ♪ ♪ don't fall from grace, behave, don't trip, sashay ♪ ♪ okay, sashay ♪ ♪ don't kid, don't blame, don't snap, insane ♪ ♪ don't crack, don't act your age, don't change your name ♪ ♪ it's all the rage ♪ ♪ do ask, but don't... Read more

Category: Comedy

-you look fantastic. thanks so much for being here. -thanks. i'm so happy to be here. -i haven't see you in a while. and i said, "how was your summer?" and you told me you had a brat summer. -well, duh. -what do you mean "well, duh"? -didn't everyone have a brat summer? -yeah, i mean... [ cheers and... Read more

Category: Comedy

-enjoy yourself. enjoy yourself. welcome, everybody. welcome to "the tonight show"! you're here. you made it. [ cheers and applause ] thank you for watching. well, guys, tomorrow, in philadelphia is the big presidential debate between vice president harris and former president trump. which, of course,... Read more

Category: Comedy

[ knock on door ] -hey, demi. -hey, jimmy. -i'm so happy you're here. thanks so much for being on the show. you look fantastic! -well, yes. i mean, you see how i dress to appear on "the tonight show"? very demi moore, very mindful. i mean, i don't come to "the tonight show" with a green-cut crease.... Read more

Category: Comedy

-welcome back to "the tonight show." we're about to play a game called box of lies, but i'm gonna need some help. she's a very talented actor you can see in the new movie "the substance," which is in theaters nationwide on september 20th. please welcome demi moore! [ cheers and applause ] welcome, welcome,... Read more

Category: Comedy

-thank you so much and welcome back to the show. thanks for coming on our show. look at you here on the cover of "variety." [ cheers and applause ] they're calling this the year of the -- the demissance. -wow. doesn't that sound like a party that we should go to? -yeah, we should go to the demissance.... Read more

Category: News & Politics

M d for tuesday 3rd september in 2024 tonight estimated mega million st buties $681 million with a cash of [music] $336.14 there were two winners match four plus mega b there were 50 winners match four there 1,15 win sing in $500 m 3 plus me there $2,996 $200 tonight start at 11: p.m. you can do the... Read more

Category: News & Politics

Me millions st results for friday 6th september in 2024 today me millions winning numbers first number is number 41 second number is number 59 third number is number six next number 63 then number 23 tonight mega b is number 25 to Read more

Category: News & Politics

[music] mega million dring for friday 6 september 2024 to right estimated mega million check butties $740 million with a cash allow of$ 366.50 million let's take a look at the price breakr from the last ring that were no jackpot winners match five there were two winners match 4 plus mega b there were... Read more

Category: Entertainment

A new video with jeremy allen white as part of a collaboration with calvin klein but i think i could love [music] her crimson and [music] clover here she comes walking up i've been waiting to show [music] her crimson and [music] cl over and over [music] Read more

Category: Sports

Jackson nl rookie of the month. you might be the nl rookie of the year. how have you been able to have that confidence and poise as a rookie? you just turned 21. how has it been possible for you here in the majors? just play baseball, play baseball? like i'm still a young kid, like a little teenager.... Read more

Category: News & Politics

Thank you very much. that's a very warm welcome. you know, president trump. understands that the world is dangerous. and then it takes an enormous effort. to defeat anti-american and anti-freedom forces around the world. he also understands that when faced with multiple adversaries across the globe.... Read more

Category: Comedy

-paris hilton, welcome back to the show. you look fantastic, as always. the album is out officially at midnight. right now, it's out. [ cheers and applause ] "infinite icon." pink vinyl. how rad is this? -so sick. -it is sick. -iconic. -how are you? how is the family, by the way? -the family is doing... Read more

Category: Sports

Bryce harper is one of the great faces of our sport. uh but there are moments where he can go through some mighty slumps. he's four for his last seven. it's good to see him get going at the end of the weekend for that. over 24. did he look lost to you? no, ii, i think it's um one of the things, he's... Read more

Category: Sports

We witnessed the 18th no hitter in cubs franchise history, the first at wrigley in september in 72. who was it? pets? oh, yeah, i fourth of this season alone, the year of shoda and mana damn police that continues when i watch him, you know, this more than me, i feel like he is the perfect robert side... Read more

Category: Sports

Raise your hand if you were up for the matt chapman announcement. congratulations. i was not woke up this morning. congratulations. are in order for, as you call him, the always intense that chapman and the giants agreeing to a six year $151 million deal that keeps the four time gold glove winner in... Read more