S4 E27, Equifax And Iran Nuclear Deal, Last Week Tonight with John Oliver Full 8/25

hi there welcome to the show still taking place in this blank void which fun fact is actually just a zoomed in picture of this I voted sticker which is great unfortunately that sticker is attached to James Woods which is very much not and obviously we're going to start with our main story tonight which is the 2020 election or as it's known for horses just another week look at them they've got no clue hot idiots this was clearly a very long very tense week although thankfully it all felt worth it due to how it ended CNN projects Joseph R Biden Jr is elected the 46th president of the United States winning the White House and denying president Trump a second term yeah that definitely happened Trump isn't going to be president anymore something I personally learned from no less than 20 text messages from my friends and family all saying it's over which in this situation was welcome but on any any regular day would terrify the living [ __ ] out of me as we are taping this on Saturday people across America are still taking to the streets to celebrate not just that Biden and Harris were elected but you sensed mainly that a certain someone was about to get evicted from the White House [Applause] [Music] he you know what that person screaming [ __ ] Donald Trump from the back of a moving scooter actually sums up pretty nicely how a lot of people feel right now and I've got to tell you it was like that all day here in New York there was a mood here that can only be described as a reverse 911 why cuz it combined complete Euphoria and abiding disgust for Rudy Giuliani and this time people were actually dancing on the rooftops in New Jersey it was a really good day never forget it is genuinely hard to overstate the level of relief that has been flying around parts of this country especially at the end of a truly draining week and tonight we thought it might be worth mapping out exactly how we got to this point over the last seven days because at the start of this week we all knew that due to the pandemic this election was going to be different crucially that it was going to require more patience than usual yet for some reason as soon as Tuesday came around everyone seemed to immediately forget that because starting that evening almost every news channel was overtaken by some version of a guy playing with a big screen while someone comes in to interrupt and pester them with questions it was basically the equivalent of watching the security footage at a Best Buy for four straight days and while news outlets tried their best to be patient as things dragged on it was clear they just couldn't do it something perhaps best some up by this exchange between Don Lemon and a Philadelphia City Commissioner so how long do you think it's going to take to count all the votes commissioner you know it's it's interesting hearing reporters talk about listen everybody this is going to take some time and then the polls close and then it's why don't you have the results yet so everyone needs to recalibrate their expectations difference between it's nothing personal so let me let me ask this then speaking of that was a good answer but are you talking hours are you talking days he doesn't [ __ ] know lemon leave the man alone at that point it would have been just as productive to ask him when will Penguins learn how to fly or when is Michael Keaton going to win an Oscar or what does the rest of the Pringle guy's body look like is he tall or short does he have a lot of body hair or is he completely smooth when will he be able to tell me what his nipples look like are you talking hours or are you talking days what was all Al entirely predictable was how Trump was going to react as the count slowly unfolded because long before the results were in he took advantage of the fact that he was ahead in some States to declare a premature and completely unfounded victory at 2:30 a.m. on Wednesday he delivered this nightmarish speech from the White House this is a fraud on the American public this is an embarrassment to our country we were getting ready to win this election frankly we did win this election win this so we'll be going to the US Supreme Court we want all voting to stop we don't want them to find any ballots at 4:00 in the morning and add them to the list okay uh no it's not okay it's not okay at all for a start you can't just threaten to go to the Supreme Court when things aren't going your way it's the highest court in the land not the Middle School principal's office and second they weren't finding ballots they were counting them and Counting and finding are just not the same thing that's why the movie Finding Nemo wasn't called Counting Nemo cuz that would have been a very different and much shorter movie One Nemo the end unfortunately that press conference set the tone for the rest of the week with the soon to be former president and his Camp doing absolutely everything they could think of to subvert this election on Wednesday after the count in Michigan began to favor Biden Trump tweeted out we hereby claim the state of Michigan which is clearly not how it works calling dibs on States is not how we elect presidents we use the Electoral College which is at least 3% less stupid than that the very same day the president's personal lawyer and recent Star of the Borat movie Rudy Giuliani arrived in Pennsylvania to try and stop them from counting the votes that was still remaining which stood at nearly a million that morning most from heavily Democratic areas and he did so with this impassioned speech how many votes do we have to be ahead 400,000 is not enough with 80 plus% counted I think there's only 14% of the vote to go do you think we're stupid you think we're fools yeah yeah we do yeah and uh actually this is a bit awkward now because we had space for a joke here but that took no time at all so tell you what instead let's look at this raccoon shaped cookie jar with a raccoon in it did you eat all the cookies I bet you did those cookies have gone from being inside one raccoon to being inside another what an absolute Delight anyway juliani's press conference was truly unhinged with him throwing around wild accusations with absolutely no evidence and perhaps the best response to it came from John fetman Pennsylvania's lieutenant governor to come in and stand on on on on a street corner in Philadelphia say we won Pennsylvania it's like you know like like LOL I mean like you know like it's just bizarre I mean it's it's like a a bad a bad House of Cards yeah he's right lieutenant governor stone cold is absolutely right because this is like house of cards in that it's full of political Intrigue there's a sexual predator pretending to be president at the very heart of it and it's gone on for at least four seasons too long and for what it's worth the Trump camps protests were consistently inconsistent in their messaging primarily because early on in some states Trump looked like he was ahead while in others he looked like he was behind which meant that in Michigan where he led early on his supporters showed up at a Detroit ballot counting site to chant this count stop the count stop the count okay right but in Arizona where Trump seemed to be behind his supporters chanted this Now setting aside the absurdity of two groups on the same side shouting completely opposite instructions it is worth taking a minute on just how weird it is that one of those instructions is count the votes because they were that's exactly what the ballot counters were doing it' be like a dad chanting at his teenage son's bedroom door beat that meat beat that meat he is he's doing it you really don't need to cheer him on in fact all you're doing is making it way harder for him to finish and unfortunately the information vacuum that formed in those three days provided ample space for Trump and his supporters to just throw complete [ __ ] around at one point Trump's Twitter timeline looked like this with a whole run of tweets flagged as disputed or misleading meanwhile Giuliani was tweeting out this article and implying 21,000 dead people had voted in Pennsylvania which they hadn't also rumors were flying around that Trump ballots were being disqualified in Arizona because because Sharpies had been used to fill them out which was false and Eric Trump tweeted out a fake video of ballots in Virginia Beach being burned a video that the city itself had debunked a day before he tweeted it and that is really a shame because normally the Trump sons are so good at getting to the truth you know like the time that they solved the mystery of can a beard actually make someone look more like a child the answer turned out to be a resounding yes good work gum shoes but conspiracy theorizing Ran So rampant this week that during a press briefing from a Nevada voting registar this happened B cry family still on the election the media is covering up the bid cry family Ste on this election the media is covering up the bid cry family Ste this election the media is covered up we want our freedom for the world give us our freedom Joe Biden you B is covering up this election he's stealing it where were we what was the last question okay there is so much to deal with there there is the Arctic cool displayed by that registar while he was being interrupted by a walking internet comment then there was that man's shirt featuring what I assume were his three favorite things which I'm legitimately jealous of because now I want a tank top with my three favorite things on it specifically oversight fo requests and hamsters in Speedos now that is a shirt but I think my favorite thing is just how painfully clear it is there that that guy was expecting to get dragged away and was then completely stuck when it didn't happen the Bing crime family is stealing our freedom the B crime family is still really guys nothing no one's going to escort me out of here cuz honestly I was really counting on someone tossing me in a car and taking me away I don't actually have a ride home otherwise all right you know I guess I'll walk have a good day everyone petza gate was a 911 or whatever and in the midst of all of this the Trump campaign was loudly announcing that it was filing multiple lawsuits in multiple states trying to cast a cloud over the whole process but it is important to know just how ridiculous those lawsuits were and still are one case in Georgia centered on a poll Watcher who left the room and thought that a stack of 53 ballots that may or may not have arrived late might or might not have been counted while they away although the pole Watcher could not say for sure because again he had left the room that particular case was dismissed by a judge because and I quote the court finds that there is no evidence meanwhile in Michigan the Trump campaign requested the absentee ballots stopped being counted after and this is key the counting had essentially been finished in the state that suit relied on one pole Watcher having heard a rumor from someone else that some late ballots were being counted and when the judge pointed out that that was total hearsay the Trump campaign's lawyer tried to wle out of it before being slapped down hard this is a firsthand factual ual statement made by uh Miss Conan and she has made that statement based on her own firsthand physical evidence and knowledge I heard somebody else say something tell me why that's not here to say come on now yeah come on now and look I'm no legal expert but I am pretty sure it's not a great sign for your case when a judge gives you the judicial equivalent of [ __ ] out of here now one big Trump complaint that he is making a lot right now so you will probably be hearing it for the rest of your life is that the election is illegitimate because Republican pole Watchers weren't given access to the ballot counting in Pennsylvania he actually tweeted on Saturday bad things happened which our observers were not allowed to see which is a tough charge to make stick Because by the nature of the accusation you didn't see them but the claim was actually even more meritless than it appears which of all networks Fox News pointed out the Trump campaign has said that they wanted to have their um their pole Watchers there and that I guess they're being asked to provide evidence for something that they say they weren't able to even participate in or to be able to see and so that's I think where they would say that needs to be rectified if it could be that's not true it's not true it's just not true the claim from the Trump campaign and the president about that is not true it is false in fact the lawyers for the Trump campaign last night in federal court uh admitted that he's right they admitted it specifically the judge asked are people representing Donald J Trump in that room to which the campaign lawyer said yes and the judge replied I'm sorry then what's your problem making this officially the single sassiest week in the history of the Judiciary they must have traded in their gavels for umbrellas because these jurists are throwing some shade and the embarrassing flimsiness of these fraud claims starts to make sense when you see just how desperately the Trump Camp was trying to drum them up take Arizona they announced at a press conference on Thursday that they had gathered concerns by thousands of people about voting irregularities which on his face sounds dramatic but it's also a little at odds with this moment captured just minutes earlier hi everyone if anyone has any personal example of where they've witnessed election fraud here in Arizona please come see me I need I need a concrete example I need someone to talk to right over there in the corner thank you okay that is just pathetic although I do like the idea that someone who actually witnessed election fraud and had proof was waiting until that glorified block party to tell anyone about it yeah I saw a guy in a ski mask pulling fake ballots out of his Kia fesa but it honestly didn't occur to me to tell anyone about it until a representative from the law firm hangover hangover div divorce and meat sweats told me to meet him over there in the corner I'm so glad I was wandering by but wait that's not all the Trump campaign also set up this website and phone number where they invited people to submit evidence of voter fraud meaning if you say wanted to supply them with an incident that you found suspicious you could do that you still can actually you can simply go to this address and send them whatever evidence you want there's even an option to add photographic proof and quick fun fact here don't know why I'm even mentioned this a political term of art for election Shenanigans is rat [ __ ] so if you say happen to have any access to images of Pennsylvania based rat [ __ ] it's frankly your patriotic duty to send them to the Trump campaign straight away and all these pointless lawsuits are clearly going to cost a lot of money which is probably why the campaign has spent the last few days frantically trying to fund raise for them emailing supporters in an increasingly aggressive manner with one message reading this is your final notice so far you've ignored all our emails asking you to join us in defending the election you've ignored team Trump Eric Lara Don the vice president and you've even ignored the president of the United States and final notice for what exactly to not give them money maybe it's the last chance to go to the official Donald J Trump site and by this dog leash featuring a dog who I can only assume was lobotomized and given rabies immediately before having this picture taken also quick side note about those solicitations in the fine print it mentions that rather than funding lawsuits half of any contribution will be used to retire debt from Trump's re-election Campaign which is both completely unsurprising and also not even the worst thing he's ever asked his supporters to do because that would obviously be when he made them watch him do this dance which looks like he's milking two cows at once and enjoying it sexually very much indeed but perhaps the single most pathetic part of this entire week was that in the moments before this race was called on Saturday morning Trump tweeted out I won this election by a lot or caps exclamation mark and if that wasn't a bad enough case of denial this is how some of his supporters responded to news of his defeat the champion we are the champion for losers We Are the Champion look I would love to make fun of that but unfortunately I have no time for losers but here is the really important thing after this absolute year of a week the days of counting the misinformation the desperate pathetic attempts to paint this process as fraudulent the fact is Trump lost this election he lost all that [ __ ] which we've grown accustomed to seeing work did not work this time and it's not like Trump and his family are going to stop they're going to carry on grifting and lying like they've always done but once he's out of the White House it's just not going to have the same effect anymore it's not going to directly impact every American's life and that alone is [ __ ] fantastic and look by temperament I'm inclined to overanalyze everything and I can already feel myself starting to do it I'm starting to focus on the negatives here and be cynical about what a Biden presidency could or is even going to try to achieve but before we get into anything negative at all let me just give us all a quick moment with no caveats of celebration in fact let's put 30 seconds on the clock right now during which time everyone could just experience joy in whatever form you want dancing screaming banging a frying pan it is really up to you personally I'm going to do one of my favorite activities which is dispensing excellent facts about octopuses over footage of people celebrating this election ready go octopuses are great they have three hearts blue blood they can taste with their arms their brains are spread throughout their body they can change shape and color they have beaks they can open bottles they they remember faces and they hold grudges one time an octopus escaped a New Zealand aquarium by crawling down a drain pipe into the ocean also there was an experiment a few years back where scientists gave octopuses ecstasy and they learned that if octopuses take ecstasy they'll hang out and party with other octopuses but if you don't do that they prefer to keep themselves to themselves that's from a real study isn't it great I'm not saying I want to [ __ ] an octopus but you know what I kind of wanted oh that's it that's it that's it that that was time that was uncomplicated fun so given we just did that if you don't mind I am going to overanalyze this election just a little bit not much though mainly because it is still too early to draw any big conclusions there are two key things that we know though the great news is that this election had record-breaking turnout and over 74 million people chose to kick Donald Trump out of office the less good news is that more than 70 million people voted for him and everything he said and stands for and that is something that we are going to have to reckon with for the foreseeable future and I know that Biden has repeatedly said on the campaign trail that the ugliness Trump represents is simply not who we are he did it constantly in moments like this the can tear America AP is America itself and that's exactly what Trump's been trying to do from the very beginning dividing America based on race religion gender national origin it's wrong it's not who we are this is not who we are everybody knows who Donald Trump is let's keep showing them who we are look that is a really nice sentiment but dividing America based on race religion gender and national origin has frequently been very much who we are in fact you could well argue that in the history of America the one- sentence version of Trump's presidency is he kept showing them who we are so we cannot and should not ignore that Millions voted for Trump meaning they either actively supported his bigotry or at the very least were comfortable enough with it to vote for him anyway which isn't great it's like if your grandma was dating two old guys both of whom had fought in World War II and in the end she picks Pete who seems decent and works at the library and you're really happy for her but at the same time you are wondering how the [ __ ] she got so far with K clouse because that doesn't really reflect that well on her and even in the joy and relief at the end of this week it does feel worth remembering just how scary it felt as it was unfolding with Trump supporters swarming and following a Biden Harris bus in Texas and that moment in Detroit that we saw earlier where a largely white crowd showed up in a city that is 80% black to shout that they should stop counting their votes and if you don't understand how those images rhyme with history it might be because you're just not used to seeing them in color because the last four years were not about just one man and this isn't just about the last four years and even that one man is by no means going away whatever happens Donald Trump is the current and future leader of the Republican Party certainly at least in until someone else comes along with his stamina Charisma and drive putting aside the wildly Divergent definitions we have of stamina Charisma and drive that get out Garden Party guest is right when she said that Donald Trump is here to stay although not in office however hard he resists going as a Biden campaign spokesperson told the press this week the United States government is perfectly capable of escorting trespassers out of the White House which is just a nice sentence to hear and there is going to be time to talk about what trumpism is going to mean going forward just as there's going to be time to talk about what this week means for the Democratic party which didn't get everything they hoped for they lost seats in the house and the question of whether or not they'll have a senate majority is down to two runoff elections in Georgia in January but the real takeaway of this election might be that there is no easy answer to the question of who we are a perfect example is this kamla Harris is now going to be vice president the first woman vice president the first South Asian-American vice president the first black vice president and the second black person we've sent to the White House in the last 12 years that's incredible unfortunately we did elect a white supremacist in between them and the fact is that all of that together is kind of who we are with the country that did all those things and it's important not to deny that reality and just a final quick Point here defeating Trump took a lot of work much of it by activist groups led by those with the most to lose from a second Trump term a big factor in the vot in Arizona was indigenous and Latino people coming out for Biden and in Pennsylvania Michigan and Georgia black voters were absolutely key with the groups organizing that vote particularly black women working relentlessly for years and the days and the weeks ahead there's likely to be a lot of talk from white people about how black and brown voters saved us which does kind of miss the point a little bit because they weren't so much voting as a favor for white people so much as voting to protect themselves and their communities from someone trying to do them active harm although there are some lessons in some of that organizing in Georgia Stacy Abrams along with many others helped to register hundreds of thousands of new voters over the past two years half of them people of color and turn them out to the polls in fact just before the presidential race was called she was already tweeting out details about the January 5th runoff for Senate and making sure that people request their ballots why because she knows what she's [ __ ] doing and and if the Democrats are smart which they are not always they should listen to her and activists like her going forward look it is going to be a long road to dig us out of the place that the last four years have put us in but that is why it might be so important to remember the moments of Triumph that this week has managed to provide Richie Torres and Mond Jones became the first gay black men elected to congress Cory Bush a black lives matter activist is Missouri's first first black congresswoman in Delaware Sarah McBride became the country's first openly transgender state senator multiple counties elected reform-minded prosecutors and sheriffs Florida voted to increase the minimum wage and every state that had a marijuana initiative on the ballot approved it and most importantly despite his lies his obstructions and his depressingly popular racism this guy [ __ ] lost do you realize what that means one he's sad right now which is great but also no more Steven Miller at the White House no more Steve minuchin hate to see him go love to watch him walk away no more helicopter shouting time I'm not going to miss that no more Mike Pence or Betsy DeVos or Jared no more [ __ ] Jared and there'll be big systemic institutional problems we need to talk about in the months and the years to come and we will because for some reason this is the life I've chosen but for now after what's just happened I frankly think that we' have all earned the right to put on our masks go outside and party like octopuses on [ __ ] ecstasy hi there welcome to the show still coming to you from this blank void which I don't think is Purgatory but I can't prove otherwise and we're going to jump straight in with our main story this week which unfortunately for the second week in a row concerns the election we just had and believe me I'm just as disappointed as you about that I would much rather spend tonight talking about this rare Turtle found in West Bengal look how yellow it is it looks like it got into some trouble with the turtle Mafia and is now trying to disguise itself as a peanut &em he looks like he went to a costume party dressed as the less healthy part of the egg according to experts the rare color of the turtle is attributed to the deficiency of pigment called tyrosine but according to me you can go ahead and drop that little factoid did a file labeled who gives a [ __ ] because look how [ __ ] yellow that turtle is we could have done this whole show about this shiny cheddar chees mistake but instead we have to talk about this [ __ ] because in normal times the loser of a presidential election would simply acknowledge that they lost and the country would get to move on but as of our taping on Saturday a full week after the election was called Trump is still refusing to concede and while that is not remotely surprising what has been disappointing has been [ __ ] like this Secretary of State Mike Pompeo sent shock waves when he appeared to dismiss the election results there will be a smooth transition to a second Trump Administration all right we're ready what the [ __ ] are you talking about you business Grimace you're the Secretary of State you're supposed to forcefully denounce coups and look the other way if the CIA does one in Central or South America that is literally your whole job and while some have suggested that Pompeo was joking there he also hasn't yet acknowledged that Biden is president-elect nor have most Republicans Mitch McConnell not only claimed Trump is 100% within his rights to challenge the election results he went on to say this let's not have any lectures no lectures about how the President should immediately cheerfully accept preliminary election results from the same characters who just spent 4 years refusing to accept the validity of the last election okay first no one expected Trump to immediately cheerfully accept the results he's incapable of cheerfully accepting anything apart from [ __ ] Nazi endorsements and the opportunity to scream inside a stranger's truck whose truck is that I'll tell you who definitely doesn't care this guy it's his truck now honk honk and second while there were some on the left in 200 16 who urged fighting the results Hillary formerly conceded the day after the election and Obama had Trump in the White House the day after that and yet Republicans are trying to defend their support for Trump's indefensible Behavior with one senior official saying what is the downside of humoring him for this little bit of time a question that never ends well whether the ones asking it are overworked parents who need a break or the viar Republic so tonight let's look at just how weak Trump's case for overturning this election is and what real harm humoring him will do and let's start with the case itself because there are lots of accusations and lawsuits flying around right now and if you're a casual viewer of right-wing media you might think well there must be something here they wouldn't be going to all this trouble over nothing but the thing is they are this really is nothing and let's start with the frequently made Claim about dead voters if your uncle is a nightmare and you're still friends on Facebook you might have seen this post claiming there was a list of 14,000 dead people who who voted in Michigan but when CNN picked out 50 of those names to do a spot check they discovered 37 were dead and hadn't cast votes five had voted but were still alive and eight were alive but hadn't voted meaning exactly zero were dead people who voted and yes that is just a sample but if you were at an Oreo Factory and 50 out of 50 Oreos you picked off the line were just two rats squished around a used condom you might well not risk trusting the next cookie that comes past you the claim of dead people voting was also Advanced by Tucker Carlson an 80 ski bully who just lost the big race and he went in big on one example in particular in some ways it's an inspiring story the Triumph of voting over death and no one quite embodies that story like James balock of Covington Georgia Mr Block was a mailman for 33 years until he passed away in 2006 14 years later according to State records he was still mailing things James block cast a ballot in last week's election how did he do that oh that's an excellent question you waiter's nightmare now that segment got picked up and circulated by among others Matt Gates and the Trump campaign itself and it does make you wonder how did that dead man vote maybe his widow has an answer he didn't vote it was you it was me Agnes block voted using her married name Newton County confirmed her voter registration was signed as Mrs James block Jr and that's exactly how she signed her name when she voted in the November 3rd general election who did you vote for her you don't have to share that I voted for the Democrats for Biden I see and so I guess I voted against the other one really okay so the claim was [ __ ] he didn't vote she did and by the way not so much for Biden as against the other one meaning that this 96 year-old's approach to the election was pretty much the same as that of 20-year-old aggressives I wonder what else they have in common does she also have a collection of dank memes and spend 5 hours a day calling Bill DeBlasio a [ __ ] on Twitter I really hope so then there were claims from numerous supposed whistleblowers in fact Lindsey Graham Leslie Jordan's absolute worst character sent a letter to the doj asking them to investigate particular claims by a postal worker in Erie Pennsylvania who said in an affidavit that he'd heard postmarks were being backdated on mailin ballots to make it appear as though they'd been collected on Election Day but unfortunately for Graham that man later recanted those claims in his affidavit when talking to investigators and while he is now insisting that he stands by his initial statements the really important thing to know is the total number of ballots from his post office that were postmarked November 3rd and delivered to the Board of Elections later so the maximum number that could have had their date changed was two which is and this is true not the number of votes Joe Biden won Pennsylvania by but perhaps the strangest whistleblower accusation involved a poll worker in in Nevada who Fox gave a prime time slot to make her claims I went out to go for a walk on my break and I probably had a 150 175t stretch where I was walking oh sorry I really should have mentioned they disguised her identity by making her sound like Megan malali undergoing an exorcism but I'll I'll let her continue basically she claims she saw a Biden Harris campaign van outside the polling place with people handling white envelopes go as I got close the envelopes were being torn open there were two men or two people dropping the envelopes and two people ripping them open and turning and facing the van and drawing on them or marking them and as I walked by I looked and I thought those are ballads okay I'm just going to say it that is either total [ __ ] or the dumbest scheme of all time the Biden Harris campaign opened envelopes and marked ballots in the parking lot of a polling place in broad daylight against the side of a van which had their logo on it that is like if in Oceans 11 they showed up to the casino in a giant Dany ocean robbery service van and slowly put on their disguises in the lobby it's the perfect crime also that woman hasn't yet filed a formal complaint according to the Nevada AG's office all they've received is a redacted affidavit that doesn't contain her name signature or contact information meaning they have no way to begin a proper investigation and that has been something of a pattern here the Trump team making claims of widespread fraud publicly but they're then being a huge drop off when it comes to what they're actually filing in court in Michigan they submitted a lawsuit with 234 pages of affidavit from pole Watchers but those who actually read them found that they do not show proof of widespread fraud or egregious misconduct instead they're either allegations from people who don't seem to fully understand how the vote counting process works so are questioning some pretty commonplace things or they are petty [ __ ] like complaining people inside The Counting Room were wearing black lives matter shirts or that election workers were opening ballots with Donald Trump votes and rolling their eyes neither of which are illegal and if it helps here let me just head off any future Trump campaign lawsuits a pole worker eating a banana is not evidence of voter fraud one humming the chorus of Uptown Girl is not evidence of voter fraud now wearing a baseball cap could be evidence of voter fraud but only if the person wearing it is putting valid votes into a paper shredder if it's just the Hat parts that again is not evidence of voter fraud and look I could spend the rest of this show debunking Stories the problem is it's endless the latest claim is that voting machines or software change votes even though this government cyber security agency created by an act that Trump himself signed released a statement saying there is no evidence that any voting system deleted or lost votes changed votes or was in any way compromised and that the November 3rd election was the most secure in American history in fact as of this taping one of the few seemingly legitimate cases against anyone for voter fraud this year has been this lern County officials say for the first time in 30 years there's been a voter fraud arrest County detectives say Robert Lynn of 44 signed his deceased mother's name on an absentee ballot application and that's a crime Lynn is a registered Republican court paperwork shows the application was flagged in September and election officials reported it to County detectives yeah that's one person allegedly trying to steal one vote that was flagged in September and the person involved was a trump supporter and this is not the most important thing but it happened in a town called 40 Fort which is just delightful just say the words 404t out loud right now 404t it feels so good in the mouth now apparently the town was named after the original 40 settlers who built a fort there but I called [ __ ] on that because I refuse to believe that there just happened to be 40 settlers who named their Fort 40 Fort without being fully aware of how funny that sounds here is what I think happened they built the fort then one settler said what should we call this place and another said who cares let's just name it 40 Fort and everyone justifiably laughed very hard and agreed to do just that then another settler who no one really liked said wait what if someone asks why we called it 4y for we can't just say we did it because we thought it was funny and everyone quietly muttered oh my God Ezekiel you suck so much so then they said okay if anyone asks we called it 44 because there are 40 of us I mean there aren't but who's going to call us out on that it's [ __ ] 1770 and most people people can't read and that is how 404t got its name I will take that story to my gravy grave and for the record I have exactly as much evidence to back that up as Republicans currently do of widespread voter fraud in this election so the allegations here are complete nonsense and who knows why Republicans are entertaining this maybe it's to do with the fact that Georgia has two Senate runoffs coming up and they want to keep Trump happy so he'll help rally voters for them there maybe they're curring favor with him because they're worried that he'll be a power broker going forward I don't know what I do know is that the answer to the question what is the downside of humoring him is a lot because this administration's refusal to acknowledge the elections outcome means that Biden is not getting highlevel intelligence reports and can't access funds meant to facilitate his transition and then of course there is this President Trump's ongoing refusal to concede the race is complicating Biden's pandemic planning until the Trump Administration formerly recognized Biden as president El outgoing Trump officials can't share critical vaccine distribution plans with the incoming Biden team yeah and that's not great with cases spiking to a terrifying extent you really want the new team handling the pandemic to be able to talk to the old team even if as I suspect the old team's plan was just a single whiteboard in Jared's office with nothing on it except for discover cure question mark circled five times and then a drawing of Donald Trump saying good job new son but the damage of indulging Trump goes even further because it also plays into Grim fantasies of embattled trump supporters something expressed perhaps most dramatically and stupidly by the actor John Voit in this video that Trump himself retweeted on Wednesday my fellow Americans I stand here with all that feel as I do disgusted with this lie that Biden has been chosen as if we all don't know the truth this is now our greatest fight since the Civil War the Battle of righteousness versus Satan yes Satan let us fight this fight as if it is our last fight on Earth as Muhammad Ali said it's not over till the last punch you have okay there's a lot there from doubling down on calling the left Satan to saying I stand here when he's clearly sitting to that Muhammad Ali quote which we could not find any record of him saying which does make sense because it doesn't really sound like Muhammad Ali it doesn't have the rhetorical flare of float like a butterfly sting like a bee or the wit of I'm so mean I make medicine sick it's not over till the last punch you have sounds less like Muhammad Ali and more like a blurb on a bootleg VHS cover of Rocky 4 and sure that's a ridiculous video but the fact is a lot of people believe stuff like that and when you continually insist that the election was stolen in big cities and suggest that remedying this calls for the biggest fight since the Civil War things start to get deadly serious last Thursday Two armed men were arrested outside a Philadelphia Convention Center after police had received a tip about a threat to the vote counting site and one of the City commissioners in charge of ballot counting a republican by the way has been understandably rattled by the chaos engulfing his office from the inside looking out it feels all very deranged it's people making accusations that we wouldn't count those votes or people are adding fraudulent votes or um just coming up with just all sorts of crazy stuff accusations like you are cheating yes you are manipulating the vote Yes or calls to our offices reminding us that um this is what the Second Amendment is for People Like Us you're getting calls like that yes that's a not so veiled death threat yes for counting votes in a democracy that's awful and Trump is playing a dangerous game here because there is a huge difference between not my president and not the president and to be clear people who are that angry are not riling themselves up in a vacuum they've been fed a steady diet of misinformation [ __ ] fraud claims and a victim narrative from Outlets like Fox News Newsmax o and most importantly Trump himself whose Twitter feed this week oscillated between bright articles nonsense claims that he won Pennsylvania and one long reply to Scott boo who you may know from happy days or from Super baby's Baby Genius 2 where he started alongside none other than John Voit I bet they had a lot of fun on set because I guarantee no one else did and infuriatingly Trump has chosen to all this chaos around the election despite the fact that deep down he knows it's over Friday afternoon the final states were called by most Outlets putting Joe Biden at 306 electoral votes to Trump's 232 and during a press conference Trump held just a few hours later he nearly acknowledged reality ideally we won't go to a lockdown I will not go this Administration will not be going to a lockdown hopefully the the uh whatever happens in the future who knows which Administration will be I guess time will tell but uh I can tell you this Administration will not go to a lockdown except no time will not tell Time Has Told Trump lost this election and he knows it and yet just an hour after that press conference he was retweeting Vota fra conspiracies again which is pathetic dangerous and many ways an appropriate coder to a presidency that has destroyed so many lives not only of those that he's attacked but also of those he's claimed to protect so many of us have lost loved ones either because you could no longer Square your love for them with their love for him or because they fell down a mind melting rabbit hole of conspiracy theories that he happily perpetuated or cuz he let a deadly virus run wild and it [ __ ] killed them and now as a Parting Gift of the country Trump is somehow managing to divide us even further while also hobbling his successor at the worst possible time which is absolutely unforgivable and yes the fact that Trump won't be president next year is good it's really good but there is a lot of work to do and at least in the short term things are going to suck for a while but we have to try and repair this damage in fact as a great fighter said it's not over till the final fisting you give or I don't know some [ __ ] like that I don't remember anymore