Reba 2024 When Good Credit Goes Bad New Sitcom Reba Nell McEntire Show 2024

hey we should put our handprints in that before it sets I'm trying to get back in football shape and this is a high protein breakfast food that's supposed to feed my body and my mind it's just an expression don't make fun of me oh I guess you started without me oh sorry want some my diet food what's that supposed to mean nothing but you know since I'm getting in shape for football I think it'd be cool if we did it together what are you doing are you measuring my [Music] waist what no why would you say that I barely got my arms around you what I meant I barely got my arms around you before you pushed me away well I am sorry if I had a baby and I'm wrecked forever but you you are not exactly Mr Perfect either okay so why don't you take care of yourself you big tubag goo what's that all about van called sh fat I did not all I did was ask her if she wanted to go on the diet with me and not even mean just her I think the whole family should try it what's that supposed to mean yeah van what's that supposed to mean we need more boys in this house he is so wrong you know what we do need cell phones K you are not getting a cell phone why not cuz your 13 you don't need one they're too expensive kids with cell phones are obnoxious and life is not fair that about wraps it up Dad said it's okay and barbar jeene thinks it's a good idea whoa you are out of argument since you're quoting barbar Jean I hate it here me too who should we call about that hey my RS are planted in the past though my life is changing fast who I am is who I want to be a single mom who works too hard who loves her kids and never stops with gentle hands and the Heart of a fighter I'm a survivor [Music] hi Mom Hey Jake how you doing how was school Timmy Logan got hit in the face with the ball it was great Jak it's not funny when somebody gets hurt Oh you mean Timmy Logan the bully that ripped your sweater yep ha hope it was a basketball I also got homework I'm supposed to interview someone I admire for class oh all righty then I'm ready I was born in mallister Oklahoma the year is not important okay no Mom I want to interview Cara Cara Cara your sister that Kira hey Kira can I interview you buzz off maybe I'll interview Cheyenne so how are you M guess what Jake's going to be over at your dad's tonight so it's just you and me I said M oh come on let's go to that 50s diner where all the waitresses are in their 50s aha Cara are you still angry about the cell phone you can't get mad at me every time I tell you no sure I can there's God way for you and me to get along I mean I'm tired of constantly fighting over the little things well what do you want me to do Mom pretend I'm all happy at a girl let's try that I'll call the restaurant forget it I'd rather eat dirt I can see why you want to spend time with her give me a glimmer of hope please remind me that you hated my guts once too you bet I did and I pulled away too but I came back yeah because you had a baby I might not get that lucky with Kira oh good you're here listen I need your help with Barbara Jean frock I'm having a hard day here I don't have time to deal with her look when she comes in you've got to tell her she looks terrible okay I could use to pick me up Mom no whatever happened to if you can't say something nice don't say anything at all whoa what is it well I've just never seen I mean you just dang I wish I had my camera you know she's been like this all week she hadn't washed her hair she hadn't put on any makeup she hadn't open that Big Tool Box she keeps it all in what does it matter Henry's the only one I see all day he doesn't care if I look like Sasquatch that's who you look like remember when you were a kid there was that house you were always afraid to walk by yeah we're that house now look barar Jean a lot of new mothers go through what you're going through I did I just didn't throw in the towel on hyene in fact I treated myself to a day at the spa while Brock watched the kids I could do that yeah I get a makeover oh honey that's a great idea I'll take care of Henry and you go clean up uh you know pretty up whatever just just get up oh Rea this is so exciting do you want to come with me you mean hang out with with you and go get her hair and nails done and do all that girl talk thing yeah no okay well then how about Cheyenne maybe she'd like to get a makeover whoa whoa whoa no way Cheyenne's real sensitive about the way she looks right now and I don't know why because she's perfect the way she is well what about Kira I don't suggest asking Kira anything ask me what Kira you want to get a makeover with me did you you already get one no sure why not great and then maybe afterwards we can grab some dinner yeah I know this great place it's right next to a cell phone store cira you know I don't think cell phones are a good idea for kids what that's not what you said before yeah well I changed my mind you know people with cell phones are always ignoring the people they're with think of your friends who have them don't you find them a little Annoying yeah I guess you're right okay let's go I don't believe it you said no and there was no argument well of course not who could argue with that Sweet [Music] Child hey honey what are you doing me nothing why would I be doing anything doing things is for jerks honey I came here to apologize I was being overly sensitive this morning and I was feeling bad and I took it out on you and I'm sorry that's okay I know you feel bad about yourself sometimes what nothing let's just hug why would I feel bad about myself van you shouldn't and that's exactly what I told everyone earlier everybody thinks that I should feel bad about myself they think you should like take the day off and do some Spa makeover with barbaraa Jean and I said no way just like that no way so you're punishing me because I'm fat what no I would never do that not that you are oh really so even though I take care of your baby and go to school and help out taking care of the house you think that I don't need dat at the spa I think that you need to tell me what I need to say to get out of this hey Mom we're back why are you smiling you don't smile I had a wonderful day did you get a cell phone no but if I did I would call my friends because they'd want to see this see what what are you talking about oh it'll just be a second and for the record I had nothing to do with it sometimes the magic just happens [Applause] what do you think is it me no it's [Music] me the ladies at the spa suggested that if I wanted to shake up my life a little I should change my look and couldn't you just get an eye patch and a parrot man I just thought of two other things I'm mad at you for hey Cheyenne wait this doesn't bother you does it I mean us having the same hair we do not have the same hair yours came out of a bottle and mine's almost all natural hey we're back re bug oh boy cool it's like Mom and super sized Mom hey Kira honey why don't you take your little brother upstairs and hide come on Jake we go dye your hair red everybody's doing it H does it mean you don't find my hair attractive I don't know the only time I've seen that hairstyle it's been yelling at me wait let's be perfectly clear the color is stunning it's everything else that's freaky oh now re Rock of all the freaky things she's done this is the freakiest well I just wanted to try something different it's my hair the only thing different is you're underneath it hey you know what I I don't think it's really all that similar are you kidding it's like looking in a carnival mirror Rea just calm down I'm not going to calm down I don't want her anywhere near my house or my kids she's banned oh you can't be serious I can't trust her judgment anymore who knows what else she's going to do worse than ban she's banished hey you think now that I'm a redhead I'm going to get all fiery and hot tempered too [Applause] that is what I'm talking about those fiery redheads just getting up at everybody's [Laughter] Kool-Aid how's it going good good good so you're just going to sit there and pretend you don't notice anything different that was my plan okay Dad blame it this is just wrong she's trying to steal my whole identity man she dresses like me she got my hair it's good thing I don't have an accent her she'd try to steal that too don't you think you're overreacting I mean she stole me from you and you didn't get half this mad I lived with you for 20 years I should have sent the girl a b get of muffins Reva I'm sure that if you ask Barbara jeene she'll be more than happy to change her hair back oh I'm sure she would cuz she's so accommodating and needs to get along with which is why Kira likes her so much better than she likes me what oh yeah I tell Kira no and it's World War III barbar Jean says no and they go skipping off to the mall for a makeover Kira can't stand me I guess who's right there to step in Big Red what are you saying you're jealous of Barbara jeene yes I'm jealous of Barber jeene I'm jealous of barbarine there I said [Laughter] it Rea all mothers and daughters have friction it's totally natural yeah but not all daughters have someplace else to go what if she gets sick and tired of me telling her no and she decides that she wants to go live with y'all well she'd never do that you got the big TV and the divorce I'm serious Brock what would you say if she asked to come live with you I don't know [Music] oh oh I'm sorry I didn't know that you were eating I'll just come back when you're done so I don't disgust you no wait Cheyenne you look great and I can prove it see look at this chart here's your height you should be 105 I'm fat no wait oh no no I read I read the wrong box you should be 205 205 you're skinny you're sick here heat a donut why are you doing this to me me van why am I doing this to you what am I doing this to [Laughter] you Cheyenne please tell me what I did wrong I'll fix it I swear but if you're waiting for me to figure it out we both know how long that could take it was this morning and I was getting out of the shower and I was naked and I told you not to look I didn't I swear I didn't I know then what is the problem you always used to look what you'd turn away but then but then you'd you know look in the mirror or or pretend you didn't hear me or something anything to sneak a peek it was like this really really cute perverted thing that you used to do and then this morning you just you didn't look well I'm I'm sorry Cheyenne I can be a pervert I swear man I don't want you to have to try don't you find me sexy anymore of course I do do you honey there are times when I can barely keep my hands off you like just after you've exercised and your Skin's all pink and you've got this glow about you that's not what I'm talking about yes you are no no no no I know why you used to look at me but why is it that all of a sudden you just didn't want to look this morning because Elizabeth was waking up what Elizabeth was waking up and I wanted to finish brushing my teeth but I thought I heard her cry and all that distracted me from your nakedness I just need to focus I guess that's a good reason honey yeah we still got the hots for each other come we got something more too something better we've got a life together so you really like the way I look after I work out oh yeah you should do it more often no no no no [Music] F I want to talk to you oh boy no this is a good talk this is a talk where I say I've thought it over and I've decided to let you get a cell phone really yes but there are some conditions you have to pay for it out of your babysitting money I get to see the bills cuz I want to know who you're talking to and you can't use it at school at dinner or in the car so I can use it here in the living room next to the phone look I'm trying to meet you halfway on this no you're not you're trying to make it so you can still say no but feel good about yourself forget it I don't even want a phone I say no and you get mad I say yes and you get mad and I'm the one who's unreasonable I can't talk to you when you get like this don't you walk away from me hell re Barber Jean why are you wearing that air [Laughter] escaping I think there's some things we should talk about come in oh I would but I'm banned oh just get in here I dyed my hair back you'll be happy to know what little didn't fall out is Pink but why did you dye your hair like mine in the first place you had to think there was a chance it would bother me I thought you'd be flattered I mean if you did something to look like me I I considered a compliment I'd considered Halloween look barbar jeene I'm sorry there's just been a lot going on around here I know Brock told me about you being jealous of me I got all emotional got laded I think there was a gas leak nevertheless if you're jealous we should talk about the jealousy you feel for me and that way your jealousy won't come between us jealousy can just stop saying [Laughter] [Music] that there is something you can do to make me feel better anything maybe you could spend a little less time with Kira except that I knew it you're doing this on purpose you want her to like you yes I'm evil I want to be liked by children everywhere you know what I mean yeah I do and you're wrong I want her to like me because I like her she's important to me but that shouldn't be a threat to you oh yeah right re but do you know who she talks about all the time when we're together you it's Mom this and Mom that I mean sure she's mostly complaining but it's because you're the important one in her life see I'm just her friend you're her mother and that's the best worst job in the world thank you Barbara jeene we should hug okay but I want to see the pink hair hug first hair first first hug first hair first oh I feel so good to be out shopping again do you know how long it's been since I've been in a store without a produce section girl friend don't look now but there's a guy been staring at you ever since we sat down really what's he look like blue eyes hard body but I cannot tell if that's his real hair oh you what we've got to ease you back into the dating scene well he is kind of cute and I won't have to worry about him running off here you go oh let me get it no no no no I had the steak you only had salad show off this is my treat the divorce is final next month he got custody of the Master Card I got the Visa oh you know what let's come back on Saturday the Cosmetic Department's giving a free makeover oh it sounds great I've been wanting to change my look I'm thinking Hal Berry I can see that I'm sorry ma'am your card's been declined what declined here just use mine no no no there must be a mistake are you sure you did it right I ran it through four times may let me no no this is my treat I know I've got some money in here somewhere I don't suppose you'd take Oak Elementary carnival dollars would you my roots are planted in the past though my life is changing fast who i y is who I want to be a single one who works too hard who loves your kids and never stop with gentle hands and the Heart of a fighter I'm a surviv [Applause] $4,000 for a diamond tiara look it's pretty obvious my credit card number's been stolen by a thief or a princess yeah you better cancel my credit card account fine I'll hold Mom are we poor no honey there's just been a little mix up with my credit card most children living in poverty from broken homes I'm just saying we fit the profile yes I'm still here no no no I didn't make any of those purchases okay thanks what kind of a sick person would buy a diamond tiara foxy lady lingerie and then go on $175 shopping spree at the joy for Jesus bookstore oh Barbara Jean that does it she can have my husband but nobody touches my credit cards hey Mom hey where are you going to your father's condo to strangle a princess have fun hello it's the principal for Mom uh-oh see someone was looking yes this is shyen Mom can I help you you're not Mom oh oh oh your C's principal she wasn't in school today well of course I knew that that's because she was sick as a dog today I must have Plum forgot to call everything's been so crazy around here what with all the the bacon I do okay bye now you skipped school today I never knew you had it in you what did you do get a tattoo or Pierce something what I ditched and went to the downtown library okay Maya Angelou was there and do I know this Maya huh are you going to tell Mom don't worry I'm too cool to rout out someone for skipping school but next time at least go to the mall thanks I owe you one yeah no wait skipping school is wrong oh come on you two have done it yeah look where it's gotten us man we're about to be parents this is no joke a year from now it could be our child skipping school we should use this opportunity to practice our parenting good idea and if we screw up it's just her hey I'm not going to be your guinea pig would you rather be Mom's guinea pig This Bites okay we need to come up with a punishment my dad used to take away my driving privileges for a week I think that's fair van K is not going to drive for 4 years four years oh that seems harsh oh no okay I think that you should go clean our room what no way oh all right then maybe I'll have a little talk with Mom I hate you both thank you we're going to be great [Music] parents Rea hi we need to talk about my Visa uh uh now I kind of in the middle of something so was I a nice afternoon with my friend until my Visa was rejected because your mistress went on a shopping spree with my card do you have any idea how embarrassing that was oh hi Rea we were just thinking about you please don't do that anymore look I'm I'm sorry about the mixup I obviously handed BJ the wrong credit card it's no big deal it's no big deal that she spent $4,000 on a diamond tiara it was on sale besides if I'm going to wear the plain white suit instead of a real wedding dress I have to have something to make me feel like a real bride oh yes the traditional bride's tiara Reba I feel like this is my fault so do I um I'm so sorry about the credit card everything has just been so crazy what with the wedding being in two weeks you're planning on getting married in two weeks uh Barina uh could you give us a moment sure two weeks well see see this this Dental convention came up in St Thomas and I just figured we could get married there without all the hassles and the best part is the whole thing is a huge tax write off BR our divorce is not final for another month now I realize the Rules of Marriage have always been a little shaky for you but you can't be married to two women at the same time they even made a law about it well well actually I wanted to talk to you about that see my lawyer explained that there's this form that you can sign that allows BJ and me to get married before our divorce is technically final you want me to sign a permission slip for bigamy now see you make it sound all wrong it is wrong you hadn't even told the kids look when when I booked this trip I thought our divorce would be final and I didn't want to upset you oh finding out this way is so much better come on Rea you knew Barbara Jean and I were getting married I can come over this weekend so you can sign the form please it'd really help me out I'm tired of helping you out if you want to get married you're going to have to wait for your divorce just like the rest of the cheating husbands [Music] [Applause] [Music] it's not your birthday it's not Valentine's Day and I see flowers some man done you wrong Brock's trying to butter me up to sign that quickie divorce paper this afternoon well he can send you all the roses in Texas you stand firm he deserves to suffer are those brownie help yourself oh it's not that I'm trying to make Brock suffer it's a principle of the thing why should I make it any easier for him let me damn straight do you have any idea where Brock and I spent our honeymoon two nights in Leck on the way to dental school sucks being the first wife doesn't it let's forget about Brock and go get our free makeovers who why are you doing laundry I don't remember threatening to cut off your allowance my cloth got dirty uh-huh and since when are you suiting up for the wild cats I uh you know I didn't want to waste water so I just threw in some of Van Cheyenne stuff okay why are you jumping all over me can't I just help out around the house did Cheyenne say something to you no well okay you mad that not for a minute but when laundry's getting done I don't ask many [Music] questions got it got it oo I just love these little angels with the Sans kind of like God's fortune cookies do you give rep does Jesus love the little children I'm not really supposed to be buying anything I'm only at the mall to return my tiara it was for my wedding but we decided it would overshadow my hair oh when's the joyous day it was supposed to be in 2 weeks but his wife is having some issues use oh dear what this car was reported stolen well there must be some mistake I'm sure that's it yeah security we have a center [Laughter] so now we know why the makeovers are free my last car didn't have this much pain on it hello again ladies who's picking up the check today not me I hope hello you're kidding okay all right stop crying I'll be [Music] there you're not going to believe this Barbara jeans in jail what' you do steal somebody else's husband no it's Mall jail she tried to use Brock's credit card again the one I reported stolen go re H I didn't do it on purpose I say Le a night The Slammer will serve her right no I can't just let her stay there of course it does seem ashamed to rush through lunch are you ready to order sure is the South shell crab in season oh not for another month that's fine we'll wait [Music] here you go skipping school is bad 10 times boy was that hard that a girl huh what's going on here well Kier raised the valid point that doing our chores doesn't really teach her lesson so she came up with this other idea and you caved just like that is this how it's going to be with our baby you're the good guy and I'm the big mean mama um do we have to discuss this in front of the CHL well I am not the one who went behind my back and changed the punishment well my punishment was better well I don't think so I do you know what forget it I'm not doing anything else for you freaks oh oh yes you will little missy as long as you are in our house you will live by our rules it's not your your house it's Mom's and I'd rather be punished by her than you so I'm turning myself in you guys are the worst parents in the world I just I don't know what to do with her anymore she's at that [Music] age Rea oh praise the Lord I'm saved relax there's no death penalty at the mall then again this is Texas Reba I don't know if it's the fluorescent light in or because I've been alone in here so long but you look beautiful that's it I'm hosing this stuff off before I leave the building what happened oh I was arrested in the gift shop of Our Lord God is good I was buying this for you I wanted to say I'm sorry for all the problems I've caused this little Angel's for all that Reba I have a confession to make I'm glad you told Brock you went on those papers I never really wanted to get married in the Virgin Islands too ironic for you it was Brock's idea you know he's been pushing to run away someplace and get it over with good old Brock it's not that I need a fancy wedding I just want one in a church surrounded by family and friends our Union blessed by God reception to follow at catfish John mon that's every little girl's dream instead I'm Knocked Up locked up and looking at three to laugh [Laughter] your wedding may not turn out the way any of us have dreamed you probably won't get to wear a tiara or get struck by lightning but as long as your wedding expresses who you are I'm sure it'll be very special you think so oh what do I know oh I like what you said oh Rea thank you you don't know what this means to me you may find this hard to believe but I don't have a lot of friends any chance you be my matron of honor guard all right here comes Mom this is your last chance to cut a deal you give me your CD player and we'll call it even hey mom I skipped school on Tuesday nice knowing you I took the bus to the downtown library it was the wrong thing to do and I'm sorry well I'm disappointed in what you did but I appreciate you being honest with me so I'm going to let it slide but if this ever happens again young lady they're going to be some serious consequences I understand thanks Mom that's it I'm going to let it slide look this isn't fair you never let me get away with anything you got to be kidding we are just practicing for when we become parents I mean discipline is important well what kind of discipline would you recommend for two 17y olds taking advantage of their little sister you could let it slide I could but what kind of parent would I be my [Music] favorite hey Reba hey Brock I brought you something Brock stop with the bribes I'll just just open it oh look it's my tiara it's all yours I really am sorry about the screw up thanks so where is the form I'll sign it what you can get married in St Thomas you actually made me feel sorry for Barbara Jean and that ain't easy actually we're not going to St Thomas no I just wanted to thank you for helping BJ oh that's all right I enjoyed seeing her in jail the reason I wanted to rush the wedding wasn't for the tax break but the truth is I know how embarrassing this whole thing has been for you and I I just figured that a big Todo here in town would make things worse go on but when BJ told me what you said about the wedding expressing who she is I canceled the trip you did yeah we'll wait until the divorce is final and then we can have the wedding that BJ's always dreamed of right here in Houston wait a minute because of me you're going to have this big wedding right here in Houston with all our friends well of course we'll want all the kids there too now I realize the whole thing about matron of honor was ridiculous but we do need someone to [Laughter] sing I don't think you'd like the song I'd pick [Music] come on sweet baby crawl to anira crawl to anira I know you can do it yes you can Wy would you would oh so you do have a heart hope it'll stick to the [Laughter] tape oh my gosh mom she did it she crawled you big girl yes you did you crawl come on do it again come on Cara do your baby talk I don't know what she's talking about Granny's had some cider not off I want to try to capture all the important moments in Elizabeth's life yeah oh sure just like you did with Jake the only video we have of him is you going to the hospital to deliver him that's only because Dad had a new car yeah maybe you're right but we're going to do this for Elizabeth I want to do a video for her so later on she knows how much she meant to to us you mean when she runs away she'll know why and there goes Aunt Kira off to practice her cheerleading come on Elizabeth you run away from Grandma like a't kir did come on woi woi wo there she go oh yeah look goir are pled in the past though my life is changing fast who I am it's who I want to be a single mom who works too hard who loves her kids and never stops with gentle hands and the Heart of a fighter I'm a [Music] Survivor I got to tell you Mom I think making this video for Elizabeth is an awesome idea what if I say something stupid on the tape if oh this is just so exciting being on the set that's movie talk and rebit since you're the director you need to call Action and then when we're all done that's called a rrap Barbara Jean take [Applause] five okay does everybody know what they're going to say to Elizabeth I'm mad at Elizabeth she put my game boy in the toilet okay I'm going to tell Elizabeth that she's a pearl on the necklace of life that's really nice man okay everybody just act natural and be yourselves that's impossible have any ever heard about the Heisenberg uncertainty principal The Observer changes the nature of the observed no but I have heard the one about the man from Nantucket [Applause] a okay kir you go first you really want me to act natural yeah okay I'm going to the mall okay van you're up but why do I have to go first shine why don't you go first no way nobody ever pays attention to the one who goes first mom you go no I'm going last why do you get to go last cuz I didn't get pregnant when I was 17 that's [Applause] why Reba you can't expect people to perform in front of everybody you got to do it in private that way people can organize and theorize without the pressure of all your eyes she's been listening to a lot of rap music [Applause] lately you know you got a good point there I this might be easier if we did this without everybody watching yeah we could we could set the camera up in our room okay let's go yeah ooh we're going on location okay just about set Hey how my hair fine how's mine fine now wait okay when it's your turn sit right there where Jake is and when you're ready turn on the camera with this remote now Brock got the Short Straw so he goes first hey bud you sure you don't want to go first with that Pearl Line you know it's always good to open with a joke just go first Short Straw so Kira's really not going to do this huh ah you know Kira she's at that age where she don't want to be a part of the family you hit that age about 40 right Brock K so have there Elizabeth well you're my first grandchild and that means the world to me see my boy Henry your uncle was born the same year a pretty wild year Well by the time you see this you'll probably have heard some pretty sorted stories about Barbara Jean now I just want to take this opportunity to set the record straight okay what really happened [Music] was Elizabeth is going to love this talking on that tape was so hard I almost cried like twice is that what that noise was what you were listening at the door well I tried I couldn't hear you or your dad usually your voice cuts through anything hey that was supposed to be private what's a big deal Brock what horrible evil things did you say yeah Mr H what are you so worried about nothing you I just I got I got all mushy and and it's embarrassing you nobody likes a sensitive dentist he said something stupid let's watch it no no no nobody's going to watch anything because you got something to hide what you said something bad about me that's what I forgot everybody okay let's just calm down Reba when are you taking the tape to the safe deposit box Monday morning fine I'll drop it off here on my way to work hey what do you think you're doing all right there are two of us but there are three of you which means statistically there's a greater chance a betrayal if the tape stays here than if it goes with us math don't lie right yeah but Brock does I'm going to keep it safe and sound locked right here in this cabinet okay fine but come Monday morning I am going to the bank with you and you can take that to the bank get it brought to the B yeah let [Music] just what' you say in N for the millionth time van I cannot tell you what' you say in the tape hey have you guys eaten yet no oh great we've got something to show you Tada you came all the way over here to show us a cooking Gadget not just any cooking Gadget the George foran lean mean a grillin machine well how does it work well I'm glad you asked van you can cook chicken and beef but the fat runs into the pan instead of your food it's a party for your taste buds without the hangover for your waistline it practically has a mind of its own every meal it yells re's coming re's coming what the heck you think you're doing nothing he was trying to switch the tapes you you tape switcher is that true dad I was just nervous about what I said you too should be ashamed of yourselves the tape has been moved and the lock has been picked I didn't touch it I I was going to but I didn't honest well somebody moved the tape so who was it come on whoever did it just admit it ah mhm it was Cheyenne she's got ice in her veins it was not me no van it was probably you yeah you were asking me what I said on the tape just to throw me off and then you accused me to throw me off even more I'm not that clever well I know who it was it was Mom I'm the one who told everybody the tape had been moved if I watch it why would I tell on myself all right she's got a point I think one person watched everything on this tape if somebody doesn't speak up we're all going to sit right down and watch it together it's the only fair thing to do come on somebody confess okay then no I think you're making a huge mistake is that the man who married Barbara [Music] [Music] Jean well it's kind of a funny story actually see your grandma reeba and I sat down and decided together that we didn't want to be married anymore and then along long time after that at least a year maybe even more Barbara Jean came to work for me at my office and although the attraction was strong we waited until long after the divorce was Final before we went out for coffee and that's what really happened happened but very nice Brock I was telling her the story and it sounded bad so I decided to FIB a little and that made it even worse and that's why I wanted to change the tape Are you ashamed of me Brock no of course not honey I love you not on my couch and so in one crazy year I was blessed with two babies all I can hope for you is that you realize you have the best women in the whole world as examples there's nobody better than your grandma Rea and your mom they love you more than you know and so do I be good I guess I'm not one of the best women in the world I was speaking in the context of Elizabeth's life MH sure you were you know I'm just I'm glad I know where I stand with you down in the gutter with the common folk hey common folk zip it zip it hi there sweetie this is so nerve-wracking talking to you like this there's so much that I want to say I mean wow where do I start so much to say like a lot apparently not shut up Van uh you being here has made me grow up so much I was in high school worried about stuff like the drill team and and you came along and showed me what life is all about oh you have a great family and a great dad he is so wonderful and I'm sure by the time you see this he's going to be a great man [Applause] I'll be a great man what's wrong with that what I'm not now man don't overreact shyen loves you yeah apparently she has high hopes for her big loser and I hope that you love me as much as I love my mom oh and I apologize in advance if I'm always in your face and I'm a little controlling it's how I was raised it's how I was raised what does that mean I'm controlling oh yeah it has been mentioned well I bet b dis agrees don't overreact Mrs Z Cheyenne loves you [Laughter] that's the way you feel about it fine what's up you hey I'm talking to you from my room controlling I think that's a bunch of bull hockey that's what I think it either we all sleep in here together every night when I lay down I hear you breathing and it makes me know that everything is right in the world well not everything like that pump at the gas station I mean I put a quarter in and it didn't give me any air hello should be free it's air okay wait wait Focus here Focus I'm really glad you came along because if you hadn't I'm sure I wouldn't have been married to your mom you're the reason we're a f thank you I love you stop sh mom what the hell was that what if it weren't for the baby you wouldn't have married me I'm just saying I was really young and unless you were pregnant I probably would have been single for a while oh keep talking Cowboy you just might get your wish okay okay all right easy does it here right all right this is getting way too much out of hand uh I think it'd be a good idea if we don't watch any more of the type oh yeah right before we see yours I don't think so let's go roll it up come on I have one thing to say to you the game boy is not [Applause] waterproof gosh last time I was videotaped in the bedroom I didn't know about it [Laughter] [Applause] Elizabeth you're a very lucky little girl and the only way I can express my feelings is through song it's a little diddy called Wind Beneath My Wings [Music] [Applause] [Applause] hey there my sweet little Elizabeth this is your grandma I want to tell you that no matter what you can always come to me with any problem if there's ever anything that you feel like you can't tell your mama I'll help you and I'll not judge you I'll never betray your trust I'm your safe place safe from harm or judgment or retribution as long as I'm on this Earth you'll have me you are a pearl in the necklace of life that was mine well it sounded better coming from me than it would from you you take from Van he's the guy with the least to spare plus how could you encourage my daughter to lie to me I'm her mother not you I didn't tell her to lie you kind of did Rea oh yet and sometimes some of the best women in the world are liing I wouldn't talk Mr H what you did was kind of low oh really lower than telling your daughter you wouldn't have married her mom well maybe someday way off in the future I'll be a better person cuz right now I'm scum oh you are such a child oh you are no you are no baxis okay I want to re-record mine so I can use my material oh no no nobody's going to re-record anything maybe that's why they call you controlling oh well it would have been nice if you'd have been more controlling over what's in your pantsy there Elizabeth Kira Kira took the tape sit down sit down come no matter what anyone has said before me I'm the only one you should trust see this family has its issues but I know that no matter what when I get up in the morning they'll always be here arguing and battling and then laughing about it later you coming along has made this place even crazier but it taught me that life is messy unpredictable tough and sometimes really great really great oh and you probably already know this by now but watch out for my mom she'll try to make you do stuff and be all controlling but it's just because she wants you to have a good life and she likes to hug a lot and it's gross I love you kid hey I just called some one kid would you Wy Wy okay nobody tell her we saw this tape [Applause] what great daddy okay see you Friday night oh and if you hit any aradillas this time don't feel like you have to show me hey guess what Mima and Grandpa are driving down from muo to spend the weekend with us oh great great they're stopping by on their way to the valley they're going dove hunting for their 46th anniversary how romantic to celebrate a long happy marriage by killing birds all right this is the first time your grandparents have come down since your father moved out so I want everybody to be in your best behavior to show them how well we're getting along in other words life yeah cheyen me Mom and grandpa will be sleeping in your room where are we supposed to sleep you and Van take K's room car you can bunk with me no way are those sex Maniacs sleeping in my room put them in Jake's room I don't want Maniacs in my room and while my parents are here there will be no arguing complaining or talk of sex what's left Hey Jake you left his backpack at the condo glad you're here Mom and Daddy are coming to visit this weekend JB and Helen are coming you know my parents names of course your family is Brock's family and Brock's family is my family yeah don't worry we'll stay clear I'm sure that JV and Helen are none too thrilled with me right now why Brock Mom and Daddy have known you for 20 years if you don't show up they're going to think something's wrong with this family hello stop by around 11:30 but be brief and come alone who would we bring [Music] Rich planed in the past though my life is changing fast who I am it's who I want to be a single mom who works too hard who loves her kids and never stops with gentle hands and the Heart of a fighter I'm a survival what if your grandparents don't like me why wouldn't they like you you're pregnant I'm your husband they're going to put two and two together they're here nice happy family just like we rehearsed it okay you terrific thanks why aren't you wearing the blouse that I sent you don't you like it oh I love it I'm going to wear it tomorrow so you can see me wear it all day long come here my sweet little baby girl Oh Daddy nothing takes me home like the smell of Old Spice and gunpowder hi Grandpa hey partner did you bring me something well I sure [Music] did wow a real night thanks thanks Daddy I'll put it with the 22 you gave him for Christmas oh look at you well you've got [Applause] boobs aren't they great yeah hi M oh Chey honey let me look at you you are glowing I'm sorry hey Grandpa a you going to introduce us to your fell oh grandpa MMA this is my husband Van heard a lot about you son I'm sorry Van's a little nervous about meeting y'all under the circumstances oh HOA listen JV and I were 19 when we got married it's not your age that matters it's the amount of work that you put into it there is no greater achievement in life than a long and a happy marriage oh I'm sorry reeba I'm fine Mama y'all come on up you two are going to be sleeping in Cheyenne's room oh we don't want to put the kids out it's no trouble Cheyenne's in with Kira and Van's with Jake and you're all alone I'm fine Mama sure you [Music] are well For Heaven's Sake Rea no wonder she got pregnant you let him put put these two beds together Mama they didn't push the beds together till after they were married honey I love you but you are walking around with blinders on I got a special lunch plan tomorrow to celebrate your anniversary we don't want to put you to any trouble I do what are you making fried chicken mashed potatoes and green beans woo have I told you you're my favorite hey we just need to grab our pajamas which we sleep in every night man I'm going to go hit the showers I hope you still have that fancy little sponge on a stick what sponge on a stick you old fool I told you that is the toilet brush I'm going to go take it out of the bathroom before he gets in there oh Cheyenne van come over here I brought you something oh MMA you didn't have to do that well I sure did you're my first grandbaby to get married your grandfather gave this to me on our third anniversary see when we got married we couldn't afford a diamond ring so he bought me one three years later and gave it to me in this locket oh my God is there a diamond ring in here no of course not I mean it's beautiful well I know when you start out Amer marriage young you don't have a whole heck of a lot so you got to make what you do have special thank you yes don't I just hope the two of you are going to be as happy together as I have been with your granddaddy for the last 46 years now give me a hand let's push these two beds [Applause] [Music] apart well I just finished sweeping the porch you s F the porch I made the mistake of looking bored in front of Mima uh well no time to chitchat busy busy busy oh mama I'm wearing the shirt you bought me maybe I should have got that in another color is that all the chicken you made you don't think it's enough well you know me I don't believe in skimping on portions like I always say if you want to keep your man happy keep him full oh I didn't mean that Reba I'm sure it wasn't your cooking that drove Brock away and all this time I thought it was my housekeeping okay open your eyes what's this for well I was thinking about that locket that Grandpa gave me mind we're going to have to have memories like those if we're going to last for 46 years 46 years it'll be like a 100 read it card I wrote you a poem to my man whose name is Van lots of love your wife Cheyenne thank you now can I open it [Applause] yes well it it's a keychain mhm and you know what it's for no way you got me a car no no van it's a heart keychain because you hold the key to my heart isn't that romantic yeah oh you serious and that young fell is how you feel dress a deer lunch is almost ready I'm not hungry oh that must be Brock you better not make my little Carrot Top cry hey hey Brock come on in mama daddy look who's here hello Helen JV happy anniversary fish biting lately nope did you try my spam trick yep didn't work called an eight founder did I tell you I brought you some things from the office fuzzy floss three packs son of a gun I can't stay mad at you hey why don't you stay a while we're about to eat why don't you TI on the feed bag with us uh JV no uh Reba didn't make enough chicken I told you we got plenty of chicken mama oh no I I can't stay JV buddy of mine's waiting out in the car yooo that's him [Music] now Rock honey you forgot my pie where are my manners hi I'm Barbara Jean oh oh I am so pleased to meet you Mrs MC Kenny Helen Mom I'm not sure what to call you funny I've thought of so many things to call you Mom okay Mom it is well the sweat on the back of my neck tells me it's time to go sorry we can't stay for lunch sure we can what are we have uh chicken well I think I'll just take your delightful pie into the kitchen [Applause] mommy what you do that for don't tell me you were going to eat that woman's pie no of course not but at least I would have waited till she left before I threw it out Rea how can you let her come into your home and make a fool out of you one good thing about Barbara Jean when you're with her you never feel like you're the fool well I am not going to eat lunch with her you have to it's your anniversary lunch then you shouldn't have invited her I didn't daddy did because you let him look mama for the good of the family I have accepted Barber jeene as a reality in my life it's not as bad as you think now I want you to go out there have lunch and be civil it's not going to kill you what if it does well then I won't have to wear this shirt [Applause] [Music] anymore boy you can tell the food is good when no one's talking your grandfather hates me look at the way he's in his knife don't eat too much save room for my pie oh yeah what kind was it is it blueberry rhubarb I heard it was jv's favorite that rhubarb really cleans out the pipes I understand you're a hygienist that must be fascinating work cleaning strangers dirty teeth all day mother oh sorry what I meant was what a lovely blouse I got it at the outlet mall but I added the sparkle myself I'm into bedazzling I love the outlet malls of course the closest one to us is halfway to Lok two tanks of gas to save 40 cents count your blessings ours is right up the street that's why my shoes are different sizes well you can't tell and I bet you got a great price on them oh I did hey when we're done we should go to the mall and do some shopping what a great idea what BJ uh don't we have to do that that that church thing but Mom wants to go shopping mom yeah it's my anniversary and I want to go come on Reba it won't kill you but what if it does well then I guess you you won't have to wear that shirt [Music] anymore hey hey I made you something no thank you I'll try one bite I made it myself van that's a Twinkie Hostess made it please okay okay what is this your wedding ring yuck what did you you do that for I'm being romantic I saw it in a movie Once a guy put an engagement ring in a fortune cookie van you're supposed to do that when you propose this is just gross it's better than a stupid keychain what nothing well at least a keychain is a real gift well excuse me for being romantic I'm sorry if it's not as fancy as that poem you say you wrote hey what are y'all squabbling about out in here I'm sorry is there something wrong with him no it's mimma told us about that locket you gave her and we're trying to make memories but we suck at it I gave her a locket you don't remember oh dude you are so in trouble don't look so surprised 46 years is a long long long time how do you do it now here's a tip stop trying look the thing that makes a marriage last is silence yesterday we drove 9 hours from mle Sho to Houston and six of them were completely silent we're comfortable nobody tries to impress the other now that's what makes marriage last silence really yeah that and playful sex oh I'm sorry did you find anything you like Rea yeah socks 10 pair for a dollar socks well you're no fun maybe I'll bedazzle them cute [Music] J oh I love this song r e s p e c take t [Music] [Music] sck Meck Tock to me stop it stop stop it stop it to me stop stop it what how could you do that with her I thought you told me to be nice to her I meant don't throw her pie away not start a mother daughter Lounge at heaven's sakes Rea would you make up your mind be nice to her don't be nice to her what do you want from me I don't know but not sock it to me sock it to me sock it to me it well I'm sorry but in my day the rules were simpler a woman who slept with your husband didn't bring you a pie why don't you just come right out and say it you think I'm a failure because my marriage didn't last 46 years like yours did is that what you think well it's not like you've been subtle about it there's no greater achievement in life than a long happy marriage or if you want to keep your man happy keep him full of chicken I never said chicken look I know we may not look like a normal family but in some weird way it's working I'm just sorry you can't see that you know the first time I saw that woman walson through your front door I thought that you weren't standing up for yourself I wanted to defend you but now I see you're letting her come over here as a sign of how strong you are not how weak do you really think so oh yeah you are one strong stubborn mule of a woman can't imagine where I got that that from your daddy [Music] oh listen it's clear to me that you are doing just great the last thing you need is your old mother coming around poking her nose into your business so I am just going to butt out no don't butt out I'll never stop needing a mama oh good good cuz that chicken of yours was a little dry you know your mama and I are real proud of you but I never had any doubt you'd hold it all together my little firecracker thanks Daddy love you love you too bye sweetie bye Mama love you bye-bye kids happy anniversary have fun boy am I glad to have our room back Mom you didn't have to put our beds back together I didn't van must have done it oh I didn't do it well then who did oh that is so sweet Grandpa mimo still love each other they made a memory in our bed r s e c [Music] [Applause] come on Helen shake it [Music] com there you go thanks m mom Joey gave me a turtle yesterday can I keep him oh gee Jake I don't know Turtles are kind of uh violent violent Turtles are very violent Speedy is easy to take care of you won't even know he's here that's what Cheyenne said when she brought van home please Mom oh all right but you got to keep him in your room and I better not smell anything hey that's what I said when Cheyenne brought van home haven't you heard of a thing called privacy other people need the bathroom Cheyenne what is the big deal you walked in on me van so I've watched you give birth to our daughter you can't do anything grosser than that hey hey no graphic talk in the kitchen some of us are trying to eat sorry I will be in the unmentionable place doing the UN speakable I need to get back there in exactly 3 minutes van shine are you okay of course I'm okay why wouldn't I be okay I mean don't I look okay somebody's in a mood shut up I'm not in a mood one minute van Gian what's going on nothing I just don't feel well what kind of not well the kind of not well where I might be pregnant okay what you're pregnant and I thought Jake was pushing a better BR home a turtley my are planted in the past my life is changing fast who I am is who I want to be single mom who works too hard who loves her kids and never stops with gentle hands and the Heart of a fighter I'm a survivor are they back from the doctor yet any minute how could this happen again Rea wasn't somebody watching them gee I don't know Brock we took turn standing guard they must have done it on a shift change let's not panic we're not even sure she's pregnant the home test wasn't clear besides what's the worst case scenario there's another miracle on the way I hope barbar Jean's Church knows not to make her youth counselor well you know I know van and Cheyenne's situation isn't ideal but who doesn't love babies I want to have three just like you did Rea and I hope all of them are 15 pounders [Laughter] I'm not pregnant oh yes she said not is there any word that not sounds better in front of than [Music] pregnant well I'm glad everything worked out although I must say I starting to look forward to another baby in our midst oh she doesn't mean in our midst she's talking about you know the Greater Houston area so you're okay everything turned out fine absolutely mom yeah just a little scare well that's a relief cuz I want you feeling your best when I do this oh Mom calm down little scare how could this happen you swore to me you were using protection we are we are yes van I'm on the pill oh that's good so what did you forget to take it I mean why else would you be worth worried because look I am positive that I always took it but maybe one time I forgot I no no no see you don't forget when there's an 8-month old baby in the crib next to you to remind you uh Mrs H that's a little bit too much responsibility for a baby mom I am not pregnant so obviously I did remember well here's another way to help you remember remember you know I resent that we are not children yeah you don't get to be parents by being irresponsible look I've been supportive but I will not let you throw your lives and the rest of this family into chaos again I will not let you make the same mistake twice wait a minute mistake wait hold on you can't make that decision for us I mean we we could have a baby if we want we don't need your permission as long as you're under my roof you can't have a stick of gum without my permission you two will not have another baby in my house I can't believe she yelled at us we didn't even do anything wrong that time your mom cannot tell us what to do we can have gum or babies whenever we want so my birthday's coming up hope you haven't got my gift yet of course I have but if there's something else you want well then i' thatd just be a gift ahead well I tell you what I don't want a clock cuz I already got one and it's going tick tick tick tick tick ding baby time how about a new car would you like a new car I'd like a baby you mean something like a baby like golf she is honey Henry's almost a year old what are we waiting for oh baby we got plenty of time you know I was just reading about a Chinese woman who gave birth at 50 say let's go out for Chinese tonight you said you wanted a big family yeah and I've got one I've already got four kids I think I've hit my quot if I have any more the state should make me throw some back [Laughter] yeah but but I only got one I'm a G with over 400 beanie babies and only one real baby it's just I'm tired well take a nap well that's not going to help you know the truth is Barbara Jean I don't want to have any more kids Meer I'm sorry well then I'm getting out of here oh Barbara Jean oh don't Barbara Jean me I can't spend another second with a man who hates children watch [Music] Henry or Rea Rock and I had a terrible fight I need your help is he in the trunk and you need a shovel no then I pass re this is serious my marriage is at stake Brock doesn't want any more children Barb I'm not the person to talk to about you and Brock reproducing I wasn't for it the first time but I need help well I going to tell you what to do unless it's about Chey having a baby then she'll tell you what to do F knock it off yeah van you better listen to her remember we don't have any will anymore we have to do exactly what she says when she says it right now I would welcome Reba's brand of overly controlling guidance Argie won't you take a walk or something good idea I need to clear my head just send us a postcard what are you doing van and I are spending the weekend at my friend Kristen storm room we decided that we needed a little space to think about whether we can live here under these conditions can't you think up in your room oh it's not our room that's your room your walls your carpet your broken window you broke your window oh not our window oh this is ridiculous you're running away from home just like you did when you were 5 years old well I'm not five anymore mom and neither is Van yeah and neither is Elizabeth and we can't live here with somebody who calls our daughter a mistake I didn't say that yes you did we have it on tape well not on tape but we remember it vividly that's not what I meant I love elizabth what I meant was she wasn't planned you guys didn't talk about what you wanted out of your lives and how you were going to get those things you just let life happen to you you never think about the consequences and until you do I'm going to be the one to make all the choices for you and that's your final word of the matter that's my final word as long as you're living in this house I make the decision well if that was your final word why did you add to [Music] [Laughter] it bartin have you just been standing out here uh well okay then oh Reba I was trying to cheer me up with your odd little jokes Rob why are you back here well I went to the park but there were babies everywhere and dogs dogs with puppies car I'd love to sit and chitchat with you but I'm really busy well I'm not leaving until you give me some advice okay hurry up well I need to find a way to make Brock listen to me well you never have any problem making me listen to you just talk talk talk never go away oh there you are how'd I know I'd find you over here maybe because the make your own teddy bear store was closed come on home honey why shouldn't we have more children and don't make excuses a lot of men have big families Brock even even men in their late 30s late 30s I really really don't want to talk about this over here well I do do I get a vote Barbara Jean no Brock I'm not leaving then I will not until you give me one good reason while we can't have another baby fine I had a visectomy on the other hand it is my [Laughter] [Applause] house you what after you got pregnant I panicked I'm sorry I know I should have told you earlier yeah yeah you should have and before you got snipped because it would have saved you a lot of pain well it didn't really hurt all that much oh it will when you get it [Music] reversed I I can't why not well cuz the kind I got was a a Perma ectomy [Laughter] Brock you got a choice we can do it at the doctor's office with anesthesia or late at night while you're asleep I don't care what she says I'm not putting myself through that again and I'm 90% sure she's not going to do anything to me in the middle of the night if I don't go to sleep so so this panic attack when was it again uh I don't know about 2 years ago I guess so two years ago while we were going through Coupes therapy trying to save our marriage my husband has a secret vasectomy oh you're mad too huh how could you do that Brock well we were separated we were supposed to be working it out yeah well as soon as Barbara jeene told me she was pregnant I knew that working it out wasn't going to be an option I didn't know that for all I knew we were trying to save our marriage and then have more kids what we didn't want any more kids back then I didn't want to have any more kids but now that I know it wasn't even an option I bet I wanted more kids you are just being ridiculous I had an affair with Barbara Jean while we were still married that's what you should be angry about oh I am but that's old anger this is new anger that just doesn't make any sense it's not about making sense Brock it's about somebody thinking it's okay to make another person's decision for him especially something as important as having another child oh Dad blame you Brock what' I do now well you just made me realize that I did the same thing to van and Shan that you did to me oh so you're really not any better than me are you oh I'm way better than you are I did mine out of love you did yours because you're a [Applause] butt this this is great my ears are ringing from walking down the hallway yeah but it's a little loud for a baby don't you think yeah but I love this song You it a little loud for a baby okay hey turn it down you know what's weird van if we didn't have Elizabeth we'd be living here jello shots in K dog's room and we'd be doing jello shots in K dog's room then I I'd be V dog come on man you don't want to be V doog do you van you don't want to be boozing it up and sleeping late and making out with all the loose girls in the hallway right oh wait a minute you think Elizabeth is a mistake too no no of course I don't I love Elizabeth just don't get mad I'm just realizing all the things we gave up F what's the matter with you hey I miss all that stuff too okay I mean I'm on that campus every day and I see all these Carefree people without you know a care yeah and imagine how hard it would be if we had another baby I mean that would have really screwed up our plans we don't have any plans Van Well I thought you might have some you didn't tell me about I mean do you even want any more kids in the future do you I don't know I mean I guess I I always thought I'd have two or three but close together I also thought I'd be living in a mansion with a nanny well we kind of [Music] do I think this is what what mom was talking about you know we need to sit down and have a long serious talk about everything K dog just nailed Fletch with a water balloon dude it was so dude oh I love water balloons 10 minutes and we're going home vll oh I love you so much Sea Dog don't call me that woohoo party hey you guys want to see some baby [Music] pictures hey Mrs H we're back that's great news welcome home we missed you I missed you too and Mom we thought a lot about what you said and we realized that you were right hang on sweetheart let me go first I thought a lot about what I said too and well I was right I was right about the planning your life part but I had no right to tell you it wasn't your choice whether or not to have another baby but that doesn't mean I don't have an opinion which is why you will find a 30 page essay on your B called teenagers having babies is stupid stupid stupid well how about I write a 30 page essay called I'm not going to write a 30 page essay honey I love Elizabeth very very much you know that and she is not a mistake she's um an unplanned blessing yeah she is but maybe when you decide to have another baby maybe that one could be a plan blessing yeah I think it'd make your lives a lot easier you see it's a lot like Jake in this Turtle see Jake wanted a turtle but he wasn't ready to take care of it so I being the responsible one wound up having to [Applause] oh Speedy boy this day just keeps on getting [Music] better you know Mom it's really sad when you come in the front door and Speedy doesn't run to meet [Music] you it's not funny Kira well now it's not have you seen Speedy Jake honey I need to talk to you about [Music] Speedy honey I'm afraid his state is over Speedy passed away oh is it because I didn't take care of him like you said yes yes it is okay that's not true honey Speedy died because he got sick but Karen for a living thing is a lot of work and until you can do the job all by yourself without my help you're really not ready are you I guess hey can I get another turtle if I keep it at Dad's yes yes you [Applause] can Welly this is going to be worth the wait here you go fresh squeezed orange juice with lots of Pulp just like Mama used to make more please no wonder Mama's right arm was so huge I told you I'm not going maternity shopping again those women look at me like they know what I did but I need clothes that make it clear I'm pregnant not fat cheyen I have tons of cute maternity clothes left over from when I had Jake no offense mom but you were 35 I'm like half that right so what are the hip pregnant teens wearing these days oh I just felt like a cricket ran across my stomach get a jar sweethe that's your baby kicking no way that's the baby V you want to come feel no thanks I believe you well hello my sweet little grandchild nice to meet you here cheyen just felt the baby it's probably only gas I do not get gas sh we shared a room come on Van come feel your son or daughter there really is a baby in there wow I made that how okay time to get dressed my roots are planted in the past though my life is changing fast who I am is who I want to be a single mom who works too hard who loves her kids and never stops with gentle hands and the Heart of a fighter I'm a surviv okay well tell Daddy I love him and thank him for the book yeah if I ever decide to hunt elk it'll come in handy okay love you too bye Lori and Garner R Las [Applause] Vegas you're never going to let me live that down are you hey I'm not the one that jumped on stage in M Tom Jones I was just trying to get my panties back get in here what brings you to town you are not going to believe this my company is reload loating here in the spring you're moving back to Houston can you believe it fman Louise back in Action mild mannered Suburban women by day hot divorces by night I'm not sure I'm the hot divorce type amem I of course you are you just need to learn the ropes and how to use some all right catch me up how's the divorce going well right now we're at the disillusion of property stage two words of advice kill him I took Robert for everything he had and he deserved it sleeping with your housekeeper no that was John husband number two I kind of miss him and so does my housekeeper say if I have the proper tools at Job hello Brock hello laurian Ma you put on on a few pounds that's my fault we eat cake in bed you must be barbering please everybody calls me BJ I wonder why hey laurianne you might want to run outside I think you're about to tow your broom barene would you go fetch Jake I'm going to grab the cordless drill out of the garage oh Brock here's an idea for you why don't you take all your tools back to your condo why because you live there Brock the lawyers told us to do an inventory so we can decide who gets what before we move on to the next step okay we're off to the build your own teddy bear store we're going to build our own teddy bears honey make sure you build a teddy bear for your new niece or nephew Cheyenne felt the baby moved today oh honey that's great I mean Reba that's great I've been feeling our little Sprout kicking too you want to feel my belly I'll take a rain check see you later Brock remember when you get back you're going to go through the garage with me all right reer how can you even let that woman in your house I know it seems a little strange but the kids need to see their father and BJ's with Brock so she's part of the package it was Brock's package got you into this m in the first place although you may have gained 7 to 10 lb the fetus weighs in at 5 O so most of that weight is you okay stop reading that no no it's fascinating feeling him move was like my wakeup call it's real now hi baby it's Daddy talk to the baby Chey it says it helps you connect B I'm pretty much plugged in already hey do you think he's hungry maybe he'd like a yogurt a piece of fruit m a banana sounds good no no no no I'll get it you stay here I want to do whatever I can to help the baby really well you know what else would be nice a foot massage I mean for the baby you think so mhm it relaxes me and if I'm relaxed so is he makes sense that feels so good the baby is so loving this man oh right there yeah mhm oh yeah oh yeah yeah why does this sound so familiar [Music] it always amazes me the junk a man can accumulate actually that's mine it was cuter in the catalog well there sure are a lot of memories in this old garage and what like these beat up old golf clubs I bought those for Brock when he was in dental school oh man he saw him in a store wind and I knew he just had to have them so I scrimped and saved and gave him to him on our third anniversary How does it go from that to dissolution of property oh we had our problems when I asked him to move out it was just to give us a break then he had his midlife crisis I thought he'd buy his motorcycle get tired of it and come home now it's here he's not I'm sorry honey divorce is hard but if it's any consolation the second and third are much easier now why is the side of two women hugging so sexy because men are pigs well then you must love bacing cuz you keep marrying us you know Brock the only reason men and women get together is because the parts fit so that's all we're good for huh some of you aren't even good at that all right you too Brock most of your stuff is over here you know Rea my storeage space it the condo's kind of tight then drive it to the dump on that motorcycle oh come on there are a lot of memories in this stuff say remember the day you gave me these you wrapped each Club individually yeah I remember get them out of here fine I'll work something out you know this divorce was going just great till you showed [Laughter] up you think I too hard on him hell no this is all good you should be celebrating I tell you what tonight is girls night out oh thanks I don't think I'm ready for the bar scene yet em I hell yeah r yeah when did Brock first start dating barara Jane oh I don't know let's see we separated a year ago so it's sometime after that are you sure why what are you looking at it's a grp picture of rock and some other people with lays around their neck oh that must be the dental convention in Hawaii I couldn't get away because of the kids so he took BJ no the convention was in '98 he didn't meet her until after that then why is she in the picture I can't believe this okay attention shoppers anything belonging to my cheating dog soon to be ex-husband is on sale now at rock bottom prices how much for this old baseball car Mr this is a very rare Nolan Ryan rookie card my husband would die if I sold it one Buck thanks you bet thank you what do you want for the golf clubs Mrs har Kei for you $10 I only have five sold now why did that feel so good Revenge always does you know even at these FES you're going to have a nice little pile of M money and I'm just mad enough to spend it all drinks on me tonight I like bitter R Rea what is going on it's a garage sale your stuff is flying out of here hey that's my fishing pole all right everybody put everything down and get out of my garage what are you insane where are my golf clubs here they are they take up less room this way Rea why are you selling all my stuff because most of it isn't flammable what did you do to her who did you do in Hawaii Brock let me ask you something when did you and BJ get together oh come on we've been through this come on tell me when I don't know uh 10 months ago after she started working for me why so you never knew her before you hired her well of course not you're a liar recognize the woman in the Beret re where'd this come from wrong answer no I I know this looks bad but it's not what it seems oh come on Brock she's standing right there in front of you but it's impossible I didn't even know her back then I did not have sex with that woman I didn't well not then like I didn't even know Rea I swear I am telling the truth look Brock I've cut you a lot of slack because we've been married for 20 years and have three beautiful children together but you crossed a line you were cheating on me while you were still living in our house no no no Rea look you got to listen to me now get out Rea I swear I'm to get out yeah but out [Music] van did the baby and I spot a brownie in the kitchen yes you did can I have it no you can't chocolate has caffeine that's a drug F the amount of caffeine in a brownie is like nothing yeah maybe to you but to a 5 O baby it's a major score I'll just watch TV oh no no no no no cartoons they're way too violent that dog has a giant mou behind its back then the baby's in my uterus not in a pouch looking out okay it still can affect him we need a cut way back on TV let me get this straight you want me to give up chocolate and television what's next sex about that oh no no no no I like it too but knowing he's right there suddenly makes it weird please why are you fighting me on this because you're starting to get really annoying you weren complaining when I was brushing your hair well that was far less annoying okay maybe I'm going a little overboard but I want to be the best father this Baby's ever had you have no idea how happy that makes me but other stuff makes me happy too yeah I'll admit I'm having second thoughts on sex thank goodness but only late at night when the baby's sleeping and you have to be very quiet hey I am not the one screaming go van let's grab that table Rea you have got to quit dwelling on Brock what you doing to yourself it and healthy bartender two shots of tequila I'm trying laurian but it's not easy I look back on my life and wonder how many other lives there were that fishing trip he took every year was he after bass or BJ in those dental emergencies just exactly who was he drilling honey stop torturing yourself the important thing is you're moving on that was mine I trusted that man I swear if they were right in front of me I'd throw bottle the both of them would you settle for one hello reer what are you doing here oh wait I know you're waiting to see if I meet a man so you can snatch him away from me Rea I understand why you're suddenly so angry at me suddenly but I'm not here on my own behalf I'm here because of Brock I've never seen him so upset BJ I I have nothing to say to you and ask for Brock my lawyer will do the talking you go girl Rea I was not at that convention with Brock in fact I didn't even know Brock back then I didn't believe Brock and guess what I don't believe you either but it's the truth BJ you were there you were in the picture I know but not with Brock I was there with somebody else's husband what the little bald man to my right Dr Schneider look there are things I've done in my life that I'm not very proud of it's why I turned to God but unfortunately before I Found Jesus I found Dr Turner Dr Baker Dr Martino and Dr simps well Dr Schneider you already know about the girls a tooth tart I would just die if Brock ever found out about my past if she's telling the truth she just put a grenade in your hand Brock and I weren't together until he moved into the condo he would never have done what you think BJ it's been a [Applause] while Dr Gomez I got to go [Music] [Applause] hey Mom how was your night interesting why are you sleeping down here because I couldn't sleep upstairs V kept waking me up to ask how I was sleeping I remember when I was pregnant with you your father got a little nut too do you know he would actually carry me around so I wouldn't get tired oh I should have thought of that and then when I would get tired I'd fall asleep in his arms and when I'd wake up I'd find him there just staring at me I'd open my eyes and there he'd be just smiling and staring that is so sweet yeah it [Music] was R well just don't stand there these things are heavy so this is what the old condo looks like it's nothing like I thought it'd be well what' you think it'd be like Playboy Mansion Brock I jumped to conclusions yesterday and I'm sorry well given the circumstances I guess it wasn't that far a jump so what changed your mind it doesn't matter but what does matter is I believe you well thanks it means a lot to me I know we've gone our separate ways but it doesn't erase what we had yeah we had a lot of great years together you know after what I've done it's going to sound kind of crazy but in a way I still love you I know you do but things are different now and it's time for both of us to move on come by later and pick up the stuff that didn't sell hey Rea thanks for the golf clubs you're welcome oh and you owe me $100 for him that kid Keith he's a crook [Music] Mrs H I don't want to go in the car it smells terrible I'm sure it's better I left all the windows down I sprinkled popery on the seats and I put a half a lemon in the glove box hence from Heloise mom a mouse crawled into the exhaust system and died decaying rodent does not smell better over time hints from science whimps let's give it a try just a little bitty Mouse little bitty Mouse with a big old stink oh oh man that is back of the football bus bad okay one of us has to find this mouse come on Van you're not my kin good hopping what do I always have to do the big strong man stuff around here make Kira do it you are such a waste of testosterone oh yeah so are you fine I'll do it oh wait I think I found something yeah there it is ah hey the dipstick grab the dipstick you know my friend Kendall's family also had car trouble they took it to someone called a mechanic cost $500 to flush out this mouse stink or no stink I don't have the cash so borrow the money from dad every dollar of his we spend is one less for Barber je I like the way you think but no well I guess there's only one thing to do sell Jake K what he's the obvious choice Cheyenne's the promt queen I'm the brain and Jake's the spare I thought I was the spare I rich planted in the past though my life is changing fast who I am is who I want to be single mom who works too hard who loves her kids and never stops gentle hands and the Heart of a fighter I'm a Survivor all right I call you read them and wheat baby pair of nines see what you got Full House well one more King you might have had something there man can't believe you're stealing cookies away from Elizabeth you should be very proud look how sad she is Mom we've got to do something about that car I can't get the smell of dead rodent out of my hair well I still don't have $500 so let's shave your head I think you should sell this my engagement ring here what were you doing in my jewelry box putting earrings back you didn't ask to borrow my earrings you little poot come on Mom it's the the one piece of jewelry you're never going to wear again what if one of you kids want it someday an engagement ring from a failed marriage that's like wearing the clothes off a dead person it fits Cheyenne take that off that ring symbolizes a lifetime of unhappiness oh hi come on Mom I bet you get more than enough money to get rid of that smell and let's not forget I have a birthday coming up H well if I don't get rid of that smell this may be the year you get a car look what you're saying makes sense but just doesn't feel right to sell my engagement ring there such a beautiful ring my finger feels kind of empty now really cuz I could buy you a ring you can't even buy her a taco I can too buy her a ring I have a job now I'm clearing three figures a month that's okay sweetie you'll buy me ring someday too bad by then humans will have evolved into having no fingers shut up Kira I will not have [Applause] evolved hey Kira I need your help you're a girl you you know stuff about you know girl stuff are you getting your period I need you to come with me and help me buy Chey a ring okay wait wait you go why I love to see the Expressions on Strangers faces when you speak [Music] [Applause] what the hell was that the poverty detector it goes off if you make less than everyone else in the store oh man this place is way out of my league I still think we should go to Crazy Steve's rings and mattresses may I help you we're here to get an engagement ring cuz we're in love you're up it's not for her it's for my wife she's 18 so you're getting your wife an engagement ring won't she be surprised let me show you what we have any idea which cut the young lady would prefer pear Square Emerald well you know women the one that doesn't make her look fat right upper deck ring [Laughter] [Applause] dude could we see something simple like him this piece has marvelous Clarity ooh that's pretty it's $4,500 American that may be a little out of his range I'm sorry what price range were you thinking do you have one of those je you put a quarter in oh I see which direction we're heading this is called the promise ring dude I already made the promise I need a diamond if both size and price are an issue perhaps a cubic zirconium would be nice yeah baby that is what I am talking about my man you could have been a little quicker with these Cuban plutonium all right F it's fake yeah but it's big and fake I just want Cheyenne to love it look if it were me I'd rather have something real really really of course I'd also rather have a husband who didn't tie shoes by chasing the bunny through the hole [Music] what do you mean I'm not covered I specifically asked about this when I bought the policy yeah liability and mice both I asked for both yeah well you know what you're not a good neighbor I am stunned that didn't work hey hey hey we're back oh how was the museum you're not supposed to touch the pictures oh oh it's not your fault buddy you didn't know they should have a big sign that says alarm will sound you know I still have a ringing in my ears hey Rea there any reason why there are like 20 or 30 cats hanging around your car I've been delivering fish for extra money what's it to you oh what's with you don't mind her dad something crawled up her tailpipe and died that's your mother you're talking to young lady oh there it is so what were we talking about a mouse died in our car's engine ooh a dead mouse so that that must smell terrible hey Brock we should lend them our car while we're in Italy Italy yeah but don't ask me which city we're just going to roam Barbara Jean I specifically ask you not to say that anymore you're taking her to Italy my Italy the one place in the world I always wanted to go you said we couldn't afford it I got a great deal I use this internet site called bare bottom tickets actually I kind of found him by [Laughter] accident Brock loves his internet well honey though if this going to be a problem maybe we should go someplace else is there any place you're less bitter about we are not changing our plans I mean it's not like when we got divorced Italy became off limits right no you're right go you and I are divorced Italy shouldn't matter anymore go on have a good time oh we will and you have fun in our car but don't let any animals die in there [Laughter] CH g go get my jewelry box so you're selling the engagement ring oh yeah and their car hey Reba CH oh come on you're not still upset about that Italy deal are you CH mom your engagement ring is up to $1,000 on eBay oh hi Dad no way you didn't sell our engag ring not yet they're still bidding on it I can't believe you'd even think of doing that do you know what I went through to get you that ring oh I know what you went through Brock you went through your brother who went through a guy named Paco who went through customs with my engagement ring and his underpants can't believe you're being so petty that's our engagement ring I thought it'd always stay in our family that's funny I always thought you would stay in our family oh it always comes back around to that doesn't it mhm the divorce is my fault I ruined everything made your life miserable so now I deserve to be punished well not this time I forbid you to sell that ring forbid me well I forbid you to forbid me it's my engagement ring and I'm going to sell it then I'm going to buy it as long as you're the high bitter baby I will be Kira Kira jump on the computer and put in a fake bit of [Music] $3,000 hey what's this for for my lovely bride oh no what did you do if Elizabeth as a mohawk fan she's fine this is not an apology it's a proposal and this time I have a ring and you're not pregnant you got me a ring oh no B the diamond fell off what no no it it it's there oh oh there it is a dang it's too small I knew I should have got one of those big Cuban ones no no no F God I just I must have had something in my eye wow I love it you're just saying that no man I love my diamond my diamond van it's gorgeous what's gorgeous van bought me a diamond ring what here I am scraping and scrunching to get enough money to fix that stupid car and you have the nerve to go out and buy a diamond ring yes and look at it never mind Hey Rea I had a great idea while I was planning our Italy trip you should tell me all the places you wanted to go and then I could take some pictures for you I can tell you where I want you to go R Ary or for you it would be a reeba d cheek get it Reba bar je I've heard that joke all my life I don't think it's funny bar jeene come here I want you to see the ring that van got me [Music] oh my gosh it's bimo that means small doesn't it I just memorize a lot of words I don't know the meanings you do the same with English come on V I want to go down to campus I want to show all my friends no no no no I don't think we should show anyone an engagement ring should be private don't be silly I want everybody to know what you did can we not call it what I did Will since it seems we're all showing off Rings take a gander at what Brock gave me apparently it's an antique I think some old lady died my engagement ring hey if I had known he was going to give it to you I'd have never sold it to him give it to me re my finger won't come off you'd be surprised I can't believe he did that me either that Smoky smell is me sister because I am burned up I'm going killing right we are in this together no we're not oh really cuz for a second there kind of seem like we were you know [Applause] [Music] Rock R hey look at you over here all of a sudden and looking kind of angry I can explain really can you Brock well not to both of you at the same time you gave Barbara Jean my engagement ring first you gave me Reba's trip to Italy and now her ring next you be telling me her nickname was sassy shorts [Laughter] excuse me Rea I did not give the ring to Barbara Jean no she found it in my pocket and thought it was a gift I couldn't very well tell her the truth yeah that was never one of your strong suits and what was the truth Brock you bought your ex-wife's ring for a little keep fake honey I had to buy it otherwise it would have gone to Granny boots 72 from Syracuse well I don't want it now I want my own ring oh Barbara Jean oh I'm getting the Tiffany's catalog and I'm getting a tow ring too serves you right Brock what were you thinking hey I thought you said you didn't care about this ring I don't well if you don't care why are you so mad because I don't want Barber Jean to have my ring oh so you do care that's not caring that's hatred they just sound the same well you could have fooled me you know I still care about this ring Reba and it hurt my feelings when you said you don't well maybe I still care about it too but I don't want to just like I don't want to care that you're taking her on my trip to Italy so why do I well maybe because there's part of the past it's still good you know just because our marriage ended badly doesn't mean you have to to write off the whole dang relationship we had plenty of good times like when I gave you this ring I said I'd never take it off my finger and you didn't until that first fight when we were driving through Iowa and you threw it out the window we spent 6 hours in that corn field serves you right taking me to ow yeah we did have some good memories I guess it's okay if I keep this Rea you know I did I did pay for the ring twice now yeah I know enjoy Italy he you know what I I changed my mind I thought it'd be better if I took Barbara jeene to Paris my par [Music] I'm just saying you didn't have to show the ring to your geology Professor the guy's a rock expert Cheyenne yes van and he thought the diamond was very impressive because he's never seen one that's small before everyone was making fun of it Cheyenne van you're getting upset over nothing I'm getting upset cuz you won't stop pun punishing me how am I punishing you you keep showing it to everyone well that's pathetic saying two grown adults fatting over a ring I should have never gotten it it's embarrassing why don't you just wear my paycheck on your finger and everybody can laugh at that look I got an offer for you too I got my engagement ring back no I told you Mrs H I don't want it you don't have to take the ring just take the diamond wait a minute that would probably break the curse all right pop that sucker off I'm going to go get the glue gun no no Mom thank you that's very sweet but I love this ring exactly the way that it is why why would you love it because you gave it to me that makes it the most valuable [Music] fore [Music] fore fore [Laughter] for [Music] for for [Music] [Music] for [Music] for [Music] [Music] for [Music] [Music] [Music] fore for for