Reba 2024 The Ghost and Mrs Hart New Sitcom Reba Nell McEntire Show 2024

[Music] come on Jake finish up you didn't pour in my milk that's because you never tipped me why didn't you say something I was waiting for a commercial you're watching a commercial oh then can I get one of those Jake look cereal hey Mom can you pick Elizabeth up after work honey I can't I got to get Jake from Karate oh but I have a night class and Van has scrimmage oh can I get one of those okay fine I'll figure out a way to get Elizabeth oh thank you Mom you bet oh shoot I am running late can one of you guys drop off Jake oh I can I've got to take Elizabeth to a checkup B what about you sure I'll wait today no I can't oh well thanks for getting my hopes up Jake why aren't you eating I don't have a spoon is this your first breakfast hey Rea you got a second sure it's my slow time I was just wondering if Jake could come over to our house for dinner tonight it's kind of a special occasion we're having cake and ice cream what Barb Jean's got a new Beanie Baby seriously it's number 450 which is a state record Kenny come please I don't know it's a school night you'll have homework tell you what I'll pick him up after school heck I'll even drop him off now if you want me to okay fine but you owe me my rich are planted in the past though my life is changing fast who I am it's who I want to be a single mom who works too hard who loves her kids and never stops with gentle hands and the Heart of a fire I'm a [Music] Survivor hey hey Cara how's school good but I really missed you today oh I know you want something but this is one fiddle that says Play me Look is that a cat can we keep her please oh Cara you know your father is deathly allergic to cats what's your name well she doesn't have one yet hey maybe you clap clap kitty cat Okay the third well Mimi found her and her dad said they had to get rid of it well I don't know Kira I'm not even sure my dad's really allergic to cats he just doesn't want one he told my mom once that he was allergic to minivans oh he is Kira we test drove one please Bara jeene I don't want to sound all mushy but there's just something about her she seems like she's lonely like she need someone to love her like a certain teenage girl yes well okay we'll keep her hidden in the Attic no the [Laughter] catic oh that is a great place to hide a cat in fact it's almost say it come on Kira perfect hey van oh hey Mrs H how was work oh what can I say it's a dentist office people scream and we take their money hey Mrs H if I were to tell my professor that it's against My Religion to study economics would you give me a note to back me up van for the fifth day in a row no where is everybody oh Chey's over at Mr hes and Jake took Elizabeth to a mommy in me class switch that Jak's over at Brocks again oh man did he do his homework first well he didn't do mine I can tell you that no he didn't see that's the bad thing about Brock and barbar jeene living right down the street that and the fact that Brock and barar jeene live right down the street oh and Mr H called he said that Jake's going to be eating over there tonight and he'll walk him home later he's eating over there again that's the fourth time this week well you know what economists say I have no idea please write me a note and I bet they're not having healthy food yeah I bet they're having cake and ice cream and cooking hot dogs on a stick in the fireplace hot dog on a stick do you know that for a fact and I bet he's drinking sodas and playing video games all night long W this is an outrage I should March over there and keep an eye on him oh no no no no no no I'll do it I was a little busy and Brock took advantage of me I'm going to put an end this right now now be sure and bring back some hot dogs all righty this has got to [Laughter] stop thank you for your blessings Lord amen amen too late Rea but maybe if you hurry you can stop the neighbors from saying grace what's up Mom up oh nothing I was just passing by and figured it'd be really funny if I just came running in here like a wild woman wasn't that funny that was really funny thank you buddy so dinner huh what you Happ there Jakey it's Brock Elite is there something you need reeba like maybe a doorbell she can have my Brock Al just eat your vegetables Bud Reba actually Brock I would like to speak to you privately in the other room about what I guess I'm going to tell you in the other room excuse me bless you what's going on here it's called family dinner it's a strange ritual that we do every night at 6 please don't report us to the authorities Brock Jake has homework and I don't want him doing it when you finally drag him home when he's all tired out yeah me neither that's why I had him do today's homework before dinner that's tomorrow's assignment wait a minute you get him to do his homework and you get him to eat his Brock o and he still wants to come over here why I don't know Reva maybe for the same reason that I like it when he comes over here yeah why is that because H forget it it's silly yeah so were our wedding bells but I listened because it feels like it used to feel when we were all together it feels like a family hey well last time I checked we're still a family over my house too look I think his coming over here is a good thing now can I please go eat my dinner Hey guys cooking hot [Music] dogs hey Ma what are you doing eating chips look at this family size even the snacks are mocking me we're not the family we used to be Cheyenne oh no grandma died no Brock moved out Kira moved out Jake could rather be over there my whole family slowly moving three houses that away well M if you're feeling lonely van and I could have more kids it's just that at your dad's house they have the kind of life I always thought I'd have they sit down to meet loaf at 6:00 we have leftovers between commercial breaks we stink like normal people hey Mom look around that's America over at dads are like a bunch of French people I feel like Jake's missing out on the kind of life that you guys had I mean you're like the way it used to be right of course I did but we're all really busy I'm not going to drop out of school to have meatloaf at 6:00 there's nothing we can do about it nothing we can do about it there's always something we can do about it we can try harder try harder how we can start having dinner together ooh got to take a rain check I got a study group and Van he's really busy oh yeah well don't plan anything for breakfast we're going French just like those people Three Doors Down [Music] [Music] well clap claps doing great up there oh yeah she's fine I'm died well you're not cagus are you don't try to kiss up although good one I'm allergic to her I thought you own cats before the other clap claps no sadly clap claps one and two were imaginary number one died and number two ran away well is Dad sick too no you were right he was lying the cheat if I was to keep it a secret from him I would bust him up it I would let the cat out of the bag how you feeling honey I told you I'm fine God help us if you ever get sick Cara were you just up in the attic we have an attic well we need to call an exterminator I just heard something running around up there no you did it yes I did I meant yes you did I said no you didn't mean like no you didn't get out of town do that sort of thing um I've been forgetting to be more emphatic lately you really should get some rest and give the Exterminator a call okay okay I will okay K I'm sorry look this cat has got to go I have a puffy-eyed snot machine just give me some more time do it in loving memory of clap clap the first you know today would have been her birthday [Laughter] [Music] hey Dad who's Hope just me wait don't tell me you cut your hair listen I brought you a little something oh a cat you can't bring a cat in here shyen is deathly allergic nobody's allergic to cats oh yeah her eyes get all running her face swells up if she's anywhere near one even a pretty little little thing like you maybe she's just doing that because she doesn't want you to have a cat doing what swells her face come on Van please you got to help me just take me for a little while I'm very very loveable are cute oh I always like dogs how different could a cat be hello anybody home it'll be our little secret DJ hey sweetie hey Cheyenne you're your homework you're bar he is such a good dancer [Music] where did mob oh honey you look terrible man said I looked good fan lied you poor thing here have a seat and I'll make you some pancakes I can't eat anything oh please we can't have a family breakfast without any family even if you are all yucky have a seat okay and could you smile a little more see B was right you do look good and there he is now as soon as van gets here we'll all sit down to our nice family breakfast like the family that we are what's wrong with you a be day shut up you cereal Jake in a bowl just the way you like it good morning everyone hello dear hi hey there sport what are you doing Cheyenne filled me in and I want to show Jake that there's still a daddy in this house that paper boy I threw this under the sprinkler again this morning the little cuss your all bling knock it off and take off that sweater well not in front of the little [Laughter] ones so isn't this nice it's been a while since we've all eaten together at the same time so Jake how's school going little buddy I'm done who wo wo whoo nobody gets to leave until we're all done we're never going to finish can I turn on the TV no we're not watching TV you know I swear young man you keep looking at that thing and your head will turn into a boob tube we're going to talk now who wants to start off the Lively breakfast conversation well what are we having in for dinner ah good point hey hey why is everyone eating together oh my gosh Grandma's dead no we're having a family meal like families do okay well why is Van dressed like my science teacher here why don't you join us I can't barbar jeene told me she left my school book with you and I'd like to get it back back my school book the black and white book The Cat in the Hat he's wearing a hat the cat oh the book right Kira I want that book out of here it's making me sick come on kir we're having family time turn on the TV that's what I said we're not turning on the TV Cara Cara your uh school book got out of its box what you lost my cat you brought a cat into this house no clap clap was that some sort of dog man you get back here this is better than TV Elizabeth would you like a [Music] pancake Evan I got a joke why is six afraid of seven I must admit I'm stumped cuz 789 oh precious hey guys Ben why are you still wearing that sweater well chilly in the house and the sweater warms me and you lost your receipt from the thrift store and there's that too hey Mom what's for dinner hot dogs on a stick now the three of us are having chicken but Jake if you want to go over to your dad's for dinner it's fine no I'll stay here hey I mean it you should be able to have a family meal I do well not over here we're eating it all different times and I eat with all of you sometimes I have four family meals a day I'm lucky wow well that was a loaded wow what's going on up there Mrs H well all this time I thought Jake was missing out on something well Mrs H did you ever stopped to think that maybe that wonderful little boy in there has the best of both worlds I mean he's got two great homes three wonderful parents and a whole mess of people who really love them and isn't that the most important thing I think so how can that pot make you look so goofy but sound so wise goofy well someone needs to put a nickel in a swear jar young lady why don't I instead go make you a hot dog on a stick yes [Music] [Music] no I love you Rhonda [Laughter] man oh good morning van hey this is age if Cheyenne asks I was not out driving my new sports car she hates her man mom have you seen van where have you been here the whole time reading no the caterpillar turns into a butterfly I did not see that coming hey van is that the book where the caterpillar drives his fancy Mustang I knew it Miss his age van you have to choose it's me or Rhonda Rhonda oh van named his car Rhonda you ever met a Rhonda that wasn't after your man mom nope and the worst part is he won't even let me drive it her drive her and now we have to go pick up Elizabeth and since Rhonda doesn't have back seat belts we have to borrow your car again oh no not again you guys never fill it up and the other day there was a taco underneath my seat that doesn't make it yours van we are parents now we should have a car like moms it's practical and boring and responsible and bath uh uh uh Harvest Gold Harvest beige it's true Mrs H your car is a dull beige ywn mobile we a Bary okay fine take my beige boring car might not be hot and sexy but by golly you can put three bags of fertilizer in the trunk it's real pretty J by the way chicks love that hey Mom hey I need to ride to basketball practice Jake van and Shan just took my car you got to tell me these things okay Mom I need to ride the basketball practice we'll just take Van's Car it's right outside I don't think van w't anybody driving his car did he specifically tell you not to no then it's not a rule just like you never specifically told him he can't eat peanut butter straight from the jar [Laughter] he uses a spoon right he kind of makes one with his fingers gross come on Jake soon as I drop you off Ronda and I are going to go buy some peanut butter who's Rhonda guy with a family buys a silly car like this I think it's cool it's not cool not [Laughter] bad hey there Cowboy I'm going to name you Ron [Music] hey are planted in the past though my life is changing fast who I am is who I want to be single mom who works too hard who loves her kids and never stops with gentle hands and the Heart of the fighter I'm a surviv [Music] hey Mom hey so Jake said you were driving really fast he thinks you're cool well I may have had to teach a punk and a Camara little lesson when the light turned green hey mom guess what we need to borrow your car again guess why here are a few Clues van Rhonda D move no problem here you go all right we're family and family share I share my car with you and who knows maybe van one day will share his car with me apples and oranges so when are we going for a ride oh no sneaking Van's Car is my thing well all right but it would be a shame if van found out somehow you wouldn't why not I'm from a broken home fine but you got to wear that a scarf mom come on oh yeah Rhonda has a dress code oh well wow look who's back how'd it go I hate basketball I had to go to girl yeah little Zoe 11 lit him up like a Christmas tree so uh what's with the ghos well it's um mother daughter day yeah where in the ' 50s no uh at the scarf Museum it's it's great if if you're into scarves I want to go no you don't yeah we'll be better hurries first hund people get a new scarf not but Dad as long as you are my son you are not going to the scarf Museum Jake's right I am cool did you see that guy's face he didn't want to race me it was a school bus Mom I had a kid with me too didn't make me a chicken oh wait a second was closer to the garage be careful m stop telling me to be careful please tell me I hit you how bad is it oh I don't think it even made it oh good lord there it is oh no what are we going to do we we weren't driving you were driving oh no you were my accomplice yeah when we were on the road but when we're standing on the driveway I'm just an eyewitness she did it officer you distracted me if you had have taken the trash out those trash cans wouldn't have been there you told me to and you did it what's up with that fine blame the teenage daughter no I'm the adult I was driving I'll take responsibility maybe you don't even have to tell van yes I have to it's the right thing to do is it really think about it Mom van loves that this car was in perfect condition and now that there's a scratch on it that love will be tainted Tainted Love they've written songs about [Music] it here up I've been stalling van for an hour he wanted to go out to drive but I told him he had to clean the attic have you found a body shop yet yeah Hank Bender the autom mender guaranteed to fix your Fender in under an hour which didn't rhyme but it's good time you can have it done by five let's go where's the keys where's the car well wherever they are I bet they're together if the car is not out there then he must be out driving it I'm not out driving van Oh I thought you were up cleaning the attic yeah Mrs H what's the rush with the attic all of a sudden fan if if the stuff that I stored away and forgot about is dirty then why would I bother keeping it so where's your car well I let barbar jeene bar barbar jeene I thought you had a rule nobody could drive your car oh there's no rule you just need to sign the Ronda pledge it's a simple six-page document and you know why she signed it because she gets it gets what about a week ago Ronda and I spotted each other across a crowded used car lot and made a very special connection and yet everybody has been really critical especially you and Cheyenne sorry we didn't know Rhonda could oh we hear the comments the looks of scorn we hear them and they hurt you hear the looks of scorn I heard that [Music] one van Rea man oh thanks a million for letting me borrow Rhonda no thanks necessary Barbara Jean see page four of the Pledge well I'm going to go for a spin oh wait van did did you um vacuum the attic Mrs a did I vacuum the attic yeah did I vacuum the attic oh I put a huge scratch on Van's Car where back left yeah how'd you know lucky guess oh oh REO why me what have I done to deserve this it's almost like God is punishing you for stealing my mom's husband here I think we've moved past that well of course we have I mean me taking Brock is is what brought us all together you know it's it's what turned us into one big happy family right yeah until you wreck Van's [Music] Car oh gosh van is going to lose it when he finds out I wrecked his car he really is is he gets that look where his two eyebrows Marge together and he looks like that Muppet that lives in the trash can bar Jean even though I know this is totally your fault I'm willing to help out now go ask van to Bar his car again we'll take it down to Hank Bender's Auto shop and he can have it ready by five how do you know that well it's Hank Bender he's a legend no and don't mention this to anybody not a word great I scratched Fan's car you scratched Fan's car yeah why did I sign that ever loving pledge go ask vor's car again okay okay all right do I look guilty not at all good good it was me I scratched Van's Car whoa what you yeah I was walking by her and she gave me one of those smug looks so I whacked her with my purse on the back left yeah how' you know lucky guess look Mom van is going to freak out on me okay it doesn't matter who scratch the car no matter who scratched the car Barber Jean scratched the car okay okay got it oh I can't face him oh my jaw hurts stop grinning okay look we'll take it down the body shop if van comes down from the attic distracting all right but hurry at some point we're going to run out of shiny objects you know now that I look at it I don't see how that old lady could to put that scratch here oh yeah they're KY yeah let's get out here hey van yeah it's me van H what you doing well it's 2:15 every day at this time I wipe her down with a shammy sweet what are you guys doing bird watching woodpecker Nature's lumberjack B you need to go inside right now why bird watching look a squirrel uh gian's got a a surprise for you inside really I love surprises okay be back honey Nature's Lumberjack I know that's the beaver I panick hey there you are so so well well I think the score is tied should I keep my eyes closed um yeah okay hold on honey we told him you were going to get give him a surprise I don't have a surprise well then make up something ta oh my gosh tissues this is this is my big surprise is there something underneath there there something it's for your car yeah that's it yeah for your car uh remember the other day when we were driving and you and you sneezed and you didn't have a tissue T yeah it's a great gift you you always see those people driving having no strouble yeah what a better world it would be if everybody had a tissue when they needed it oh oh hey van guess what I just saw not now okay buddy I'd be in a bad mood too if there was a huge scratch on my car what there's a huge scrape on your car show me H maybe he's okay with [Laughter] it how could you [Applause] you're the one who scratched his car okay all right I have something to say Kira and I went to the scarf Museum which is not as exciting as it sounds yeah well I was just about to say that's the original paint job know which means that it's old paint which can't be very expensive so how's 10 bucks 10 bucks 10 bucks Saks man calm down it's no big deal no big deal Mrs H no big deal what if somebody borrowed your what is something you love peanut butter well there you go what if somebody borrow your peanut butter you throw me off by saying peanut butter and I know you know I use my fingers B Ben we will pay whatever it takes to get your car fixed up to 10 bucks barara Jean who's going to repair the scratch in my soul because you put that scratch there and the worst part is you signed the Rhonda pledge I want to hear it say it with me I hearby promise to um uphold sanctity I didn't read it I just skimmed it well you should never sign anything without reading it man stop torturing the woman the truth is it was me I scratched Rhonda with my purse and I'm glad I did it you did it mhm my own flesh and blood by marriage yeah and and you were just going to let me take the blame oh Rhonda was right about you look I was jealous okay van talks about this car like it is another woman okay it's it's driving me nuts it's just a stupid car whoa whoa whoa easy honey that's the man's car you're talking about hi shall never trust you or forgive you again shall mhm shall since when do you say shall you big jerk all right all right everybody just calm down this has gone far enough I'm a jerk I got a scratch in my car and I'm a jerk well I think anybody who puts a scratch there with her purse shall be a jerk stop saying shall shall shall shall shall shall who are you Cheyenne I mean what else don't I know about you oh well you obviously don't know that I won't take a backseat to your car that's very very confusing you know what I meant no I don't oh come on Van lay off your wife skinn my pledge six pages single space Oh come on R is tearing us apart how could [Applause] you I did it I did it I scratched your car not you not you not you me I don't believe you me too I've been sneaking out your car been lying to everybody on the bad one Kira was there ask her Kira is it true it's true and there is no scarf Museum what and even if there was no you know when I stepped on the gas pedal and that engine roared it spoke to me said drive me you sexy redhead it was you no way she's too responsible that's why I did it you all see me as this responsible sensible person that would never do anything dangerous wild or fun well guess what I'm not beige there's a side of me that has a Need for [Laughter] Speed Reaper oh yeah side of me that needs to Burn Rubber [Music] you burned Rhonda's rubber you put that baby into gear crank up the stereo forget all you troubles and show that punkin a camera a thing or [Music] two mom wow rer I shall never look at you the same way again F I'm sorry I dinged your car but I get it now Ronda and me well we're just two bad girls looking for trouble now if you'll excuse me I have to go beg brownies for Jake's field trip since when does Mom wear a scarf when she bakes never where are my keys Mrs H you have to sign the pledge FMA you're going to need a Louise [Music] mom you love me right sounds like a trick question but yes great then pretend I called you a bad name and ground me why hey hey who's ready to go to teddy bears on eyes I'm going to wash your mouth out with soap young lady you're grounded I hate you Mom thanks nice try Cara where's Jakey I want to get his picture taken with all the teddy bears he must be upstairs saying goodbye to his dignity what's the big deal I'm looking forward to it they have hinin untap so Hey listen I thought you said you were going to have Jakey ready to go he didn't sleep very well last night Brock he had nightmares any idea why dad let him watch scary movies you and the teddy bears started it so he's learning how to process fear it's a good thing well it might not be the movies that scared him dad it might be because Kira because what nothing dad's house is haunted wow how bitter am I about going to this thing we just let it go well the real estate agent told Dad that A former owner died in the house he didn't die in the house he just happened to be home at the time he passed away you bought a haunted house it's not haunted and next to toxic mold death is one of the best bargaining chips in real estate now can we please stop talking about this before Barbara jeene hears fine by me making barbar genene nuts is only fun when you don't live with [Laughter] her I don't live with her no no Reva you can't tell her oh why not because she might get scared and keep you up at night it might help her learn to process fear I am not kidding Rea she really believes everything I mean ghosts witches she even thinks the Bag Boy down at the grocery store gave her the evil eye I like that kid hey we're all ready I don't want to go I sat through your Christmas Pageant you're gone Barb Jean you'll never believe what I just heard about the people who used to live in your house oh really what hey come on we better get going if we want to beat the traffic come on J let's go wow I've heard of people dying to sell their house but wow okay everybody in the car away from Reba oh Brock I'm just teasing I'm not going to tell Barbara Jean that someone died in your house unless it slip [Applause] hey my RS are planted in the past though my life is changing fast who I am is who I want to be single mom who works too hard who loves her kids and never stops with gentle hands and the Heart of a fighter I'm a survivor [Music] she nailed the drawers shut and hid the knives not that I was looking for one [Laughter] why did you do this ghosts like to open drawers so do I since when since your ghostly Essence injured my husband's weak vessel Brock can you hear me I am not possessed Barbara Jean and there is nothing wrong with this house for pity's sake we've lived here for 3 months and nothing has happened what about all those noises I heard in the garage last week is that what you're worried about sweetheart I have good news it was rat well how about when all my Beady babies ended up in the attic that [Laughter] was you're right that was a little weird yeah that's no way to answer the door at a haunted house you're supposed to go you rang oh that's very very funny well I hope you're happy you made Barbara Jean crazy oh barbar Jean was born crazy Brock I can't take credit for God's work all right fine you made your point I won't let Jake watch any more scary movies now will you please tell Barbara jeene there are no ghosts in this house won't you tell her oh she won't listen to me I still can't convince her that the ghost won't get us just because we're not all in the same room Family Safety count one two Kira three please Rea talk to her she'll listen to you oh hi Rea you are reeba aren't you you're Reba all right oh and you can be number four okay what number is that lady going to be behind you girl what lady see no no lady there is no lady no because she just went through that wall oh my gosh is it suddenly chillier in here oh gosh like a grave oh I got to get out of here what did you do that for I can't help it it's funny funny funny you think it's funny that I had to spin around 10 times last night before I got into bed I broke a perfectly good lamp it's a little funny I can't stay here we're going to spend the day at the mall Rea yeah you'll be safer there or or or you could just hang out at rebas even better I'll see you at home Reba now it's a little fun [Music] on and that's when I saw it all the sticks at the base of that tree spelled out the words Barbara Jean but not in a language anyone's ever seen before Oh my gosh I know that language what does that mean go home well where do you want me to go Brock's still at work and kier's not home from school yet you certainly don't expect me to be alone in a house with a ghost you have a ghost oh yeah someone died there that doesn't mean anything where you get this crazy connection between ghost and dead people is beyond me you know what I wonder if anyone ever died here people died in our house not yet Hey Jake you want a popsicle oh I ate the last one okay how about a cookie nope those are gone too ice cream guilty I think the ghost at her house starved to death all right Henry and Elizabeth are finally down for their nap oh you guys thanks so much for watching Henry I couldn't possibly let a baby spend the night in a haunted house I don't believe in ghosts I believe in the circle of life AA you know it's great for Elizabeth to have someone her own age to play with I mean how much time can an adult SP playing peekaboo tell me about it where's Elizabeth I don't have to look I know she's right there yeah well we don't play those kind of games with h we give him toys that expand his mind Henry plays with that uh-huh wasn't that a toy for like ages five and up oh yeah but they just put those ages on the box to make dumb kids parents feel better so what does Elizabeth play with mostly her feet oh she can fit five toes in her mouth anyway I bet re's looking for me by now Rea hey wait Rea we need to get Elizabeth a tutor now [Music] so that's why I didn't become a zookeeper because once a kangaroo decides it doesn't like you forget it so tell me some of your unfulfilled dreams most of them involve you and a train hey well isn't this cozy oh Rea I've got to thank you you know I would have worried leaving Barbara Jean all alone with that ghost you told her about luckily she was over here safe with you all day long okay then I can see you two have had enough fun Barber jeene honey you can come home I found out that our house can't be haunted because the man who died there had a very peaceful passing oh really yeah and then his wife insane with grief killed herself and their pet dog [Applause] she was on her way back to your house I know I ni that one in the bud hey so it's come down to this barara Jean I got you a little something there you go getting rid of The Unwanted I saw it in thought of you a what is it it's instructions for cleansing your house of evil spirits but it's not that easy though it takes two people all night do you really have to have two people yes yep one two have fun Brock well gee thanks Rea unfortunately I'm not going to be home this weekend what he's got a golf trip in Vegas that he can't get out of hey I only get to play golf twice the rest of the time I'm stuck in Vegas Kira well don't look at me I'm spending the night at Tammy's you hate Tammy yeah but at least she doesn't walk around with a blood the axe calling here spot hey you know what Reba bought you the book I bet she could help you get rid of that ghost oh Reba would you I just can't live with an evil presence in my house then you shouldn't have married him I'm sorry Barbie jeene but there's no way I'm going to spend the night at your house chasing ghost well if you won't help me cl the house I guess I'm just going to have to stay here until Brock gets back oh that'd be great then I could take the later flight home I've just got one thing to say to you [Music] okay well I'll call you when I get to the hotel which I think is one of those really loud ones on the Strip I'm not going to get any reading done okay sweetems I love you I love you more hugs man this house is scary okay Rea I'm going to go get this stuff and then we can get started hope this weren't so terrifying it'd be fun BR next time you Le me for somebody make sure she's not a big old wimp it's too bad we can't all be as Brave as you Reba hey you got a spider in your hair nice try Brock look out ghost rebas busting a [Applause] move can we just get this over with please Okie do now according to the book we need to perform a seance contact the lingering spirit and politely ask him to leave he will then communicate his responses through the supernatural powers of the Ouija board made by Parker Brothers fun for the whole family living and dead hello spirit world residing here at 4282 Oak Avenue this is Barbara Jean and Reba Callin say hello Rea sup if there is an otherworldly presence in this house please speak to us it's moving it's moving yeah cuz you're moving it I'm not moving it you're moving it I'm not moving it are you moving it you're moving it aren't you Reba reer I'm not re [Applause] [Music] all right the kids are all bathed and ready for bed and Elizabeth is waiting for you upstairs to go sing your goofy Opera version of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star well singing opera won't make her smarter what are you talking about I've been reading these child development books and we've been doing it wrong with Elizabeth I don't think so van oh yes we have we've wasted so much time all that time I spent blown on her stomach I could have been teaching her the periodic table of elements man Elizabeth laughs when you blow on her stomach well there's plenty of time for laughter later when she's a chemist okay all right look I do not know what you are all worked up about I told you it is completely normal for kids to develop at different rates yeah but what if she's behind the other kids to begin with why would she be behind because of me maybe I'm not the sharpest tool in the chandelier you're plenty sharp yeah right I couldn't tie my shoe until I was 5 years old yeah and your mom told me why because when you put the little rabbit through the rabbit hole all of a sudden your shoes would turn into a spaceship or race cars and you'd run off in your socks playing this incredibly creative game yeah those rabbits were kind of hilarious you are kind of hilarious and inventive and smart and your daughter is going to be the same way I meant to say the sharpest tool in the I like the way you said it the first time I'm going to go check on the kids twinkle [Music] [Music] it wasn't a ghost it was a blown fuse hey by the way you got rats in your garage what are you doing you're not taking this seriously so the cleansing is off I'll just stay somewhere else until Brock gets back where my house you're not my only friend I'll stay at a motel bar I was just kidding around well I'm not laughing and the ghost isn't laughing and if he were laughing it would sound like and that's not funny you can't be afraid of ghost you're brave I've seen you eat a raisinette off the sidewalk it was a junior mint and I caught it before it hit the ground besides what do you know about fear Miss I'm not afraid of anything what does everybody say that I'm not afraid of anything because you're not you're not afraid of the dark or thunder or wearing pink with red hair which is not wise but you do it you're Fearless Rea it's not that I'm fearless it's just that I think believing in ghost is silly well you wouldn't think it was so silly if the ghost was after you what are you talking about if I tell you you're just going to make fun of me Barbara genan I'm already making fun of you all right if you must know the ghost is after me because I'm a a bad person what I stole your husband I broke up your family and now I have a way better house than you do so the reason you're afraid of ghost is because you think they're going to punish you for what you did yes oh barara Jean if anybody's going to punish you it's me and I promise you when I die I will haunt you every noise you hear every time you trip every bad hair day it'll be me Rebo don't try to make me feel better it just makes it worse because this horrible thing that I've done that I can't undo I did to my very best friend bar Jean we're not best friends bar things happen for a reason like maybe you're in my life [Laughter] because creeper I needed someone to run everything for me yeah I can see how that was helpful no no no you know what maybe it was I've lived through my biggest fears my husband left Cura moved out and things seemed to be just falling apart you know nothing gets scarier than that but because of you I know that I can deal with anything now wow I wish I had the kind of Courage brought on by deep personal tragedy well you married Brock that's a start so can we call off this whole house cleansing bit okay hey Reba do you want to ask the Ouija board if Brock's being a good boy in Vegas oh Barbera je you don't think that thing really works do [Music] you yellow wire goes to honey what are you doing being a man shy the heater is broken and I'm fixing it that's what men do we fix things is this a butter knife well I broke the screwdriver trying to get the pliers out of the garbage [Music] disposal V are you sure you should be messing with that I mean it's electricity isn't it all sparkly I have a book The do-it-yourself guide to home repair that book will teach you how to fix or build anything and after I'm done fixing the heater I'm building us a koi pond oh okay you what but that's Mom you better get your apology ready van I don't know why we have to apologize because you called her Barbara Jean I'm baffled I called her barbar jeene because she was coming over too much like barbar jeene and now if I apologize she's going to come over again too much just Madness and your little joke hurt her feelings oh it's comedy Cheyenne people get hurt hey mom come on in come on in MH isn't that the kind of thing that barara Jean would do no Barbara Jean was stand at the door pouting and being all sarcastic can't turn it off look Mom we are really sorry that we hurt your feelings we feel terrible because you realize it's completely crazy to compare me to Barbara Jean right yes absolutely van yes I was forgiven oh honey I've missed you so much [Music] so where's Elizabeth I want him to say hi to her she's spending the night over to her friend Claire's house so should I and I can do some work on the house oh well maybe I'll just pop over there and say hi to her yeah cuz that's what barbar jean would do come on people that's [Applause] funny see how God works I think I blew out a Feeling no just a piece of chicken okay well I am all done here let's fire this puppy up all right huh huh do I know my hot air or what oh yeah honey you are good you should fix the toilet next oh I can't the wrench is on the roof of the garage well a rat took my chips oh you know what you take care of home repair then you know honey I'm really glad we apologized to mom the only reason she comes over here all the time is because she misses us oh she doesn't miss us she doesn't trust us what are you talking about shyen she's still thinks of us as those irresponsible 17-year-old kids that she has to keep an eye on or we'll have a baby we are having a baby yeah that's another thing we men do oh gosh your mom just doesn't see us as the adults we've become we're grown-up Cheyenne we're home owners I think we can take care of ourselves yeah yeah cuz she's a little over protect active I mean we know what we're doing [Music] yeah that meter you got really kicking out te yeah well I turn it on high they my roots are planted in the past oh my life is changing fast who I am is who I want to be single mom who works too hard who loves her kids and never stops with t hands and the Heart of a fire I'm a [Music] Survivor hey Rea hey what is the one thing that Barbara Jean wants more than anything else in the whole wide world a panda bear that rides [Music] bicycle okay yeah but she also wants to go to the hot air balloon festival in New Mexico and I made reservations for us to go this spring really well let me ask you a question won't you'all be divorced by then not if I can help it it's why I'm trying to find things that make her happy that's why I booked this trip okay question number two weren't you the one that always wanted to go on the hot air balloons and didn't barara Jean always call them the hot air puke baskets I just don't know what else to do oh I know and I'm just saying this try to protect you you may have to face reality it may be over you know spending so much time alone has made me realize how much she's a part of me how dull and empty the world is without her right now there's a hole where my heart should be oh gag what I thought that was very moving yeah moving my lunch up Brock marriage is not a poorly written greeting card everybody knows you two love each other but that's not the reason why you're not together look I know it takes more than love to make a marriage work but I'm not the one who went out and got a a new career and a new life oh so you want her to go back being just your wife well I've been just your wife and it ain't that great you know what forget about it okay I'm sorry but you come in here telling me this cornball speech and you expect me to take it seriously okay maybe it was Dumb and maybe it didn't sound real but I feel look I'm I'm just trying to figure out how I miss my wife Mom Dad check it out hey buddy listen could you give us a minute right now we're trying to have an adult conversation okay fine miss the fire at Van Cheyenne's house the F [Music] what giant van let me in it's me and me it's us hey there guys how's everything was there a fire oh what oh a fire you know what there was a fire a little tiny teeny fire but you know what it was practically a spark thank you for stopping by bye oh my God look at that oh God it stinks in here I kind of like it it reminds me of my grandpa he's a pyromaniac where shy and Elizabeth Elizabeth's over at Claire's and shines upstairs guys calm down everything's fine buddy what the heck happened what's with all these questions what am I in trial wait a minute weren't you working on something over here earlier working on some I don't know oh no van you caused the fire oh yeah oh blame it on me I caus the fire yes I caused the fire we're responsible oh no no no no no no not we you you were responsible he tried to fix the heater with a butter knife and a book well it's your fault too oh I'm cold I'm cold put on a jacket oh yeah yeah man I said oh yeah I'm chilly why don't you ignite the house all right guys just calm down it's not that big of a deal see your mom agrees with me oh zip it Sparky all right everybody everybody just take it easy now look there's a very stressful situation you don't want to say something now that you might regret later you know what I should have never married your bought a house with you like that you know what Mom I think we're going to need to stay at your house for a couple of days is that okay yeah that's okay hope you got fire insurance I'm going to go grab a few things well make sure to grab my lighter oh hey I'm just trying to I'm just trying to make a little joke cuz it's just this I've been breathing smoke all day I'm not I'm very emotional what happened where's the fire put the fire out everything's okay and everybody's oh gosh thank goodness oh my Lord U Barbara jeene there's something I'd like to say to you yeah there's something I want to say to you too well both of you I got a new job offer today what I'm moving to Arkansas [Music] you're actually considering moving to Arkansas well for a little while and then the next goal is a major Market City and ultimately how do the words the CBS Evening News with stormy clear weather sound like the end of CBS you know what I should start practicing interviewing distraught victims I'm going to go find van you okay over there oh yeah yeah I'm fine it's really good for her huh things are really starting to fall her way you don't have to pretend you're happy for her oh I'm I'm not pretending R you know what you were right before I always thought that the same things made us happy but but this really makes her happy so I want it for her well then go tell her that tell her that you've change you got to fight for her no I'm not going to do that think I've done enough damage already I want Barbara jeene to be happy even if it means that I won't be now if you excuse me Reba this uh this smoke is really starting to bother my eyes because the people want to know van that's why I can't get an interview and he acts like the victim bar I think we need to talk about this Little Rock thing oh I know isn't it exciting well to be honest with you I think it's a little selfish selfish unbelievable for the first time I start thinking about myself and what would make me happy and suddenly I'm selfish I believe that's the definition of selfish well fine then you know what I'm selfish Mar isn't that the very thing that used to bug you so much about Brock but I think he's changed he really wants to make this work but Brock has not changed he just wants the past where where everything revolves around him and you want the future yes where everything revolves around you yes don't you see what's happening here you're becoming Brock Brock's becoming me and I'm becoming you you know what re I really appreciate you trying to help but you know what this isn't your problem I believe that every marriage that can be saved should be saved mine couldn't but yours still has a chance you know what I got to go if I'm going to go to Little Rock I got to tell the station here so they can find somebody else to do the weather I'm becoming Barbara Jean why couldn't I just be Dolly [Applause] Parton hey Mrs H thanks again for letting us stay here man I got to do some laundry my shirt's still still smells like smoke the washer's broken do you have your magic butter knife once again you've won an argument with your [Laughter] wit I'm not laughing at you did you ask her no I didn't ask her you ask as me what oh you know no biggie we just need to stay here for the rest of our lives what yeah we can't make it on our own I have failed in providing a safe shelter for my family I am a and a jerk I am a Merc Guys these things happen it was an accident mom we' have lived in our new house for 3 days and we've already set it on fire so what do you say Mrs H no what n o what does that even mean it means that you can only stay here until your house is fixed what well I I don't understand why I can't stay I mean I've lived here my whole life and all of a sudden I'm person n grateful listen to me you kids messed up and you're going to mess up again but the most important thing is how you respond to your mistakes and you did great you got the fire out and everybody was safe I I guess van did jump into action after he stopped screaming well I stopped screaming cuz you slapped me see the two of you can get through whatever mess you guys get yourselves into as long as you stick together you're a loving couple yeah you're a lle [Music] all right Mrs an we're all packed and ready to go to the house you're going back I thought you said it was too smoky yeah well the fire damage wasn't that bad I think we were just freaking out about being on our own but you fix that Mrs H you fix everything you and your tough love this is it so soon you know I I know you guys were going to move back but I I'm still really not ready for this oh M may we technically we moved out 2 days ago I know but deep down in my heart I knew you kids would come running back when you hit that first bump in the road now it feels like you're moving out for real we are no more words cheyen hug your [Music] mother oh he give me some of that hey what's with the Love Fest oh she kicked us out we're all very sad and happy we're sappy have any news from barara Jean no not a thing her broadcast is about to start she said if she was going to take that job that there'd be a new girl doing the weather so guess that'll give me my answer and now it's time for the weather but first I'd like to congratulate stormy clear weather on her new job she will be missed behind the weather desk and now for our new weather girl bill from accounting well guess I got my answer sorry Brock yeah wow life without barara Jean what is this family going to do without some big goofball popping in all the time hey guys well we just watched the broadcast I guess you made your decision yes yes I have can't believe I'm going to say this but after all you guys have been through and how much you me to each other I I can't believe you're going to leave well I'm just not going to stand Here let my best friend just ruined the rest of her life best friend best friend yes best friend I'm proud to say that Barbara Jean is my best friend it's more of a comment on my sad life more than anything well aren't you going to scream or hug me or do something to make me regret this I don't know you know you you wait so long to hear something and then when you finally do you you realize it's just no big deal you know what I'm kidding that's what best friends do they K come here you we're best friends best friends best friends best friends best friends best barbar jean there's something I'd like to say to you if moving to Little Rock would make you happy then that's what you should do I want you to be happy I also want you to know that I love you more than anything else in the world and I still want to be your husband oh my goodness if you'll have me I will follow you to Little Rock or Budapest or any place else you want to go do you mean that I've never been more serious in my life I still want to be married to you because without you there's a hole where my heart should be oh my gosh Brock that is the most beautiful thing I have ever heard you know anyway I'm not going to Little Rock what I used my leverage with the station and they offered me the hard news job here I am going to be their new woman on the street and I already have a title for my segment Babs Jansen street walker so you're not going oh Rea I couldn't I couldn't leave Brock you know every marriage that can be saved should be can't believe I'm going to say this either but I'm happy for you too I'm happy for you too I'm just so happy that that all our lives have worked out except for you you're all alone shyenne she's all alone no I'm not no I'm not six years ago I I thought I was cursed turns out that I'm blessed blessed to be in the middle of the craziest most dysfunctional wonderful life I could imagine and I love all of you I love you I love you too oh God this is so beautiful life's Rich pageant let's take a picture of this so we can have this moment forever a great idea now pull it together together come on hey kids come on in here we're going to take a picture everyone smile okay hey dibs not going to stand next to R but you know best friends hey did you guys hear best friends can you believe it Reba six years ago this family was falling apart and then I came in and I just put everything back together Barbara Jean that's not exactly the way I put it hang on Brock bar machine's right we got through it all cuz we're survivors in the my life is changing who I I [Music] thanks again so Jake what do you think about the highdef television it's it's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen wa till you turn it on is it here it's here it's here oh thank the Lord this is the best thing that's ever happened to me besides you honey Dan you do not have time to watch TV go change your shirt we're going to be late for my class Cheyenne I do not want to go to some stupid husband panel we have a flat screen highdef TV I finally have something to grow old and get fat in front run up man it's for my Sociology class and I'm getting graded on it the grade you own your husband well I hope they're grading on a curve man these women are coming to find out what men really want from Marriage you know what men really want for marriage I can't really tell you in front of your mother man you're going all right fine you know what men really want from a marriage a high defition flat screen TV Reba I need your help I am desperate no not now I'm going to go watch Dr Phil's big old Charlie Brown size head and high death Rock and IR being audited by the IRS re it is not funny I think we are in real trouble here now now you know how I've been doing all of our tax returns yeah what's the problem I've been doing all of our tax returns here take a look well right off the bat I'd tell you to stop doing the IH heart the IRS stuff it makes you look desperate I am desperate oh Rea I'm going down I'm headed for the Big House barber Jean promise me Rea if I get sent to prison you will do something to get sent to prison too and then we can break out like on that show you're going to have to get the layout of the prison tattooed on your body so you're going to need to gain some weight okay oh God calm down oh I love how tough you are when we're in prison I'm still going to be your [Applause] girlfriend Barbara Jean yeah they only send you to jail if you lie on these forms not because you put glitter all over it I would never knowingly lie I mean so so if I just made these mistakes because I don't know what I'm doing I should be okay right yes you should plead dumb trust me after they talk to you for a little while they'll let you off he they'll probably even pay for your ride home all right Dr Phil polish up that old bald head of yours even if we didn't go to prison I'd still so be your girlfriend my RS are planted in the past oh my life is changing fast who I am is who I want to be a single mom who works too hard who loves her kids and never stops with gent hands and the Heart of a f I'm a [Music] Survivor Rea we're back just like a cold sore hey that's a reoccurring mosquito bite the audit went great you are going to love yours what do you mean BR go oh yeah well it's a funny thing really it seems like once they take a look at your returns they get all excited and they want to go back even further how much further yeah well it's a it's a funny thing really wow is this new Brock yeah uh the last three years of our marriage you and I are being audited wait a minute we got divorced didn't you get the audits in the settlement Reba you've got nothing to worry about I'm sure that your returns are in order that's right Rea as far as you know everything's fine last time you said everything's fine I heard barene giggling in the background you remember that well anyway look uh it's really no big deal I mean you remember when Harry my friend from dental school set up that charity for us the Cayman Islands how come I never met Harry oh you haven't oh well we'll have him over for dinner in 3 to 5 Years anyway turns out that was more of a charity for the people who donated to it than it was for the poor caymanians so the charity was a scam scam is such an ugly word no it was more of an illegal tax shelter and I got out as soon as I found out but the thing is I never paid the money back and I never told you about it cuz you're so big on the truth and everything how much that's not a lot hardly anything so sell something and pay it back like that tanon bed you claim not to have it's a rental anyway I gave the money I saved to a real charity re I made it as right as I could but this is the IRS that we're talking about you don't tell them that you scam that you sheltered money from them they will crawl into places you didn't even know existed he's right Reba he can't go to prison I'll Al though it would be nice for you to see Harry Reba promise me that you won't say anything trust me you did not want to open up this can of worms I'll think about it now go home and tan up I need you looking good for the [Music] audit welcome everyone to I do is forever marriage from a man's view this seminar is forever and I wish I had a view of the game I me thank you everyone for writing all of your questions for our panel now let's meet our happily married men this is Van Montgomery happily married to me taken and that's Herman and that's Doug and they're married other women okie dokie first question first question why am I here this one is for the cute one well that's got to be me thank you ladies remember ladies these men are married especially Dan all right the question is how did you meet your wife uh we met in high school well thanks again they like me okie dokie next question for the hot one me again sorry Doug what is your wife's worst trait okay that's a good one van o that's a tough question I'm have to say I can't tell which of her eyes are prettier yeah isn't he Charming ladies but remember we really do need complete honesty in order for the panel to be helpful okay next question when did the really hot guy know that his wife was the one okay you guys this is ridic okay I'll take over now uh let me tell you a story how I proposed to my wife I rented a hot air balloon hot air balloon and as we hovered over the field I pointed down there and carved in the crops were the words will you marry me and I handed her a glass of champagne with a diamond ring the size of a cockroach and then She fainted so I picked her up gently and kissed her Softly on the lips and when she awoke she said the words I will I will oh my god oh right that is enough he's a goon and he is a liar he didn't propose to me you want to know how he knew I was the one moring when he asked me to homecoming and I said oh okay but don't forget to buy me a corsage and some diapers cuz you knock me up and I married her anyway because I knew I loved her when I looked into her gorgeous left and right eyes next question yeah how are are you getting home [Music] ladies hey guys sorry I'm late okay here I took some pictures of other people's children for you to claim his dependence although the the black kid may require some explanation will you knock it off Barbara Jean everything will be fine as long as Reva doesn't say anything I thought about it and I'm not going to lie what this is the IRS you have to lie you have any idea what they could do to us you said it wasn't going to be that much money yeah well see here's here's the funny thing it could be a tad more than I let you to believe do you ever stop lying well it wasn't a lot initially but what with penalty and interest it would be a ton how much is a ton well it would put you in a huge hole and Barbara Jean and I might lose the house what Brock you never told me we could lose the house I can't live under a bridge not again Brock how could you do this how could you let this get to a point where it would cost everybody so much only if they find out if you get on board none of that's going to happen I'm not lying it's bad karma it follows you around that's why you've had such a lousy life she's babbling and turning pink she's going to rat us out well you two stop beating on me that's their job now look Rea just let me do all the talking okay all you have to do is smile and Nod well you are a better liar than I am I just wish you were more lockable okay everybody Just sh all right the walls have ears trust no one for all you know I could be wearing a wire well actually I am under here but it's just to lift and seate will you stop hi my name is aent Miller come in smile a not smile a not hey aent Miller hey um I'm just going to go out there and play with my black child [Music] so Mrs Hart how are you today fine she's fine we're we're fine good I'll be working with Mrs Hart and Dr Hart you'll be down the hall with agent fun fun but but I thought we were going to do this together I mean you didn't separate Barbara Jean and me it's just our policy with divorced couples they're always so eager to tell on each other plus when there's nothing to hide no one one Minds oh well there's certainly nothing to hide right Rea Dr Hart will you come with me is this going to take long how long have you [Laughter] got fun just kills me so miss heart before we get started I have to tell you that the IRS is a lot more lenient if the taxpayer comes forward with any issues or problems I'm sure there aren't any but I have to tell you that okay mhm okay we've been over everything and it mostly seems to be in order okay but there is one tiny area of concern oh you probably know what I'm talking about Cayman what kman [Laughter] okay man lay it on me i' like to talk to you about 1998 I was drunk that whole year try to think back did you work for Dr Hart full-time yes according to this you worked for your husband full-time and yet he only paid you minimum wage was there any compensation paid under the table oh no no he's just cheap mhm he looks cheap anyhow that's the only problem we had great so you just sign here and we send it off for one final review and then you're done super great Miller hi F mhm mhm okay what did funk say oh just IRS stuff oh before you sign if there is anything that you knowingly and willingly omitted and you signed this the penalties of perjury apply perjury mhm so is there anything you left out something you might suddenly remember that you might want to share something your ex-husband may have spilled to [Music] fun you know I was thinking since those ladies at your seminar loved me so much I should write a book on how to be the perfect husband H you should write a book you should call it I'm a perfect liar and I met a girl and I made up stories about how I met her so I could impress stupid college girls which are stupid anyway it doesn't leave a whole lot of room in the cover for my picture here's my book I married a hot jerk oh I get it you're a little jealous cuz I got all the attention I am so not jealous oh please a perfect husband can read his wife why did you have to lie van is the truth about our lives really so awful honey what are you talking about I just felt like you had to make up some fantasy about what our life is like because you're so ashamed of it Cheyenne I made up a fantasy cuz that's what I wish had happened not because I'm ashamed of it because you deserve a memory like that you deserve to be proposed to in a hot air balloon not what you're pregnant what are we going to do really yes that's why you lying honey the the only thing I feel bad about our relationship is that I haven't tried to make it a 100 times better hey babe baby come here come here baby did you really mean that thing about not knowing which one of my eyes is more beautiful cuz I kind of think that too I me it all oh man I really should write a book [Music] [Music] Rea so uh how'd it go with agent Miller fine how'd it go with agent fun fine fine so anything you want to tell me Reba no anything you want to tell me Brock tell you uh-huh oh let me think let me think yeah yeah there is one thing you sang like a bird didn't you what no you're the rat anything to save your own skin huh Brock oh cut the ACT Rea it was you you should have seen the look on Fun's face when he was talking to Miller on the phone mhm mhm oh that very Ting no no no no no Horse Feathers my gal didn't call your guy your guy call my gal talking about how you were down there spilling your guts oh I didn't say anything I swear I didn't say anything either I swear wait a minute wait a minute wait a minute it was a trick it was a trick they were trying to get us to believe the other one was confessing to try and break us so neither one of us talked about the Cayman thing I didn't I didn't either oh that means we're okay we did it oh I always knew I could trust you Rea yes oh hello oh agent Miller time uhhuh yeah okay all righty bye we owe the government $775,000 what what are you talking about back taxes penalty and interest $75,000 I don't I don't understand we didn't tell them anything how did they find out phone broke [Music] me now previously on Rea the audit went great you are going to love yours [Music] turns out that was more of a charity for the people who donated to it than it was for the poor caymanians so the charity was a scam scam is such an ugly word no it was more of an illegal tax shelter I'll be working with M Hart and Dr Hart you'll be down the hall with agent fun but but I thought we were going to do this together I mean you didn't separate Barbara Jean and me it's just our policy with divorced couples they're always so eager to tell on each other we owe the government $75,000 how did they find out pH broke me what what so tough to heal well you know I was just passing to in the hallway and he said something about how would I like a cup of coffee and I said well hey with the amount of money we owe you I should buy you coffee and then it kind of all just came out arene do you realize what you've done now we owe the government $75,000 why are you blaming her you're the one that lied in the first place yeah cut it out clabber mouth okay this is not happening this can't be happening I don't have $37,000 Brock uh actually your share would be 37,500 I'm splitting hairs you go ahead I'll never be able to pay my half only have $18 in my purse I don't even know who's on the $20 bill you know they just put Jack Nicholas on the Scottish 5 pound note what I'm a sucker for all things Scottish I got to do something about this frock why me because you're the one who lied in the first place then you went and marri Kelly I can't shut up she with the wee little brain oh nice nice you know what Brock we can't talk to her when she's like this we should just leave and quickly Rea Hey listen maybe you could take out a second mortgage on the house fourth fourth good God woman what do you do with your money oh all right look maybe we can work out a payment plan with the IRS oh yeah how about a dollar a year for 37,000 Years cuz that's all I can afford actually be 37,500 year you know what just get out listen to you gives me a headache fine come on Barbara jeene let's leave Rea alone Reva if it makes you feel any better I'm disgusted with myself too okay all right come on let's not not leave it like this come here be my RS are planted in the past oh my life is changing fast who I am is who I want to be a single mom who works too hard who loves her kids and never stops with tle hands and the Heart of a fire I'm a [Music] [Laughter] Survivor do you really think that you're going to scare someone off with the lightsaber I will if I use the [Laughter] Force wait a minute an when I went to sleep last night didn't you have hair yeah I know well you know how I like to go to bed with gum in my mouth well I'm not doing that anymore intruder stop it's Mom cleaning the oven at 2:00 in the morning hey maybe she's sleep cleaning I'm not asleep I got to figure a way out of this IRS debt and I do my best thinking what I'm drinking I mean cleaning well is there anything that makes you want to cook cuz I think the best when I'm eating we've got big financial problems here we're making some cutbacks you ate yesterday so technically today is your day off okay I'm also thinking about selling the car you're not going to get much for your car not my car Van's Car no you will not sell Rhonda I will see you go to prison before I let that happen hey bar Jane how did you get in here I climbed on your bedroom window I'm not knocking on your door at 2: in the morning Rea that would be rude why are you even here at all because Brocks decided to sell our house what he feels so guilty he wants to pay the whole debt and and the only way he can do that is to sell our house I'm losing my home Reba my child is going to be without a home does Mr H have a broker yet what man why would you even ask that you know that's no reason does he okay who who wait wait just a minute Brock is taking care of the whole debt with the IRS and I'm not going to have you as a neighbor yeah isn't it awful it's awfully something I know I mean if I move out of this block I'm never going to see you anymore oh no sure you will Barbara jeene you can set up L twice a week shyan don't help me Barbara jeene I I don't know what you want me to do re I want you to get Brock to change his mind I mean after all you're the one that put that awful thought into Brock's weak impliable brain no no no I I just told Brock to fix the problem his weak and plowable brain came up with the rest yeah well I blame you of course you do barar Jean and you know a good way to get back at her use me as your real her well how would that get back at her I'll drop her she's dead weight to me anyway and I've been thinking about going solo no you haven't yes I have and I don't think I can work with Mrs H after what she's done well what is it Reba do I hire your backstabbing partner or do you help me I'm sorry barbar Jean come on Barber jeene I'm going to find you a wonderful new home where you can feel safe what's your price range not much then I can't guarantee safe here let me walk you [Music] home hey Barbera Jean is this a bad time well actually yeah Henry was smile everything's all sparkly this is Jenny she's going to be taking pictures for the brochure hello oh van wait and since Jenny was going to be here I figured she'd take some pictures of me working my realter magic down here by the couch but van van oh that's nice Ben I like that b b b b stop okay as much as I'm enjoying the light show we're not going to need to make your brochure anymore sure we are remember this is how we're going to get back at Mrs H yeah but van I don't want to get back at re anymore mhm got it okay barbine don't start yelling at me I'm just here to help van with this brochure but Mrs H remember we're no longer in business together you guys I'm not mad last night I had an epip ephany do you all know what an epiphany is is that some sort of booze no I was going over in my mind what happened at Reba's house and I said to myself I said babby J that's my American Idol name if I ever make it fingers crossed I said babby J Reba is never going to let you move away from her all right now let me explain Reba how many times a day do you call me zero and how many times day do you come over here and pop in on me never now how many times a day do I pop in on you 50 and apparently sometimes at night through a window exactly now there's no way you would put up with that if secretly you did it like me I think somebody needs to stop knocking back on the Epiphany man she always does this I get into trouble and she pretends to be happy and calls me a and a butt you know but then at the end of the day she rides in and saves me she's she's like my guardian angel with a really mean sense of [Music] humor Barber Jean this thing is bigger than the both of us we're mere ponds in God's great chess game of life and it looks like your pond is going to be way on the other side of the chest board oh okay okay that's right I'm a p all right I'll play along Reba okay van let's go get some pictures of the bird bath for that brochure okay birds take baths okay let me get my pigeon loofah hey Mom is Dad here oh honey I don't know I just got here myself well would you give this to him these have a range of over 2 miles so I can call him when he gets to his new house we'll do Jay and he's still going to be able to coach my basketball team right oh yeah you bet and on Thursdays we go to that Diner and have waffles we can still do that right absolutely honey it's going to be just like when he was over at his condo you'll get to see him all the time cool yeah and be sure to give him that walkie-talkie I sure will you bet hey did I just hear Jake oh yeah he left that for you he said he wanted to be able to talk to you when you get into your new house oh well I don't think it's going to work at my new place oh yeah he said it has a range of over two miles yeah well Rea we're not going to be moving around here we're moving to Las Vegas Hey Dad it's me just wanted to tell you I love you copy that little buddy [Music] Rock get back in here we need to talk about this what is it Rea you can't move to Las Vegas sure I can it's one of the fastest growing cities in America and they need dentists young ambitious dentists you're not even two out of three of those things and what about Jake a to tell you the truth I think Jake could be better off without me that's not true Jake still needs a father does he you know this whole IRS thing has made me realize it's just one more time that I've hurt the people I care about I mean face it re I'm like a tornado made a mess of my life and everyone else's life I'm close to I can't believe you're even considering this yeah well I am so you're tearing this family apart over money brck you're making a huge mistake you know what you may be right but fortunately making mistakes seems to be the only thing that I've been good at lately yeah that and being a butt stupid stupid stupid stupid uh-oh you're muttering someone did something dumb only your dad could take a wonderful gesture like moving barbar jeene away from me and wreck it he wants to move to Las Vegas what yeah yeah yeah he wants to move far away cuz he's on this kick about all the bad stuff he's done and how he's ruined everybody else's lives well Mom that is so not true Did did you tell him how great he is did you remind him about the good stuff that he's done I I don't think I'm the best person for that job Mom Vegas we have to do something I don't want Dad mve to [Laughter] Utah sh Las Vegas is in Nevada oh I'm sorry I thought you said Los Angeles Jean just take a look at the property man it's a waste of time Rea is never going to let this happen she's a stoer remember B stop trying to sell him a house what why because I'm going to talk Brock into staying Bingo nice call babby J oh I knew you weren't going to let this happen oh reeba I wish I knew the words to reunited by Peaches and Herb I'm not doing this for you I'm doing it for Jake right right for Jake yeah it's best that we leave our bond unspoken we'll just share a look barara Dean she's serious dad wants you guys to move to Vegas what yeah the one in Nevada Mr H can't move to Vegas I'm not licensed to sell houses in Vegas yeah and I can't live in Vegas I'm not allowed within 500 ft of Wayne Newton okay all right everybody just calm down why don't we make a list of all the stuff that Brock is good at then I'll take it over there and use that to talk him into staying okay for Jake right for Jake okay yeah you're creeping me out okay yeah I'm creeping you out okay okay good things about Brock go I've got plenty of good things to say about Brock you don't get to talk he's not moving away from you cheyen pass pass well come back to me I'm not I'm not good at doing this under pressure pass everybody can't pass you get to pass B all right look I like Mr h a lot so let's quickly review they got a fair they got a divorce we got midlife crisis separation from the new wife ly to the IRS Financial ruin cheats at golf he's always in the bathroom when the dinner check comes oddly tan oh all right all right that's it I'll just do something on my own he's a caring and attentive lover Ming's over [Music] hey Brock hey what are you doing uh oh oh I was just uh getting in one last Tan on my tan Blaster 2000 before I send it back I don't want to stand out in the desert really are there a lot of orange people in Las Vegas yes well look Brock I was uh telling the kids about what you said about the tornado and running people's lives and man you you should have heard them singing your Praises really yeah what did they say uh well what happened is they were uh they were all yelling yelling about all the great stuff you you do and and talking at the same time and it was like a Love Fest was looking at the calendar saying what is this Brock day really what did Cheyenne say why do you push they couldn't think of anything could they no but they tried you you should have seen how hard they tried didn't that does that show you how much they care look I I I know they do I know they do I just don't want to hurt anyone anymore and that's why I'm leaving that's not called leaving Brock that's called running away and that's what you do every time things get tough what are you talking about what am I talking about I'm talking about when things got tough between you and me you ran to Barbera Jean and when things got tough between you and barbar Jean you ran to the golf course and when things are getting tough around here you're running off to Las Vegas I'm just trying to do what I think is best for everyone breaking up a family is not good for anybody Brock we did that once before let's not do that again in are we still a family Rea as crazy as it sounds yes with everything we've got going against this rock it shouldn't work but it does and that's why I'm able to tell you this you got a white patch on the back of your neck [Applause] [Music] [Applause] Mrs H I hope you're ha a PP y actually I'm C A BBY y I just talked to Mr H and thanks to Little Miss Susie dght That's you I lost two commissions the one that I would have gotten from selling their house and the one that I would have gotten from selling them a new one three actually cuz when I heard about it I was with another client I lost my temper and took it out on them excuse me Mr mcgomery what's a bonus room it's a bonus be [Laughter] happy so they're not moving to Las Vegas that's right miss suie two and makes for they're not going anywhere Mr H is going to come up with the money somehow to pay off the IRS that does not involve me getting a commission you know what we should put up a billboard of you holding a gun that says nobody move so they're not moving out of state yet barbar is still going to be my neighbor so how does that make you feel Mrs H [Laughter] pass well anyway I think there's something wrong with Mr H I think he's sick cuz he's got a giant red patch on the back of his [Applause] neck good morning Mrs Z you ready to go to the office the office isn't even open yet man the early bird gets the worm Mrs H that's why I like to go to the office to watch that sometimes the worm breaks in half it's so gross but it's really cool hey honey can I have some money before you go for what well I just have to get a few things these things they wouldn't happen to have high heels would they no not all of them uh-huh so can I have some money oh God it's so hard being generous that just take it all than just make sure you write everything down in your expense Journal see at the office Mrs H he honey expense Journal oh yeah that's a system that van uses to control our money he enters all of our expenses in the computer and then prints out these little pie charts that he's supposed to go over but usually when he sees the pie charts he decides that he wants pie so he never does and you're okay with that yeah van loves pie not that him controlling all the money mom d controlled the money when you guys were married yes and having gone through what I just went through with your dad I can think of 75,000 reasons that was dumb mom I really don't think van is like Dad there was a time I used to think Dad wasn't like Dad but surprise look I've thought about talking to him but you know money is just one of those issues in our marriage that's just better left not talked about okay Cheyenne listen to me money is not one of the issues in a marriage it is the issue in a marriage it is the issue underneath all the other issues honey a marriage has to have full and honest disclosure mom my marriage has full and honest disclosure besides I can always lie on Ma Spence Journal my RS are planted in the past though my life is changing fast who I am is who I want to be a single mom who works too hard who loves her kids and never stops with G hands and the Heart of a fire I'm a [Music] Survivor okay the termite company said we can tent the Hillman house on Wednesday great although you know what has always bugged me about tenting a house Mrs H what's that what if termites love to go camping wouldn't it be ironic if they saw a tent going up and they thought they're on this really cool camping trip and the next thing they know they're dead did you ever wonder about that yeah van I think everybody wonders about that so did you write that down in your expense journal what that decaf latte with a double shot of vanilla you do write that down your expense Journal don't you me no no no that's just for Cheyenne here's another thing I always wonder about Mrs H what if lobsters love jacuzzi and just before we drop into a pot of boiling hot water they think we're the nicest people in the world you know what that would be that would be ironic let's get back to Cheyenne for a second don't you worry that your financial system might make Cheyenne feel like a little less than an equal partner what why would it oh I don't know maybe because you don't have to keep an expense journal and she does and she has to ask for money oh gee I had thought about that well something to think about now well yeah I guess maybe it is yeah you know you know when you're not so busy thinking how ironic it would be if mosquito like those big blue bugs lights that kill them huh you know those big blue bug lights that we put outside in the summer what if bugs liked them you know hey guys party's over here and then zap I know you lost me oh you know like the lobsters we keep big blue bug lights out in the summertime to keep the lobsters away no the thing before with the happy dead termites that camp you know [Laughter] look Mrs H I don't mind if you have a few beers at lunch but I wouldn't talk to anybody else this afternoon if I were you hey where have you guys been just hanging out Jake had detention you said you wouldn't tell yeah Jake I say a lot of things yesterday I told the DMV I weighed 105 grow up so what did you do he had a soda at school they're banned I mean it's the same as if he brought a tomahawk or photographs of buck and women so how did you get a soda if they were banned from school kids s from their backpacks pushers on the street they call them pop daddies thank you Barbie jeene I can take it from here sweet Jake you used to be such a good boy we miss that good boy oh here's what happened I here's what happened your school banned sodas and you had one that was wrong now if you've got a problem with the rules you take it up with your principle but you do not break the rules now you get upstairs and think about what I just said oh hey Mrs H good you're here cheyen I thought about what you said about the money thing and I'm going to make it right oh glad I could help hey honey how is work oh great well except for one of the reers got hammered at lunch but uh I covered for anyway I have something really important to say to you okay I know what you're going to say van but they were on sale you bought shoes good for you okay well I put it in the expense Journal put it under asthma medication but it's in there okay forget these stupid expense Journal look I realize today that I'm doing things financially that might make you feel that I don't see you as an equal partner a honey that is so sensitive it's hard to go through life that way but I try to carry it with dignity anyway I wanted to show you how much I value you as a wife a mother and as a partner so I decided to pay you what yeah yeah I I I I uh worked out on the approximate value of what you do around here threw in a little extra cuz you look so hot doing it and I came up with a weekly paycheck so here you go you figured out my value you yeah you know stuff like cooking laundry daycare and I didn't include uh you know cuz that would be illegal why would you think that you could treat me like an employee would do you think that the money that we make is yours I say it's a big old joke Cheyenne man tell her it's a joke a big old dumb dangerous joke why would I say that you're the one who told me to do it what you told him to pay me no I didn't say that I just told him to thinkk about it you told they to think are you insane what is that is that an insult oh all right fine cheyen I'll answer your question yes I think the money that I make is mine and why would I think a crazy thing like that oh that's right cuz when the paychecks come they have my name on them you know what I cannot believe that I said that you were sensitive you're not sensitive you're a butt and as for you Mom I can't call you a butt because you're my mom but if you weren't I would except that I won't be talking to you so I can't oh and Van these shoes they weren't on sale and I bought two pair Shine in b go after her tell her you made a mistake oh I made a big mistake all right when I took your advice that's the last time I listen to you when you're [Music] drunk oh are you talking to me this morning if you are I'd sure like a chance to explain what happened hi this is Reba leave a message after the beep I'm sorry I've reached a number that I'm not speaking to all you had to do say no TR I know you're still mad at me but flushing the toilet when someone's in the shower isn't just mean it's dangerous so you're still not talking to me Mom oh you're talking to me now actually I'm just talking to myself out loud Cheyenne if van tries to talk to you try and figure out a way to let him know that you're not talking to him okay Cheyenne I will van it's van nice choice in the wife you Raba it's how's it working out living in a Nut House Jake what are you doing home aren't you supposed to be on your way to school this morning I was out on the lawn pulling Dand lines Nature's beautiful yellow garbage when I saw my stepson struggling under the weight of his enormous backpack what the heck is in there it wasn't that heavy when you left sodas I don't believe this it's not what you think sometimes on the way to school I run into homeless people who really love soda oh [Music] really and sometimes they need change for a dollar okay we don't have time to talk about this now we will have a long conversation when you get home from school now get Rea along long conversation is not going to do anything but I know what will military school Barbera Jean I don't need help raising my kids I've been doing this a long time they've all turned out pretty well you're just a big baby oh oh if some talking to me I can't hear that especially if they're a big where your diapers a big baby so military school huh [Applause] [Music] hey Mr H I need some advice advice you know man I always hoped we'd have a relationship like this you know that you'd look at me as a mentor as a guy that you could come to it today Mr H okay so what's the problem now Shan and I had a big fight about money and she's mad at me because I said I think the money I make is mine and I need to know how to explain it to her so she'll understand okay van it's time I'm going to tell you something now something that all men get told when the time is right it is the deepest Secret in The Fellowship of the husbands it's the Bedrock truth upon which all else sits it is today Mr H need it today okay you ready it's not your money what don't say it Mr H cuz if you say it then there's no hope there is no hope buddy wake up face it but the check have my name written on them the checks have your name on them you're an idiot all right look I'm sorry for being so direct but the best way is to absorb it all at once hey you okay I'm a little nauseous well deep breaths kid deep breaths and I once felt like you yeah back in the day when I also believed whether I was going to play golf that week was my decision but I found out I was living a lie you're in a marriage van there is very little mine and yours in a marriage and a whole lot of ours but maybe that can change maybe it's just that no one's ever tried yet huh there isn't a guy walking out of Divorce Court that didn't once believe he was the chosen one no man you have to accept this okay I can't accept it I I can accept that the money I make is also Cheyenne's I can but you mean to tell me that I'm not even allowed to say I think it's mine and now comes the hope there is a place where you can do that it's a wonderful place van I think it's time you learned how to play golf you're coming with me on Saturday yeah go golf yeah buddy hello boys what's going on we're just shooting the Bree Hey listen to this Vans comeing golfing with me on Saturday all yeah oh I don't think so honey huh you know until we get the situation with the IRS figured out we need to be more careful with our money don't you think yes of course [Laughter] [Laughter] look Mr a just go oh hey if you're talking to me hello if you're not talking to me hello anyway I'm no longer mad at you I discussed this with the people at my meeting and they suggested that I act with Grace the maturity oh shoot the boss is here we better look busy is that shiny enough for you Mr Montgomery sir I want to earn my paycheck what are you doing what does it look like she's doing she's acting with Grace and maturity you know Chey I don't consider myself your boss but if I did your file would have a big red sticker on it that said bad attitude you know what Ben when we got married you shouldn't have said I do you just said you're hired oh look at you you're talking to each other going to the golf course okay B Stop Cheyenne stop if you guys aren't in the mood to talk well I am so sit down shut up and listen she's going to say it's my fault no she's going to say it's my fault well you're both wrong cuz it's my fault no Mrs AG I don't blame you you were loaded look guys I think this thing between Brock and the IRS has got me a little nutty in the money area yeah well maybe but it's okay cuz you've been under a lot of stress I'm going to tell you the truth Cheyenne where there's money there will always be stress whether you have money or if you don't it'll always be a large pain in the rear that's why couples don't want to talk about it and that's where the trouble starts and that's what I was trying to prevent nice job don't avoid this issue guys it will never go away look I'm sorry I said I think the money I make is mine just because I earn it and the checks have my name written on them it's not why I got mad van I got mad because I don't make any money and every time I worry about that I tell myself that it's okay because I think of all the other things that I do for the family yes exactly and that's what I was trying to show you with the check well you know what this is going to sound stupid van but I felt like you devalued Everything I Do by putting a value on it oh honey no you are the heart and soul of our family money we can always find but you give us something that we can't find any place else you know what that is cheyen ISM you're just saying that no baby look I I could give up my job my stuff my everything it can all be replaced but there's something that can never be replaced you baby yeah let's try to never fight about money again deal okay so hey yeah what do you say we go upstairs and you make a little overtime you can't afford me wait a minute wait a minute a minute [Applause] [Music] hey Mom I was just going to my room to pray well I already prayed God wants you to sit Jake what were you thinking selling those sodas why am I in trouble for being a good businessman do you realize that when I'm a millionaire this will be the cute story you tell Larry King watch it Jake being dishonest is not funny yeah neither is being poor what do you mean by that forget it what's My Punishment I'm not going to forget it what are you talking about all everybody talks about around here lately is how we don't have any money well I'm trying to do something about that so you were doing all that just for the family yes okay Jake here's your punishment you have to listen to what I'm going to say right now and remember it for the rest of your life couldn't you just whack me listen to me honey you will have opportunities your whole life to break the rules and to cheat [Music] fore [Music] for [Music] for fore for [Music] for for for e e