Jim Cornette Reviews The Mercdes Moné / Britt Baker Contract Signing on AEW Dynamite

but Jesus to start this thing out if Brit Baker and Mercedes moon are your two big stars that you want to start your national television program at go home show for the wimbley stadium event with these two you're in trouble um and they they've agreed by the way Bri when they come out for the contract signing for the match is going to take place in 4 days they've been advertising for a month we we'll ignore all of these Loop because the WWE does same thing one would think they'd have these things locked down right but it's they've agreed to no physicality so that's all it takes just okay guys promise they're picking and choosing later on mjf and Osprey have been forced to agree to no physicality or elsewise they'll be fed but here they've just agreed to no physicality so they're going to honor their work do you see the inconsistencies yes and then sometimes they don't apparently don't have to agree because they always beat the [ __ ] out of each other and still nothing bad happens to them I don't know but anyway they need to get these two to talk to each other and you can tell that Mercedes genuinely believes that she's a big star there's some somebody put a quote up on Twitter the other day from an interview she' done with a podcast or whatever where she's oh it's so hectic doing all this press see that's the way she talks you it sounds just like her doesn't it oh yeah oh it's so hectic doing all this press that sometimes I don't even have time to go home and pack so I just send one of my team to a local mall to get the Necessities what the [ __ ] so anyway in the Attitude Era there were 10 million people watching The Rock and Stone Cold Steve Austin Trash Talk each other and beat a [ __ ] out of each other and now it's 600,000 people watching two girls have a 10minute scripted argument about whose initials are more important and Britt was a great heel promo because she was obnoxiously [ __ ] in a in a productive for the business way rather than Mercedes who apparently is just obnoxiously [ __ ] I don't [ __ ] know but this sounded but when she's a Babyface it sounded like she was running for office and speaking at The Rotary Club it is a and I was a foundation of pill and yes you paved the way for girls like me to want to dream I was the [ __ ] God damn it and and and while Brit's doing that the other think she's Merill [ __ ] Street and so was anyway I'll get to the point of the thing and then I'll open the floor to you Brian but Brit said well I agreed I wasn't going to hit Mercedes but the Camille is standing there who has done absolutely [ __ ] all of nothing to anybody right right she has not even looked I don't know if she looks sideways at anybody but she hadn't touch wasn't threatening anybody so she says I promise I wouldn't hit you Mercedes but this [ __ ] is getting on my nerves it Bops her in the head with a microphone well now Camille is wearing high heel shoes with heels so high and so thin that it looks like she's a stilt Walker in that padded ring that bounces a bit it's I don't know how she was standing up straight to begin with in a ring in these shoes but the point is for the spot that they're about to do boy it's s sounded great in rehearsal when they either talked about it or they actually did it but people weren't wearing [ __ ] shoes I don't know what the [ __ ] but Camille I love Camille she's got a great look she's wonderful she's fabulous she's excellent do not wear high heels even if you look a little shorter if you have to do physical [ __ ] in the ring either it will look like this or you'll break your [ __ ] ankle but when Brit Bops Camille she's got a stagger but she's trying to stagger in high heels and then Brit throws the contract folder at Mercedes and she has to do the flu thing oh I can't see and then Britt bounces Camille's head off the desk and Camille has to kind of back up and sit in mercedes's lap and then now they're both in the the comfortable office chair that they put in for the contract signing and Brit's deal is she's going to get up on the table the desk whatever and dive off and crossbody both of them in the chair and it'll look lovely because they'll go over backwards and wow right but no because for one thing certainly to God they can't have walked through this for one thing if they were going to do that spot they needed to have for some reason that they could have easily done with little set dressing of a [ __ ] you know signed placard holder or something they needed to have the table a little further than plum in the middle because not only is Camille on stilts trying to [ __ ] awkwardly sit down on Mercedes but Mercedes also reacted when the thing was thrown at her and the chair is on wheels it's not like a folding chair where you can go over backwards and it's going to go because it's got wheels in there's a bigger base so they needed more room but when Mercedes went back then Camille sat on her and then Brit dives off Brit's momentum caused the wheels to just continue going backward there was no Tipping Point over because it hit the ropes and they all just in a goddamn Heap did that describe what you saw adequately somewhat I mean adequately I don't know if I would apply that word to any of this here well I the description if they'd have had a little more room and if Camille could have sat down and had a chance to lean back a little bit because both of them needed to push off with their feet when Brit was coming from a higher angle rather than straight on and then they could attemp tipped the thing but it didn't it didn't work and sometimes these things don't work but but the heels made Camille look clutzy and otherwise you know this was lengthy your thoughts this was lengthy again I hate when people all of a sudden go to the you inspired me thing especially when it's someone who doesn't look like they're much older than you are if they are even older I don't even know how old Sasha Banks is compared to rip Baker well finish your thought and then look it up but that thing you know you're not the person you used to be I looked up to you when I was 20 like when did she look up to her exactly how old was she when she was looking up to her so that stuff sucks Brit Baker trying to be like more and more like Stone Cold Steve Austin every week is a bit ridiculous you know she's like it's like a countdown to her next injury and when Camille when Brit Baker was clearly setting up that something was about to happen she guaranted she wouldn't hit Sasha Mercedes Monae Camille was like leaning in waiting for it well she was she was examining the uh signature on the contract you know they put it here at the front of the show this isn't the first time where they put the women where they traditionally have the most audience both because of Big Bang Theory and just Grace you know if you're going to check out the show even if you're not going to watch it you may check it out at 8:00 and see what it is they're trying to get this [ __ ] over I'll give Tony credit because that's the only way you could justify any of these salaries they're trying but you know and and you know what I am intrigued to see what the match will be I actually em TR is it gonna be like the Tony storm Sera debacle on this show what is this gonna be this is not the WWE this is aw what will this women's match be I'm intrigued and uh you know Britt Baker doesn't need Jamie haters she got beat up everyone by herself well now come on sooner or later you know that they if they get another five or six girls on the other side then Brit might need help but