Julia Fox | Down the Drain, Charli XCX, Celibacy, Fashion

you know and and you don't want to send out the message that you're like a basic you know like it's just not the way to live hi beautiful human I'm Zach that is Dan we welcome to the studio for the first time ever the incredibly iconic the incredibly storied uh the passionate you're a true [ __ ] artist Julia Fox is here oh thank you you're a real one thank you you've also been through Hellen back to get to the studio today so really thank you so much for I really didn't think I was going to make it I really for a moment I was like I have to call and cancel like by the way way I would have understood I know I from your videos I was like he'll he'll understand that I need I need a reschedule can you give this one second to make an addressment the jacket looks strange oh should I just take it off yeah okay like sorry do you mind restarting can't do whatever yeah are you C or no you'll be okay yeah I just had it on but I don't care okay [Laughter] sorry lock that door I never want that to happen I'm the person who like just keep that in the episode because that's a natural organic moment it's a real moment you're right like who the [ __ ] like and who wants to restart no no I I need to tell you all about what it took for me to get here you lived my nightmare it was a nightmare and it all started on an American Airlines flight first red flag but it was the only flight that had the time that I could get on and I'm sleeping and the flight attendant comes and she tells me to put the seat up already so annoying but I'm like okay I'll half put it up I do it all the time exactly go back to sleep next thing I know I hear the and she's push she took the liberty of putting my seat up herself and then I hear a like a like a bullet like it sounded like a gunshot just boom like underneath me and I'm like wow these seats are so janky but it's American Airlines it's okay it's expected and when we land I realized I don't have my phone and I start looking for it and I realized that that loud crash was my phone getting snapped in half in the seat so I'm like you know what it's okay like I'm not going to yell at her like I'm just going to take the L I needed a new phone anyway I've had this phone for like four years like it was time for an upgrade anyway I'm due for an upgrade I have many upgrades so I just let it go but then I very quickly realize how dependent I am on my phone can't call an Uber can't I don't even know where I'm going so I take the shuttle to a rental car place get a rental car and as I'm checking out I realize they give little like pads like travel pads ads that have Wi-Fi so I'm like great I can use this to Google stuff and the directions then I end up at this hotel which I thought was the hotel I was staying at and I'm AR and it's about 1:30 in the morning now and I'm arguing with the man and I'm telling him no no no I have a reservation here I'm 100% sure he's like I don't see a reservation mind you I look insane like no like just look crazy my hair is a mess I'm dressed really weird you know like I have plastic bags I have bar is coming out of my bag like my bag is fully open and it looks just like it just looks like a garbage can what rental car are you in i h a Mustang Los Angeles rental car of course and I am telling man no I swear I and he's looking at me like who's this crazy lady trying to scam a room at this very nice hotel and I'm like I swear I'm there for 45 minutes out of nowhere Twigs walks in I go I say hi to her haven't seen her in like a year we're catching up and I guess he like clocked that and then realized I like wasn't a crazy lady and also I couldn't be like I'm a celebrity I'm famous cuz then he'd be like oh she's really crazy like call the police like you know like I was just like oh my God what am I going to do like I'm trying to like stay normal so he doesn't think I'm crazy but it's hard cuz I'm so cranky and I'm so irritated come back from saying hi to twigs he's like okay we found you a room when prior there was no rooms available and he was being such a dick anyway I go upstairs and I only know two people's numbers by heart bana who just came in and my other friend from middle school Cara cuz those only the only numbers you have are of people that you were friends with like pre cell phone and stuff so calling them on repeat nobody's answering me can't get into my email because they're they keep sending the verification code to my phone and I don't have my phone and I really was like and it's already like 2:30 now and I'm like I don't think I'm going to be able to make it and then whatever woke up super early and um got in touch with bana and she was like you're at the wrong [Laughter] hotel and I was like oh my God okay this makes sense cuz the man he told me that I didn't have reservation whatever anyway it's all good we made it I went to T-Mobile I got a new phone and I made it here on time thank you so much for being here thank you so much yeah crazy besides that genuine trip to hell and back how are you doing really good yeah I'm getting my period soon so I feel a little testy you know and this definitely didn't help but you know I think we're just moving into the age of Aquarius I guess and things are I don't know because all that happening made me realize how dependent I am on my phone and how like helpless I am without it and I never want to feel that way again so I think I'm going to just get an old school little phone book or something and like I don't know cuz that that is really like it was just getting worse and worse and wor like I just kind of yeah it is uniquely a moment where you can re realign priorities because like you dude you're stranded like in that moment you actually have to figure out based on what you have which thank God you had physical credit cards on you I know I had one card too and I was like what if it's like Max out I don't know when the last time I paid it is and if it is maxed out how am I going to call them and like verify like thank God for that like everything exists on your phone MH losing that you lose access to so they they have a lot of power over us yeah it's crazy it's very scary it is we have a lot to discuss here is like you are I mean I stated it earlier I mean you are a multi- human being but what does it feel like to be a published author in this way you know it was always a dream of mine to um actually I just had I came to a realization the other day that at 27 I made a fiveyear plan like a like one of those vision boards and I didn't actually have a board but I had a printer so I printed out all the things that I wanted and on the I'm just going to keep calling it a board even though there was no board but on the board I had um like a kid I had a Dodge Challenger which was always my dream car I had um and then I had a book deal was one of them but anyway and then I came to realization that that I got my book deal at 32 which was 5 years from when I made that vision board so I like and everything on the list I got it so now I've just been telling everyone make the vision board like cuz because at the time when I made that board it was like Wildest Dream stuff like I wasn't close to it I wasn't like I couldn't even see it but it was just stuff I wanted and and I and I honestly I didn't even really make a clear and concise plan to get the stuff I just said I want the stuff I didn't like actually develop the steps to get it totally I just was like I want this I want this I want this and I and I just laid it out on my floor and it was just on my floor for like a year and and now we're here there's something to see in that every day whether you're like consciously or subconsciously putting in the work to get there you're putting in the work to get there right look at your new phone ringing this is like the new phone I don't know how to put it on silent does anyone know oh my God you're USBC iPhone person yes I was like I had a phone from like four years ago I was still I was like in the Dark Ages welcome there's a button on the side it's like up uh up left corner oh it's new it's new got it done okay but this is not the first time manifestation has worked in your life for you okay I guess it didn't work can you do it I pre I said it was I pressed it yeah you you push it in oh you maybe you have to hold it or something got it there was complicating stuff it's like it worked fine before like why why change the little switch but manifestation in your life has worked before I guess so yeah I mean one of the moments from your book that stands out in my head is you manifested your first sugar daddy yeah I pray at night every single night you did yeah I mean that's you have that power within you I get but but you know what I think everyone does because I think the power comes with like believing it you know and I feel like if you believe it that's the power you know so when like that's why I always tell people like be delusional like anyone that's anybody was delusional you know like they did not true calculate where they were like they just believed it and they became it you know was there a defining moment where you realize that it does have the power to work was it when you were 18 you know what the first first time ever that I Ever Had A Moment Like That where I was like holy [ __ ] God is real or like something is real was I don't know if I wrote about this in the book but I remember that I was walking from my friend's house in Harlem like we were hanging out it was like 2:3 in the morning and I like for some reason wanted to go home which I never did but for some reason this night I did and I didn't have any way to get home so I decided I was going to walk through the park from the from Harlem on the West Side to Harlem on the east side and as I'm walking through the park I realize I'm being followed so then I start walking um through the tunnel I like jump on jump down and I'm now I'm on the tunnel where the cars go so at least there's some you know an occasional car passing through they'll see me if something happens and then and I'm trying not to look back cuz I don't want him to know that I know he's behind me cuz then he might go in for the kill so I'm just kind of like you know picking up my step like but I'm like still like hearing it and I see it and and in that moment it I got really really scared and I um I prayed to God I was like please God get me through this tunnel and I will it's always I will change my life I will be the best person ever never do anything but um and then I looked down and there was $5 and then a cab passed by and I was able to get in the cab and that $5 got me just across to the end of the tunnel and then I was able to like you know walk the rest of the way but it's like that doesn't happen you know what I mean like that's too weird to be a coincidence like I don't know cuz I prayed and then I looked down those five bucks and then a cab all in like a 30 second span and ever since then I became a really Avid prayer there's something even leading up to that moment where you've been so Focus solely on Survival up until that moment in Harlem right like cuz yeah survival was a part of your your early DNA and how you I mean you literally had to steals to survive yeah that what is can you just describe what that is actually like well I think when you're in survival mode you don't really have time to like dream you know like you don't really have time to figure out anything about yourself because you're always just kind of worried about how you're going to make it and how you're going to be okay wor about that thing following you yeah you know and it's always a thing it's always something you know whether it's a man or it's addiction or you know whatever it might be and so you know it took a like my adrenal glands are just like shot like I don't like I just like have like abnormal reactions to things cuz I'm like kind of numb in a way or like I don't know I can't it's hard to explain but people that will that know will know you know I just like I don't know I just you develop a really thick skin and things don't really affect you in the same way they affect other people or they do but like it you'll see the effects of it later on you know it'll like linger and you know come show its face in weird unexpected ways opposed to like the immediate feeling of whatever it is that's happening you know and that's purely based on the way you were conditioned right and the way you had to live yeah your story is wild Julia it's like I I've never I don't think this is society and culture has given you enough credit for your story and who you are as a person it is crazy thank you I know but it's like everyone you know what I everyone has a story like M like mine I mean I don't want to say that mine pales in comparison to some others but it does like you know people really out here also going through really terrible stuff you know and I just feel like I got lucky hello beautiful human every year millions of Gamers experience igss an adequate gaming setup syndrome luckily a cure has been found you have to go beyond with the vibrosonic mattress by beond sleep this thing has six built-in subwoofers USB ports for charging LED lights so you never sub your toe it gives you an acoustic massage when you want it plus adjustable degrees of comfort this right here is the best way to game ever here your igss today at Beyond sleep tech.com you like even I like it's it's kind of hard to even figure out where to begin right and was it hard going back so deep into your life to write a book like this because it was there is something to what you said right like you've reached a new phase of your life right like that last manifestation at 27 to now is like it's a totally different [ __ ] chapter different book I know I felt like every chapter could have been its own book like I was really condensing and you know like even all my really close friends that read it were like like you left out so much and I was like dude I know but I couldn't have it be like you know I wanted it to be like just a quick easy read you know like I didn't whatever I'm not you're amazing writer thank you yeah I love writing was it hard or painful to go back so deep you know it was it was but it was also very cathartic in a way because I really had to and that's also why I wrote it in present tense was because I really wanted to or because I really had to put myself back there and write it as it's happening so I kind of had to relive it in a way and I I feel like that was just the only way for this kind of book because so much of that stuff first of all it would come back to me as I was writing it which was interesting cuz I feel like like my friends all call me like the master forgetter cuz I just forget move on like never happened keep going forward yeah and you know that's also a survival mechanism to kind of just like black out and not have you know it's your mind's way of protecting you you know so I get it and you know a lot of it came back as I was writing and it was really really cathartic and really therapeutic and and by the time I was done I was really ready to just unload it all like give it away like I've been carrying this for so long now you guys can carry it you know or metabolize it in whatever way and shape or form and if it helps even one person like I did my job you know do you gain A New Perspective on figures in your life like your dad by writing this book definitely well um yes and but also becoming a parent changed my perspective on my dad a lot because when I realize like how hard it is I'm like oh my God he was a saint you know like I just couldn't see that because he wasn't perfect and but to like take on all of that and it be two kids and I was really a handful and you know I think I think you know we all just do the best we can and ultimately it's like everyone is someone's victim you know like it's just a chain of victimization it's like I think my dad was also a victim of his circumstances too and I think he did the best he could with the tools he had which weren't much because of the society we live in you know it's just such a bigger issue that parents aren't supported totally yeah and it's so hard and even just financially and um like just not having that Village and not having the means or the resources especially in a city like New York where there's just so many freaking people and it's like sometimes it feels like we're all just fighting for crumbs you know it's true yeah it's an interesting way to put it New York City really conditions people in a certain way yeah it's Cutthroat do you wish you would have maybe grown up in Italy not Italy per se but I definitely do fantasize about what it would be like you know living somewhere else and maybe like coming to New York because I chose to like I feel like I'm like a Towny like you know when you go to a town and you meet the locals and they're always kind of like I'm I'm that you know like I didn't choose that life like it just it chose you it chose me you know and and I and I feel like I'm like still at home like I feel like someone who grew up in a small town and they're still at home and they never like left the town like they were supposed to your home not Italy in your in your mind yeah 1,00% yeah what how do you view Italy what's your you know I I love Italy so much you know but I like I didn't really come of age there I was still like a baby when I was there so I remember it really fondly and there's been moments where I'm like oh thank God I had that kind of almost normaly in Italy where I saw the way that you know things can be and um like the love from my grandfather and my family over there and like they're just normal you know like it was it's not at all like the United States like and everyone's like the same there like there everyone has the same like moral compass code of ethics like what happens at this kid's house happens at that kid's house it's like it's just a different world so is that why you get kicked out of your host family's house for hooking up with your host sister's Crush yeah they but they wanted me out way before that they wanted me out like the day I came in I just love that your mom jumped at the opportunity to send you to some random family's home like down the street from where your grandfather lived that's her yeah this writing the book changer your relationship with your mom or your perspective on your mom we don't really have that much of a relationship is that hard you know it's I I want to say like it's hard but it's not you know and I feel bad that it's not but it's like you kind of can't miss something you never had you know like this is just what I know and it almost feels like awkward when I'm when we're trying to force it it just feels like like I just hate it like I'm like I like I don't see the point of it I just don't see the point you know whereas like with my dad I like actually spent every single day with this wo like you know what I mean like he knows me like I know him it's it's just different you guys have quite the story like I mean you you would steal out of your dad's wallet you became a pro at shoplifting and your did your dad really keep you at school while he went to film the chaos on 911 yeah but people aren't perfect parents are people I know they're just and I was so mad cuz I was like why didn't you take me with you like I wanted to go that would been a lot and when you're like nine or 10 like you don't like I didn't even understand that that was a big deal yeah you know like I was just like what it's just two buildings like a world a world war for two buildings like in my little brain I couldn't equate that now I'm like oh my God yeah like okay get it now um actually I don't because whatever our government is horrible but you know at the time I was just I didn't understand the severity do you enjoy raising your your son in New York that's another thing I'm like I don't know if I like I I find that I take him to the same park that I went to and go to the same school that I went to and it's like and I'm like I like is this really it like I don't know I can't help but think like or wish that there was more what do you what is more I don't know like maybe something totally different like in the country or like in a rur on a rural Farm like maybe the city life like isn't really what it's cracked up to be like you've had these moments you went to Louisiana right exactly and I loved I loved living on the Bayou and just being in the middle of nowhere and not having any neighbors and just like it was really magical and I like want I want Valentino to have that you know to be cuz there's something really healing about nature and I feel like New York is just the polar opposite of that whereas like La you're kind of in the middle like you know in Silver Lake you can still hear like roosters in the morning sometime you know what I mean like you still get that see the stars but you don't get that in New York like I was just on location for a film for a month in New Mexico and Valentina was like seeing his like first sunsets wow yeah like he'd seen them but like through the crack of a building or like he was too young to really remember it but you know at 3 and a half he can like register a Sunset and then it became a thing that he would wait for every night to go see the sunset because you can see the sky you know he'd just be like whoa whoa whoa and I was like oh my God my poor child like this deprived child doesn't even know about the sky it's honestly true I was like oh my God I'm like failing him putting it through that lens you prioritize different aspects of how the world works right CU you need that as a human being to be conditioned and to grow and to understand and also like I just see like you know everyone I came up with like a lot of them are dead most of them are drug addicts like there's really only a handful of us that like went on to be okay and it was only after we went like through hell and back and I'm just afraid like I don't want him to get you know when you're in a city like new York and everything's at your fingertips and like it's it's almost impossible to not get sucked into some you know some weird [ __ ] you know and and I just and I know my son and he's very curious and he's a little too friendly and I'm just afraid that he's going to like [ __ ] up and then I'm going to be you know like devastated so where do you want to go I mean TBD I have an idea but I don't want to say because I don't want anyone else to discover it and then move there too cuz I'm like trying to be alone with the goats and the chickens sick yeah like to me that's Paradise that's healthy yeah I mean I don't know if it's healthy but that level of isolation but I like I crave it I don't know why I just do but I feel like there's a medium right like you'll build a new community and a new group of people like you you have access to different things so you're not depraved you're just depraved of things that you're used to yeah I don't know I've always just had a dream of like living off grid and like pumping water from my own well having the solar panel I know it's like I that's like how deep I want to go like that's what off- grid is though it's like you have a well in your property and you have solar panels and it's all solar energy maybe there's like a like a middle ground or Upstate New York I don't know like no no I feel like there's something there's too many Trump supporters up there true scary yeah but I do feel like there's something to like listening to cautionary tales right like you've had an incredible Crazy Life and like you've seen what New York City breeds and brings right and like understanding what sort of balance you want in your life and your son's life moving forward is important and like I I I just make a parallel to the book is like you met a drug dealer Ace that would go on to literally change your life is that fair to say oh yeah but you knew he was a piece of [ __ ] cuz he was dating your friend and you found him on MySpace yeah cautionary tale is glaring as possible mhm but you ignored it yeah well I've always like loved danger you know like if I'm in a room and it's like not anymore like now I've really actually learned you know but it took like a lot of times of making the same mistake like walk into a room who's the biggest cockiest [ __ ] like center of attention kind of guy like life of the party that's who I'm going to want you know why I don't know cuz it's like I don't know I always used to say like if it's not like Earth shattering I don't see the point you know like it has to be like that level of adrenaline and that like like skydiving level of dating you know like it just has to be insane or else I just don't want it is that still the same today kind of and that's why I don't even date cuz I'm like cuz I know what I like and it's going to kill me and I need to just and you have a son to live for totally different thing say like and I've just that trumps everything else like nothing is worth even missing one minute of my son's life you know do you regret meeting this Ace and moving forward with that relationship no I really honestly don't really regret anything you can't no there are moments where I'm like H you know like I wish I would have called my best friend back sooner the night she died you know or I wish I would have stopped by cuz I was two blocks away from when my other best friend died I wish I would have just stopped by cuz I was in LA I was right there um like those are like the things you know but I know that that's like irrational and like there's nothing nothing I can do about it but other than that like any having to do with me like I'm no I'm okay I I deeply understand that I I you should give yourself as much credit as possible losing one friend let alone three in any amount of time is yeah incredibly hard and devastating I lost my you just never come back from it no I lost my best friend last year and it's been the hardest thing ever and how I she had a she had a chronic illness okay so it was kind of like you knew it was going to come eventually or it still came out of nowhere it came out of nowhere but like you knew knew that there was a possibility right it was one of those and um yeah it's really incredibly hard and grief is like weather like some days you remember the most beautiful memories and it's sunny and beautiful and other days it's cloudy and foggy you can't remember them that much and other days you need them deeply and it's a [ __ ] hurricane it's devastating yeah how do you how do you navigate it I don't yeah I get it yeah I don't I feel like I've just never been the same what you had a moment though with the medium that at least gave you some moment of yes Jeffrey WS oh my God or Janna for Janna yeah I saw Jeffrey WS for Janna and then I tried to call him again but he moved down to like Palm Beach or something so I'd have to like go find him again but that was insane and I've had other medium experiences where it's like I so badly want to believe this but I know it's [ __ ] you know but he was really real deal like he just knew stuff that nobody knew like stuff I'd never even vocalized before and he knew it and it was like pre uncut gems like pre Fame like he didn't he wouldn't have no idea like there's like a 60-year-old man living in L like he had no idea who I was yeah so that was really that was a lot of closure but you know it still doesn't take away the fact that like I'm like looking at the empty seat next to me and I'm like H you would be there you know and also like she would love this like she would be living for everything and like like she'd go on location with me like she was that type of like really ride or die like put anything she has going on aside which wasn't much but like just come with me on my adventures and you know I think that in turn like I distracted her from her issues and she could focus on my issues and then you know it was like like that kind of friendship but is that enough motivation to keep going no matter what is this idea that she would have loved to be here and she definitely is around you I mean sometimes that's the only motivation cuz I'm like cuz one of the thing Jeffrey Juan said to me was not to be boring because she's going to be there and she still wants to have fun so sometimes I'm like oh I don't want to do this but like I know she would love it so I'm going to do it and yeah I find there is some sort of peace and easy ease in MO like the slightest moments in navigating grief when they you can feel their energy in their presence around you because it does exist like absolutely it's crazy yeah I know it does I think that they come through like electrical charges like sometimes I'll just be like talking out loud and then the light start flickering or like you know things like that happen all the time where it's like it just happens so often that I'm like it's it's obviously them like it has to be them yeah yeah I get it yeah dude I [ __ ] lights flash things will happen things will [ __ ] drop like uh like in moments like I have like articles of my best friend's clothes they would just like randomly appear like on the floor nobody put it there weird [ __ ] yeah well I mean it's science like energy can never die we are electrically charged where does the charge go you know like it I think it just gets it just changes shape you know but I think it's still out there it's just maybe it's it maybe it's just a Consciousness you know may like I don't know I've thought about it for hours and hours and hours but I definitely think it's still there though I just don't know if we'll ever understand it trth mhm there's some peace in not being able to ever understand it too I think yeah well I think it has to be that way you know how much of everything you've been through is channeled into the acting roles you take is it a part of definitely yeah yeah like I'm really good at like super dramatic roles like the screaming the crying the fighting like that's I like Oscar worthy yes like I am so good with just the like release of the ah you know but then like the really like casual stuff like hey nice suit or like I don't know like that stuff I'm like how do the normal person say that like I don't know so like I get stuck on like the weirdest little things where I'm just just like what you know but um I've been really lucky to work with directors that kind of let me just like improv and do my thing and and I feel like that's always the best like that's movie Magic in my opinion you know like when actors are reciting lines it's it's just I can tell that they're reciting lines that it's not just at the tip of their tongue and they're you know what I mean like I don't know that's just something I look for now what is currently on your vision board um you know I I I don't know I can't tell you I'm like I believe it or not I'm like still in survival mode CU I feel like I just have so much going on all the time and like I'm really trying to learn how to balance I would like Valentino to have a sibling but it might be a journey that I just go on by myself you know that's really amazing yeah like he needs a sibling I feel even though we have a really nice thing going on and it's it's so nice just us to I do want him to have that cuz for me like my brother was like so instrumental in my life and I love him so much has I mean changing like having a child changes everything for you like like in life it's like you reprioritize everything everything becomes different everything it's like I always say it's like running a fine tooth comb through your entire life and anything that is and hair is just gone like it need like my life just got stripped down to just the bare necessities the fundamentals people places things like anything that wasn't serving me gone that's healthy yeah and you know but then it's like I don't know I look at other moms and it it doesn't seem to like affect them in that way and then I'm like what why is it so much harder for me that or I don't know maybe they're just not as good at moms as I am that could also be an option but I do think like rep prioritizing what you have around you and understanding what's important like should happen when yeah like you create life yeah I mean now it's like if I'm not working I'm just with my son there's no in between like I never like just go out tea with my friends like if I do it's always kind of like work rated or like you know but my friends come to me you know and I'm lucky enough that I live in a home with my best friends also oh that's great yeah so I have my little family unit you've done that for a long time it's always been my thing yeah chosen family amazing so important it's healthy too yeah and I honestly like anything I do I bring them along like my best friend from middle school Cara she's the most amazing producer she produced my music video she produced the the event party for it which was honestly the best event in the world like or Briana like we've been best friends since high school school and we started a fashion line together that didn't work out cuz I couldn't get my [ __ ] together but now she Styles me and when we work together all the time and like or Richie who I live with like any any like she shot the cover of my book always shooting me for anything and like I had Richie come be a guest judge Richie and bana both be guest judges on OMG fashion um but yeah like anything I do my friends are always Richie was in my music video she started my music video so and Banna styled the whole thing so like that's kind of how you know because of motherhood if I want to get to hang out with my friends I kind of have to create some sort of work situation and get us all together and then you know on the plus side it doesn't really feel like work and you kind of kill two birds with one stone and you get to be vulnerable create art you there's a bunch of pluses yeah it's really cool mhm what are you thinking why was it time to early me music now you know it it really started um during my book tour like I'd always wanted to do music actually when I was little I told my mom that I wanted to be a rock star and she like laughed at me and said that's not a real job like that's a hobby like just forget it and it really stuck with me like I don't even remember anything she says to me but I remember that you know and I just I don't know like I feel like the dream was just shot and I remember I was getting guitar lessons at the time like I really wanted to be a rock star and then I just kind of lost interest yeah I know and and anyway so it had always been something I like loved like music was always my first love my first Escape like I would listen to krock every single like all my peers were listening to Britney's peers I was listening to Nirvana you know like I was just I loved rock and roll I love you lived like a rock and roll life I did just without the music yeah yeah and um and so anyway I was going on the book tour and I knew I'd have an audience cuz I was going to be doing like a book thing and I was like oh my God perfect like I can and so I made a song with my other friend Ben who also lives with us he makes music and he also directed my music video and we made the song in like an hour like I'm not even kidding like I that's why the lyrics are kind of just like whatever cuz we literally wrote them in like a second and then he worked on it and made a whole song and um and and then it kind of like went on Tik Tok and Charlie heard it and then Charlie wanted me to perform it at the boiler room and then you know so it kind of like it's just been a domino effect I definitely did not think I'd be here like talking about that or because of that but you know people really like people really like the song and and I would love to make more music you know but like I'm not out here like you know trying to like win a Grammy or like you know what I mean like I realistic expectations like I'm only going to do this as long as it's fun you know the moment it like stops being fun like I have a I have 10day jobs like I don't need this you know what are the 10day jobs I act I have my show I'm writing and producing a movie right now um I might write another book we're still figuring out what the what it would be like how it be formatted I a mom I'm a single mom that also like takes up so much of my time so like if I'm going to take on anything else it really has to be because I'm having so much fun and it's like giving me life otherwise I just like don't need it you know did you feel fulfilled after recording the record yeah yeah yeah I was like okay wow we because Ben had been like hassling me like hey are we gonna because I had said like hey I want to do I want to do a song and perform it and he really like held me to it he was like okay are we gonna do it or are we gonna do it and then one day Valentino like went down for his nap and Ben was just there at the doorway like okay we're gonna do it and I was like oh fine and and then we did it and it was so easy it just flowed right out of us and and it just it just happened so organically that it was like meant to be you know like only song you've ever done yeah definitely how did you find writing lyrics compared to writing the book well I think he I think what had happened was that he made like like a beat or something and then I just started like I'm a [ __ ] I'm a girl I'm a and then and then we like wrote the The Hook and the bridge and all the things and and I mean it's it's different cuz like when you're writing a memoir you're pulling from your own life you know what you're going to write about it's it's there you know it's fact this was like okay but I but honestly it came pretty naturally you know not saying that I wrote a masterpiece but I mean like it was pretty chill and I've always been like into poetry I've gotten like my poetry published um I've always loved love love poetry and I feel like song writing is kind of Po like poetry it's not that far off so you're 100% yeah that's you're on it yeah you should do more of this more songs yeah why not I will I will I have some ideas like songs really are taking like fact and putting them through emotion and then like boiling it down yeah I mean it's amazing it's like what other thing you like listen to and it makes you want to like you know like that's like amazing nothing else does that what does Charlie XCX mean when she says I'm so Julia like what does it mean to be so Julia just being that girl and just I think just like like being confident putting yourself out there being out being about being the center of attention just being that [ __ ] so how did you feel when Charlie XX was like I'm gonna write this whole song basically about you I mean I it was always been a dream of mine to have like a shout out in a song you know and um and when she told me that she was shouting me out in a song and needed and wanted me for the video obviously I was like y'all check my schedule but inside I was like ah and it was the coolest thing ever and the making the video was so fun I was on like 2 hours of sleep actually um but everyone was amazing she got all the girls it was just like a fun Kiki for the girls she's amazing like she really is like so many girls are like I support women I support it's like no you support yourself you know you're the only woman you support and I feel like she really actually supports women and she supports unconventional women and like just women that Society maybe looks at and is confused by she's not confused you know she sees the truth so we love Charlie We Stand that's amazing she's amazing she's amazing she so freaking talented really special I know so do you remember the moment you realized you were like that girl like you were Julia in the song no no no no like in life like I mean uh not really no okay how about the moment when you realized you were literally absolutely everywhere all over the Internet and your life was going I was scared cuz I was like oh my God I'm I'm getting sick of me like what what's happening you know and also it's like it's happening to you you know so you're just like w what's going on you know like what does this mean does never happened before um you know it was definitely like a an exciting time but also like a confusing and anxious time like I dropped like 50 lbs I was like I didn't know how be cuz I was like oh my God I'm being perceived at all angles like it was just like you know I had to really constantly remind myself to just be myself and like this all this doesn't matter you know and now I'm at a place where I'm good I'm grounded again but also being you fuels that right like being you and just answering questions or saying things certain way it ends up fueling the exposure and like I know and I'm literally just being me that's like like the moment where you go from just being like a famous like local to being a globally famous person I know yeah cuz you were known in New York City but I was always a h celebrity for sure yeah and now you have your books are going for like $2,000 I know pretty wild yeah is Fame something you always wanted it wasn't something I wanted cuz I always felt like it was like not cool to want it you know like it was was like cringy like celebrity you like I still I'm still like I'm not a celebrity like don't ever call me that you know like I don't identify like I'm a famous artist period that's it like I don't I'm not in that world those aren't my people like I don't we don't I'm over here and they're over here you know that's just how I feel um but I always knew I would be famous and is it what you expected it to be kind of yeah anything surpris you about now being known not really no cuz like I grew up in like the Britney Spears era of like horrible people just being so horrible on the internet so like seen it all you know by the way like very like intense tactics Paparazzi tactics a lot like [ __ ] yeah I mean I guess what's surprising is just how mean other women can be to a woman that's always surprising cuz as a woman I'm like whoa like what's wrong with you you know like who hurt you like go get some therapy you're taking it out on the wrong side you know but it's all cycle you said it it is you know everyone is someone's victim so it's like obviously her husband is really mean to her at home so she takes it out on you know people she's jealous either her child or other women on the internet interesting that's like what a Karen is you know just like a sad woman with a really mean husband I think no I I I sadly think you're accurate yeah and that's uh you know cuz there you know you have to put that anger somewhere and you go to where whoever's weaker than you because the same way he's bullying you you need to go find someone to bully did you go to Y no I don't have time so how do you you figure this out through deep analysis and awareness I'm a really deep thinker were you always that way yeah really definitely yeah yeah yeah it's the way to ponder and navigate well you know I guess I'm just always trying to make sense of it you know and like I always as an aquarius I always see the bigger picture and how like everything's all connected and linked and not like there's no like isolated incidents like everything's all kind of like it's like all like a butterfly effect and true yeah and history always repeats itself Always by the way you got to listen to the book listen to it because you can do it on Audible you've been listening to it I'm halfway through oh thank you your life is just crazy honestly that this is like the PG version I was like so I was like I'm just going to dip my toes in the in the water and see how it's received cuz I I was like afraid to really go that cuz I was like I don't want to ruin people's lives like this far into the game you know like some sleeping dog you know what is it let sleeping dogs lie yeah like just it's not worth it the PG version yeah definitely what did you leave out he talked about everything in there my lips are sealed the dogs are sleeping down the drain there's going to be a link below to listen or you can grab it on your Kindle obviously it'll be there well you just revealed that you've been two and a half years celibate what made you want to one do that but then also just reveal that wait well actually I had been talking about it but I guess it didn't get like picked up in that way but I've been very I've been like very open about it and then when I saw the the Bumble ad thing going down saying like whatever it was like yeah right like celibacy isn't an option or whatever I was like well actually you know I'm but also celibacy isn't the right term because um celibacy is like you're you're not having sex for religious purposes so I'm not celibate because I'm like you know a follower of Christ I'm I'm obstinate I'm abstaining from sex because I felt like with the overturning of Rie Wade that if they were going to take away our rights to our body and our Reproductive Rights well then this is my way of taking them back you know that and I feel like more women should really get on that because we hold the power you know over our you know for the most part not in the right in the law but of our body we can say no I feel like not enough people are talking about the overturning of roie Wade and the fact that if there is an election in November that goes in the way that is not the Democratic way it's going to really hurt our country for for generations to come yeah it's going to take a really long time to come back from it and I I get not in our yeah oh yeah no definitely not in our lifetime um and it sucks because you know Biden is just not a good candidate and I can see why people aren't excited to go out and vote for him you know but it's like at this point we need to vote for the lesser of two evil like it sucks that our elections are so Bleak and uninspiring but you know obviously I'm going to vote for Biden even though I really I get it think he's a [ __ ] idiot you know he here's what I'll say genuine human being with a really good heart and surrounds himself with the right people consistently and has a track record of doing the right thing by the American people no matter what obviously questionable things happen that you may not agree with but overall look at the entire picture and vote in that direction because at the end of the day let's get inspired by candidates in the next election while this election's utilized to really ensure that our in alible rights yeah that like so many people men women children minorities they require these rights to live safely and freely and they all are so so genuinely genuinely at risk like it's not like Yeah I'm not like mincing words it's like this is not a [ __ ] joke like everything's on the ballot come November and I think it's hard for people to see that cuz you know so many of even your listeners probably live in major cities and but it's like no it's like all the people that are not in a city that are going to really really suffer the most you know they're not going to have the resources at all and by the way with what's happening right now with the Supreme Court and where it's going yeah it's it's changing rapidly and like the states being able to decide all that's changing rapidly and it's like we were really fortunate we did a terrestrial radio show for 10 years and we were on like 90 different like big and Tiny cities all across America we traveled to a lot of like places right in the middle and you're right people forget about what goes on there like I call New York and La the armpits of the country yeah and the people who are living in the armpits they have their headphones in like they just live a different life it's a totally different existence you know and it's like yeah we'll always have our the free clinics and the things but like someone down in Mississippi won't you know and it really is life or death and we need to vote with those people in mind too CU it's just like yeah I feel like people in major cities just have blinders on like they don't realize how freaking fortunate they are totally totally and and like now I feel bad for complaining that I grew up in New York by the way if you need to register to you should headcount.org we'll also put a link below I really ask you to do so and just to understand that like it's like Row versus Wade it's the the idea of health insurance right trans rights everything in life in society and culture is on the ballot in November and they want to take everything away totally and they want these crazy radical evangelicals to take over the country it really will be hand handmaid's tail like it really will oh it's really it's already becoming handmaid's tail I'm sweating right now but I don't want to bring up sweat cuz I know you have a condition no but I know my Hy hyperhydrosis but like that that anger and that rage is why I haven't had sex in two and a half years because how could I open my legs to a man who's not standing up for me amen you know what I mean I just got gooseb yeah like no you're not on my side so you can't come inside period it's my next song it's for my mix tap honestly yes yes an election Anthem do do you feel like the longer you go without it the less you think about it yes absolutely I think what like the first year I was like oh wow like six months oh my God eight months and then I was like [ __ ] it's really going to be a year and now I like don't even think about it like I don't care it doesn't interest me it's kind of like when you quit something like cigarettes like harder in the beginning and then you're like counting more and now it's like I realized like when that whole bum thing was going on I was like oh my God it's been almost 2 and a half years it'll be it'll be 2 and a half years at the end of May so and we're all basically almost at the end of May so you know and I've really truly never been better my [ __ ] smells like roses I've never I haven't had BV I haven't had a yeast infection I haven't had any of the issues that come with having sex with men no offense you guys um anybody but like it's true you know I'm healthy and I'm centered and I'm focused and I feel like nothing good ever comes of SE from sex you know like it's just always a headache in one way or another and it's like just not worth it for me I I relate I do I so I haven't brought it up in many interviews because it's been a while but I was a virgin for 30 years and I'm only 31 no really oh my God I love that that's so special but you know what that's why you've been so successful and had your radio show and all your things because you haven't been distracted by dumb [ __ ] and there was a moment in time where I was like oh like maybe I should focus on this and like it stressed me out for like six eight months maybe a year and then I was just like content with just existing and like I don't know living and like if it happened happened and you just forget about it you forget exactly but in the meantime you've put all your energy toward creating spaces where artists can come and a safe space for them to be themselves and you know like there's just so many amazing things you can do when you're not having sex what a beautiful way to just look at my virginity thank you so much uh really listen to the book and you can read it too on Kindle we're going to put a link below what are you thinking well I know you have to go soon but I want talk about fashion and OMG fashion oh yeah my first question is do you dress for yourself or for other people I dress for the girls and the gays for sure and me a little bit so I mean like when you get up it's is it almost like art for you like you want people to look at you like it's like a gallery and that's why you wear these outfits I feel like I'm the artist but I'm also the canvas and and that's really fun because I can do all different things on myself because for a really long time I didn't I just I wanted to look hot and that was it so I would just look one way like I literally wore a uniform like I would wore the same thing all the time did my makeup in the same exact way cuz that's what men responded to and that was my life and I didn't even realize that that's that's what I what what I was doing so now that I'm really free of that I just play around and I have so much fun and like yeah some people don't get it they're like she's doing too much and I would counter and say you're not doing enough you know like but yeah the show is amazing and I really care about the planet and I care about upcycling and I really do think the future of fashion is upcycling we're already seeing some of the bigger Brands catch on and they're starting to dabble in the upcycling too and I you mean like being able to like return your clothes and then resell it essentially yeah or just taking your your old clothes and creating a new garment out of it you know like there's so much you can do like the the things these kids come up with it's like you don't we wouldn't even know that it's upcycled because it's that spectacular and it it has to be the future fashion because we can't continue to fill the landfills with just millions and tons of old you know shitty fast fashion clothes how do you feel about like Zara and H&M and those companies just constant I don't want to knock it cuz I know that you know for some people it's the the price range and it's a good it's a good price range but I will say that for that same price you can go to a secondhand shop a vintage shop a consignment shop and buy a one-of-a-kind piece for the same exact price and also why would you want to look like everybody else everybody's wearing the same stuff from those companies like be different D to be different my favorite moment would be going to like coach with a friend who like got this outfit that they love from Zara and then within literally 35 seconds you see eight other people wearing the same [ __ ] thing and it's like come on you know I feel like your clothes should be a unique expression of who you are you know and and you don't want to send out the message that you're like a basic you know like it's just not the way to live like you really only live once and you should take every opportunity to express your uniqueness and not like I feel like we're so taught to like fit in blend in you know like just be like everybody else but like no you are not going to be living your authentic truth you are not going to find your path you are not going to find your people if you do that like you kind of have to unmask and be like hey I'm a freak for the other freaks in the room to be like oh my God you're my person you know like so that's why I love doing the show because I just I'm so inspired by these kids and they're so talented they're so talented they can create with trash is amazing dude like you it it's really it's like wearable art you know and it's it it's it's also just so beautiful to like you know take trash and make something so stunning it's like wow you know like and you know what you guys can be kind of brutal to these people you can be like no that sucks well some of it sucks you know not that they suck but obviously there's time constraints they start overthinking and you know obviously not everyone's going to perform well under pressure but they're all very talented even if they don't win the competition I will say that do you ever feel bad having to kind of look at them in their face and look at the dress they made and be like yeah this isn't great oh my God it was so hard in the beginning like I kept just being like L what do you think you would always turn it yeah cuz I couldn't it was like oh God this so bad but then I got I got comfortable and also um my stylist bana like will go and get everyone's contact like there was one um show who didn't win one of the contestants but I ended up wearing a little like two-piece set during my press tour that he made so you know even if they don't win I'm still going going to platform them in some way or another um you know it because it really is about uplifting them and and trying to spread this message as far and wide as possible yeah do you care about Comfort at all when it comes to fashion like when these guys are making these outfits in my dayto day yes absolutely I'm a comfort Queen like I don't care what I look like I sweatpants baggie jeans t-shirt like hat you know like sure but if I'm going to really do it I'm going to do it you know I'm going to really like seize the moment and go for it you know it's for me it's very much all or nothing there's never really like an in between like go big or go home exactly so I'm not trying to waste anyone's time it's like that in a lot of aspects of your life eh yeah absolutely I'm I'm very much like an All or Nothing kind of girl one of my favorite quotes from the show was uh you looked at somebody and said I love a Canadian tuxedo it's so American like that the funniest thing i' ever heard I mean it's true so true so true yeah you can watch a show and you can definitely grab the book down the drain you can listen to it to audible or Kindle there's a link below where where can you watch the show it's on peacock after it's on E and then peacock very cool yeah gra Mondays Mondays at 9: PM what's like working with law roach a dream come true yeah I well I had tapped law like years ago during the uncut gems roll out cuz she was really the only celebrity stylist I even knew who was on my radar so we went out to law Law's team came back and said she was too busy and but you know like I said I always get what I want and I didn't um I just you know I sat on it and I waited until I had the right opportunity to come and you know present something that she would work with me on so here we are it was Destiny now you got to get Zen to be a guest on the show imagine oh my God I don't know if I'd be able to like get through the show manifest yeah you're amazing thank you you guys are amazing you're really an incredible person like yeah you give such a special mom and incredible artists it's really something thank you for being here for having me the last question I had after reading about your childhood do you think about the day your son gets caught stealing like what you're going to say to him or like gets caught doing something you did well I know when I got caught stealing my mom like asked me for a piece of the gum that I had stole and I feel like that was probably wrong yeah so I will I will be that Mom that's like now we're going to go back and return it like where I am I'm going to do that I'm going to do that I love it I'm going to do it I see the white moms doing it on the Tik Tok and I'm going to do it I'm going to do it I'm going to be that Karen or maybe like I don't know maybe like pretend I don't know we'll have to see like I don't know but I definitely get a lot of my parenting advice on Tik Tok was it white mom Tik Tok I mean they just come up you know like the algorithm does give it's like but it's like I don't know cuz then it beers very quickly into like scary Mormon Mom all so so it's like it's it's hard it's so hard cuz you so many moms coming at you with different things you know it's like what is the right way like I don't know MH yeah a part of this is like figuring out your way based on you know what you've been through it's true also it's like every kid's different every kid needs their tailored parenting you know so genuinely I just need to know though for life you have two books of photograph graphy one of them is called symptomatic of a relationship gone sour heartburn and nausea is that what is that genuinely the sign of a relationship that's just totally gone wrong is like you feel those physical symptoms yeah it could happen you I feel like in heartbreak people get cancer when they get heartbroken you know what I mean it's like the stress is so much people kill themselves over a broken heart you know damn it it it hits different for everybody you know some and then some people are really good at compartmentalizing and like don't feel anything it seems but then you know it'll come up in certain ways like a tell that something is going wrong heartburn nausea yeah ingestion up upset I'm just trying to learn about relationships because I'm I have a relationship now for the first time ever so I'm acquiring knowledge so thank you a well it's probably better that you waited until you were a little older yeah I feel like more people should wait I feel like people rushing to like get married and it's like but you still don't even know who you are you know and then in 10 years you look at your partner you guys have changed so much you don't even know each other anymore I think it's better to like establish who you are establish your career you know have some money in the bank so you're never like tied to anyone for the wrong reasons and then you can think about sharing that with somebody beautiful you know Society shapes us though in different ways and tells us to do things and fogs our [ __ ] and yeah it's crazy wow thank you for being here thank you for having me down the drain listen to it read it link below you good yep Julia Fox thanks for being you I'm clapping for myself [Music]