Alec Baldwin Calls In To Gloat

hello oh no Alec what do you want are you drunk uh no no hello Daniel hello um I I decided that I would uh Grace your presence uh and everybody on the show and call in and you know uh Camp Serenity is uh you know we've had a glorious weekend you know great yeah it's great um as you know we were we were recently raided the uh number one camp in Time Magazine so uh I I didn't I didn't see that I I think you're making that up for sure no my my world are now agent Mike Bloom he uh he recently sent that over to me and um all right it was I was very pleased uh to see that which is no surprise you know us Baldwins we um were winners and not not your brother I thought you that one brother well well listen you know and not not everybody can all be Alec Baldwin right but you know this nevertheless I'm pretty sure you have uh seen the news that uh uh Alec Baldwin the charges have been dropped that's right charges were dropped against you're calling me drunk to gloat about it what what what what do you what do you want from me Alec Baldwin no no no no no you look you look a little trashed well do I do I really well you know yeah open your [ __ ] eyes I I guess I guess because well you know um we have reason to celebrate you know we uh I I told everybody in the world that I was uh I was innocent I I would never shoot a a harmless beautiful young lady never do that I mean it is weird that the last time you were on you already saying you were innocent and now it's been officially declared that because of mishandling of evidence wonder how you mat that one off Mr baldman kind of connections you got well listen nevertheless you know you want to get into semantics about um why I uh you know had when the charges were dropped against me that's nether here nor there the the fact of the matter is the charges were dropped against your friend Alec boltman and we're not friends we're not friends I just want to make that clear to everybody watching I'm not friendss with Alec Baldwin I never I never like this [ __ ] I don't know why you we're friends we're friends we're friends we're not [ __ ] friends where are my mother you're not my [ __ ] you're not my [ __ ] Alec Alec just because I I talked to you at Best Buy years ago we're now [ __ ] friends all right and and and listen you know um I've heard to the grap Vine but um I've heard that it's a story you repeat very often so yeah just for pres kind of you know you're you're a little enamored with uh Al bman you had no effect on my life other than than being an entertaining [ __ ] story with when I'm [ __ ] trashed all right Alec Baldwin all right you you should have been [ __ ] you should be in prison should be a [ __ ] prison I'm not but I'm not Alec Baldwin is not in prison and he won't be going to prison bro I I'm your friend I I am I am North's friend wall Goblin's friend you know I I think you would like to know something there Daniel what do you know um well you know I guess me I don't want to be messy but um you know I I think you you should maybe not talk so hot there because I don't think that you know your uh Community too well you know I think um well I I think that you know someone that you know thinks so low of me but think so highly of his community I I think I think it's kind of funny how um you know I I got uh applications from uh a one wall Goblin and a a North End for what a little and a little piggy should be accepted into Camp Serenity is that [ __ ] no it's not true you're [ __ ] lying right fax me the [ __ ] fax me it fax me that [ __ ] I will have my world renowned agent Barry Bloom who send you over all the facts I don't believe it all fact y'all better tell me right North in did you apply to go to his [ __ ] Camp cuz he's [ __ ] crazy he got away with [ __ ] murder all right I don't know what else other this [ __ ] I know we get attacked by raccoons yeah send the raccoons over to his ass listen Alex what what do you want I I know I know it doesn't stop with them it doesn't stop with them Dr bear Dr bear were he was he was asking a lot of questions a lot of questions about K surity C Serenity is the premere I'm sorry you have to hear this Al you know I I I think can you drink water I think you're drunk I obviously you're celebrating your big [ __ ] can get in away with murder all right noran's very hot I I didn't get I didn't get away with murder I got away with I I got away with being a great man a uh a great [ __ ] man you and we're all we're all celebrating here you are unbelievable listen I I I took the liberty to um I saw you didn't have any uh appropriate cards and your extreme cards to uh celebrate the the win of myself so I uh I took the liberty of [Music] adding what is happening [Music] that is that you singing yes it is yes me and uh it's a duet with me and barber pres and it's now hard that uh any any anybody watching the show can out play and hat to to your friend Alec bald I'm deleting that card at the end of the night I'm telling you right now well listen you can obv obviously do what you want but I how how did you even get into my [ __ ] stream loes what the [ __ ] well listen I I i' rather not speak on it because it's going to be you know it's going to be a lot of he said he said and I rather not you know get into all that but um regardless there is a Alec Baldwin card uh now in your stream loots and I I think you'll find it actually pretty interesting that by the end of your uh uh season you will find that the Alec Baldwin duet card is the most played card in your stream category you probably the only you'll probably be the only person to play that I'll tell you right now I don't think so uh yeah I think you will be the only person I I'll put an alert just to I I'll see the stats you'll be the only [ __ ] person I'll tell you right now he held a gun to me God damn it Dr bear Daniel Daniel all right you know I get every time I give someone mod control of my cards this is what happens Daniel I understand what's happening here I you know I I I was victorious in my in my trial you thought you were going to see me off the prison and that's not what happened okay I was Victorious and I think as a man all right as a man I think you should shake my hand or offer me you know congratulations and oh I feel like I feel like that's that's what's necessary you know you run a camp I run a camp all right I don't run a camp I work at the camp all right I'm a worker you're the face of the camp okay you're the face of the camp just like I'm the face of the camp here Camp's r one you're you're [ __ ] drunk man like stop calling me we're not friends all right man I I am I am acquitted of all charges charges good for you I like Balwin you know you still you still did it it still happened no that's not how the law works you know that's not how it works and uh you know that that that North End you know he wow you know he was like wow you know Mr like Baldwin I loved you in Malice and and 30 Rock and I uh you know I do like Camp Nostalgia but um you know you guys facility is here and you know I just have great respect for you Mr Al and I said well you know nor and I really appreciate that you know there's there's a lot of honor to you you know a lot of Honor I I think you're making [ __ ] up that doesn't sound that doesn't sound right that was North that was North nor nor is very high confus you're taking advantage he was very inted he was very intrigued by our he told me he said he said I one I I I went to defect from uh Camp Nostalgia and I want to I want to pledge my allegiance to Camp Serenity you know but I just I just want to that's [ __ ] you're you're [ __ ] you know what I I don't I don't you're [ __ ] crazy man you're [ __ ] crazy listen Hey listen now that the uh the trial's over you know um charges have been dropped Alec baldon uh didn't do anything wrong so I I just wanna I just want to be able to tell you um I'm texting I'm texting R right right now to block your your call like this is [ __ ] from from me to you I'm texting I'm texting rer to you for me to you um Al like Baldwin I like Baldwin loves you I love you very much I don't I don't like you I don't like you at all um but um if you keep talking has a good point you killed boo boo where's Yogi Bear all right I don't I I don't know what you're talking about I have never I don't these are cartoon characters I I have no idea maybe you know you said the northern spokes a lot of weed and that's exactly what it seems like he's doing oh oh oh you're calling you're calling norin a [ __ ] drug addict all right yes yes yes he's a uh he's very high and he doesn't know what he's talking about right now quite frankly don't my friend a [ __ ] drug addict all right listen right now listen listen I think he Al like Baldwin wants you to know if you keep talking hot to me Alec Baldwin and we going to shoot me too you son of a [ __ ] [ __ ] shoot your [ __ ] ass oh what what how did you get away how what the [ __ ] bro do you have better call because I'm Alec [ __ ] Baldwin that's why [ __ ] pad yeah don't call my friend a drug addict I don't know why you said that I think you I think you might want to rethink how you are talking to Alec Baldwin no I don't I don't like you dud I don't want to put my gat into your back listen I've been getting the the campers here ready for our baseball game all right you want to put a little wager if if Camp Nostalgia wins the baseball game you Alec baldman resign resign resign mine and I want you ever to contact me or this show again how's that [Music] sound I do love a wager I do love a wager that's my wager what's your wager if you guys win what what what six [ __ ] you want huh if um I will say this I accept and if I Alec Baldwin and Camp Serenity if we win this wager you and everybody in the last respawn show uh during one of your uh very very lowbudget movie nights um have to watch an Alec Baldwin motion picture oh my god did you make a [ __ ] movie that's in the woods or camp that cuz right now that's all we're doing I've made I've made many movies I've made many many oh my God are you playing this again Alec I think it's quite appropriate for uh seeing I'm a Victorious person in life and I triumphant and I uh I just want to I want I want everybody to feel how I feel you understand I'm going delete that car watch your [ __ ] mouth uhhuh all right I accept our wager if I if if Camp Nostalgia wins the baseball game you get the [ __ ] out of town you resign from Camp Serenity if you win we watch one of your shitty movies that that sounds marvelous Danny Daniel that sounds marvelous you rich people really don't give a [ __ ] huh what we do we just don't give as much of a [ __ ] as you common folk do well listen I gotta go meet Lauren Michaels I'm hosting Saturday Night Live for the 50 millionth time and I'm sure the ratings will be as big as they've always been when I'm there so I bet you're gonna dress up like Trump you I hope I I hope that you and uh the rest of your Compadres on the last respawn shell don't don't listen listen don't go too hard on them you know they they they they just wanted to be a part of something big you know they they you know they they love they love they love Camp Nostalgia they just maybe love Camp Serenity a little bit more okay uhhuh whatever man don't call again leave me alone we'll be in touch soon Daniel we'll be in touch soon yeah uh Alec Baldwin always wins yeah apparently all right get the [ __ ] out of here [Music]